SFC-HHT-Manual-2011.pdf

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CFC- Singles for Christ

Leaders Track

Household Heads Training Manual v. 2011

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CFC-SINGLES FOR CHRIST

HOUSEHOLD HEADS TRAINING (HHT)

About the Training

This training is catered for SFC discerned leaders who have finished at least the following:

Covenant Orientation Weekend, Christian Character Weekend, Evangelization Training,

Facilitators Training, Tongues Workshop.

This training has the following goals:

1. Equip the household heads with the knowledge and skills they will need as household

heads

2. Educate the household heads on their roles and responsibilities as well as the culture

they should help build in their areas as household heads

3. Empower the household heads to carry out their anointed role relying on the grace of

God and the power of the Holy Spirit

Sessions:

A.1. Household Heads Orientation (HHO)

1. Being a servant

2. The household: purpose, dynamics and leadership

3. Building relationships (combination of talks 3 & 4)

4. Evaluation

5. Zeal and single-mindedness for God

A.2. Household Heads Orientation Workshops

1. How to lead worship

2. How to give a talk

3. How to conduct one on ones

B. Household Heads Teaching Series (HHT)

1. Good Example

2. Brotherly love and evangelistic headship

3. Encouragement and correction

4. Prayer and intercession

5. Faith in God and humble leadership

Qualifications for new Household Leaders

• He or she must be an active member of SFC for at least a year.

• He or she must have at least experienced being a CLP facilitator.

• He or she must have attended already the Covenant Orientation (CO) Weekend and the

Christian Character Weekend (CCW), the Facilitators Training, Evangelization Training,

and the Tongues Workshop.

Conduct of HLT

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• The HLT is to be conducted by the different SFC clusters.

• The HLT has two parts: Part 1 - Household Heads Orientation and Workshops (HHO),

and Part 2 - Household Heads Teaching Series (HHTS).

• The Household Heads Orientation (HHO), consisting of five talks, is given in one session

prior to the household leaders assuming their positions. The HHO Workshops may be

included in the same session or they can be done separately.

• The Household Heads Teaching Series (HHTs) is composed of 5 talks. Ideally, these are

to be given in 5 separate monthly sessions. Thus the whole HHT will be completed in

less than a year.

• To conserve resources, especially since the household leaders of a particular chapter

would be on different activities during the year, it is recommended that the HHT be

conducted on a cluster basis, with the SFC Cluster Head being the organizer.

• The SFC Chapter Heads will be the service team together with the SFC Unit Heads to

facilitate more leaders’ interaction within the cluster.

Suggested format of the HHO

Whole Day:

8:00 am Arrival & Registration

8:30 Opening Worship

8:45 Ice Breaker

9:00 Talk 1

9:45 Talk 2

10:30 Snacks/Energizer

10:45 Talk 3

11:30 Talk 4

12:15 nn LUNCH

1:00 pm Team-building/Energizer

1:30 Workshop 1

2:00 Workshop 2

2:30 Workshop 3


3:30 Talk 5

4:15 Open Forum

5:00 Closing Prayer

Half Day Part 1:



8:45 Ice Breaker

9:00 Talk 1

9:30 Talk 2


10:30 Talk 3

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11:00 Talk 4

11:30 Open Forum

12:00 nn LUNCH/Closing

Half Day Part 2:



8:45 Ice Breaker

9:00 Workshop 1

9:30 Workshop 2


10:30 Workshop 3

11:00 Talk 5

11:30 Open Forum

12:00 nn LUNCH/Closing

Notes on the HHO session

• The SFC Cluster Head can choose to have the whole-day format or the half-day format

depending on the availability of the leaders.

• The worship may be led by an SFC Chapter Head or an SFC Unit Head.

• The talk may be given by an SFC Chapter Head or an SFC Unit Head.

• The workshop may be given by an SFC Chapter Head or an SFC Unit Head.

• The open forum is handled by an SFC Chapter Head and an SFC Cluster Head.

• Creative activities (e.g. ice breakers, energizers, team-buildings, etc.) are included in the

program to facilitate ample interaction among the leaders within the SFC Cluster.

• Workshops are included as well to train the new Household Leaders on some of their

technical duties such as leading worship, giving a talk and conducting one on ones.

• An open forum is suggested to be conducted after all the talks of the HHO to entertain

and address clarifications/questions from the newly installed Household Leaders.

• After the HHO, the Household Heads Manual is given to each new Household Leader.

• Finally, the SFC Unit Head (who is also the household head of the Household Leaders) is

encouraged to use the HHO talks as their household topics in their next households so

as to further assist the formation of his/her members as Household Leaders.

Notes on HHTS sessions

• Each HHTS session would normally consist of the following:

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Worship - 30 minutes

Talk - 45 minutes

Open forum - 30 minutes

Fellowship - 15 minutes

• The worship may be led by an SFC Chapter Head or an SFC Unit Head.

• The talk may be given by an SFC Chapter Head or an SFC Unit Head.

• The open forum is handled by an SFC Chapter Head and an SFC Cluster Head.

• An open forum is suggested to be conducted after each talk of the HHT to entertain and

address clarifications/questions from the newly installed Household Leaders.

• Finally, the SFC Unit Head (who is also the household head of the Household Leaders) is

encouraged to use the HHO talks as their household topics in their next households so

as to further assist the formation of his/her members as Household Leaders.

Attendance

• Attendance in the HHT is a must.

• Absences may be permitted for acceptable reasons. Those who are absent at sessions

must secure and listen to a recording of the talk, and also of the open forum if this was

recorded.

• However, it is emphasized that the HHT is important NOT ONLY for the teaching given.

Other very important elements of training and formation in HHT are:

1. Worshiping the Lord as a body of leaders

2. Gaining wisdom from inputs during the open forum

3. Affording the SFC Chapter Head and the SFC Cluster Head the opportunity to be

with and address the community's household leaders, building them up as a

team and keeping them on track with the SFC vision and mission

• Continued absence at HHT sessions, whether for acceptable reasons or not, can be

grounds for removal as household leaders.

• Finishing the HHT is a prerequisite to appointment as unit leaders. There may be

exceptions to this, as decided by the SFC Chapter Head. In such a case, the household

leaders now assigned as unit leaders will still have to continue and finish the HHT.

• Household leaders who have completed the HHT are no longer required to attend the

next batches of HHO and HHT sessions, unless they desire to do so as a refresher or are

directed to attend by the SFC Chapter Head.

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CFC- SINGLES FOR CHRIST

HOUSEHOLD HEADS TRAINING

HOUSEHOLD HEADS ORIENTATION

TALK No. 1 : BEING A SERVANT

Expanded Outline

A. Introduction.

1. In order to be better Christian servants, we need to understand the nature of Christian

service.

a) We need to ask ourselves:

* Why do we serve?

* Who are we as servants?

* How do we serve?

b) In order to answer these, we need a vision of reality that can clearly point out to us

the whole approach to service that we are to take. We need to see the reality in the

world around us not in the way that the world sees it, but in the way God sees it.

2. There are two basic realities that we need to see.

a) There are two kingdoms opposed to one another, the kingdom of darkness under

Satan and the kingdom of light under our Lord.

* Satan has real spiritual power (Eph 6:12). He has forces under his control which

are opposed to God and His followers.

* Our enemy is not principally social problems, human weakness, lack of

education, etc., but a whole kingdom. Our battle is a spiritual one.

* Thus anything we do that involves taking someone from the dominion of Satan

into the kingdom of light will involve us in this battle for the hearts and minds of

men. Any Christian service is automatically spiritual warfare.

b) Man is in sin and bondage and needs to be redeemed.

* The fundamental problem of the world is not social ills (this is just the

manifestation of the problem) but sin.

* Man needs to be reconciled with God, and only Jesus is able to do this.

* We are the instruments that God uses to bring other men back to Him.

c) The above two realities should form our vision for our Christian service.

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3. Christian service is not simply what you do, but who or what you are as you do it.

a) The emphasis is on being a servant rather than on doing service.

b) Lk 10:38-42. The story of Martha and Mary.

B. There are three important New Testament passages that we will examine in order to clarify

our understanding of what it means to be a servant.

1. Lk 17:7-10. The duty of a servant.

a) We have lost touch with the real meaning of the word "servant" as understood in

Jesus' time.

* During those times, a servant (or slave) was someone who was another person's

property and had no rights whatsoever.

* Thus Jesus' story must have been amusing to his listeners. They could not

comprehend a situation where the servant is served by his master.

b) We are the Lord's servants. We have been bought at the price of his blood. We no

longer own ourselves. We are to be men and women who serve the Lord without

regard for ourselves.

2. Phil 2:5-8. The identity of a servant.

a) Christian service is not just another avenue for self-fulfillment.

* We have no basis for insisting that God give us work to do that suits our

personality, interests or personal gains.

b) The Christian doesn't seek to serve himself. Rather, he humbles himself and puts

himself at the disposal of everyone else.

* Jesus' example.

3. Heb 5:8. The obedience of a servant.

a) A requirement of the lordship of Jesus and our own servanthood is obedience to his

authority.

* Obedience cannot be halfway or half-hearted. Either Jesus is Lord of all areas of

our life, or our ascription of master and Lord to him is meaningless.

C. Obstacles to obedience.

1. Natural disinclination to being a "servant".

a) We think of "servants" as lowly, doing menial work, unable to become better on

their own.

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b) Solution: Correct concept of being the Lord's servant.

2. Natural disinclination to think of other people first instead of ourselves.

a) We often think first of what is good for us, what will fulfill us.

b) Solution: A fundamental reorientation of our lives.

* Realize that a servant of the Lord never goes into a situation for himself, but

always looking out for how he can serve others.

3. Human rebelliousness.

a) Our fallen nature is inclined to say "I will not serve".

b) Solution: Repent, and resolve to obey.

4. Lack of trust (in the Lord, our heads, our brothers and sisters).

a) If I obey, will they take care of me? Can I rely on them?

b) Solution: Have faith!

* Realize that God calls us to serve Him and will care for us as a loving Father.

* Realize that God puts other people in headship position over us and He works

through them.

* Realize that God has called us into SFC to experience brotherhood and

sisterhood in the Lord.

D. Growing into maturity as Christian servants.

1. The Lord does not just want us to be enthusiastic and willing servants, but he wants us

to be mature Christian servants. He wants people he can truly count on.

2. Some signs of maturity:

a) Christian wisdom and teachings are being applied to your lives.

b) Relationships (both with the Lord and with one another) are strong and full.

c) Faithfulness characterizes your lives.

* Daily personal prayer.

* Attendance at meetings.

* Fidelity to service assigned.

d) You are men and women of your word. You can make commitments and stick to

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them.

e) You are working on the various obstacles and shortcomings in your lives as

Christians.

* Every new day should be taken as an opportunity to become more Christlike.

f) You are servants who can serve without having to be acknowledged, appreciated or

rewarded.

* Though God and SFC do appreciate your efforts, our motivation is not reward or

recognition.

* We simply serve out of our love for God and neighbor.

E. Conclusion.

1. The cost of servanthood. 2 Cor 11:23-28.

a) Perhaps none of us would ever have to go through Paul's experiences. But being

God's servant will involve some hardship and suffering.

b) All the difficulties involved with being a servant will produce joy for us. There is a

purpose for the difficulty.

2. Our lives are like a grain of wheat. Jn 12:24-26.

a) To be fruitful we must fall into the ground and die.

* We die to our self-interest.

* We put the Lord first.

b) Our dying to ourselves is life-giving to others.

3. We are all privileged to be the Lord's servants.

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TALK No. 2 : THE HOUSEHOLD: PURPOSE, DYNAMICS AND LEADERSHIP

Speaker's Outline

Note: The following is a brief outline of what the content of your talk should be. For further

material with which to flesh out your talk, please refer to the Household Heads Manual.

A. The Household.

1. Definition

2. Purpose

3. Composition

B. The Household Head.

1. His role

2. His basic attitudes to his work

3. Some areas to refer to the Unit Head

4. Practical steps

C. The Household Members.

1. Attitudes they should have

2. Attendance

D. The Household Meeting.

1. Frequency

2. Venue

3. Ingredients

4. Duration

E. Topics for Discussion

F. Other Group Activities

NOTE: The Household Heads Manual is to be given out to the new household leaders. Also

given out is the "Orientation of new households to SFC" manual.

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TALK No. 3 : BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS

Expanded Outline

A. Introduction.

1. You are all called to do God's work in SFC.

a) This is very important work. You are leaders of cell groups which make up the basic

support structure for CFC members.

b) You need to respond humbly and fully.

2. You are all new to this kind of pastoral leadership. God is doing something new.

a) Do not feel unworthy, for God Himself Who calls you will also empower you.

b) You are all learning and growing in your ability to serve in this new way.

* Look to growing in confidence and capability each new day.

3. You yourselves are all under pastoral care, not only for your personal lives but also for

your service.

a) We leaders in SFC are not serving in isolation from one another, but rather as a

network of pastoral leaders serving together.

* Encourage one another.

* Learn from one another.

* Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit.

b) Just be open to those over you regarding any aspect of your service.

B. How should you relate to your Unit Head?

1. Understand your relationship with him/her.

a) He/she is committed to you and the members of your group. You can call on

him/her anytime for support, advice or prayers. He/she is for you.

b) His/her desire is to see you develop and grow in your service and in your life and to

see your members grow in the Lord.

c) Don't hold back from telling him/her your problems in leading the group.

* Don't think that you've always got to give a good report. We are looking for a

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realistic assessment to see God's will regarding your group.

* Don't protect your members from him/her.

2. What to talk to your Unit Head about?

a) The Household.

* Are your members relating to one another well?

* Are they free to share with one another?

* Do they worship freely together?

* Do they ever do anything together outside of the household meeting?

* How is their general attitude towards SFC?

b) Individual members.

* How are they growing in Christ?

* Daily prayer?

* Relationship with their family?

* Relationship with authority? Yours and overall SFC?

* Problems if any.

c) Developing a pastoral vision for the household.

* Have some goals in mind for the whole household and discuss them with your

Unit Head. What do they need?

* Have some goals for the individual members in your household. What does each

one need? Do not be ruled by what each member wants.

* In both, pray and seek God's will.

d) Your time and service.

* Do you have enough time for yourself, family, romantic relationship, job and

service?

* What are the extra demands of your household that pulls you down?

* How are you experiencing your service? Are you growing in confidence? Do you

need more help?

C. Note that your role as a household head is not just to relate to your unit head. You are to

reach out also to your members and help move them on in their relationship with the Lord and

as brethren in CFC.

a) It involves continuing evangelization.

b) It is based on a personal caring relationship.

2. Being household leaders involves the exercise of what we call "evangelistic headship".

D. Elements of evangelistic headship. 1 Thes 2:7-12.

1. Gentleness (v.7).

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a) Do not come down too hard on your member's shortcomings.

* Do not be abrasive or inflexible.

b) Be like a "nursing mother".

* Be loving and gentle.

* But be firm if there is a need. Even a mother corrects.

2. Personal concern (v.8).

a) It is not just a functional relationship.

* You need to be friends.

* Take an interest in their interests.

- Ask about their family, romantic relationship, work, personal problems, etc.

- Keep a journal so you can keep track.

* Behind it all is setting your heart on them to love them.

b) We are all part of one body. We share a common life.

* State your commitment to them and communicate your desire to serve them.

* Make clear the relationship is one of brotherhood and service to them.

3. Diligence and perseverance (v.9).

a) Always be reaching out to them. It is a battle to change people and it will not just

happen easily.

* Exercise pastoral patience.

b) Be open and available. Let them have access to you.

* But teach them to be reasonable in seeking you out (e.g., not in the middle of

the night, except if there is a real emergency).

c) Meet outside regular meetings.

* When the opportunity presents itself (or make your own opportunities), visit

them at home or at work.

* Have recreation together.

4. Integrity (v.10).

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a) You must be a person who is beyond reproach.

b) It is not just a question of not sinning, but of not doing anything that can subject you

to criticism.

* E.g., Borrowing money from your members.

Lording it over them.

Being critical of SFC, and CFC as a community.

5. Encouragement (v.11-12).

a) Just like a father/mother to his/her children.

* Provide encouragement, comfort, support.

b) Help them to know themselves.

* Say helpful things about difficulties.

* Give them insights on why they do the things that they do.

* Observe and notice them (how they pray, how they behave at meetings, how

they handle their daily life, etc.) and give inputs from time to time.

c) Keep in touch with their concerns (family, health, school, occupation, lovelife, etc.).

* Communicate to them that you are aware of these.

* Let them know that you are not just concerned about what you want them to do

but also about their concerns.

d) Be able to laugh and cry with them. Identify with their joys and sorrows. Empathize.

* When someone first opens up, be able to hold them up with your support.

* They should not experience their life changing just independently, but rather,

you carry them in your heart, and this is sometimes expressed to them.

An important and interesting note: Notice that the above involves the whole range of

caring that happens within a family. The household leaders in certain ways act out the roles

of mother, brother, sister and father to their members.

E. The effect of evangelistic headship. What is the desired response from the members?

1. Love.

a) This is the call to every Christian. We are all to love one another as brothers and

sisters in Christ.

b) But the caring relationship should reinforce and strengthen the members' love for

their leaders.

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2. Confidence.

a) This frees them to give themselves over to your headship.

* They can let go of their self-protectiveness. They can put down their defenses.

* It frees them to give of their whole selves.

b) This opens them to receive advice and wisdom from you.

* They become more ready to hear God's word coming from you.

* It does not become necessary to question all you say.

c) As you experience them putting more confidence in you, you become more free to

give them more that you yourself have learned.

3. Respect.

a) It is not enough to be loved. You need to be respected, if you are to be effective in

helping them to change.

b) How do you earn respect?

* Show them you respect them.

- Don't put them down.

- Listen carefully.

* Be straightforward and honest.

- Don't beat around the bush.

- Let them know what your mind really is.

- Give them a fair and honest evaluation.

* Be able to be firm when something needs to change.

- Be willing to take a stand, even though sometimes you can make

concessions.

- You don't just give out love, advice, etc., but you also need to correct and

admonish when necessary.

* Don't be a know-it-all.

- You don't know everything and you can't solve all problems. Be willing to say

"I don't know".

- Don't bluff. It will boomerang and you end up with even less credibility.

If the above desired response from members happens, then the result is that they become

more open to the word of God through you. They become more open to the work of the

Holy Spirit. 1 Thes. 2:13.

F. Conclusion.

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1. You have the privilege to guide new SFC members in their new life in the Lord.

a) Take this responsibility seriously.

b) Put your faith in Jesus.

2. People grow in confidence as they see you grow in holiness and in Christian character.

a) 1 Tim 4:12-16. You need to grow yourself.

* Be an example and a model to others.

b) They must know that you can take them as far as God has taken you.

* Be able to say: "Imitate me as I imitate Christ" (1 Cor 11:1).

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TALK No. 4 : EVALUATION

Expanded Outline

A. Introduction.

1. Our goal in serving in SFC is to be the best for the Lord and for the people He has

entrusted to us.

2. A process that will enable us to serve better is evaluation.

a) Experience is a great teacher, and regular evaluation helps us to learn from our

experiences.

b) Evaluation enables us to avoid repeating mistakes.

c) Evaluation helps us to learn how to maintain successful elements of our service.

3. Our attitude should be that we want our service evaluated openly and honestly.

a) We should not be afraid to be shown that we have committed a mistake.

b) We should desire to constantly learn and improve on our work for the Lord.

B. The context of Christian evaluation.

1. Competitiveness and hostility in society make evaluation a fearful thing.

a) We are unconsciously trained to examine ourselves in comparison with others.

* Grades in school can cause difficulties due to emotional and psychological

pressure.

* In the business world, fierce competition affects salary and position.

* Social competitiveness.

b) Being looked on as OK is always at the expense of someone else.

2. For Christians, what comes first is our relationship as brothers and sisters.

a) How successful we are in our performance is not what determines love for and

commitment to one another.

b) Poor functioning, failure to achieve, low performance levels, will not be reasons for

rejection.

3. Our perspective: members of the body have different gifts and functions. 1 Cor. 12.

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Rom. 12:3-8.

a) All these gifts must work interdependently in order to achieve the common good of

the body.

b) We do not compete with one another, but rather we work together as a team.

* We try to help everyone else to achieve maximum effectiveness using their gifts.

c) We also need to affirm our brethren's gifts and achievements.

* This helps people become more secure in their service.

C. Evaluation occurs in SFC in three ways.

1. Feedback.

a) SFC members should be encouraged to have a sense of responsibility for how things

go in our life and mission.

* We are all in this together. Responsibility does not lie only with the leaders.

* The Lord speaks to every member and can use anyone to point things out.

b) Anyone can give feedback to the person responsible for a particular task or area of

service.

* Subordinates can give feedback to those over them.

c) It is best to give negative feedback only to the person who has responsibility for the

service.

* Expressing negative criticisms to just anyone can become grumbling,

complaining, gossip or slander. Always correct in private.

2. Evaluation sessions.

a) The whole SFC community should often engage in evaluation at different levels.

* Households can evaluate how their meetings are going and how relationships

are developing.

* The chapter can regularly evaluate how its evangelization is going.

* The music ministry can evaluate how effectively they are contributing to

communal worship.

b) Especially for major community events, there should be a time for evaluating the

events, so that lessons may be learned, and improvements for the future

discovered.

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3. Evaluation by heads.

a) Those with responsibility for different areas of service ought to conduct regular

evaluation of the service and of the individuals who are performing it.

b) It is very helpful for a person to know from those who oversee his/her service how

well he/she is doing.

* This can result in freedom to serve more effectively and a sense of security in

working for the Lord.

D. How to give evaluation.

1. Follow a right order to evaluation.

a) First, set the context. Begin with an overall view of the situation or impression.

b) Then, concentrate on the positive before the negative.

* Commend people for what they have done well.

* Exchange ideas for improving what is basically a good situation.

* Avoid the tendency, coming from a worldly understanding of evaluation, to pick

out faults.

c) Having noted the positive contributions, discuss areas that can be improved and

offer negative criticism.

* Do not be afraid to give critical evaluation.

* Give critical evaluation as specifically as possible.

* Say it in a way that is helpful and can be accepted readily by the person

concerned.

2. Be careful to give evaluation in a way that does not question the heart or commitment

of the individual or group.

a) Rather, we should recognize the stability of a person's commitment, while

addressing what he has done wrong.

b) The one being evaluated, in turn, should not question our love for and commitment

to him/her.

* They should avoid being apologetic and trying to rationalize.

* They should acknowledge mistakes right away.

3. We must be open and straightforward.

a) There should be no hinting, negative humor or manipulation.

b) We are responsible to inform people who are not doing well in order to allow them

to change and improve.

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* We should not ignore a problem, or fear candor and honesty.

c) Real love seeks what is best for others, correcting them if necessary. Heb. 12:5-9.

E. How to receive evaluation.

1. We should be grateful to have brothers and sisters who care enough for us to give us

evaluation.

a) Positive evaluation is important for our encouragement. Critical evaluation is

important for improvement in our service.

b) We should not question their love for and commitment to us.

2. We should be humble, knowing that we do not know everything. Prov. 12:15.

3. We need to value constructive criticism.

a) The wise man appreciates being shown his errors. Prov. 9:8-9.

* We should want to get things exposed and look at criticism as an occasion to

change, irregardless of how it is said or by whom.

* We should set aside any defensiveness.

b) This frees us in our service, with the knowledge that we can count on others to point

things out to us.

F. Conclusion.

1. We are sinful and worldly, and we will continue to commit mistakes as we serve the

Lord.

2. But God wants to use us in spite of ourselves, as long as we are open and willing to learn

from Him.

3. Christian evaluation is an important tool for our growth in loving and serving the Lord.

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TALK No. 5 : ZEAL AND SINGLE-MINDEDNESS FOR GOD

Expanded Outline

A. Introduction.

1. We must be men and women who passionately want to promote God's kingdom on

earth. Thus, our hearts should be troubled whenever we find anything that is not right

with God.

2. Our "goodness" could be measured by the extent to which we feel a pure and growing

hatred for evil.

B. Four kinds of "good" people.

1. Those who do no evil, yet do not devote themselves faithfully to doing good.

a) They lack other, more positive virtues.

b) Just like baptized infants.

2. Those who refrain from evil and also devote themselves to frequent good deeds, yet,

while they do not neglect to do what good they can, they see no need to do more than

that.

a) Just so much prayer, service, almsgiving, etc., are enough for them. They do not

burn with a desire for a more complete holiness.

b) They remain quietly content with this spiritual level, and abandon higher things to

others.

3. Those who detest and avoid wrongdoing, fervently commit themselves to whatever

good they can do, and desire greater personal holiness, yet lack equal concern for the

holiness of others.

a) They eagerly desire the spiritual and internal virtues --fondness for prayer, intimate

knowledge of God, experience of divine love.

b) However they are not inflamed with fervent zeal against the vices of others or the

dangers of their sins. They want everyone to be good and live in grace, but feel no

wound of sorrow when they see the opposite.

c) They remain intent upon God and themselves. They might put off caring for other

people in order to preserve their own peace.

4. Those who avoid wrongdoing, practice virtue, are afire with zeal for personal

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righteousness, and have zeal for winning souls.

a) They obtain no comfort from progress toward their own salvation unless they are

also leading others to God.

b) Jesus' example: Although he always had complete joy in himself, he was not content

only to possess glory, but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, in order to

lead many others into glory with him. Phil. 2:7.

c) As household heads, we should be this 4th kind of "good" Christian. These make the

best persons for leadership in SFC, given our evangelistic mission.

C. Zeal for righteousness stems from the very basis of our Christianity, namely, love of God

and of neighbor.

1. A person who loves God not only desires to enjoy his goodness and be close to him, but

loves to see his will accomplished, his worship carried out and his honor exalted. He

wants all people to know, love, serve and honor God more than anything else.

2. A person who loves his neighbor desires not only health and prosperity for him, but

even more, eternal salvation.

3. Love of God and neighbor should cause us to mourn if God is dishonored or disobeyed,

and if others are not in right relationship with Him.

4. Although all Christians should love their neighbor, this love for others is especially

necessary for those who are leaders.

a) Their position demands that they act on God's behalf. Thus their hearts should be as

much moved by love of righteousness and hatred of evil as is God's heart.

b) Ps. 45:8. "You love justice and hate wickedness; therefore God, your God, has

anointed you..."

D. Areas of concern (exercise of zeal) in our own lives and in the lives of our household

members.

1. Growth in love for God and for neighbor. Selflessness.

2. Active participation in the life of the Church. Frequent reception of the sacraments.

3. Faithfulness to the covenant of SFC.

a) All SFC members have freely and willingly made their commitment to the Lord and

to the body. They should live up to it.

b) Deut. 23:22-24.

4. Areas not essential for salvation but desirable for making spiritual progress.

a) Faithfulness to and punctuality in meetings.

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* Household leaders show the way. If you have no enthusiasm, neither will your

members.

b) Exercise of spiritual gifts.

* Charismatic dimension. SFC's brand of spirituality.

c) Financial support for the CFC community.

* This is not part of our covenant, but it is part of being a good mature Christian.

* The money is used for evangelization, thus for winning souls.

d) Submission to headship.

* Authority is a gift from God which is given to us as a means/help to move us on

in our spiritual lives.

e) Avoidance of a critical spirit or attitude.

E. Two specific applications: Correction and Encouragement.

Correction

1. At the heart of scriptural appreciation for correction is a hatred of sin, and a realization

of human fallibility.

a) Ps. 141:5.

b) Thus zeal + love of neighbor = correction.

2. Deal with the wrongdoing of members.

a) Be simple and straightforward. Lk. 17:3.

b) How?

* Do not condone any wrongdoing nor concede that any wrongdoing is acceptable.

* Do not allow any wrongdoing to remain unrepented of or uncorrected.

* Do not remain silent and pretend to know nothing when you ought to speak out.

* Be in touch with your Unit Head.

c) Be authoritative.

* Your authority comes from God and is to be exercised in the community where

we have committed ourselves to.

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* Look to correction as a pastoral tool for growth.

3. Your accountability as head to correct.

a) You are God's representatives. You have been given responsibility over God's

people. Your members look up to you and obey you because you have the Lord's

place.

* Do not allow vices and bad practices to grow.

* Do what you can to overcome wrongdoing.

b) If you neglect your duty, you will be accountable to God.

* You would be guilty of neglect for not doing what your duty called for. Wisdom

6:4-5.

* You would bear the guilt for the faults of your subordinates, in that you could

and should have corrected them but didn't. Ezek. 33:8.

* This is not to scare you, but to show the seriousness of your work.

Encouragement

1. You also have a duty to encourage.

a) Not just correction (look at wrongs) but encouragement (look at what's right).

b) Not just criticism, but praise.

2. At the start of Jesus' ministry, God encouraged him.

a) Mt. 3:17.

* Again at transfiguration. Mt. 17:5.

b) God is the source of all encouragement. Rom. 15:5.

* We follow His ways.

3. "Encourage" is a compound of two words": "en" = to put in or into, and "courage" =

confidence, strength.

a) Thus literally, to encourage means to put courage into someone.

* An encouraging person builds up and strengthens people by his presence and

words.

* He supports, not weakens.

b) How to encourage:

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* Comfort.

* Support (situation where one cannot cope). Through words, advice, prayers or

just presence.

* Urge on/exhort. Motivate. Not so much comfort, but challenge.

* Praise. E.g., honoring.

4. There is plenty of bad news around and unfortunately, people quickly respond to

discouraging news.

a) God looks for eternal optimists, who can share that spirit with others.

* God's news is good news, not bad. We are to bring the good news of liberty, joy,

release, hope, comfort, etc.

b) We cannot encourage enough.

* Many people have low self-esteem. They need to be affirmed.

* Our encouragement helps people to discover themselves, to appreciate who

they are.

c) Thus, our basic attitude as household leaders needs to be one of encouragement.

* Not always correcting, but kindness, encouragement, rejoicing over what the

Lord has already done.

* Love them so they move on.

7. A fruit of encouragement is growth in perseverance. Perseverance is a Christian quality

especially needed to overcome problems, obstacles and trials. We need to be

persevering as we desire to FOLLOW Jesus as leaders of our households.

F. Two men on the road to Emmaus. Lk. 24:13ff.

1. They seem to have given up. They were disappointed because of wrong expectations

(v.21).

2. On the positive side, they went back to the disciples after breaking bread with Jesus.

G. Lessons from the Emmaus story.

1. We need to examine our reasons for following Jesus.

a) The wrong reason can easily lead us to change course. Jn. 6:26-27, 66-69.

b) John the Baptist condemns superficial and opportunistic "repentance". Mt. 3:7-10.

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c) Looking on Christianity as a problem-solver. Results of such an outlook:

* Disappointment if the problem is not resolved.

* Turning away from Jesus once the problem is resolved because there is no longer

any need for him.

* Inability to accept Jesus' hard teachings.

2. We need to open up our hearts and let the word of God burn in our hearts. This way,

our motivation becomes pure.

a) The proper attitude: Phil. 3:8.

* Everything else is garbage compared to Christ.

b) We can only be singleminded for God if our vision is clear, if we know the place of

Jesus in our life, if we have a right relationship with him, and if we know where we

are going.

H. How can we be singleminded for God?

1. "Burn your boats".

a) Anecdote about a beleaguered army having to make a decision on whether to flee

out to the sea in their boats or to stand and face the advancing enemy. The

commander had their boats burned, thus eliminating the choice.

b) Practical application:

* Many of us come into a new life in the Lord, but we keep our boats in reserve, so

that if necessary we can return to the world.

* We need to forego all other options. In our new life, there should be no turning

back.

2. Learn to persevere and be patient.

a) Prepare for the long haul. Moving on in the Christian life is the task of a lifetime.

b) Some Scripture passages.

* Heb. 6:11-12. Sometimes one starts off very zealous in the Christian life, then

grows lazy and takes things for granted. But we are to show the "same zeal till

the end".

* 2 Thes. 3:13. Sometimes doing good can be tiring. But we just need to continue

doing what is right.

* Phil. 3:16. Whatever spiritual state or level we are in, we are to go on. We can

never be fully mature. There's always more that the Lord wants for us.

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* Gal. 6:9. Some come into a life in the Lord, then get tired and finally turn back to

their old ways. We need to persevere, knowing what awaits us.

* 1 Cor. 15:58. Sometimes the problem is that we do not see the fruit of righteous

living. Righteous living might even seem like such a burden. But the fruit is

there. God is pleased. We will reap the harvest.

3. "Take up your cross and follow me".

a) Jesus did not promise that if we followed him there would be no more problems.

b) In fact, the Christian life is a life of embracing and loving the cross of Christ.

I. How can we grow in singlemindedness for God?

1. Set a goal in personal virtue.

a) Growing in singlemindedness for God is connected with righteous living. Thus we

need to acquire desirable virtues.

* Without personal virtues, we cannot be singleminded for God. There will always

be some distractions that are too attractive.

b) Ask the Lord to show what virtue you can grow most in. Some examples:

* Steadfastness. Tobit 4:5-6.

* Humility. Phil. 2:3-4.

* Obedience. Jesus' example.

* Courage.

* Kindness. The example of Mother Teresa.

- Mother Teresa: "Love begins at home, it is not how much we do but how

much love we put in the action that we do. To God Almighty, how much we

do does not matter, but how much love we put in that action. How much we

do to him in the person we are serving. And let us all meet each other with a

smile, for the smile is the beginning of love. Let us keep that joy of loving

Jesus in our hearts and share that joy with all that we come in touch with"

- The most villainous person she has met is described by her as "Jesus in a very

distressing disguise"

2. Seek to suffer a little every day for God.

a) There are many opportunities that present themselves:

* Denying ourselves too much of the pleasures of life.

* Forbearing in relationship difficulties.

* Giving things up like more sleep in favor of more prayer.

b) These help us to focus less on ourselves and more on God.

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3. Detach yourself from your desires and plans.

a) God has the best plan for our lives.

* Jer. 29:11.

b) We need to let go of our preconceived notions of what is best for us. We need to

approach the Lord without any preset agenda.

4. Seek consolation only from God.

a) This is not only the proper attitude, but a practical and realistic one. Every one else

can fail us, but God never will.

* In the midst of difficulty, especially from those closest to us, God is our

consolation.

b) It is only God Who can truly comfort us.

* Mt. 11:28-30.

5. Pray for God's will to be done in your life.

a) We should not only be resigned to God's will, but actively and eagerly pray that His

will come to pass in our life.

* But be careful. God delights in such prayers, and will grant them.

b) Have faith that our Father knows best.

* Even when we cannot see beyond the difficulty of the moment.

J. Conclusion.

1. There are four types of good people.

a) Household leaders should strive to be the 4th type.

* Because this is ideal for headship.

* This is an assurance that all household members will be helped to move on.

2. God uses our zeal for righteousness to help other people.

a) Through evangelization, bringing God's life to others.

b) Through caring for members of SFC.

3. Our zeal for God grows into perseverance for God’s call to righteousness is very difficult.

It entails us to serve Him with utmost dedication and commitment.

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4. We can only move on in these areas as we become more and more focus on the Lord

and our life and mission in Him. Let us be singleminded for God.

CFC – SINGLES FOR CHRIST

ORIENTATION OF NEW HOUSEHOLDS TO SFC

ORIENTATION PROGRAM OBJECTIVES AND MECHANICS

I. Introduction

This manual is for the use of household leaders in conducting their household meetings

right after the Christian Life Program (CLP). It covers the three-month period between the

CLP and the next part of our formation program, the Covenant Orientation.

II. Objectives

Following are the objectives of the Orientation Phase:

1. This orientation program seeks to develop an atmosphere where members in the

household feel comfortable with one another and are growing in their relationship as

brethren.

2. The program also aims to explain the purpose and dynamics of household meetings.

3. It intends to establish among the household members clear expectations of the:

a. Role of the household head.

b. Role of household members.

c. Meeting place, time and schedule.

d. Attitude of members to the household head and to each other.

4. The program also seeks to develop an atmosphere of trust and openness among the

members.

5. It sets-up the structure whereby household members can begin to share and experience

a life lived under the power of the Holy Spirit.

III. Role of Household Leaders

Overall, the role of the household leaders is to introduce the members into the pattern of

life of SFC and to see to it that members are gradually being integrated into the culture of

SFC.

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More specifically, household leaders are expected to do, among others, the following:

1. Help members adjust and adapt into a new pattern of life and behaviour;

2. Help members develop an attitude of trust and confidence in the Lord and with one

another;

3. Assist members to appreciate their new way of life;

4. Help members to understand and appreciate the values and practices of SFC.

IV. Content of the Meetings

Since there are 2 household meetings in a month, this 3-month phase may encompass at

least 6 household meetings in all. Following are the proposed contents for each of these

meetings. The household head may opt to have topics or content other than these, as long

as the basic objectives for this phase are met.

Meeting No. 1

1. Have a short prayer to start. Have one song and then a prayer by the household

head.

2. Start off with brief introductions by each member of the household, including the

leaders, who should go first.

a. These should be only basic information, such as: name, age, residence, work,

children.

b. It should be only about 5 minutes per member.

Note: It would be good to collate basic information about the household members

and give these out to everyone for their respective references. This can include:

names, residence, birth dates, telephone, work and family info.

3. Explain the following (refer to your household head's manual):

a. Purpose of household meetings (Sec. A-2)

b. Your role as household head (Sec. B-2)

c. Attendance (Sec. C-2)

d. Ingredients (Sec. D-3)

4. Expound on how you will be conducting the time of worship starting the next

meeting.

a. Explain the sequence (Sec. D-3-a).

b. Exhort participation – in singing, praising, exercise of spiritual gifts, individual

prayers of thanksgiving and petition.

5. Have a time for questions and answers.

6. Agree on your subsequent meetings.

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a. What day?

b. What time? Have an "arrival time" and a "starting time", usually about 15

minutes later. Stress that the meeting will start punctually on the designated

starting time.

c. Where? For ease of remembering, do the rotation of venues based on the

surnames of the members, going alphabetically.

7. Remind everyone to have his or her own Bible and to bring it to every meeting.

8. Have your time of fellowship. Try to keep the whole meeting within 2 1/2 hours.

Meeting No. 2

1. Have full worship.

2. If anyone was late, exhort all to punctuality.

3. Examine the time of worship.

a. Did people participate actively?

b. Discuss the dynamics a bit.

c. Exhort all to greater participation and openness to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

5. Go over the desired attitudes of members (Sec. C-1).

6. Go quickly over the Bible Reading Guide.

a. Does everyone have his/her own Bible?

b. Encourage faithfulness to daily Bible reading, using the guide.

7. Encourage all to read one spiritual book a month, drawing from our publications in

CFC/FLAME Ministries.

8. Surface any concerns the members might have.

9. Have your time of fellowship.

Meeting No. 3


2. Before the sharing, encourage openness. Reiterate the principle of confidentiality

(Sec. C-1-b).

3. Have the time of sharing.

4. Topic:

a. How they were introduced to SFC and what made them decide to join.

b. What changes are they observing or experiencing in their lives – home, office,

and relationships.

5. Surface any concerns they might still have regarding SFC and their household group.


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Meeting No. 4

1. Full worship, fellowship.

2. Topic: Share on personal prayer and Bible reading.

Meeting No. 5

1. Full worship, discussion/sharing, and fellowship.

2. Topic: Share on personal life – interests, hobbies, work, schedule of activities, etc.

Meeting No. 6


2. Topic: Share on family life – relationship with spouse, relationship with children,

family schedule, family prayer, family recreation, etc.

Meeting No. 7


2. Topic: Share on how they are experiencing growth in and through SFC.

Meeting No. 8


2. Discuss the SFC logo.

a. Do they understand what CFC and SFC stand for?

b. Where are they at in relation to who they ought to be and what they ought to be

for in CFC Singles for Christ?


Meeting No. 9


2. Topic for sharing:

a. How are they experiencing personal conversion and developing their personal

relationship with Jesus?

b. How are they appreciating God's call to be in a particular body, which is SFC?

Note

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1. Whenever there is a fifth week in the month, this can be devoted to a time of

fellowship or a purely social activity. You may choose to do a variety of activities,

either in a home or outside.

2. The next phase after this Orientation of New Households is a two-day retreat or

weekend retreat referred to as the "Covenant Orientation". In case this is scheduled

early, some of the topics of the above mentioned meetings will have to wait for

another time. In case the recollection is late, then there will be added household

meetings where the topics will have to be decided on by the household head. You

have a variety of sources for topics: the CLP talks, Christian books, etc.

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CFC – SINGLES FOR CHRIST

THE HOUSEHOLD HEADS MANUAL

I. THE HOUSEHOLD

A. Definition

A household is a grouping of singles who meet regularly during the week for

personal sharing and for mutual support and encouragement in the Christian life. As

such, the household is the basic unit in the pastoral structure of CFC Singles for

Christ (SFC).

B. Purpose

The purpose of the household group is to build an environment for the support of

the Christian life of singles and to provide a means of encouraging and hastening

growth in the Christian life. As such, the household:

1. Builds faith and provides for mutual encouragement through the sharing of life

experiences and God’s practical wisdom.

2. Provides friendship and brotherhood/sisterhood, without which our Christian life

lacks joyful expression.

3. Provides support for each other’s needs.

4. Helps people overcome obstacles to growth in the Christian life.

C. Composition

A household is composed of five to seven singles including the household head. The

household is comprised of singles who finished the Christian Life Program (CLP) and

who have made their commitment to the covenant of the CFC Singles for Christ. The

household is set up immediately after the end of the CLP.

In succeeding years (at least, after one year), there would be occasions when

households would be reorganized. During these occasions membership will be

changed and redistributed to other households, units and chapters.

D. Necessity of household membership

Every SFC member is to belong to one household as one of its members. SFC leaders

(Household Heads, Unit Heads, and Chapter Heads) all belong to households for

their own personal support in the Christian life. Thus, every SFC leader participates

in two households, one which he leads and the other where he in turn is led.

II. THE HOUSEHOLD HEAD

A. Definition

The household head is the SFC brother or sister appointed to take care of a

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household.

B. The Role of the Household Head

1. The Household Head is the designated leader over a group of singles and is

responsible for all the activities of the household and for the good order of the

household meeting.

a. meeting

b. sharing/discussion

c. honor and respect

2. The Household Head acts as an older brother/sister to the group.

a. Establishes strong personal relationships with his members.

b. Gets help for them whenever it is available.

c. Gives direction and listens completely to his members ideally, at least, once a

month through one-to-one sessions.

3. He gives pastoral support through household meetings done four times a month,

two of which are prayer meetings while the other is an assembly and another is a

teaching.

4. He helps each member to be fully integrated into the household and into CFC

Singles for Christ.

5. He has no authority over members’ lives but exercises concern for their lives,

especially in the areas of righteousness and good order.

6. He supports the life in SFC and the decisions of its elders.

a. Does not use the household meeting to ventilate disagreements with SFC,

CFC or its elders. In case of such disagreement, he takes this up with his Unit

Head.

b. Supports fully any decision on movements of singles from one household to

another, and helps these members make their movements with ease and a

minimum of difficulty.

C. Qualifications of a Household Head

The household head is selected based on the following criteria:

1. Availability

2. Formation

a. growing spiritually

b. good order in personal life

c. a good appreciation of the vision, mission and culture of SFC

d. faithful to SFC commitments

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e. has taken the CO, CCWR and HLT

3. Personal Characteristics

a. emotionally stable

b. able to accept correction and direction

c. has a good reputation

4. Skills

a. ability to handle a group discussion

b. good listening and communication skills

c. ability to provide adequate directions to members regarding SFC

commitments

5. A member of SFC for at least one year.

D. Attitudes of a Household Head

In order to properly function in a way that would truly be helpful to the members of

the household, the household head needs to have some basic attitudes, to wit:

1. He must have the mind and heart of a servant. Just like the Lord Jesus, he must

come to serve rather than be served. His service should be an expression of love

for the Lord. He should be humble in service and put the interest of his

members first. He should be obedient to the Lord and to those whom the Lord

has put in charge of his service.

2. He must look upon the singles under him as being given by the Lord, to be cared

for adequately. He has the responsibility to look after their spiritual welfare, a

charge coming directly from the Lord.

3. The household head must love them as brothers or sisters. They are not just

good friends, but family.

4. He must serve with gladness and joy. No matter what one’s difficulties are, how

badly the day went, how strained one’s relationships with his family and friends

are at the moment, the household head needs to have the joy of the Lord, the

joy of serving Him, the joy that transcends all earthly difficulties. How he

conducts himself will provide a living example to those who have been put in his

care.

5. He must serve in trust and confidence. He needs to realize that since the Lord

has called him to do His work, then the Lord will equip him with the wisdom and

guidance necessary to be an effective instrument of His will.

E. Some Areas of Challenge

The household head is not expected to exercise pastoral headship over his group,

but he would normally encounter certain pastoral challenges which he cannot avoid

or should not avoid, but for which he should prudently seek help from the elders.

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The household head should refer all serious pastoral concerns to his Unit Head, who

is the pastor of the members of the unit, which includes the household. Of course,

the Unit Head can direct the household head to handle the situation himself, with

some input from him. But ultimately it is the responsibility and concern of the Unit

Head. Putting it within the context of a family (which a household is), the household

head is the big brother while the Unit Head is the father.

Some examples of issues that need to be referred to the Unit Head are:

1. Serious relationship problems within the single’s family.

2. Issues which pastorally affect the unit or across units, e.g., financial borrowing

without proper consultation and clearance.

3. Unfaithfulness of members to meetings, requiring a decision to retain or drop a

member from SFC.

4. Slander or gossip which erodes relationships within the household/unit or across

units.

5. Serious wrongdoing.

6. Moral and theological questions, such as taxes, bribery vs. extortion, penance,

the sacraments, etc.

7. Proselytizing and ecumenical relationships.

F. Practical Considerations

Some of the concrete things the household head can and should do are:

1. Handle the practical concerns for household meetings.

a. places of meetings

b. topics for discussion/sharing

c. drawing out a withdrawn member

d. regulating an over-sharing member

e. how to stop gossip in the meeting

f. bringing the discussion to the agenda and keeping it on course

2. Know each member well.

� Keep notes on each one.

3. Be prayerful.

a. Pray for each member regularly during his own personal prayer time.

b. Spend time praying before the household meeting and entrusting it to the

Lord.

c. Pray over members when appropriate (birthdays, anniversaries, when sick,

for inner healing, etc.)

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4. Be prepared and have an agenda. In other words, rely on the Lord, but also do

your part.

5. Focus on spiritual growth and God's power rather than on problems. However,

be sensitive to personal problems.

6. Get the group to make agreements and account to one another regarding:

a. time of meeting, punctuality

b. right way of speaking about others

c. negative humor

d. others

1. Always work on the faithfulness of members. Attendance at the household

meetings is part of a member's commitment and is a must.

2. Refer all frequent absentees to your Unit Head. Together you can discuss the

particular situation and decide on a course of action. Remember: the strength of

the body will depend on its members' faithfulness and commitment.

3. Always be on the lookout for potential leaders (CLP discussion leaders, speakers,

and household heads) and inform your Unit/Chapter Head about them. We

want to identify them early, chart their development and at the opportune time

let them serve. Remember that SFC can only grow in number to the extent that

our leadership resources allow.

4. Look upon our newsletter as a pastoral tool. It can help members grow through

teachings. It can help members experience unity in the body, especially in view

of our growing numbers. This is normally given out through the Unit Heads and

the household head should ensure that each and every member gets it every

time.

5. Study and read, especially the books we publish. Keep ahead of your members.

6. Don't use the household meeting to ventilate your own personal problems, nor

seek help for such problems from the household members under you. Rather,

bring these to your Unit Head and to the unit household of which you are a

member.

7. If for any reason you feel you cannot do the job as household head adequately,

discuss this with your Unit Head so that appropriate action can be taken. Don't

just let it go, with the result that your household members suffer.

III. THE HOUSEHOLD MEMBERS

A. Attitudes of Household Members

In order to reap the full benefits to be offered by participation in a household group,

its members have to foster some basic attitudes, such as:

1. Openness – One has to be open to what the Lord wants to give through the

household group. One should realize that this is part of God's work and in

conformity with His plan for each person, and should therefore be expectant and

desirous of what is in store for him. Concretely, one should share about his

personal life and relationship with the Lord in a spirit of openness.

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2. Confidentiality – Household members are encouraged to share of their personal

lives, including their concerns and difficulties, in the meetings. And this can be

done only in an atmosphere of confidentiality. Whatever is shared in the

meetings should not be shared outside with anyone else.

a. Note: The household leaders may share concerns to their service head/Unit

Head, who are extensions of their service and care for household members.

This is not a breach of confidentiality.

b. The prohibition on sharing with outsiders excludes the positive factors in

one's life. These in effect can be shared by the members outside the

household meeting whenever there is an appropriate opportunity so that

others can also be built up and encouraged.

3. Faithfulness – One has to make the twice a month household meeting a priority

in his life and be regular in attendance. Only with continuity and one's personal

commitment can the purpose of household groups be achieved.

4. Participation – Each member has to come to the meetings prepared both

spiritually and practically, and have the attitude of wanting to make a

contribution to the life of the meeting. Think not only of what you can get out of

the meeting but of what you can impart to the brothers and sisters. This is done

by active participation in worship, in sharing and discussion, and in fellowship. It

is important that each member supports the good order of the weekly meeting

and relates to everyone in the group with honor and respect, especially to the

household head.

5. Love – The idea, after all, is to foster active concern and commitment to one

another. One has to look on the other members of the group as not just so many

new friends, but as brothers and sisters in the Lord, among whom mutual love is

the common denominator.

B. Attendance

1. Each member is expected to attend the twice a month meetings faithfully, and

indeed this is part of one's commitment to the covenant of SFC. Of course,

certain obstacles will come up, such as sickness. What is important is that one

should accord top priority to these meetings and really desire not to be absent

from them.

2. Since attendance is part of one's commitment and since the very purpose of

household groups would be defeated by frequent absences (indicating a lack of

interest), such absences form sufficient ground for one's separation from SFC.

Household heads should follow up on absent members and try to renew their

interest and commitment. If unsuccessful, the matter should be referred to the

Unit Head for appropriate action.

3. The household head has no authority to grant leaves of absence to his household

members. Any such requests should be referred to the Unit Head.

IV. THE HOUSEHOLD MEETINGS

A. Frequency

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1. Households meet twice a month for household (the other two is dedicated for

assemblies and teachings), on the same day of the week as mutually agreed on

by the members. Less than once a week would not provide enough contact to

have adequate support and encouragement in the Christian life. More than once

a week may take time that is more properly allocated to work, family, personal

needs or Christian service.

2. The household head cannot skip or cancel any meeting, except as provided for

below, or as approved by the Unit Head due to a serious reason.

3. If the household head cannot be present at a scheduled household meeting (of

course for a valid reason), he should not cancel the meeting. Rather, he must

refer the matter to the Unit Head. Together, they will agree on a replacement,

either one of the men from the household or another brother from the unit.

4. Exceptions to the weekly household meetings are the following:

a. During the week when the monthly prayer meeting is held.

b. When a whole household serves in a CLP. In this case, the household will

need to meet only two weeks out of four in a month, in addition to its weekly

service in the CLP.

� If the CLP is on the same day as the monthly chapter prayer meeting, the

household meets twice in a regular household meeting.

� If the CLP is not on the same day as the monthly chapter prayer meeting,

the household meets once in a regular household meeting and attends

the prayer meeting.

Continuing to meet is essential so that the members continue receiving

personal life support, and not just meet for service, which is the CLP.

c. During special times such as Holy Week and Christmas break.

B. Venue

The household meeting is to be held in the home of one of the members of the

group. The meeting place is rotated among the homes of each member.

Having the household meeting in the homes of the household members has the

following values:

1. Worshipping the Lord in our homes makes the truth that the home is a small

church a concrete reality. And God's blessings will surely descend upon the

home where God's people can be found, worshipping Him together and growing

in their faith together.

2. The people in our home – our brothers and sisters, maybe our parents, our

household help, the people who are closest to us and whom we love – will be

aware of what we are involved in and what we do every week. To them we will

become people who are living their Christian faith openly and powerfully.

3. What we do in our homes can be an effective tool for evangelism, especially to

our residential household, to our neighbors and to other relatives and friends.

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C. Ingredients of a Household Meeting

A typical household meeting would involve three indispensable ingredients: (1)

worship and prayer, (2) a time of sharing or teaching or discussion, and (3) some

time for fellowship. All three are very important and none should be skipped or

simply glossed over.

1. Worship.

a. The worship portion should include all the necessary ingredients: singing,

praising, thanksgiving, prayers of petition and intercession. Every member

should become familiar and comfortable with our way of worship and praise,

and the household head shows the way.

b. A typical format for the time of worship could be as follows:

� come before the Lord (may be a short period of silence and/or a short

exhortation from the leader)

� sing a lively song of praise

� simultaneous vocal praising

� sing another song, then more praising

� sing a worship song

� singing in tongues, followed by a short period of silence

� bring forward words from the Lord (prophecy, inspired Scripture verses,

exhortations) -individual prayers of thanksgiving

� individual prayers of petition and intercession

� closing prayer by the leader

c. Members should be exhorted by the head to participate actively in the

singing, praising and prayers of thanksgiving and petition. They should also

be encouraged to exercise the spiritual gifts of prophecy, inspired Scripture

reading and exhortation.

d. The household head leads in the worship. As a general rule, he should not

delegate his responsibility to the other men. However, every once in a while

(not too often), he may ask another brother to lead, for the purpose of

training. But most if not all the time, he leads.

e. Ideally, someone in the group should play the guitar. A piano or other

musical instrument would be alternatives, if available and practicable. If no

one can play, then it would be advisable to make use of our song tapes,

where songs have been arranged in groups of three precisely for use in

household worship.

f. The worship is done standing up for the whole duration. Exceptions would

be pregnant women and sick or weak members.

2. For the time of sharing, teaching or discussion in a joint household meeting,

single men and women may meet together. This arrangement depends, of

course, on what is to be taken up at the discretion of the household heads, and

with the permission of the Unit Head and Chapter Head.

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However, most of the time, SFC households should have separate meetings for

the male households and the women households. Some advantages of this

arrangement are as follows:

a. Members are more free to share, especially of their difficulties, when

members of the opposite gender are not around.

b. Practically speaking, there would not be enough time (at least quality time)

for everyone to share in a joint meeting.

c. It's an opportunity for the men to be supported by the brothers as Christian

men and the women by the sisters as Christian women.

3. The last part, fellowship, is the time for socializing.

a. The host of household meeting usually prepares a very simple snack. Here it

must be kept in mind that the food is incidental to the fellowship, rather than

the fellowship being centered on the food. Furthermore, no member should

be burdened by the snack's cost or needed time for preparation, nor should

any host ever be pressured in "keeping up" with a fellow member's

extravagance.

b. The host says the grace before the meal.

c. Absolutely no alcoholic beverages are to be served for this part of the

household meeting.

4. The evening ends with a short closing prayer by the head.

D. Duration

1. Ordinarily, the household meeting is held after dinner on a weekday. However,

other mutually acceptable times are possible. The whole meeting would

typically run for about 2 1/2 hours, as follows:

Worship – 30 minutes

Sharing/teaching/discussion – 60-90 minutes

Fellowship – 30-60 minutes

� Of course, there is some flexibility and there could be variations on the above

time frames.

2. As much as possible, household meetings should start at the agreed time, even if

not everyone has arrived. The household head should not wait for everyone. He

should not make the meeting and everyone else a captive of someone else's lack

of commitment to punctuality. Besides, this may be the only way to get chronic

latecomers to mend their ways. So if necessary, the household head should start

the worship even if only he and the host are around.

3. The meeting should not end too late, say, not later than 11 p.m. If the meeting

can start earlier, so much the better. If the meeting goes beyond 11 p.m., this

should be the exception rather than the rule.

E. Social Night

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1. The household may decide to have a social night on occasion. A social night is a

time devoted to fellowship, with no formal worship, discussion or sharing.

2. It is recommended that a social night be held once a quarter, on the month

where there is a 5th week. If the members want to have a social night more

often, then it should be done outside the time allocated for regular household

meetings. Some possibilities: meet during the prayer meeting week; or have a

Lord's Day celebration together.

3. Various activities are possible. Members may have dinner together, at a home or

outside, or go out somewhere together (at a party or disco, go bowling, etc.), or

even decide to have a whole-day outing. There is a lot of flexibility, and the idea

is just to enjoy each other's company socially and become intimate friends as

well as brothers and sisters in the Lord.

V. TOPICS FOR MEETINGS

A. For the first year (for new members right after the CLP), the household meetings are

used to follow up on the topics in the teaching program. Thus the first year would

look like this:

3 months – CLP

3 months – Follow up

1 day – Covenant Orientation


1 weekend – SWR I


� Manuals are provided for each of the two "Follow up" phases.

B. In the second year and beyond, the topics for the household meetings would

normally follow the following cycle:

1st week -- (Chapterl Prayer Meeting)

2nd week -- Personal sharing

3rd week -- Bible sharing

4th week -- Discussion of a Christian topic

The above cycle provides enough variety so as to make household meetings always

interesting and life giving. This cycle could go on and on, year in and year out. Of

course, the household head is free to deviate from this cycle as he sees fit.

C. Personal Sharing

Personal sharing is telling our brothers and sisters about what has been happening

in our lives for the past month, with a particular focus on what the Lord has been

doing in our lives. Personal sharing is an essential element in building up our

relationship with our brothers and sisters, as more and more we open up our lives to

them and they become an intimate part of our lives.

1. If the household head opts for personal sharing, it can either be done by just

encouraging the members to share as they are led, or by using a set of questions

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which can guide the members in their sharing. As a framework to provide shape

and direction, questions can be an effective means to lively personal interaction.

One can develop and use one's own questions, just so long as they suit the needs

of the members and can effectively draw out people.

2. Sample questions are as follows:

a. How have you grown in your relationship with the Lord? Have you come

before the Lord faithfully in personal prayer?

b. In what ways were you aware of the Lord's presence or action in your life

during the past week/month?

c. What has the Lord been teaching you in your prayer time or Scripture study

this week/month? How have you responded?

d. Have you conducted yourself righteously in thought, word or action?

e. In what ways has the Lord used you to serve others this past week/month?

f. What change has the Lord been asking you in order that you might grow in

loving your brothers and sisters?

D. Bible sharing

Bible sharing is a way for us to be more familiar with the Word of God, as we share

about it every month. Bible sharing is not Bible study as such, but a way of drawing

insights from the Bible and allowing God to speak to us personally through His

written Word.

Various methods of Bible sharing could be utilized. We however recommend the "7

step" method of Bible sharing.

E. Topical discussion

This is a time for formal discussion of a Christian topic. These topics could be

anything that has to do with the Christian life, which would be profitable for our

members to gain greater understanding. Especially recommended are those topics

that have to do with the life, mission, covenant and culture of SFC.

1. For example, such topics are:

a. personal daily prayer time

b. daily reading of the Bible

c. living fully the Christian life

� avoidance of wrongdoing

� good order in private life

� participation in Church life

d. living as a good Christian in our family

e. Christian manly and womanly character

f. Christian courtship

g. Christian service

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h. Christian fellowship

i. priority setting/weekly schedule

j. TV and media

k. spiritual gifts

2. Furthermore, certain publications, sharings or teachings may provide the

impetus for a household meeting topic, to wit:

a. Teachings contained in our newsletter, the Ugnayan.

b. Topics contained in the various books that we publish.

c. Articles of interest in "God's Word Today" or other similar prayer or Scripture

guides.

d. Teachings or exhortations given at the monthly prayer meeting.

e. Taped talks or teachings by renowned personages.

F. It should be noticed that this cycle of topics for the second year and beyond is such

that there is no burden on the household head to be always thinking up of what to

take up during the household meetings.

1. For personal sharing, the household head would simply moderate the sharing

and keep the interaction active and life giving.

2. For the Bible sharing, the household head merely chooses the particular verses

to be taken up.

3. For the topical discussion, the household head chooses the topic, taking from the

vast array of materials available to him. If for example he takes up the "Growing

in the Lord" article in the Ugnayan, even the discussion starters are already

provided. Thus he simply moderates the discussion.

Thus the household leaders are not burdened by "technical" preparation for the

meetings, but can focus more on "spiritual" preparation.

G. This cycle is something the household head is free to follow or not. The household

head has a good amount of flexibility as to how to handle the household meeting

and what to take up. The important thing is that the conduct of the meeting

contributes to the achievement of the stated purpose of our having households and

that is to build an environment of support for the Christian life of our members.

VI. RELATIONSHIP WITH THE UNIT HEAD

A. The Unit Head is the pastor of the unit to which households belong. As such, he has

overall responsibility for the service of household heads in his unit.

B. The Unit Head has the authority coming from the CFC Council to back him up. As

such, the household head needs to look to him with respect and in obedience with

regard to his service.

C. The household head needs to look upon his Unit Head as someone there for him, to

help him perform his duties more effectively. The household head should not look

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upon his household as his own turf that is not to be invaded by his Unit Head. The

household head is to be fully open to his Unit Head and be eager to have his input

on any matter involving his service.

D. The household head focuses on facilitating discussion and developing brotherhood

and sisterhood in the household group. He is not expected to exercise pastoral

leadership over the group, but he would normally encounter certain pastoral

challenges which he should refer to his Unit Head.

E. The household head, either singly or together with other household heads of the

unit, meets with the Unit Head once a month for a service meeting. The meeting

shall dwell on any or all of the following:

1. Reporting in general on how the members of the household are doing.

2. Receiving pastoral guidance and direction in handling of the singles.

3. Discussion and resolution of problems or issues brought up.

4. Report on faithfulness in attendance (at household meetings, prayer meetings

and other activities) and in financial giving.

5. Identification of and discussion of training exposure for potential leaders.

6. Administrative matters.

F. The household head needs to keep the Unit Head informed and updated regarding

his members, since the Unit Head does not have regular direct contact with them

but is, as pastor, still responsible for everyone. Thus occasional feedback and the

regular monthly service meeting are essential.

Following are some areas of pastoral concern for the Unit Head:

1. Household

a. Are the men or women relating to one another well?

b. Are they free to share with one another?

c. Do they worship freely together?

d. Do they ever do anything together outside of the household meeting?

e. How is their general attitude towards SFC?

2. Individual members.

a. How are they growing in Christ?

b. Daily prayer?

c. Relationship with parents? With brothers? With boyfriend or girlfriend?

d. Relationship with authority? To the household head, to the Unit Head,

overall to SFC?

e. Problems if any.

3. Time and service.

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a. Do they have enough time for themselves, family, job and service?

b. How are they experiencing their service?

c. Are they growing in confidence? Do they need more help?

VII. GROUP ACTIVITIES

A. Aside from what has been taken up as proper to the activities of a household group,

there are many other things that can be done as well. It is up to the household head

to discern the needs of his members individually and as a group, and to act

accordingly. These other activities may be in lieu of the normal household activity

(with approval of the Unit Head) or in addition to it. Some such activities are:

1. Healing sessions/praying over

2. Intercessory prayers

3. One-to-one

4. Video sessions

5. Socials (sports, outings, picnics, etc.)

6. Lord's Day celebration

B. Other activities are welcome so long as they make a positive contribution to the

support and strengthening of the Christian life of single men and women, within the

context of SFC.

SFC-HHT-Manual-2011.pdf

Documents

new household leaders

sfc chapter heads

sfc unit heads

evangelization training

facilitators training

sfc discerned leaders

covenant orientation

workshops hho