September 1941

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Copyright TRIANGLE Editions.++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Intro to a meeting from September, 1941:

You will see that in life you get back exactly what you put in. Your life is themirror of what you are, it is your image. You are passive, blind, demanding. Youtake all, you accept all, without ever feeling indebted. Your attitude towardsthe world and towards life is the attitude of one who has the right to demandand take. Of one who doesn't need to pay or gain. You believe that all thingsare due to you, only because it's you! All your blindness is there. It doesn'tcatch your attention. It is however what, in you, separates a world fromanother.

You have no measure to measure yourself up. You live only between 'I like it'and 'I don't like it'. Which means that you have appreciation only for yourself.You do not allow for anything above you - theoretically or logically maybe, butnot in reality. This is why you are demanding and keep on thinking thateverything should be cheap, and you can afford to pay for anything you want. Youdon't recognize anything above yourself, or outside yourself or inside yourself.This is why, I repeat, you have no measure and live only to satisfy your whims.

Yes, your 'self appreciation' makes you blind! It is the biggest obstacle to anew life. One has to be able to pass this obstacle, this threshold, before onecan go further. It is the test that separates the 'chaff' from the 'wheat' inpeople. No matter how intelligent, how endowed, how brilliant a man is, if hedoesn't change his opinion about himself, he will be lost for inner development,for the work based on self-knowledge, for a real evolution. He will stay as heis all his life. The first demand, the first condition, the first test for hewho wants to work on himself is to change his appreciation of himself. He cannotjust imagine, or simply believe or think, but actually *see* things in himselfthat he did not see before, really see them. Never will his opinion abouthimself change as long as he will not see inside himself. And in order to see,

e has _to learn_ to see: it is the first initiation of man into self-knowledge.

Before anything else, he has to know what to look for. Once he knows it, he hasto make efforts, focus his attention, look constantly, with tenacity. Bymaintaining his attention on it, by not forgetting about looking, one day he maysee. If he sees once, he can see a second time, and if this is repeated hecannot ignore seeing. This is the state to look for in our observation; it isfrom this that the true desire, the desire to evolve, will be born; from coldwe're becoming hot, vibrating; we will be deeply touched by our reality.

Today we have only the illusion of what we are. We overestimate ourselves. We donot respect ourselves. To respect myself, I have to have recognized in me a partwhich is higher than the other parts, and to which I show respect by theattitude I have towards it. In this way I will respect myself. And myrelationships with others will be ruled by the same respect.

We have to understand that all other measuring units, talent, erudition,culture, genius, are changing units, units of detail. The only true measure,never changing, objective, the only real one, it is the measure of inner vision.'I' see - 'I' see myself - and you have measured. With a higher, real part, youhave measured a lower one, also real. And this measure, defining by itself therespective roles of each part, will bring you to self-respect.But you will see it is not easy. And it is not a bargain. One has to pay a lot.For the bad payers, the lazy, the losers, no chance. One must pay, pay a lot,pay immediately and pay in advance. Pay from oneself. With sincere efforts,wholeheartedly, without expectations. The more you will be willing to paywithout reticence, without cheating, without falsity, the more you will receive.And from then on, you will meet your true nature. And you will see all thetricks, all the dishonesty it goes to in order to avoid paying cash. Because youhave to pay with all the gratuitous theories, all the deeply rooted convictions,all the prejudice, all conventions, all 'I like it' and 'I don't like it'.Without bargaining, honestly, not just make believe. Trying to see while using

fake money. Try for a moment to accept the idea that you are not what you thinkyou are, that you overestimate yourself, therefore that you lie to yourself.That you lie to yourself always, every moment, all day long, your whole life.That the lie rules you to the extent that you cannot control it anymore. You areits victim. You lie everywhere. Your relationships with others, lies. Theeducation you' re giving, your petty conventions, lies. Your learning, lies.Your theories, your art, lies. Your social life, your family life, all lies. Andwhat you think of yourself, lies too. But you don't stop from what you're doingor from what you're saying, because you believe in you. You have to stop insideand observe. Observe without prejudice. While accepting for a time this idea oflies. And if you observe in this manner, paying of yourself, without self-pity,by giving all your false riches for one moment of reality, maybe someday you'llsee all of a sudden something you have never saw in you before. You will see aresomeone else from what you thought you are. You will see that you are two. Onethat is not, but takes the place and play the other's role. And the one that is,but so weak, so inconsistent, that just brought forth it disappears immediately.It cannot stand the lies. The smallest lie kills it. It doesn't fight, it doesnot resist, it is vanquished in advance. Learn to look until you have observedthe difference between your two natures, until you have seen the lies, theimpostor in you. When you will see your two natures, that day, in you, the truthwill be born.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Premiere Initiation, par G.I. GurdjieffQuestion de Gurdjieff (no 50) ed. Albin Michel, 1989, p.34-35+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


EXCHANGES

(The following texts are related to four group meetings which took place in Gurdjieff's home, in Paris, in 1943.This evenings of exchanges have been reconstructed, as true to their original as possible, with the help of notes taken with Gurdjieff's approval.)

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First Evening-------------------

R. - How is it that the truths one believes in and one is sure of, do notenter us more profoundly, but stay on the surface and do not change ourlife?

G. - Because you are convinced at the time when 'it speaks'. Afterwards, youreturn to life...

R. - And I do something else than what I am convinced of. I act against whatI believe in.

G. - We are divided. This is a fact. Think that we have in us two independentorganisms: one is the result of our education, of all that we havegathered, the other being our intial, original one. This original organismcannot function unless I am relaxed, at ease and alone. When I go back intoactive life, it becomes weak, it cannot act anymore; it is the other onethat takes over. I cannot do anymore what I have decided. And I go back todoing things as usual.Choose precise tasks and, before you go out to life, when you are alone athome, you relax and you make yourself a plan. You shall represent toyourself how you are going to behave during the day. And you promiseyourself to follow it exactly. You are going to fail maybe ten times, maybetwenty times, but the twenty-first time you will be able to do what youdecided when alone. There is no other way for now, one has to make a plan.Like I was advising you, you will put yourself at ease, be calm, relaxed.Only then will you make your planning for the day. Then you go out in lifeand you try to do exactly as planned.If you manage to do it, treat yourself with something nice. If you forgetto do it, punish yourself.

R. - One doesn't have enough will to punnish oneself...

G. - One has to get used to. Struggle. This struggle gives results little bylittle. It accumulates them in you. This gives you strength for the future.

You fail once, ten times, but each stuggle gives results, like a substancethat accumulates in you. It is this substance that will help you make theconscious decision.

L. - How can we work with another? With spouses in particular?

G. - That is true hapiness when two beings living together have the sameaspirations, are interested in the same ideas and are doing the worktogether. One has to learn to make use of this blessing.The work shared with someone else is much more profitable. It doesn'tmatter with whom: a philosopher and a shoemaker can very well worktogether.Each one of them should try to make the other's life easier, to destroy theconditions that bring about anger, in which so much energy is lost.Self-love, especially, must be abolished. It is necessary to be able tocommunicate sincerely, aiming for mutual help.Actually, you inner worlds are different, but in working together in thisfashion your inner worlds can become One.Husband and wife are those who can help each other most. But this is validfor all those who live together, be they brothers or friends.

I. - You recommended that I read, that I proceed gathering information, butwhere to start? Shall I study some questions before others?

G. - What is important, is to grasp the soul of things, the essence and nottheir form. Forget the words, the details, ignore them for the time being.But try to hold in you their substance, that which is behind them. This iswhat you should accumulate in you. This is what, by way of inneraccumulation, will bring about slowly an understanding that will be reallyyours.

(Turning slowly then towards P., reputed for his culture and erudition)

For instance, in all you that you write, among all the words, all that isuseless, all that objectively has no value, there may be a lille diamondspark. It is that you have to look for, grasp and acummulate in you.

D. - My wife is reproaching me for being a lot more selfish ever since Ijoined the work. I'm wondering, what have I negelected?

G. - Yes, certainly: not all the aspects of Work have been observed. You havefulfilled a certain number of them, but you obviously left one out... Whichone?It's your task to find it.For the moment, you are like a good milking cow. She's giving plenty ofmilk, but when the bucket is full, a sweep of her tail spills everything.

K. - To be truthfull, I feel like I should help my child for whom I amresponsible, -but I see that I cannot do it and I do not even know, infact, what I shall allow or forbid him to do.

G. - First of all, it's better not to forbid things to a child, because thesethings go in through one ear and go out through the other.You must, before anything else, bring up in him the impulse that would helphim act this way or the other - or stop him from it. For this, a number ofmeans are available. For instance, you could tell him a little story inwhich the litlle boy is mean towards his grandmother. In this way,indirectly, you will awake in him the impulse of respect towards hisgrandmother and if you are reprimanding him on this subject, the groundwill be already prepared.You can't really change anything profoundly. On the outside, have the bestattitude possible, on the inside work, work to become trully responsible.

(At the end of dinner, several persons leave the table to do the dishes.Mr. Gurdjieff turns then towards his neighbour to the left and reproacheshim to have not fulfilled his 'director's' obligations* )

G. - This may seem to you unimportant. But for him who knows how to carry hisbusiness daily in life, this is a big thing.There is never only one aspect. In reality there are always seven. If youknow how to conduct your business well, others will follow, even ifautomatically. But if you are neglecting only one of these aspects, theresult will turn bad - even if you have done this well all your life.

If you are assuming the role of director, you have to control all of itsaspects. You have to be able to watch over all the details.While you are fulfilling your obligations nothing should interfere with it.Even if have millions of dollars worth of business going on, you shouldcompletely forget about it. Act as I tell you, and when the moment comes totake care of your million dollars business you will know exactly how toact. If you get used to to well the thing of the moment, you will learn todo well all other things.You are here, now. Sacrifice everyhting else. Al of your presence, all yourthinkning, all your associations shall be concentrated on the thing you'reworking on.In your ordinary life you have to fill out all your obligations. You haveto think in advance for a week or two, and never fail. You have the time -you shall know how to find it.Think seriously of all aspects, prepare yourself.In reality, you are always wasting time. Whith such an internalorganisation, man will never get far.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Autres paroles de GurdjieffQuestion de Gurdjieff (no 50) ed. Albin Michel, 1989, p.84-87+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


EXCHANGES

(The following texts are related to four group meetings which took place in Gurdjieff's home, in Paris, in 1943.This evenings of exchanges have been reconstructed, as true to their original as possible, with the help of notes taken with Gurdjieff's approval.)++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Second Evening-------------------

G. - Anyone has something to say that may interest all here?

L. - I would like to ask a question about vanity. Why is that, in the bestmoments as in the worst, vanity always intervenes? Being successful with anexercise or failing it, it's always an excuse for vanity.

G. - It may be your education that made you so. Your parents' influence, or yoursurroundings, or your friends. Vanity has become your foundation, thedominant factor of your being. When another factor, another impulse comesup, your vanity acts at the same time, and since it is stronger, it takesover everything.This is a very good observation. You have to realize that your enemy isthis factor that is crystallizing in you.

(Turning towards doctor A.)

- 'This should interest you, doctor. It is an important trait of humanpsyche.' Sometimes, a little thing like this can stop all inner work.Objectively, it is a small thing, but for the one that experiences it, itis a big enemy, an *organic* one. You cannot stop it. It is a thousandtimes stronger than you. It kills everything. You have to reinforce youindividuality, your true 'I'. When the later will be capable to direct yourfunctions, then you should 'cut' your vanity. Today, this is impossible.But struggle to diminish its force, struggle with the help of the exercisesI have given you. New factors are emerging in you. Let them crystallize andyou'll see that, by itself, the other factor, vanity, shall diminish. Andnow, let me tell you that your question has helped me to better understandyou: it showed me who is your enemy, your 'dog' number one. Among otherreasons, there are the 'good' books, the books so called educational, thattaught you that this is a necessary factor in life. This is the very thingwe instill in children. We do everything to have vanity crystallized inthem. Nobody thought that one day, when you'll grow up, you'll take anotherway. And changing ways... it is very difficult. If you'd have stuck to yourfirst way, vanity would have been for you a very useful thing. Forinstance, if you were a government employee, a Minister, a high rankingofficer, it would have been excellent. But for you your inner life, it's

the number one dog. Mark down this day, as an anniversary. Until now Icould not give you the exact reasons for you inner misunderstanding. Now Isee better. Your inner landscape is clear to me. You helped me help you.

A. - I would like to ask a question similar to my fellow's one. And yet,what threatens me is not vanity, rather the desire that everybody shouldhave a good opinion of me.

G. - It is exactly the same thing. It is the same factor - under adifferent form: play the braggart.

A. - But sir, this happens to me anyway, even if I don't stand to gainanything from it.

G. - It is the same thing.

A.- A year ago sir, when I came to you for the first time, I have asked youa similar question. But nothing has changed since.

G. - A year ago you did not have the possibility to change. Now, it isanother thing.

A. - The only change, it seems, is in the manner I thrive for this opinion.Before, everybody could see it. Nowadays, it's less obvious: I have becamemore subtle.

G. - Why are you saying this? Nothing has changed. You simply became awareof acting in an abnormal manner. Your impartial reason has observed it. Itis not subtler, even if it may look that way...

A. - It tarnishes everything I do.

G. - Certainly. It emanates, it colors everything - in yellow, forinstance. And since it is the strongest thing in you, it paints yellow allyour functions.I'm telling you the same thing I told your friend: you have to consciouslycrystallize in you another factor, a stronger one. I gave you enoughmaterial to do it. If you practice with perseverance this vanity factorcould be transformed. If you manage to crystallize another factor, strongerthan it, vanity will go back to a simple function. By itself, this vanity

factor is there. Only, it should never have the initiative, never takecharge of your 'I'.It has to stay a simple function. When it is the case, just bring it up asa function.

A. - But if I call it up, it takes all the space, this is what it's dangerous.

G. - We are talking about the future. My explanation is only to help youwork with it. You have not verified it.In fact, it is the same thing as with your friend. Here also, we have the'shit' education, the useless one. Call it what you want, I have only oneword for it: 'shit'. Excuse me, I don't speak French very well, so I call'shit' everything which is bad.Everybody here got this education. I have realized that due to a veryoriginal experience.You know that I always have candy in my pockets, and when I see a child,I'm giving him one. There's always someone around the child, his father,his mother, his aunt. They all, without exception, say the same thing tothe child:'What are you supposed to say now?'. And little by little, the child startsto mechanically say 'thank you' to everybody, without feeling anythinganymore. This is not only idiotic, it is a crime! When a child feels likesaying 'thank you', I understand. I know his language. And this is what Ilove. Just to hear this, just to witness this true impulse, I give away 5kilos of candy everyday - which I'm paying 410 francs per kilogram. Only tosee this impulse... But when children are told 'What are you supposed tosay now?', it kills everything. It kills the child for the future, it killshis willingness. This is a very good example. I don't know how youunderstand it, but for me this is an edifying one. Everything ismechanical, we make the children function like robots which are reactingone way or the other depending on which button we push.

A. - And yet we live in society. There are a lot of conventions thatchildren have to learn.

G. - I did not say that children should not comply. Remember exactly what I

said. I said that we should 'externally play a role' but internally remainfree, without identifying.Everybody should be educated to play a role corresponding to the truenature of that person. This is good, ideal even. But internally we shouldnot identify: we should be free. This is the most neccessary thing.Everything else depends upon this little thing.

Ms. E. - Mister Gurdjieff... Regarding this, I would like to ask you aquestion. When one discovers late in life a truth about oneself, one looksback and sees that a lot of things should have been different. One thenexperiences regret and even pain. Should one reject this regrets or, on thecontrary, keep them and use them?

G. - If you really verified what you just said, you may have a bigopportunity: prepare for your future. With your experience, you may haveten thousand times more chance than a younger person. I congratulate you.You have a lot of possibilities for the future. Not for the present: thepresent is the result of the past and I cannot repair your past. Too manyyears neccessary. But if, from now on, you will try to put order in yourpast, I will take on me the responsibility of your future.

(Silence)

Ms. D. - Can you tell me how to give the right education to the children weare entrusted in our classrooms? I already changed my way of teaching sinceI came here. But many times I am in difficulty. I think children aresensitive to my efforts of 'remembering myself'. The best I can do is tofight against strong negative emotions. It seems children are sensing thistoo.

G. Thousand times more than you. A child crystallizes a thousand times morefactors than in you. This is why it is dangerous to suggest something to achild whose sensitivity is infinitely bigger than yours.

Mrs. D. - I have less trouble self-remembering in the classroom than atother times during the day.

G. Yes: these children do not emanate yet...

Mrs. D. - Before, when the children were noisy, I would shout to quietthem. Now, I try to be calm myself and the children are following suit.

G. You have realized a very good thing. The most important thing for thefuture of the children it is not your teaching: you can teach them onlymechanical associations. What counts are your vibes. This shows how harmfulthe unconscious education is - educating without being aware of what oneemanates.

Mrs. D. - I have observed also that a classroom is a cartoon of theschoolmaster; one can very well find out about oneself by the mood of theclassroom.

G. These are very good observations. Observe, observe again and you couldvery well know yourself through the children. For now, think egotisticallythat you are working for yourself. What I am doing now, I am doing in orderto become a good altruist later. Today I am a false altruist. I want firstof all to become a good egotist to be on solid ground.

Mrs. D. - I would also like to ask you for a specific advice. My little boyis trying to affirm himself more and more. He always says no, and opposeseverything. To make him give in, I have two solutions. I can talk to himfor a very long time and try to reason with him - but this is not alwayspossible. Or distract him, give him a toy or something, which is very easyto do - but this doesn't seem OK to me.

G. The second solution is bad, the first one is good: talk to him usinganalogies. Children like them very much.

Mrs. D. - But it is very difficult.

G. - But for him it is easy. For you it may be difficult, but for a childit is very easy to understand a good explanation. It is difficult for youto explain to him because you are wrongly educated. You were brought up notto be a schoolmaster, but to knit socks. And yet, here you are aschoolmaster... and me, I have holes in my socks!

(Laughs)



EXCHANGES


Third Evening-------------------

H. - Sir, I would like to ask you a question. Having finished, severalweeks ago now, the tasks that I have given myself, I since find myself in asort of happy inbalance, not missing anything nor wanting anything inparticular. I would like to continue, beacuse I know that there is auniverse above this one I live in at the moment. But I cannot advance and Ifeel like I cannot do anything by myself.

G. - You are satisfied with little. You feel this is a bad sign. It isexactly now that you should make efforts. You must not take it easy. Youhave to create an inner struggle between your individuality and yourfunctions.The fact that you could not work anymore is in itself an excellentcondition: it is the opportunity to push yourself. If you pass this crisis,this small crisis, you will be able to advance again.

H. - I cannot see clearly what way to follow or what aim to make.

G. - A 'way' is not necessary. What is necessary is that a certainsubstance accumulates in you. A substance that cannot be created other thanby struggle.

Work, gather, put together the results of this struggle. You have in youaccumulators in which this substance can be accumulated; like electricity.You have to create a battle between your head and your animal. Do not stop.Help yourself with impulses coming from the outside world. When we struggleinside with thought, body and feeling, this substance is formed. You needit in order to continue. Let it gather where is convenient. For now it isnot important to know where it is located. Accumulate it, this is what youare missing.You are still young, you don't have experience, you are empty. But you areon the right track and you should not, above all, stop. Start the struggleagain. THIS IS THE TRUE WAY*. Are you looking for ways to do it? These arenot important. Struggle. You know better than me what to pick on.For instance, what your body likes, whatever it is you usually give to it,stop giving it anymore. This way it will learn to serve. You will see that,until now, whatever your individuality really liked, your body neverconsented to it.

L. - Sir, in order to remember myself, you gave me the task to work withsomeone who is close to me. I observed, and so did my wife, that this aimhas changed our relationship, but only up to a certain point. You told usthat it is a blessing to work together - but there is an obstacle that noneof us can overcome. You told her that you will tell us what to do to tosucceed.

G. - Do you have children? Then, there is a first thing to be dealt with.Like for all parents, these children are creating for you specialobligations. Well then, tell yourselves that living for yourselves is over!Now you should, you and your wife, set this common aim: live for yourchildren. You shall impose yourselves, in everyday life, to sacrificeeverything for your children. This aim will create in you a true contactwith work - because it is an objective aim, and the work is objective too.Start this. Talk about it with your wife. Discuss it together, easy andopenly. Here, nothing shall strain your relationship. Aim to this: all for

your children. Not forever, for an established length of time.A struggle will be necessary for both. Because if you both set this aim,since your type is different, each one of you shall have to carry on apersonal struggle inside.The one that will fulfill this aim will 'pass' his exam. And if you do thisfor a week or two, I will be able to give you further indications.

P. - I would like to know how to avoid imagination taking over, outside themoments when I work myself, which last only for a certain time.

G. - For this, I am going to give you a very simple advice, a very ordinaryone. You are also on the right track. What I am going to suggest to youwill amaze you. Trying to understand it beforehand, with your usual logic,will not give you anything. Later, you would see why this advice was good.Every time you have some spare time, count 1,2,3,4,5,6... to 50. Then countbackwards 50,49,48,47,47,46, etc. Do this seven times without stopping, andthen tell yourself the following words:

'I AM, I WANT TO BE, I CAN BE. Not to serve evil... But to serve the good. To help my fellow man when I will be capable of BEING. I AM.'

After this, start counting again, not mechanically, but consciously. Dothis during all your spare time. The first time this will look like anabsurdity to you. But when you had done it for two or three weeks, youwould thank me with all your heart.Did you understand me?

Ms. L. - Sir, both here and with close ones, I experience a lot ofdifficulty in expressing myself, in manifesting my ideas and my feelings.This is very important for me. It is like being paralyzed. What can I do toged rid of it?

G. - You have to be IMPARTIAL.

(One should never do what I advise somene else to do. It is you I amtalking to now.)

You are *you*. You want to work, you want to have an 'I', a true 'I'. Yoraim is an independent 'I am'. If you don't have it yet, *imagine* that youalready have it.One who has an 'I' is impartial to all external things. He is impartial toall other people. For instance X. is mad. Nature made him so: heredity, hisfather, his grandfather... He is mad, but I don't get upset because he ismad. I take him as a fool. I have pity. This is called being impartial. Youlook at all X's manifestations, and you try to understand: where are themanifestations of a mad person coming from?There are different kinds of madmen. (G. lights up a cigarette). Forinstance, one holds his cigarette like this (he puts the burning end intohis mouth). A normal person would never do that. But I don't get upset: Ihave pity.

Dr. - But there are different kinds of pity. We can have pity while havingcontempt.

G. - You, you have this pity. Me, I don't have it. Either I have pity, or Idon't have pity. There are two possibilities: either he is mad, or he isinsolent. If he is mad, I have pity. If he is insolent, he will neverforget me.But pity is a necessity: everybody deserves pity. If you look at yourmanifestations in detail, you will realize that a part comes from heredity,another from the damages of education and the third one from the sins thatyou have committed when young. This makes three categories.The one that comes from heredity, I pity it, the second category, lesspity, but the third one I never forgive. I only speak here of subjectivethings. But if you apply this in your life, you will never be mistaken. Apart comes from heredity, the second one from education, the third from thebehavior of youth.

J. - Sir, a while ago I was very interested by P.'s question and youranswer. In my life, usually very agitated and vulgar, I observe how littlespace there is for the Work.I feel lost many times, which is normal. But what is less so, is that I

belong to this agitation, to this vulgarity that fits the ordinary personthat is stronger in me. And I am asking if, for my own work, it wouldn't bebetter for me to apply the advice you gave to P., because I think there issomething there that can liberate me, in a simple and neat way, from thenarrow cage I turn in continuously.

G. - No, that doesn't fit you at all! It is very difficult to count likethis: 1,2,3, to 50. I am going to give you something simpler.Do you have family? a father, a mother, a brother?

j. - And a sister.

G. - A sister too! You are five then!Starting tomorrow morning, take this task: every ten minutes - a littlemore, a little less, it doesn't matter - you will remember one of them insequence. First your father, the ten minutes after your mother, and so on.You will remember them and you will portray them to yourself. To end,another ten minutes after, do the exercise 'I AM... I WANT TO BE' with thesensation of your whole presence.Ten minutes after, you start again: your father, your mother, etc. And youspend all your spare time like this. This is even simpler. Do youunderstand?More, everytime it is your mother's turn, you'll think of her coming herewith silvery things on her ears, cheap things... and you will give yourword that when you will 'grow up' and you will have enough money, you willtake the task of buying her new ones, of gold. (With a wink to the mother:10% to me!).

Ms. E. - Would you allow me to ask you for advice?When I try to remember myself, I am always bothered by an idea: how toorganize my day so that everything goes well, that everybody will be happyat home? From another side, during my day, I am bothered by the ideasrefering to the inner work. I think to what I hear here, and it bothers meconstantly.

G. - One has to assign and sacrifice for this work a special time duringthe day.Life is one thing. Inner work another: their substance is different. When

you start working, you have to be actively aware. Your only task is yourWork. Before you start, you have to prepare yourself, to let go, to gatheryourself. And then, with all your presence, you do the work.Be an absolute egotist. Forget everything else. Forget your God, yourhusband, your son, the money. After, leave the work aside and come back tothe things of life.It is difficult. In the beginning one cannot do it for long, on tireseasily. If you work five minutes more, you are empty of all energy. It isbecause of this that one has to increase little by little, to get used toit: five minutes, six minutes, the ten minutes. Only in this way you willget a good start, to prepare yourself to aquire the state corresponding toa real man.If you work longer, it proves that you are not working with all yourpresence, but only with your head. And this you can do for thousands ofyears without gaining anything.Work for a short time, but work well: with all your presence. Then let lifetake its mechanical course, as usual, otherwise you will become apsychopath.Five minutes of real work are better than twenty-four hours of ordinarywork. Again, it is not the quantity, but the quality that counts: short butsubstantial.

H. - I would like to be able to follow a schedule: do what I decided when Isheduled it.

G. - For you, today, it is impossible to achieve that. Later, you will beable. You are therefore a man, like all men, not very strong. It is thelaw.Today, you can be active for a third of your waking state. Start by askingyourself if what you are going to do will give you sooner or later remorseof conscience. Think about it with all your presence. If you are not sure,don't do it; if you are sure you will not have them, then you can do it.In preparation, you relax, you calm yourself. Then you actively think andyou force yourself to make a program to achieve what you have decided todo.

Afterwards, you will lose this state, you will become again the slave ofyour associations. But what you have decided in that special state, take itas a task, as a service. Do not believe in you in your ordinary state: youwill always justify yourself, you will believe in you. You should notbelieve... you should not especially forget *how* you have decided yourprogram.Without this, you will have the 'tomorrow illness'. Beware of that. Decide.And when the time comes, do what you have decided. The most unhappy man inthe world is the one that has the 'tomorrow illness'. He will never change.Destiny is just, objectively just. It always produces what you deserved.What you have planted grows. But if have not planted anything, nothing thatyou want grows, something else grows: you need radishes and you gethorseradish. Horseradish is sometimes a delicacy. Sometimes not...

Z. - May I ask you a question? I think that to arrive at knowledge, one hasto be able to risk. Many times, I don't have the courage to be wrong and Ihide myself in my room.I would like to have the courage to be mistaken and go towards knowledge.

G. - For this not much is necessary! If for instance you know that you area zero, if you have really understood that you are a 'nulity', that you are'shit', and you don't want to be shit anymore, then you have to risk:either this or nothing. But if you already felt that you are a nulity andyou could become something else, why have fear? You have nothing to lose.And now, my dear host, seriously, do you understand?

B. - Mister Gurdjieff, when one is taken by a profound feeling of sadnesswhich is impossible to escape, what is the mechanical way to free oneselffrom that?

G. - If you don't know the cause of it?

B. - Yes.

G. - There is no such sadness, this is idiotic. See the medical specialist!I can recommend you to a neuropathologist. I know him very well, he givesme 10% (laughs).

B. - Sometimes I observe this after lunch.

G. - Oh! Oh! But this is a symptom! You eat a litlle too much. For a weekeat less. Observe what is happening and let me know. And if it is not this,we will find something else. Let's verify first.

B. - But it is not always after a meal...

G. - I repeat. Eat less, in general. Not much less. Do not eat the lastpiece: you understand? Bravo, then! Verify and next time we will talk aboutit.

B. - How can I cease to mistake what comes from my intellectual center andwhat comes from the emotional one?

G. - Take things in a simple way. When you think, you think. When you arewarm, or cold, these are your sensations. When you are angry, upset, whenyou love, when you don't love, these are your feelings.

B. - But in my actions, how can I stop the centers to impede on oneanother: to think with my feelings and reason instead of feeling? How tonot let them act for the other?

G. - This is weakness, this is an illness.You should not think with your feelings. You should think with your head.But to think with a *true* thought, otherwise the intiative comes from thefeeling and the thinking center is only a function then.The center of gravity should be the true thinking. If not, you are not anindividual: you are a machine.Every man should try to get used of being an *individual* on the inside, anindependent person, something which is not 'a dog's tail'.**There is here a very characteristic symptom: if your presence concentrateson your thinking, then you are an individual. (Of course, there aredifferent levels of individuals, but this is not important for the moment).You are an *individual* when you have your center of gravity in the centerof *true* thinking. If your center of gravity is in another center, in yourbody or in you feelings, you are only a robot.When you are working, you should always have as an aim to be connected totrue thinking. Do it consciously. Otherwise, everything in you will proceed

unconsciously.



EXCHANGES


Fourth Evening-------------------

H. - Sir, I do not understand what conscious love may be. I cannot understand how the lucidity with which we observe our passion, with which we discover its causes, does not kill this passion on the spot.

G. - Well, you are saying that love, usually, concerns only the functions. Mostof the time it is only the physical polarity that plays a part. When you would understand this, this kind of love will become repulsive for you. This love that everybody has, you have. This love is based on sex, and sex on polarity. It is an illness, a weakness. If someone has the nose like this, you love her, if she doesn't have a nose like this, you don't love her.Conscious love it is a different thing, that is the true love. The one that maybe you grandfather had...True love is objective.In Paris, they use the word 'love' for sex. True love has been forgotten.

B. - But should one repress ordinary love in favor of the other?

G. - Look at as a weakness. And at the same time, use it to observe yourself: we must make use of everything. Instinctively, you may sense real love,

discover its taste. You could have pity on a person that has a nose you don't like, a person that seems ill, a motherless child, a hungry person, a man without woman, and feel capable of putting yourself in each of their places.Strive to make contact with your different impulses. If you remain impartial, you will see that all you have had until now is 'shit' - and, at the same time,that you could try to have the taste of a different quality of love.

A. - Sir, in order to experience this conscious love, can polarity be a help oris it always an obstacle?

G. - Obstacle, naturally. But you cannot help it. You are a slave of this law. Now you want, now you don't want. Your body does what you like or what you don't like.Consciously, you can free yourself form this law of polarity. But first, you have to have had the taste of true love. All I can tell you in the meantime, isthat love, objective love exists. Later, we could talk about it. All we would say now would be theoretical.

L. - The Work, be revealing to me the existence of two worlds, has also revealed the existence of two times. First that of the body we inhabit: time ofworry and fear. And the time of remembering, where there is no worry or anguish:a time that contains in itself an explosive force which can hold, in a very small shell, a second richer than tens of years of body life - and sleep. In this work time, there is no fear of wasting time. In an ordinary state, I'm afraid of wasting it. I would have liked to understand what is time.

(Mme de S. translates what L. wanted to say.)

G. - Enough! She has not translated everything, but this is enough for me to understand. You are observing that there are two different times for you. Likethere are two states: the ordinary state - the normal state in life - and the state of remembering. There are two times: the one in which you are used to understand and perceive all things, and the one of number 6, Colonels Renard street*. (* G.'s address in Paris)From now on, when you are afraid you're wasting your time, measure the time with your state. This time has a key: 'I AM'.

In your head, you say 'I Am'. At the same time, you have to have this sensationin your whole presence, in all your gestures... and immediately there will be a change. The cosmic time will definitely flow to suit your necessities. You are You.Even the cosmic laws obey unity, be it a small one.

L. - Isn't it harmful to feel such a difference between the two times?

G. - They _are_ different. This will help you to hurry, to do what you did not in your past. If you have the 'illness of tomorrow', this will not help you. But you have understood what this illness is.I am advising you to take all necessary measures to live under the time of 'I AM' - in the state of 'I AM'. Not only theoretically, when you remember it, butconcentrating more, with all your presence.This is truly a good question. The man that does not know this other state doesnot know by which time he lives. The one that knows it has in himself a factor for self-remembering. Either ordinary time or time as it lived at 6, Colonels Renard street.You understand? You understand what you have to do? Then do it. Later will comea question that I will explain in detail.Think that there are two kinds of time: the time of _work_ and the time of ordinary man.

Mme N. - You have said many times that it would be necessary to repair the pastand, for this, to experience remorse of conscience. When I look into my childhood, I find only catastrophes; I lost my parents very early, and after that all kinds of misfortunes happened. Instead of experiencing remorse I startcomplaining. I find in me someone who pities, complains and justifies itself. I would like to know how can I free myself fro this self-pity and hoe to chase away form my thoughts these things that seem to me unjust.

G. - Justice, you know, it's a big word. It is a big thing in the world. It is not any thing: it is an objective thing. Objective things follow the Law, the way the Law made them work.Remember what I told you: what you sow you will reap. And this Law doesn't concern individuals only, but also families and nations.Therefore, the things that happen on Earth come frequently from what has been

done at a certain time by the father or the grand father. And the consequences fall upon you, it is then you who have to face it.This is not an injustice. On the contrary, it is a very big chance for you. This responsibility will serve you as a factor for self-remembering. And in this way you will be able to redress the past for your father, grandfather and grand-grandfather. If this happened when you were young, it is because someone sowed it. Now, you reap. Somebody is dead and it is someone else that reaps.You should not think only of yourself. You are but a link in your bloodline: you cannot consider this selfishly. Or if you prefer, you can be selfish, but only in what concerns your blood and not in regards to your little life. It is an honor to occupy this place. Be proud of it.The more you will feel compelled to redress the consequences of the past, the more you will remember that, you also, did not do as you should have done. And so you can have ten times more remorse of conscience and the quality of your Being will increase accordingly. You are not a simple 'dog's tail'. You have a responsibility in your family's line.All your past and future family depend on you. All your family depends on how you repair the past. If you redress it for everybody, it is good. If not, it has no value. Do you see in what situation you find yourself in!Maybe you begin to understand now what justice is? Justice doesn't bother to solve your petty problems. Justice deals with big things. It is idiotic to think that God should deal with your small affairs. It is the same for justice.Justice doesn't touch all that, and at the same time, nothing happens on Earth without justice.

G. - (speaking to someone else):Now, when you say 'I Am', do you feel more compact or not?

L. - Yes, without doubt. I felt a big difference. For instance, the day before yesterday I had big problems. I was very agitated, very irritated. All of a sudden, I remembered the exercise you gave us. I tried it. And I had a very strong feeling, never experienced in my life. I felt that the problems were part of my body and not of myself, that what is truly Me could not have problems. I had this state for several seconds and then got back to my usual

state.

G. - When you come back, do you repeat: 'I Am"?Do you feel that 'I Am' is more compact?

L. - I did not try to say 'I Am'. I had a different sensation of my body and a feeling of great tranquillity.

G. - You had the taste. And now, are you self-remembering in a different way?

L. - It is different because, when I remember myself, this acts upon my life. Before, I didn't have it.

T. - I have tried, myself also, to do the new exercise. I felt that I really trusted 'me' -the ego- and not 'I'. At the same time, this gave me a new confidence that I never had before. I always believed, until now, that a great part of my experience came from imagination. I begin to understand that when I see 'me' distinct from 'I', it is real.

G. - Then you know you are two. You have the taste now. Can you categorically say that the body is one thing and the psyche another?

T. - Yes, certainly. But the body takes over myself quickly.

G. - Do you feel, when you are mechanical, that you have a certain quality and when you are present a completely different one?

T. - Yes. But both are experienced in the body, since it's in the body too thatI am present.

G. - From now on be frequently in a state of presence. You know today that you cannot really work unless you are present - both for inner and outer work. Whenyou are not present, you are only a piece of meat.

T. - I felt it a long time ago, but this exercise gave me a different taste.

G. - You felt it theoretically, but now it is a more _organic_ taste.You have a new taste, the taste of Awakening. Now aim to keep yourself awake aslong as possible. It is this the attribute of man. What can be greater than this?You want to be a real man? The attribute of real man is either well awake or well asleep. Either sleep well or be really awake. It is not possible to sleep well unless on has been well awake.

It is not necessary to pass one's time dreaming of acquiring something. The first aim is to be well awake. You should first become a true man, a true ordinary man. A true ordinary man sleeps well or is well awake. If you are not capable of being a true ordinary man, you will never go beyond, you will never become a truly accomplished man.May God help you in keeping this state of awakening, in having it not only for short periods of time.It is impossible to get there immediately. It has to come little by little...


September 1941

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