1 Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS Licensed Psychologist and Consultant, Private Practice Clinical Assistant Professor, Department of Psychiatry, NYU Grossman School of Medicine [email protected]IG: @DrRachelNYC Twitter: @AskDr_Rachel Silencing Your Inner Critic in a Noisy World: Building a Healthy self-esteem July 24, 2021
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Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOSLicensed Psychologist and Consultant, Private PracticeClinical Assistant Professor, Department of Psychiatry,
• The Relationship between our Thoughts, Emotions, and Behaviors
• The Power of our Thoughts
• Mindfulness
• Breaking the Cycle and Learning to Reframe Your Thoughts to Work for YOU
• Summary and Practical Tips
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Overview
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Rachel Goldman, Ph.D. FTOS
• Think about your life • Think about where you are right now (work and personal)• How do you feel?• What thoughts come to mind? About your self/your body• What can you change in order to think, look, feel, and act the way
you want?
Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS3
Where Are You Now and Where Do You Want to Be?
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• What is OUT of our control?– Daily stressors
– Other people’s behaviors
– How other people react
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Focus on what is in our control
Rachel Goldman, Ph.D. FTOS
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• What is IN our control?– Our behaviors
– Our reactions
– How we cope
– Our thoughts
Mind-Body Connection• Our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and attitudes can either
positively or negatively affect our functioning.
• Our thoughts and behaviors can impact our mental state.
• Similarly, our mental state can impact our physical state.
Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS
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• Our thoughts, emotions and behaviors are all linked
• Neutral Situation until we interpret the event
• Lazarus --- the interpretation of stressful events is more important than the event itself. Our thoughts are what is important.
• EXAMPLE6
Thoughts-Emotions- Behaviors
Rachel Goldman, Ph.D. FTOS
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Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS7
The Power of Our Thoughts and the Mind- Body Connection
“I’m a failure”
“I know I’m not going to be able
to do it”
Feeling Lonely,
Down, and Isolated
Cancels the workout class, or
doesn’t try the new workout or
recommendation
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The Power of our Thoughts: Thoughts can be self-fulfilling
Rachel Goldman, Ph.D. FTOS
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Remember: All events start out as neutral until we interpret
them
• Our Inner Critic (negative self-talk)
– The inner voice of personal doubt and questioning
– Examples: “Am I good enough?,” “Am I ever going to succeed?”
• This may be the way you have been thinking for years
– Cognitive Distortions
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Why Can Choosing Positive Thoughts be Difficult?
Rachel Goldman, Ph.D. FTOS
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• Automatic Thoughts
• Tendencies or patterns of thinking or believing
• Exaggerated or irrational thought patterns• Thoughts that cause us to perceive reality inaccurately
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Cognitive Distortions
Rachel Goldman, Ph.D. FTOS
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Examples of Common Cognitive Distortions
Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS
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How do these thoughts make you feel?
How is this related to self-esteem and body image?
• Body image is how you view your physical self– your appearance
• Self-esteem is used to describe someone’s overall sense of self-worth– the opinion you have of yourself
• Both our body image and self-esteem are created by our thoughts (although of course external factors, and that “noise”, can contribute to how we perceive ourselves)
• It’s difficult to feel good about yourself if you have poor body image
• It’s also difficult to take care of your body (and mind) if you think poorly of yourself
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Body Image, Self-Esteem and Mental Health
Rachel Goldman, Ph.D. FTOS
12It becomes a vicious cycle
The Relationship Between Body Image, Self-Esteem and Mental Health
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Negative Cycle Positive Cycle
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So Now What?
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We know the impact our thoughts can have on our mental state. So if we can’t choose positive
thoughts, how about we identify them and then reframe them? We can increase our resilience, and overall wellbeing by counteracting the unhelpful
thoughts with more helpful ones
Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS15
Why Can Changing Our Thoughts be Difficult?
• Any change can be difficult• Before we can change the thoughts, we
have to be able to identify that they are not working for us and identify the unhelpful thoughts.
• BUT how do we do that if our mind is racing and there is all of this “noise”?
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Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS16
Mindfulness16
• Mindfulness is a state of mind.
• It is being fully aware and present with your experiences (your thoughts, feelings, body sensations and surroundings) IN THE MOMENT, in a nonjudgmental way.
– Not rehashing the past or even imagining the future
• Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention in a way that creates space for insight.
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What is Being Mindful?
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• To be mindful is to get out of “autopilot”• This can be difficult when “zoned out,” stressed or worried• Can also be difficult when we are thinking about the past
or obsessing about the future• For some this means to take back control of your mind, and
getting out of that “autopilot”
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What is Being Mindful?- Cont’d
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• Start by simply noticing.– Notice your surroundings. – Use all of your senses (what do you: feel, see, smell and taste?)
• Work on your breathing• Increase your awareness.
– “Tune in” to yourself, food, thoughts, experiences, habits, triggers etc.
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Mindful Tips
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• Observe and notice your thoughts and feelings– Watch and label your experiences from a distance– Label a thought as “just a thought”– It’s like watching yourself on the television screen– Don’t try to change the experience, just notice it
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Mindful Tips- Cont’d
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• Practice Mindfulness and Self-Awareness– Become aware of how your thoughts are impacting your emotions and behaviors.
– Observe your thoughts
– Ask yourself if this thought is helpful?
– What purpose is the thought serving you?
– How does the thought make you feel?
• Identify the Cognitive Distortion– Observe it and label it
– Not at all thoughts are facts. Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS21
Now What?Let’s Become Aware
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• Accept it for what it is– Take a breath
– Acknowledge it (it’s just a thought; thoughts are not facts)
• Challenge the Thought– Examine the Evidence. What’s the evidence for/against the thought?
– Where’s the truth to this ?
• Replace the unhelpful thought with a more helpful thought – What’s a more neutral (or more helpful) thought?
– A helpful technique could be to ask yourself what would you say to a friend