Skills that Build, Enhance or Maintain Self-Efficacy Week Ten.

Skills that Build, Enhance or Maintain Self-EfficacyWeek Ten

TopicsThe Four AgreementsMission StatementsAccountability GoalsCircle of Influence / Personal Power

Re-Visiting the Definitionof Self-EfficacySelf-EfficacyConfidence in the functioning of my mindConfidence in our ability to think, understand, learn, choose and make decisionsConfidence in our ability to cope with the basic challenges of lifeEarning a livingTake independent care of oneself in the worldAble to function effectively in interactions with other human beingsAbility to bounce back and regenerateSelf-trust; Self-relianceA disposition to expect success for our efforts

The Four Agreementsfrom the book by Don Miguel RuizBe Impeccable with Your WordDon't Take Anything PersonallyDon't Make AssumptionsAlways Do Your Best

The Four Agreementsfrom the book by Don Miguel RuizBe Impeccable with Your WordSpeak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.Impeccable means without sin a sin is something you do or believe that goes against yourself. It means not speaking against yourself, to yourself or to others. It means not rejecting yourself. To be impeccable means to take responsibility for yourself, to not participate in the blame game.What you put out energetically will return to you. Proper use of the word creates proper use of energy, putting out love and gratitude perpetuates the same in the universe. Impeccability starts at home. Be impeccable with yourself and that will reflect in your life and your relationships with others.

The Four Agreementsfrom the book by Don Miguel RuizDon't Take Anything PersonallyNothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.We take things personally when we agree with what others have said. If we didn't agree, the things that others say would not affect us emotionally. If we did not care about what others think about us, their words or behavior could not affect us.Even if someone yells at you, gossips about you, harms you or yours, it still is not about you! Their actions and words are based on what they believe in their personal dream. Our personal belief system makes us feel safe. When people have beliefs that are different from our own, we get scared, defend ourselves, and impose our point of view on others.

The Four Agreementsfrom the book by Don Miguel RuizDon't Make AssumptionsFind the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.When we make assumptions it is because we believe we know what others are thinking and feeling. We believe we know their point of view, their dream. We forget that our beliefs are just our point of view based on our belief system and personal experiences and have nothing to do with what others think and feel. We make the assumption that everybody judges us, abuses us, victimizes us, and blames us the way we do ourselves. As a result we reject ourselves before others have the chance to reject us. When we think this way, it becomes difficult to be ourselves in the world.Take action and be clear to others about what you want or do not want; do not gossip and make assumptions about things others tell you. Respect other points of view and avoid arguing just to be right. Respect yourself and be honest with yourself. Stop expecting the people around you to know what is in your head.

The Four Agreementsfrom the book by Don Miguel RuizAlways Do Your BestYour best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.Doing your best means enjoying the action without expecting a reward. The pleasure comes from doing what you like in life and having fun, not from how much you get paid. Enjoy the path traveled and the destination will take care of itself.Living in the moment and releasing the past helps us to do the best we can in the moment. It allows us to be fully alive right now, enjoying what is present, not worrying about the past or the future.Have patience with yourself. Take action. Practice forgiveness. If you do your best always, transformation will happen as a matter of course.

Writing a PersonalMission StatementA personal mission statement is a brief description of what you want to focus onwhat you want to accomplish and who you want to become in a particular area of your life over the next one to three years. It is a way to focus your energy, actions, behaviors and decisions towards the things that are most important to you

Personal Mission Statement GuidelinesKeep it simple, clear and brief. The best mission statements tend to be 3 to 5 sentences long.Your mission statement should touch upon what you want to focus on and who you want to become as a person (character) in this part of your life. Make sure your mission statement is positive. Instead of saying what you don't want to do or don't want to be, say what you do want to do or become. Find the positive alternatives to any negative statements.Include positive behaviors, character traits and values that you consider particularly important and want to develop further.Think about how your actions, habits, behavior and character traits in this area affect the important relationships in your life.

Personal Mission Statement GuidelinesCreate a mission statement that will guide you in your day-to-day actions and decisions. Make it a part of your everyday life.Think about how your mission affects the other areas of your life. Is it consistent with your other personal mission statements? Will it conflict with or contradict something else? Is it balanced?Make it emotional. Including an emotional payoff in your mission statement infuses it with passion and will make it even more compelling, inspiring and energizing.Remember that your mission statement is not cast in stone. It will continue to change and evolve as you gain insights about yourself and what you want out of each part of your life.

Goal SettingGoal setting is a process that helps you:get clear on what you want, make an action plan to help you get there, launch into action, and persist until you reach your destination or find a better one.This process can significantly increase your probability of success and achieving what you want. Research studies show a direct link between goal setting and enhanced performance in sports and business.

What is a Goal?A goal is a well-defined target that gives you clarity, direction, motivation, and focus. Goals are tools that help you in five main ways:Make a positive change in your lifeForm a new habit or change an existing habitImprove or develop a skill, talent, or abilityRealize a dream or other important outcomeImprove your performance on a task or activity

SMART GoalsHow to Set and Achieve ThemA common acronym in goal setting is the so-called SMART goals, but what does it really mean and what is so smart about them?The SMART acronym is used to describe what experts consider to be "good" goal statements because they contain most of the essential ingredients.

SMART GoalsHow to Set and Achieve ThemSpecificMeasurableAction-orientedRealisticTime-bound

The Re-Direction ofPersonal PowerThe Personal Power Grid Scott & Jaffe

The

Controllable

The Uncontrollable

Action

Influence

Struggle

Inaction

Forfeit

Letting Go

HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesHUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesHUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesHUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesHUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesBe Impeccable with Your WordSpeak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.Impeccable means without sin and a sin is something you do or believe that goes against yourself. It means not speaking against yourself, to yourself or to others. It means not rejecting yourself. To be impeccable means to take responsibility for yourself, to not participate in the blame game.Regarding the word, the rules of action-reaction apply. What you put out energetically will return to you. Proper use of the word creates proper use of energy, putting out love and gratitude perpetuates the same in the universe. The converse is also true. Impeccability starts at home. Be impeccable with yourself and that will reflect in your life and your relationships with others. This agreement can help change thousands of other agreements, especially ones that create fear instead of love.

HUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesDon't Take Anything PersonallyNothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.We take things personally when we agree with what others have said. If we didn't agree, the things that others say would not affect us emotionally. If we did not care about what others think about us, their words or behavior could not affect us.Even if someone yells at you, gossips about you, harms you or yours, it still is not about you! Their actions and words are based on what they believe in their personal dream. Our personal Book of Law and belief system makes us feel safe. When people have beliefs that are different from our own, we get scared, defend ourselves, and impose our point of view on others. If someone gets angry with us it is because our belief system is challenging their belief system and they get scared. They need to defend their point of view. Why become angry, create conflict, and expend energy arguing when you are aware of this?

HUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesDon't Make AssumptionsFind the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.When we make assumptions it is because we believe we know what others are thinking and feeling. We believe we know their point of view, their dream. We forget that our beliefs are just our point of view based on our belief system and personal experiences and have nothing to do with what others think and feel. We make the assumption that everybody judges us, abuses us, victimizes us, and blames us the way we do ourselves. As a result we reject ourselves before others have the chance to reject us. When we think this way, it becomes difficult to be ourselves in the world.Take action and be clear to others about what you want or do not want; do not gossip and make assumptions about things others tell you. Respect other points of view and avoid arguing just to be right. Respect yourself and be honest with yourself. Stop expecting the people around you to know what is in your head.

HUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesAlways Do Your BestYour best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.Doing your best means enjoying the action without expecting a reward. The pleasure comes from doing what you like in life and having fun, not from how much you get paid. Enjoy the path traveled and the destination will take care of itself.Living in the moment and releasing the past helps us to do the best we can in the moment. It allows us to be fully alive right now, enjoying what is present, not worrying about the past or the future.Have patience with yourself. Take action. Practice forgiveness. If you do your best always, transformation will happen as a matter of course.

HUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesHUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesPersonal Mission Statement GuidelinesWhile there is no unique format or formula for creating your personal mission statement, the following guidelines may be helpful:Keep it simple, clear and brief. The best mission statements tend to be 3 to 5 sentences long.Your mission statement should touch upon what you want to focus on and who you want to become as a person (character) in this part of your life. Think about specific actions, behaviors, habits and qualities that would have a significant positive impact in this part of your life over the next one to three years.Make sure your mission statement is positive. Instead of saying what you don't want to do or don't want to be, say what you do want to do or become. Find the positive alternatives to any negative statements.Include positive behaviors, character traits and values that you consider particularly important and want to develop further.Think about how your actions, habits, behavior and character traits in this area affect the important relationships in your life.Create a mission statement that will guide you in your day-to-day actions and decisions. Make it a part of your everyday life.Think about how your mission affects the other areas of your life. Is it consistent with your other personal mission statements? Will it conflict with or contradict something else? Is it balanced?Make it emotional. Including an emotional payoff in your mission statement infuses it with passion and will make it even more compelling, inspiring and energizing.Remember that your mission statement is not cast in stone. It will continue to change and evolve as you gain insights about yourself and what you want out of each part of your life.

HUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesPersonal Mission Statement GuidelinesWhile there is no unique format or formula for creating your personal mission statement, the following guidelines may be helpful:Keep it simple, clear and brief. The best mission statements tend to be 3 to 5 sentences long.Your mission statement should touch upon what you want to focus on and who you want to become as a person (character) in this part of your life. Think about specific actions, behaviors, habits and qualities that would have a significant positive impact in this part of your life over the next one to three years.Make sure your mission statement is positive. Instead of saying what you don't want to do or don't want to be, say what you do want to do or become. Find the positive alternatives to any negative statements.Include positive behaviors, character traits and values that you consider particularly important and want to develop further.Think about how your actions, habits, behavior and character traits in this area affect the important relationships in your life.Create a mission statement that will guide you in your day-to-day actions and decisions. Make it a part of your everyday life.Think about how your mission affects the other areas of your life. Is it consistent with your other personal mission statements? Will it conflict with or contradict something else? Is it balanced?Make it emotional. Including an emotional payoff in your mission statement infuses it with passion and will make it even more compelling, inspiring and energizing.Remember that your mission statement is not cast in stone. It will continue to change and evolve as you gain insights about yourself and what you want out of each part of your life.

HUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesHUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesHUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesHUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem StrategiesSpecific - Your SMART goal statement should be a clear and specific statement of what you want.When your target is vague or ambiguous, your success mechanism can become confused and either shut down or go after the wrong target.Measurable - There is an old saying that says "what gets measured gets done."Making your goal measurable helps you see your progress, recognize if you are moving in the right direction, and see how far you still need to go.Action-Oriented - This means your goal should focus on actions you can take that are in your direct control. It's OK to have goals whose outcome you can't directly control, as long as you are clear about the actions you need to take to do your part in the process.Realistic - Realistic is another word for achievable. Again, this doesn't mean that the goal needs to be easy.Realistic also means that the actions associated with your goal are things that you can do. For example, if your goal requires you to spend 3 hours at the gym each day, that may not be a very realistic assumption given your present situation and lifestyle.Time-Bound - For goals that have a natural ending (like outcome goals), establishing a clear deadline for them adds an element of urgency and motivation.

HUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*HUSR 224: Self-Esteem Strategies*