Soc312 week 5 final project

Becoming a Successful Parent

Jennifer Daoust

SOC312 Child Family & Society

Sabrina Bright

January 21, 2013 

A Guide to Help New Parents Enter the World of Parenting

Different Stages a Child goes Through

Brofenbrenner’s Ecological Model

Socialization Skills

Technology Advancements

Self-Esteem

Tips on How to Help our Children Deal with Life

Child Care Environments

Teachers and Classrooms

Parenting Styles

Influence of Peers

Bronbenbrenner’s Ecological Model- This model was based of four different systems that were meant to interlock with one another (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012).

Microsystems- The microsystem is the “first interacting system in Bronbenbrenner’s model” (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012). Our microsystem involves many different people who affect us in all the different paths we take throughout life. It has to deal with the activities and the roles we play as a child. Interpersonal relationships are a part of this model as well. The relationships children make with their parents, classmates, teachers, and other children will affect their microsystems. That is why it is important to help guide our child to develop positive and healthy relationships with people. Parents need to do smart research on schools, daycares, sports, and etc.., to help ensure they child is being surrounded in a healthy environment.

Mesosystems- The mesosystem is when two parts of the microsystem form together (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012). Since family and school are part of the microsystem when those intertwine they become part of the mesosystem. Moreover, those two areas combining are inevitable. Therefore, when the social media becomes a part of the child’s life it can affect both those areas. It can affect the child on deciding which crowd of people to hang out with. When the media influences the child in a negative manner, that then reflects on the family because they have to try and change things. Social media is the future and our children are way more involved than ever before. All this will affect the child’s life in many different ways and can change how they grow up.

Understanding the how the world around us can affect the development of the child, will help us make better parenting choices. Exosystems- This part of the model is

sometimes hard for parents to control. That is why we always need to be fully aware of our actions because it will affect our children. A parent’s workplace can have a positive or negative affect on our child depending on what profession the parent is in. Simple things like leaving late for work can be negative because then we are late to pick up our child. That in the end can change the child’s perception on how reliable adults can be. Also, having parent’s night out can send a message to the children that when we are adults it is healthy to do things for ourselves. Therefore, always being conscious of what we do is important so we can ensure is does not impact our children in a negative manner.

Macrosystems- Societal values, cultural context, and societal beliefs are all aspects that are not under our control. There will be many different cultural and society’s our children will experience in life. That is why it is important to teach our children about the different society’s and the different cultural. We need to expose our children to the world they live in. Therefore, when they come across something that is not familiar to them, they will learn to embrace it instead of judging it.

Socialization Skills Culture, community, and sports are three different worlds, but yet they all do affect one

another. Culture is always a sensitive and tricky topic to discuss because so much is involved when it comes to someone’s culture. The world our family brings us into, that automatically makes that us become a part of their culture. We learn their ways of life and the religion that is involve with their culture. Sometimes the culture lets us have the freedom to follow their path and sometimes we have no choice but live how they live. Therefore, there are positives when our culture lets us explore other cultures to learn which ways work for us. It is sad when the culture makes every decision of our life and we are not allowed to escape that. As a child they have no choice but to obey the culture they live in. So as parents we need to keep an open mind and let our child explore all their options.

The community we live in has many different cultures and types of people in it. That is a positive because we then get to experience all the different worlds of life. Being in a diverse community can change our views on many parts of our life. It helps us learn what our likes and dislikes are. There are many times parents only associate with people in their community that have the same beliefs as them. They do this because they feel they are protecting their children from learning outside information they do not want them to know about. Although sometimes sheltering our children too much can harm them when they grow up. It is healthy to expose children to different communities because they learn how to deal with different types of people.

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Playing sports can always be a positive environment because it usually a neutral zone between all different types of children. It lets children be children and not have to worry what is going in the world. It gives children the freedom to not have to act a certain way and to just let them have fun. Most sports bring people together who come from all different cultures and communities. It let people put their differences aside and come together to help encourage the team to succeed.

Tech

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Computers/Internet- During the school years it is important to provide students with the necessary tools to make them successful in the class. Since everything is mostly done on computers, children need to have that tool in their class to help them with their work. Teaching children how to properly research for information on the internet will help them in and outside of the classroom. Since this generation is based off the advancing technology, teachers need to ensure they understand how to operate that technology in all different aspects of their lives.

Facebook- Facebook is always a controversial subject. Therefore, looking at this advancement from a child’s perspective rather than a closed minded adult opens up a new world. Most people might feel that children should not have a Facebook. There are many reasons why a child should not display all their personal information over a web page. However, this is a part of their world and how they socialize to make friends. If we were to stop the children from creating that social environment with their friends, they might be considered not cool in school. We might not agree with that, but it is the reality we live in. Facebook is a major part of children’s lives and it what keeps them connected socially with other people.

Technology Advancements

Phones- This technology is in the same lines of Facebook. Children not having a phone could simply be social suicide. This generation is all about communicating via text or email, so if they do not have a phone how will they ever communicate with anybody. Children in elementary school do need to learn how to use all the advanced technology with all the smart phones and I Pads. Technology is only going to keep advancing and learning about it at a young age will only help them in their life.

Video Games/TV’s/Movies- There are many reason why all this technology can only be beneficial to our children. Having children play educational games and watching educational TV shows will only advance their skills in and outside the classroom. Parents need educate themselves on all the positive shows and movies so they can have their children watch something they will actually learn from. It is nice to take a break from all that and let the children have their freedom with choosing their own game, show, or movie to watch. However, we still need to monitor what they are doing to ensure they are not being exposed to violence or sex at a young age.

Technology will be advancing weather we agree with it or not. Therefore, we need to accept those changes and embrace them rather then turn them down. We are probably all guilty of being negative about advancing technology. What we need to do is open up our eyes to the world of possibilities that technology can do for us and good things will come out of it.

Many times when there are advancements in society people do tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive. Sometimes change is hard to deal with. So it is easier to point out what is wrong in hopes that it will not change. Educators need to support these changes in the classroom and try to provide them with the resources to help them learn about it. There needs to be more technology classes so students will learn how to responsibly use all these devices. Parents also need to support their children when they want to use Facebook or get that phone.

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Building up Self-Esteem is a huge factor when raising children. Working at a school help made it easier to learn about the different motivators that can build self-esteem in and outside the classroom. Sometimes there can be negative outcomes if we use the wrong different types of motivators to build self-esteem. What we teach them will affect them as they get older and parents need to keep that in mind.

Learned helplessness is when someone “is incapable of accomplishing tasks and has little or no control of the environment” (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012/ McDevitt & Ormrod, 2004). Often times the child has no motivation to want to complete any task and want to learn anything new (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012/ Fincham, 2008). At this point sometimes using extrinsic reward is the only way to keep the child interested. However, that can be dangerous to always use those motivators because the child will never learn how to complete things on their own. Children need to understand being rewarded for something is a privilege and a special treat. They should not expect that type of reward every time they complete something. When we do that to the children we are teaching them to be helpless. It is like saying to them; I will only help you if you help me by rewarding me with something. That is not a good trait children should be learning.

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Children during the ages between six through seven, go through the concrete operations stage of development (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012). At this point in their life, children are able to “use mental operations to solve concrete or actual problems” (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012). Children will start to think situations through prior to just acting on them without thinking about the consequences. They are able to become more independent with their problems and solving them on their own. During this stage their attitudes and beliefs will start to reflect who they have been associating themselves with. They thoughts will become a lot more organized and logical making it easier for the child to handle tough or uncomfortable situations.

Teaching children not to be prejudice will also help build up their self-esteem and others self-esteem as well. When we are judged it can break as down as children and make us feel very poor about ourselves. Professor Donna Ford from Vanderbilt University made some extremely good points about prejudice against all the cultures in today’s world. She mentions many times that it is important to learn about the other culture first before we start judging and pointing our fingers at them. As an educator and parents we need to teach children to learn to accept people for their differences and not cast them out. Children need to be exposed to different cultures. There are so many different stereotypes that exist in today’s world. Children mainly learn about them from their family.

Depending on the different developmental stage the child is in will help determine which children are able to learn how to accept people or not. During the concrete operations stage of development the child is able to understand the differences people have. They are able to think more logical when it comes to judging and accepting other people. The main reason children do not accept another person is because we cannot accept what we do not understand. We need to teach them about the flaws people have and learn to like them for their flaws. The differences are what make us unique. That is what makes the world so colorful, fun, and surprising. Because of the fact everyone has their own appearance, personality, style, and way of living. When children get old enough their minds do understand that concept and parents need to ensure that they do not outcast people for their differences.

Knowing all this information will make it easier to help children accept themselves for who they are and build their self-esteem.

Center-Based Facilities- “Center-based programs include

for-profit child care centers th

at are accredited by such

organizations as the National Association for the Education

of Young Children (NAEYC) or licensed by state agencies as

well as programs facilitated by faith-based organizations that

may be nonprofit” (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012).

Starting your child off with a good foundation will h

elp

prepare them for the rest of their life. At the age of fiv

e your

child will begin kindergarten, but what happens before that?

Choosing the right center-based facility based on your

beliefs, education, and social skills

are very important to

parents. Having your child come to a center-based facility

will help the child learn to interact with other children. They

will also start to

learn how to be in a routine every day and

learn to stay on track with daily activities. Your child will b

e

exposed to all different elements in life

helping prepare them

for their life outside school as well. T

here will be group

activities, solo activities, play tim

e, story tim

e, and many

other aspects that will h

elp with their developmental skills.

They will start to

understand that every person in this world

is different and we need to learn to adapt to all those

different people. They will start to

get a sense for what they

like and do not like. Bringing your child to a center-based

facility will o

nly have a positive outcome for their fu

ture.

Nannies- If both the parents work full time and the parents are not quite ready to bring their child into a school setting; a nanny would be the prefect option. Most nannies will come to the child’s home and provide care for them there. Looking for the right nanny is important. The nanny needs to understand the different developmental stages the child goes through and how to help them grow through it. Nannies need to provide an educational environment for the child when the parents are away. Nannies also have to be very open minded and willing to listen to how the parents want their child raised. There are many different child care agencies that can help parents find the right nanny. Websites such as: www.nannies4hire.com, www.care.com, and www.sittercity.com, are just to name a few. Researching is the main tool parents need to use to find the best nanny for their child.

Family-Based Facilities- Family-based facilities area bit different than having a nanny or placing them in center-based facility. Center-based facilities are a bit neutral because they cannot focus on a certain religion or way of life. They have to cater to the diversity of cultural that attends their schools. Therefore, if the parents have a strong religion background and want their children to be exposed to that in the learning environment, then family-based facility is the place for them. There are many family-based facilities that will bring religion into the atmosphere and respect what the parents are already teaching them. These types of facilities really cater to how the parents want them to be taught. They take more into consideration the learning styles of each parent and will continue that same teaching style while they are caring for them.

Teachers and Classrooms

Teachers and the classroom your child has is not something parents can always control. Therefore, it is important for the parents to be very involved with their child’s school. This way the parents will know what type of education their child is receiving. Teaching your child self-regulation skills will help them have better control when they are in the classroom.

“Self-regulation refers to several complicated processes that allow children to appropriately respond to their environment” (Florez, 2011). It is always important when you are interacting with society to try and teach people to better themselves and their lives. When children see adults always doing well, then they will want to portray that same behavior. Children want to mimic what they see and if they get a good outcome from it they will want to keep doing it. Self-regulation is to help us all control how we respond to all different situations in the environment (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012). We should always be aware of our actions and how we respond to situations. Let’s say you have children in your car and someone cuts you off. Well, most people get upset and yell at that person. Once the children see that reaction whenever that happens again those children will now have negative reactions. We have to think whatever we do will mold that child in the form we shape it to be. We really have to be tuned into a child’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in order to regulate how to teach them different things in life (Florez, 2011). When adults are able to control all those aspects in their lives, children will soon be able to control theirs as well. Being a teacher is extremely hard because you have to make sure every day that all your actions and emotions cannot be portrayed in a negative manner.

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Au

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This type of parenting style “is characterized by a high degree of demandingness and a low degree of responsiveness” (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012). These parents are very strict with their children and expect them to obey their every word. These parents do believe children should be punished when they disobey their authority figure. Parents would expect their child to always do well in school, follow the rules, and learn strong self-control. Children do not have a so-say when it comes to how they should behave. They either follow what the parents tell them or they will get in trouble.

This type of parenting style “is characterized by high degree of demandingness and responsiveness” (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012). These types of parents are very loving when it comes to their children. They show a lot of respect for them and applaud their individuality. They let the child be themselves and prove to their parents they can be responsible without being so harsh when it comes to the rules and obeying them. Rather than just telling the children what to do, they like to communicate and discuss how the children should behave.

Paren

ting S

tylesP

ermissive P

arentin

g Style

Un

involved

Paren

ting S

tyle

This type of parenting style “is characterized by a low degree of demandingness and a high degree of responsiveness” (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012). These types of parents are a bit more relaxed. They do not hold the child to any sort of standard. The parents tend not to follow through with what they tell their children to do. They are still very affectionate and loving, but they do not expect much from them. They usually give into them when the child throws a fit or gets in trouble and just lets the punishment slide. The parents do not really communicate with their child or teach them values. They sometimes will shower them with gifts to show that they care instead of teaching them values.

This type of parenting style can be “labeled as disengaged or neglectful” (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012). It “is characterized by low degrees of demandingness and responsiveness” (Bojczyk, Shriner, & Shriner, 2012). This type of parenting style is the least desirable and most parents should stay away from it. Parents like this hold no standard for their child to learn any sort of life values. They do not teach them how to behave in society or how to follow any sort of rules. Children do not feel loved or feel like they have anyone to count on in their life. These types of children can grow up and start getting into trouble because they were never taught to not act that way. These parents show very little interest in their child’s life and most times could care less when they are in trouble.

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Influence of Peers Mj

Schools and Our MjChildren Mj

Prosocial Mj MjBehavior Mj

Prosocial Mj behavior exist infants and up to 12 months of age ( MjBojczyk Mj, MjShriner Mj, & MjShriner Mj, 2012). This kind of behavior is to "promote positive Mj

social interaction with other children" ( MjBojczyk Mj, MjShriner Mj, & MjShriner Mj, Mj2012). It is important for parents to have their infants interact with Mj

other infants so they start to understand how to be around one Mjanother. Parents need to teach them to share and help them develop Mjtheir social skills. Letting the infant be independent when playing is Mj

important because it helps them figure things out on their own. Mj

Gender Identity MjRoles Mj

Gender Identity is crucial to help children learn what roles they need to Mjplay in life. Gender identity can be influenced by the child's peers and Mj

the adults in their life. It can sometimes be confusing to them when Mjgetting mixed information from everyone. Children need to understand Mj

how girls should behavior, how boys should be behavior and what Mjgender they are. We as parents and teachers also need to let children Mjhave the freedom to express their gender how they please. Children Mjmight not always portray their correct gender role, but as adults it is Mj

not fair for us to change how a child feels inside. All we can do at that Mjpoint is to guide them in how to behavior, but in the end it is up to Mj

them. We cannot force our children to play certain roles if they are not Mjcomfortable in them. Mj

Schools are a huge impact Mjin our child's life. The Mj

school you decide to put Mjyour child in can shape Mjand mold your child into Mj

almost anything. It is very Mjimportant to make sure Mj

you equip your child with Mjenough tools to avoid bad Mj

situations in schools. MjSchool is necessary for Mjchildren to have in their Mj

life. It helps them develop Mjmost of their social and Mj

problem solving skills. We Mjas teachers and parents Mj

need to make sure we are Mjthere for our children when Mjsomething does not go as Mjplan. There are so many Mjdifferent influences in Mj

schools, but that is when Mjwe teach our children to Mj

think about the Mjconsequences to each Mj

decision they make. When Mjchildren start going to Mj

school we cannot tell them Mjhow to respond to that Mjenvironment. This is Mj

something that the child Mjneeds to figure out on their Mj

ReferencesBojczyk, E. K., Shriner, B., & Shriner, M. (2012). Supporting

Children’s Socialization: A

Development Approach. San Diego: Bridgepoint

Education, Inc.

The IRIS Center: Cultural and Linguistic Difference. (n.d.). Retrieved

January 10, 2013, from

http://

iris.peabody.vanderbilt.edu/resource_podcast/ford_cul_ling_diff_trans.

html

Florez, I. (2011). Behaviors That Still Challenge Children and Adults.

Developing Young Children’s Self-Regulation Through

Every Day Experiences. Retrieved

December 13, 2012, from

http://

www.naeyc.org/files/yc/file/201107/Self-Regulation_Florez_OnlineJul

y2011.pdf