By Ammara Junaidi Han ji ye wohi Sherry Reh- man hain jo pehlay isi hu- koomat mei Information Minister reh chuki hain aur kafi mashoor politician aur journalist honay ke sath sath Pakistan Red Crescent Society ki Chairperson bhi hain. Wesay in ki maqbooliat ka graph chhat tor kar seedha asmaan ki taraf tou tab shoot kiya tha jab adliya bahaali ki muhim k silsilay mei Karachi mei aik rally hui thi 12 May 2007 ko. Khair… ab kia kahain ye qissa purana bo- hot huwa! Ab Sherry koi rock star tou hain nahi k apni album release kar k back with a bang ho jhayen. isliye majbooran unhain America mei Pakistan ki Ambassador hi banna para. Jesa ke everybody knows (we hope) ke wo involved raheen thi Pakistan's Blas- phemy Law ko reform karne mei, jiski waja se unhain religious groups ki mukhali- fat ka saamna karna par raha tha. uske baad wo probably scene se disappear hi hogyi then. Kyun ke, jaan to sbko pyari hoti hai! Us din ke baad se ye Sherry ka news headlines mei aanay ki pehli kaavish hay… aur wo bhi with a big BANG! Ajkal ki most popular po- litical talk 'Memogate' hay jis ki waja se Mr Husain Haqqani ko resignation dena para kyun ke accord- ing to that memo unho ne President Asif Ali Zardari ki ijazat se ye memo Am- reeka bheja or unse madad mangi ke ek military coup wapis bhejein after Osama Bin Ladin was killed on may 2. Husain Haqqani ka kehna hay unse jo records mangey gaye, unhon ne de diye hain. Aur scandal mei kis ne kya kiya, waqt hi bataye ga. Fifty-year-old Ms Sherry Rehman (inki age ka bara charcha horha hai ajkal, to humne socha hum bhi kar- lein zara sa zikar) Federal Information Minister rahi hain PPP government ki aur politics join karne se pehle unhon ne journalism ki field mei bhi kafi teer maray hain, isilye unhon ne government ke media ko pareshan karne ki waja se 2009 mei resign krdia tha, unse zyada media ki tak- leef kon samajh sakta tha. Wo hamesha women aur minority rights ki repre- sentation krti rhi hain. Un- hon ne foreign policy issues mei ek eham role play kiya. Aur khawateen ki reserved seats pe wo National As- sembly mei do dafa elect hochuki hain 2002 aur 2007 mei. Ab pata nahi yar, net pe tou yehi likha hay. Meri kon si chahi ki puttar hay ke muje direct pata ho ga. Prime Minister ke tarju- man ka kehna hay ke Prime Minister sahab Sherry Rehman ko Am- reeki ambassador appoint krne per khush hain. Aur President Zardari bhi boht happy happy hain, unke mutabiq Pak-US relations ko Sherry Rehman jesay independent-minded log hi behtar bana sktay hain. Sherry e kaha ke wo Pak- US relations ko strong ba- nanay aur International forums mei Pakistan ke interests ke liye kaam karengi.Chalain ji let‘s hope so. That is what we can do after all. Nahi? . Letters to Shashca! 3 Filmy Baatain 3 Yar Ye Check Kar 3 Rows 4 Upcoming Event 7 Issue ke andar Sherry Rehman back with a BANG! Issue # 2 16 pages Price: aik smile Qureshi joins PTI By Zunaira Sheikh Sometimes relationships are ended for you to wake up. Jee han, bilkul theek sam- jhay aap. Ye breakup huwa hay Shah Meh- mood Qureshi ka aur Zardari sahib ka. Kuch hi dair baad qureshi sahb hamein parliament house kay samny kuch bol- tay huway dhekai diye tou hum bhi chal paray yeh jan- nay ke liye ke aakhir huwa kia hay. Wo farma rahay thay ke aaj mujhe bohot afsos ho raha hay ke mai apnay rastay PPP se alag kar raha hun jin ke sath mai ne 20 saal guzaray. Aur unhon ne kaha ke President Zardari has diverted from the vision of Benazir Bhutto ye ke Zardari sahib Benazir ki policies ko un ke sath hi dafna chukay hain. He fur- ther said that all those peo- ple can be seen in cabinet who abandoned Benazir Bhutto in her life time. Ab yahan dhekiye ek bar phir Qureshi demand kar- tay nazar aa rahay hain. Unho ne chief justice se ye demand ki hay ke Manzoor Ijaz ke claim pay suo motto action lia jaye that he was handed a memo by President Zardari to be delivered to Admiral Mike Mullen. Nahi ji ye ―suo motto‖ action ka relation ―mota‖ honay se nahi hay. Is ka matlab hota hay ke koi aisa case shuru karna jo ke adaalat apni marzi se kar day, bagher kisi ban- day ki request ke. Shayd isi liye Qureshi sahib ne re- quest karna zaroori samjha is action ke liye. Khair Qureshi sahib khud tou darya mei jump kar hi chukay hain per ab unhain tasalli nahi ho rahi. Ab wo apnay baqi friends ko bhi bula rahay hain aur un say appeal ker rahay hain ke wo bhi resign kar dain aur logon ko decide karnay dain kaun right hay aur kaun wrong. Qureshi said ke mai sab ko recall karva dun ke I was the only district Nazim who rendered his resigna- tion during the tenure of Pervez Musharraf when Faryal Talpur, the sister of President Zardari, was district Nazim of Nawabshah. ―I was also the only district Nazim who did not welcome Pervez Musharraf during the referen- dum,‖ he said and hence proved ke un ki yaddasht bari taiz hay. 27 November ko unho ne aik aur gathering se khi- taab kia aur announce kar dia k wo Pakistan Tehreek e Insaf (PTI) join kar rahay hain. Kafi roz se Nawaz Sharif (jo aaj kal PML-N mei hotay hain) aur Imran Khan (jo PTI ke chairman hain) is taak mei thay ke ye oonth kis karvat bethta hay. Lo ji, aa gaya ye Im- ran bhai ki goad mei! Sharjeel Memon Resigns By Shazia Abid Tujhpe qurban meri jaan, mera dil mera emaan, yaari meri kehti hay yaar pe kardun seat qur- baan! Qurbani, qurbani, qur- bani… Allah ko pyari hy qurbani! You guys must have heard that but the Former Minister of Infor- mation of Sindh, Sharjeel Memon , has proved it right. Sharjeel Memon London tou bohat baar gaye hongay magar London jana unhain kabhi itna mehanga nahi para hoga ke min- istry se hi haath dhona par jaye. Actually, he went to London with the famous Dr Zulfikaar Mirza, which is the violation of PPParty's policy. Sharjeel Memon ka kehna tha ke going London with Dr Zulfikaar Mirza was his personal decision which has nothing to do with party magar Sharjeel sahib, your personal decision has cost you the ministry! President Zardari being the co-chairman of PPP assured the delegation of MQM that disciplinary action would be taken against Memon. Itefaq se Sadar sahab apni baat ke pakkey nikley aur shamat agai Sharjeel Memon sahab ki. London se wa- pas atey hi after meeting with President Zardari, Sharjeel Memon ne apna resignation de diya jo Sadar sahab ke hukum pe accept bhi hogaya. Bhei wah! Dosti ho to aisi! Wo hy na… Ye dosti hum nahi torenge .. chorenge ministry; tera saath na chorenge! Kuch khaas news Peshawar to host Voice of Nation Youth Confer- ence! (Page 3) Rescue Training by Payaam Trust (Page 7) MAD—become an An- droid Guru (Page 3) Comsats Dhuzz! (Page 6) TEDxNUST (Page 7) SMS per ban lagnay wala hay (Page 2) Men say ―I love you‖ more quickly than do women (Page 2) Shashca Dictionary (Page 3) www.dastatic.wordpress.com
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Transcript
By Ammara Junaidi
Han ji ye wohi Sherry Reh-
man hain jo pehlay isi hu-
koomat mei Information
Minister reh chuki hain aur
kafi mashoor politician aur
journalist honay ke sath
sath Pakistan Red Crescent
Society ki Chairperson bhi
hain. Wesay in k i
maqbooliat ka graph chhat
tor kar seedha asmaan ki
taraf tou tab shoot kiya tha
jab adliya bahaali ki muhim
k silsilay mei Karachi mei
aik rally hui thi 12 May
2007 ko. Khair… ab kia
kahain ye qissa purana bo-
hot huwa! Ab Sherry koi
rock star tou hain nahi k
apni album release kar k
back with a bang ho jhayen.
isliye majbooran unhain
America mei Pakistan ki
Ambassador hi banna para.
Jesa ke everybody knows
(we hope) ke wo involved
raheen thi Pakistan's Blas-
phemy Law ko reform karne
mei, jiski waja se unhain
religious groups ki mukhali-
fat ka saamna karna par
raha tha. uske baad wo
probably scene se disappear
hi hogyi then. Kyun ke, jaan
to sbko pyari hoti hai! Us
din ke baad se ye Sherry ka
news headlines mei aanay
ki pehli kaavish hay… aur
wo bhi with a big BANG!
Ajkal ki most popular po-
litical talk 'Memogate' hay
jis ki waja se Mr Husain
Haqqani ko resignation
dena para kyun ke accord-
ing to that memo unho ne
President Asif Ali Zardari
ki ijazat se ye memo Am-
reeka bheja or unse madad
mangi ke ek military coup
wapis bhejein after Osama
Bin Ladin was killed on
may 2. Husain Haqqani ka
kehna hay unse jo records
mangey gaye, unhon ne de
diye hain. Aur scandal mei
kis ne kya kiya, waqt hi
bataye ga.
Fifty-year-old Ms Sherry
Rehman (inki age ka bara
charcha horha hai ajkal, to
humne socha hum bhi kar-
lein zara sa zikar) Federal
Information Minister rahi
hain PPP government ki
aur politics join karne se
pehle unhon ne journalism
ki field mei bhi kafi teer
maray hain, isilye unhon
ne government ke media ko
pareshan karne ki waja se
2009 mei resign krdia tha,
unse zyada media ki tak-
leef kon samajh sakta tha.
Wo hamesha women aur
minority rights ki repre-
sentation krti rhi hain. Un-
hon ne foreign policy issues
mei ek eham role play kiya.
Aur khawateen ki reserved
seats pe wo National As-
sembly mei do dafa elect
hochuki hain 2002 aur
2007 mei. Ab pata nahi
yar, net pe tou yehi likha
hay. Meri kon si chahi ki
puttar hay ke muje direct
pata ho ga.
Prime Minister ke tarju-
man ka kehna hay ke
Prime Minister sahab
Sherry Rehman ko Am-
reeki ambassador appoint
krne per khush hain. Aur
President Zardari bhi boht
happy happy hain, unke
mutabiq Pak-US relations
ko Sherry Rehman jesay
independent-minded log hi
behtar bana sktay hain.
Sherry e kaha ke wo Pak-
US relations ko strong ba-
nanay aur International
forums mei Pakistan ke
interests ke liye kaam
karengi.Chalain ji let‘s
hope so. That is what we
can do after all. Nahi?
.
Letters to Shashca! 3
Filmy Baatain 3
Yar Ye Check Kar 3
Rows 4
Upcoming Event 7
Issue ke andar Sherry Rehman back with a BANG!
Issue # 2 16 pages Price: aik smile
Qureshi joins PTI By Zunaira Sheikh
Sometimes relationships
are ended for you to wake
up.
Jee han, bilkul theek sam-
jhay aap. Ye breakup huwa
hay Shah Meh-
mood Qureshi
ka aur Zardari
sahib ka.
Kuch hi dair
baad qureshi
sahb hamein
p a r l i a m e n t
h o u s e k a y
samny kuch bol-
t a y h u w a y
dhekai diye tou
hum bhi chal
paray yeh jan-
nay ke liye ke
aakhir huwa kia
hay. Wo farma
rahay thay ke
aaj mujhe bohot afsos ho
raha hay ke mai apnay
rastay PPP se alag kar raha
hun jin ke sath mai ne 20
saal guzaray. Aur unhon ne
kaha ke President Zardari
has diverted from the vision
of Benazir Bhutto ye ke
Zardari sahib Benazir ki
policies ko un ke sath hi
dafna chukay hain. He fur-
ther said that all those peo-
ple can be seen in cabinet
who abandoned Benazir
Bhutto in her life time.
Ab yahan dhekiye ek bar
phir Qureshi demand kar-
tay nazar aa rahay hain.
Unho ne chief justice se ye
demand ki hay ke Manzoor
Ijaz ke claim pay suo
motto action lia jaye that
he was handed a memo by
President Zardari to be
delivered to Admiral Mike
Mullen. Nahi ji ye ―suo
motto‖ action ka relation
―mota‖ honay se nahi hay.
Is ka matlab hota hay ke
koi aisa case shuru karna
jo ke adaalat apni marzi se
kar day, bagher kisi ban-
day ki request ke. Shayd isi
liye Qureshi sahib ne re-
quest karna zaroori samjha
is action ke liye.
Khair Qureshi sahib khud
tou darya mei jump kar hi
chukay hain per ab unhain
tasalli nahi ho rahi. Ab wo
apnay baqi friends ko bhi
bula rahay hain aur un say
appeal ker rahay hain ke
wo bhi resign kar dain aur
logon ko decide karnay
dain kaun right hay aur
kaun wrong.
Qureshi said ke mai
sab ko recall karva
dun ke I was the only
district Nazim who
rendered his resigna-
tion during the tenure
of Pervez Musharraf
when Faryal Talpur,
the sister of President
Zardari, was district
Nazim of Nawabshah.
―I was also the only
district Nazim who
did not welcome
Pervez Musharraf
during the referen-
dum,‖ he said and
hence proved ke un ki
yaddasht bari taiz
hay.
27 November ko unho ne
aik aur gathering se khi-
taab kia aur announce kar
dia k wo Pakistan Tehreek
e Insaf (PTI) join kar rahay
hain. Kafi roz se Nawaz
Sharif (jo aaj kal PML-N
mei hotay hain) aur Imran
Khan (jo PTI ke chairman
hain) is taak mei thay ke
ye oonth kis karvat bethta
hay. Lo ji, aa gaya ye Im-
ran bhai ki goad mei!
Sharjeel Memon
Resigns By Shazia Abid
Tujhpe qurban meri jaan, mera
dil mera emaan, yaari meri kehti
hay yaar pe kardun seat qur-
baan! Qurbani, qurbani, qur-
bani… Allah ko pyari hy qurbani!
You guys must have heard that
but the Former Minister of Infor-
mation of Sindh, Sharjeel
Memon , has proved it right.
Sharjeel Memon London tou
bohat baar gaye hongay magar
London jana unhain kabhi itna
mehanga nahi para hoga ke min-
istry se hi haath dhona par jaye.
Actually, he went to London with
the famous Dr Zulfikaar Mirza,
which is the violation of
PPParty's policy.
Sharjeel Memon ka kehna tha ke
going London with Dr Zulfikaar
Mirza was his personal decision
which has nothing to do with
party magar Sharjeel sahib, your
personal decision has cost you
the ministry! President Zardari
being the co-chairman of PPP
assured the delegation of MQM
that disciplinary action would be
taken against Memon. Itefaq se
Sadar sahab apni baat ke pakkey
nikley aur shamat agai Sharjeel
Memon sahab ki. London se wa-
pas atey hi after meeting with
President Zardari, Sharjeel
Memon ne apna resignation de
diya jo Sadar sahab ke hukum pe
accept bhi hogaya. Bhei wah!
Dosti ho to aisi! Wo hy na… Ye
dosti hum nahi torenge ..
chorenge ministry; tera saath na
chorenge!
Kuch khaas news
Peshawar to host Voice
of Nation Youth Confer-
ence!
(Page 3)
Rescue Training by
Payaam Trust
(Page 7)
MAD—become an An-
droid Guru
(Page 3)
Comsats Dhuzz!
(Page 6)
TEDxNUST
(Page 7)
SMS per ban lagnay
wala hay
(Page 2)
Men say ―I love you‖
more quickly than do
women
(Page 2)
Shashca Dictionary
(Page 3)
www.dastatic.wordpress.com
ing ―F word‖ (samjh to gaye hi hounge
aap), ―Jesus Christ‖ and so on. Even if
you have a friend named ―Butt‖, you
can't message his name. Bolay to Butt
By Shazia Abid
Aaj tak aap ne ye tou bohat
suna hoga ke mun sambhaal k
baat karo, magar thanks to our
government jis ne tabdeeli
lanay ka faisla kar lia hay. Ye
phrase ab change hokar jald hi
―haath sambhaal ke type karo‖
hojaye ga!
Government has decided to
implement a rule jis mein text
messages mei use honay walay
kafi saaray words pe ban laga
dia jaye ga. In words mei bohat
se aise words shaamil hain
jinhe hum bohat casually use
kartey hain.
These words include ―tongue‖,
―athlete‘s foot‖, all sentences contain-
sahab ko Butt sahab kehna bhi jurm
hay. Chalo acha hay, ab ―aik
dafa aik Butt tha‖ walay
messages se tou jaan chuttay
gi!
A Christian MPA protested
in Sindh Assembly over the
ban of the word ―Jesus
Christ‖ ke how will they
wish Christmas now? Is our
goverment trying to deprive
the christians from their reli-
gious rights? What about our
freedom of speech? Is this
democracy? Lo tou call kar
ke kar do bhai wish. Is mei
aisi kon si pareshani ki baat
hay. Aur jahan tak question hay De-
mocracy ke, tou wo tou revenge hay
na bhai. Revenge mei tou ab aisay hi
hota hay.
Oye haath sambhaal ke!
SMS per ban lagnay wala hay!
Khatray ki ghanti investor tapak hi paray.
Positive signs bhi nazar nahi aa rahay.
Aray, aray! Vital Signs nahi bola jo khush
ho rahay hain ap. Yahan baat ho rahi hay
IMF se loan ki. Fast out flow on debt ser-
vicing aur current account ne hi problem
create ker rakhay hain. Ab tou halaat yehi
ho gaye hain ke the economy is so bad,
people are standing behind George Bush
wherever he goes hoping for free shoes.
Ek aur ghanti bajti nazar aa rahi hay hu-
main yahan per. Kia? Apko awaz bhi aa
rahi hay? Ji wo hay decline in FDI. Nahi
nahi, ye ―Faaltu Da Ilmiya‖ nahi hay. FDI
hay Foreign Direct Investment.
Muhammad Sohail, CEO of Topline Secu-
rities, ko dheko. Dheko zara kia bol rahay
hain. Nahi, dheko nahi. Parho zara ab.
―The deficit is higher than our expecta-
tions. They may affect value of Pakistani
rupee once the central bank stops support-
ing the local currency.‖ He further said
that higher current account deficit will
also compel State Bank to carefully evalu-
ate the policy interest rate decision‖ oho
pappu yar tang na ker ab esay bol ker.
At last local currency apna relation U.S.
dollar ke sath banay mei kaamyab hoti
nazar aa rahi hay, last one and a half year
se. Aur is kamyabi ke peechay guess what
kis ka hath hay? Ji han, State Bank ka! Ap
kia smjhy? Iski reason ye bhi hay, current
account surplus in fiscal year 2011.
By Zunaira Sheikh
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself
at the ground and miss."
Kisi nay flying ko learnig bola hay per
yahan tou kuch aur hi nazar aa raha hay.
Zara ghaur se dhekiye. Ji bayshak glasses
laga lain, humein koi objection nahi. Paki-
stan ko is baar phelay say bhi 3 times
ziada deficit face karna para hay current
accounts mei jo ke hurdles ki taraf hi is-
hara kar raha hay. Bhai hurdles ki taraf
isharay ka bola hay, aap kahan dekh ra-
hay hain. Wapis aa jayen aur agay per-
hain zara aur janiye aur.
According to State Bank (yeh koi insan
nahi hay, Bank hi hay jo insano se chalta
hay, aur actually ye unhon ne hi yeh
btaya hay ke) this time current account
defict reached to 2 percent, jab ke last
year it was just 8 percent. Lagta hay ye
shayad isi liye bola gaya hay ―if you fail to
prepare, then prepare to fail‖.
Khair ab itni bhi horrible baat nahi hay
ye, kyun ke picture abhi baqi hay! Aur us
picture ka aik secne ye bhi hay ke 24 per-
cent remittances being send by overseas
Pakistanis are still higher. Chalo ab ba-
jaoo taalian iss baat per.
Ab ek nazar trade per. Suna hay ke yahan
bhi muasam kharab hi hay last four
months se. Aur tou aur foreign investment
bhi almost negligible ho chuki hay, 180
millions Pakistani economy ke liye. Chalo
sab gaana gao phir ―kaalay megha, kaalay
megha, paani tou barsaao‖. Shayed koi
Kitnay aadmi thay? hay. Who can forget Miandad‘s fa-
Labs. Bringing insight to the ever growing field of
Android development MAD is your guide towards
becoming android guru.
Inki pehli workshop organize hui thi FAST
(NUCES) Islamabad mei, jo ke bohot bari success
thi. Ye workshop hui thi 26 aur 27 November, 2011
ko. In ka mazeed irada hay workshops arrange kar-
nay ka mulk ke doosray institutions mei bhi. Jald
hi, inshaAllah, ―MAD—Become Android Guru‖ ap k
institute mei bhi aa raha hay, aur aap ko bhi
mauqa day raha hay ke aap android ke guru ban
sakain.
Chuss (chus)
noun
Chuss matlab chuss. Yani ke chuss. Bus ye jo mai ne
abhi maari hay na, is ko boltay hain chuss. Means ke
chuss. Jo bilkul hi ehmaqaana aur bekaar joke ho na,
usko boltay hain chuss. For example, “yar tu ne chuss
maarnay ki aadat nahi chori.” Ab tou samajh aa gai
na? Kia? Ab bhi nahi aai? Bus phir ye word aap ke
level k nahi hay. Aap is ko na hi seekhnay ki try
karain tou behtar hay.
Shashca Dictionary
Sawal Gonglo jawab Aalo
By Habib Ahmed Noor
Jab Ek Semester mein counseler laga dia gia, tu students k nit naye roop daikhnay ko milay, haftay ki training kerni pari psychotherapy mein, phir jaa kar class counselor banay,… pehlay chand din tu student
ki khichai kertay rahay keh yeh course uthao yeh nah uthao,… phir achanak hi ajeeb ajeeb case anay lagay,… aik shahzada ghamzada chahra liay aya aur
bola "sir maamla bara serious hai, aap ki help shelp chahyay",… Hum nay kaha baitho beta, batao attendance short ho gai,.. wo bolay,… ―nahi sir‖, phir,…
―sir woh‖ ,.. phir kahmosh ho gaya,.. Bacha Tension mein tha, Hum nay aik Waldana nazar maari, aur Hamari hiss e sherlock holmes (spider sense) pharki,
hath mein majood mobile k key- pad mitay hoay thay (Excessive Chatting, or behan ka hai), uss k pass Teen Moti Kitabain thi (Parhako, yah wait
lifter), garden k pichlay hissay peh mail (mama k ghar mein nahi rahta, hostel), balloon mein Gell, Nakhun Kattay hoay, aur one man show ki halki smell
(weird Clean Hostel Kid), hath mein teen pen , one with Gulabi color (zanana pen), purani jeans naya belt, naya sweater purani shirt (Outlook Matters).
Chatting, Parhako bacha, Hos- telized laiken saaf, Gulabi Pen, Naya belt, aur one man show, tabiat se bhi dheela dheela sa tha, face bhi peela sa tha, coclu-
sion: maamla SHEELA ka tha, …
bachay ka dil toota tha, third semester tha,… ussi waqt hamara naib qasid meray liay samosay liay hazir hoa,… hum nay aik samosa shahzaday ko dia,…
aur woh baichara itna mash- koor hoa, keh kahani uss nay uni k pehlay din se shuru ker di,… (Shukar hai Paidaish se nahi start kia),… sir hamari dosti
pehli baar library mein hoi (Best Hunting point for Newtons), phir ham dono group k saath study kertay (matlab, bachi ki assignmentain), aur baat agay
barhi (mazeed Asignmentain), Group mein aur bhi larkiyan thi laiken uss nay sab se pehlay number dia (Andah [assignment] dainay walay murghay per
qabza strategy), rozana mes- saging, miss calls (Murghay ko dana dala ja raha tha), Imtihan mein seat allocation plan kertay thay (backup plan), Phir
doosray semester se laraiyan honay lagi ( raqeeb ki entry), abh tu who message ka reply bhi dair se kerti hai, aur zayada tar abdul Qadoos (Raqeeb ) k
saath hoti hai, I am very tensed, sir kia karoon.
Maamla nazuk tha, iss liay iss ko bari nazakat se handle kernay ki zaroorat thi,… hum nay poocha keh mosoofa kon hain tu hazrat nay kaha, sir woh jo
thori dair pehlay BBA ki madam k saath khari thi,…
foran hi hum nay apni photo- graphic memory ko thora khangala tu madam k saath aik gandami color ki Kurri ki shabahat samnay aye (Abh engineering
mein Katrina tu aanay se rahi), madam bhi nai nai aaye hoi thi,… aur maamlay mein dono taraf k halaat jannana zaroori thay,… Chunache hum nay bachay
ko tasali di aur kaha keh doosri taraf ki story ka patah kertay hain, and he should put all his efforts on parhai, ussay dilasa day ker kalti kia,…
Seat per baitha iss mamlay per ghoor kernay laga, shahzaday ki batain devdas ki film ki tarah chal rahi thi, keh madam k zikar per film stop hoi, aur aik aur
film chal pari,… (papa papaan - papa papaan- pa papa paa papapaan)
Halkay se uth kar shirt mein kaffal dalay, nichli daraz se nayi khushbo nikal ker lagai aur madam k pass puhanchay,… unn se guzarish ki keh aap k stu-
dent k baray mein kuch impor- tant discussion kerni hai,… unhoon nay muskara ker tajassus ka izhar kia (student k baray mein yah,… ), ….. hum nay arz
ki mamlay ko raaz mein rakhna zaroori hai,… tu kissi munasib jagah ka mashwara dejyay,… muhtarma nay bahar baat kernay ka mashwara dia,… hum nay
hami bhar di laiken, Parda daari bhi zaroori thi, is liay bahana banaya keh abhi thori dair pehlay chai pee hai tu café tu nahi,… Unhoon nay poocha phir kahan,… zehan abhi tak bachay ki baton mein uljha hoa
tha,… unhi mein se aik baat meray kanoon mein goonji, ―Sir Ham pehli baar Library mein milay thay‖, Idea ka Philip bulb chamka aur hum nay mashwara dia keh library se kuch kitabain laini hain, kia kha-
behtar rahay gah, aur sunyay jaldi ayay gah office mein kuch kaam hai (matlab keh hamain intezaar ki aadat nahi), hum nay arz ki keh masroof tu ham bhi hai laiken abh maamla kuch serious nazar aa raha
hai,.... yeh keh ker hum office aaye, computer per FB update ki, "Jo Doosron ki Madad Kerta hai, Allah Uss ki Madad kerta hai..." aur kuch dair baad zehan mein naye azam liay library ki simt ho liay,… :)
Ustaadiyan
Shashca Rows (not columns)
Ghayab Dimaghi
By Anas Shafqat
Waise tou meri Urdu itni laaiq nae hai, lekin khair, main aap ki khidmat main Neem-Hakeem Kahaniyan paish karta hoon. Aap zarur soch rahein honge kay maine apne
kaalam ka bara hee ajeeb naam rakha hai. Iss se pehle ke aap, apna qeemti waqt ye baat sochne main guzar dein ke aakhir maine ye naam kyun rakha hai, main khudi iss
ki wajah hazir kardeta hun.
Iss naam ki takhleeq main eik buhat hee maqbool kahawat ne hisa liya hai - jo kay hai "Neem hakeem, moozoon elaaj." Aur, choonkay main khud abhi MBBS ka shagird
hun, tou agar mujhe neem-hakeem ke naam se pukara jaaye tou galat nae hoga. Main hua neem hakeem, aur iss kaalam main mere fazool qism ke qisay; chunachay, in
dono ki ishtaraq se banta hai iss kaalam ka ajeeb naam "Neem Hakeem Kahaniyan."
Amoman, hum neem hakeem, yaani key daakter bannay ki chaah rakhne waale, kisi had tak gayab dimagh hote hain (shukar hai, daakter bannay ke baad ye saari gayab
dimaghi khatam hojati hai). Moti, moti kitabein parh kar humare waise hi tootay urr jaatay hain, tou jab koi mushkil aakar humse takraati hai ... hum, afsos, gayab di-
Soorat-e-haal: Eik boorhi aurat ko unki gaadi tak lay jaana hay. Ghar ke bahir barsaat ki wajah se paani jama hua hai.Un aurat ki gaadi sehan main kharhi hai, aur meri
gaadi paani ki grift se bahir hai aur kahin aagay kharhi hai.
Hal # 1 - Un boorhi aurat ko unki gaadi main bitha kay, pani main se eik pathar se doosray pathar tak uchal uchal kar, bheeg bheeg kar, bari mushkil dekh kar apni gaadi
tak pohnchun.
Hal # 2 - Apni gaadi bhi sehan main laga dun.
Aap zarur samjh hee gaye hongay iss gayab-dimagh neem-hakeem ne konsa hal tajweez kiya hoga.
Neem-hakeem kahaniyan
By Aadil Aijaz
Janaab, ye jo insaan hai na, ye kisi computer se kamm nahin. Ye wohi karta hai jo isay bola jaata hai. Bas, ye zara alag tarah se istemaal kiya jata hai. Aisa hamaray saath kayi baar hota hai ke kuch so-called
friends hamaara fayeda uthaatay hen aur humain pata bhi nahin chalta. Bas, insaan mein yehi ek kharaabi hai. Hum apne aap ko tou bohat achi tarah se jaantay hain, lekin
kamzoriyon par qaabu paana nahin seekhtay. Computers mein tou anti-virus hotay hen, jo bataatay hain ke bhai ye file khatarnaak hai, iski vaat lagaani paregi. Lekin real
life mein koi aisi cheez nahin hoti jis se pata chalay ke kis admi ki dosti achi hai aur kis admi ki fake.
Bachpan mein hamaari hazaaron khwaahishen hoti hen, ke janaab bara ho kar ye karuun ga, woh karuun ga. Lekin society hamaaray dimaagh ko iss tarah brainwash karti
hai ke humain apne ilaawa kuch bhi dikhaayi nahin deta. Society na sirf hamaari khwaahishaat ko radd karti hai, balkay humaari soch ko bhi tabdeel kar deti hai. Hum
drive kartay waqt seatbelt nahin baandhtay kyunke log hanstay hain. Hum red light par nahin ruktay kyunke humaari soch ke mutaabiq traffic rules tou shareef aur
mummy-daddy type ke log hi follow kartay hain. Hum road par gundd phainktay hain. Deewaaron par fazool se 'gangsters' ke naam spray-paint kartay hain. Press clubs ke
baahir ki dee- waaron par 'home tuition' ke ishtehaar lagaatay hen. Aur phir apnay politicians ko bhi gaaliyan detay hain. Kya aaj tak ye sab karnay se mulk mein koi tab-
deeli ayi? Na- heen. Agar aap khud qanoon ka ehtiraam nahin kartay aur phir hukoomat ko blame kartay hain, tou I'm sorry to say, yeh munaafiqat hai.
Tou sawaal yeh hai ke soch kaisay tabdeel ki jaye? Mayoosi kisi problem ka solution nahin hai. Agar humain logon ki soch ko tabdeel karna hai tou pehlay apni soch ko
badalna hoga. Agar koi larka university ka entry test denay ja raha hai, tou usay ye bolnay ke bajaye ke "Yaar yahaan tou bara mushkil test aata hai," aap ye bolain ke
"Inshallah tum- hara admission ho jayega." Iss se na sirf us ki soch mein positivity paida hogi, balkay woh test detay waqt nervous bhi nahin hoga. Lekin agar aap usko dis-
courage aur de- moralize karo gay, tou uss ke nataaij na-gavaar ho saktay hen. You get the idea. Humain apni society mein positive soch ko revive karna hai, aur negativity
ko qatal karna hai.
Y e m u l k hamaara hai aur isay hum hi tabdeel kar saktay hain. Koi baahar se farishta nahin aye ga. Hum youth hain. Hum 'jawaan khoon' hain. Hamaari raggon
mein Pakistani jazba daurta hai. Tou kyun na hum chotay chotay achay kaamon se shuruaat karain, aur ek silent revolution le ayen!
Yeh meri zindagi ka pehla column hai. Iski wajah sahlaiyat na honay ki nahi hai balkay kisi baray duniya waseelay ki pusht pe honay ki kami hai. Umeed hai aab yeh safar , engraizi wala suffer nahi banay ga
aur mera aur shashca ka saath lambay arsay pe muheet hoga.
yeh naam ―11th hour‖ ka inteekhab maine is liyeh kiya kyun kay English ka aik bara mashoor phrase hai ―at the 11th hour‖ jis ka urdu mai mafhoom ―akhri lamhay pe‖ banta hai. bahaisiyat-e-qaum hum aj
tak waqt ki sarghoshi ko samajh nahi payee aur abhi tak zindagi kay bunyadii masloon mai hi atkay huwe hain.. aur hum is hudh tak sust hain kay har kaam kay liyeh akhri lamhay ka intezaar kertay hain
jab tak kay who hamare sar pen a par jayeh hum usay saranjaam dyne ki bilkul bhi koshish nahi kertay. hamara tou abhi tak ―roti, kapra aur makan‖ ka naara hi sirf lafzoon tak mehdood hai jab kay asli
tasweer biklul iskay baraks hai. duniya chand pe pohanch gai hai aur jo nahi pohanchi who zameen kay ird gird hi koi dursa roshan sayara dhoondhnay ki justuju mai hai par khair hum tou sab pe bazi lag gaye
hain kyn har tehwaar pe hamare haan aik nahi dou chand hotay hain. Aur aawaam parishan kay kiski manay aur kiski na manay. Hum tou woh hain kay jab jhaamoriyaat hoti hai tou hamain aamriyaat ki
yaad satati hai aur jab aamriyat hiti hai tou jhamooriyat kaay liyeh bechain huwe hotay hain. Baat taleem ki hoti hai tou hum GDP, taleem kay elawa sab pe kharch karte hain aur is tarah zaheen or sarghoshi-
e-waqt ko samajhnay ka dawa kartay hain. Hamari qaom pe waqfay waqfay se aik junoon sawaar hota hai aur phir tou hamara koi muqabla nahi ker sakta us mai. Kabhi mobile ka tou kabhi kisi khail ka,
kabhi kaprun ka aur kabhi kisi aur cheez ka. Is sab mai bazi cricket ka khel hi lay jata hai. Laikin afsoos is dafah hamari team kay 3 naujawanun nay pori qaum ka jazbaat ko chand paisun ki khatir dao pe
laga diya aur hamare sar sharam se jhuka diye. England ki jail mai saathi qaidiun kay sawal pe kay aapko kis jurm mai andar kiya hai jo jawab mila hoga us nay unhain bhi hairan ker diya hoga.. faqat ―no
ball‖ karanay pe!! Aur yahan muqami jail kay qaidi soch mai hoon gay kay mujrim tou who bhi hain aur hum bhi per unkay naseeb mai England ka jail aur hamare mai Kot lakhpatt!! Isay kehtay hain Naseeb
apna apna!! Inhee naujawanu mai Ali moen nawazish jese log bhi hain aur Asif, Salman, aur Aamir jese. Kehnay ko who becharay kimat kay baray hain laikin khair kismet kay maray hum sab hi hain . Paki-
stan mai kismet kay maray sab hotay hain siwayeh unkay jo hukumat main hoon!! Khair is waqt mulk ki fizza mai sirf siyasat hi siyasat hai aur yeh pehlay drawing room tak mehdood thi ab hamare kitchens
aur bedrooms ko bht ghair chuki hai. Hal tou kisi cheez ka niklata hi nahi hai. 64 baras se hum isi la-hasil ki jang mai uljhay huwe hain aur baar baar azmaye huwun ko aazmanay mai lagay hain.. khair
umeed pay duniya qayam hai! Aur kuch logun ki tou duniya hi umeed hoti hai
Lo ji, Aj mai ne ‗Shashca‘ k duusre edition main ‗As a columnist‘ apna debut kar hi lia. Chuunke pehli baar ‗shashca‘ main kuch likhne ja raha huun, tou short sa taaruf tou mera
banta hi hai… Naam hai mera ‗ALI‘, Halaat-e-hazra pay nazar hai ‗changi BHALLI‘, Puhanch gaya hoon University k final year main ‗FINALLY‘, Aur jab Shashcay ki news facebook
par ‗CHALLI‘, jiska target hai youth ‗SPECIFICALLY‘, tou contribute karna hi para is main ‗AUTOMATICALLY‘.
Tou ji readers, qaafion ki is zabardasti ki matching k baad ab tazkara kuch ‗Cool Dudes‘ ka…. Arre nai, main khud ko hargiz cool nahi kehraha balke main tou ‗Coolness‘ ki
us bemari ki baat kar raha hoon jo k aaj kal school se le kar university tak k maximum youngsters main phel chuki hai, balke yuun kehlen tou baja hoga k, ab bacha bolna baad
main seekhta hai aur us main cool (kewl) ban‘ne ka shauq pehle peda hojata hai… Jesa k aapko pata hai k har bemari k kuch ‗symptoms‘ hote hain, yekaeenan is bemari k bhi
hain… Tou jab kabhi apko koi aisa youngster mille k jis ne ‗Murghi ki Kalghi‘ ki tarah apne baal uthae hon (Jinhe coolness ki language main ‗spikes‘ kehte hain), ya koi aisa k jis ki
ghissi pitti jeans ki pant ne bamushkil uski kamar ko pakra ho aur utri hi chahti ho, tou jaan len k us youngster ko yehi aarza lahiq hai…
Larkio, tum log hargiz bore na ho. Yakeenan tumhara tazkara bhi hai mere column main. Tou jese koi bhi bemaari ‗gender‘ dekh kar tou hamla karti nai, yehi haal hai is
coolness ka bhi. Ji haan, sahi pehchane, larkian bhi utna hi affected hain is se, jitna k larke. Tou jab kabhi aapko koi larki, kaanon main ‗Headphones‘ thonse, aur apne muun se
bari glasses pehne nazar aae tou jaan len k coolness k jaraseem yahan bhi pae jaate hain.
Yehi nahi, is marz k asrat ab social networking sites par bhi phel chuke hain. Larke jo aik saal pehle tak football ki alif,bay se waqif na the, coolness ki is daur main ab
‗Champions League‘ k har match result ko apne status main update karna farz-e-ain samajhte hain. Sath hi sath apni favorite team k rivals ki ‗slang words‘ main hosla afzai karna
bhi ab maamool hai.
80ssi 90way kesay Sau(100)?
By Rabia Islam
Aap bhi meri tarah is baat se achi tarah waqif hongey k yeh dunya bari be-qadar hai..Yahan tou kisi k talent kee qadar hee nahi hoti.. humari misaal hee le lo! Abb hum hai hee itne talented k bs na hee poocho
tou achaa hai lekin phir bhi jaankari k liye baata detein hai k hum intehai intelligent, punctual, hardworking, skilled aur smart hai.. Waisay yeh hum nahi kehte yeh tou saari
dunyaa kehti hai aur yeh column parhne k baat aap bhi kahengey... Haan tou baat ho rahee thee talent kee, humare talent kee qadar kisi aur ne nahi kee tou na sahee, hum
jaisey lagon k liye abb Shashca agaya hai naa!
Chalo ab kaam kee baat kar- tay hai. Likhne ka shouq tou humein junoon kee had tak hai lekin jab likhne kaa waqt ataa hi tou humara dimagh aisay blank hojata hai jesay
math ka paper.Rukiye janab kahee aap yeh tou nahi soch rahey k hum likh nahi saktein! Hum likhtein bhi hai aur wo bhi boht alaa.
Ab jab baat aayee Shashca k liye likhne kee phir tou jesay dunyaa mein koi subject baaqi hee na rahaa jis pe kuch likha jaayein. Dimagh ko boht durayaa lekin kambakht kuch
na soojhaa! Humare aur saathiyon kee surat-e-haal bhi kuch mukhtalif na hogee. Wo bhi yahee sochtein hongay k kuch aisa likha jaayein k bss humara hee rang Shashca
par chaa jaayein lekin bhai yeh itnaa asaan tori hai. Aab tou aur bhi zyada mehnat karni pareygee kyunki youth kee shaan ka sawaal hai janab.. Is se pehle k aap humare col-
umn ko aik boring piece of writing tasawur karein tou hum aapko bata de k yeh boring woring nahi balkay aapkee faide hee kee baat hai.. Ab aap khud sochiye meri baatein
parh kar aapko kitna faida huwa aur apne talent se shanasa huwe aur shayed ab aap hee mein se koi agey bar kar Shashca ka hisa baney tou hai na maze kee baat! Rahee
baat moojada columnist kee tou unhein yeh bata thi chalun k lambe lambe column likhne kee koi zarurat nahi, likhna hai tou kuch aisa likho k parh kar maza aajaaye. Mujhe
tou bara achaa lag raha hai k mein apni dimaghi surat e haal apse share kar rahee hun aur agli baar agar zindagi rahee tou aisa dilchasp aur shandar column likhungee k bs
Acha to yaar banni chowk k nam se pareshan nhe hna , Pindi-Isbd me rehne wale yaqinan ye soch rhe hnge k me yahan koi khane peenay ki recipes btane wala hun,,,haha ,naheen yara esa hargiz nhe
hai,,,,abi kuh din pehle ki he bat hai mere dost ne mjhe kaha k yaar Shashca start ho rha hai us k lie kuch likhna hai tumne,,upar se ye k usne format bta k dil me thand he dal di k minglish and slang. Mein
ne kaha ajao badshao. Phir mene socha k topic kuch spicy, cultural and bht sare topics ka mixture hna chaye,,,ye sochte he mere zehan me banni chowk ka nam agya, wase ye banni chowk ki khasiat b hai k is
k ass pass bht se cheezon ka mixture milega jase,,,khane peenay ki shops,,,masala jaat ki shops,,karyana ki shop (manzoor pansari to sbse he zyada
mashoor hai) aur mazeed ye k chingcheee ki bhar mar aur mukhtalif mash- roobat ki dukaanein hain…..acha anyways aik aur wajah ye b hai k me khud b udhar
kafi arsa rehta rha hun ,,haha,,ye to tha kuch sort of introduction type cheez….
Acha janab jub me qadre chota tha to meri Ammi aksar bazar ka sauda mjh se he mangwaya kartie thein sath he ye taakeed karti thein k beta K SABZI WALI
dukan pe rate list parh k sabzi lena,,par hamesha yahe hta k jo b me sauda lata tha wo rate list 1.5 guna zayada he hta tha,,mere pochne pe dukan wala kehta tha
k lena hai to lelo,, bachpan me to ye tasali mere dil ko behla deti the k jub me bara hunga to me us dukan wale k chungal me nhe aonga aur jo rate huga uspe he
sauda launga,,,acha ub sunye zara ub jub me dukan se ub sauda lene jata hun aur agar kbi rate list dekhna meri tabyat pe garan guzre to us rate k difference ko
maloze khatir nhe lata k yaar chalo na to 10 rupay se ye ameer hojaega na me ghareeb hojaega,,,agr ap sirf itni se example pe he intensely focus karein to apko
society ki bari bari corruption ki wajah samajh ajaege,,,,ap heraan hnge k kese,me apko smjhata hun,,,jub me ne sirf is sabzi wali example pe ghor kia to me ne
socha k agar aik sabzi wala he har kharidar se 5-10 rupe extra leta hai ,,aur din me agar usk pass 100 kharidar ate hain to wo aik din me kam az kam 1000 rupay
ki corruption karjata hai,isi tarah CNG STATIONS par 1-2 rupay ki gas kam bharna ya khule nah ne k bhane 5-10 rupay wapis na karna,aur isi tarah CNG sta-
tions wale b roz sham ko kitne he paisay najaiz tor par ghar le k jate hain,,aur hamara ye sochna k yar kuch nhe hta ye ameer nhe hojaega na me ghareeb
hojaega bht he afsoos nak cheez hai,,,isi tarah jub corporate level pe kisi pro- jet ya kisi import bill pe corruption hti hai to wo b har individual Pakistani ko kuch na
kuch affect karti hai,, corruption karne ka subse behtar tareka he yahe hai k subse thora thora nikal wao ta k kisi k notice me bat na aye bajae iske k kisi aik se
sub kuch nikal wao,,to mera is tarf bat krne ka maksad he yahe tha k asal corruption hamari society k andar chupi hui hai aur uspar hum na smjhi yak am akli
ki bunyad par dhool dalte rehte hain k ye to koi bara masla nhe,,,acha subse maze ki bat ye hai k agar kbi hamein koi shakhs isi social corruption jese CNG ya
sabzi issue pe dukandar se larta hua nazar aye to hamari he izzat dar society ki aik class us larne wale shaks ko bewakoof aur jhagralo smjhti hai,,,to bat karne ka
maksad sirf yahe tha k us corruption ko roka jae jo katra katra ban kar aik samandar bnjati hai aur affected logo ko koi fark he nhe parta,,aur jub tak hum apni
society me he corruption se aware nhe hnge to bare bare namzad magarmach ka shikar kese kareinge.,,,,milte hain phir phir kabhi kisi aur topic k sath……