September Issue

Bangor AYE October e0le

September fssuetutober eOfeBangor

Published by}frUSK

Men will neyerbe free until

the last king isstrangled with

the entrails ofthe last priest.

Denis Did,erot(y?yfi*yra+|

BANGORAYE4m. I..Fq,f fl,,m..AYe

--uk-{)r'eel ing"s ltr.rrrlr.r. ru rr I \\ (.lr.onr(,.

ll firn llrr. Sr.;ll(,nrllr.r. lsslr(. oll?u,ngut' 1),'. Nol'l lr(.r,n lr,(.larrd'syrt'rniurrr l.r'rrI rr(.\\ sl)al)('r: llt.lirrtl\'{*t llrrurrt nr(. irr llrr. llirr. l)lt,asclakt: i.t tn()nrr.rrl lo r.(.alisr, llult. Iani fintplurlir.rrll.r \( )'l' l r.t.ligiorrsIr',t('|. I iurr llnrrsinl]', rlirerlittginrd lvil lrottl r'(.sl t.rti t t l .'l'tt(,..v ltit,dtu slrtrl rrr(. rlotrrr lrrrI rriLIl ,1.(]ur.lreI1l arrrl aI'l r.r, lirru. f'attlaslit,issrr(,s. l'1n sl ill lr(.r.t. ;r r rr l ll*s t irrrt,['lrt seri()us. \\r.ilt. nle {*1r{:(.

lr:l;:trr$. 'l'lt(. l)'r, n,ill ltrinl,

WM

{:ln)1 lr i ng. I1oil{,,sil h,. If' \t(tu }ritvc

unYl,lling ln sir_,\,, serttl it lrlltittt:Etrra,r(i;inlt,x.(.{}nl ttt*d il w,i II

al;,tltt'at' ir* 1tt:inl. \o ,jukt,. ()rrr.e:irtulaliou is uf ) lry u,lxrul;, ttvelvt.rnilhitn ]t(:,r: r..eil t, s* l:ltr\, r,rI I rit'"tw'i,lj ltt roit/l ln l,lun,tsttt-ttls ttl'

[x,(]plt'r. IiSanS(]r i]lrr,,adv lr;ls ?l

ltu)]r,lirt l:rta,t]: 'l'/rr Sprrt r.t\r tt, , \t't't*irut to #$ lx:vonr:,'l llrrr.r r(:lrorltlgl,'antl givt'r.)ur' \\(:ir:d rtr,et.l l.t,twtt

lvlvll it sur{:ly lw,t:t"ls, * t.t';,tlltr, ['r((?I'C}SS,( i t't il ot r t o' 1,r,.

NII

Bangor AYE Contents OA

fmBressum

September fssueOctober eALe

EditorsConrad Macintosh

Magdalaine Morrow

Design & LayoutLala Black

Staff WritersSpencer Hollyhock

Cessi} KraneAlan PrittEric lllright

Travel rrTritersHamy Ersklne

SportJr il?es Hullington

Rocky Peaks

FeuilletonPeter Yorchek

Freeman Fenrrlick*Smythe

Michael BeIIDlsco Stu

Oerd,a Dunnes

Print Runeooo

Printed byDavenport

Specialist Printing

Published byI\dUSK

Lrwr'lv Stu ft in this IssH$Cov<:r Sttrr:l. - Vronl ?agc

,'1il i./itr rrt ,,11,(

\cws Soull r l,ag1t' :ict1,p$'il

I /ow, " I l,; ';rl(,t'iil ,lr..7i ,llr" ltt'tt irt /rrt t I "r,rt tr:r' rtltou t?,b.fi, l)olit irrr/{ ) t,,t: t, (,'rt rtt ll,t 11i..i i

I'l::>t't,r'_y'' {)ol'rr(}r s Pafft 6(.'nrri(r llrtga',r ltv \lliclt;l(l [}cIIr+, /t n,! '.s t /tt, ttt.tt,l kr'? litv '{,',,,1.

'l|alking,.llib llangorians s 0f)ln tlris ptlitjon w( talk to,,1{t\ fit* I rl orvs(}n -(,.)uigg *hqnil|tlintgor p*iit irs and l'r?t" Kiosk htIlte'Walled Gartlerrr

tiil IT out o'r'c! - Pagt I I(,|lti rr iorrs

Arr tilcgilnt, Str tficicnct' - I'agt, l2S1rt'l n{'Q,\t' I lolh'}rork cni(}r's fi ntrrilt.tI)$ l;,ttit"s itt (',tryle's

Whcn t I[as [n lntlia s Pagr llt'li?w' slot'\, (,,crzl itt t tes i n

Prtt'l I l'- 11' rtff)u n l(t' ll"it lt,,l .\ nc kt:,,,,\r1. otr Sport.s s Pagr I tt

{\r'itti alxtrr I .t lrt, s}}() r:littg [ritst i rr

(rltL' ltwtr/offt l,ru#u( lttytrtr"l i,trrrI f{olu{} Io rii}li r w,ilh ;rn (),{f'-.\rfi.rfin

.lpru:irtI Ltt, ltt;ckl, l'*,tlkcsIii.trillcl.on s Yagr 2{J

Ocvvk:'s \lir N iglu ltcvir,'rr''|\tolt S plr tr(Reriye ti<x'nr.r.

Bangor AYE lilews Soup O5

N

ew$$(}

u

" Le g A I [,or4{i', ffys(efialAnti-alcohol group FAD(Federation Against Drink) haswarned that Bangorians are facingincreasing dangers from anotorious

-'legal low" known on the

streets as "drink". lt's incrediblyeasy to buy "Alcohol" on thestreets or on the internet, where itis labeled with misleading screedsabout hints of citrus and "goodlegs". ln fact these "bottles" ofpure alcoholic DEATH are beingfreely and recklessly consumed byyoung, out of control thrillseekers right now, outside your'very window!!!

This 'legal low' is frequentlymarketed as mimicking {quitebadly) the effects of illegal drugslike ecstasy, cocaine or "acid" butthis week FAD officials warnedthat the substance can havedevastating effects on the rnindsand bodies of users.

'nWe've seen the impact thatalcohol can have on people whohave taken it. We've seen peoplesufferinq very severe after-effectswhen using this substance,"babbled FAD's head of Outrage,

"We've even had people at ourdoor who are 'Polydrug' u$ers,people who have experience otClass A drugs, and they're tellingus that this so-called "DrinV' hasside-effects that are ar bad, orEven Worse than anything elsethey've ever, ever used!"

HECTIC."The consequences of this 'Legal-Lou/ can be really quite hectic.

Contact us: rubangoraye@inbox,combangorAYE @bangoreyeruews

We've spoken to young peoplewho have been left feeli ngsuicidal , who have beenhallucinating, who have haduncontrollable paranoia or anger.That then has a turther impact ontheir lives, leading to breakdownsin their families and in theirrelationships."

Alcohol is legal to sell even if itisn't clearly labelled *not forhuman con$umpti0n". Thismeans that vendors can claim thatthey are selling it in good faith toinnocent customers who want toclean their drains with ethanol andaren't just going to sit aroundgetting wasted watching TOWIE.

"lt's a loophole," claimed theenraged FAD representative, --but

the fact that alcohol is legal canlead some young people tobelieve it's safe. It'g not truen wOsirnply don't know what taking thiswill do to anyone and it's incrediblyrisky."

MENTAL."The Legal-Low Sub cultureexploded fifty-odd years agowhenever the USA tried to banalcohol and the whole thing blewup in their idiotic faces" Suddenlyyou had a widely available drugdoing the rounds at parties andthat led to a lot of Young Peopleexperimenting with it - even somewho may have been opposed totaking'illegal' drugs."

Bangor AYE News Soup 04

wowFAD has joined with a renownedNDBC comb-over in an attempt to getits message out. The link-up happenedafter the hair-cut saw the problemswith legal lows first hand during its"voluntee( work in Bangor's late nighttown centre.

-'l wa$ in Bangor receRtly and I saw

a young guy walk out of a barn" thecomb-over said, even though it wasn'tabout to tell a funny story. "l found hirnmoving about the sunken gardens areaof the seafront. He was confused; hehad no idea where he was or what hewas doing. We got talking and I knewfrom rny training course$ that he wastotally 'bladdered' . He named $omecommon drinks and said that he hadgot a hold of them locally. lt wasn't thefirst time l'd met a 'booze-hound' but I

was ta ke n a ba ck by just h owabsolutely 'hammered'this guy was. ltwas clear that he was in no fit state to

look after himself and neither was l,having drunk ten pints of white ciderbefore heading out""

The situation has now reached feverpitch with rumours circulating thatalcohol is being widely used in thehighest "positions" of government.The Aye can say with certainty that ahighly refined form of the drug * knowncornmonly on the street as "bubbly"was being used openly during a recentMayoral garden party at the town hall.Lock up your daughters and householdpets; here comes Armageddon.

The Office,fbr J$utionul Stutistics statesthat in the LfK ul.one, smoking killedBl,4{}0 peaple in 2{}10. Alcohol killed{1,V90. Cunnuhis wos reluted to 2cle aths (as wus rnesslredrone) whilePnrncetnmol ki|led Itt.

Drink.... Just Because. CK

What's that letter about?There was a sad letter from CouncillorTom Smith in th* Spectator o{ August34, 2012. Hs quite rightly condemnsths mugging of elderly people as a'disgraceful and despicable aet'. Anyattack on a psrson is a serious offenceand the e ld erly are partrcul arlyvulnerable . He uses the statistics ofburglaries against e lderly people tohighlight thc low level o{ arrests forsuch crimes only 4 out of 113 inZA|U n, hs writes. On the face a{ it apretty miserable result.

But is the answer to tackling thiskind of crime to wrtte letl.ers to thenowsp aper calling the perpetratorsoscum' and advocating that they be putin prison 'for a vwy long time '? SurelyMr. Smith as a member of the Ards

Police Commu nity Safety P artnershipsis in a position to discuss the problemsclirectly with the PSNI so what does hehope to achteve by writing fo the localnewspaper? Maybe he wishes to becongratulated for his advocation ofexfteme measures on punishment? Toridicule the PSNI for their appar*ntinconrpetence? It cannot be just selfpublicityr can rt'!

Of co*rse the question has to beasked, i{ Mr. Sn:ith identifies thosewho attack old peaple as 'Ecum' andproposes condemning thent to verylong prison sentences, what does hecall the -loyalists' in Belfast whoattack and wound over 60 policemenand what punishment would he sug gestfor them? HE

Bangor AYE News $oup 05

fra/t Boo* e/uife"A/tv -5 6ois reading S*/astian fr.ufts,4 il*;(' in b*c*n6*rz?th Oeto6*r zO,2t d c/x( tn the 6ac* root4

PoliticAl Over-CombsThe Spectator is weekly awash withphotos of councillors frowning andpointing at broken winrJows whiletheir hair cuts fight a losing battleagainst inclement weather. Thesepictures and the stories thataccompany them i#e there toillustrate how hard our councillorsate working to sort our problems out.I can't be the only one whosometimes wondcrs what goes onoff-camera.

A letter in the Spectator's ever*shrinking Opinfum secrion ( 13thSeptember) repofis that an unnamedmember of the DUP recently refusedto sign a local voter's apphcation foran Irish passport. The lettw writerquotes ttre official concerned as

saying, *'f can't sign that, I'm amember of the DuP."

The Aye wrote an email to AlexEaston, one of the most prominentmembers of thc Bangor DI.JP, askingif this kind of a Gaction is prescribedby official party policy. Mr. Easton

replied, saying that he was not theMLA involv&d, even though the Avehacl at. no point suggested that hewas. Mr. Easton went on to say thatwe shoulcl contact HQ in Belfast withany questions we may have aboutofficial party policy.

On speaking to 'd member of theDUP press division at the Belfastheadquarters, we were informed thatthere was absolutely no policy thatwould prevent .e party member fromsigning any type of passpoff fordconstituent. So bastcally, wheneverthe DUP member described in theaforementioned letter failed to sign ilpassport, this failure dependedentirely on person ally held belietsthat do not hold with the party line.What is more, this MLA is stillroaring about the countrysidefrowning at things and getting theirhair-cut lovingly photographed bythe Spec. Don't have nightmares.AP

starrings swoop the sky withA thought and a thousand wings,

Juiceress jaffa rights lurchDown on everythingf.

Unreached, an eerie blu€,Unurelcome but beckoningr .

shimmering images shine untrue,Night lights invisibre heckringr .Burst onto a street of bright,

All awash with deadshoppers who've rost their sight

with advertised eyes instead.carrier bag carrying compurso ry

clasped in a clutch of feathers.consistentry acting impursi_ve Ly ,Always flocking together.

Then sink into a side stre et-,The wercome warrnth of da rk,starrings sweep a hide and seek

High above the park.watch this skydance silhouette

f,ike a tatty f 1applng f} eg,Furious frutter, east to west

Not carrying carrier bag[s.

!{ichael BeII

r.uuuJ. .tr0eufy ()6

what's goin-[on with allthe stuff?

what's goingon rvith all*this stuff?

what'p fhgmatter?

what'shappening rothis energy?

Iike acrippledunlverse

it cannotbreathe.

changingmatter,

ch3n*ui!_eform'i

constructionancl

destruction.

Iike titchyscrews

t.

ln a masslveclock

not sure oftheir

purpose.

TJ.

6et lT ,uf .'Yell[*tt'\'()u got it slor'\ ,\(lurvottlrl likt: lu lrll:tIs t.lrr'fl s(]rrrt't,lrirri;

.tr (]u'\'r,

;rlrvlr.r's w'anlrtl to #q,l ufl''

.1'()ll r t'[tt'sl i' ( ] t' t ltl .vt]ujrrst fi:t.l Iikt' a r1,'(.(. r';rrrt,)

llrtl1r us iln (,-nlail 'Jl':

I lit rr grl 1;1 i111" y{ct':i n I xr r.{'()nrtll'It'avt' il ('()IIilnt'ttl ()n

{,tIr' liu't'lxxtk 1 xrgr':

l'&('b()()k.{'()nrllangrlr'.\l li

Bangor AYE 0pinion etc. OT

Carepark(received 12.07.12)Dear All Saying Aye,

Everyone knows bigbusiness has literally had

the high street but mysake V/al-Mart don't rubit in!

The bright grssn is agteat place to shop, no

one can argtle with thatbut seriously...

Why do ASDA feelthe need to station a

'Parking Enfo rcementFella' there to deprive the

5% of the good citrzensof Bangor a quick treepark for an hour or so

when the other 950A ofparkees are eithershopping there aayway

tLl parking charge'ret-unde d') or pickingtheir darlingses up frornBangor Central

Int sgrated CsntralPrimary School ( freeparent's pas.s (if youremember to bring it(don't tell anyone but the

aforementioned'ParkingEnforcement Fella' pickshis kids $p too so yousan probably chanceit)))?

Free for all is the least

they could do inexchange for the scars

left on Main Street"

t)ive something back

Wal-Street, eYery littlehelps! us all.

Yours,

A.C.

The Aye ha s givenseYeral opportunitiesfor ASIIA to respond toh,C's letter but we havehetrrt nothing yet.Watch this space. Eds.

CONTACT US AT:bangoraye@in box.com

Facebook Comment

"yay !

't appl y unde r thef .c.j-. (siclactLo N. D. B. C. andqet details cfLhe mas s ivedebt- / exposeLhe vfieless tJ-nccr{Lpet. an t{si*) c. e. o.{sic} for whathe L8 and geLLhe raLepayerfiuni t"eC and qeLhznz drumed (.s ic )out r. ."

Box,t

Bangor AYE Bangorians OB

Italildng'lilm Eamgorx&ilrsnviLfu ffrv' n* Tlmwffiffirl Quxu,&:'&

I he (.Itri[{F' Fir'l"hr rrallrrl g4;trrlt'n in (',asllr l'at'k is one ul'

l'lang.tt' h l*''*l krltt st'rt'efs. f hurrglr lt Ilt'tlris is llrr'('rr(('is (ln{l grl'lltc xtru'n"s

{t'calt'st rnl:strrit:s, I ha\''r' tlatrrlrrt'slrlrou trrl nl;ln.\ grtt'c lrtrs itr rtt.r' l itttt' ltttt l ul(l*tiut \\'lrrrl's rrrrtil-yt'rcnll.r-priralr: foll.r is

t*' arr inlrrr ruilii>na ll.v lrig.lr statttlilrtl. I ttt'6gt'

fin.\.'()1t{' u,lto lr}l'r,'s rultttt':ll I}(':rulr. Io gt't rl[1'

tlrrir lr(tslt"t'i{}r'5 iltttl gt'l slqlr.r,tt tll('t'(' rlrrirk.

It ix ir r'ilr{' I rcat.

Irr a tlrrir,'l {'(n'ttrt'ol'this \ut'n lt'trtt

liilrrr sits t lrr Kinsk { hlc. fl lrrvrl.r, Iit t.lr

rslalrlislrrrrr,'rtl. I'utl Ir.r .lar'nt' Ilorrson-(Jrri[.lf{. a ltutnatt tlr,"ttartro rt'lttt has llt'fit}rIrt'

tlrritt' ;,r ('('l('lx'ilt, trl tltns(' trl'[trl ttttlt,l' lf irlrirr

hs'r' rvirlt' sut'irrl t'irrlr,. llrtrr.v ti' v'oit ,rr'iIl

krrurt' .llr\ nt"s ullrcr lrrrsinrlss r)rr llarkt'lS I rrcl . 'l'hr I )rli is n(r\l- s:rr lll ...!],t.il,r'rl lrulshr pl;lrrs Ili (rll*tt it n(ilt rcsla ttrultrl in{ }r'tol.rcr'.

'lirking a s{"'flt itr Iltt' ltt",urtifirl slnrunrrsrur. I :rsk w'lral kirrrl lalt l'ttir llt'r' {ot\ t"nal(r'\

ltas In ollrt:*\\'i' (rra!(l {ilasl rt l;arln ir{, (.t'(itur. tcir:i.

slsll:evs, rnilksh*kls antl snr(){rtlrics. '\ll rtttt'

srnrrrrlhirs at"r rrraqlr r,r-itlr tfi'J'lttli{ lrtrit

[]r"(rtr irlrrl ln /lrlt':rt's Littp' {)ruvtnir'.r. \\t' also

s{,t'v(' ltotttt'ttultle satttlrtir'1rrs" s('r}I}(}s atrlLnr-r'll{rk('s. ttl;ttll'. Itrtr*lt on n rlnil.r lrasis."

'l"lris all sorurrls ;tuwl luoks, lolall.r'

rIrrIiri( !rls. \\, Ir:rl At't' ll,(." (tl"tl,ning lrorrrs.'

"\\'t. rtt'.i- tr1x,tr sfvrn tla,rs ;l wt:ck fi'orrr

tt'lr o'r"lr u:k irr l lrc r ttut'nittg rr rrt il lrall' y;tsl

firr'. l)ur ltt Ilrt' rt,rtHrtl [{ilt'(len's r('rl,s{tnti

ttaltt{'(', \\r'ilrt' t'losctl l'i'ttrn t }t'lrtlx*r' ltttl w'r'

rr.(rl t(t't irl li.ilblt'r'."

I rtztprirr as lrr huu' lrrrsinrss is pqoirrii

rxllrr.'litllt' lu ltrar altrlttt Ihl'()n{{t o{'

rrlstr.rrltrt's rlurrrirrg axrttrttl Iltr g*rulrnrvit.lr Llrrir rllrlr rths n'al t'ring lrrr t inxll'ad I

sit aglrasl l'-ts .la\nt' gqivrs tll(' lltt'rrrrl x*l irvrtl rle' trttl lt.

"\,'er"\ slon,. \\t"rt' lratl n() t"ttsl()nrfI's

rr"lta lsnt,, l"('t' I'ot' 1trtr,r.'It l1' -ttitz+' rlit.t's.

[ ,rr{rrrl trnalt,lr' ;,lrr :lrt,{irl Iol of' rt't4tlt tlrn'1.

irt'Irrrrll.r krruu' t trnt l.lrc rr alkr,l {.1*r'tlrrr is

lr('r'('arrrl Ithirrk L[ral rlrrtil tlrr.''lrtrutruIci*rrr* r('nlr('is Iinistrrt'rl arrtl Ilrr rrlrrttrilstarl. atlvct'tising it. wt"l'(' ttrtl gc,trng ltt gt:l

I ltt' 1 t*rrltl?"""l'llis bring,x Ilr{' rtt'all.r' lo tltt' ot}tct'

r'(,;r!;itn tlrat I attr hi"r'r'. ,\1xlt't {'Totrt ltrr't'irlrrirr;5 r'(ln(:ctr'ns. .l;r\rlt' alsrt xils ()r1 l.ltt''lirrr tr l',?ntr'(' \lattitgr:tnrttt {'Atnrn}il.tr,'r'

t-1"(.,\l'. I ask il tlris r()nlrnillt'r' rvurks in

ron.jrrrrr;l icr r rr il h lhr \ l) B( ;.

Bangor AYE Bangorians Og"'l'lrt' "l'{ l\l is rt.lr,ll.r, fir rrtl.r I lrv flr*

,tntttt'il ;xxl Ill('t,t, ir,t, clttilt, ;tr {'?\\, \l)B{_;t:,ttttt'ilLrrs sittirr H {ru tht' lxtrx.rl so I h;rvr, ;,r

rltfirxt, I.u ntl,,.rl, u irlr l lre :nr iuul lalk ,;ilroux

t*'lrul rvr slrorrlrl lrr rluirrtr4 l* irrrprorr", llrr,l.gltl'il.t"

I ;lsk i1't[rt.sr. r.(]l tn'ill'r,s lisl*'tt l* v,l"titllltr r-.sI o!' IIr, lru'tt'tl ltits let li;r\,."ti,t,....$t*rrt:lirIles." is J;rl,llr'* tr,1ri e,itlltrli;rlrrrrr itl.ir yt,pl\. lt slrikrs tll(, tlraI ltatirrg.,irrrlr ir larflr' lvutd ir r l ht' l\trttling nu;t\,

1lt'rst.ttl it r:t'r'tfii rt l.r'nr ytt,i;lt,iott {\tr l,l*,ltrurrril t u l\rrrr t lrt.ir, u\\ r t i:t$*,n rla. I

woswl,.,:" 1{' lh is ix t.ht. r'asr,.

"l *,rrlrl slrr. [lrll St.t.gllrrrr l]rrrr hty ,,Ils,

Irrrvrr t't:trlt*, nriulili{(.r'. ;*ui lris r:r.cw, ,rrt,l. ;tb itIirrw'a1l lrcl w t(tt I ht. r,*,l.ailr's tu*l [ [rr.

e'cfltrr{'il, taki ng} ,t ktt" ul' llark I'rtnn rcl.irilrrbrt if lrtru l ;rr:l.uallr hat'ing *zul. rntx.h ll(1r1,{'f rt, tlo ;rn.r-tlrirrg alre.rur ir.'l'lrt'r rl, i.t lrl u{'

gtxxl slu|\' sur:h itx llr nrilrkt,ts irt llu^$u n krn gttt'dons. r'u rl rr irrg tlrr' S tr rr rl;tv.

ttttrt'ttitt# t,ltt' lxxtl;, sillt. on (Jrrr.(.lt s ltrlttatlt;rrrrl Itn)lt,;ittg,r.igirurl irlr.;rs l'ot "'l'lrr{)ay"'ils rvr lik* te r rall ir rr lrilsr ;rr rllt, ri;rrn*litttt: It't'itrg to ;rr'()nrolc lor.nl lrrrsin(,ss.'n

.r'\1xrrt li',rrr tlris l*rrrl;rlrl,. t,llirr.l. tlrr,,

s()ut'{'(;' o{' [\trrtlirrg' nr('iurs Ilritl Ilrc t.uurtr:il"ttol. llrt"l'l]11, lurrt. tlrt. ;)()n(,t, ttl' vrlr.'l'lrixglrrtrsrr"l s.,rrrrrl itk'al. I litr.r.irll.r laughcrl *rrlhnxj tinul rrul irr it *{(xr(l n'arl rrlrt.rr I ryiltlirt tlrr S1rru.l.a l.e tr alulrrl. tlrt' "l\Nl" sIt.rrr.t.t.*'t,s

t"lurl irrr l-tr llt: pl,rrkrsl in lltr: ()u*:t,tt'x

lluratlt (.ra1t. Srrrt.lr lllt,t,r nrust lrilr,t. Ilr,(,rlIlcll t't' itltla.s tlrarr rlris. .la]'rlr rt,.lls nle it Ilour\(tutt, ttllwl.t' ir lt'lts li l r' ;l soltr lir ttl.

"l svgg('slr'{l lr kirrtl ,l'' sr'l.i,rr ril sIt'ttt ltt{,rlikr l,.lr,'11,x(.,s llurl ;r't. 1t*1t?iuf; rrll all t*,r,r,Lltr lrlat't,.'l'lris kirrsl *{ lrtrilrli,g t.,rrl,l lx,

rt'{lrl.l,irr ttttrlr.r. l.tro tt,t.t:ks nni r.,ttlcl{'(}nl;tirr a rtru r;rlr,.r likr St" {,lt:r il.gt,"s rrr;rrkt,lirr llrllirst. II rvorrlll ltr {(xu1rk.Irll, x(,{,ut(,,,"

rritlr n slagiltff in'r'it {ltr ktral *r,l.x;urtl arnylt:'',lla..( {'rt' srrxrll lrtrsine$s(,,* w itIr tclalivt,,l.vIrrr' rrv*r'lrrarls. "l'[ris tr,(]t dd iill,rr yruy,h, (*lIt slirrr lrudgt:l lo gr'l *l:,ilr:lttl w,llrt,r il n,r tuldIl* ilrrlxrssilrl* irr ,llr*r' Iritr't, t>f'lltc, [,r.vn.-

'l'Iis >e*fitt;,ls lik.ir lta, t,rr.(, st,'*ilrlt,idtll l harr fi lrfi\, sl*tt, ll,xr,* rvit lr flr,itss t o$l'bt lrr lrltryrs,* ,l' w,hit'lt lr*l r*s lr, s(lrnnls itl.tlrl,* r:x1t1x.irt.'l'itking llx,' srrlrj*rt *{ hiillrotrt,r'llriiltls rts t,t slitrl:ttg yofutl, I ask J;ll,llr.;,tlrrrttt rillcs in l.he totl,n {:rrrtr.q,.

"\\,'r' rtr*t:tl lrt lr,1t,cr *tr r;llt.si. llnrcr;rrn plc:. lltc ylllt:s {\n. l.}rt, D-,],i orr ,\larkr[SIr?,rt trrl'c {;l'J,$(l{l n vr;rn ltr,t,;ll avt,nrrt, irrBrrIthsI isrr'l rycIl l,ltal ('x.l](.11si\,t,.'l'ltis higlrrirlfls 1tt,im' is lnt,6tlt rltrr l+t tlrt. l'itt,l L.lutl,.

\larkr,:l xt'tlt'l is t'*rlsi tlt,rtt) as a ;xlrr. *l'llairr St l't't:t ln' t lrr r';ll. t,* tt{'l:lt c r.\rln I lrr wgltit *,('{'itr,* *rrll, I It.rrIlr ti'IIre I\x,r,.l'all.""l'lw, rnust, slr,rkir tg l;,hing ;rlr,rrt all tlris isl.[rat t,lu. lu.r'gr:xl pt*lirtu *['Llt*. ririt.s f{{}rsIrrrvarrls lht. ll:tt'rnr':r"rl t*' il larrrl-l'ill l;rx. ilas[[rr, 'l'(:\l srrglt{rrslt'rl iilt\. srlrrliorrs ltt tlrisltrrtltlr tn :' .l avt tt' I rls,rl ltlittt.

"lrr Srullarrrl, Irusirrr's"* r,t,ft.1t.lirr14 is(:firnlnrlslrr-r lurtl it slrotrlrl ltr ltrri^ Uttt.'l'ltirrk ,l' all tlrr ryasrt, tlral is g*rterzllt.rl ly\,

l Itr rrflril ar;,td s(,r'],it:t: irrrlrrstr'], iint:h ltlirr6;ylilrrs sucll ils cat't, llrllllr:,s rnnl r;t.lttx rls,

t{nrtltttsliililt.. I I' \r't, rcrty.t:ltd n-t{tt {, tt,r r.or r Ir I

sigri{icittil,lt {,rrl ll*,: l*nd-lill til.\, r:r:lxfilit Irr ?roltt]rr]"1," tlxtlL l.lrc r,;rl r.s and ;tl lmt:I it

rtlrr-rlt' lwt*l o{' lxrxittrss(:s lltall. iv't: lrtrl ttlTlt\, ttyerltrads its l.ltlrn sl;,itn rl." 1l tl

Those who believe absurdities will commit atrocities.Voltaire (1694-17751

Bangor AYE Bangorians tO\\'t'll. rr lurl r)n ('ltrtlr is slolrpirrg rrs:'

""1 lrrqrtrg4lrl llris yt'{rlr(t>it I to l}r'lrr \\'t'ir,l)[.|'} r'{)unrillor, lnfi;, lrt. sairl Ilral it.irrstrrlrsrr'I I lral sirrrlrlr'. lk' [{avc nu {rrrl}rt'r-

r,-r1tlltttaIiritt."'I'Ilt' '1"(";\l r*rlfiilrl.r. sr('rr]s lrl llt, strivirrgl

Irrrr':rrrls a ltrllr' r: llart;[$t'. \\'lral alrr'lrrl otlrr.r'

rctailrrsi'"I n iul ;lll.r'tttlr[ tu ;tronrutc lorlll

Irusi n(,s*. llll"'l'(',\l yyyq:11l.ly rcttt:t'it"r,tl t hc'I st. I s llr Lns(' t so ('anl;rai6grr. lt ltr.fis ith

sitrtlrlr r,ls aski rtg t't'lirikrrs l* tlisgrlav a stnall

slirkcr irr t.lrrir slrop {\'tttrtx tt} r'errrirrrl lot';el

llcrrlrlt' t hat. lSang(rt' t.[rrivc.s ut, it t'trslurrr

tlrnl is rlrt'irrsllirrg.'l'lrr rt-arlitttr fi'crrr Iirrrr

orrl. tt1''{it't';lrolrlt'thal. lt'(.;rskr.rl rr,l,ls,

'\\'Iurl.'s l]l(' ('{rlclri'" \\i. trirrl lu r,\lrlairr llurl

tlrrl'(, rr'{rr rro rlltrlr hrrl lo no ar ail. lt \\ {ts it

\ r1'\. rIisrr;r1roir rt irr*" r(slrtnr,s(,."'l'llrn' s('('tll Irl lx, rIr.I rtttl ol'r'lri_gltttI

solrrliorrs lo rrrosl til' Barr6;or'"s glrulrlr.rrrs

llrrrl lu'(' llt'irrg slrrlrlrr trttlv i;ryore'tl lr.r all

;urrl srrnrlr'\'.,litvttt' Ilr'ovidrs ilfiotlrrr'('\flrrr;llt'.

*'l;rkc lht' r'nttr' t+ttittg {tn {r\.t.r' l hr ll'fIrrr ilrling (]rr (.',{'rtlrnl ,\r,r nur. S(}rur(.

rrrultcillrirs atr l,,t'n'ttti'tttit,tg ()ur lnrk ol'llltt'alrc w'lrilt' c(Ilrllllairring ahorrl llrislrrrilrlirrg Ir,irrg irllt,. \\''r'll, rvll.\, nnl (:ull\t'r'l

tltt' rll()r'(', ntlt{ lrrrr-lot,kirr6 hnll' ol' llrt.Irtrilrli rrg' i rrltt a I [rr.al r'(.."

'l"ltis rnakt's gt;,xtrl s{'nsc.'l'1ris sr)-(*nllttl"(|.1'('*!i(lrr'". i{' it na} ;;itr,r''n a rt'all.r guurl

('l('iltt anrl a lirk ol' pitirrI w'or ild rytnkr a {irrr,

slrrrl l'*r a l lrtl;rl rur. lnulgitn, llx: r't'lnot'al ol'

lltr rtgl.r railirrgis lhai sul'r'(,rrrrrl il ilrrrl llrr,rrrirrrl's ctrr' r'otr.jur'('s i, ;rlan, t*' u.lrirlrlilnngi'tt' r'orrlrl ltt' Irrrlr prt,rrrl. Bcsirlt.s

irrrlir irlrral Irrrglrr.nrs. I u,urwlrr vl-hat t lrrr

()\'rt'*;rrt'lti n{ Ilt'rtllh,':n rfi rr'il1[.r al'r."'I'h{' I s Lrgairtsl 'l'lr('nl r"ttll tt t'r;. I lxtl crisl s

llr-llt.r'{.n Ihr- lrrrlrlir' :urrl llrr rottrtril ttr.r'rls

Itr Irt' tli;srtl\,f'tl. (',ounrille lrs 'iu't, l llt,t't: Irr

|arilit;rl.t' llrt'lir rorrstilrrr'rrrt.s, lo hrllr ral.ht:r'

t1tan ltindl^t' rlt.rrlnllrll('nt. \\,'t' art' slrrr:k in

i;t ririorrs rit,i-'ll,, arrtl ;rltIrrrrgll (:\'(.r'\:{ntr is

srfi'l'rr|rtg rlrrrirrg; I lrt' t't'rt'ssi$fi. llangprstr{1i't'ri lt}nt"t' Lluln t}r( txl ax llarrg.cr"iarrs tltxt'l(i()rrlr le tgt'l'Lwr tu sulr l"rot'l thcir' folr-rr. \lt.{'()r}rlrlairr ;llrottt lIrr' {'(turrril [lrrl Ttrt'c'll lrlll ltrtn rr 1t;rl \t'(' r.talrl lrorn t lrtlrrr. Sra -*klcl.rrrlrrs sly nrkl har r. tltl:'i1{'11'7' Irrrl l]i;tnglnr'

[ras lost its irlt,nlitr' sornrr1:llt't't. nlorrff lhr.

rt'a\'. 'l'itfir's iul,. rltiulghry antl !r,(. ttt'crI lrrt'lrnrrl{l' rr itlr tlrt''n}.'"

'\rrrl rr.lral i*'( Itrr'r;r,ltrlic,rrrs lo llrt'srr"e':.f IIl Irir yrrrtltle',1nsi'

'-\\i' rlrr'([ lq, 1rt'utttol.t' nr tl'sf'l\'('$ mor{

l)()silirrlr. I lt;lrtl 'l''l'r('('* lu g(| tN?irl'

Ilt'lllrsl" ittlo (irtrtglt. Illc ntlrt.r rlar anrl

ll*rrfl(lr arltt'trtrtl l{'atr. drrylrr lhr Iisl al'

rt-srrlls. /iortl l,'iiltt,is lar' lrig,hr:r' rrlr tlurn r1'c

{u'r'ilrrrl llrlrl is "irrst ru[r(1.'lirrrrisl.s ('(]nt(' lulltt' kir rsk lrrtrl s{r\ l'rattgor ltas s(, rnrrt:[r toolli'r'. 'l'ltcr rlort'[ ('(]rnlrl;rin ;llrorrt 'l'ht, (riitlt

lrcr';rrrst' Ilre 'r .irrst sr(.i rl rrir't' ltilf t:ttt' llark irr

llrt' lott'rr ('('nfrt'. \\"lw'tt .'lurytnt is {'irrislrt,tl"

r\'(' rrill lrar"r. a lrixrrr'{. {'('rtlt',. lhal m,ill liov,ollrt'r's irr \l rtrt e rf-tlrt' w'tAlrr atxl tlris lv'ill

ilrI as Ir Irii4" rlt'rttt. lrttt tvrl rlric{I [tr yt'rtturtlt',

;rllrlrcliorrs likr llris rt'itlr l'lrr nrrlrrcltlltttsiitsnr Ilrlrn \rr i:tt'( itl Ilr'('s(.Jll."

lrr nr:rrl lirrrcs. it is lnartl lo rlen.r tlrat

llllst' ll'(' n isr' \\,,r'rls antl lSnttgoriarls

slrorrlrl t;rkc nolc rrr risk the'werrst.ltlt

rouow&* dfOuqht on

Mcheck out the new Album

SHU, THErr Elaffi!

Bangor AYE Food, lt

An ilegant Sufficimc! b,*cer .&oryhock

Depending on what sort of a moodyou're in, the Bangor Fligh Streetoffers a smorgasbord of dives anddeleslablo$, hoppy hours andhomicides. On the occasion inquestion, it was a bahny Septernberevening afler a fraught week andteelrng the werght of a cruel worldheaxy upon our should ers, the BetterHalt and I wanted to spoil ourselves.So we ctpt*d for the top drawe r and sst.

a course for Coyle's.Coyle's is ons o{ t:he town's greatest

pubs. We have spent many a happyafternoon downstairs slowly drinkingthe bar W but the upstairs r-estauranthas until recently only rcally existed onthe edge of our awarefiess. This timewe noticed a chalk board at the mainentrance that bid us try the L25 menu:A meal flor two with two courses eachand a bottl e of wine. [t struck us that itwould be foolish not to give it a go.

On reaching the top af the stairs atsix o'clock we pushed open doorsfinished with a patr of deli cale stainedglass pafiss and brass art nouvsautrimmings. A*y, our attentivs waitresswas there ta meet us, direcling us to aIable for four so that we would havesome space to eat, drink and speaksxpanxively. A very good slart.

For our wine we took Amy'srecCImmendation of a Sauvignon Blancfrom Concha y Toro; a dec ent,unpretentious number that was cooledto crisp pcrfection. Apa*. from thedrink the 5-7 o'clock menu includes a

startw and a main course with a choiceof three rJishes fi:r eash. The Bettertlalf went far the psppered beef andpannesan salad to start and I took themussels rnariniere. During the wait wehad a quafl and soaked up rheambience of the place.

Amongst those in the know, Ihemodern rectpe far restautant successsays thut Beige is Best. Coyle's hasused this advise well. On the crearnwalls ars hung berge canvas squaresarranged gsametrically beside othr;rsquares {differing only very slightly inhwe) farmin g a sefies of studies in off-white twentyrfirst century vogue. Theeye is stroked in all directions by a seaof high-backed leather chairsupholstercd in black and caulitl owsrwhite and a soothing selection of hitsfrom the great crooners softly caressesthe ears.

One teatvre gently arrests thepeepers as they scan the magnoliaceiling. A large stucco cornic e-piece.This strikingbwt not over*beartng {bcalpoint frames four panels of stainedglass thal describe leafy formsinte;rtwiwed in an elegant art nouveaustyle.

Bangor AYE Food Le

This glass-work, flound e lsewhorethroughout the space, serves as a nicesrgnature mottf . Clolourrr,d in subtleearthy tones, it helps to sharpcn thesotter corners of the ov erall scheme.

Our starters arriv ed aker a wait thatwas shorl buf not so

short as to sugge stcorfler-cuttingshenanigans in thekitchen. Bee;{ salad hasalwayx struck ffIs as abit at a stranga nationbut the BH was astutein her choice. The cutwas nice and thequality of thepresentation \n/asexquisite; meat {tnelysliced and cooked rareto the point otaclventurouslless with a

good mixed salad and asprinkle of parmesanfbr zing. My musselswere beyond comparern terms of quality, tasteand colour with ontl of the richestmariniere sauce$ I've had the pleasureto slurp. The distinctive crunch andtang of roughly chopped shallot helpedto lighten any heaviness even thoughthree slices af crusty breacl tried tosink me. t have an inkling that somtlsort of choice ch eess was providing an

almost illicit steroidal boost to thegeneral decad enee of the thing.

After another well appointed breakand a, deep breath the mains arrledwith a flourish. Mine was a {Lat ironsteak with garhc butter, salad and lries.The BH took the pan frisd sea bream,white onion pwree, pancetta and red

wine jut. Both of us

were pretty muchblown away. My steakwas cooked to a te?,

blee,dtng with only n

slight sqlueeze; boldlyseasotred and rnelt-in-the-mouth. Fries tomatch; crwnchy on'toutside and flutty in'trniddle .

The show-xtopperwas the bream" Thechef handled this tnckyfrsh with aplomb andthe BH asks me to showparticular appreciationfor the crunchy skin,courageously left rntaet.tffhite onion pwressupported the whole

and deserves a mention fbr providing a

gossamer sweetness that could onlyhave bsen improved, in this humblercvicwer's opinion, by a couple of newpotatocs for a bit more traction.As thc monkey disregards thc ruby onthe beach, wc are all guilty of beingblind to thc trcasures on our streets.This monkcy scrcaffis, "Coyle's has an

upstairs. f)on't walk on by. Paradise islound abovc!" SH

BANGOR MARKETresh ables, fruit, Meat and Fish

s, Herhe and any kind of BatteryWednesdays Early mornings - { o'clock

Bangor AYE fnd,ia tS

Wfte,n L utn6 [n Lndlaoooll rr r i tt p;' .rl .o r: k r.r/trttI lt0ttl t illttt'l' tttl rt rl i u n ,, i'l ,) l't,,r'rtfi t't'{)s, 1'y u t,oiili t, t:'ieutlt lri rrilirt;4: ..1;:,7,in (t lSurnlxrt'/ritrl,ott t' i tt (r'*'ytir / hrt'r, t trtr:',

(t.r'r'ir,(:t; ul hi,s fittrt/ 1rlr':;tittrtl iott; l)tis1tt,t't .=lr:n {,,rluf( itt Yiltriri, ,,,;,f,

t',.',t,/.r.' (t.\ ltr'/1 ('r(lt' {)(., *,li,t' '/ri,r /ir':;l f rt.slr ol' r,5'/ri.; rt.rti lili' (t.t ,ii, Ie,t{u.l( fttu rtu{4ct: fi'L

dLY

?art" IV- ErTcou rtl,eraWirhA Snake

I arrived at Pnrspect Estate where I was tospend the night with the manager Bonso andhis wife, Jcanie, in their palatial bungalowbefore being shown to my own. 'I"he estatewas in the Nilgiri, translated literally as Blwe?lLlls, in South lndia in thestate of Tamal Nadu about 30miles north of the hill stationof Ootacanrund, or Ooty as it ';'

is firore commonly called. Ihad anived in thc middlc ol"the monsoon and the estatc,which was at an altitude ol' 1over 7,A$0 fect, was ,,

immerse d in thick nr istsreducing the visibility to less

Monsoon shutters \vcre in t'

place around the veranda taprotect the front of thetrungalow from the driving rain. Inside lugfires hurned in the rnain rooills in an attemptto control the insinuating darnpness. To rnethe contrast betrvcen the miserable dankconditions otrtsidc and the walTR interiar ofthe house creatcd a sense of privileged refuge'from a hostile worlcl. The dark fbmiture waspredominantly l:tlwardian lrnglish with sonletoken Indian pie.ct-s that would have satcomfbrtably irr a rniddle class home with in

the frnglish midtands. It reflected confidencein continuing rightful sratus.

Bonso who had curiously green eyes had alotrk of a genial farrner and the shape of aL'{umpty-Dumpty. Whereas Jeanie was a thin,

dour woman whose father, aScot, had also treen a teaplanter so she had lived muchof her early lif-e atrsortring the

.,.,,...,..?,., cttstonts and outlook of thg-. ':;' ,,,'

i" British in Colonial India and' ,tti,.t she retained the formal'"',1 maRRers of' a lady who still

placed her trust in the rigidsocial etiquette from the days

L of the Indian RaJ. Although1 she was hospitable her,, genero si.ty was care fully' measured. A small clinner

pafty had been aruanged andwe were joined by fuur men in their twentiesanrl early thirties from neighbo urtng estates.leanie believed in maintaining a dividetretween the generations which constrainedconyersation within a banal formality. As theevening progressed with falteringconversation and increasing awkwardness theterrsion became too much and when leanie,having carved a chicken, asked CIne of themen if he liked stuffing someone giggled. Forsome minutes there

Bangor AYE Ind,ia 14

lvas only the spluttering of suppressedgiggting as we behaved like a pack of schoolboys with po taced Jeanie and Bonso thedisapproving staff. lt was intenselyembarrassing,

The next rnornin g Bonso, now dressed inshorts and looking like klumptlr-Dumpty inen egg cup, was preparcd ts drive me to myown bungalow, He explained that the estatewas divided into several divisions and that Iwould be in charge of Lower Prospect. Onthe way we {)assed through acre$ of'tea fieldsthe bushes forming a thick cover level to theslopes of the hills. The monotony of the teawas tntewapted by lines of shade treesplanted for their fich leaves that mulched theearth when they f'eII , and for theirnitrogenous nodules on their roots, Thestraight lines of trees rising out of thecompact surface of the tea gavs the fields a

cultivated torunality and I understood why ins{Jrne districts the estates are called teagardens.

I3are fboted womeR pickers waded up totheir waists through the tea carrying largebaskets on their hacks held in place bywadding that passed across their foreheads.'l'hey plucked with amazing speed being paitlby the pound weight, picking -a bud and twoleaves' and tossing the leaf over theirshoulders with unerring accuracy into theirbaskets. They wore sacking to protect theircolourful saris which they had tucked uparaund their waists. As they workedRurnsrous bracelets otl their arrns jingledsoftly. The male maistries or ftrrefiien stoodin the fields beneath umbrellas watching thervomen and ensuring they plucked the bushesto the same level. ]"he men wore shoeswhich, I learnt, together with the umbrellas\trers symbals of authority.

As we arrived at the bungalow my housestaff tumbled out and lined up at attention.'fhere was a cook, a cook helper, gardenerand sweeper. The sweepe r was sharedbefw'een several bungalows, but the gardenerwas my own although the garden was only a

strip of earth a couple of feet wide that laybetween the house and lhe tea and the onlyflowers that I sver saw bloom there wereopium poppies. The cook, Thomas" hadrecently been released from gaol for thieving,but Bonso assured Ine that he was a gtlodchap really although he cautioned that

pertraps I should not leave v"aluables lyingabout. The cook's helper, Kempa* wasdrl scribed as just a sirnple rogue.

"Right"said the manager as he pre,pared to leave meat my bungalow,

'"1'll see you on Vriday. ln the mean timeyou are in charge of 4A$ acres of tea and 4AA

men" Only one maR speaks frngLish atrd youcan't believe a word he says. Ciood Luck!"

A thin, wetting ratn swept across tlte oceanof tea in gusts and from somcwhere in themist came the jangle of the pluckers'bracelets.

ln spite of the lack of- communicationlunch appeared at lunch time, in the eveninga }rot bath was poured fbr me and by nighttime my bed was waiting ready made. On mytlrst night as a tea planter tn my ownbungalow I fell asleep to the sound of a

family of rats frolicking in the roof space.

The next day Thomas, u,ho had picked up a

tritling of bngtish during his sojourn in gaal"rnanaged to understwd that I would preferntrt ts share the bun gal*w with rats and caffisup with the perf'ect solution. The secondn:ight the sound of pitter-patter above myhead was replaced by the swish-swish of a ratsnake. Once its duty was done the snake tookitself off and I rvas left to quiet nights.

This was my tirst encounter with snakes.lIEI rrrl ia

i,"'rrrrIicI r rr liir

o{lir:irtll.r' tltt' l/*rputrrlir: ${'

I I ir rr li:HTfr rfrrff,.r{ . lll*it,al ()a+lu';r j.r,:r;

I rrrlilr is I lrt' s('\ ('rrtl'l-litrgtsl. ('(tttrtlt'v irr

llrt' \\orlrl llr H('()i{r'itlrhit';tl iu'('it" t.llrs('('urrrl-rrro.sl l)()l)ttl,lrts ('()urttI'\' witlr()\(.r' 1.2 lrillion 1rt'o1rlt:, t-tntl t,ltt' ntosl

lr()l)ttlous (lcttt()('r'ir('\ irr t[rt' tt'orltl.

lrr ll;u'r'r's lirrrr'. lrrrli;r lrittl .ittst slilrpctlllrc ltrr.i'. 'l'ltis \\its lt lirrtr""lrt,lirrti t'all('('lrlr'('s itttrl skr sr'r'il1)('t's w'ht"tr lrrtlia\\:rs slill llrorril'lrl ol'lrr \\('st('I'tl lltlolrlt'as :r l:trH','l) un(lisr'()\,('t't.rl) attrlnr\ slcri( )lri lrrr r,l. l'rrt' il .\(,tIntr4 lrtrt,klikc I lrtt't'\. ltis :ll)lxrirrlttttJttI grr"irrrtist'tllriglt rrr lr ('nl ur'('.

Bangor AYE ffi@lmesHullington Sport t5

EnJlsilnr,s!!r-r=Effi

This m*nth's RLR takes us to Toyota ?arkt-" Chicago USA {rtr some Major Leagaesoccer action with chicaga Fire takin{onL.A. tialaxy (Yes, rhafs the tieam yer, *unBeckma* plays fnrlt. This lerokeri to be agood match up pre-game a* both teams aresitting mid table in there respec tiveconferences and as such both teams werelonking ta take all the points in a bid torcac*t the MLS Play-0fl.s. lt is as alwayswarTh mentioning that L.A. Galaxy have asuperior number of Brazlhans witfrin tbereroster boasting fbur and chicago Fire onlyhavingthe one.

Both teams lookcd lively as thefrrst half got underrn ay with L.A Galaxycreating the lirst chancc on goal with

-a

good volley elfort li'om .just outside thepenalty box in the I lth minrtc. It was hackand forth until the 21n' minutc when L.A.Galaxy were awardcd a pcnarty for a handball by crhicago F ire dct'c,crcr .lalil Anibabawhich Robbie Keanc scorccl by sendingchicag* F*e kecpcr Sc.an Johnson thiwrong way making it one up t0 the visitorsL.A. tialaxy with rhc rest of the tirst haltstill to play. flur tlcspire the rlrama af tltegoal the rest of thc lirst half resulted in aIrtt of defensivc play as Chieago y*extruggled to brcak clorvn a relentless L.A.Galaxy midficld. Ir was L,A, Galaxy thatcertainly lookcd thc more confident ri.l* o*the hall'time rvhistlc blew.

Chicago l-"ire macle {J*e change athalt timc ancl rcplacecl Arnerican midfie lderLogan Pausc with their Brazilian Alex aclear sign tlrat c'hicaga meant business.

This seemed ta be a wise tactical change asCf_!i eago Fke began aperating morent{ensively hitting L.A. Galaxy's tefbnceon the counter play several times but still{ailing to $cfire. On the haur rnark L.A.Galaxy substi tuted mid fielder Hect<trJirnene z tar Bryan Jordan to add some pac.eto their midfie ld although L.h. srillstnrgglecl to cantatn the energetit chicagoFire and Galaxy srill held anio the leati*at0- 1 as the clar,khir T0 minutes. On the T6rhminute Chicaga Fire hit a shot wrdeallowing L.A. Galaxy hit on the c*unterand Robbie Keane to score frum abeautifulran from the mid fielrl making it *-Z to L.A.Galaxy as the clack approaches g0minutes. L.A. Galaxy kept the pressure onIbr the last minutes of regular time anclRobbie Kr;ane nearly scored again as hcpicked trp e long ball from the midfie lcl butfound hirnsel { all alone upfront ancl wasclosed dorn n by th.e {'.hicirgo de fence as thegame moved into injury tirne.

Four minutes o{ stoppage time tobe playerJ with L.A. Galaxy *tiJf lookinggoorl. I do have to mention that thecomrncntatw xtated that" this was a good'"Shut-Out" t-ar L.A. tialaxy and I wilt tryto {ind oat wihat exacily this means tbr neitRLR issue. L.A. Galaxy continaed thegortrS l'orm until the final whistle althnugl,t agood elTsrt fiom thc home team ChicagoFire. JH

Final Score: Chicago Fire 0Galaxy

The B,andoiwlth larne,e rrrrlllni*^* AJ

&gpg1rt wlthJameerullin$ton O;7-r

MLS (Maiar Leagae Soccer lJSh) * Chicago Tire vs L.h. Calaxy $Sl0T llZI

2 L.A.

Bangor AYE ru@rockypeakes SPort 16

ffiffiffiFXY-ffi ffiffiffiFIffiY ffiffiffiffiTtr

Th* Z** Wffif,Y'ffiY ;ffiY'*uff& ffiww"ffiwwr,fflw ff;|#{ff;r,i*ffid

So, hockey fans, the new season is almost

upon us! Are yau excited Yet? I am. So

much so, in tact, th'et I have had ta buy &

wheile new set. rtf diarnon d-studded C'akin's.

With a Aew hockey $eason comes a whalenew bunch al'PlaYers, caaches and

backroom rstatf. lJnlike soccer ({ootball ttlyou Ways) hackey playerr; in the EIHL (EliteIcc Ho *key League) only get offered I year

contraets (sometimes 2 yeats), so the atlssa$on usually brings & kantic dash ta gel

the best players avail'ahle tor the right

money and try to build a Championship-winning side. The vast majority o* a Britishice hockey team ats tlew playets, and here

['m going to give you a rlfft down of the new

team thal, Belfast (iiants head caach Doug

C'hristiansen has been assembling ttris offsgason.

Startrng al the back, DC has

managed to re-stgn both his #artrng antl

backup rretmrndets in Stephen Murphy(UK) (best goulie in the league, in this

repnrtefs 6pinion) and Andrew Dickson(wt), one af three local bred talents in this

team. MurphY, or "MurPh*'as he isaffectionalely known &s, has been the

backbo ne tr; the $iants in recent ycars, and

was one at the tsasons that the League

Championship c(rnte home to Belfast last

y9$:r.' Moving to the defence, DC has

only brought back one playet tiopr last

sea,s$n: Graeme "Wally" Walton (NI). Thc6'1" tselfast-horn &efenceman has been a$alwart for his entire Giants c&reet, and is

moving into his testrmonial yeat. f)ave

Phillips ({*trK} and Rob Sandrock (CA) both

return l0 the (liant*, havin I prsvtously iced

lbr Beltast in pa;t seasons but had both

gone olT to pastures new. will colbert (c:a1

and Sam Roberts (1*7SA) have also srgnerl,

giving the Gianl,s defence some extra*usc[e. Brock Mathestln {CA'}, a lok-hand-shooting $ntario native, rounds out the

rleteniee.

And so we continue on to the

Farward line*, the showmen, the grJys whei

step up to the ptate anrd put the puck in the

back of the tret. Now, last season's fbrwards

set the bar just a litfle hrghar than it htrs

becn, hawever with stwr player Roh Dowdmrrving ta Swleden, DC has had his workcut gut ftir him t0 smulute last sea$on's tally.(By the way, Davrtl Simms fiom Sky Sports

EIHL show was extremely distraught at

Dowdy Leaving the EIHL. t think he

secretly had "a thitrg" tar llowdy" lsez., that

alone would give n\s nightmats#', since

David Simms strongly resembles a "Man-child'').

DC has munaged t'a re-sign a

strong care of last sgason's t$rwards,, withCraig Peacock {UK}, Mark (}atsirJe (UK)'Gareth Roberts (NI), Adarn Keefe (CA) and

Danyl Lloytl (CAl all retuming to defend

thcir lcague title. fr.urly in the cttf season,

DC signecl Matt Towe (UK| from GuildtordF larne.s, attd I ltlr one am quite excited to

scc, him play in a Giants uniform.So uow wc are lctt wirh the rcst of

tlre import l-ortl'ards, or the {oreignItrryarcls. DC has brought in a lat of talent

lronr thc AIIL (Arncrisan *lockey League)

arrd thc lrur'()pcillt Lcagttes, but there is also

cluitc u hir ol' NtlL cxpcriefice too. Noah

Clarkc (l.JSn ) cpprcs t6 the Giants franchise

l'ront (icrm:tny, hrrt has played 2l NHLgamos, trttlstly lilr L.A. Kings. Central

Hockcy l-eagtlc All-Star Daymen Rycroft(CA) arrivcs li'otrr Arizolln Sundogs and has

scgrcd 25 9r' tnol'c lloals in 6 consecuttive

Bangor AYE Feuilleton LT

sear;ons. It woulcl $eom that this guy just hasto look at the puck and it'll make it's ownway into the nett,

Next up is playmaking forwardScott Champagne (ClAy. This guy should beinteresting to watch. I watcherl him playagainst" Be lfust (iiants last season farNottingham Panthers, and I must aimit, Iliked what I saw. He is a great passer of thepuck, and will tnereass our chances ofscoring. Hs will lite;rally make the Giantstorwards better with his vision and ac$urety,

Snipe r Andre w F r;urnier (C A)moves to the Belfast torward unit from0lo{stroms IK in Swcden, wherc hemanage& 27 goals anrl 53 points fram 10games last stlason . DC, has heen quoted assarying, "I really believe we une aflhe{J a gemhere late in the otf-season.,. (he

'} has a kiack

of scoring big goals".C'ompleting the ftirwartJ unit is 26

ysar old Ontario native Greg Stewart (Ch).As recently as 2 years 0go, Stewart wasplaying for one of the most lamous hackeyteams in the world, the Montreal Canadrensa{ the "Original Six" NHL teams. He hasplayed 26 games over Z seasons forMontrsal, and his willingncss to "drop thegloves" will makc hirn an instant fantasourite at the Big O this seasorl. After all,tlrat's what a lot ol' hockey lirns go to ses,lots of knocking thc **'k'r out of each other.

So thcrc ws hervc. it, tht: Z0l1ll3Bel{ast Giants havc bccn assembled, andwill be going all out to retain theirchampionship titlc. I arn a llrrn believer that1r; put together a lcgcndary, truly greathackey team in this lcaguc, yoa need a goarJmix of British, ('anuclian, American, andEastern European ( AKA stickey *stoney*on-ths-trszen-lake) playors, and a whole bunchof balls. Ok, s() Belfast d,an't have anyStickey-Stoney-on-the-F'ro zen*Lake typeplayers, hut thcy rlo hav e a load at ballx, andthe size of thosc balls should make thezuflL tlefccatc in their undies.

This is thg new ssafr(xt, wa ateBelfast Giants.

Bring ir on......Rp

fuffiwgb trrL;L.eb,Awap*

MW

WEI

Looking toclear out orfree up eomecaeh?

Onlinemarketnia{f.*"t$ {t r&tiqurS (,: rsl L*,C t:. a?s"tr,t::

il:rq::yt:; aYc eru{}tz /: i t: i v,ey: t'1 d-:* (:.; ?:.72r r:ur1''n

*\J.r Lina'g r:l-r:re t

SeI1 on Behalf:w{z fru:LL y*L1,t tt:rztrnfr lrsr y*u . *ffLeL L ui:}wto,:n & Lt*t- r:t y()Jt tt-ewz:l .

Itam.E Ya accept:CD , nVD r *r:s zrtr:t , V zdt:r: ,Jtrt.fil{zfi I H*ts'Ky;T **t-?:aL L V4aw,*r ak:tL ta r VLr:'rsi Lr*z ??zr:tnu y:

(.TauL?LT {,. Wrsrktrzql , v:,ffiri?:

Visitour eBay

StoreFolIow us on:

Gonlinemarketni

Onlinemarketni

Bangor AYE

As the various perfr>rrrrcrs set ap theireq*ipment and the assembleel c$mqtarybegan to laok restless I tried to recall haw Ihad arrived here. The ,$;e ofllces were in astate af mare than usual chaos tanight andI simply had ta get rlLtl. I sat grincling rnyteeth in front of my computer for twohours not ?*owing where to begin with myarts column, listentngto ?ritt and Wright inthe next room arguing {rver their equallystupirl takes on local politics. I amsurroun detl by idiots.

Half an hour befbre I had been glsnleave to dismiss rnyself l finally mana5edta screw up my coura5e and took a chanceat e*cape. I had to duck past Mac's oflice.*:r;r some reason the blinds had been lefr"open while he visited a beillocking uponpoor old Cecil for a minor gramm atrcaleffor. Therc is nt pe'dce here and there iscertainly no peace at hsme (don't ask) ,soafter I was sure t:hat I hu* efrefitvely mademy exit,lwalkeduntil thit a pub.

Downstairs in Cayle's, an opsn micnight w&s in the ofling, Say what you will,I haye always felt that true enteftainmentcomes improvrsed. Weigh this against thcoffice an* those that insist on the title ol'protessr$nal and the balance only evercomss out in favour of the amateurs. ThelJniverse had provided me with a worthysuhject for my already overdue capy and Iwasfi't gaingta waste it.

A clelicious gtnger beer is doing therounds at the moment. lt is dangerouslyeasy to drink and atter only a mattw otminutes and with a consi&erable ap,petrte, Icleared two botlles in as many elraughts.Ah, the rsstsrative powerrl of a good tipple .

Sefrtre long the office lr/as il distantmemory and s fell{rw callei Mu;hael BcllpresenterJ himself us the compere {orCoyle's apen mic night, explaiurng thingslor tho se of us who were there by acr:idenl,

0pen hlic Hight LB

Ta kick things oft, Michael treatetl us tc:

'd p$ern. Now d<tn't w$ffy, as I admif/.redly&irJ ut tirst. Miks's work is of an unusuallyhigh standard. His opening piec* vtascalled *Bungorosity", a Ginsbergian howlat the mooil that warled in the face a{ ourtown's languorous nature in & tight a*daften tnteresting meter. l was happy to hearSnow Patrol re{erre* to in the only terrnsthat really frt, tlescribing Lightbady and hisheinous crew with the most power{ulobscenity in lhe English lexicon , lt's aboutbloody trme. I was thoroughly enloyingmy;el{ as I ardered the third rlrink a{ thenight.

MY, Bell left the stage to xt;alterr,dapplatrxe. A large man tn a louri shin thenintroduced himself as Jonny B. His xetwassomewhat compromised by ir recalci1lr:antPA system but he p$wered thraagh it like apro. He displayed good crowd control witha repertory set that was gcnuincly hean{eltif a little staid.He gaye us some competenttirrger picking on an cbony finish guitarand it was a shame that most of the puntersweren't quite warmed up enaugh to givehirn his due.

Mike gav$ us another poem? this timeabout a lrustrated attempt at pulling anattractive lady in the Limelight which hadus all cringing in recognition blefore & manwlro had already macle his v$tce heardwithout an oflicial invitatian took thestage. I'herc is alr,vays ons as they say aruJ

this time it rvas Savage Ed. This man w&sdrtrnk (and I don't mcan tipsy) but rletyingall expcc:tatiorrs, hc was awe$ome. I don'twant to borc anybody lvith gnttar talk butEd's axe was hcautil'u[. A slim-linelacquercd instrumcnt with & colourfultloral pattcrn inlay cncircling eccentricallyplaccd sound holcs that said, onl might bepissed but I can play."

ffim ffiffiffiffiWwWW uiffi' fe ry!ffimT Wfr # ffiEt miffi ,ryj W iPu*u*W,mW

Wqruffi Mffirgx

Bangor AyE 9pq* &Iic Hight r9Ecl sat dorvn and set abo ut tr*atrng us to

his tn-ltue take on wha t an open mic* nightshould be, rambli ng thror.rgh

'his set with a

sense *f tempo like an arhythmic heartheat.Apart frorn what I think niigtrt have been aMetallica {avaurite and ; xpattering otpossible R&B eovsrr;, I,m nit s*re whattunes he was playing but they afi seemed t$have far longer endings thun was (iv,,rintended by the originalTuthars. Each codawas iLn l*{ew Age syrnphony with the nowinebriated aurlience- pioviding prematureapplaase at svery oppartuiliry,A moreautspoken patron rcqaested

I

frow,n Eyed Girt. blJ hardlylooked up from the fiet board

Thing s wsre begin* ing to deteriarute so Icalled for a drink anrl teiok some time autfor a long deserved bag break. r came backto find a yoang lanky chap standing with hisbass around his ankres and h"is eegeracaustic guitar playing bud rJy siuing besiiehim in ready position, They were oivi*usryenamsred of themsr,lves to the point afdrowning. Even befr;re they sta.lted playingI knew that we were about ia be subjected tosomething truly aw{ul anr| an settlingmysel{ I was nqt {isappoin tsd. They &.ave usthe goddamn Killers and the braody Foo

F'iglrters and tlzcn ttid thedumbfounding aadacity tatrample all over Johnn7* Be{iood like some crazerJchildren hopped ap on ItedBurll destroying & Rembranr.Eventually someone musthave called mercy and thcduo slunk off looking odclly,inexplicably pleased withthemselves.

As a grateful communal

&$ he shouted, "I don't knowthat afic" and sel otT into atortureti renrlition of thetwelpe bar blues. Saicl crowdmember gulderred back,"That's elose enough,, and Imissed the rest fram chokingwith laughter on my ftiurthbeverage.

Next {rp was a young nlannamed Ross in a brand new flat" cap whogave us a string ol'tunes conce rning subjectsthat even he aclmittcd he kncw

"*ry littleabout "r've never takcn clrugs but this is as.ong about drug adclicti.rn", he said as Idecide d it was t inrc to go ,utsicie Ibr &smoke " Fair play to thc guy; hc r,+trr;te hisown tunes and thcy wcrcn't that bad for ayoung {rella.

sauntering back in, I orcrcrctl yet anotherbyew against my croctor's best Ldoir* andalmost {ailed to noticc mustaclrioso l.{eilPhi.lipl employing an inreresring pluckingte{:h.nique that un l"ortunate ly* failed topr<>duce an intcrcsli,g seiuncl. He had thescrewer| shut cycs a,cl steepled brow of aman who doesn'r care whether or not hisaurlience can hcar him. Luckily we cauldn,t.John Lennon's w'orking cJuss Hero isdirgey enough rvithrur sr6wi ng it trown to apoint that makcs evalutio,i* srumhlingprogress sesnl lightnin g fast.

exhalation blcw the {oam aff& whaek of pinrs, the high paint of t\ecventng took his place . stai ri* Elvis Manwas well worth the wait. Theye LS a traclitionfoundad on tone tl,,af o1d men who insistthat, had it nat been for the trouble with thestrong preseriptian medici ne and the bananaand bacon s_andwiches, The King wotrrtl bequite literally taking up residenfe in someunknown backwater 6r their conscience.stan is not one of them . He has a real voicelnd a hefty chunk of charisrna thar his we ilf":ry*! gut. cannat clisguise r.vsn though hctol! the jake about writing songs on thet*ilet no less thun three times. v

stan's admiratrle perfurmanee cailed aclose l* an *, venin g thit I won 't s{r*fi forget.1 -wove my way home cadrhled in a *ir*glaw that lasted u,til wakiug tbe nextmorning, a

"morning that {br l&s pleasant

reasons will never allow n1s to firget itsprcgcnitor. GoorJ gas. ?y

Bangor AYE Toob eO

freeman

fenwi*-Smytht

This morning I awoke to find a giganric pigstanding at the back dtror chewing on atreetroot amidst a scene of utter carnige anddestruction. My pnze sow had slipped 6er styat some ungodly hour and der":imated thevegetable pafch. When I stumbled bleary-eyed upon the scene she glanced over hershoulder insolently, gave an inten og atorysnort and sauntered off' to who-knows-whatnew calamity seem ingly ufiaware thatanything.was amiss. It is my principle nevertcr. slaughterr an animal antil they haveexhausted all othrr us$s but this porcinepandemonium has sfretched that principle toits limit. I hope the wrerched beast linowshow close it came to having its bacon fried.

lt took nre the first half of the day to clearup the mess and take stock of the damagewhich was, Iuckily for the now recapture,Jbeast, widespread trut mi*imal. With rhi backtrf the work broken by lunch time I sat downto enjoy a cald beverage aruJ a ploughman,son the veranda. Having got myself outside acouple of pints of rny owrl curious cider trrethought of my televisual duries was not so

layytiyg es it had been at six in the moming.Still" I don't rnind telling you that it,s ;damned shame lo ha e to turn one's back onthebeayty of Llillffarm on such a fine day forsometlring so sqaalaraus as TV. The ediiors'neck-bre athing is becorning irksolnehowever, so in we go again,

I shoulei wafll yorr that since our lastexcursion, the lunatics have taken over theasylunr. (Singerly ruming the handle of thedoor to the "lbobsphere we are thrown backby the sheer fbrce of the nonsense that isrampant hehind it. Against a howling rvincrthat seeks to strip the minel of self iontrollayer by layer, we must use what rernains ot'our will to cross the threshold snharrned andslam the door behind us. We're in. A hushdescends but the respite is a short one. It ispitch dark. A shriek tiorn sonle far ofT comer

cuts the air aruJ echoes around our bervilderedears. Stay still.

As I light a kerosine lamp, the clreadtirl$cene is given a sickly illumination. aigBrother on *:ive alm*st succeeds in grabtlinfme bet-ore lve have' eveR started. It plans t;beat us all to dearh with a diaiy chairresemhling Rodin's fiates of klell buf havingbeen here betirre, I am prepared, I swing thElarnp towards its Ciollum eyes and witt astrangled squawk it scuttles back to its fetirJlair.

A mumhling creature shamt:les towards us.Cherry k:{,ealey,, a perfect exem ?ilar of the kindof hopeless wretch that roams the outer[phere these days, hosts her own prografir onthe B|RC. One look et this empt/ vesselpreperes us fbr the fact that she is dessendedfitrrn the chadwyck-Llealey Baronets and hasmarried someoRe called Roly. They havt-continued to adrJ to the opacity or theiralready rnuddied gene pool by pioducing adanghter that they have named (aca, an actof abuse that has somehow passetl under theraclar of the social sl*rvices. L{ealey bouncs-saround rvearing sn o'l don't know what,sgoing oR" look on her f"ac'e while tac-klingwith unparalleled indelicacy the really horissues of' contemporary lif-e.

In Che rry l{ealey: Love and Moncy, shedrags unsuspecting orange people into acorrvcrted warehouse space that she calls her"hub" and quizzes them cn why they havsn,tdurnped their ugly poverty strickeri spousesyet. Unsurprisingly, she is invariably unableto understand the answer and resorts toplastering that tratlemark expression oftoftbe-noscd incornprehension al! over herstupid lhcc. wc had better move on beftrreshe starts to spcak, a hor-ror that even thernost hardcncd c.rinrinals amongst usshouldn't bc lirrcccl to snclure.

Beliefs are what divide people. Doubt unites them.PGt r Urtlnoy (1927 -2OO4t

Bangor AYE Toob etYallow me and rvatch your step. Wait, I think

I discem a fhint light in the riistince. We musthe getting close to safer territory. ?{ere comes.fhelma's Cypsy Girls, a wyrd sister of My,Big fr'nt {i.y,psy, Lfi'edding that has beaten arnarginally more respectful path than hersihling ttrrough the long grasri of Channel 4.Thelma is a seamstress specialising in themanwfasture of wedding dresses t"or thetravelling community. A documentary teamfollows her valiant attempts to teach the tricksof the trade to a gallimaufry of wenches,generously providing the last gypsy standingwith a job fbr li{'e. Thehma is a gootl womanwith a powertirl moral sense but we all knowdeep down that this is not why we arewatching. We're watching it fbr the samereasons that a certain kind ot' person mightenjoy the sight of an old age pensioner beingunsucsessfirlly resuscitated on a supermarketfloor. There is always the distinct possibilitythat. someone might actuatly die in one of themany vicious altercations. Ilappily nobodycloes although sometirnes it's toue'h and go.

I love the lingual gymnastics that thetraveller girls employ in the absence ofstandardised grammar. In one episode , a

particularly dangerous looking specimen ishoping that she will be chosen by Thelma rocontinue to the next stage of training. *'I

wouldn't mind if I got puck"',, she saysdisplaying a fraw tor language that betrays thesoul of a poet. Children do the same sort ofthing when learning the language and "puck"seems at least as sensible as "picked" to thisold coclger.

The light is now strong cnough to extinguishour lamp hut trefore our cycs have time toproperly adjust we are blindsided by a heftyburrage of' swearing. 'I'he ltarnsay appr{taches.This ridiculous troglodyte of a thing hasrecently been roaming around prisons makingan already hellish existcnce fhr worse for theinmates. ln Ramsay On Prison Life (Channel4l', he is more than usually poisonous. "lf it'stough on the outside, I thirrk it should be toughon the inside", he says without a hint of irony."t#hy should thcy bc sittin' on their arses. Iwant to get prisoncrs giving something back."This rJeranged sentirncnt suggests he had neverbeen in a prison bclirre this visit and I reckon itis ttow safb to say hc r,von't trc going back tooile in a hur:ry. Dcspite some valiant attcmptsby prisoners to tirtally repay the insult of his

presence by way of seriotrs injury alas the foolescapes unscathed to bully another day. Heltr'sKitchen (ITY) is far more enterlaining, mostlytrecause Ramsay isn't around that much gxceptto throw the odd tantrum at fat yanks and caLleveryone -big boy' regardless of their gender,'Yes?!'

fr*owgh af this barrel scraping. Onwards intothe light. Revenge (C,hannel 4) is that rarcst ofthings, a high quality melodrama. "ThisAmerican beast is set amongst the great and thegaod of the *Tamptons and is wellphotog raphed in &n almost hyste ricallycolourful palette. Madeleine Stowe perlbrrns awonderfully hamrny star turn as high-so ciegroyal Victoria (irayson, a lady with a deeplysha,Jy past. She is responsible tbr ruining theIife of a littte girl who has now grown up hell-bent on ruthlessly exactin g the revenge of thetitle. This is Kill Bill rn,ith a clutch tlag. I,lugechunks of the dialogue are conducted in silenceby rvay of meaningful stares, raised eyebrowsand the bigge*t hairdos qirrce Dynasg,. Pluckyunderdogs,, billionaire socialites and earthy barowners with designer stubble spice thisunsubtle mix to a heady richness that makes itessential viewing for anyone with a decentsense of humour.

There is a lot of good non-fiction roamingthe spacious prairies of the inner Sphere. LiarryPotter (no not that one), an ex-clergymantumed barrister gives us an interesting legalIesson in The Strange Case $ the Law (8,[]C)while the towering hsrbivore known asStoryville (BBC) shines an unflinchingspotlight on everything from the sordid netherwarld of the lapanese modeling industry to tlrelargely unknown plight of black Afiicansaffbcted by albinism.

f'omedy is doing t\ne erren if The Might"vs,east is more than abit rJerivative. I'm sure alltlre young dudes find it very arnusing and Iprobably would too if it weren't fbr the factthat 1 know where it's all bcen nicked fiorrr. Anundeniahly slick se mi-musical rorfip, it'shasically The [;'light o{ the Conchoruls untidilyspliced with Spared and unceremoniouslyforced into a lblighW Soosh shaped sausageskin but it raises an occasional titter and thekiels shoulcl be given top marks for trying.

Right, that's it. Take only memories andleave only footprints. This way firr the exit andI'11 see you all back at the Wrong ffnd the nexttime round. tr*:S

Bangor AYE Feuilleton ee

Rrolp 0 Corw%Y wlth 4erda DwwwosVictoria Sponge lteluye EditionlnqredientsFor the $ponge2259r I 8oz Butter2259r I 8oz Self-Raising Flour2259r I Baz (Caster) Sugar4large1 nice

EggsLemon (zest)

This is not just a dry sponge sandwichwith a dribble of old jam wedged inbetween. This Victoria $ponge is a truedelight and vary easy to make, too.

Preheat the oven: 180oCone Mix the butter and the $ugar untiltlufty with an electronic hand mixer.two Add the eggs, one at a time, andmix until bubbly and really fluffy.three: Add the flout stir it in a little bit toavoid a flour-dust cloud. Continue withelectrical hand mixer. Tip: The longeryou mix everything the better thesponge will be.four: Divide the sponge into twogreased spring forms. tsake in thepreheated oven for approx. 20 minutes.Tip: You know the sponge will be readyif you stick in a sharp knife, or any otherpointy object, and no dough sticks to it.five: Remove sponges from the formsand leave to cool on a wire rack.six: Quarter the strawberries and warmthem up together with jam in a poUpan.Leave to cool. Tip: lf you want you canleave tour or five of the biggeststrawberries for decorating.seven: Mix the cream, lemon juice andvanilla seeds/essence and beat untilstiff.eight: Put one of the sponges on a on aplale, flat side down, and smear thestrawberry and jam mixture on it. (Don'tworry if it's a bit runny, the $ponge willsoak it in)

For the Filling Plus150gr I 5oz Strawberry Jam a bit of icing sugar25$gr I $az Strawberries284m1 I 1l2pl Double CreamVanilla Pod or Essencesame nice Lernon fiuice)

nine: $rnear the cream mixture over itnext. Caution: lf the jam is still warm itwill melt the cream and ruin the cake.Tip: You can leave a little bit of creamfor decoration.ten: Put the other sponge on top ahdpre$s down very lightly. Make sure theflat side is up. $prinkle $ome icing$ugar through a sieve on top.

Decorating tips:1. You can pipe the cream on top or just

smear a slim layer over the topinstead of using icing $ugar.

2. You can use the strawberries for anice centre piece or a circle of halvesaround the edge.

3. You can do tip 2 and 3 together.4. Be creative.

Chocolate Yariation:1. Add REAL cocoa to the sponge.2. Use orange zest instead of lemon

zest for the sponge.3. Use a mix af strawberries,

raspberries, blackberries andblueberries and a mixed berry jam.

4, Do not put lemon juice or vanilla intothe cream.

Bangor AYE Feuilleton A3

NOUCH$TUTTtlo. I for incensrnnd sltsrnutius slothing!

Bangor AYE Wft&Whimsy e4

ReligionlsanIln$ulttohuman

good, people d.oing good thlngs ana evilpeople doing bad, things, but fOfgood, peopre to d,o bad tn:,nes, it,

takeS retiglorroSteven lllelnberg (oS.OS.rgCg- )

@OdeitMrffi$rI07]lwlrsw,nmrsl

BangorAyeSeptember lssue

Octob er 2AI2

FREE

MUSK

,,x

lyl

ry

-

g bPtrr,B ,-*A. 'fficW=

-

ffiru

&

ignity. $rith or wthour m, you,d, have

- ""..,.,.-"" "-"-,*.--,,, -"J