session 4 the Pressure of WorDs - Clover Sitesstorage.cloversites.com/maysvillebaptistchurchinc/... · bird, or animal is tamed and has been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame the

session 4

the Pressure of WorDs

4 6 S E S S I O N 4 © 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay

The PointFuel your words with wisdom and gentleness.

The Bible Meets LifeOur culture lives in two extremes. At one end is the crowd that calls for political

correctness. Don’t even hint at something that might offend the views of another

person or group. At the other end is the group led by stand-up comedians: say

whatever you want in whatever way you want. There is a continual pressure to

say the right words in the non-offending way, but it is too often easier just to

relieve the pressure and let words spew. The person who can use words wisely is

the person who has found the biblical balance between these two extremes.

The PassageJames 3:1-18

The SettingJames addressed the great impact a believer’s speech can have on others. Using

several word pictures—controlling a horse, steering a ship, igniting a forest fire,

and taming an animal— James shows the power behind the tongue. He calls us

to a life of consistent speech. James also calls believers to seek the wisdom that

only comes from God.

B i B l e S t u d i e S f o r l i f e 47© 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay

James 3:1-18 (HCSB)

1 not many should become teachers, my brothers, knowing that we will receive a stricter judgment, 2 for we all stumble in many ways. if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a mature man who is also able to control his whole body. 3 now when we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we also guide the whole animal. 4 and consider ships: though very large and driven by fierce winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 so too, though the tongue is a small part of the body, it boasts great things. Consider how large a forest a small fire ignites. 6 and the tongue is a fire. the tongue, a world of unrighteousness, is placed among the parts of our bodies. it pollutes the whole body, sets the course of life on fire, and is set on fire by hell. 7 every sea creature, reptile, bird, or animal is tamed and has been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame the tongue. it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

9 We praise our lord and father with it, and we curse men who are made in God’s likeness with it. 10 Praising and cursing come out of the same mouth. my brothers, these things should not be this way. 11 Does a spring pour out sweet and bitter water from the same opening? 12 Can a fig tree produce olives, my brothers, or a grapevine produce figs? neither can a saltwater spring yield fresh water.

13 Who is wise and has understanding among you? he should show his works by good conduct with wisdom’s gentleness. 14 But if you have bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart, don’t brag and deny the truth. 15 such wisdom does not come from above but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 for where envy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every kind of evil. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, without favoritism and hypocrisy. 18 and the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace.

Key Words

a world of unrighteousness (v. 6) – Uncontrolled words activate all the world’s wickedness.

a restless evil (v. 8) – Restless is translated unstable in 1:8 The tongue is treacherous, inconsistent, and uninhibited, always looking for trouble and creating mischief.

Praising and cursing (v. 10) – The tongue can heal or wound.

What does the Bible say?


GEt iNto thE StuDYDISCUSS: the opening question on

page 39 of the PSG: “When did your

mouth get you into trouble?”

GUIDE: Invite opinions on whether it’s

easier to get into trouble with words or to

stay out of trouble with words. Speculate

on why this might be so. Find examples

of each in “The Bible Meets Life” on page

40 of the PSG.

SAY: “Words have power. The old adage,

‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me’ simply isn’t true.”

ENHANCEMENT: Display Pack Item 3: “Power of Words” to move the group to

grasp the power of words.

READ: The Point at the top of “The Bible Meets Life” section on page 40 of the PSG:

“Fuel your words with wisdom and gentleness.”

ENHANCEMENT: Use Pack Item 1: “Pressure Points” to recognize how pressures

are affected by words.

TRANSITION: In this Bible study we’ll find ways to use our words to help rather than

to hurt.

PRAY: Ask God to show us how to manage our words.

Notes

10 minutes

B i B l e S t u d i e S f o r l i f e 4 9

thE PoiNt Fuel your words with wisdom and gentleness.

© 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay

Notes

James 3:1-8

1 Not many should become teachers, my brothers, knowing that we will

receive a stricter judgment, 2 for we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does

not stumble in what he says, he is a mature man who is also able to control

his whole body. 3 Now when we put bits into the mouths of horses to make

them obey us, we also guide the whole animal. 4 And consider ships: Though

very large and driven by fierce winds, they are guided by a very small rudder

wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So too, though the tongue is a small

part of the body, it boasts great things. Consider how large a forest a small

fire ignites. 6 And the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of unrighteousness,

is placed among the parts of our bodies. It pollutes the whole body, sets the

course of life on fire, and is set on fire by hell. 7 Every sea creature, reptile,

bird, or animal is tamed and has been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame

the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

READ: James 3:1-8 on page 41 of the PSG.

SAY: “James understood that, before we discover what to say and not say, we

must first realize the power of our tongue. It is like a bit, a rudder, and a fire.” The

commentary across from this page offers more details.

DISCUSS: Question #2 on page 42 of the PSG: ”How have you seen words

act like fire or as poison?”

GUIDE: Identify the forms of destructive words in the first paragraph of the

“James 3:1-8” section on page 42 of the PSG.

TRANSITION: Next we’ll find how our tongues, without the Holy Spirit, are not

only powerful, but inconsistent.

StuDY thE BiBLE5 minutes


James 3:1-8 Commentary

James opened this section with the role and the responsibility of teachers, an office in the church.

Addressing his readers as my brothers indicated his instructions were intended for all believers. Few

are called to be teachers, but all believers have the responsibility to watch what they say.

The mature person controls the whole body, including the tongue. Though the tongue is small, the

words that flow from it are significant and powerful. James employed three word pictures to illustrate

the magnitude of our words. First, our words are as effective as the bits in horses’ mouths. The verb for

keeping the body under control also refers to bridling and controlling a horse. Although small, the bit is

highly influential. Likewise, our words control the direction of our life and others’ lives.

Second, our words are as powerful as a rudder that guides a great ship. In comparison to the ship, the

rudder is tiny. Yet it can control a large ship, even in a storm. If we don’t like the direction we are headed,

we should change the way we talk both to ourselves and to others. Third, our words are as damaging as

fire. Gossip, slander, and rumor spread quickly, wreaking havoc. As fire burns and hurts, so can words.

And like fire, the more fuel you give it, the faster and farther it will spread. Even after we confess our sins

of speech, the fire might keep on spreading. The tongue can pollute or stain a life. Our words can lead us

to become part of the wickedness that dominates the world. Scripture identifies hell as the place where

the wicked will be punished in the next world. In another powerful image, James insisted the tongue

is a fire. Words that spark great fires of conflict and dissension have their source in another fire—hell.

Course may mean wheel, indicating the whole of living. Life can indicate birth or origin. Our words

affect the cycle of life from birth onward. They create a chain reaction. The devastating effects of

words, once unloosed, are beyond our control, potentially bringing corruption to our life and other’s

lives. Interestingly, James employed the same word translated “restless” in 1:8 where it is translated

“unstable.” Like a wild animal that stalks, seizes, and slaughters its prey, so do certain words. If you have

ever driven through a safari park, you have noticed the signs posted: “Stay in your vehicle. Do not lower

your windows.” Why? While the animals look peaceful and tame, they could attack without warning.

The word for poison means venom. A few drops can kill. Poison’s nature is that it works secretly, then

kills. Anyone can inject a morsel of poison into a conversation that destroys a targeted person, or people

not even targeted. Poisonous words damage people, churches, and families. No one would turn a lion

or snake loose in their homes or their churches, yet uncontrolled people are loose all around.

B i B l e S t u d i e S f o r l i f e 51



Notes

James 3:9-12

9 We praise our Lord and Father with it, and we curse men who are made in

God’s likeness with it. 10 Praising and cursing come out of the same mouth.

My brothers, these things should not be this way. 11 Does a spring pour out

sweet and bitter water from the same opening? 12 Can a fig tree produce

olives, my brothers, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a saltwater

spring yield fresh water.

READ: James 3:9-12 on page 41 of the PSG.

GUIDE: Call attention to the quote in the “James 3:9-12” section on page 43 of the

PSG. Ask for reasons we yearn for kind words.

DISCUSS: Question #3 on page 43 of the PSG: ”Why do we remember

negative words more than positive words?”

SAY: “Let’s state the obvious: it’s tough to be a person of consistent character and

speech. We need the power of the Holy Spirit to succeed at it.”

TRANSITION: The next verses will show us the wisdom His Spirit can give us.

StuDY thE BiBLE

tip: In three days, text or email group members to remind them about the truths of the session.

10 minutes

52 S E S S I O N 4 © 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay


Our words reveal who we are, where we are going, what we believe about God and people. We shape

our words and our words shape us. James’ 3:1-8 point with the bit, rudder, fire, and tongue is that words

seem small but their effect, for better or worse, is massive.

Sadly our words are inconsistent. The same mouth utters blessing and cursing. Cursing includes abusive

and insulting speech, as well as that which is profane or calls down evil on another. It reveals the double

standard of using our words to extol God and to malign people. This inconsistency should not exist in a

believer. Inconsistent people are hard to trust, difficult to love, and often avoided.

James looked to nature to further drive home the inconsistency of words. One would not find a single

spring spewing forth both fresh water and salt water. Neither will a tree produce two different fruits.

Nature is consistent. Whatever is in the spring comes out in the water. Whatever is in the tree comes out

in the fruit. What is in the heart of a person will come out in words. If our words are inconsistent, there is

something radically wrong with the heart. What’s inside will eventually come out.

Sometimes people get angry and say hurtful things, then seek to rationalize their inconsistent and

insensitive words by saying they do not know what got into them, that it is not like them to say such

things. James would say that it is just like them—for whatever is inside will come out. The challenge

for both men and women is to use words in ways that honor God and promote goodwill and better

relations with one another. In many regards, believers are in the pressure cooker every day faced with a

choice to use words in a positive and godly way for the benefit of themselves and others.

For that to happen on a consistent basis, we need to seek God’s wisdom and allow Him to control

our words. Wisdom, a deep-seated understanding, comes from God, enabling us to live and to speak

according to His Word. To speak with wisdom we don’t need tongue transplants; we need heart

transplants. The tongue only reveals what’s in the heart. To speak with wisdom, allow God to change

your heart, giving a new spirit, a new attitude, and a new outlook. We also need a mind renewal (Rom.

12:2). Since all sins, including the sins of the tongue, originate inside us, we need the mind of Christ to

speak blessing, striving for peace in our relationships. The mind of Christ comes from the Word of God.

Daily we allow God’s Word to saturate our minds with God’s wisdom as we read, reflect, and recall God’s

truth, promises, and instructions. We also need moment-by-moment assistance that comes as we pray

unceasingly. Each day we ask for God’s help to control our tongues and manage our mouths. Wisdom

realizes we need a higher and stronger power to control our words. We can’t accomplish it on our own.




Notes

James 3:13-18

13 Who is wise and has understanding among you? He should show his works

by good conduct with wisdom’s gentleness. 14 But if you have bitter envy and

selfish ambition in your heart, don’t brag and deny the truth. 15 Such wisdom

does not come from above but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where

envy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every kind of evil. 17 But

the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant,

full of mercy and good fruits, without favoritism and hypocrisy. 18 And the

fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who cultivate peace.

SAY: “Our only hope for using our words for good, rather than evil, is to seek and

follow God’s wisdom in how we speak to others.”

READ: Ask a member to read James 3:13-18 on page 41 of the PSG.

DISCUSS: Question #4 on page 44 of the PSG: ”How do our words define

who we are?”

DISCUSS: Question #5 on page 45 of the PSG: ”When has your life been

changed by wise and gentle words?”

DO: Invite group members to practice using words wisely with the activity on

page 45 of the PSG. Reread James 3:16-17 to highlight two types of words that can

come from our mouths.

What Do You Say?

She asks you, “Does this outfit look good on me?” It doesn’t ...

An incompetent coworker calls you down in a meeting ...

TRANSITION: We’ll conclude with practical actions we can take to choose

wise words.

StuDY thE BiBLE

tip: People remember more when several senses are involved. Use visual aids or music to engage other senses.

15 minutes



Since we have to use words in daily life, and since our natural bent is to use our words in an unhealthy

if not destructive way, what are we to do? James recommended speaking wisely. Four times he used

wise or wisdom. Wisdom carries a practical element in making correct and upright decisions based

on God’s Word. As powerful as the tongue is, wisdom is more powerful. A wise person demonstrates

good conduct and gentleness. The wise person demonstrates meekness, resulting in the power of

their words being under control. This person lives by positive attitudes, godly actions, and uplifting

words. Such a one uses words that accomplish good in all relationships. His talk matches his walk.

The opposite of wisdom is jealousy, selfishness, bragging, and disregard for truth-telling. Bitter means

contentious or controversial while envy indicates a divisive or partisan spirit. Such behavior is not from

God. It is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. The last term includes both action by Satan and resistance by

people to God and His Spirit. Such words and behavior produce disorder and evil. The word translated

disorder is related to the word unstable in 1:8 and restless in 3:8. A person harboring these traits is self-

centered, desiring personal gain and selfish agendas. Such speech leads to chaos and confusion. Such

speech causes riots and insurrection, warring families, split churches, and broken friendships.

The wisdom needed to speak to others properly is characterized by eight qualities. The first quality

is pure or holy desires, pertaining to whatever is of God. Peace-loving communicates strife-free

lifestyle with others, living in a harmonious spirit, the opposite of envy-induced disorder. Gentle or

patient behavior is needed. Compliant describes not a passiveness but a readiness to intentionally

yield in actions that lead to peace. Such a person is open to reason and prepared to learn from

the knowledge, experience, and wisdom of others. Full of mercy means not holding grudges against

others, but instead demonstrating compassion. Good fruits (that is, righteousness, v. 18) are needed

as an antidote to the “deadly poison” (3:8) of the tongue. Without favoritism means to respond

to others without prejudice. Demonstrating no hypocrisy means to live an honest or genuine life

without pretense, where one’s actions match one’s words and truth is sought. People demonstrating

these qualities will relate to others in ways that banish discord and disunity. The result will be the fruit

of righteousness that produces peace in relationships and protects Christian unity.

The last bit of wisdom is very practical: think before you speak. Earlier, James wrote that everyone must

be “quick to hear, slow to speak” (Jas. 1:19). The order is essential: listen, then speak. When we reverse

the order and speak before listening, people get hurt and anger ensues.




Notes

LiVE it outGUIDE: Direct group members to each choose to do one of the three actions

under the “Live It Out” section on page 46 of the PSG:

> Pray before you open your mouth. Put James 3:13-18 into practice. Seek God’s wisdom in what to say and how to say it.

> For a week, keep a log of family conversations. Were your words more a “blessing” or a “curse?”

> Apologize. If your words have gotten you into trouble, contact the person and use a different set of words: an apology.

Wrap It Up

GUIDE: Your words have power to nourish or to destroy. It’s your choice.

Choose to keep your mouth out of trouble.

5 minutes

56 S E S S I O N 4 © 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay

My group's prayer requests

Additional suggestions for specific groups (women, men, parents, boomers, and singles)

are available at BibleStudiesforLife.com/blog.

Fuggeddaboudditt

“ARE YOU IN THE MAFIA?” the woman asked as we stood in the lobby. I was the featured speaker at a women’s seminar. She was as serious as a hit man and continued: “All Eye-Talians are in the Mafia, aren’t they?” For one of the rare times in my life, I was speechless and wondered, Is this woman seriously asking me, “When you’re not being a Christian speaker, do you and ‘Uncle Tony’ throw people wearing cement shoes in the East River?” Yes, she was. I replied in my best guest-speaker voice, “Everyone in my family is a Christian. I don’t know anyone in the Mafia.”

to continue reading “fuggeddaboudditt” from More Living magazine, visit BibleStudiesforLife.com/articles.

WWW.LIFEW

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My Daughter’sWedding Day:PRAYER ANSWERED

A GRANDNAME GAMEFOR GRANDPARENTS

REFILL YOUR EMPTY NESTTHE ADOPTION OPTION Talking About

My Generation 5 Boomer Leaders

Tell It Like It Was (and is)

DO WHAT MATTERSUSE YOUR SKILLS TO SERVE YOUR CHURCH

7 DAYS WITHOUTGoogle?

Marie Armenia

COLUMN: BOOMER HUMOR

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Fuggeddaboudditt

“ARE YOU IN THE MAFIA?” the woman asked as we stood

in the lobby. I was the featured

speaker at a women’s seminar.

She was as serious as a hit man

and continued: “All Eye-Talians

are in the Mafia, aren’t they?”

For one of the rare times

in my life, I was speechless

and wondered, Is this woman

seriously asking me, “When

you’re not being a Christian

speaker, do you and ‘Uncle

Tony’ throw people wearing

cement shoes in the East

River?” Yes, she was.

I replied in my best guest-

speaker voice, “Everyone in

my family is a Christian. I don’t

know anyone in the Mafia.”

She replied, “Well, I could tell

you were Eye-Talian because of

that bump on your nose. When I

heard your annoying New York

accent, I was sure you were in

the Mafia.” Then she walked

away. I imagined running after

her, hitting her with a hymn-

book, and whispering in her

ear, “Uncle Tony sent me!”

Stereotyping definitely stifles

a more loving existence. I’d

like to dispel a few stereotypes

some may have about New

Yorkers of Italian descent:

• All New Yorkers are bossy.

I prefer, “Many of us fully use

our spiritual gift of adminis-

tration and are not afraid to

assume responsibility.”

• All Italians eat pasta at

every meal. Not really. Every

couple of months, when the

boat from Naples is late, we

might eat an apple.

• All New York Italians say

“Fuggeddaboudditt!” 75,000 times

an hour, 24 hours a day. Well, we

do sleep a few hours a day.

Sentences describing stereo-

types place emphasis on the

word all. God is the only One

whose stereotypes are accurate:

• “All have sinned and fall

short of the glory of God”

(Romans 3:23).

• All “are justified freely by

His grace through the redemp-

tion that is in Christ Jesus”

(Romans 3:24).

• The Lord does not want

“any to perish but all to come to

repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).

One Sunday, while visiting

my home church in New York,

I heard a man named Gus

speak about his conversion.

Gus would have answered “yes”

to the question the woman

in the church lobby asked.

He finished his testimony by

saying, “I kept reminding God

of all the bad I had done, just to

be sure He knew who He was

forgiving. Then I heard Him

speak to my heart, and say,

‘Fuggeddaboudditt!’ I knew my

sins were gone forever.”

My personal vocabulary

doesn’t include the word

Fuggeddaboudditt. But as I

looked at Gus’s glowing face

that day, I knew the Holy Spirit

had communicated clearly to

Gus, in just one word, God’s

amazing grace.

Marie Armenia is a gifted writer, songwriter, and speaker who may one day write a book about the weird things people say to her at women’s conferences.

“When you’re not being

a Christian speaker, do

you throw people

wearing cement shoes

in the East River?”

56 MORE LIVING NOVEMBER 2012

B i B l e S t u d i e S f o r l i f e 57© 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay

session 4 the Pressure of WorDs - Clover Sitesstorage.cloversites.com/maysvillebaptistchurchinc/... · bird, or animal is tamed and has been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame the

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