SELF-DEVELOPMENT IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY DOCTORAL TRAINING AND ITS IMPACTS ON ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS: A NARRATIVE ANALYSIS A thesis submitted to the University of Manchester for the degree of Professional Doctorate in Counselling Psychology 2021 Aspasia Ftenou School of Environment, Education and Development
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SELF-DEVELOPMENT IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY DOCTORAL TRAINING
AND ITS IMPACTS ON ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS: A NARRATIVE ANALYSIS
A thesis submitted to the University of Manchester for the degree of Professional
Doctorate in Counselling Psychology
2021
Aspasia Ftenou
School of Environment, Education and Development
Table of contents
TABLE OF CONTENTS ................................................................................................................................... 1
LIST OF TABLES ............................................................................................................................................ 4
LIST OF FIGURES .......................................................................................................................................... 5
ABSTRACT ................................................................................................................................................... 6
DECLARATION ............................................................................................................................................. 7
COPYRIGHT STATEMENT ............................................................................................................................. 8
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ............................................................................................................................... 9
CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION ..................................................................................................................... 11
OVERVIEW ...................................................................................................................................................... 11 AIM AND RESEARCH QUESTIONS ......................................................................................................................... 13 RATIONALE ...................................................................................................................................................... 15 STRUCTURE OF THE THESIS ................................................................................................................................. 15 CHAPTER SUMMARY ......................................................................................................................................... 17
CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW .............................................................................................................. 18
OVERVIEW ...................................................................................................................................................... 18 SELF, IDENTITY AND SELF-DEVELOPMENT .............................................................................................................. 18
Self .......................................................................................................................................................... 18 Identity .................................................................................................................................................... 20 Selves creating stories creating selves .................................................................................................... 22
LOVE AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS .................................................................................................................. 24 Love and its preliminary distinctions ...................................................................................................... 24
Romantic Love .................................................................................................................................................... 25 Relationships ....................................................................................................................................................... 25
Love as a socially constructed idea and love across cultures and time periods ...................................... 26 SELF-DEVELOPMENT IN HIGHER EDUCATION .......................................................................................................... 28
The impacts of transformation on the trainee through higher education .............................................. 31 The impacts of higher education and self-development on peers, family and friendships ..................... 33 The impacts of higher education and self-development on romantic relationships ............................... 36
RESEARCH AIMS AND OBJECTIVES ........................................................................................................................ 39 RESEARCH QUESTIONS ...................................................................................................................................... 40 CHAPTER SUMMARY ......................................................................................................................................... 40
CHAPTER 3: METHODOLOGY ..................................................................................................................... 41
OVERVIEW ...................................................................................................................................................... 41 PART ONE: EPISTEMOLOGICAL POSITIONING AND PHILOSOPHICAL UNDERPINNINGS ........................................................ 41 PART TWO: METHODOLOGY ............................................................................................................................... 43
A qualitative approach ........................................................................................................................... 43 Narrative Inquiry ..................................................................................................................................... 44 What is narrative? .................................................................................................................................. 45 Narrative Analysis ................................................................................................................................... 46
PART THREE: METHODS ..................................................................................................................................... 48 Participant Recruitment .......................................................................................................................... 48 Participants ............................................................................................................................................. 50 Presenting the participants ..................................................................................................................... 51 Data collection ........................................................................................................................................ 55
Interview Settings ............................................................................................................................................... 56 Semi-structured interviews ................................................................................................................................. 56 Interview schedule and Protocol ........................................................................................................................ 57 Pilot Study ........................................................................................................................................................... 57 Procedure ........................................................................................................................................................... 58 Field notes .......................................................................................................................................................... 60 Transcription process .......................................................................................................................................... 60
Data Analysis .......................................................................................................................................... 61 Narrative approach rationale .............................................................................................................................. 61
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Narrative Analysis ............................................................................................................................................... 62 Inductive approach of Narrative Analysis ........................................................................................................... 64 Process of analysis .............................................................................................................................................. 65
PART FOUR: EVALUATION OF METHODOLOGY AND ETHICAL CONSIDERATIONS ............................................................ 66 Reliability and Validity in narrative research ......................................................................................... 66
Trustworthiness .................................................................................................................................................. 66 Sensitivity to contexts ......................................................................................................................................... 67 Commitment and Rigour ..................................................................................................................................... 67 Transparency ...................................................................................................................................................... 68 Impact and importance ....................................................................................................................................... 68
Ethical issues .......................................................................................................................................... 68 RESEARCHER’S REFLECTIONS .............................................................................................................................. 69 CHAPTER SUMMARY ........................................................................................................................................ 70
CHAPTER 4: ANALYSIS ............................................................................................................................... 72
OVERVIEW ..................................................................................................................................................... 72 SUMMARY OF THE PARTICIPANTS’ NARRATIVES ...................................................................................................... 72 ANALYSIS OF THE NARRATIVE ACCOUNTS .............................................................................................................. 75 CONTENT CATEGORIES ...................................................................................................................................... 77
1. Developing academic and clinical practice experiences as the foundation for self-development 77 Self-developing process leads to enhancing experiences ................................................................................... 77 Academic and clinical practice experiences: Development, Challenges and Future Concerns ........................... 81
2. The doctorate’s negative and positive impacts on the romantic relationship ............................. 84 The doctorate’s negative influences on their romantic relationship .................................................................. 85 The doctorate’s positive influences on their romantic relationship ................................................................... 90
3. Self-development and its impacts on the romantic relationship .................................................. 94 Self-development impacts positively on the romantic relationship ................................................................... 94 Self-development impacts negatively on the romantic relationship ................................................................ 100 Relationship changes or break-up due to self-development ............................................................................ 104
RESEARCHER’S REFLECTIONS ............................................................................................................................ 106 Considering dual-role ........................................................................................................................... 106
CHAPTER SUMMARY ...................................................................................................................................... 108
CHAPTER 5: REFLEXIVITY CHAPTER ......................................................................................................... 109
OVERVIEW ................................................................................................................................................... 109 DISCIPLINARY REFLEXIVITY ............................................................................................................................... 110 PERSONAL REFLEXIVITY ................................................................................................................................... 110
Background .......................................................................................................................................... 111 Doctorate’s impact on my romantic relationship ................................................................................ 112
CHAPTER SUMMARY ...................................................................................................................................... 114
CHAPTER 6: DISCUSSION ......................................................................................................................... 115
OVERVIEW ................................................................................................................................................... 115 MAIN CATEGORIES AND ITS RELEVANCE TO THE WIDER EXISTING LITERATURE ............................................................. 115
Category 1: Developing academic and clinical practice experiences as the foundation for self-development ........................................................................................................................................ 116
Self-developing process leads to enhancing experiences ................................................................................. 116 Academic and clinical practice experiences: Development, Challenges and Future Concerns ......................... 120
Category 2: The doctorate’s negative and positive impacts on the romantic relationship ................. 125 The doctorate’s negative influences on their romantic relationship ................................................................ 125 The doctorate’s positive influences on romantic relationships ........................................................................ 130
Category 3: Self-development and its impacts on the romantic relationship ...................................... 132 Self-development impacts positively on the romantic relationship ................................................................. 133 Self-development impacts negatively on the romantic relationship ................................................................ 136 Relationship changes or break-up due to self-development ............................................................................ 137
RESEARCHER’S REFLECTIONS ............................................................................................................................ 139 CHAPTER SUMMARY ...................................................................................................................................... 140
CHAPTER 7: IMPLICATIONS, LIMITATIONS AND CONCLUSION ................................................................. 142
OVERVIEW ................................................................................................................................................... 142 IMPLICATIONS FOR COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY .................................................................................................... 142 HEALTH AND SOCIAL CARE PROFESSIONS IMPLICATIONS ........................................................................................ 144 WOMEN IN HIGHER EDUCATION AND IMPLICATIONS ............................................................................................. 145
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CONTRIBUTION TO KNOWLEDGE ........................................................................................................................145 RESEARCH LIMITATIONS ...................................................................................................................................146 RECOMMENDATIONS FOR FURTHER RESEARCH......................................................................................................149 CONCLUSION .................................................................................................................................................150
REFERENCES ............................................................................................................................................ 152
APPENDICES ............................................................................................................................................ 197
APPENDIX A - COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY IN THE UK .........................................................................................197 What is Counselling Psychology and its distinctive identity as a discipline?.........................................197 The scientist-practitioner and reflective practitioner models ...............................................................199
APPENDIX B - LITERATURE REVIEW SEARCH STRATEGY ........................................................................................201 APPENDIX C – THE THREE NOTIONS OF LOVE .....................................................................................................202
‘Eros’ ................................................................................................................................................................. 202 ‘Philia’ ............................................................................................................................................................... 202 ‘Agape’ .............................................................................................................................................................. 203
APPENDIX D - RECRUITMENT EMAILS TO UNIVERSITY COURSE ADMINISTRATIONS ......................................................204 APPENDIX E - RECRUITMENT FLYER .................................................................................................................205 APPENDIX F - INTERVIEW SCHEDULE ...................................................................................................................206 APPENDIX G - PARTICIPANT INFORMATION SHEET ................................................................................................208 APPENDIX H - CONSENT FORM .........................................................................................................................212 APPENDIX I - FIELDNOTES .................................................................................................................................214 APPENDIX J - FIELDNOTES EXAMPLE ...................................................................................................................215 APPENDIX K - JEFFERSON CODING SYSTEM ..........................................................................................................218 APPENDIX L - DATA ANALYSIS – STAGE 1 .........................................................................................................219 APPENDIX M - DATA ANALYSIS – STAGE 2 ........................................................................................................227 APPENDIX N – CATEGORIES AND SUBCATEGORIES TABLE .....................................................................................246 APPENDIX O - ETHICS APPROVAL ....................................................................................................................248
Word count: 53,853
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List of Tables
TABLE 1: PARTICIPANTS’ DEMOGRAPHICS ................................................................................................................. 51 TABLE 2: PROCEDURE DETAILS ................................................................................................................................ 59 TABLE 3: STEPS OF ANALYSIS USING THE CATEGORICAL-CONTENT MODEL ........................................................................ 65
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List of Figures
FIGURE 1: THEMATIC MAP OF THE THREE MAIN CATEGORIES AND SUBCATEGORIES. ............................................................ 76 FIGURE 2: NVIVO SCREENSHOT OF THE SUBCATEGORIES OF THE MAJOR CATEGORY ‘DEVELOPING ACADEMIC AND CLINICAL
PRACTICE EXPERIENCES AS THE FOUNDATION FOR SELF-DEVELOPMENT’ ................................................................... 77 FIGURE 3: NVIVO SCREENSHOT OF THE SUBCATEGORIES OF THE MAJOR CATEGORY ‘THE DOCTORATE’S NEGATIVE AND POSITIVE
IMPACTS ON THE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP’ ...................................................................................................... 85 FIGURE 4: NVIVO SCREENSHOT OF THE SUBCATEGORIES OF THE MAJOR CATEGORY ‘SELF-DEVELOPMENT AND ITS IMPACTS ON THE
ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP’ ............................................................................................................................. 94
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Abstract
According to previous literature, trainees, in general, experience significant self-
development during their training. In particular, individuals entering higher education,
may develop many skills associated with self and experience identity development (Cast
& Burke, 1999), which may impact on their romantic relationships. The present study
investigated trainee and qualified counselling psychologists’ self-development during
their doctoral journey and, specifically, set out to investigate, how romantic relationships
can be impacted by the doctorate training or related self-development. A constructivist-
subjectivist standpoint was chosen, and qualitative semi-structured interviews were
conducted with 4 trainees and 5 qualified counselling psychologists from four UK
universities. The data was analysed according to the categorical-content interpretive
narrative model of Lieblich et al. (1998). Overall, the study found that participants
reported experiencing self-development which enhanced their reflexivity, self-awareness,
personal attributes, values and goals. Elements of the doctoral programme also
influenced participants’ romantic relationships positively and negatively, some in more
direct ways including separation from partners as a direct result of self-development and
the doctoral training. Analysis generated three main categories. Firstly, Developing
academic and clinical practice experiences as the foundation for self-development. The
second category was: The doctorate’s negative and positive impacts on the romantic
relationship. The third category was: Self-development and its impacts on the romantic
relationship. This research enriches existing literature, and it also informs understandings
of the need to create a supportive higher educational culture, to develop support groups
in order to protect students and to promote the experience of a joyful personal
relationship as also relevant to a fruitful doctoral journey. This study, therefore, increases
awareness of issues that occur for professionals to work in clinical settings and also
contributes to the theoretical understandings of love and romance within the higher
education setting, that still maintain an important component of trainees’ experiences.
Related future research could investigate trainees’ potential vicarious trauma during their
clinical practice and its impact on their romantic relationships.
Key Words: counselling psychology, self, identity, love, romantic relationships, change, development, higher education training
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Declaration
No portion of the work referred to in this thesis has been submitted in support of an
application for another degree or qualification of this or any other university or other
institute of learning.
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Copyright Statement
(i) The author of this thesis (including any appendices and/or schedules to this thesis)
owns certain copyright or related rights in it (the "Copyright") and she has given The
University of Manchester certain rights to use such Copyright, including for
administrative purposes.
(ii) Copies of this thesis, either in full or in extracts and whether in hard or electronic
copy, may be made only in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act
1988 (as amended) and regulations issued under it or, where appropriate, in
accordance with licensing agreements which the University has from time to time.
This page must form part of any such copies made.
(iii) The ownership of certain Copyright, patents, designs, trademarks and other
intellectual property (the "Intellectual Property") and any reproductions of copyright
works in the thesis, for example graphs and tables ("Reproductions"), which may be
described in this thesis, may not be owned by the author and may be owned by third
parties. Such Intellectual Property and Reproductions cannot and must not be made
available for use without the prior written permission of the owner(s) of the relevant
Intellectual Property and/or Reproductions.
(iv) Further information on the conditions under which disclosure, publication and
commercialisation of this thesis, the Copyright and any Intellectual Property and/or
Reproductions described in it may take place is available in the University IP Policy
(see http://documents.manchester.ac.uk/DocuInfo.aspx?DocID=2442 0), in any
relevant Thesis restriction declarations deposited in the University Library, The
University Library’s regulations (see
http://www.library.manchester.ac.uk/about/regulations/) and in The University’s
policy on Presentation of Theses.
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Acknowledgements
This project is a result of the support and contributions of the incredible people that I
have been fortunate enough to share experiences with. This study would not have been
completed without their help therefore, I would like to take this opportunity and express
my sincere gratitude to:
The participants who took their time to share their experiences; without your colourful
stories this study would not be possible.
Professor Erica Burman, my first supervisor, for her genuine encouragement throughout
the entire research process and for her moral support which was invaluable.
Dr Terry Hanley as my second supervisor for his help and guidance across the three years
of the course.
My wonderful family for the emotional and financial support. Thank you for continuously
supporting my dream and accompanying me on my journey towards becoming a
counselling psychologist. You are a daily presence in my life, even from 3,525 km away.
Special thanks to my beloved sister, Stella, for her faith, love and belief in me from the
start of my journey.
My beautiful boyfriend, Sotiris, who has moved across the world to help me to pursue my
dream, and has been my rock at each step as we have both endured this journey
together. You have been there for me each step and your faith in me encouraged me to
keep going. Thank you for being always there for me when doubt set in; for calming me
down when anxiety had me bouncing off the walls and for making me laugh. Without you
this thesis would not have been inspired and accomplished.
To my sweet dog, Sifis, for his cute kisses and hugs and his pure endless love.
My friends and peers who supported me from the first moment of my journey in the UK.
My best friend Lina. Thank you for your endless support, encouragement and belief in
me. I would not be able to do this without you. My best friend Amy, whose support
although from a far, was valuable. Thank you for accepting all my calls and for always
being there to support me no matter what.
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This work is dedicated to my grandfather.
Thank you for your ever present love, support and belief in me.
I miss you!
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Chapter 1: Introduction
Overview
In this chapter, I will introduce the research topic, aims and research questions of this
study. I will then present the rationale for this study and I will finally outline the structure
of the thesis as a whole.
This research will aim to gain an understanding into counselling psychology trainees’ self-
development and how their enhanced self-development has impacted or influenced their
romantic relationships. For the purpose of this study, I will use the professional term
“trainee” to refer to students and researchers in postgraduate and doctoral degrees in
higher education.
To indicate a personal connection with this topic, and situate myself, I began to notice
difficulties in my romantic relationship which were linked to the life changes and initial
stressors I was experiencing. Resulting from these adversities, six months into my
doctoral training, I found myself exploring previous research on relationship challenges
during trainees’ doctoral training. There is a growing body of research on how training
affects romantic relationships (Collins, 2008; Farber, 1983; Fiammenghi, 2015; Guy,
1987). While searching previous literature on psychology trainees, I decided to extend my
search strategy and include trainees’ experiences from other higher education degrees
(Masters, PhD, Doctorate) to see if there were any similarities. I was struck by how the
literature suggested many similar training experiences trainees reported after starting a
higher education degree in such diverse fields including counselling, psychotherapy,
psychology, education, anthropology, economics and geography. This literature exposure
advanced my understanding on this topic and led to my decision to explore the gap that
the literature seemed to indicate on romantic relationships and counselling psychology in
particular. More specifically, it seems there is limited previous research which has
explored trainees’ romantic relationships during their doctorate experiences, from a
counselling psychology perspective. This research will bring awareness and new
knowledge of this area to current and potential counselling psychology trainees and the
counselling psychology literature. More specifically, the current study will explore a
variety of concepts, ideas, debates and academic contributions. It is a good arena for this
study, by studying counselling psychologists and these transformations of themselves and
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relationships. This study will draw upon, evaluate and contribute to those discussions and
debates on reflexivity in research literature.
The development of counselling psychology as a profession in the UK began in the late
1970s as an effort to link the scientific psychology with the humanistic values of
counselling and psychotherapy (Orlans & van Scoyoc, 2009). Counselling psychology has
been cited as the third largest division (behind clinical and occupational psychology), and
is the second fastest-growing division (British Psychological Society Division of Counselling
Psychology, 2012). For the purpose of this research, the primary focus will be on UK
counselling psychology training. The two main models accompanying counselling
psychology as a profession are the scientist-practitioner and the reflective practitioner
models (Hanley & Amos, 2017; Martin, 2010). For more information on Counselling
Psychology and the two main models please refer to Appendix A (pg. 197).
I titled my study “Self-development in counselling psychology doctoral training and its
impacts on romantic relationships” and, to facilitate this exploration of a transformative
process, I decided to use Narrative Analysis (Lieblich et al., 1998; Smith et al., 2009) to
explore and make sense different aspects of my participants’ experiences. I interviewed
nine participants -four trainee and five qualified - counselling psychologists, each of
whom claimed to have had a long-term romantic relationship before they entered on
their training, regardless if they stayed in the same relationship or not for the whole
duration of the training. I was able to develop three major categories and nine sub-
categories. Their narratives, or rather my interpretation of them, create the data for
analysis and inform the basis for the discussion. The study concludes with a summary of
the findings and my thoughts for further research. My thoughts, feelings and reflections
will be further discussed in chapter 5, Reflexive Analysis (pg. 109).
Furthermore, according to the findings of previous literature, trainees’ self-development
has become an important additional outcome to higher education training. Nevertheless,
the main focus of the literature to date has been on particular aspects of the training such
as self-care, reflexive practice, personal therapy and stressors that trainees may
experience during their training (Brady‐Amoon & Keefe-Cooperman, 2017; Burnard et al.,
2018; Dodd, 2019; Rønnestad et al., 2016; Zahniser et al., 2017). As it will become
apparent in later chapters, there is extensive literature research on the trainees’ self-
development, due to the high demands of the training, the psychological issues these
challenges may cause, and the methods they use to cope with these difficulties. In the
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literature review chapter, I will explore what the term self-development is taken to
involve as well as the various models of ‘self’ and ‘development’. To further understand
the formation of a link between higher education training and its impact on romantic
relationships, I will provide a theoretical understanding of the phenomenon of love and
its preliminary distinctions, by reviewing ideas such as love being a socially constructed
idea across cultures and different periods of time. Having this basis of love, it will be
clearer to focus on romantic relationships later on and how the trainees’ self-
development and access in higher education may impact the romantic relationships.
Aim and Research Questions
Doctoral education is an established and global research field. Nevertheless, there are still
considerable gaps in what is known about counselling psychology doctoral trainees, as a
particular and perhaps particularly reflexive (and so interesting to research) class of
doctoral students: their experiences, including how the new learning transforms their
sense of themselves and, along with this, their romantic relationships. Therefore, the
present study will aim to investigate trainee and qualified counselling psychologists’ self-
development during their doctoral journey and how their romantic relationships may
have been impacted by the doctorate training or their enhanced self-development.
Furthermore, the present study will aim to explore the models of self, self-development
and also relationships and the role that romantic relationships (have come to) take in
understandings of self. This research will also aim to inform counselling psychologists and
potential future trainees on the difficulties they may experience during the doctorate and
bring awareness of the possibility that it may affect their romantic relationships. Taking
this into consideration, this study will be guided by the following research questions:
1. What narratives of self-development do trainees report accompanying their
counselling psychology training?
2. What are the narrators’ experiences of their doctoral training in terms of its
impacts on their romantic relationship?
3. How do narrators present their self-development and how this may have
influenced their romantic relationship?
The aim of the first question is to identify the self-development trainees report they may
have experienced. The second question aims to investigate how the doctorate’s training
and practical elements may have potentially impacted on their romantic relationships.
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The third question is to explore how they narrate how their self-development may have
influenced their romantic relationships.
The current research study will contribute to the knowledge of counselling psychologists
in regard to their self-development and their romantic relationships, and any further
related issues which may arise. In addition, it will increase the awareness to support the
education of qualified counselling psychologists or the potential trainees who are
planning to undertake this doctoral training. Furthermore, this study will contribute to
the knowledge about constructions of self and self-development as they are mediated by
professional and/or higher education training experiences. It will also contribute to
discussions on impacts of advanced educational and professional development more
generally, since counselling psychologists in training may be a particularly useful group of
trainees to study– since they are supposed to be highly reflexive – to inform such
understanding. Further explanations on the contribution to knowledge will be provided in
chapter 7, Implications, Limitations and Conclusion (pg. 140).
The current study also hopes to offer, not only to counselling psychology trainees but also
to other higher education trainees, a set of accounts that indicate how a key group of
practitioner-researchers reflect on their training experiences including work habits, study
challenges, self-development and on the relationships between academic work and other
aspects of their lives including their romantic relationships. I am mindful that a significant
segment of the audience for this study may be counselling psychologists in the UK. While
the broad nature of this research will give the readers some grounds to anticipate a
broadly similar vision in other higher education degrees, whether in psychology or
beyond and in the UK or internationally. I do not assume that the findings neatly
generalise to other contexts. This is because the doctoral experience “always take the
form of local particularities that reflect national systems, institutional practices, students’
personal backgrounds, interests and approaches to work. Issues relating to national,
cultural and religious diversity add further complexity and richness to the picture in any
location” (Hopwood et al., 2011, p. 214). The strength of qualitative research is its
richness and fruitfulness which produces historically and culturally situated knowledge
that may not arise in larger scale studies (Tracy, 2010). Even though the current
qualitative study will be unable to statistically generalise its findings, the knowledge that
will be generated through its qualitative methods may still be transferable and useful in
other settings, populations or circumstances. Therefore, I would prompt the readers to
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acknowledge the specificity of this study’s findings and reflect on the participants in
relation to their own context (national, cultural, institutional, personal, etc), and if this is
not possible then on what are the differences between those contexts.
This study will be conducted with trainees and qualified counselling psychologists from
the professional doctorate in counselling psychology. Existing research has demonstrated
that trainees’ experiences vary greatly across disciplines and contrasts are often drawn
between “laboratory-based sciences and the other less structured, more individualised
work in social sciences and humanities” (Hopwood et al., 2011, p. 215). However, it may
still be valuable for readers studying or working in any field of research to reflect on the
role of personal and relationship experiences in higher education and how they may be
affected from their discipline of research.
Rationale
The rationale for the present study is that, as counselling psychologist trainees experience
significant self-development during their doctoral training, it is worthwhile to explore
how their self-development may influence or have an impact on their romantic
relationships. It is important to provide an in-depth understanding of the way the
counselling psychology doctorate may affect the romantic relationships of trainees to
prepare future students for what might lie ahead. For example, trainees may experience
significant self-development throughout their doctoral journey and these changes may
affect the dynamics of their romantic relationships (Polson & Nida, 1998). It is noteworthy
to mention that my focus on long-term (presumed) monogamous romantic relationships
should not interpreted as privileging these or judging other kinds of relationships as
inferior, but rather that these are the kind of relationships that impact most on, are
impacted most by, a trainee’s engagement with the doctorate.
Structure of the Thesis
This thesis includes seven chapters. Chapter 1 – Introduction: Introduces the current
study, aims and research questions, counselling psychology discipline, rationale, and
structure of the thesis.
Chapter 2 – Literature Review: This will review the relevant philosophical, theoretical and
empirical research literature in the following key areas: 1) self, identity and self-
development, 2) love, its preliminary distinctions and romantic relationships, 3) self-
development in higher education and its impacts on romantic relationships. This
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literature review will approach self-development as relevant to counselling psychology
trainees’ experiences. This will include critical evaluation of models of self and identity
theories. In addition, the previous existing literature relating to the aforementioned key
areas connected with the research questions and the aims of the study will also be
discussed.
Chapter 3- Methodology: This will present the methodological approach and methods
used in this study. It will also provide an analysis of my philosophical position including
the ontology and epistemology. It will also present the research method, research design,
the participant recruitment process (the study’s data collection and its procedure), data
analysis and a brief description of the participants who took part in this study. Finally, the
evaluation of methodology, ethical considerations and my reflections for this chapter will
also be explored.
Chapter 4 – Analysis: This will present the analysis of the participants’ narratives including
the main categories and subcategories with the participants’ excerpts throughout the
chapter. In addition, a reflective space will be provided in which I share my thoughts and
feelings on analysing the participants’ narratives.
Chapter 5 – Reflexive Analysis: This will present literature on reflexive analysis and will
draw on this to discuss my personal experiences and reflections during the doctoral
journey. In addition, I will further include my reflections about the choice of this topic, my
research process decisions and the challenges of conducting this study. This chapter will
also include my personal reflection of the influence of the counselling psychology
doctorate on my romantic relationship.
Chapter 6 – Discussion: This will present a summary of the study analysis and findings
linked with previous existing literature to answer the three research questions, which aim
to inform understandings of trainees and qualified counselling psychologists’ self-
development and its impacts on their romantic relationship. In addition, this chapter will
aim to make links with existing literature and theories that were covered in the literature
review chapter. My reflections regarding this chapter will also be presented.
Finally, the Chapter 7 – Implications, Limitations and Conclusion: This chapter will present
the study’s contribution to knowledge, clinical implications, limitations, future research
and the main conclusions of this research.
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Chapter Summary
In this chapter I have introduced the study’s topic, aims and research questions which will
aim to generate and contribute to understanding of counselling psychology trainees’ self-
development and how their enhanced self-development has impacted or influenced their
romantic relationships. In addition, I introduced the rationale of this study and finally, I
have outlined the structure of the thesis.
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Chapter 2: Literature Review
Overview
The aim of this literature review is to situate this study in relation to previous research on
the impacts of higher education and self-development on romantic relationships. Firstly, I
will provide a review on the theory of Self, Identity and Self-development in order to
establish the theoretical basis of this thesis and to signify how these concepts are
implicated in the area of higher education training. To further understand the formation
of a link between higher education training and its impact on romantic relationships, I will
provide a theoretical understanding of the phenomenon of love and its preliminary
distinctions, by reviewing ideas such as love being a socially constructed idea across
cultures and different periods of time. This description will provide a foundation to
further explore empirical research studies relevant to trainees’ training experiences in
higher education, during their doctoral programme, and the impact training may have on
their romantic relationships. These studies shall provide an essential foundation to the
research questions of this study as they are relevant but may also demonstrate the lack of
qualitative studies on this topic. For the purpose of this study, previous scholarship was
accessed and critically evaluated employing search terms that focused on terms of
relationship, change, self, love, development, identity and higher education training. For
more details on the study’s search strategy, please refer to Appendix B (pg. 201).
Self, Identity and Self-development
In this section the idea of self, identity and self-development will be discussed in detail, to
further explain how the self and identity are shaped and developed, and in what way
changes in people’s lives may influence the process of self-development and identity
transformation. This explanation will provide the basis for the rationale of this thesis that
education may impact the trainees’ self, a process which may have an effect on their
romantic relationships, as their identity goes through changes and develops.
Self
Self and identity are two of the most important concepts in social psychology. Their first
appearance, as concepts for exploration in sociology and psychology, traces back to
William James’s (1890) discussion, followed by early research from sociologists (Cooley,
1902; Thomas & Znaniecki, 1918) and philosophers (Mead, 1934). Sociology’s
19
methodological empirical work on self and identity flourished after the World War II
renaissance (Martindale, 1981) and psychology’s cognitive revolution in the 1950s
(Gardner, 1985). Self and identity have much in common as both are typically discussed
as complementary terms. Their common characteristics sometimes may cause inaccuracy
and confusion, especially in the ways they are distinct (Owens, 2003). Therefore, I shall
attempt to differentiate and then define self and identity. William James (1890, p. 330)
warned researchers and philosophers over a century ago that “selfhood including
identity, is the most puzzling puzzle with which psychology has to deal”. Gordon Allport
further raises this issue by saying:
This puzzling problem arises when we ask, “Who is the I that knows the
bodily me, who has an image of myself and a sense of identity over time,
who knows that I have propriate strivings?” I know all these things, and
what is more, I know that I know them. But who is it who has this
perspective grasp? … it is much easier to feel the self than to define the
self (Allport, 1961, cited in Kihlstorm, Beer & Klein, 2003, p. 2).
The self in psychological science is an umbrella term encompassing a variety of constructs
such as identity, self-concept, self-awareness, self-recognition, agency, self-esteem, the
social self and self-enhancement (Leary & Tangney, 2003; Sedikides & Spencer, 2007). The
main quality that helps researchers to distinguish self from identity is that “the self is a
process and organisation born of self-reflection whereas identity is a tool (or in some
cases perhaps a stratagem) by which individuals or groups categorise themselves and
present themselves to the world” (Owens, 2003, p. 206). In other words, the self is an
organised and interactive system consisting of thoughts, feelings, identities, and motives
(Owens, 2003). The self has also been conceptualised as a set of cognitive representations
that are organised by linkages from personal experiences and they reflect in an
individual’s personality traits (Thoits, 1995). Therefore, individuals have the ability to
formulate and reflect on themselves from an objective stance and they are able to take
account of themselves, evaluate their actions and plan accordingly for their future moves,
and achieve greater consciousness with respect to their own existence (James 1890;
Mead, 1934).
An alternative view of self was put forward by Michel Foucault who suggests that the
“focus of the self is not the history of the person but the genealogy of the relations that
human beings have established with themselves - in which they have come to relate to
20
themselves as selves” (Foucault, 1985, p. 11), such that these selves are addressed from
the perspective of ‘government’ (Burchell et al., 1991). What Foucault means with this
idea is that people’s relation with themselves is based on a whole variety of rationalised
schemes (Rose, 1996). These schemes inform how people come to understand and
accomplish their existence as human beings in the name of certain societally regulated
norms or objectives (whether external or internal in origin) such as civility, discipline,
manliness, femininity, fulfilment, pleasure and so on (Rose, 1996). This creates the
conditions for the emergence of forms of reflexivity which allows individuals to explore
themselves from an external point of view just as other individuals might view them
through alternative degrees of detachment (Mead, 1934). Applying this to the context of
the present study, trainees entering higher education are more likely to become more
reflective as a consequence of their engagement with different models and approaches.
They may also develop their concept/view of who they are. Self-concept is a set of
meanings people hold for themselves. They are based on their observations, thoughts,
feelings, imaginations for who they are, how others act towards them, their wishes,
desires and evaluations of themselves (Franks & Marolla, 1976; Rosenberg, 1979; Stryker,
1980).
Identity
Identity is typically discussed as subsumed within the broader concept of self. The Oxford
English Dictionary (1999) proposes that the term “identity” came from the Latin idem
(same) and identidem (over and over again, repeatedly) meaning “side-by-side with those
of ‘likeness’ and ‘oneness’”. In contemporary social psychology, the concept of identity is
also related to relatedness (Michener & DeLamater, 1999). In this sense, identity includes
“both a distinctiveness (I am not like them or a “not-me”) and a sameness as others (I am
like them or a ‘me-too’)” (Burke & Tully, 1977; James, 1890; Owens, 2003). This is the part
where conceptions of identity enter into the overall self. The overall self is portrayed in
social psychology as multiple parts (identities), and each one of them is connected to
aspects of the social structure. A person’s identity is an “internalised positional
designation” (Stryker, 1980, p. 60), meaning that an individual holds different positions or
role relationships in society. In other words, a self as a mother is an identity, as is self as a
partner, self as friend, self as a therapist and so on. Similarly, Rose (1998) has named
these roles as the genealogy of subjectification which focuses directly on the practices of
each individual. The genealogy of subjectification does not include a continuous history of
21
the self, but rather “accounts for the diversity of languages of ‘personhood’ that have
taken shape” such as one’s character, personality, identity, reputation, client, mother,
son, normal, lunatic, but also the norms, techniques and relations of authority within
which these roles have been distributed in legal, domestic, industrial and other practices
that define one’s self” (Rose, 1998, p. 25). It is worth noting that Rose draws on
Foucault’s idea of genealogy of subjectification and his discussion is very helpful to better
understand individuals’ identities and their practices.
Contemporary social psychology has typically discussed identity as comprising three
types- personal, social and collective. Personal identities are connected to individuals’
traits, unique identifiers, personality characteristics and are incorporated by them (Côté
& Levine, 2002; Jasper, 1997; Subramaniam, 2001). Social identities aim to connect with
groups, while collective identities aim to connect with demographic categories (Jasper,
1997; Owens & Aronson, 2000; Stryker et al., 2000). The interactions that individuals have
with each other are not between whole persons, but between aspects of persons
depending on their roles and memberships in particular groups, their identities (Stryker,
2007). However, people are understood to move in and out of these modalities very
easily, with very little thought and they can operate in two or more identities at a time, as
in being both a friend and a classmate (Stryker et al., 2000). Like most psychological
structures, identities are seen as influenced from the social environment people live
(Swann & Bosson, 2010). More specifically, Western cultures are understood to promote
identity stability and consistency over time and across settings (Conley, 1985; Costa &
McCrae, 1988; English & Chen, 2007). There has been a substantial psychological
literature that has suggested that East Asian culture emphasises more relationships,
connectedness and belonging (Swann & Bosson, 2010). As a result, East Asians have been
noted to tend to adapt their identities to the expectations and preferences of their
partner and show lower cross-situational stability in their self-descriptions (Kanagawa et
al., 2001; Suh, 2002). In addition, East Asians in an attempt to describe themselves to
others, they incline to endorse opposite self-views and contradictory statements about
themselves (Choi & Choi, 2002; Cousins, 1989; Spencer-Rodgers et al., 2004). Although
this research may oversimplify some questions of culture and nation, it is worth noting
this here, as cultural issues are clearly important. In fact, in this study all participants
happened to be white with European and/or UK background nationalities.
22
Previous research suggests that having multiple identities is more beneficial than harmful
as it gives people’s lives meaning and provides guides to behaviour (Linville, 1985, 1987;
Thoits, 1983, 1986). Nevertheless, multiple identities can be very problematic and could
damage the one’s self or personal relationships. For example, if an individual experiences
identity conflicts in stressful or difficult situations, then they may choose the identity
which is most important to them and are most committed to (Colbeck, 2008). However,
on some occasions, the individual may struggle to choose which identity to prioritise and
this may cause distress (Burke, 1991; Colbeck, 2008; Stryker & Burke, 2000). According to
the above review on identity, it may be concluded that trainees will develop new
identities during their training, such as the researcher, practitioner and student identities,
while at the same time existing identities in their personal and social life, such as the
identity of a partner, parent or friend continue to exist. This sets a more complex and
multifaceted combination of identities implicated in the self and its development.
Evidently, when trainees enter higher education, they may experience changes in their
existing identities or develop new ones. More specifically, Rose (1996, p. 31) suggests that
when somebody goes through “transformation ‘mentalities’ or what one might term
‘intellectual techniques’ – reading, memory, writing, numeracy, and so forth” this may
have an important impact on the self and its development. It has been argued that
multiple identities may cause distress to the trainee as they may feel confused to which
identity they need to commit to and feel guilty towards the identities they do not focus
on (Colbeck, 2008). It may also have a negative consequence to trainees’ romantic
relationships as the couple may have problems verifying their mutual identities and any
possible changes, resulting in break up or divorce (Cast & Burke, 2002). For some
researchers this is because individuals store information about their relationship partners
in the form of relational schemas, or mental models that may consist stories that explain
typical interaction patterns and representations of the self (Baldwin, 1992). When these
representations change or get disrupted, it may have a negative impact on the romantic
relationships.
Selves creating stories creating selves
In this study I try to explore, through the participants’ personal narratives, how they
construct their experiences to describe their self-development throughout their doctoral
journey, how they define a romantic relationship and if there were any influences and
changes in their own romantic relationship. Rukeyser (1968), suggests that humans are
23
made up of, engage in and are surrounded by stories. McLean, Pasupathi and Pals (2007)
have created the term situated stories to emphasise that individuals create personal
memories for specific situations, particular audiences and to accomplish certain goals.
These situated stories may express the self-development an individual experiences on
particular situations or across their overall life.
In terms of the stories, previous studies have documented that people use more positive
than negative stories for entertaining and connecting with audiences (McLean & Thorne,
2006; Pasupathi, 2006). This is because the teller feels more susceptible to disclose
personal and negative stories which may burden the listener. As a result, they create
stories to please their listeners while they create a certain kind of self in that moment
that may have a lasting impact on the self (Pasupathi et al., 2008). The personal stories
include autobiographical memories from the past consistent with their self-conceptions
and identities they hold at that time (Conway et al., 2004; Sanitioso et al., 1990).
Therefore, of course this study cannot be generalised without careful interpretation to
wider populations, but attempts to offer insights arising from the richness, complexity
and specificity of the materials and participants’ accounts or narratives of their
experiences of completing their doctoral journey. The strength of qualitative research is
its richness and fruitfulness, and it may also produce historically and culturally situated
knowledge that may not arise in larger scale studies (Tracy, 2010). As a result, this
knowledge cannot be generalised in the sense of directly predicting future practices. Even
though the current qualitative study has no aim to statistically generalise its findings, the
knowledge generated through its qualitative methods may still be transferable and useful
in other settings, populations or circumstances in this area of interest.
In the next section, I will attempt to provide an overview of the idea of love and its
debates regarding romantic relationships. Furthermore, I will also attempt to provide an
explanation of the preliminary distinctions of love and portray, across cultures and time,
how love is conceptualised. I believe it is important to introduce love, its preliminary
distinctions and ideas before discussing romantic relationships. As I believe it will provide
the readers an understanding of what is love and how it can transform and/or change
over time, progressing to how love develops romantic relationships. Having established
this foundation of love, it is then logical to focus on romantic relationships and how the
trainees’ self-development and access in higher education may impact on romantic
relationships.
24
Love and Romantic Relationships
“I … profess to understand nothing but matters of love.”
Socrates in Plato’s Symposium.
Love and its preliminary distinctions
While I was reading about trainees’ romantic relationships, I found it essential to explore
the term love, its roots, history and cultural difference as this would help me to address a
conceptual set of debates or questions at play in the participants’ narratives of this study.
Previous philosophical analyses have been focused on questions such as “what is love”?
Can love be justified, and, if yes, how? What is its value and what is its impact on the
autonomy of both lover and the beloved? (Helm, 2017). These questions generate a host
of issues as ‘love’ is an abstract noun whose interpretation differs from case to case. For
some people “it is a word unattached to anything or sensible, and for other people, it is a
means by which our being - our self and its world - are irrevocably affected once we are
touched by love” (Moseley, 2020, para. 1). In English, the word ‘love’ originated from
Germanic forms of the Sanskrit ‘lubh’ (desire), and it is extensively characterised and
consequently imprecise (Moseley, 2020). As a result, this definition stimulates a variety of
criticisms about its meaning, which I will attempt to explore, at least initially by referring
to the Greek ancient philosophers who have traditionally distinguished three notions that
comprise what is usually called “love”: eros, philia and agape.
The term eros (from the Greek erasthai) is used to refer to the passionate desire for
something, typically sexual passion, thus the modern concept of “erotic” (Greek erotikos)
(Liddell et al., 1940). In contrast to the passionate desire of eros, philia refers to a
fondness or friendly feeling towards not only on friendships but also towards family
members, business partners, community members etc. (Cooper, 1977; Liddell et al.,
1940). Agape primarily refers to the Christian tradition and the paternal love of God for
all people, along with the love people have for God. Agape also extents to the love people
have for each other – a kind of brotherly love (Soble, 1990). For more details and further
elaboration on these three notions, please see Appendix C (pg. 202).
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Romantic Love
After reading about the distinctions among eros, philia and agape, it would appear what
we have come to understand as Romantic Love includes characteristics of the former
features. Previous literature has also considered individuals that are romantically
attached without ever declaring their love and their deep and strong romantic affection
to the beloved, or situations where the beloved may consciously reject it (Berne, 1970).
This romance is called unrequited love. This interesting conception translates into some of
the discussions about celebrity fans, phantom and romantic attachments to ideals and
other various kinds. The notion of modern romantic love initially derived from Aristotle
who explained that people want to love and be loved for who they are in the flesh and
that their focus is toward a real person and not toward an ideal (Sternberg, 1998).
Aristotle also explained that once people form their ‘special love’ each becomes “each
other’s virtues-one soul and two bodies, as he poetically puts it” (Moseley, 2020, para.
22). He then continued saying that “romantic relationships promote self-knowledge as
the beloved one acts as a kind of mirror and reflects back to the person’s character”
(Badhwar, 2003, p. 58). In other words, people in a romantic relationship have similar
aspects and, by observing each other, they may know themselves better in a more
objective way. However, there are critiques of the value of seeking out the mirroring of
one’s self in the beloved one. Brink (1999) and Whiting (2013) argue that people, in order
to understand and improve themselves, also need an independent voice and interact with
others who can help them recognise alternative potentials of themselves. Therefore,
instead of reflecting on similarities with each other, a couple may offer interpretations to
one another through implicit and explicit reflections. This is what Badhwar calls the
“epistemic significance” of love (2003, p. 58). As romantic love is considered to have a
higher metaphysical, ethical and aesthetical status than just sexual or physical
attractiveness (Moseley, 2020) and further to the literature review, for the purposes of
this study when I refer to ‘trainees’ relationships’ I shall use the phrase “romantic
relationships”. However, I try to keep an open mind on the expressions used in the
participants’ narratives and I shall acknowledge any other term they may use.
Relationships
After defining what understanding of love I shall use in this study, I now need to define
the concept of “relationship” which was one of the significant challenges for early
researchers and philosophers in the field (Regan, 2011). A variety of disciplines including
26
clinical, social and counselling psychology, sociology, anthropology and social work have
explored and advanced conceptions of the term “relationship”. Over time, these
disciplines have agreed that the basic component of a relationship is interaction (Hinde,
1995; Laursen & Bukowski, 1997; Regan, 2011). Hinde (1995) in particular, proposed that
a relationship is structured through a sequence of real or imagined interactions that
people form with each other. Reis and Shaver (1988) added to this that individuals create
relationships through a shared history and imagined future. Therefore, relationships
happen over time and people’s prior social interactions and expectations form the
present interactions which also consist of emotions, attributions, wishes, conflict,
disappointment and so on. Although there are many kinds of relationships, this study
primarily focuses on the romantic relationships with a periodic attention to other types of
relationships, such as family and friendships.
Love as a socially constructed idea and love across cultures and time periods
Although this study focuses on Universities in the UK, it is not limited to participants with
a British cultural background. This study is relevant to briefly explore love across cultures,
as well as across time as it will help to understand participants’ romantic relationships
from different cultural backgrounds. Conceptions of love are important as they help us to
understand how each culture and society defines what is appropriate and desirable in
human relations. Not only the society, but the person involved may place constraints on
who is considered a suitable receiver of the person’s love (Hong, 1986). Historically, for
example in the 1980s, gender differences have been noticed in the love literature which
may in part be due to the economic differences, men and women experience (Sprecher &
Metts, 1989). However, today things have to some extent changed, and gender
differences in terms of pay or access to professions are less than they used to be, in
relation to women’s economic positions (Philbrick, 1987). Women in large numbers have
entered into education and the paid labour force, leading to more economic
independence and this may have led to a different approach, as women may choose a
partner that they love, rather than for example implicit or explicit financial motives or
cultural pressures in their choice of a partner (Ries et al., 1992).
Having discussed about Greek history and love, it worth noting that Aristotle’s view of
love and self-knowledge was very similar to recent research, which similarly supported
that love is often viewed as a means for self-discovery and reflection towards oneself
(Swidler, 1980). However, this view was not always particularly acceptable. At the
27
beginning of the 7th century people could freely talk about their sexual practices and
there was no secrecy to what they could say about sex or do (Foucault, 1978). Then,
during the Enlightenment period (1715-1789), people understood love as a rational and
orderly experience that could be controlled by those who experienced it (Saiedi, 1993).
These dominant ideas were viewed as rational, and seemed to inspire the Enlightenment
conception of love (Winks, 1988). In the 18th century, during the age of romanticism (also
known as Romantic era), people from the artistic, literally, musical and intellectual fields
in different parts of Europe, believed that love is uncontrollable and that men and women
fall in love without reason because it is part of their senses (Kant, 1949). However, in
other parts of the world such as Victorian England, sex became a political, economic and
technical discourse in the form of research analysis of quantitative studies (Foucault,
1978). Sexuality was considered acceptable to discuss only in the context of reproduction
(in marriage). What Foucault brings to this discussion is that while sex was officially
supposed to be all about reproduction but the more the Victorians tried to prohibit the
talk about sex, their own prohibition talk actually produced more of it.
Sexuality, “not only did it not exist, it had no right to exist and would be made to
disappear upon its least manifestation - whether in acts or words” (Foucault, 1978, p. 4).
Since the 18th century, people started a series of tensions and conflicts to gain the right to
publicly talk about sex and act sexually in the way they wanted. Up to the end of 19th
century, the only people who had the right to talk publicly about sex as a basic need was
married (and so heterosexual) couples (Custer, 2014). In particular, Foucault (1978, p. 37-
38) explained that “the marriage relation was the most intense focus of constraints; it
was spoken more than anything else, … breaking the rules of marriage or seeking strange
pleasures brought an equal measure of condemnation”. There is no doubt that this
repression may have damaged, and certainly shaped, people’s free will and speech about
love and sexuality. From the 19th to early 20th centuries, there was clearly more political
mobilisation around the issues of love and sex, and there was more freedom in Western
societies in terms of heterosexual romantic relationships and marriages (Sternberg,
1998). However, in terms of homosexual relationships, couples struggled in England until
1960s when the government decriminalised and created the Sexual Offenses Act 1967
between consenting male adults (Foucault, 1978). There are lots of discussions in the
lesbian and feminist literature and constructions of sexuality which explores the
ambiguity of women to women romantic relationships precisely because there was an
explicit prohibition against women having sex with women (Foucault, 1978; Greene &
28
Kahn, 2020; Zimmerman, 1981). This chronological timeline demonstrates how many
transitions are related to the notions of love and relationships and that, even today,
societies and cultural beliefs may encourage or discourage the experience and display of
love (Sternberg, 1998). Although this research’s focus is not primarily about sex, it does
not exclude any views, beliefs and experiences that may arise in the participants’
narratives and how sex may be implicated.
This brief discussion of about love, its distinctions and how it has been influenced across
the years and across cultures, highlights how romantic relationships might influence the
person, whether as lover or the beloved one, in different ways. Although there is a big
literature on polyamorous romantic relationships (Bali, 2020; Conley & Moors, 2014;
Mitchell et al., 2014; Morrison et al., 2013), my focus here is on long-term romantic
relationships including heterosexual and homosexual, in a context where those romantic
relationships are enacted within monogamous relationships.
Further literature in regard to trainees’ transformation through higher education as well
as the impacts of higher education and self-development on romantic relationships, is
also considered in the next section.
Self-development in Higher Education
This section reviews previous literature and empirical research on trainees’ self-
development while entering graduate higher education (Masters, PhD, Professional
Doctorates) in related fields such as counselling, psychotherapy, psychology, education,
anthropology and economics and so forth. Aristotle describes people’s existence based
on their activity. He explains that people love the actions they perform as they are an
expression of who they truly are and what they can do (Homiak, 1981). These activities
actualise people’s potential and help them to plan their lives in the most pleasant and
lovable way, thus “a true lover of self is first of all a rational planner” (Homiak, 1981, p.
638). Planning may happen on a large or a small scale. For example, large scale planning
may be entering higher education or following a particular profession. Before I describe
the changes trainees experience, I would like to start with Plato’s ancient puzzle of
Theseus’s ship which is often used as an analogy in discussions for self, identity and
possible changes.
Theseus, an Athenian warrior, once travelled to Crete, where he was in a battle with
Minotaur whom he defeated. He then rescued some Athenian captives and returned to
29
Athens. The Athenians wanted to honour his conquest and they preserved his ship and
sailed it once a year on parade. Through the years, the ship began leaking and the planks
were gradually removed and replaced with new ones. Eventually none of the original
planks remained.
The philosophical question of interest is whether the ship maintains its identity, even
though of its original planks are gone. Although there is no right or wrong answer to this,
the self may be considered in the same way. Self and identity may be dynamically
constructed and continue to function, therefore feeling the same, even though if its
content changes dramatically (Oyserman et al., 2012). As a result, a feeling of stability
may develop whether individuals have a motivation to perceive the self as stable or not.
Similarly, trainees when entering higher education courses may experience a
developmental shift or a change in worldview (Stevens-Long et al., 2012). Trainees may
also experience identity transitions through a transformative learning process in their
doctoral journey that may alter them in ways that both they and others can recognise
(Clark, 1993; Harrison, 2008; Jazvac-Martek, 2009; Wright et al., 2009; Zipp et al., 2009).
More specifically, doctoral students have been documented as experiencing a number of
identity transitions and overall self-development during their course including becoming a
doctoral student, then a doctoral candidate, following by an emerging scholar and finally
in some cases becoming a faculty member (Austin, 2002; Austin & McDaniels, 2006;
Baker & Pifer, 2011; McAlpine & Amundsen, 2009) or a practitioner.
Culture and identity are interlinked, and to be more specific, academia represents a
variety of intersecting cultures (Holley, 2011). For example, trainees may need to relocate
to a new environment (change of a city or accommodation), when entering higher
education, and this new environment may encourage identity change because they lack
the previous environmental structures which supported and sustained the original
identity (Ethier & Deaux, 1994; McCall & Simmons, 1966). Furthermore, in order for the
trainees to thrive within academic and doctoral culture, they may have to negotiate their
current identities within their academic contexts. More specifically, they have to learn the
rules that governing behaviours of the academic institution, and also adapt to their
supervisor’s views and perspectives (Baker & Lattuca, 2010; Foot et al., 2014).
Gender and class are also aligned with the counselling psychology. Previous
psychologists/educationalists have conducted explicit research on the ambivalence of
class transition through education and gendered identities. It is difficult to engage with
30
issues of class and education without raising notions of social mobility (or lack of it).
Previous literature has focused on working-class women’s transitions between
educational sectors including progressing from primary to secondary education (O’Brien,
2003) or from secondary to higher education (Reay, 2003). These researchers seem to
address issues on how easily men could enter higher education in the past years and
implications associated with how femininity changes across different institutional
environments. Furthermore, Walkerdine et al. (2001) in their book, Growing up Girl,
propose that women and feminists – both in academia or not – adapt a mode of
survival/resistance and there is a sense that immobility is not an option they can choose
and this immobility perhaps evokes a fear of ‘falling back’ and ‘sinking’. Yet, as Valerie
Walkerdine notes in her contribution to the debates, “the exploitation and oppression
which class politics signals, though changed, has not ceased and no other political
discourse has emerged to explain or mobilise around these issues, that is, the issue of
inequalities associated with social and economic difference” (quoted in Archer &
Leathwood, 2003, p. 228). What is be evident from these issues is the complexity of those
ongoing negotiations of classed/’raced’ femininities throughout schools, colleges,
universities and labour market.
There is also a wide literature on women who are the first person in the family studying in
higher education and how they feel they have been cut off from their communities of
origin (Lucey et al., 2003; O’Brien, 2003; Reay, 2003; Walkerdine et al., 2001). More
specifically, Lucey et al. (2003) have been drawn their attention to the centrality of the
family and its emotional dynamics in the sense of working-class women feeling distant
and treated differently by their families due to educational success. Similarly, O’Brien
(2003) and Reay (2003) in their research have considered women’s resistance to
individualistic discourses of identity and how working-class women who do manage to
enter higher education are unlikely to enjoy an easy ride. These issues raise important
questions for all feminist academics regardless of their class and ethnic backgrounds on
“how do we negotiate ‘being powerful’ and what kind of feminist ethic of care might we
practice to help support our diverse sisterhood and challenge the ongoing mechanisms of
exclusion?” (Archer & Leathwood, 2003, p. 233). This literature is particularly relevant
since seven of my nine participants self-identified as women.
31
The impacts of transformation on the trainee through higher education
There is a wide range of literature that has looked at the impact of higher education on
self-development during the training journey of graduate students. Therefore, I widened
my search to include transformative experiences and issues from other important areas
and fields as well as counselling and psychology. A study which was conducted in the UK
and North America recruited 83 doctoral students within social sciences (anthropology,
economics, education, geography, environmental studies, management, sociology and
social policy) from 13 universities across UK, USA and Canada (Hopwood et al., 2011). The
participants were documented as experiencing emotional difficulties due to stress,
anxiety, anger, frustration, sadness, boredom and loneliness and also noted lack of time.
They also mentioned that they did not utilise supervision as a space in which they could
express or discuss their emotional difficulties and most of the time they had to sacrifice
other commitments including sleep, exercise and family time in order to cope with the
enormous amount of academic work. However, Scott et al. (2004) argued on the basis of
their study that doctoral experiences are hard to generalise as what a doctorate means to
any particular trainee at any particular time depends where they are regarding on their
career trajectory, on the identities they prefer to adopt and endorse during the doctoral
programme, and upon the importance of their relationships, beliefs and values in their
lives.
A recent qualitative study in the UK recruited 18 trainees to explore the impact of the
Doctorate in Education (EdD) in trainees’ personal and professional lives (Hramiak, 2017).
The findings suggested that the trainees had experienced a significant impact on their
personal lives after entering the doctorate. In particular, trainees reported a greater
empathy towards themselves for becoming doctoral students and they felt that they had
a deeper understanding and empathy with their own students. This transition also made
them “think more about learner identity and reconsider the experiences of their own
students” (Hramiak, 2017, p. 33). The findings of Hramiak’s study also indicated that while
the students saw the doctorate as a necessary qualification for further development in
their careers, they did not want to be identified as researchers alone. This finding
supports the work of previous researchers who proposed that trainees acquired the
identity of the researcher for a temporary period of time and for the duration of their EdD
(Light et al., 2009). This may indicate that students while they are undertaking a higher
education degree, in terms of their self-identity as researchers, they do not actually
32
change their personal beliefs and behaviours (Golde & Walker, 2006; Hramiak, 2017).
These studies seem to indicate that individuals choose to enter professional doctorates in
order to become professional practitioners and not necessarily with a view to taking up
academic positions such as senior lecturers or professors. In that sense, the idea about
trainees not wanting to be only identified as researchers is even more relevant.
In terms of the training journey of a therapist/psychologist, a small body of literature has
looked at the impact of higher education on self-development. More specifically, in the
fields of counselling and psychology, previous research has explored the personal and
professional development of counsellors (Connor, 1994; Mezirow, 2000; Skovholt &
Jennings, 2004). In particular trainees in counselling develop a variety of skills (self-
reflection, self-awareness) that they use in their personal and professional life
(MacKenzie & Hamilton, 2007; Pascual-Leone et al., 2012, 2013). Unlike other higher
education professional trainings (Masters, PhD) in other fields, professional doctorates in
psychology (whether clinical and counselling) place significant emphasis on trainees’
development of personal and relational qualities (Hackland, 2015; Kottler & Swartz,
2004). More specifically, trainees undergo an intense developmental journey that
explicitly topicalises emotion, cognition and behaviour, resulting in profound shifts in the
trainees’ sense of self and identity (Guy, 1987; Kottler & Swartz, 2004; Mearns, 1997).
These transformative practices and internal changes may impact on all areas of trainees’
lives including their way of thinking, behaviours and their relationships (Alhanati, 2009;
Blokland, 1993; Hall, 2004; Nabal, 2009). For instance, in this transformative learning
experience, trainees may start questioning their perspectives, assumptions, beliefs and
feelings as a result to develop personally and intellectually (Herod, 2002; Hughes, 2009;
Stevens-Long et al., 2012; Taylor, 2008). During this transition, trainees may experience
internal changes that are difficult to be aware of and explain to others (Guy, 1987).
Students during the intense training may also intellectually communicate with other
professionals which may lead to meaningful development, potential shifts in religious
beliefs, political views and personal attitudes (Folkes-Skinner et al., 2010; Guy, 1987;
Norcross & VandenBos, 2018). Similarly, previous studies have suggested that trainees,
after entering the training, started over-analysing theirs and others’ motives leading to a
decreased spontaneity (Farber, 1983; Fiammenghi, 2015). Guy (1987) also proposes that
trainees may deny their own feelings and experiences resulting in a kind of separation
from their own feelings (Freudenberger & Robbins, 1979).
33
A further development reported by trainees during a higher education programme is
their greater awareness of own internal processes, their confidence with themselves,
their reflective ability of own feelings as well as their sense of wholeness and authenticity
(Alhanati, 2009; Alred, 2011; Fiammenghi, 2015). As previously discussed, during
counselling or psychology training trainees may report developing, or at least have to
present themselves as developing, self-awareness and self-reflection (Pieterse et al.,
2013) and also develop a greater self-ideal congruence, a reorganisation of self-concept,
both fostering healthy functioning and good social adjustment (Folkes-Skinner et al.,
2010). Furthermore, developing a better understanding of the inner self and others may
also have a positive impact on trainees’ interpersonal relationships (Alred, 2011; Butler,
2014; Kennedy & Black, 2010; Lyman, 2014; Truell, 2001). Dexter (1996, p. 89), in his
critical review, argued that during Person-Centred therapy training, trainees experience a
change of perspective of other people, the so called “fundamental philosophy shift”.
Overall, counselling and psychology trainings tend to have a distinctive effect on trainees’
self-development as they are going through an intense self-awareness about their
thoughts, feelings, beliefs and preferences. This transformation may also have an impact
on trainees’ close relationships; therefore, the following sections explore the potential
impact of higher education on peers, family, friendships and romantic relationships.
The impacts of higher education and self-development on peers, family and friendships
Before I discuss the impact of the higher education training on trainees’ romantic
relationships, it is also important to review the impact of graduate study on students’
lives in other areas of personal life such as with family members and friendships. This
hopefully will provide the readers with an overall view of the higher education’s positive
and negative impacts on trainees’ close relationships. Previous literature on Australian
doctoral students who undertook a PhD in pedagogy highlighted the importance of self-
reflection and dialogue with peers (Ward & West, 2008). In addition, Baker and Pifer
(2011) completed an empirical study with university students undertaking either PhD or
DEd in the USA and they suggested that self-study, including self-reflection, provided an
ideal opportunity to stimulate collaboration between peers and other groups in the
doctoral programmes. They also described a process of novice doctoral trainees learning
from each other and from the senior ones, a practice which occurs through periods of
socialisation and identity transition (Baker & Lattuca, 2010; Baker & Pifer, 2011). Baker
34
and Pifer (2011, p. 15) called this reciprocal support between the doctoral students, “the
family tree effect”.
Similar findings which support the impact of higher education and self-development on
family and friendships, were also indicated in the counselling and psychology literature. A
previous study from Kennedy and Black (2010) proposed that counsellors, after
completing their training, noticed improvements on their overall communication, a better
understanding of their immediate family members, an increased acceptance of others,
and an overall improvement in their interpersonal relationships. However, it is important
to mention that this study was conducted in the US, it is underpinned by heterogeneous
psychotherapeutic traditions and recruited six participants from only one city, factors
which may have influenced the findings.
Similarly, Truell (2001) conducted an empirical study in a UK university, and focused on
training experiences using grounded theory with in-depth semi-structured interviews. He
recruited six recent counselling graduates and he suggested that counselling training
affected trainees’ relationships with their partners, friends and family members, both
positively and negatively. Based on his qualitative grounded theory analysis, Truell
suggested that trainees struggle to integrate a balance between personal and
professional lives and as a result they become more selective of whom they may spend
more time with. He further suggests that newly qualified counsellors “are not only
vulnerable to the same phenomena but perhaps their problems are more intensified”
(Truell, 2001, p. 3), meaning that novice qualified therapists deal with more challenges at
the beginning of their career. While the results from Truell’s (2001) study help us to get a
better understanding on counselling students’ experiences, his contribution is limited to
reporting the impact of the training and practice that counsellors may have in their
personal lives. Additionally, findings are limited as the participant group was selected only
from one university therefore, these findings provide a situated and specific perspective
on this issue.
However, there are previous studies which indicated negative impacts of the
psychology/counselling training on trainees’ family and friendship relationships. More
specifically, Stevanovic and Rupert (2009) conducted a large-scale quantitative study
including 485 psychologists who completed a PhD in the USA. They documented
“spillover” of work stress into family life on a regular basis and as a consequence the
psychologists indicated that they had little time and energy to spent time with their
35
family at least once a week. It is important to note that these results were based on the
participants’ perceptions of themselves instead of the actual behaviour or perception of
family members. Therefore, it is possible that other perspectives (e.g., partners or
children) on the participants’ behaviour might be different from the participants’
perception. Additionally, Skovholt (2005) discusses the concept of “cycle of caring” in
therapy. Therapists routinely are entailed to build a therapeutic relationship, then stay
close to, and later detach from a range of clients. This kind of practice may have an
impact on the personal life and identity of the therapist, including being emotionally
unavailable to family members and adapting high levels of intolerance towards their
friends leading to ‘superficial’ relationships (Guy, 1987; Guy & Liaboe, 1986; Truell, 1998).
Therefore, they may develop a sense of social isolation or being an “outsider” in these
relationships (Henry, 1967, 1977).
In addition, previous empirical research on therapists’ friendships proposed that
counsellors with a professional experience in counselling for more than 10 years reported
fewer friendships compared with the start of their counselling career where they
reported more enjoyment and satisfaction from many more friendships (Cogan, 1978).
Previous research on clinical psychology trainees’ experiences found that during the
course the trainees experienced an internal transformation that inevitably impacted their
social interactions in everyday life (Hall, 2004; Nabal, 2009; Prentice, 2001). These three
studies reported that trainees’ shared meanings within their social networks were
diminished and replaced with new meanings only from the perspective of the trainee.
These types of changes threatened trainees’ existing social groups, and, in some
instances, they withdrew from their studies. An example of this internal transformation is
related to a process of becoming more psychologically minded and although this may
improve trainees’ empathy and sensitivity towards the needs of their family and friends,
it may also create distance when others struggle to participate in psychologically
informed conversation (Farber, 1983; Fiammenghi, 2015; Guy, 1987; Murdoch, 2000).
Previous research focused on psychotherapy trainees has therefore frequently indicated
that the impact of being emotionally unavailable because of the high levels of academic
work, may lead them to become distant from their family and less emotionally engaged
(Butler, 2014; Guy & Liaboe, 1986; Zur, 1994). In mitigation, however, trainees also
reported that they developed new ways of interacting and they developed the ability to
communicate any problems they may have had and they were able to better engage with
36
family members after the problem’s resolution (Alred, 2011; Butler, 2014). Further to
exploring the impact of higher education on close relationships, including friends and
family, the next section focuses on the impact of higher education and self-development
on romantic relationships.
The impacts of higher education and self-development on romantic relationships
As previously mentioned, when individuals enter higher education, they develop many
skills associated with self and experience identity development (Cast & Burke, 2002).
Previous studies have explored the impact of higher education degrees on trainees’
romantic relationships and a variety of themes have been identified (Brannock et al.,
2000; Dahl et al., 2010; Duncan & Goddard, 1993; Dyk, 1987; Fisiloglu & Lorenzetti, 1994;
Guldner, 1978; Legako & Sorenson, 2000; Polson et al., 1996; Polson & Nida, 1998;
Scheinkman, 1988; Sori et al., 1996). These studies documented themes in the
participants’ narratives including role conflict and the non-student partner holding extra
responsibilities (Fiammenghi, 2015; Polson & Piercy, 1993; Sori et al., 1996); the non-
student partner not being able to follow the trainee’s process of self-development (Dahl
et al., 2010; Fiammenghi, 2015; Legako & Sorenson, 2000; Sori et al., 1996); the
programme’s demands and time commitment impacting on the amount of time spending
with partner (Legako & Sorenson, 2000; Polson & Nida, 1998; Polson & Piercy, 1993; Sori
et al., 1996); financial pressures because of the lack of income and the need for extra
time to study (Legako & Sorenson, 2000; Polson & Nida, 1998; Sori et al., 1996); the
student partner’s development of communication skills and awareness of their own share
of responsibility impacting on problems in the romantic relationship (Dahl et al., 2010;
Fiammenghi, 2015; Polson & Piercy, 1993); enhancement of greater expressiveness in the
relationship together with a better appreciation and understanding of both partners’
abilities and needs (Dahl et al., 2010; Duncan & Goddard, 1993; Fiammenghi, 2015;
Legako & Sorenson, 2000).
Previous research suggests that when individuals - who are in long-term romantic
relationships or are married - enter a higher education psychotherapy programme, their
romantic relationships may become vulnerable especially in the first year because of the
many changes the trainees experience (Scheinkman, 1988). Guy (1987, p. 134) discusses
the theme of “gain and loss” within romantic relationships after the trainee enters a
counselling/psychology course. His comprehensive literature review looks at a range of
domains in the trainee’s life. After synthesising available research, he suggests that
37
“personal assets and liabilities of being a psychotherapist, noticeably affect interactions
with nearly everyone with whom the therapist experiences an intimate relationship”. This
theme of gain and loss echoes those proposed more recently by Fiammenghi (2015). She
researched clinical psychology doctoral students who were in long-term relationships and
reported that trainees’ development, during the training, negatively influenced their
romantic relationships. Although the clinical and counselling psychology training
encourages trainees’ self-reflection, self-awareness and self-esteem resulting in overall
self-development, it also may result in intrapersonal changes that can have a negative
impact on the trainees’ romantic relationships (Fiammenghi, 2015; Guy, 1987; Sori et al.,
1996). For instance, Fiammenghi (2015) indicated that when only one partner acquires a
graduate degree, changes in the couple may occur, an educational level gap is created
which causes feelings of inferiority to the non-degree partner. The intense emotional and
physical demands of the training can cause the trainee to feel drained and not be able to
meet their partners’ emotional needs and consequently create distance in the
relationship (Guy, 1987; Sori et al., 1996). Another study has suggested that self-
development due to training may have a negative impact on romantic relationships as
both partners may experience difficulties due to trainees’ identity development and this
may possibly lead to a divorce (Cast & Burke, 2002).
Some of Guy’s (1987, p. 138) observations require further careful empirical investigation.
Guy indicates that when entering the course, therapists may experience a “hectic
lifestyle” that may make them unavailable to their family, partners and friends. He also
suggests that the couple may experience conflict and confusion because of the high
demand of expectations in the training and the time constraints for the relationship.
However, he concludes that although couples may experience these changes in their
romantic relationship, there is no “conclusive data” and he admits that his findings and
main themes are an effect of “conjecture and supposition” (Guy, 1987, p. 129).
Nevertheless, such conjecture and supposition are useful to further consider and explore
different aspects of trainees’ personal lives while in training.
On the other hand, although trainees experienced challenges in their romantic
relationship because of the training, a notable trend in the literature also suggests that
trainees’ interactions with their partners improved over time (Fiammenghi, 2015; Guy,
1987; Sori et al., 1996; Truell, 2001). More specifically, trainees expressed improvements
in their romantic relationships as they experienced an integration of their therapeutic
38
skills and they no longer had to ‘practice’ their skills on their partners (Fiammenghi, 2015;
Legako & Sorenson, 2000). They also expressed a mutual improvement in their
communication skills, and they were able to better express their emotions to each other
(Fiammenghi, 2015; Legako & Sorenson, 2000; Truell, 2001). Positive effects were also
reported as generated from a continuous negotiation and greater sensitivity of their
needs due to the new demands the couple faces because of the training experience
(Duncan & Goddard, 1993; Fiammenghi, 2015; Ford Sori et al., 1996). Moreover, Wright
(2004) conducted an empirical study of 200 counselling students, with a focus on their
training experiences and the impact training had on their relationships including the
romantic ones. Her findings are consistent with the above studies and the benefits of the
training on the romantic relationships were reported as largely positive. However, she too
recognised the nature of the training and that couples may easily get dissatisfied because
of all the changes in their everyday lives.
Additionally, Alhanati (2009) conducted a qualitative empirical study focused on the
impact of therapists’ work on various domains of their personal lives including their
romantic relationships. She recruited six therapists and, arising from her thematic
analysis, one of the emerged themes was “intertwining of their personal and professional
worlds” in which the participants expressed their difficulty in separating their personal
and professional lives. Alhanati also mentioned positive findings as the participants
expressed better communication and acceptance within the relationships and they were
able to set boundaries within their interpersonal relationships. Alhanati’s (2009) and
Fiammenghi’s (2015) empirical research embrace a post-modern constructivist approach
to research and their narrative stories promote a creative and open discussion.
The discussion above clarifies Farber’s (1983) question about why students have positive
experiences during their training and others express their negative consequences of the
same training process. This dichotomy is apparent in the previous literature and this
study hopes to add to this gap in the literature by addressing how counselling psychology
trainees narrate their experiences on self-development and the impacts on their romantic
relationships.
An overall impression resulting from the above literature review is that trainees
experience complex transformations and self-development which have an impact on their
romantic relationships in diverse ways. This literature review employed a thematic
approach in order to place my research within a framework of knowledge in the specific
39
area of interest. However, now I have to put aside the knowledge I gained from this
literature review in order to engage with my participants’ narratives open-mindedly,
albeit as informed by my research questions as outlined below. I also hope that new
knowledge can be added to the existing literature by extending the focus on counselling
psychology doctorate trainees’ experiences and its impacts on romantic relationships.
These debates on notions of self-development and ideas about long-term romantic
relationships help shape and inform the key objectives and research questions of this
study. The next section presents the research aims and objectives of the current study
and ends by outlining the specific research questions.
Research Aims and Objectives
Doctoral education is an established and global research field. Nevertheless, there are still
considerable gaps in what is known about counselling psychology doctoral trainees, their
experiences, and how the new learning transforms their self and romantic relationships.
The goal of this research is to generate participants’ narratives about their romantic
relationships and the doctorate’s influence and/or impact it has had on their personal
lives. Through documenting and analysing their stories, this study aims to provide an
insight into the potential self-development trainees and qualified counselling
psychologists may have experienced due to their doctoral training and how these might
have had an impact on their romantic relationships. In this sense this study aims to
contribute to wider knowledge about the diverse impacts of advanced higher educational
training, and specifically therapeutic training. This research also aims to inform
counselling psychologists and potential future trainees on the experiences they may
encounter during the doctorate and bring awareness to the possibility that it may affect
their romantic relationships. The study objectives are:
• to explore narrators’ accounts of their experiences during their doctoral training;
• to contribute to debates about qualified counselling psychologists’ self-development
accompanying their counselling psychology training;
• to generate accounts of experiences of the impacts the doctorate had on those
individuals’ romantic relationships;
• to analyse the accounts of the narrators’ self-development and its influence on their
romantic relationships.
40
Research Questions
1. What narratives of self-development do trainees report accompanying their
counselling psychology training?
2. What are the narrators’ experiences of their doctoral training in terms of its
impacts on their romantic relationship?
3. How do narrators present their self-development and how this may have
influenced their romantic relationship?
Chapter Summary
In this chapter I have reviewed the relevant philosophical, theoretical and empirical
research literature in the following key areas: 1) self, identity and self-development, 2)
love, its preliminary distinctions and romantic relationships, 3) self-development in higher
education and its associated impacts on romantic relationships. This literature review has
also evaluated relevant previous studies on trainees’ self-development during their
training. An explanation of the models of self and identity theories were considered
significant to elaborate on and evaluate. In addition, the previous existing literature of the
aforementioned key areas related to the research questions and the aim of the study
were discussed.
41
Chapter 3: Methodology
Overview
The aim of this chapter is to provide an overview of the research process related to this
study. In part one of this chapter, I describe the epistemological positioning and
philosophical underpinnings of my study. In part two, I present the methodological
approach; including my choice of qualitative research and the rationale for using
narrative analysis to answer this study’s research questions. In part three, I provide a
detailed description of the method and procedure, and a step-by-step process of the data
analysis. In part four, I include the trustworthiness and I reflect on the ethical issues
related to this study and how considering these issues allowed transparency towards the
entire research process. Finally, in this chapter, I present my reflections on the research
process.
Part one: Epistemological positioning and philosophical underpinnings
In this section, I give an overview of my ontological and epistemological position in the
current research. More specifically, I refer to the position I adopt in relation to the type of
knowledge my research generates and to the methodological decisions I made in the
process of this study. Traditionally, qualitative inquiry has been informed by the
exploration of research paradigms. There is no specific ontological and epistemological
stance that one may follow in a qualitative research (Boje et al., 2004). Therefore, each
researcher needs to identify their own research paradigm. While exploring my
epistemological stance, I had in mind the philosophy of science and its conceptual roots
which reinforced my quest for knowledge. Under the philosophy of science umbrella, I
felt the need to explore my beliefs or assumptions regarding the ontology, epistemology,
the relationship between the participant (knower) and me as the researcher (the would-
be knower), and the axiology and methodology (Creswell, 2007; Denzin & Lincoln, 2011;
Guba & Lincoln, 1994; Ponterotto, 2002).
Filstead (1979, p. 34) referred to the paradigm being a “set of interrelated assumptions
about the social world which provides a philosophical and conceptual framework for the
organised study of that world”’. In other words, a research paradigm introduces a variety
of contexts to the researchers and it helps them to encompass a diversity of paradigmatic
schemas to develop and classify and organise their research (Denzin & Lincoln, 2011). The
first step in deciding my epistemological stance was to explore my ontological position.
42
Ontology refers to the form and nature of reality and being (Willig, 2008). For instance,
ontology addresses the question “What is the form and nature of reality, and what can be
known about that reality?” (Ponterotto, 2005). My ontological stance aligns to the one of
being relativist which supports the notion that there are multiple, constructed realities
rather than one single reality. According to the constructivist position, an individual is
influenced by the context of a situation, and their perceptions are developed based on
their social environment, cultural beliefs and interactions with other people (Guba &
Lincoln, 1994). More specifically, in my research, I decided to interview only a specific
number of participants and explore their idiographic perspectives. The word “idiographic”
derives from the Greek idios, which means applying to the individual and it also focuses
on the individual’s complexities and uniqueness (Hood & Johnson, 1997). In addition, I
analysed and transcribed the data on my own which helped me to identify the categories.
My aim was to explore each narrator’s experiences with their multiple meanings and
interpretations instead of unearth a single ‘truth’ from narrators’ realities (Morrow,
2005). This ontological position does not only match to the purpose of my research, but it
also fits with counselling psychology as it values the individual’s subjective experiences
and uniqueness of their narratives. As a relativist researcher, while I was trying to decide
my epistemological stance I had in my mind the question of What is the nature of the
relationship between the knower or would-be knower and what can be known?
(Ponterotto, 2005).
For the purpose of the current study, a constructivist-subjectivist standpoint has been
chosen (Guba & Lincoln, 1994; Ponterotto, 2002). Constructivism has been developed on
the assumption that the reality is not a singular ‘truth’ and it is constructed in the mind of
the individual (Hansen, 2004). The constructivist position supports a hermeneutical
approach where in the individual’s lived experiences there are hidden meanings and must
be explored through deep reflections (Schwandt, 2000; Sciarra, 1999). This may be
achieved through semi-structured interviews, intense interaction and a dialogue between
the researcher and the participant. It is likely for both the researcher and the participant
to change in some way as a result of the dialogic interaction (Ponterotto, 2005). This may
be because the researcher gets into an interactive dialogue with the participants and
together they co-construct verdicts and make interpretations. The purpose of
constructivism-subjectivism is both idiographic and emic. The origins of emic is from a
phonemic (language specific) rule of language which addresses the work in
communication (Pedersen, 1999). The emic distinction suggests that an individual’s
43
constructs and behaviours are unique, they are formed on their sociocultural context and
they cannot be generalisable.
It is also evident that a constructivist-subjectivist researcher may empathise and identify
with common experiences participants describe (Sciarra, 1999). This was evident in this
study, as I identified many times with the narrators’ experiences, as they seemed similar.
Following the constructivist axiological stance, throughout my research I acknowledged
my values and, instead of eliminating them, I tried to minimise them so as not confuse
them with the participants’ values (Ponterotto, 2005). However, sometimes this was hard
during the interviews as my epistemology relies on a constructivist position in which the
interpersonal contact with the participants is necessary to facilitate a safe environment
for them to express their lived experiences. As a result, I tried to keep a track of my
thoughts via research diary, which are also explored and reflected on throughout this
study, mostly at the end of most chapters and in the Reflexivity chapter. Further to the
above explanations of my ontological and epistemological position, I will now move to
part two in which I describe the methodological procedure of the research, based on my
constructivist-subjectivist epistemological stance.
Part two: Methodology
A qualitative approach
For the purpose of this study, I have chosen a qualitative approach as it fits with my
ontological, epistemological stance, and my professional identity as a humanistic
counselling psychologist (Creswell, 2007). The qualitative approach also allows me to
address the aims of my study. Qualitative approaches continues to grow in recent
research, since humanistic researchers were previously unable to capture the rich and
diverse range of the participants’ experiences and their sociocultural contexts (Smith,
2008). As a result, the positivist tradition of scientific inquiry, which has been popular
since the 1950’s, became more balanced in relation to the qualitative approach. As a
psychology practitioner, I have a participatory role in the current inquiry, and I value the
individuals’ stories and the sense making experience of my clients. As the present
research is interested in narrators’ subjective experiences, a qualitative approach enables
me, as a researcher, to focus on the individuals’ meaning making experiences and attend
to their cultural and social contexts as they are deemed fundamental to understanding
human reality (Smith, 2008; Willig & Stainton-Rogers, 2008). Counselling psychology
44
values are also compatible with qualitative research, in which it has been recognised that
qualitative methods are more congruent to the philosophy of practice (Morrow, 2005).
Quantitative research methods on the other hand, focus on statistical and numerical data
through objective measurements and instruments such as questionnaires. The main aim
for a quantitative method is to collect a large number of participants, rank and categorise
the data (McLeod, 2001). This approach is also useful for researchers who would like to
generalise their data across groups of people and give responses to hypotheses for a
potential phenomenon (Kasim et al., 2010). Therefore, I consider quantitative approaches
to be unsuitable for fulfilling this research’s aims, as they do not offer a deep
understanding of my participants’ experiences during the doctorate and its influence on
their romantic relationships. With this in mind, I decided to use a methodological
narrative inquiry using semi-structured interviews to collect the data and to use narrative
analysis to analyse the interview transcripts.
Narrative Inquiry
As noted above, I decided to use narrative inquiry as a methodological approach to
pursue the research aims which explore and provide an inner depth of the world of the
individuals (Lieblich et al., 1998). In addition, this approach helped me consider how
individuals’ personal narratives, of their self-development and romantic relationships, are
contextualised within broader narratives, such as those located in the world of
counselling psychology. In recent years, it is increasingly common for qualitative
researchers to express an interest in narrative forms of inquiry (Polkinghorne, 1988;
Sarbin, 1986; Willig & Stainton-Rogers, 2008). According to the sociological standpoint,
people’s biographical stories echo social structures and in their own expressions they
reflect stories of social worlds (Gubrium & Holstein, 2009). On the other hand, according
to the psychological standpoint, individuals use narratives as a way to explore and
reproduce their ‘inner self instead of their external social worlds’ (Crossley, 2000).
Narrative psychology supports that these contradictory standpoints are both important in
qualitative research as individuals’ narratives could contribute meaningful information
about both individuals’ ‘self’ and their social environments (Riessman & Speedy, 2007;
Riley & Hawe, 2005).
Additionally, narrative psychology supports the idea that individuals’ experiences and
behaviours are meaningful and there is a need to discover the ‘meaning systems’ which
structure the way individuals perceive the world (Polkinghorne, 1988). According to the
45
constructivist-subjectivist stance, there are multiple ways that an individual may
understand their reality including through their culture, history, interaction with others
and the environment (Atkinson & Delamont, 2006). Narrative psychologists reacted to
the laboratory-experimental research in psychology as it tended to dehumanise
participants, and they suggested ways to obtain a deeper understanding of individual
experiences and to find methods to represent the individuals’ stories about themselves
(Crossley, 2000; Parker, 2005). This process included the interpretations, reflections and
language that somebody use to create and define themselves (Gergen, 2009). It is evident
that individuals are more likely to share stories of their experiences instead of specific
information (Mertova & Webster, 2019; Smith & Sparkes, 2006). This is because when
people use stories in a social co-constructed environment, they are more likely to connect
and relate with other people or a group of individuals while looking for any similarities
and differences to construct new realities (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000; Jin & Cortazzi,
2006).
What is narrative?
The idea of narrative can be traced back to Aristotle’s Poetics (Bruner, 2002; Chatman,
1978; Leitch, 1986; Martin, 1986). The origins of the word narrative can be drawn from
the Latin ‘gnarus’ which means ‘knowing’ and the Greek ‘historia’ which means ‘story’
(Holloway & Freswater, 2007). It may also have an Indo-European root with the word
‘gna’ which means both ‘to know’ and ‘to tell’ (Hinchman & Hinchman, 1997). The term
narrative has a multiplicity of meanings and different disciplines can use the word in a
variety of ways to describe the meaning of the ‘story’. More specifically, Labov and
Waletzky’s (1997) definition of narrative was ‘units that construct a temporal sequence of
events that have two functions’ (Labov & Walettzky, 1967, p. 18). These two functions
relate to the individual’s physical and social setting. Similarly, Elliot (2005) described
narratives being composed of three main constituents; temporal meaningful and social.
Depending on the individual’s situation and context, each constituent may give a different
meaning to the story. Sikes and Gale (2006) refer to narrative with a broader definition as
‘an account of something’.
All these definitions and different meanings can be problematic for researchers as they
can be confusing and create uncertainty as to which definition is more appropriate.
Previous research supports the idea that the structure of narrative accounts is changeable
and it depends on a range of components including the narrator, the audience and the
46
broader sociocultural co-created reality (Murray, 2003). In summary, much evidence
supports narrative approaches and their significance in the ways they try to explore and
understand the individual’s self and social environment. This current study attempts to
explore, drawing on a narrative approach, how individuals’ narratives express a story
about their self-development, doctorate experiences and their romantic relationships. It
also attempts to explore how this has contributed to the development and formation of
their identity.
Narrative Analysis
The term ‘narrative analysis’ is an umbrella term which is used as a method to analyse a
story from texts (Riessman, 2008). There is a significant diversity in how narrative analysis
is conceptualised and practiced by researchers. However, despite the fact that there are
many kinds of narrative analysis, they all recognise stories as a way to create meaning in
an individual’s life (Burman, 2003; Crossley, 2000). Previous research has shown that, by
using narrative analysis, a researcher adopts a specific position in relation to the research
and tries to explore in the data co-constructed events and their meanings through
interpretations (Clandinin & Connelly, 2000; Ricoeur & Kearney, 1996). Lieblich et al.
(1998), agree with that view as they propose that narrative research is useful for
researchers who are open to any possible ambiguity. They also proposed that a
researcher’s interpretations are always personal, partial and dynamic.
Similarly to Lieblich et al. (1998), Riessman (2000) pointed out that it is very important for
a researcher to pay attention on the multi-layered meanings within participants’
narratives and the co-constructed context in which their narratives are based on. She
proposed four major types of approaches which are thematic, structural, dialogic and
visual (Riessman, 2008). She also suggested that the thematic and structural approaches
are used for fundamental understandings of narratives whereas the dialogic and visual
may be used in relation to the first two approaches (Riessman, 2008). Thematic
approaches are the most widely used and they explore the ‘what’ is said more than ‘how’
it is said within the content of the story emerging topics and themes (Riessman, 2008).
Structural approaches explore mostly the linguistic elements of the story such as words,
metaphors and the sequences within participants’ narratives (Bal et al., 2011). Dialogic
approaches explore the conversation between the speakers and thee way dialogs are
constructed (Gubrium & Holstein, 2012). Last but not least, visual approaches explore
47
how participants use images as a means of communication to describe their narrative
(Tiidenberg, 2015).
In exploring different ways for reading, interpreting and analysing qualitative data, I
realised that narrative data analysis could vary depending on the researcher’s design
strategy whether to categorise and classify the data of the narratives into genres, or
conduct a more in-depth analysis of the data so as to explore underlying themes through
a sense-making process (Hiles & Cermak, 2008). After reading different types of narrative
analysis approaches within the narrative analysis literature, I came across the Lieblich et
al. (1998) interpretive model of narrative analysis which consists four different
dimensions; content, categorical, holistic and form. From these four models, two main
independent dimensions emerge - those of holistic versus categorical approaches and
content versus form (Lieblich et al., 1998). The holistic versus categorical dimension refers
to the analysis of the narrative as a whole (holistic) and the analysis of specific categories
or themes such as specific events or experiences notable within the narrative
(categorical). The content versus form dimension refers to the analysis of the content of
the narrative (content) and the way the narrative is structured (form). Lieblich et al.,
(1998) emphasised that these two dimensions may be seen as intersecting four different
interpretive models, namely holistic-content, holistic-form, categorical-content and
categorical-form.
1. Holistic-content interpretive model: In this model the researcher analyses the
complete story of the participant and use different parts, across the narrative, to
analyse both explicit and implicit meaning of the content. Furthermore, the
researcher may create connections throughout the narrative so as to develop a
global theme which represents the premise of the whole story of the participant.
2. Holistic-form interpretive model: In this model the researcher presents an analysis
of the complete story of the participant and focuses mostly on the formal aspects
of the narrative such as narrative typology, progression and cohesiveness of the
narrative.
3. Categorical-content interpretive model: In this model the researcher analyses the
content of the narrative and specific utterances from the participant’s narrative
are extracted and allocated into broad or narrow categories and subcategories.
The researcher may also compare a specific experience referenced across several
interviews.
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4. Categorical-form interpretive model: In this model the researcher focuses on the
linguistic features of the narrative such as metaphors and frequency of passive
versus active expressions and by extracting specific utterances, tries to allocate
them into categories and subcategories.
These interpretive models may be used as isolated means of analysis or in a combination.
These approaches may be associated to different types of research questions, modes of
text and sample size (Hiles & Cermak, 2008). I outline the model which I adopted and the
decisions behind this selection in the narrative analysis section.
To summarise, the aim of this study was to explore how trainees and qualified counselling
psychologists make sense of their experiences, especially the difficult ones. The process
of this study was not about discovering the empirical/objective truth (Stephenson &
Kippax, 2008), but the participants’ unique co-constructed stories. Nevertheless, this
study’s foundation was on the assumption that the story becomes true because it is
meaningful for the participant. In the next part, I will provide a detailed account of the
rationale behind my chosen approach and its characteristics.
Part three: Methods
As described in the previous section, this research adopted a qualitative narrative inquiry,
and the transcripts were analysed with the narrative analysis approach. In the following
section I will describe all the steps followed in the recruitment process, data collection
and data analysis.
Participant Recruitment
Regarding the number of participants, the goal of qualitative interview study is to collect
a small number of participants due to the large quantity of rich and in-depth data (Mason,
2010). Smith, Flower and Larkin (2009) recommended a recruitment of eight participants
for a doctoral level thesis, but the question of how many interviews are enough remains a
matter of debate that depends on the research questions and the analytical approach
(Baker & Edwards, 2012). Participants were recruited using a variety of methods. Initially,
I contacted via email all the universities across the UK, which offers the counselling
psychology professional doctorate, and I asked them to help me in advertising my
research across their cohorts (see Appendix D, pg. 204). Five out of eight universities
agreed to help me in the recruitment process, and they forwarded my email to the
students. In relation to my analytical framework, I considered that a variety of universities
49
and the different geographical locations would help me to generate enough material to
provide meaningful findings. This email included a flyer about this research and the
details about my study. The flyer provided brief and clear details such as what the study
involves and a brief introduction about myself as a trainee counselling psychologist (see
Appendix E, pg. 205). Participants from my own university were also included because, as
Burman (1994) argues, the researcher’s prior knowledge of participants from non-
research contexts may facilitate greater disclosure and reflexive commentary in the
interview. I also advertised my study to user-led websites (such as Facebook, LinkedIn) by
attaching the flyer together with a brief message. Furthermore, I recruited participants
through the snowballing technique. This method was effective as I managed to recruit
some participants through recommendations from other people who worked in similar
professions.
I did not recruit any participants who were doing or had completed the Qualification in
Counselling Psychology (QCoP) route. This is because, as I previously mentioned, I firstly
contacted a variety of universities to help me with the recruitment process and bring me
in contact with registered or alumni students. I could have tried to recruit individuals
from the QCoP route but by the end of the time period I had allocated for my recruitment
process I had already enough participants to proceed with the study. Therefore, I
acknowledge that the narratives might include slightly different issues from those
relevant to the QCoP, or they might be the same but intensified in different ways. The
recruitment process lasted approximately four months in total. Once the participants
expressed their interest to my study, I ensured that they met the inclusion criteria which
are noted below.
This research engaged in a purposive sampling, which allowed me to choose potential
participants with specific characteristics (Denscombe, 2010). Purposive sampling method
of recruitment ensures to generate a high quality of materials and information on the
study’s topic. Based on this, in the present research, participants were selected on the
basis of whether or not they met the following criteria:
Adults (over 18).
Counselling psychology trainees (on their final year of the programme) or qualified
counselling psychologists.
Any gender.
50
In a long-term romantic relationship, which started prior to the doctoral training
and continued throughout the training or might have subsequently ended after
entering the doctorate.
In a romantic relationship with a duration of minimum two years.
Any type of relationship (heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, but monogamous,
or primarily presented as such).
Any marital status (married, living with partner, not living with partner but in a
long-term relationship).
Trainees in their first and second year of training were excluded as they would not be
sufficiently exposed to the doctorate experience. Although there is variability, self-
development is of course influenced by diverse factors. Trainees in their final year tend to
be more able to discuss their development compared to less experienced ones, and they
are also in most need of support as the final year is regarded as the ‘most intense’ period
of training (Rønnestad & Skovholt, 2003). In the following sections, I will provide details
about the participants and the interviews.
Participants
A total of nine participants were recruited for the purposes of this study which was
considered to be a sufficient number to allow me to address the research aims, and to
complete a thorough analysis with the transcripts within the time and the word
limitations I had. Participants were seven women and two men, aged from 23 to 54 years
old. From the nine participants, eight were in a heterosexual and one in a homosexual
romantic relationship. Participants were from four different universities. Five of them
studied and/or graduated from the same university as me, the University of Manchester.
At the time of the recruitments process, I was in my second year and following the
inclusion criteria of this study “counselling psychology trainees (on their final year of the
programme) or qualified counselling psychologists”. I did not recruit any trainee from my
cohort, nor did I have any close relationship with any of the participants.
The gender ‘imbalance’ in my participant group can be interpretated in a number of ways.
It could simply be because more women form part of the counselling profession (British
Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, 2014). Even though I contacted a few
men, only two expressed interest to take part in my study. Some others expressed their
interest to take part but because of their busy schedules they opted out. One particular
51
man indicated that he felt that my research’s topic was on a very personal topic and he
decided not to take part.
The final participant group consisted of trainee and qualified counselling psychologists (4
trainee and 5 qualified at that time). Biographical descriptions of the nine participants can
be found in the next section. All participants were English speakers. This research did not
exclude any participants on the basis of their religious beliefs, ethnic origin or disability. In
the table below, I present the participants’ demographics in the sequence the interviews
took place. For reasons of maintaining anonymity, this demographic information is
necessarily quite general. However, I considered that some such information was relevant
to collect.
Table 1: Participants’ Demographics
Participant Pseudonym
Age Range Gender Ethnicity Trainee or Qualified
Years in Romantic Relationship
Amelia 45-50 Woman White European
Trainee 6 years
Lily 50-55 Woman White British Qualified 23 years
Donna 30-35 Woman White British Qualified 8 years
Nicole 50-55 Woman White British Qualified 30 years
Sophia 30-35 Woman White British Qualified 3+ years
Paul 40-45 Man White European
Qualified 13 years
Rosie 35-40 Woman White European
Trainee 10 years
Patrick 20-25 Man White British Trainee 6 years
Emma 30-35 Woman White European
Trainee 10 years
Presenting the participants
In this section, I will offer a brief introduction to the nine individuals who participated in
the semi-structured interviews. I do not claim that the participant information I provide
here is a precise reflection of their real self. However, since participants are within an
interpersonal and social context, I consider it important to portray a general sense of
their identities in the way I perceived it. At the time of the interviews, all narrators were
living in the UK. Throughout the research process, I have maintained the anonymity of the
52
narrators involved through the use of pseudonyms of their preference, and altered
specific details accordingly when this was necessary (Dempsey et al., 2016).
1) Amelia
Amelia was a woman in her mid-forties who described her ethnicity as White-European.
At the time of the interview she was in her final year of her doctoral training. She was in a
six-year long-term distant relationship. Amelia volunteered to participate in my research
from an email I sent to her university, which was forwarded to all the doctorate students.
The email included a participant information sheet and a consent form. I then booked a
room at her university’s library in which Amelia signed the consent form. Then, I
explained to her the process of the interview and I offered her time to ask me any
questions or clarifications.
Amelia was very open about her romantic relationship and her experiences during her
doctoral training. She described her overall experience very challenging and this had a
negative impact on her romantic relationship, as it was in a developmental phase at the
start of the course. Amelia also talked about the practical difficulties she faced during the
doctorate and how these changed her as an individual.
2) Lily
Lily was a White-British woman in her mid-fifties who was a registered Counselling
Psychologist. She was married for 23 years and lived with her partner. This was her
second marriage. I contacted Lily on LinkedIn where I described the nature of the study
and sent her the participant information sheet with the details of the research. Once she
agreed to take part in my study, I travelled to the city she was living at and we completed
the interview in her university’s library. Once she read the participant information sheet
and signed the consent form, I explained the procedure and then Lily told me her story of
undertaking the doctorate and its impact on her romantic relationship. She expressed her
experience as a positive one and she shared details on how the doctorate helped her
relationship to develop further.
3) Donna
Donna was a White-British woman in her mid-thirties and she was a qualified Counselling
Psychologist. She was in a process of getting a divorce from her partner after eight years
of a relationship. In our initial private LinkedIn communication, I sent to Donna all the
relevant documents and once she decided to take part in my study, I booked a private
53
room in her university’s library. Donna, in her story, talked about her enormous self-
development during the doctorate and how this helped her to explore what she really
wanted from a romantic relationship and her decision to break-up from her partner.
4) Nicole
Nicole was a White-British woman in her mid-fifties and a registered Counselling
Psychologist. At the time of the interview she was married, in a 30-year long relationship
and living with her partner. We communicated via email and we arranged to complete
the interview in a counselling room in her working environment. Once I explained the
interview procedure, Nicole was given time to read the participant information sheet and
to sign the consent form. Nicole’s interview was the lengthiest of all and she was one of
the few participants who found her experience during the doctorate very pleasant, with a
significantly positive impact on her romantic relationship. She expressed her views and
how she became a confident practitioner, but also that her self-development helped not
only her romantic relationship but her family as well.
5) Sophia
Sophia was a White-British woman in her thirties and she was a newly qualified
Counselling Psychologist. At the time of the interview she was in a relationship but with a
different partner from the one she had before and during the doctorate. The focus of the
interview was on her previous relationship. I approached Sophia on LinkedIn and after
sending her all the relevant information of the research, we arranged to complete the
interview in the living room of her house. Sophia was slightly nervous in the beginning of
the interview and she was worried that she would not have much information to share
that could help my research. Once I had explained to her the nature of the study she felt
more comfortable to talk. Sophia described her doctoral journey as horrendous with most
of her experiences, both academic and relationship related, being negative.
6) Paul
Paul was one of the two men in my research. He was a White-European and a newly
qualified Counselling Psychologist in his forties. At the time of the interview, he was in a
thirteen-year relationship and living with his partner. I contacted Paul after a suggestion
from a previous participant. Once I emailed him the research’s relevant documents, we
agreed to meet and have an interview at his working environment. At the beginning of
the interview I explained my research topic and Paul signed the consent form. Paul’s
54
narrative included mixed emotions for his overall doctoral experience. Regarding his
relationship, although the overall feeling was positive, there were many ups and downs
due to academic stressors.
7) Rosie
Rosie was a White-European woman in her late thirties. At the time of the interview she
was the final year of her doctorate. She was married in a ten-year relationship and lived
with her partner. I emailed Rosie asking her to participate in my research. She was very
interested in my topic and after she read the participant information sheet and signed the
consent form she happily took part. We agreed to have the interview at her university’s
library in a private room. Rosie talked about her personal difficulties during the training.
She also talked about losing her independence as due to financial pressures she became
dependent to her partner.
8) Patrick
Patrick was the second man and youngest participant. He was a White-British in his early
twenties. At the time of the interview he was at the beginning of the doctorate’s final
year and he was in a six-year romantic relationship living with his partner. I contacted
Patrick on LinkedIn sharing information about my research and once he agreed to take
part, we arranged an interview in his university’s library. During the interview, I explained
him the nature of the research and he then signed the consent form. Patrick talked about
the demands of his doctorate, self-discipline, organisation and how he developed a
reflective approach. He also discussed about the doctorate’s overall positive impact it had
on his romantic relationship.
9) Emma
Emma was the last participant of this research. Emma was a White-European woman in
her early thirties. At the time of the interview, she was moving towards the completion of
her doctorate (writing her thesis). She was married in an almost ten-year relationship and
lived with her partner. In our initial conversation, I sent to Emma the relevant documents
for my research and once she agreed to take part, I booked a room in the city’s library to
conduct the interview. Emma was the only participant who talked openly about the
intimate life in her relationship. Emma in her story talked about her enormous self-
development during her doctorate, including her awareness on global matters, her
55
interest in meaningful conversations, the negative impact her clinical practice had on her
intimate life and her partner’s self-development during her doctoral journey.
The Researcher
Having presented the participants’ introductions, I feel the need to introduce myself as
the researcher of the study to assure the trustworthiness of the research (Morrow, 2005).
More of my reflections, thoughts and assumptions about this research are provided
within the Reflective analysis chapter.
I am a white, Greek woman trainee on the Professional Doctorate of Counselling
Psychology at the University of Manchester and I have practiced as a therapist/trainee for
the last 3 years. I have wanted to be a counselling psychologist since I was 13 years old.
While writing my dissertation for my Masters in Health Psychology, I decided to apply for
the professional doctorate. I had limited prior experience in working with clients at that
point of time. When I began this doctorate, I was in a 5 year-long romantic relationship
with my partner. During my doctoral training I experienced many positive and negative
challenges both in my self-development and within my romantic relationship. More
information about myself and my romantic relationship is provided in chapter 5 reflexivity
(pg. 109).
When I undertook the interviews, my experiences on personal and professional level, in
relation to the doctorate, could be characterised as minimal compared to some of my
participants who have been qualified for years and stayed in longer-term romantic
relationships. An interesting point was that I was aware of my reflections, from the
beginning of this research and my thoughts and feelings were kept in a diary throughout
this research process, that has informed my analysis. Being knowledgeable of the
qualities a counselling psychologist should have, such as active listening, empathising,
reflecting, I utilised them during the participants’ interviews without sharing any personal
information about myself. I aimed to provide a safe, personal and private environment
for my participants which enabled them to openly share their stories without any
interruptions.
Data collection
In this section, the data collection procedures will be discussed, including the interview
settings, semi-structured interviews, interview schedule and protocol, pilot study,
procedure, field notes, and transcription process.
56
Interview Settings
Interviews were carried out in a variety of quiet and confidential places and at times that
were convenient for the participants and myself. Although the place of the interviews
weighted more towards the suitability and preference of the participants, I adjusted
accordingly to meet their needs. This was because I felt that it was more appropriate to
offer this flexibility, given the fact that they used their free time to participate in my study
voluntarily. The choice of the location was given by the participants, but I ensured that
the place would be appropriate for the interview purposes. Most interviews were
conducted at the participants’ working environment or their local library. Prior to the
room booking I discussed with participants who would make the booking to preserve
participant’s anonymity. One interview was carried out at a participant’s home. It is worth
mentioning that all the agreed settings I ensured my safety throughout the interview
process by following University of Manchester protocols, and they were carried out
during working hours. For instance, my supervisor was informed by text before and after
the end of the interview, to confirm my safety. For the purposes of this study, I decided
not to carry out interviews via Skype to keep a consistency throughout the interview
process and enhance the opportunity for a better communication between the
researcher and the participant.
Semi-structured interviews
There is a variety of ways in which narratives can be collected, with interviews being the
most popular one (Riessman, 2008). The main purpose of the narrative interview is to
collect a detailed story of individuals’ life events (Riessman, 2008) on the topic of interest.
For the purpose of the present study, the narratives were collected through semi-
structured interviews. The rationale for this type of data collection came from a narrative
perspective in which suggests that the individual is not simply a social role, but they are in
a continuous process of becoming that role (Mattingly, 1998). Conducting semi-
structured interviews, allows the researcher to be flexible regarding the direction of the
interview and to follow the participants’ narratives to gain a deeper understanding of the
study’s topic (Smith, 1995). This type of interview provides participants with feelings of
flexibility and freedom to discuss what they considered important (Riessman, 1993). It is
worth mentioning that the researcher’s interpretations are based on their sociocultural
background and it is essential to include their biographical details, ontological and
57
epistemological stance, and their personal experiences related to the study (Corbin &
Strauss, 2008).
Semi-structured interviews were considered as the most appropriate choice for collecting
data that would allow participants to express their stories about their self-development
and their relationships during their doctoral training. Other methods of qualitative data,
for example unstructured interviews, would not be beneficial due to my aim to gather as
rich information as possible for this specific topic. Focus groups would not be beneficial
either due to the sensitivity of the topic and some participants may struggle to express
their stories in front of other people especially within the same professional domain.
Interview schedule and Protocol
As this is one of the first studies which focused on this topic, there is a limited knowledge
surrounding this area. I designed an interview schedule based on my research questions
which were elicited from research aims and objectives. This schedule was also designed
bearing in mind my constructivist-subjectivist stance in my mind (see Appendix F, pg.
206). Firstly, I wrote a small statement in which I explained the nature of the study. This
helped me to introduce my topic to the participants without overlooking any elements of
this study. Secondly, I created four demographic questions which helped to collect details
such as the participants’ age, culture, years of relationship and marital status. Lastly, I
moved on to the five main interview questions which helped the participants to
understand better the nature of the study and narrate their stories around the objectives
of the research. My intention was to begin with a broad question to set the scene and
then move on to more specific and personal questions (Crossley, 2000). I had only a
limited number of questions to allow the participants to express freely their views to get
the depth where they would share rich, spontaneous (Kvale, 2008) and meaningful
narratives. Through my empathic listening, I aimed to provide a warm space for the
participant’s to express their thoughts and ideas in a non-judgemental environment
(Mishler, 1986). The interview schedule was planned to last 45-60 minutes with the
possibility of an extension up to 90 minutes, if the participant desired it.
Pilot Study
A pilot study was conducted with one participant to assess the effectiveness of the
interview schedule and to see whether the methodology was adequate to collect in-
depth, meaningful data that is essential for a robust and ethical project. Previous research
58
suggests the use of two types of pilot study (Robson, 2011). The first one is the ‘pre-test’
where researchers test different approaches and the second is the ‘dress rehearsal’
where researchers collect the data as in the real study. For the current pilot study, I
decided to include both ‘pre-test’ and ‘dress rehearsal’ types. A reason for that was that it
helped me to learn the interview schedule and especially the questions in advance (Smith
et al., 2009). Another reason was that the testing enabled me to see if any practical issues
occurred in advance, as interviews may be awkward if the interviewer is unprepared
(Langdridge, 2007).
The pilot study was conducted in a local library, as I would do with the participants of the
full study. Once the interview finished, I asked the participant to provide me with a verbal
feedback about the process and I noted my thoughts and reflections to refine the data
collection. It is noteworthy to mention that the participant was not informed that I would
request a feedback after the interview, as I was worried that it might have affected their
responses and the data quality. After a conversation with my academic supervisor about
my thoughts and experience with the pilot study, I decided to include this participant’s
interview in the final analysis as the data was rich, meaningful and answered the research
questions. It also felt unethical to ask the participant to dedicate her time and share her
stories on personal experiences and not further use her data. Finally, conducting this pilot
study helped me to feel more comfortable and confident for the main research
interviews, and hopefully allow the participants to feel more comfortable to share their
stories. Ethical approval for this pilot study was provided from the University of
Manchester Ethics Committee prior to the recruitment of participants (see Appendix O,
pg. 248).
Procedure
Before the interview started, I gave the participants a printed copy of the information
sheet outlining the research aims and procedures and after reading it I asked them if they
had any questions relating to this (see Appendix G, pg. 208). I then asked for their
permission to record the interview using a Dictaphone. Recording the interview would
help me to give my full attention to the participants’ stories without needing to pause
and take notes. Participants were also informed that it was their choice to not expand on
any details about sensitive issues that may cause them feeling uncomfortable. I then
reminded them that they could withdraw at any stage of the process without providing a
reason for their choice. Interviewees were also made aware that the interview could stop
59
at any time, and that I would switch off the recorder device. They were also informed that
at the end of the interview, a time space was dedicated for them to make any reflections
and bring the interview process to a close. Following this, I checked that they were still
happy to participate and for their data to be used within the research. Once they agreed I
gave them a copy of the consent form which outlined their rights within the interview
process. Both participants and I signed the consent form (see Appendix H, pg. 212). I also
informed them that at the end of the interview, they could select a pseudonym of their
preference for anonymity and confidentiality purposes.
Table 2: Procedure Details
Participant Pseudonym
Duration Participation Location
Amelia 63 minutes Volunteered Local Library
Lily 64 minutes Volunteered Local Library
Donna 76 minutes Volunteered Local Library
Nicole 82 minutes Volunteered Work environment
Sophia 66 minutes Volunteered Sophia’s home
Paul 65 minutes Suggested by another participant
Work environment
Rosie 61 minutes Suggested by another participant
Local Library
Patrick 60 minutes Volunteered Local Library
Emma 64 minutes Volunteered Local Library
I began the interviews with a brief outline of the study and then I moved on to the four
demographic questions to set up the scene and make them feel comfortable before
proceeding to the main questions. I did not ask the questions in a specific order in order
for the participants to feel the freedom to lead the narrative allowing a bit of spontaneity.
However, when a particular question was not covered, I would take it upon to myself and
in a respectful way I would add the question or any clarification question to elicit further
information. During the interviews, I observed potential non-verbal communication such
as participant’s body language, as it could help me gaining a greater understanding of
their stories during the analysis. At the end of the interview, I thanked the participants
and I asked them if they were still happy for me to include their data in my study. It is
60
noteworthy to mention that all of them asked me about my interest in the topic and if I
had any similar experiences. This will be further discussed on the reflective space at the
end of the chapter. Then after choosing a pseudonym of their preference, they were
happy to leave. The procedure details for each participant can be found on the Table 2
above.
Field notes
After each interview, once the participant left, I remained in the room where the
interview took place and I wrote field notes and my initial impressions, a process which is
recommended by qualitative researchers (Glesne, 2006). I created a template for writing
my field notes which included elements of ethnography and reflexivity (see Appendix I,
pg. 214). I created this template to write my observations of the interview setting and the
participants’ non-verbal communication (such as expressions, body language). I also
wrote initial broad themes that were derived from each question (see Appendix J for a
participant’s example, pg. 215). I also noted participants’ answers that struck me, any
biases and my own reflections. This process was a supplementary form of data collection
and it also helped me in the transcription process to include any non-verbal
communication details.
Transcription process
The interview transcription was verbatim and annotated using a simplified version of the
Jefferson coding system (Jefferson, 2004), (see Appendix K, pg. 218). This coding system
helped me to create a detailed analysis due to exploring patterns of nuances such as
small details of overlaps, word lengthening or emphases and other linguistic details that I
would have missed even with careful reading. Previous research suggests that data need
to be analysed in each original form to reveal more the participants’ voices and to shape
itself in a truer way (Holloway & Freswater, 2007). I also included non-verbal utterances
such as ‘hmm’, ‘yeah’ etc., and non-lexical sounds such as laugher, low speech, sighs to
provide richness in the data that would later help in my interpretation during the analysis
(Davidson, 2009).
All the interview recordings were transcribed by me to ensure that I was fully engaged
with and immersed in the data. I transcribed each interview separately before I moved to
the next interview to not get confused between the participants’ stories. Firstly, I listened
to the recording numerous times to familiarise myself with each narrative. Secondly, I
61
prepared a ‘rough transcript’ as Riessman (1993) advised, and the emphasis was to
remove any identifying details. Next, I listened more carefully the audio recording and I
focused to write all the words and correcting the first transcript. Each line of the
interview transcript was numbered and I added a large margin on the right side of the
text to add any comments (Crossley, 2000). The transcribing was a lengthy process as the
interviews lasted between 60 to 82 minutes. The transcripts contained much sensitive
and personal information consequently, none of the participants wanted me to include
an example of their transcript to the appendices therefore, to protect their
confidentiality, I respected their wish. Nevertheless, I have managed to carefully include a
considerable number of excerpts in the analysis chapter which should provide sufficient
indication. Finally, I decided to not share neither the transcripts nor the data analysis to
the participants prior to my thesis submission.
Data Analysis
Narrative approach rationale
In this section, I will first explain which model of narrative analysis I selected and then I
will demonstrate the process of the analysis and how I analysed the data. A variety of
different qualitative methodologies were considered for this study as they use language
as a focus of inquiry; including Discourse Analysis, Interpretive Phenomenological Analysis
(IPA), Grounded Theory, Thematic Analysis and Narrative Analysis. These approaches
differ in the importance they attribute to subjectivity and meaning. Discourse analysis
questions whether there is a real connection between language and the inner self, but –
in some versions - focuses on how the participant feels or thinks, as well as talks, about
the study’s topic (Crossley, 2000). In contrast, IPA attempts to identify, isolate and
formalise individuals’ stories with a main focus on hermeneutics (Crossley, 2000).
Grounded theory is useful for the researchers who would like to develop a new theory
based on their study’s findings (Crossley, 2000). Thematic analysis mainly focuses on
deductive reasoning and typically to test something or to confirm hypotheses (Crossley,
2000). With this analysis researchers often have ideas and knowledge from previous
literature of what may find in the content from a group of qualitative interviews.
Thematic analysis helps the researcher to state the main topics or ideas that an interview
turns out to be about (Crossley, 2000).
In contrast, narrative analysis uses an inductive approach to analyse raw data and to gain
better insights into how and even why topics or ideas are being presented (Crossley,
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2000). In other words, thematic analysis asks “what” and narrative analysis asks “why”
and “how”.
From all these approaches I have briefly presented, I found narrative analysis to be the
most suitable method for my study, as it seemed to help foreground new original
experiences in this area of study, using an inductive approach and focus and, by focusing
on people’s stories. It further helps me organise these stories in a way that their lives and
their storied accounts make sense and in what ways these storied accounts are functional
and purposeful (Figgou & Pavlopoulos, 2015).
There are different approaches to narrative analysis that will be further discussed in the
next section. What drew me to this type of analysis is the flexibility it gives to the
researcher on whether to pay attention to the narrative content or structure, with the
thematic version focusing on what is the story about, while the structural version focuses
on how a story is created to achieve specific communicative aims (Figgou & Pavlopoulos,
2015). People’s narratives reflect on their lives, interests and sense-making processes and
they have the ability to reconstruct people’s lives and the contexts in which they live
(Bold, 2012). Having this in mind, I thought about my research and the areas of self-
development and romantic relationships in relation to the narratives. I recognised that
narratives may provide an important role in understanding how individuals construct
their views, their characteristics that form their world and any potential influences. As a
result, for the purpose of this study, I decide to use a narrative approach to make sense
and explore the topic of self-development during the doctorate and romantic
relationships.
Narrative Analysis
As I described in a previous section, before I decided which model of narrative analysis
was suitable for my research’s aims and objectives, I familiarised myself with the various
models of narrative analysis and the different focuses and questions they offer to
researchers. Each model is shaped by different yet connected theoretical discussions.
More specifically, the Structural model (Labov, 1973) focuses on the structure of stories
and the ways in which stories are told. The Thematic model (Riessman, 2008) although
also focuses on the content of stories, the focus is on the themes around which stories
are told. The Interactional/Performative model (Denzin, 2001; Mishler, 1995; Riessman,
1993) focuses on the contextual features that shape the construction of narratives. It also
focuses on how the meaning is collaboratively created through interaction between
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storytellers and listeners (Riessman, 1993). It should be noted that there is no strict
guidance on how the researchers may use and apply these analytical models (Frost,
2009). Admittedly, this was a long process considering the fact that there is no ‘singular
or best way to define and study narrative’ (Hiles & Cermak, 2008, p. 151). While
researching these models and approaches I realised that there were many overlaps on
the interpretation of the narratives. I found this issue beneficial as it helped me to have a
greater understanding of the narrative research as a whole.
For the purpose of this study, I chose the Lieblich et al.’s (1998) interpretive model of
narrative analysis as the model fitted well with the aims of my study and it gave me the
opportunity to flexibly select the focus of my analysis based on different possibilities. In
contrast, I found the aforementioned models (structural, thematic and
interactional/performative) to be restrictive. This model also helped me to look different
possibilities and choose the focus for reading, interpreting and analysing my participants’
life stories (Lieblich et al., 1998).
This model includes two main independent dimensions: (a) holistic versus categorical
approaches and (b) content versus form. These two main dimensions resulting in a matrix
of four cells which consist of four models: (a) holistic-content, (b) categorical-content, (c)
holistic-form, (d) categorical-form (Lieblich et al., 1998). While searching which one of the
four models was most suitable for my research, I realised how each interpretive model’s
aspects would provide a completely different analysis and understanding of the data. My
initial choice was to choose the holistic-content interpretive model, as I initially wanted to
provide a holistic view each participant’s narrative separately. This model holds a holistic
view and maintains a global impression of the whole story, rather than dividing it into
thematic sections. Reading further about the holistic-content model, I found that this
model was suitable for a research with a life-story focus as the researcher who is able to
generate global impressions and major themes. In addition, this model focused on the
context of each narrative separately, rather than a person’s shared experience across
several interviews, a goal more analogous to the categorical analysis. Furthermore, my
study did not focus on exploring narrators’ early memories as a way to conquer the
overall pattern (Wells, 2011). Therefore, I realised that this model would not be able to
answer my research’s objectives and research questions.
For this research I chose the categorical-content interpretive model, as in my opinion, it
was the most comprehensive approach. According to Lieblich et al. (1998), a synthesis
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between content and form interpretive models can make the analysis more fruitful. As a
result, I have decided to add on the categorical-content model additional supportive
elements of form such as length, detail, intensity and emotional tonality of the
utterances. By creating main categories and subcategories on the analysis, this model
helped me to clearly portray participants’ views and to formulate a general understanding
on the topic, in the way that it was presented by the narrators (Bold, 2012). It is
important to mention that throughout the data analysis process, I was self-aware about
any interactions between ‘me as the researcher’ and the narrators and these are
discussed in the reflective space of this chapter. According to Riessman (1990), the
categorical-content model of narrative analysis emphasises the issue that the analysis is
disconnected from the whole experience of the narrator. To overcome this challenge, I
have managed to include both on this and the analysis chapter, participants’ biographical
accounts and a brief summary of their narrative (Earthy & Cronin, 2008).
Inductive approach of Narrative Analysis
For the purpose of this study, I used an inductive approach to analyse the data. This
means that I used raw data to derive potential concepts, categories and interpretations.
By using an inductive categorical-content model to analyse my data, it allowed me to
develop categories and subcategories based on the participants’ stories and not on any
predesigned ideas (Riessman, 2008). This approach also complements my constructivist-
subjectivist philosophical stance and the overall values I hold which influenced this study.
It was also suitable for this topic to bring new original experiences in this area, as there
are no previous research covering this topic and the goal of this research.
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Process of analysis
Table 3: Steps of analysis using the Categorical-Content model
Once I completed the transcription process, I began the process of analysis by reading
each transcript multiple times, to familiarise myself with the content. After re-reading the
transcripts I wrote comments next to the text which later helped me to identify any
common utterances. I then transferred all the transcripts to the NVivo software (12.6.0
version) to analyse my data. NVivo is used mainly by researchers in qualitative domains
(Bazeley & Jackson, 2013; Leech & Onwuegbuzie, 2011; Walsh, 2003). It has significant
benefits as the researchers can manage a large number of data more easily, identify
themes and later on create a relationship among generated themes faster than the
traditional method using paper copies (Dollah et al., 2017). I relied on this software
because the nine interviews I carried out had generated an overwhelming amount of
data. Therefore, I was able to assign the codes easier and more efficiently, because the
documents, code system and utterances of the participants’ narratives were visible on
the computer screen. Using my mouse, I was able to organise them into categories more
reliably.
Once I had uploaded all the transcripts to the NVivo, I moved on to the first stage of the
categorical-content model (see Table 3, pg. 65) in which I reread the transcripts, however
this time I electronically coded sentences and paragraphs that specifically related to the
study’s research questions (see Appendix L for example, pg. 219). These materials were
selected and acknowledged to form a subcategory as the content universe of this topic
Stage 1 - Selection of the subtext
Stage 2 - Definition of the content categories
Stage 3 - Sorting the material into categories
Stage 4 - Drawing Conclusions from the Results
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(Lieblich et al., 1998). Meaningful utterances that appeared to be less relative to the
research questions were not ignored, but instead they were placed into a separate
category on NVivo, as they could be used at a later stage to further enhance the analysis.
After completing the electronic coding process, I compared the codes I had originally
assigned to the hard-copy transcripts with the codes I had assigned electronically. I
noticed that most of the codes were congruent in both types of coding. After completing
the analysis of each interview, I moved on to the second stage in which the selected
codes (several hundreds) were grouped into different units, a process related with the
next stage of organising the materials into categories. Then attention was given to
grouping these subtexts into subcategories relevant to the research questions (see
Appendix M, pg. 227). These subcategories were continuously developed from the
existing ones all the way through the organising process. Moving on to the third stage, I
created three main categories with their subcategories (see Appendix N, pg. 246). Finally,
in the fourth stage, the contents that were collected in each category were used to
formulate a picture of all the narrators’ similar experiences in accordance to the research
questions. I also discussed these categories with my academic supervisor, who supported
the themes I have chosen.
Part four: Evaluation of Methodology and Ethical Considerations
Reliability and Validity in narrative research
Trustworthiness
Trustworthiness is a very important quality within the qualitative research as it is related
to the concept of validity (Morrow, 2005; Riessman, 2008). Validity and reliability are a
major subject in qualitative research as it seeks to find the ‘absolute truth’ which it is not
the case in narrative research which mainly concentrates mostly on the rigour and
credibility of the study (Riessman, 2008). Therefore, the focus on this study is to validate
the narrators’ experiences and how these co-constructed their realities (Mishler, 1990).
This study will follow Yardley’s (2000) validity and quality criteria that are broadly used in
qualitative research.
For the purposes of this study, I decided to use the conception of bracketing, which is a
process of self-discovery which helps the researcher to be aware of his emotions and
experiences throughout all the steps of the study (Drew, 2004). There are a variety of
ways which a researcher may pursue to bracket his or her influence on the construction
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of knowledge (Ahern, 1999). Finlay and Gough (2008) made a connection between
bracketing and reflexive practices in qualitative psychology, as the ability for a researcher
to bracket is a matter of how reflexive one can be instead of trying to be objective.
According to Ahern (1999, p. 408), “the process of bracketing is therefore an iterative,
reflexive journey that entails preparation, action, evaluation, and systematic feedback
about the effectiveness of the process”. Therefore, to achieve this, throughout this
research project, I kept a diary to record my emotions and thoughts, I kept field notes for
each of the participants right after the interview process and I also had discussions with
my supervisor for every stage of this study (Glesne, 2006).
Sensitivity to contexts
Sensitive to contexts was demonstrated in several ways. I was aware of the existing
literature on counselling psychology doctorate and romantic relationships, and on the
methods, I used (Yardley, 2000). This has been evident throughout the literature
reviewed and the methodology chapter in which I stated my ontological and
epistemological position. Moreover, previous research highlighted the importance of the
researcher being aware of the socio-cultural setting of the study and how this may have
influenced narrators’ expectations and views (Yardley, 2000). This was achieved by
presenting my sensitivity to contexts in the reflexivity chapter and in the reflective
sections across the chapters. Furthermore, the narrators’ data was safely collected and
stored in an encrypted folder on my laptop following the ethical guidelines.
Commitment and Rigour
Throughout the whole process of this research, I was devoted to offer a high standard of
research. More specifically, Smith, Flower and Larkin (2009, p. 181) stated that
‘commitment will be shown in the degree of attentiveness to the participant during data
collection and the care with which the analysis of each case is carried out’. This was
evident in this research as I treated the narrators with empathy and care using active
listening skills throughout the data collection process. I was also rigorous at times when
further probing was needed during the interviews which led to the emergence of some
interesting findings. Participants were also informed that they could withdraw from the
study at any stage of this research. In the analysis section, all the categories and
subcategories were supported from narrators’ excerpts. In addition, I had regular
meetings with my research supervisor throughout the process of the study to discuss
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about ideas and any difficulties occurred throughout this process (Whittemore et al.,
2001).
Transparency
Yardley (2000) emphasises the importance of researcher’s transparency throughout the
qualitative research. In the methodology chapter I presented my philosophical stance and
the reasons behind it. I also gave details in the main text and appendices on how this
research was conducted in order for the readers to be able to follow the process of my
research. Furthermore, as I mentioned before throughout my research, I remained
transparent by documenting my reflections on my thoughts and the challenges I have
been throughout the whole research process. I also remained transparent and
acknowledged my study’s limitations and what could be different under different
circumstances. The people who helped me in this research were also acknowledged.
Impact and importance
Impact and importance are the contribution of the research findings to the theoretical
knowledge and its practical implications. This study is significantly relevant to the
counselling psychology division. In the discussion chapter I dedicated a large section to
clinical implications and contribution to knowledge. The findings of this research will be a
guide for prospective students so they can be provided with a realistic idea of what to
expect when entering the doctorate and how it may affect their romantic relationship. In
addition, this study may be helpful for training institutions which can take these ideas
further and put in place provisions for support to help students avoid difficult situations. I
hope that this study will be seen of importance to higher education generally and relating
to theories of self-transformation and self-development via higher education.
Ethical issues
Ethical approval was obtained from the University of Manchester Ethics Committee prior
to the recruitment of participants (see Appendix O, pg. 248). Further approval from any
external agencies was not required. I followed the British Psychological Society’s Code of
Human Research Ethics (2014) and the Health and Care Professions Council Standards of
Proficiency for practitioner Psychologists (2016). The ethical practices and ethical codes
allowed me to think through several matters throughout my research process. More
specifically, I treated all the participants with respect and dignity and I tried to build a
trusting relationship, in that I was non-judgmental, emotionally responsive and tolerant. I
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also made sure before each interview to provide the participants with the information
sheet and consent form and I gave them time to read the details of the study. For
confidentiality, all the transcribed documents were kept in encrypted files. I also gave
them the choice to select a pseudonym of their preference to increase anonymity. Finally,
my training in counselling psychology has equipped me with the necessary skills to be
aware and deal with any difficult situation during the interviews in case any of my
participants experienced emotional distress during the interview process. In this case, I
offered them contact numbers of local services that they could contact to get any further
psychological support if needed.
Researcher’s Reflections
When I started this research project, I was conscious of my own assumptions relating to
the topic, the choices I made regarding the research paradigm, research strategies, and
the stages I followed in the data collection and data analysis.
Regarding the recruitment process, I was concerned as only two men took part in my
study and I felt that I might be missing some gender elements important to the research
topic. After having a conversation with some of my tutors and my research supervisor,
they assured me that two men out of nine participants is a reasonable ratio due to the
minority of men in the counselling psychology profession.
Furthermore, as it was the first time I contacted semi-structured interviews, I found the
process quite fascinating. I took the decision to travel to many cities across the UK and
meet the participants in person and then conduct the interviews. I chose this option
instead of Skype because I felt it would be much easier for the participant to have a face-
to-face contact with the researcher and at the same time being in a familiar and
comfortable place. I was not stressed at all, as I was well prepared from the pilot study I
have conducted previous to the interviews. I met some admirable people willing to take
part in my study and share their personal experiences. The only difficulty I experienced
during the interviews was when the participants gave short answers to some of my
questions and I had to ask some prompt questions to help them proceed with their
narratives and enrich their response. All the participants mentioned at the start of the
interview that my research topic was not explored before and this was a shame as it
could have helped a lot of trainees before they started the doctoral journey. They also
asked me to share with them the final version of the thesis as they were interested to
have a full picture of the findings and any similarities with other participants. This made
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me feel honoured and blessed that I met them, and that they appreciated what I was
doing. It also enhanced my confidence in exploring such as special and personal topic.
Surprisingly, I met some of my participants again months after our initial meeting in
several conferences or professional gatherings. I could not stop my curiosity and I asked
about their progress and how things were progressing in their romantic relationship. I
was interested to know that they had had further development in both personal level and
in their relationship. This made me realise that the narratives during the interviews are
unique constructs and realities that in a different day or time, the responses could be
different.
One of the biggest issues I faced in my research was the transcribing process. I had never
completed semi-structured interviews and it was the first time I had to transcribe such
long recordings. When I started the process, I realised that I was typing very slowly and
that made me feel frustrated, therefore the whole process took longer than I expected.
All the interviews were more than 60 minutes long and the initial transcription time for
each one was on average 7 hours. l then listened to each transcript one more time and I
added details of the form interpretive model (Lieblich et al., 1998). After having a
conversation with my classmates and supervisor they assured me that this was a normal
pace and I felt more optimistic.
Regarding anonymity and confidentiality, as I mentioned in the methods section, the
participants had the opportunity to choose a pseudonym of their preference. Previous
research has shown that when a researcher gives the opportunity to participants to
choose a pseudonym, it’s a respectful way of inviting ownership and input into the
research process (Lee & Hume-Pratuch, 2013). I was surprised that almost all the
participants selected names either related to favourite movies and cultural backgrounds.
Interestingly, none of them selected what appeared to me to be a completely random or
meaningless pseudonym. One participant chose a Greek name as a way to express her
gratitude for taking part in my study and another one chose a name that she said
expressed her personality more than her real name.
Chapter Summary
In this chapter, I have explained my ontological and epistemological stance and how it has
impacted this research. I also explained and justified my preference for qualitative over
the quantitative research method. I also presented details about narrative inquiry and my
thoughts on why I selected the categorical-content interpretive model as a method of
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narrative analysis. In addition, this chapter has included details of the methods I followed
to recruit the participants, data collection and data analysis. The quality criteria I chose by
which to assess the quality of the present study were also included. Finally, some
thoughts and reflections encountered during the methodological process were also
included in this chapter.
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Chapter 4: Analysis
Overview
This chapter outlines the multi-faceted process of analysing data utilising a categorical-
content approach (Lieblich et al., 1998). This analysis aims to explore the narrators’ self-
development and gain a better understanding of the doctorate’s impact on their romantic
relationship and their own self-development. The analysis formed part of a detailed
process which included careful reading, sorting the excerpts into subcategories and the
creation of categories. The narratives collected from the interviews were co-constructed
between myself, as a researcher/interviewer, and the participants. Therefore, the analysis
of the participants’ narratives was based on my interpretations, assumptions and beliefs,
which, are further explored and explained in my reflections at the end of this chapter.
I will present a brief overview of each participant. The analysis will illustrate the three
main categories with their subcategories which emerged from the interviews. The
findings are discussed with the use of narrators’ excerpts to further support their
significance. The presented excerpts are formed according to a simplified version of the
Jefferson coding system to aid further the analysis (Jefferson, 2004).
Summary of the participants’ narratives
In the previous chapter, I provided the basic information for the nine participants who
took part in the semi-structured interviews. I will start this chapter with a brief overview
and overall impressions from each participant’s interview. To remind the reader, the
names that are used in this research are the participants’ selected pseudonyms.
1) Amelia
Amelia’s narrative began in a particularly reflective tone when considering her
experiences during her doctoral training. Her tone was calm and, in some instances
nostalgic. She appeared to enjoy the interview experience as she freely expressed her
thoughts. Amelia also gesticulated while she was expressing her thoughts and emotions.
She mentioned self-development during her training, and how this led her to lose herself
and explained the quest of finding her new self. Amelia also expressed the stressors she
experienced and the enormous impact on her romantic relationship.
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2) Lily
Lily’s narrative mainly focused on self-development and her concerns whether the
training would negatively influence her romantic relationship. She was friendly and talked
with enthusiasm which was expressed with a brightness in her eyes. She talked about
personal therapy, as a way to cope with personal issues, and the positive impact it had on
her self-development. Lily also talked about how the doctorate had helped her to explore
her personal identity, but she became self-conscious as she started analysing everything.
She expressed that her partner was very supportive during her doctorate and that he had
helped her to focus. The overall experience of the doctorate had a positive impact on her
romantic relationship.
3) Donna
Donna was slightly nervous throughout the interview, and she played with her fingers
most of the time. Donna’s narrative highlighted the significance of her personal
development and her progression of an awareness of thoughts and feelings towards
herself and others. She shared a feeling of being overwhelmed while writing her thesis.
With regard to her romantic relationship, she talked about a normal progression as there
was no time to deal with any difficulties. However, after finishing the doctorate, she
realised that her preferences in a romantic relationship changed resulting from her self-
development.
4) Nicole
Nicole’s narrative provided a different perspective to the rest of the participants. She
described her doctoral journey as being full of positive experiences and helping her to
develop her personality traits. She talked positively about the course elements and she
realised that throughout the thesis write-up her values and authenticity were reflected.
Nicole shared that having a stable relationship before the beginning of the doctorate was
a significant factor for her. Her partner was very supportive and keen to learn about her
learning experiences. She expressed her partner helped with chores and family, and this
gave her the space to focus on her studies.
5) Sophia
Sophia described her time as very stressful and negative, as she had to deal with many
challenges. Sophia shared that the doctorate helped her to become more reflective both
in her personal life and clinical practice. Her narrative mainly focused on her development
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in her emotional intelligence and communication skills. After finishing her doctorate, she
realised that her partner did not satisfy these attributes and she decided to break-up with
him.
6) Paul
Paul described enormous self-development after starting his doctorate. He talked about
his career change due to his interest in psychology. Paul talked about the negative
challenges he experienced. He gave a very interesting and detailed description on how his
romantic relationship had developed during his training. However, he also talked about
the negative impact that the doctorate had on his relationship.
7) Rosie
Rosie’s narrative mainly concentrated on coping strategies and self-development. She
talked about the main qualities and skills she developed. Rosie’s narrative highlighted her
financial difficulties conflicting with her need for independence. She also described that
she became more mindful of time and she ensured that she always devoted time to her
partner. She also shared that through meaningful conversations, her partner became
more open to express his feelings and this was a positive development in their
relationship.
8) Patrick
Patrick shared his decision to move to the UK with his partner to start his doctoral
journey. He further elaborated on the challenges and how the training impacted on his
relationship. His story mainly focused on the lack of time and the communication
restrictions within the relationship due to his clinical work. Patrick noted that his partner
also experienced self-development, noting the only difference was that she would not get
an award for it.
9) Emma
Emma described her overall journey as a positive experience. She also shared about her
new interests in global awareness, religion and having interest only in meaningful
activities and conversations. She discussed her partner’s emotional and practical
sacrifices which he had made for their relationship to help her focus and complete her
training. She further talked about her partner’s self-development and she referred to the
difficulties experienced in her intimate life due to challenging client presentations.
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Analysis of the narrative accounts
Three major categories emerged from the data: 1) Developing academic and clinical
practice experiences as the foundation for self-development, 2) The doctorate’s negative
and positive impacts on the romantic relationship and 3) Self-development and its impact
on the romantic relationship. The analysis was organised into three main categories with
two to three subcategories (see Figure 2 below). The reason for arranging the excerpts
into subcategories was to capture the richness and variety of the text.
Figure 1: Thematic map of the three main categories and subcategories.
Content categories
1. Developing academic and clinical practice experiences as the foundation for self-
development
The scene was set by inviting the narrators to share their development throughout their
doctoral journey which led to their potential self-development. This category
demonstrated participants’ self-development, enhanced experiences and challenges
through their personal, academic and clinical practice (See Figure 3 below). This category
consists of two subcategories that will be analysed below.
Figure 2: NVivo screenshot of the subcategories of the major category ‘Developing
academic and clinical practice experiences as the foundation for self-development’
Self-developing process leads to enhancing experiences
The narrators appeared to define their self-development as a fairly ‘huge’ experience, and
they identified many challenges faced during this process. All of them attempted to list
their enhanced personal attributes, values, goals, and how their experiences, some of
them challenging, influenced their behaviour towards themselves and others. Focusing on
these elements, the narrators began to connect with a variety of terms that were used to
gain access to their own development.
Paul began by sharing that he had experienced growth in many areas in his life due to
multiple professional stimuli. He felt that growth was inevitable during the doctorate. He
continued to reveal that the most important part of his growth, through learning and
practice, was that the doctorate, enhanced his understanding of thoughts, feelings and
behaviours.
You know I understand myself a lot better. You learn so much you grow so much you know. Paul (3:104)
Similarly, Emma felt the need to share that the nature and length of this doctorate,
influenced her life ‘significantly’. Her tone was exhilarated which I appraised as an
invitation to share her experience on personal growth.
I think I think this course has <changed my life significantly> And when I say my life I mean my personal growth. Emma (3:118)
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All participants mentioned the influence of the doctorate on their personal attributes.
More specifically, four narrators expressed that their doctoral training introduced them
to mindfulness and spirituality, which helped them to slow down their thoughts and stay
present. Speaking in a somewhat reflective tone, Nicole stated:
But also the course when you're looking at spirituality we did the emotion freedom... That I don't think I would have been erm exposed to otherwise specially the energy of them the freedom the emotional freedom technique and that has a huge impact on me. Nicole (8:281)
Similarly, Paul identified a nurturing quality which he interpreted as growth ‘on an
existential level’, his hopes and what was important in his life. Paul appeared comfortable
in sharing this, as conveyed though his soft tone.
I think for me the biggest growth is on an existential level… I guess on a personal level on a human level I would say there's been so much growth for me in terms of who I am and what I aspire to… I think I have a lot more clarity about that. Paul (2:51)
Another element that appeared to be shared was the mandatory personal therapy. Two
participants provided a particularly animated account of their experience, illustrating in
their own way a need to explore themselves, their thoughts and feelings. Sophia added
another dimension which was the development of skills to manage personal issues:
It only not changed the way I understood my problems and issues or dynamics and not only influenced the way that I understood the ways it was developed but it also changed how I dealt to them. Sophia (3:95)
Donna also presented an equally positive view, a means to reflection and self-awareness:
In the counselling room to be aware of what reactions belong to me what reactions belong to the person… What are my blind spots or what other things that I notice in other people. Donna (8:277)
Instead of personal therapy solely, Patrick views the overall course as an opportunity for
reflexivity:
The ability to reflect upon others. That's huge … It's like someone turned the light on … Almost like you're wandering in the dark. You're trying to understand what's going on around you… I think this course gives you the skills… to kind of find a light bulb and turn it on. Patrick (2:53)
Seven of the narrators expressed that during their doctoral training, they enhanced their
values, personal goals and habits. Patrick, by exploring a new direction in his life,
described a fascinating journey that was defined by him as ‘a passion’, which implied
finding meaning in his life and personal fulfilment.
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In terms of my development I think I'm more… passionate about what I'm doing. which. at times. I think was missing… This is giving me direction. It's given me a passion. Paul (2:65)
Two participants acknowledged the necessity of self-care practices into personal and
professional life. For example, Rosie mentioned:
Self-care was a good one. Really good personal growth and I think that. it kind of seeps into any other area of life. Rosie (2:56)
In the same context, Paul stated ‘the doctorate forced me to do that’ meaning the self-
care practice, to ‘survive’ the doctorate. He described a process of an enormous
development through self-care as a coping strategy to protect himself during this
academic journey.
So I'm much more able to take care of myself but there's still room for more growth… in terms of meaningful to me but also into importance in terms of you know surviving the doctorate almost quite literally. Paul (2:47)
Four narrators reflected on developing some helpful skills to manage their stress and
anxiety, which they identified a lack of those skills before starting the doctorate. Donna
stated:
I guess one thing that changed a lot and almost certainly because of the training is how I deal with stress and anxiety. Donna (5:158)
It appeared as Donna despite her stress, she developed better skills to deal with anxiety
which provided her with a sense of control and confidence to overcome stressful
situations.
All narrators expressed that during the doctorate they developed a better and enhanced
insight about others. This was described as both helpful and disturbing. More specifically,
Amelia referred to how her friends expected her to relate to them, after starting the
doctorate:
I'm a friend but also a psychology therapist which I must have some kind of a solution for them… I find that I need to keep these boundaries like I cannot be a therapist within my personal relationships... It's not only changes that I've developed to have. It's also changes that I perceive coming from other people. Amelia (2:62)
Her new awareness of others’ expectations led her describing a dual identity within her
friendships. Patrick appeared to share Amelia’s experience, nevertheless, he located the
difficulty of differentiating the two roles as deriving from within, rather than opposed by
friends.
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Really leave the psychologist on the side you know because well you learn some… communication skills of course when you're going to communicate with your friends… even when you say no I'm not counselling you… I can't claim that it doesn’t have any influence. Patrick (5:189)
In contrast, enhanced experiences within the family unit were evident in three
participants’ narratives. Nicole explained that the doctorate had a diverse impact on her
family relationships, and referred to transparency. Speaking in a forceful tone, she stated:
But if I see it I would say it. Which makes them also very open and transparent… They are very happy to talk about when they need help when they feel low when they are anxious. They're very open about their emotions in the family. Nicole (7:248)
Contrary to Nicole’s narrative, two participants found these new skills as a barrier to
family relationships. More specifically, Lily expressed her disappointment when she
shared all about her doctorate experiences or other psychological issues and they seemed
indifferent. In an objective tone, she stated:
They sometimes glaze over when I talk about it… If I sort of start thinking deeply and talking about stuff I look around and I think OK that's all they need to know (laugh). Lily (10:384)
Lily seemed discouraged to expand on her doctorate with her family. Likewise, Emma
appeared to think that her world view changed, which her family rebutted:
I sometimes struggle to understand them but I feel that that gap has opened between how other people see the world and you know how they perceive the world and how I perceive the world. Emma (2:60)
It seems clear that participants’ new knowledge, traits and habits brought mixed feelings
towards them. Although, these enhanced skills strengthened family bonds, family
members also identified difficulties in following participants’ enhanced knowledge which
ended in a gap between them. Additionally, all the narrators referred to the challenges
they experienced because of the demands of the doctorate. Three participants
experienced distress and self-doubting which, led to feelings of insecurity. For example,
Sophia expressed distress regarding the lack of personal time. Her concerned tone
conveyed how worried she was about her capabilities due to the doctorate’s structure.
Some of the doctorate experiences really damaged me. It really damaged my confidence and I think being in a system where there was always too much work to do and not a lot of time to do it and. it. really knocks your belief in yourself… That's kind of the assumption that you should be able to achieve that but actually without being superhuman you can't. Sophia (110:537)
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Personal growth seemed to produce feelings of loneliness. For example, Amelia’s
narrative demonstrated a view that being in the doctorate led to personal growth
through which she could understand the human experience. She also noted the state of
loneliness which resulted from her growth:
There is growing and sometimes I worry because of that because we feel too lonely in a way that… nice to have this knowledge but on the other hand it almost feels like you have that kind of understanding that people don't have. And then it makes you become more. Lonely in a way. Amelia (3:88)
Emma clarified the difference between post-traumatic and vicarious post-traumatic
growth and located her doctoral experience within vicarious post-traumatic growth:
I can definitely relate to that to that vicarious post-traumatic growth. that you gain through the doctorate in counselling psychology. Emma (3:93)
Amelia mentioned that during her doctoral training, she somewhat lost her old self and
described a process of seeking a new self. For example:
I will give the space that I need to find myself after the course because I think you lose yourself somewhere in the middle and the pressure and the expectations for the thesis it is another factor which doesn’t let you become the person you are supposed to become. Amelia (10:380)
These examples provide a grounding to what follows, and demonstrate how the positive
and negative development of participants has led to their overall self-development.
Consequently, this may have influenced their romantic relationships. I will now move on
to the next subcategory which is focused on the narrators’ development with regard to
academic and clinical practice experiences.
Academic and clinical practice experiences: Development, Challenges and Future Concerns
In their attempt to construct an understanding of their self-development, all the narrators
described their academic and clinical practice experiences as leading to an awareness,
confidence and sense of achievement. They also described the challenges and barriers
during their doctorate and later in their career.
Case discussions, which are an important component of the doctorate training, seemed
to be a way of constant engagement and growth. For example, these helped Nicole to
understand clients’ issues in different ways. As her story unfolded, she described that by
listening to her classmates, the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ notions in her practice were eradicated.
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It takes away this huge sense of right and wrong. There's not a right way to approach a client. and I think again that actually helps your self-confidence in therapy as well. When you actually realize you know that everybody does it differently… That gives you huge scope for growth as well. Nicole (17:654)
Interestingly, for Paul, becoming a ‘Doctor’ seemed to be a very powerful element
regarding his professional identity. Speaking in a reflective and assertive tone, he stated:
I've learned that is also important. You know in terms of my professional erm I work in a multidisciplinary team and it's important <for my role> that I use this title properly… It's important for the team that I'm a doctor. Paul (6:220)
Paul’s excerpt conveyed an attachment of power to the role of the ‘Doctor’ which
appears to derive both from Paul’s perception of his ‘new me’ but also from other
professionals’ view of his new title.
Similar to this, three participants expressed a sense of gratitude for all the effort they put
on complying with the doctorate’s academic and clinical demands. Nicole explicitly
mentioned that she developed higher self-esteem because of completing the doctorate
and receiving other people’s praises.
So greater self-esteem... that huge buzz at the end of coming out and saying you know what I did. I don't know what's ahead of me but. I suspect there probably won't be another challenge (.3) like that. Nicole (2:57)
Nicole’s self-esteem development seemed to be accompanied by a sense of others’
acceptance. Her overall reflections as a qualified counselling psychologist expressed
satisfaction and pride for overcoming the doctorate’s challenges.
An interesting topic that arose from all the participants’ interviews was the appreciation
of their improved skills and self-awareness during their clinical practice, especially
regarding acknowledging similar personal experiences. For Lily, learning the limitations of
bringing her ‘self’ in therapy was presented as an essential part of her learning experience
during her therapeutic work with clients:
If there was something a bit comparative in the couples counselling that goes on… I needed to make sure that you know I wasn't bringing my own stuff in… there was a bit of work that it had to be done in terms for me in working in that way. Lily (12:441)
Similarly, Donna perceived shared experiences as interfering with her professional
practice:
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And I'd probably start crying (laugh)… just being a container for the other person's emotions... I would be spinning already that… I wouldn't be able to hold it... the professional decision staying out of clinical practice for now. Donna (14: 558)
In contrast, Sophia found empathising and reflecting back easier when she shared similar
experiences:
To help someone to feel like I'm moving them forward I feel like I need to be on the same page with them… to be able to empathise with them. And I think the way that I am able to hold that mirror to somebody is if I recognised in their story something that I've been through myself and it's something that I've processed myself then I can offer not necessarily the story of my life to them… I can offer something from that experience to them. Sophia (12:466)
Although clinical practice was challenging for most of the participants, two narrators
expressed fears about effective academic performance. For example, Amelia shared her
initial overwhelming impressions about her doctoral course and questioned her own
capabilities. In a sceptical tone she stated:
I remember going through the postgraduate week the first week and yeah they were talking all about these different kind of experiences that the PhD students had. And listening to their stories. I was overwhelmed and I thought {oh my god Am I at the right place. Am I. Am I going to <succeed> on this experience (?)}. Amelia (4:159)
Furthermore, barriers to effective academic performance were also noted, such as the
frustration narrators felt due to the way they were treated by their course faculty or their
clinical supervisors. For example, Lily stated:
It was harder to reach tutors and I could say I had so much work on and there were things that impacted that then, I'd find it a bit infantilising. And that was difficult for me as an older student that to be in where you were and treated a bit like a baby. And I didn't enjoy that at all… I had to sort of manage it really. Lily (3:112)
Lily perceived her supervisors’ behaviour as being unavailable to support her and this
situation left her with feelings of frustration.
Subsequently, three narrators shared concerns about their future practice due to lack of
confidence. Sophia stated:
My supervisor has been really critical about my work. erm. really affected my confidence. And I do not feel I came out of the doctorate as a confident practitioner. Sophia (14:558)
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For Sophia, having a critical supervisor affected her self-esteem and future clinical
practice. Likewise, Amelia shared her experience:
That emotional heart-breaking moment. Not having any choice other than to put a mask and do your work… it did not have an impact on my clients. It backfired on me… it adds more stress. And more (.1) unhealthy feelings it adds on your anxiety… it has a very negative impact on your well-being. Amelia (10:368)
Amelia’s excerpt seemed to contain a powerful message reflecting on her experience. She
recognised that having a personal issue with her partner and seeing clients the next day
was a very difficult task for her to manage. Even though she noted that she did not allow
this issue to impact the session, this form of suppression caused her more anxiety and
distress.
Lily contributed her dilemma of sharing personal experiences with clients. Her stance
seemed to change over time:
I guess I felt like I had to completely compartmentalize everything and not be myself and just be a therapist at that time. And then she (her supervisor) was sort of suggesting that being ourselves might be more useful in a way not bringing in our own stuff… but it might be okay to get emotional about something as a human. Lily (11:418)
These beliefs were challenged after having a conversation with her clinical supervisor, she
realised that it might be helpful to sometimes just be herself, as long as she benefits the
client.
To summarise, it appears evident that participants experienced self-development
immediately after entering and throughout the doctorate process. This self-development
enabled them to enhance their personal attributes, values and goals and to better
develop coping strategies during challenging times. Their accounts revealed that the
doctoral journey was difficult not only at a personal level but also at an academic and a
clinical one.
2. The doctorate’s negative and positive impacts on the romantic relationship
After sharing their self-development processes, the narrators engaged in a discussion
around the doctorate and its impact on their romantic relationships, with the majority of
them sharing mostly negative experiences (See Figure 4 below).
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Figure 3: NVivo screenshot of the subcategories of the major category ‘The doctorate’s
negative and positive impacts on the romantic relationship’
The doctorate’s negative influences on their romantic relationship
Descriptions of negative influences varied amongst narrators, such as time constraints,
communication issues and difficulties on the course. Participants shared their own
understanding of how their romantic relationship was transformed or impacted by their
doctoral training, including a variety of thoughts and emotions.
Four narrators described hearing stories that break ups were common within the
department. The main reason for this appeared to be the potential changes caused by
their self-development. This situation left them feeling worried, and even ‘horrified’
about their relationship and demonstrated fear to lose their other half. For example, Lily
in a very concerned tone stated:
One thing I heard at the start of my doctorate from another lecturer was that you know you're probably gonna end up splitting up. Most people divorce during their doctorates and yet I was <completely horrified> to hear that… It did stay in my mind for the whole of my life because I knew that there would be huge change... I would need support and I couldn't guarantee I was gonna be the same person coming out the other end. Lily (8:285)
Lily described her concern about breaking-up with her husband and her anxiety that she
would not be the same person after completing the doctorate as a consequence to the
self-development. Similarly, Paul expressed his fear if his relationship would survive the
doctorate:
And so sometimes I thought oh my God are we going to survive this doctorate (?)… I'm not sure whether it's a fact but I've heard that actually the doctorate it can also be a real challenge and the training can cut a few relationships break up… but I was more worried about after. Paul (10:387)
Interestingly, he was more worried about his relationship after the doctorate than during
it. On account of throughout the doctorate, he was busy with the doctorate’s
commitments, and by the time he would meet these responsibilities, he would have to
deal with unresolved relationship issues. Likewise, Amelia with a distressing tone,
described her experience.
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°The course came out°… It was like a tsunami kind of experience into my life and into my relationship with my partner… because you are with your partner you talk about things you're more yourself with your partner so he gets all the bad things as well… It's interesting to think about my course as a tsunami. Amelia (7:255)
Amelia used a powerful metaphor to emphasise the significant challenges that she faced,
which also inevitably influenced her partner. She then continued her narrative in a
nostalgic tone, referring specifically to the loss of her caring nature towards her partner:
It's that relationship that is really important and I haven't given that kind of nurturing kind of self… Stress anxiety and all the rest replaced that kind of caring and loving nature that I have. And that's a shame, a shame because it's not me so I'm giving all that attention to my patients. I'm giving that self to them. And it's almost like you're <drained after that> to give it to the loved ones. Amelia (7:263)
It appeared that Amelia blamed herself for being unable to continue being a nurturing
person, repeating the word ‘shame’ twice. She demonstrated a sense of regret due to her
awareness that she was giving all the mental energy she had got, to her patients. As her
story proceeded, she attempted to give a detailed view on why she found it difficult to
focus on her romantic relationship:
It's a combination of everything that makes it very difficult. If I would only see my patients and go home things might be different but having the course the pressures the expectations… SoPs. And client logs and signatures and supervision reports and assessment continuous assessment in your course in your work. All that is <too much> for someone to be <sane and have a wonderful and healthy relationship>. Amelia (7:271)
Amelia seemed to be aware and acceptant of the potential difficulties on her relationship
due to responsibilities being ‘too much’. As a result, she implied losing her ‘sanity’ which
could be considered as a strong statement.
All narrators perceived the doctorate as a stressful, tiring and overloading experience that
led them to be almost always unavailable, not only towards their partner but the rest of
their social circle. Paul described that it was difficult to keep social connections as he was
busy and focused on the doctorate. In his narrative, he mentioned struggling being
empathic and understand his partner’s point of view:
I was just so engrossed in my work that (.) It's only when we had a conflict that I would really see his side. I guess I just didn't have the time or the mental space to see things from his point of view you know on a regular basis anymore… Yeah I was just juggling too many balls… but unless it's a crisis I'm just you know. You're just preoccupied and too
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busy and that's you know it's not great, I don't particularly like that but I must admit I think that's a fair reflection on how I was. Paul (12:453)
Reflecting back on this experience Paul with a griming tone of voice admitted that this
behaviour had an enormous impact on his romantic relationship. Emma described herself
as being immersed in the doctorate, and a sense of loss attributed to her husband.
I recognised the simple thing which was that I was engaged in something that consumed my life. And my husband was not the priority… we got distanced, while I really got distant from him… you know <there was love and this passion and everything>. And then once the course started he lost his wife because you know I was busy all the time. I probably did not notice this that much. Whereas he knew that you know this is a sacrifice that we have to go through. Emma (6:226)
Emma realised that this period of time may have proved to be a very difficult time for her
husband as according to Emma’s perception, he felt that he ‘lost his wife’. By using the
phrase ‘consumed my life’, she appeared to highlight the frustration she experienced as a
result of the doctoral commitments. A similar situation was apparent within Paul’s
narrative, who in an animative and derisive tone, stated that distance was created due to
the course:
We reached a point where I was literally just doing my doctorate on me. And you know he was independent to do his own stuff. But by that, I think we've definitely reached the coastline where you know it's just like. {Who are you?}. (laugh). Paul (12:471)
In the above excerpt Paul shared that both him and his partner were occupied, and it
seemed that their lack of time grew them apart. Paul used humour to see the silver lining
in the situation described, however, a dissatisfaction is perhaps implied by the humorous
tone.
One narrator, in his attempt to protect his relationship but also prioritise the course,
found ways to include his partner in their everyday routine by being adjustable:
Being flexible. Is something that I think we've had to develop as a relationship throughout through this period… Where you have this plan to do this or to get money this way or do whatever. Things faltered. Plans happened. And commitments for placements or assessments that kinda takes over… I was calling it a bargaining with her so I can't do that now but we will do this instead. Patrick (9:330)
In an attempt to maintain his relationship and not to exclude his partner from his
academic life, Patrick decided to accept the busy life of the doctorate and shape his
relationship around it. He found an interesting way of “bargaining” with his partner and if
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he was unavailable, then they would endeavour finding alternative ways of achieving the
primary goal, being together.
An interesting topic which resided in five interviews was the shared worry due to the
nature of the clinical placements. More specifically, Emma in a defensive tone shared her
partner’s agony and worry of her working in a prison setting:
My husband may sometimes be worried If I work in danger settings like in prison and places like that… But I still do it. So it doesn't have any impact although he would prefer me not to work in places where I might be at risk. Emma (11:434)
Emma acknowledged her husband’s worries around her physical safety, nevertheless she
appeared confident to commit to the doctoral opportunities. In a distressing tone she
went on saying:
I'm accomplished I am intelligent I have the skill and I have a good career. And he couldn't do these things because he had to provide for us. So he stopped his life while I did my course so now I am finished… as a man I think he feels that {well she's done a lot of things, what did I do?}… that's something that we try to work on together we both recognise that you know this is what his thoughts are and that's not necessarily a healthy way of thinking. Emma (12:476)
Emma was aware of her husband’s financial sacrifice so that she could achieve her own
goals. Furthermore, Emma raised the issue of gender stereotypes, which is a burning
social issue until today.
Furthermore, two participants mentioned that their partners wanted being needed
within the relationship and therefore, due to the participants’ tight schedules, this need
was met. It appeared that relational difficulties emerged when the participants
completed the doctoral commitments. This was articulated by Nicole:
I think he actually resented no longer being needed a little bit. I think. That being needed. I went away too quickly… But it had an impact on him. It had an impact on his self-esteem. Because suddenly I was taking away… that need to be needed. Nicole (13:511)
All participants shared that since starting their clinical placements, they had to comply
with the ethics and rules of the HCPC, mainly, confidentiality. For example, Patrick in an
uncomfortable tone stated:
Yeah it can be difficult... Saying you've had a bad day. It doesn't really explain why you have a bad day. Or if you've got a really good day. You can't explain why you had a really good day either. (laugh) Because you can’t go into details about what you know (laugh). Patrick (12:448)
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Patrick expressed his frustration of needing to exclude his partner from his work issues
because of the nature of his profession, whereas before his clinical placements, he used
to discuss about his day. However, as a therapist this option was not available anymore,
and he was feeling restricted from sharing major successes and failures that he
experienced in his clinical practice.
There were three instances whereby narrators mentioned that their personal and
professional life intertwined and this had a major impact on their romantic relationship.
Emma, in a slower speaking speed, shared that during her personal life there were
occasions when something would remind her of a client’s case:
Even if let’s say we were I don't know in a movie theatre and something was triggered so I would remember the client. But I think in the movie theatre it is much safer (.2) Emma (13:487)
Emma experienced different forms of triggers and these had an intrusive impact on her
personal life. In her last sentence she noted that being in a public space was safer instead
of having intrusive thoughts during intimate and private moments.
Emma discussed her sex life and in what ways it was affected during the doctorate. More
specifically, she dedicated the majority of her time on academic and clinical
responsibilities, and this situation impacted on her intimate relationship.
The first thing that got affected was our sex life… our intimacy so because I was structured in my life. This is the university time, this is placement time. So in my mind the intimacy became structured as well… Whereas for him it was something about that you know it is natural and is not structured… that was clashing how I saw because for me it was always at certain times… And for him it didn't fit. Emma (7:257)
Another interesting experience for Emma was that of working in a sexual violence service
with women clients. She was dealing with trauma, sexual abuse and painful emotions.
This also had a negative impact on her intimate life, as sometimes she thought about
client material in intimate moments.
I worked in sexual violence service. So when I was having sex. I was actually having flashbacks and thinking about clients… It's just this had a big impact on my relationship on my growth. In negative ways… If you are in the bed naked in a vulnerable position and then remember a client. Yeah but interestingly I didn't share this with my husband… because I think I was still learning trying to make sense what was happening and probably didn't want to upset him. Emma (7:2643)
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Working with clients who were sexually abused was a challenging experience for Emma,
as her clients’ stories were intrusively impacting her intimacy, and at moments she felt
vulnerable. Perhaps the most striking feature in the above narration is that she did not
share these incidents with her husband as she was trying instead to understand what was
happening. She acknowledged the possible impact upon him which again, affected their
communication in their relationship.
Another area which effected participants’ relationships was financial difficulty. This was
one of the most quoted categories during the interviews. Six narrators shared their
difficulty in doing the doctorate and not having any free time to work and pay towards
their living costs. These participants had to financially depend on their partner or family
members. This caused them high levels of anxiety, either because they did not feel
independent anymore or because they did not want to put financial pressure to their
loved ones. For example, Sophia became emotional when describing her financial
difficulties:
I found that the doctorate puts you in a really vulnerable pretty damaging position because you pay out all of your money or your parents are paying out all of their money and you could have failed at any time. Sophia (15:562)
Patrick recounts a similar struggle with financial pressures experienced and how this
affected his relationship. Patrick was not living on his own, and he had to consider his
partner in this situation and how this concerned her. For example:
The biggest stress in everything is money and that impacts the relationship. Because you're in a partnership in many ways. If you're living with someone your partnership as well becomes even more intense when you're facing the crimes to pay or go back. Patrick (8:287)
In this subcategory, the romantic relationships and the doctorate’s negative impact was
explored in various areas. This subcategory was very interesting because the narrators
explored their own views on how the course impacted their relationship, but tried to
share their partners’ thoughts and feelings that may have developed during the doctoral
journey. I will now move forward to the next subcategory focused on the positive
influence that the doctorate had on narrators’ romantic relationships.
The doctorate’s positive influences on their romantic relationship
Seven participants afforded a sense of support and encouragement and a need for
closeness within their romantic relationship. Eight narrators reflected on having a
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supportive and helpful partner during the doctorate seemed to be one of the main
reasons for their success. For example:
I couldn't have done the doctorate without this stability that we had together. You know that we still have gone with the doctorate so That's been absolutely essential. Paul (10:370)
The importance of a stable relationship before the doctorate seemed to be significant for
most of the participants. For example, Nicole presented her relationship with her
husband as grounded and secure. She described that she has been with her husband for
many years and this helped the relationship to survive during the difficult times of the
doctorate.
If you don't have that solid grounding I can imagine that being <very hard very hard>… the changes and the uncertainty on the doctorate. If that's a parallel in a relationship, I can imagine that cracking. Whereas the grounding and security of my relationship almost helped me to deal with it. Nicole (17:674)
The benefit of having a stable relationship gave Nicole a positive boost to start her
doctorate as she and her partner were confident to deal with any issues that may arise.
They had also built a good communication system between them. She acknowledged that
without this, they might have experienced the same difficulties as others.
Previously, Paul expressed that having a stable relationship when he started the
doctorate was very important to him. For example, he described his gratitude towards
his partner for convincing him to begin his studies; in an amused tone he stated:
I wouldn't be where I am without that relationship in the sense that my partner encouraged me and actually encouraged me first to do my undergraduate degree in psychology. "Why don't you start do one module or two and see how it goes". And at first I thought "are you completely out of your mind?". Paul (11:408)
Paul had no confidence at the start of his academic journey and having a supportive
partner helped him to overcome his fears and trust himself. Furthermore, Paul described
that in the first year of his doctorate he sought recognition and support from his partner.
For example, in an appreciative tone he shared:
So in the first year I guess a lot of (.) What I seem to remember of our relationship at that point was really about erm (.) Him providing a lot of support. Paul (11:419)
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Furthermore, three other narrators also described the valuable practical help they
received from their partners during the doctorate. For example, Rosie, in an ardent tone
stated:
I definitely kind of. Appreciate it and he always helped me. you know the technical things like… when you try to make a graph and you can't get the technicalities of bloody PowerPoint or something and you just you don't have time and pressure to do it because you have to submit on time. And he was always there to help me out… he was never ever said like stop bothering me with this. Rosie (8:310)
Rosie’s tone revealed a frustration when she was describing the technical part of writing
assignments. The experience of the doctorate was very stressful for her in many domains.
However, her husband helped her with practicalities during stressful periods as he was
not influenced by the doctorate’s pressures.
Overall, six narrators shared their experiences of their partners being loving and
considerate towards them for the whole duration of the course. For example, Patrick in a
benevolent tone stated:
My partner is doing the doctorate she just not takes the certificate… Patrick (4:154)
By sharing this, Patrick tried to convey the effect that this doctorate had not only on his
relationship but also on his partner as too. His partner was willing to listen to his
experiences and by sharing them, it was like she was also living them.
Similarly, Emma reflected that her husband felt the need to sacrifice his free time to help
her with household needs, as a caring gesture. This gave to Emma the chance to
appreciate her husband more and realise how valuable he was in her life.
I see the sacrifices that he has to do while I was on the course. And he was really supportive you know he was cooking, he was cleaning the house, he was you know dropping me off and picking me up. But you know that's a big thing… that gives me again a different insight into how he was supporting me. Emma (7:267)
Akin to Emma, Nicole equated her own experience of her husband being helpful by doing
‘acts of service’ that would make her happy and cheerful to boost her motivation for
studying.
Incredibly patient… He would make me coffee and food and things to cheer me up… I always had a bunch of flowers on the table next to me. Cause he knew I loved them and I do… He is pretty special really. Nicole (13:495)
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By reflecting on her husband’s kind gestures, Nicole expressed her gratitude on how
special her husband was. In addition, her partner by being a consistent figure in her life,
he aimed to look for ways to make her doctoral journey an easier one.
Four narrators identified their partners’ interest to learn about their doctoral journey. In
particular, Lily mentioned:
He was interested in what I was doing... and what I'd learned to if I was having a bad day or good. So we carried on doing all those things so it was treated quite normally. Lily (8:301)
This habit allowed them to normalise the experience of the doctorate and eliminate any
difficulties, especially around communication.
In three narratives, participants described that the difficulties and challenges of the
course created a need for closeness with their partner. Similarly, Rosie experienced a
similar situation, in an appreciative tone she stated:
I think maybe if I wouldn't be in a relationship, I would be much more like all over the place and maybe in need of an approval from different sources so it definitely makes a difference. Like having a solid base at home I think without it would be much more difficult. Rosie (13:500)
Consequently, Rosie felt the need to seek closeness from her husband as he represented
a supportive environment for her. She expressed feeling of being safe next to him and
this gave her a sense of stability. This gave her the courage to continue with her studies
and she continuously reminded herself to stay focused on the end goal of finishing the
doctorate. It is noteworthy to mention that four participants felt the admiration of their
partners after finishing the doctorate. For example:
For him that he feels in a way that he married up… that he was lucky to have me. And the fact that I did a degree and then a Doctorate had just seemed to have added to his admiration if you like. Lily (8:282)
Lily expressed that her relationship with her husband was settled, and her husband felt
complete by marrying her. However, when she finished her doctorate she noticed more
admiration from him as he observed her journey and how hard she worked towards her
goal.
Furthermore, two participants shared that overall their doctoral journey not only aided
their relationship for the better, but it also helped them to become better partners. For
example:
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I think you probably say that most people would expect it to have been a negative impact. Not at all. Very positive. Nicole (11:407)
As a summary of this category, we can clearly see the impact of the doctorate training on
romantic relationships. Both negative and positive experiences were important to have
an overall view of the situation. I will now proceed with the next category which refers to
the participants’ self-development and how it impacted upon their romantic relationship.
3. Self-development and its impact on the romantic relationship s
All participants engaged in a discussion around the connection between their own self-
development and their romantic relationship. Seven participants recognised the potential
benefits not only for themselves but also on their partners’ behaviour and the overall
well-being of their relationship. The impact of which, as well as any changes in the
relationship due to self-development that could lead to break-up, were seen as key
subcategories (See Figure 5 below).
Figure 4: NVivo screenshot of the subcategories of the major category ‘Self-development
and its impacts on the romantic relationship’
Self-development impacts positively on the romantic relationship
The formation of this subcategory is derived from the participants’ narratives whereby
they shared their self-development and its positive influence on their romantic
relationship. Findings in this subcategory illustrate the importance of being in a
supportive relationship where there was a possibility for self-development. Reflecting on
her experience of self-development, Lily drew my attention to her worries regarding the
stability of her relationship and starting her professional doctorate. She explicitly stated
that she did not want to “risk” her relationship. Through the duration of her course, she
realised that her partner was positively accepting her self-development and this helped
both herself and relationship. In a compassionate tone, she stated:
My worry was. Do I do this (?). Because in no way I want to risk my relationship. But as it turned out I was in a relationship that there was room. For me to have personal growth then. Lily (13:496)
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Nicole presented an equally positive view of the role trustworthiness and flexibility played
between her self-development and her romantic relationship. She gently recalled her
experience.
And I think when you trust someone you feel safe. And that has a huge impact on you… You allow someone to grow. to change. Nicole (9:335)
Furthermore, in the spirit of promoting self-development, seven of the narrators brought
to light how the doctorate helped not only themselves to grow, but their partner and
their relationship whilst keeping their core self. Nicole continued her narrative by sharing
that her relationship positively developed during her doctorate, mainly due to her
doctoral experiences. In a wondering tone, she stated:
Honestly I think one of the biggest things that has made (this doctorate) is the success of my husband and myself. I am not a completely different person to the person he married. But I'm not the same person. And he's not either you know we go back to the core self. The core self is the same cause I don't think that changes… Very facilitative. Nicole (9:337)
It seemed that her views were not explicit to which areas she may have experienced
change. She highlighted that although as a relationship they both kept their core values,
they also managed to be ‘facilitative’ to each other and be open to new experiences.
Furthermore, Emma explained that the reciprocal development that both her and her
partner had during the doctoral training, they developed a system of advanced moral
communication. In a joyful tone she stated:
He would point out to me if I do something wrong. So we are like a moral clock to each other… I may do something that he might say oh you know don't be creepy... And then I can change my behaviour. And the same thing goes forward to him… We kind of share our moral values. Emma (6:200)
Emma’s husband started being more open in expressing his moral values. Emma would
openly receive his opinion and would use some time to reflect upon it. By sharing their
moral values, it let them explore each other better and be honest with each other.
For three narrators, the communication development aspect in the relationship was
inevitable during the doctorate. Emma with a tone of admiration and a sparkle in her
eyes, mentioned:
It Is just amazing when I actually look at him now… in the process that I went through the course he also went through the same processes. And he became really psychologically minded… he's using the theory on me. So he's in the same boat. Emma (8:319)
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When Emma entered the doctorate as she noted that they started having many
discussions about psychology, therapy and Emma’s doctoral journey. As a result, Emma’s
partner started to develop a deeper awareness of psychology and shared his thoughts in
a more scientific way when it was appropriate.
Moreover, two participants turned to their relationship as an escape from their
professional pressures and the enormous responsibility which came alongside practicing
psychology. For example, in Rosie’s narrative it was clear that organising time away and
having an event to look forward brought their relationship together. They also began to
readdress the imbalance of work and social life. Rosie, in a loving tone, mentioned:
You sometimes just need to completely like relax your mind and just talk or something else rather than therapy… You got a bloody difficult job. And there's someone to make you dinner or take you out for a walk or go to cinema… Making time for each other. Rosie (11:421)
Rosie’s excerpt revealed her overwhelming feelings that she sometimes experienced
towards her profession. She shared her need to relax and calm herself after work by
doing activities which would take her mind off work. As a result, she has developed a
habit of spending quality time with her partner and doing things that both of them enjoy.
It seemed vital for her to receive support from her partner.
Rosie also made sense out of her partner’s self-development by noticing that they started
doing activities that they previously did not do.
We meditate together… And I haven't seen that quality in Jack before because he's not really aware of that… And kind of having the time to allow ourselves to be like in the moment enjoying it. Rosie (9:328)
This reinforced the idea that they were allowed to become cheerful and playful.
For all the participants, dealing with financial dependency was difficult. Three narrators
identified financial dependency as a self-sacrifice as they became dependent on their
partners. They also identified how the financial support helped to make the romantic
relationship stronger. Paul in a pragmatic tone he stated:
Financially we both didn't have any income at all for one year… it's brought a lot of challenges but that has also brought us closer together in terms of being a team... it's really brought our relationship to a level of you know cooperation literally being a team… that's another development to ourselves. Paul (9:352)
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More specifically, Paul and his partner created a new mindset and a type of
communication which included cooperation and openness to difficult financial situations.
This mindset helped them to develop as a relationship and to overcome any obstacles.
Unlike the clinical psychology doctorate which is funded from the NHS, the doctorate in
counselling psychology is not government funded. Counselling psychology trainees are
expected to fund the training themselves and at a higher rate if they are international
students. Trainees also face the costs of unpaid placements and funding personal therapy
as a mandatory requirement. Similarly to Paul, Rosie vividly described her difficult
financial experience:
We got married... He opened a joint account. There was no money coming from me (laugh) and he was saying look this is all your money do it. And I stopped working because of that and it helped me to be more relaxed… He kind of gave me the fact that you know you can rely on me… I don't feel indebted or anything but I felt like I can be loved for who I am without kind of owing anything to anyone. Rosie (8:282)
Losing financial control and independency was an uncomfortable situation for Rosie, but
she eventually saw it as a learning experience and that it is acceptable to rely on others.
This acceptance helped her to value the relationship with her husband and feel more
relaxed and safer to continue with the doctorate.
Three of the narrators after starting their doctoral training, expressed the need to
develop new self-traits to better deal with relationship issues. For example, Donna
explained she would easily become upset after arguments with her partner. In a regretful
tone, she stated:
Because he hadn't meant any hurt by that… I knew that I had overreacted... I didn't go and stay somewhere else. Whereas prior to the training I would have text the friend I would have been staying at the friend's house... Probably wanting to punish him on some level… But instead of that I took a breath… Am I trying to hurt his feelings. Am I trying to make myself feel better. Donna (3:87)
After the doctorate Donna started reflecting more on a situation and what might be the
reason behind it. She also minimised any overreaction towards her partner and this made
her feel better.
Paul and Patrick also expressed a need to seek practical solutions to deal with problems in
their romantic relationships resulting from the time limitations and course’s workload.
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When you are so tired and overworked and I'm sure sometimes he is as well. It is making more difficult to get over that situation. I think I'm the one more often who takes some time out and then comes back… let’s just be practical. You know this will be the therapist I guess (laugh). Paul (10:377)
Paul after spending some time on his own and reflecting on what happened, found it
helpful to talk to his partner and seek practical and quick ways to solve the situation. In a
joyful way, he shared that this new behaviour resulted from the doctorate and his clinical
practice. In another example, Patrick expanded his awareness for his relationship to a
broader social spectrum.
To sit down and think about yourself and how you might be like in a relationship. That's an interesting kind of reflective… How others may perceive your relationship… I don't really care what others think of me. But I often wondered as people were caring for or what people thought of her and how she would think about that. Patrick (7:258)
By reflecting on the doctorate, he had thoughts about his relationship and how others
might have perceived it. It seemed what he really cared about was others’ understanding
of his partner and their overall relationship.
Furthermore, Rosie, indicated that in her relationship both her and Jack (her partner)
talked about everything. One area that they really tried to develop was honesty and
transparency. In an excited tone, she revealed:
I feel really confident this time and place to say if I don't like something about him. But there is <nothing> he doesn't know that I don't like about him. So there is trust. Rosie (6:229)
It seemed Rosie was very proud about her relationship. It was a moment of realisation for
her, that both her and her partner have invested time to build a strong communication
and openness in their relationship by discussing any kind of problem, since beginning the
doctorate.
In their attempts to configure an exploration on how the doctorate influenced their
romantic relationship, five participants described a level of experience that extended
beyond their academic experiences. Five narrators explicitly referred to becoming a
therapist as helping them to value their relationship. For example, Patrick talked about
his temptation to compare his clients’ relationships with his. In a frank tone, he stated:
You see they have got dysfunctional relationships around them. It's easy to kind of compare and look at your own relationship and think how you create your own relationships. And there's something to that definitely
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for your own benefit in terms of reflection. But it can be very easy to get into the trap of thinking that your relationship is better. Patrick (10:377)
This reflection gave Patrick time to appreciate his own relationship. Likewise, Amelia
shared her own experience and expressed a more existential thinking about her
relationship. For example:
I was thinking what if I experience that. And it almost like triggered another side of me… Because life is full of surprises and sometimes bad surprises… I could relate to her experience even if I didn't have similar experience. It was that kind of worry or the fear… I remember I went back home when I Skyped him and I said I really love you. I really need you and we need to appreciate life and everything. It did impact in the way I felt. Amelia (9:255)
The above excerpt appears to be different from Patrick’s, as Amelia appeared more
concerned with the comparison of her romantic relationship to the client’s. It seemed
that for her it was a moment of realisation that she should not take for granted. She felt
she needed to appreciate her relationship more. As a result, she expressed her reflections
to her partner and showed him her true feelings of love and appreciation.
One narrator also spoke about the development of their therapeutic skills and its
beneficial impact on their romantic relationship.
I think I kind of go back in terms of the skills that I've developed they probably benefited my relationship. Patrick (9:359)
More specifically, these skills did not only benefit his therapeutic work but it also
benefited his relationship as he became more self-aware. He reflected more on his
thoughts and emotions. However, he noted that his romantic relationship did not impact
upon his therapeutic work with clients.
Additionally, three participants seemed to suggest that the main priority in their life was
not the doctorate but their romantic relationship, as demonstrated by Lily:
I had some worries about doing this qualification. From the beginning because if I had to choose the qualification or the relationship I'd choose the relationship. Lily (13:493)
Similarly to what Lily expressed, Rosie explained the difficult process of learning to
compromise her own time and schedule her academic routine around her relationship.
so that was difficult especially around deadlines as I make sure I have at least a day off or if I have to do something it will be only for 2 hours so we can have time together so I definitely had to learn to prioritize our relationship. Rosie (12:449)
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Rosie reflected upon that at the beginning of the doctorate she struggled to arrange time
for her course and romantic relationship. She refused to allow the doctoral training to
become her only concern and she chose to prioritise her relationship. Patrick also added
to the concept of prioritising his relationship and he took full responsibility for finding
time to spend with his partner.
I think it's my responsibility as the person on the course to make sure… I'm the one that's doing the course I know the constraints of the course. Patrick (5:197)
All the narrators discussed their self-development and its positive impact on their
romantic relationship. The participants presented their self-development through the
doctorate as a way to develop their relationships. Interestingly, it also helped their
partners’ self-development as they learned about psychology and this deepened the
couple’s communication skills and understanding about different subjects. I discerned
that a common thread throughout this subcategory which showed an equal appreciation
of both their self-development in relation to their romantic relationship and their
partners’ self-development and overall admiration about the participants’ achievements.
Self-development impacts negatively on the romantic relationship
Six of the participants reported that their self-development had a negative impact on
their romantic relationship. They mentioned how valuable was support from peers was.
For example, Sophia stated:
I think being on the doctorate and being around people that actually were either really emotionally intelligent or really working hard to try to get better and it was really hard and I didn't get that same understanding from my partner. Sophia (10:370)
The above excerpt highlights that participants during their doctoral training, may develop
a strong bond with their peers, as they are able to understand each other on an
emotionally intelligent level, something which might be difficult to have with their
partners. Similarly, Donna expressed her positive experience and appreciation for her
peers’ understanding in difficult situations:
If I talked to someone from the course about a really hard day then they get it. So I would talk to those people about it. I wouldn't talk to John about it. Donna (14:534)
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Donna tended to use her peers help and support when dealing with difficulties during the
training, instead of seeking her partner’s support as he would not fully understand the
situation.
For five narrators, an increased understanding of others was described. This was an
explicit result of their training. For example, Patrick shared that learning how to
understand others helped him to understand his partner more:
When I did this course... There were little things I'd never noticed before just through learning. erm. and signs of psychoanalysing my partner... It just feels like I'm that equipped. Patrick (3:82)
Similarly, Sophia noticed how she became more aware of others’ behaviours and
perspectives due to her therapeutic skills. For example:
Having that kind of reflection I've been able to formulate. It's kind of like a blessing and a curse because it means that you let people get away with stuff that you wouldn't usually because you can kind of or you think that you can understand where that comes from. So I think I was probably a lot more forgiving of him than I might have been. Sophia (11:403)
Although the newfound understanding of others allowed Sophia to better understand
others’ behaviours, especially her partner’s, she expressed her concerns that formulating
and understanding other people on a deeper level might not be beneficial for her. Instead
of dealing with any difficulty in her relationship, she used to analyse her partner’s
behaviour and forgive him.
Another important finding was that by starting the doctorate and advancing their self-
development, participants were aware of their differing intellectual levels and self-
development from their partners. Three participants reported that this caused problems
in their romantic relationship. For example, Sophia shared her intellectual experience
with her partner while they were on holiday. In a distressed tone, she mentioned:
And I was trying to explain that racism it can be really like fly under the radar. And so by using a term lucky lucky man or like describing them as them and us as us than we're all people kind of like that is stigmatizing within itself. And he didn't get that… how that can manifest quite subtly in language and then meets a prejudice. Sophia (8:305)
When undertaking her doctorate, Sophia developed another way of thinking which
clashed with her partner’s, causing issues in her relationship. She was annoyed that when
she explained her thoughts to her partner, he did not understand her point of view.
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Participants’ partners may appreciate self-development, but sometimes they did not
recognise that this development influenced participants’ romantic relationships.
I think he feels like I have grown… He doesn't think I've changed anything in our relationship. But I sort of do (laugh)… I am emotionally stubborn that he still sees me as the same. Lily (9:326)
Lily shared her disappointment and frustration that although her husband recognised and
appreciated her self-development and her success by completing the doctorate, he did
not notice any change in their relationship.
As a result of participants’ pursuing their professional motivation to become counselling
psychologists, they highlighted that their partners may perceive this as a threat. Lily
expressed that although her husband felt proud of marrying her and of Lily becoming a
Doctor; this might not be the case for other relationships as she understood the reasons
why a partner might feel threatened.
I think he likes that his wife has got a doctorate. So he doesn’t feel at all threatened by that but I think a lot of men would. Lily (13:509)
Lily’s thought about other people and their partner’s worries about self-development, is
supported by Emma’s excerpt below.
He said he noticed that my intelligence levels are coming up… And he is worrying about his intelligence… So in his mind this became an issue. That if I would comment on something that he would perceive it as a matter of him not being intelligent. He would respond defensively… he became <threatened or intimidated> by the level of intelligence that I gained on the course. Emma (12:462)
Emma noticed that her husband became defensive and when she tried to explain him
that this did not have to do with her development or the doctorate, but for him it was still
an issue and this negatively impacted on their relationship.
In their attempts to configure an understanding of their self-development and how this
might have impacted their romantic relationship, two narrators described a level of
experience that extends beyond the binary boundaries of personal. For example:
I have developed far so much in terms of the global awareness that he notices the gap between his awareness and my awareness and I think that he tries to reach the level of my awareness he tries to think globally maybe not because that he wants to but because that I am there and he isn't… The mindset that was something that was impacted a lot. Emma (7:251)
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This new social trait impacted on her relationship, as her partner did not have the same
awareness as her. Emma expressed that she recognised a sense of pressure towards her
husband and his attempts to reach the same mindset as hers. She continued to describe
that because of the different levels of awareness, she could not receive the same quality
of support that she used to receive in the past. For example:
So that's when the husband could support me and he did support me in this depression... I feel like at the beginning I was at the higher level than he was and he couldn't support me. Emma (8:298)
Emma felt that she was seeking a deeper level of understanding and support, and this
was something that her husband found really difficult to achieve. As a result, Emma felt
she needed to lower her expectations and not seek a deeper level of support.
All participants were together with their partners before the doctoral training started.
From their narratives it was clear that they already developed roles in their relationship.
The adjustment in these roles seemed to bring about underlying changes and difficulties
for their partners. More specifically, male partners had to adjust their roles and take on
more of the household tasks as participants struggled to maintain them. For example,
Emma, in a pensive tone, stated:
But I think I became more sensitive towards expectations that he has from me because before the course I was in the sense of housewife. But after I became a career woman and I think now he is meeting that different woman… The responsibilities of the house have to be divided now which he is happy about. Emma (9:347)
In the above excerpt, it seemed that the roles in Emma’s relationship prior to the doctoral
training were more gender stereotypical. These roles changed in her relationship because
of her involvement in the doctorate and her self-development. Her self-development may
seem to have changed her behaviour on dealing with household activities after the
course.
Five narrators expressed towards the end of their narratives that when they finished the
doctorate and they started to focus again on their relationship. They realised that they
needed to restructure their relationship. For example, in a regretful tone Emma shared:
I need to reconnect with my husband again. Because you know we dated and as soon as we got married and I gotten on the course and I just disappeared… We couldn't develop as a married couple because of the course. So I have to really rediscover the person who was next to me. Emma (6:231)
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Emma acknowledged the negative impact that the doctorate had on her relationship.
Although, she was pleased with completing the doctorate and for her professional career,
she realised that this caused her sadness for the time lost and not being together as a
couple. After finishing the doctorate, she realised that she had to rediscover her
relationship and focus on the things that may have changed or developed.
I have to say now we both agree that the course had damaged our relationship in a sense and we both agree that we need to work on our relationship and build it. Emma (8:311)
This subcategory revealed the negative impact the doctorate had on the participants’
relationship. Although, participants showed willingness to protect the relationship from
any negative influence, they still experienced critical difficulties during and after
completing their doctorate. A process of readjustment and rediscovery was expressed by
the narrators as a way to adjust to the new environment and behaviours which then
developed into the new norm for the couple.
Relationship changes or break-up due to self-development
The last subcategory of this category was created by the participants’ excerpts which
focused on participants’ core changes on their preference on how a partner should be.
Two participants reported the doctorate being the reason for breaking up with their
partner.
Participants’ academic development and knowledge was inevitable during the doctorate.
For two narrators this negatively influenced their relationship. For example, Sophia stated
that the doctorate had broadened her horizons on feminism and other areas which made
her realise that she was dissatisfied with her partner. In an indignant tone, she described:
I think my doctorate changed me in a way that I just wasn't satisfied with my relationship and I expected better from it… I learned a lot about feminism… I think that just gave me a perspective that made me more dissatisfied with my relationship. Sophia (10:390)
Sophia described that her partner did not offer her the qualities she wanted in a
relationship and this made her dissatisfied. She realised that her relationship was not
beneficial for her and she broke-up with him.
All participants expressed that by starting the doctorate, they became more aware of
their emotions and through their clinical practice, they started to reflect more and focus
on their partner’s thoughts and emotions. For example, Rosie shared her experience:
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He's very constant person. He doesn't have the emotional ups and downs which I would sometimes appreciated if he's been more {oh my god I am excited}. Rosie (8:316)
Rosie became emotional when she spoke, her desperate need to acknowledge her
partner’s intense emotions caused her frustration. The above excerpt indicated that it
was not communication that she searched from her partner, but rather his underlying
emotions on the conversation, yet again confirming the expressional and emotional
intelligent skill that most of the narrators developed as a result of undertaking the
doctorate.
Furthermore, for two narrators being emotionally intelligent was not enough for the
relationship as some began to expect the same communication level and academic
background from their partners. In particular, Sophia expressed that during her doctorate
and her self-development, she started seeking new traits from her partner. With a hint of
frustration in her voice, she stated:
It's not even intellectual level it's just a way of communicating that I think you gain when you have come from a similar background and gone through a similar university experience. Sophia (8:289)
Sophia realised that having just simple conversations was not enough to keep her
interested and she started to seek conversations on an academic level.
For four participants, after finishing the doctorate, their priorities and preferences had
changed. This had a negative influence on their partners as they expected the old
behaviours from the narrators once they finished their doctoral training. For example
Emma, in a nostalgic and regretful tone, mentioned:
He would like to come back home to have you know freshly cooked dinner and to have this romantic time sitting in front of the TV whereas for me these priorities have changed… The way how we spend our time has changed actually... He says he misses the days when we would just watched stupid movies together. And I just don't find them funny anymore because I'm aware of these global problems. Emma (9:354)
Emma discussed these changes with her partner, but this did not remove her husband’s
nostalgic feeling. As such, her partner had to respect the developments in Emma and
their relationship.
Two participants have since broken up with their partners as a result of self-development
and changes in their preferences during the doctorate. These participants reflected on
what was important for them and what they looked for in future relationships.
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Having just left my husband (laugh) I have some clarity on what is important for me. And what was missing from that relationship… Well one of the things that's really important to me is erm trust and honesty. Donna (10:359)
She realised that during her training she developed traits and qualities that were not
aligned with what her ex-partner offered her. She decided to leave this relationship and
focus on what is important for her in a future relationship.
To summarise this category, narrators shared their understanding of self-development by
drawing from a range of personal experiences to understand the doctorate’s impact on
their romantic relationship. Eight participants discussed their self-development had a
positive impact on their relationship, and their partners also experienced self-
development. Five participants recognised that as a result of the training some of their
preferences had changed and to keep their relationship, their partners needed to follow
suit. Moreover, five participants developed their intellectual and communication skills
and reflected back on their relationship. Furthermore, two participants realised that it
was better to finish the relationship and seek the desirable traits and qualities from
future partners.
Researcher’s Reflections
Considering dual-role
Cousin (2010, p. 10) proposed that ‘in interpreting and writing qualitative reports of such
observations, accounts and other qualitative data, we are always re-presenting our own
and others’ experiences and interpreting these ‘from a particular stance and an available
language’. While I was undertaking the analysis and writing my findings, I thought about
the dual role I experienced as a narrative researcher and a psychological therapist, and
how these roles could impact on how I analysed the participants’ narratives. I reflected on
the contract between the researcher and the participant, which was both explicit and
implicit (Clandinin, 2007, p. 539). The explicit contract included the role between the
researcher and the participant, such as the aim of the study and anonymity. The implicit
contract included the intimate relationship between the researcher and the participant,
which had been created by several assumptions, expectations and contingencies.
To make sure that the participants were the main focus of the research and that the
readers would have an overview for each participant’s narrative, I included a brief
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description for each of them. These stories, hopefully, enabled the readers to understand
them.
During the analysis, thinking of the dual role I described above, I tried to be open to the
participants’ narratives and not be the expert as a psychology therapist, neither to allow
my similar personal experiences to influence my decisions in the analysis. I soon realised
that these roles inevitably intersected throughout my research journey and that I had to
use them in a co-created process. I also reflected on the difficulties of trying to be a
neutral interviewer whilst knowing some of the participants in real life and having a little
insight of their world.
In reflecting on the participants and their interest for taking part in my study on a
voluntary basis, I had to be mindful that we shared the same interest on this research
topic and we had had similar experiences in our romantic relationships during the
doctorate. Consequently, I was aware of not sharing any personal emotions or interrupt
them and, instead of a therapist, being an active listener who empathised with their
narratives. There were instances when my experiences were very similar with the
participants’ stories or my participants were asking me why I chose this topic and if I had
any similar experiences to them. I managed to hide my emotions during the interview and
avoid answering their questions in a polite way. Once the interview process was finished
and I had collected the data, I shared my own experience on the topic and why I decided
to complete this research.
I also tried to be transparent with my thoughts and feelings during each interview and
when I was writing my initial impressions and reflections. When I was writing the analysis
section, thoughts and emotions were revealed that I was not aware of during the
interview or when I was writing my initial impressions. For example, I experienced
awkward feelings when some of the participants shared their experiences about their
thesis, and when they showed feelings of pity for me because at that particular time I was
in a process of starting to work on my own thesis. In particular, they described their thesis
experience as hell and they expressed how sorry they were that I had to go through the
same process, for example:
“I am sorry I know you have to go through this process (laugh) you will come out on the other side but it is like <miserable and it is like you just you lose your brain>” Sophia (4:152)
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I realised that I had a completely different view about the thesis journey, or perhaps that I
was naïve because I had not started the writing process yet. However, Sophia’s statement
made me feel very uncomfortable and wonder if I would experience the same situation. I
was surprised when a few participants spoke about their negative experiences with their
academic and clinical supervisors. However, I respected their subjective experiences and I
remained open to any new finding.
Another interesting reflection while I was writing the findings was, although the
participants and I shared the same language regarding therapeutic practice, it felt
different as each individual’s experiences are constructed based on their own background
and knowledge. For example, some participants did not feel the need to describe on a
deeper level psychological words and phrases such as “vicarious trauma”.
I also wondered why some participants shared more detailed experiences from their
private moments and some others did not. It might have been difficult for them to open
up about such a difficult and personal topic. One other thought that crossed my mind was
that as this research could potentially be published, and as such the participants may
have had second thoughts on exposing intimate details. They may have only shared a
view of their experiences that they thought I wanted to hear instead of the reality of their
situation.
Lastly, during my analysis and when I was creating the categories and subcategories, as a
researcher, I had to select specific excerpts of the narrators’ stories to answer my
research questions. This could have influenced the nature of this analysis and its findings
as I had to choose only a limited number of excerpts due to the word limitation (Naaeke,
Grabowski, Linton, & Radford, 2011).
Chapter Summary
The chapter demonstrated a synopsis of the narrative analysis which answered the
research questions. It also outlined the findings of the data analysis including excerpts
from participants’ narratives. Three main categories and their subcategories were
identified and analysed. In addition, the reflections on the analysis and findings were
explored. The next chapter will focus on the reflexivity and my personal experiences.
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Chapter 5: Reflexivity Chapter
Overview
This chapter aims to address the potential effects on reflexivity due to the dual nature, of
me being a psychologist and a researcher, and it further expands on my personal
experiences and how these impacted my research. A powerful process that increases the
trustworthiness of the analysis and interpretation of qualitative data in qualitative
research is reflexive analysis. Reflexivity is an essential aspect of qualitative research
involving the researchers to be aware of their own understanding and interpretations
during the research process and how their research methodological decisions shape its
outcomes (Hardy et al., 2001). It also helps the researchers to reflect on the ways they
conduct their research as they explain how they have made certain decisions that
ultimately deliver specific outcomes. Reflexivity involves ‘exposing or questioning our
ways of doing … and through questioning the bases of our interpretations, reflexivity
brings about change in the process of reflection’ (Hibbert et al., 2010, p. 48), and it has a
‘self-referential characteristic of “bending back” some thought upon the self, such that it
takes the form of subject-object-subject’ (Archer, 2009, p. 2). In other words, reflexivity
helps researchers to self-monitor and self-respond to their thoughts, feelings and actions
all the way throughout their research process. In qualitative research, reflexivity has a
long history, as researchers interpret and write qualitative reports, accounts and other
qualitative data to ‘re-present’ their own and others’ experiences and to interpret these
‘from a particular stance and an available language’ (Cousin, 2010, p. 10). Additionally,
feminist researchers have emphasised the importance of reflexivity in psychological
research and how the researcher and intersubjective elements markedly impacts the
research outcome (Barry & O’Callaghan, 2008; Wilkinson, 1988). As was mentioned in the
methodology chapter, individuals’ social reality is conceptualised as being a co-
constructed reality and researchers by using reflexivity are able to acknowledge the
situated nature of knowledge (Alvesson et al., 2008). However, the knowledges
researchers create are ‘limited, specific and partial’, and they are shaped depending on
the circumstances they conduct their research and on their particular interests (Rose,
1997, p. 306).
For the purposes of this research project, I kept a reflective journal whilst conducting
each stage of this research to be able to express and recognise my own thoughts,
assumptions, values and interests (Barry & O’Callaghan, 2008). In addition, transparency
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contributes to the trustworthiness of the research and researcher accountability (Parker,
2005), which helps the readers to make their own assumptions about the extent of the
researcher’s influence (Lukinsky, 1990). In the methodology, analysis and discussion
chapters, I have shared my reflections on relevant thoughts and experiences in regards to
these specific chapters. This chapter outlines disciplinary reflexivity and my personal
reflexivity with regard to the whole research study.
Disciplinary Reflexivity
Disciplinary reflexivity enables researchers to explain how their disciplinary background
may affect their choices, during the research, decisions, practices and findings (Wilkinson,
1988). As was mentioned in the methodology chapter, my ontological and
epistemological stance is constructivist-subjectivist which embraces the subjectivity of
human experience and the existence of multiple realities that inform one’s research.
Personally, throughout the training and this research study, I have seen myself changing
and developing as I chose a topic close to my personal experiences focusing on
participants’ experiences in their romantic relationships during their doctoral training. In
the following section, I will demonstrate my personal reflexivity with regard to this
research study.
Personal Reflexivity
The subject-object-subject on the self (Archer, 2009) that was previously mentioned in
processes of ‘personal reflexivity’ (Willig, 2001), includes the researchers’ reflections on
how their research studies are shaped by their interests, values, experiences and political
commitments (Willig, 2001). Personal reflexivity is associated with the researcher’s
identity and the form of the research (Wilkinson, 1988). In this case, it refers to me as a
woman in her mid-twenties while undertaking the doctoral training in counselling
psychology. According to Pels (2000), researchers using personal reflexivity, may disclose
something about themselves and write a piece of autobiography. Therefore, by saying
and writing, it ‘defines and redefines both ourselves and the texts we produce’ (Gabriel,
2015, p. 334). While ‘re-defining ourselves’ is a significant part of the researchers’
reflective process, it is also important that this process does not divert the researcher
away from the findings of the research itself (May, 2002). Furthermore, it is important for
the qualitative researcher to present an honest, self-searching and non-judgmental
account of themselves. In this section, I have reflected on my personal experiences which
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have influenced me to choose this particular research topic (Doucet & Mauthner, 2008).
Being reflective about my own thoughts and experiences, I eventually became more
comfortable in disclosing personal issues about my romantic relationship (Eastmond,
2007). Overall, my reflections illustrate my awareness of my present identity, being both
a researcher and a counselling psychology practitioner, conducting research on romantic
relationships during counselling psychology doctoral training (Mauthner & Doucet, 2003).
In the following sections, I will briefly outline some of my personal relationship
experiences, how they relate to my topic and finally my overall thoughts and feelings
about conducting this research.
Background
After spending 3 years in a long-distance romantic relationship, in October 2015 my
boyfriend moved from Athens (Greece) to Bristol (UK), so that we could begin our longed-
for life together. Soon after we rented an apartment together, my boyfriend found a job
and I began my Masters in Health Psychology. Everything was going smoothly and we
adequately adjusted into our new life. In June of 2016, while I was working on my
Masters dissertation, I had a meaningful conversation with my best friend, who at that
time was in the second year of her counselling psychology doctorate training. I remember
I expressed my great interest in the counselling psychology profession and that one day I
would pursue this interest and apply for the doctorate. At that period of time, though, my
plan was to work and earn money before following my dreams. Then she gave me the
idea to apply ‘just for the experience’ and be open to what may follow next. I could not
stop thinking about it and one night I talked to my boyfriend about it. My boyfriend
thought it was a great idea and said that he believed in me and he would support me
through my academic pursuits. He saw no reason to wait, as we did not have children,
and as we were still young to pursue our dreams, he encouraged me to apply. On my
birthday, a few days later, I got the offer! I was accepted on the Professional Doctorate in
Counselling Psychology at the University of Manchester, and this was probably the
happiest day in my life. I still remember how proud my boyfriend and my family were for
me, even if it was only the beginning.
While I was still working on my dissertation, we found a new house and we moved to
Manchester. Meanwhile, my boyfriend began feeling sad about leaving the life he had in
Bristol and grew anxious about the long training period ahead of us, and our move to a
new city. Although, I was ready to embark my doctoral journey, I could not truly envision
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how this doctoral journey would affect me, my boyfriend, and our relationship. During
the first year of the training, I was juggling assignments, placements, clinical and
academic supervisors, tutors, and of course my boyfriend. Additionally, as I was still
financially dependent on my family, the guilt about spending their money was another
additional stressor in my life.
Doctorate’s impact on my romantic relationship
Reflecting on these 3.5 years, I realised that I was constantly ‘on call’ and there was no
day that I would be guilt-free for doing something different than academic work. My
boyfriend often suggested to go to the cinema or for dinner to spend some quality time
together. Sometimes, I had to say no as I was feeling so stressed due to the doctorate’s
demands. However, the times we actually went for dinner, instead of having fun and
enjoying myself, I could not stop thinking about my deadlines and pressures and at the
same time I found myself comparing my own situation to other people around me which
they seemed to enjoy their stress-free time. That was it! By the end of our dinners, I was
feeling uneasy about the time I had ‘wasted’, and felt guilty about spending my parents’
money, I was also sad about not being able to have a stress-free time with my boyfriend.
Following these repeated rollercoaster negative thoughts and emotions, I seemed to
project these feelings on to my boyfriend and with no particular reason I got upset in
every argument. Reflecting on this, I realised that during the first year of my doctorate I
started my personal therapy, clinical supervision and had participated in countless
academic conversations that had stirred up personal matters. All of these experiences
had unconsciously impacted the way I behaved towards my boyfriend and in our
relationship. Luckily, my boyfriend happened to be a very calm and understanding person
whose main response to my struggles was to start therapy himself. The difficulties which
developed during my training intensified when I began to focus on issues such as intrinsic
meanings, unconscious motives and hidden causes in everyday situations, especially in
my communication with my boyfriend. I was using my psychological knowledge and
sometimes I was trying to ‘formulate’ his behaviour and this resulted to repeated
arguments which would frequently end up with my boyfriend saying ‘Stop trying to
analyse me and be a psychologist with me’. At that time, I could not realise what he
meant by saying this phrase, and why he seemed different, as he did not understand me
anymore. I was unable to recognise that the change was in me which impacted my
relationship with my boyfriend. I also felt that maybe these difficulties in my relationship
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with my boyfriend was the beginning of the end… the end of a four-year relationship as I
was thinking we were not on the ‘same level’ anymore.
Being frustrated with this situation and after a conversation with my personal therapist, I
started searching academic articles related to counselling psychology doctorate and its
impact on romantic relationships. In my surprise, I found nothing and immediately I
thought that I was the only one experiencing these unprecedented difficulties in my
romantic relationship. From that moment on I realised that I had two choices, either to
leave my relationship to ‘God’s mercy’ or to further explore this phenomenon because it
was really intriguing. By the end of the day, I had found my thesis topic.
While I was conducting my thesis, I realised that I was not the only one experiencing
these relationship difficulties during the doctoral training. There were so many other
trainees and qualified counselling psychologists that were ready to talk about their
experiences on this topic and how the doctoral training impacted their romantic
relationships. Furthermore, during the three years of my doctoral training, I managed to
attend and present parts of my thesis, together with some preliminary findings, in seven
international and UK conferences. This gave me the opportunity to interact with other
researchers who reflected on my study by asking questions or offer suggestions to
strengthen my study. By having in-depth conversations with them, I developed enhanced
ideas and reflections about my research. As a result, this exposure advanced my
understanding of this topic, gave me confidence to make further decisions on the
research process. It also helped me to reflect on the literature review and include more
in-depth and up-to-date research that was presented in these conferences.
This thesis has made me self-aware, as I have realised that ‘it’s okay to feel like that’.
Many times, my boyfriend and I felt that close to give up on our relationship, but in the
end, we made it through. I am now aware of just how much, during the years of my
doctoral journey, my boyfriend kept me grounded in my everyday life by reminding me
that there was still the world of movies, shopping, walks in parks that existed outside of
my own ‘the counselling psychology training world’. We both experienced self-
development during my doctoral journey, and together we managed to make our
relationship stronger, deeper, enhanced with values and with new dreams. We adjusted
and made this transition together and three years after, here I am finishing my thesis and
we are now ready to advance on the next stage of our relationship. We are now aware
that other difficulties may arise, but as we have become resilient due to the doctoral
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experiences, we are confident as a couple that we can successfully endure any future
challenges.
Chapter Summary
This reflexive analysis has assisted me in making sense of my position in this research and
how I may have impacted its analysis and findings. In this chapter, I have reflected on the
disciplinary reflexivity and my personal experiences in my romantic relationship, which
have played an important role in my decision to conduct the present research.
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Chapter 6: Discussion
Overview
The aim of this discussion is to situate the findings of this study in relation to previous
research on the impacts of higher education and self-development on romantic
relationships. Firstly, I will discuss the analysis and findings of this study including the
main categories and subcategories which were developed through the categorical-
content model (Lieblich et al., 1998). Secondly, I will then attempt to integrate and
synthesise the categories discovered in this study with existing empirical research and
literature on conceptions of self-development and love. Thirdly, I will also try to attend to
the uniqueness and divergence of individual experiences. Finally, I will respond to each
research question according to the main relevant categories.
Main categories and its relevance to the wider existing literature
The aim of my research was to explore trainee and qualified counselling psychologists’
narratives of their doctoral training self-development experiences and how these might
have had an impact on their romantic relationships. The methodological background to
this research was informed by the Lieblich categorical-content narrative model (Lieblich
et al., 1998). Participants throughout their interviews shared narratives of their doctorate
experiences. In addition, the categories generated formulate an overall picture of what
narrators considered to be important regarding their self-development awareness and its
impact on their romantic relationships.
The findings indicate that the professional doctorate in counselling psychology will have
altered the timbre of the accounts of romantic relationships generated by the
participants in this study. The findings of this study echo much of the existing literature
research and the nature of self-development (Alhanati, 2009; Chang, 2011; Hill et al.,
2016; Kottler, 2010; Pascual-Leone et al., 2013), as well as both the losses and gains in
participants’ personal lives and romantic relationships (Cogan, 1978; Farber, 1983;
Fiammenghi, 2015; Guy, 1987).
Three categories were generated from participants’ narratives. Each main category
consisted of two or three subcategories. The first category was: Developing academic and
clinical practice experiences as the foundation for self-development, which consisted of
two subcategories: a) self-developing process leads to enhancing experiences, b)
academic and clinical practice experiences: development, challenges and future concerns.
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The second category was: The doctorate’s negative and positive impacts on the romantic
relationship which consisted of two subcategories: a) the doctorate’s negative influence
on their romantic relationship, b) the doctorate’s positive influence on their romantic
relationship. The final category was: Self-development and its impacts on the romantic
relationship which consisted of three subcategories: a) self-development impacts
positively on the romantic relationship, b) self-development impacts negatively on the
romantic relationship, c) relationship changes or break-up due to self-development. I will
now discuss the first category below.
Category 1: Developing academic and clinical practice experiences as the foundation for
self-development
The first category which was generated from the analysis was Developing academic and
clinical practice experiences as the foundation for self-development, which consisted of
two subcategories. The creation of this category helps to answer the first research
question (What narratives of self-development do trainees report accompanying their
counselling psychology training?). Although, there is existing literature which explores the
trainees’ self-development during their doctoral training, this category brings additional
insight into their personal, academic and clinical experiences. It also gives a solid base to
answer the third research question later, on how this self-development might influence
their romantic relationship.
Self-developing process leads to enhancing experiences
The first subcategory Self-developing process leads to enhancing experiences, illustrates
the narrators’ self-development through enriched personal attributes, values and goals
and how their experiences influenced their behaviour towards themselves and others.
Previous research on psychology training programmes has found that these programmes
are designed to promote an overall self-development including skills improvement such
as self-awareness, self-reliance, assertiveness, self-reflection, introspection and self-
assurance (Guy, 1987; Knapp et al., 2017).
In this study, personal therapy as a mandatory requirement of their doctoral training
seemed to allow trainees to become more aware of their needs and to develop their
reflexive skills. Such sentiments are reflected in earlier work, such as Donati and Legg
(2016), and Grimmer and Tribe (2001) who note that personal therapy helped the
trainees to reflect on themselves and further explore new therapeutic skills which they
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could use with their clients. For example, Sophia said that personal therapy helped her to
explore and understand her thoughts and develop skills in managing situations better.
Research evidence indicates that undertaking personal therapy helped trainees to explore
themselves but also to learn about becoming a therapist which would make them more
skilled in their clinical practice (Donati & Legg, 2016; Rake & Paley, 2009). Rake and Paley
(2009) also suggested that developing a good therapeutic relationship with their therapist
was beneficial as it helped them make better interpretations in their own therapeutic
work and considered this to play a central role on their self and identity development
(McLeod & McLeod, 2014).
For the majority of the participants, personal therapy was a journey which they narrated
as leading to their self-development, increased self-awareness, confidence and resilience.
The participants were documented as experiencing a process of enhanced emotional self-
awareness and resilience which gave them the ability to select behaviours, manage
feelings and think about their stresses in ways that promote positive functioning. This
concurs with previous research which studied the impact of psychotherapy trainings in
trainees’ self and identity (Bennetts, 2003; Pascual-Leone et al., 2012). More specifically,
these studies indicated that trainees reported an improved capacity to engage with their
own emotions, tolerate emotional discomfort and promote the expression of personal
needs to others. Similarly, Connor (1994, p. 29) in her book ‘Training the counsellor’,
which is referred to in chapter 2: Literature Review, suggests that trainees in order to
accomplish the requirements of the training, need to adopt the ethos of the core
theoretical model offered and that a “good course” leads to “profound change”. Dexter
(1996, p. 80), describes this adoption of “a new philosophy”, as a “powerful
phenomenon” and proposes that “it is difficult to imagine other subjects having so much
potential impact on the students’ life”.
The participants of this study expressed how profound the personal therapy was in their
lives. For instance, Donna presented an equally positive view of the usefulness of
personal therapy. Specifically, Donna was able to identify her own feelings, and reflected
on dynamics between herself and her clients. She also developed a skill which enabled
her to acknowledge her own feelings and distinguish them from her clients’. In addition,
the personal therapy element of the course was essential in building and understanding
the therapeutic relationships, but also minimised any potential countertransference - the
emotional reaction that the therapist may experience towards the client and any
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potential projective identification - the feelings that the therapist may experience in the
session do not seem to relate with their own (Donati & Legg, 2016; Lemma, 2006; Rowan
& Jacobs, 2011). This finding invites a deeper understanding on how useful personal
therapy is to individuals and how it helps novice therapists to develop their professional
skills. This concept helps trainees as individuals to develop the ability to formulate and
reflect upon themselves, evaluate their actions and plan accordingly for the future, with
the possibility to achieve greater consciousness with respect to their own existence
(James 1890; Mead, 1934). Previous research on psychotherapists suggests that although
a trainee may be seeking to be empathic to their clients, at the same time the trainee
needs to be aware of their own self-care needs (Skovholt & Ronnestad, 2003). As a result,
trainees may engage with idiosyncratic behaviours to protect them from any emotional
breakdown during the period of personal change and self-development (Gerber &
Hoelson, 2011).
The self has also been conceptualised as a set of cognitive representations that are
organised by linkages from personal experiences and they reflect in an individual’s
personality traits (Thoits, 1995). Therefore, individuals have the ability to formulate and
reflect on themselves from an objective stance and they are able to take account of
themselves, evaluate their actions and plan accordingly for their future moves, and
achieve greater consciousness with respect to their own existence (James 1890; Mead,
1934).
A relationship category impacted by participants’ counselling psychology training was
‘friendships’. The participants of this research reported that during the doctorate they
developed a better and enhanced insight about others. This was sometimes helpful and
other times was described to be disturbing. They also reported experiencing gains in
terms of consolidating particular relationships and in identifying those friends who are
most important to them (Alhanati, 2009; Hackland, 2015). Identities are also suggested to
emerge from cognitive schemas as they are self-cognitions linked to roles and expressed
in different social settings (Markus, 1977). More specifically, in this study, Amelia referred
to her experience of being a friend and a psychologist at the same time and that these
multiple identities put her in a difficult position as she was expected to act as a therapist
towards her friends. This finding supports the identity theory previously mentioned that a
person’s identity is an “internalised positional designation” (Stryker, 1980, p. 60),
meaning that an individual holds different positions or role relationships in society.
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Frustration developed in some instances at being too tired to deal with friends’ difficulties
and in sometimes finding those problems insignificant because of the new
conceptualisation of what they defined as ‘real’ problems (Chang, 2011; Kennedy & Black,
2010; Råbu et al., 2016). One participant who encountered shifts in identity experienced
having values and beliefs that were incongruent with those of certain friends. This
significant event resulted in termination of challenging friendships and allowed other
more meaningful relationships to flourish. This is an outcome that echoes growing self-
awareness. More specifically, the termination of particular friendships may be perceived
as an acceptance of growth, acknowledging that relationships are fluid, and they may
change (Hackland, 2015; MacKenzie & Hamilton, 2007; Truell, 2001).
In addition, Stevens (1996, p. 2) explains the self as a profoundly social phenomenon and
“each of us inhabits a distinctive social world of lived experience. We are conscious of
being and are seen by others as being a particular person”. In other words, friendships
have a unique structure and when trainees experience self-development, they may
attempt to add elements of it to their relationships with family and friends. Three
participants articulated the impacts of starting a counselling psychology doctoral training
as the catalyst for change in how others including family and friends perceived them.
However, this significant event may symbolically function to represent the beginning or
indeed the culmination of a change in identity for counselling psychology trainees
(Alhadeff-Jones, 2012).
Furthermore, feelings of distress, emotional exhaustion and self-doubt were also
described by the participants. For instance, Sophia described that some of her doctorate
experiences were too demanding and she was worried about her capabilities to meet the
demands of the doctorate’s structure. This is in contrast to the research literature which
has shown that trainees in psychotherapy and counselling trainings are likely to have a
false conception of themselves; being powerful and having an extensive psychological
knowledge (Bruss & Kopala, 1993; Donati & Watts, 2005; Lamb et al., 1982; Sweitzer &
King, 2009). The trainees appeared to place unrealistic expectations on themselves to
learn and know everything. In addition, Mawdsley (2007) argued that doctoral trainees
expected to receive something back for all the work they do for this doctorate. However,
if they do not receive any compensation back, then there is a possibility of burnout and a
sense of worthiness in life and as human beings (Kaeding et al., 2017; Mawdsley, 2007).
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In this study, feelings of loneliness were also identified. For example, Amelia described
that through her doctoral journey and self-development, she gained a different
intellectual level compared to other people which led to feelings of loneliness. Previous
research has found that university students experience in different courses may include
high levels of loneliness when they have lower levels of social support (Lukosius et al.,
2013).
Another important finding of this study is the emphasis trainees have given to the
experience of losing their old self and the process of seeking their new self. They
described a gradual shift as they begun to shed their ‘old self’ and establish a ‘new self’
with a more authentic self and identity. Perhaps it is not surprising this phenomenon as it
certainly aligns with the person-centred approach, and the models of self-development
that trainees subscribe to will likely reflect those they have been trained in. Working
through struggles and difficulties that may arise during the doctoral training, seemed to
play an important role on the trainees’ process of becoming a counselling psychologist
(Ronnestad & Skovholt, 2003).
Academic and clinical practice experiences: Development, Challenges and Future Concerns
The second subcategory is called Academic and clinical practice experiences:
development, challenges and future concerns, as participants described the doctorate not
only helped them to develop a variety of personal skills, but it also helped them to
advance their research skills. These skills led them to self-awareness, confidence, sense of
achievement, but also to challenges and barriers during their doctorate and later in their
career.
An important finding which helps us to understand the participants’ self-development
through academic experiences is the role of the case discussions component of the
doctorate training. It could be hypothesised that case discussions encourage trainees to
critically reflect on the ways they work with clients as it promotes a sense of belonging
and minimises the experience of marginalisation. The participants in this study
highlighted a level of uncertainty in consideration of coursework evaluation. There was an
uncertainty about using different therapeutic interventions, which created feelings of
confusion when dealing with a variety of psychological approaches. As demonstrated in
other studies, supportive peer contact minimises stress and has an important influence
on the experience of training (Bischoff et al., 2002; Edwards & Patterson, 2012; Jairam &
Kahl, 2012; Wilks, 2008). For example, Nicole narrated that at the beginning of her clinical
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practice, she was worried about choosing the ‘right’ action or clinical intervention. The
analyses emerging from this research are in line with previous research which suggests
that psychotherapy and clinical psychology trainees experience a sense of uncertainty as
a result of the navigating the doctorate’s academic and clinical elements (Papadomarkaki
& Lewis, 2008; Rizq, 2006; Fiammenghi, 2015). A related finding of the research is the
prominent role of peers and classmates in supporting participants’ transformation during
the training. More specifically, as implied above, the participants noted that peer support
appeared to be highly important for them as they had the opportunity to share their
ideas and worries and also to develop self-confidence which led to a stronger self-
development later on. The significance of peer relationships is similar to previous
research of psychology training programmes (Chui et al., 2014; Cilliers & Flotman, 2016;
Edwards & Patterson, 2012; Gibson, 2005; Kanazawa & Iwakabe, 2016; Punzi, 2015;
Tirpak & Lee, 2012). Peer relationships play an important role in trainees’ process of
transformational learning (Bruss & Kopala, 1993; Rønnestad & Skovholt, 2003; Sweitzer &
King, 2009). In the current study, participants described peers and classmates as
functioning as a supportive and challenging holding environment (Taylor & Elias, 2012).
The participants expressed that they rapidly developed relationships with their peers due
to perceived shared experience of training and its significant impacts on trainees’
personal lives. This may be because the training environment seem to increase emotion
and strengthen the interaction between individuals (Jakubkaitė & Kočiūnas, 2013).
However, trainees might have found it difficult to talk about their own mistakes, and they
might have been unable to disclose feelings about their emotional needs due to concern
over potential criticism from colleagues and potential stigma associated with perceived
weakness and the possibility of being understood to work unprofessionally with clients
(Rance et al., 2010; Zerubavel & Wright, 2012). Previous research has shown that
psychology trainees, by acknowledging and accepting any differences between them,
enables them to identify unique strengths and create an identity development distinctive
from the rest of the group (Gibson et al., 2010; Lamb et al., 1982; Liddell et al., 2014;
Moss et al., 2014). It could also allow them to explore and develop away from being the
perfect psychologist to that of the actual psychologist (Gazzola et al., 2011; Ibarra, 1999).
Moreover, having the doctor title seemed to be a powerful element regarding trainees’
professional identity. For instance, Paul stated that the doctor title aided his self-esteem
as he received more acceptance and felt as an equal member of the multidisciplinary
team in his practice. Undertaking clinical placements may challenge counselling
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psychologist trainees and question power dynamics that shape dominant cultural norms
and discourses in their working environment. By reducing or enhancing this power
dynamic, depending on the context, novice therapists could prevent the misuse of power
and working in accordance to the values, integrity and ethos of counselling psychology
(Farber et al., 2005; McAteer, 2010; Morgan & Cohen, 2008; Zerubavel & Wright, 2012).
This seemed to indicate a growing confidence on the part of novice counselling
psychologists in their ability to contain and deal with most situations that may arise in a
therapeutic or working relationship leading them towards an independent professional
functioning (Bruss & Kopala, 1993; Kaslow & Rice, 1985; Lamb et al., 1982; Sweitzer &
King, 2009).
As detailed in the analysis chapter, participants recounted their appreciation of their
improved skills and their self-awareness during their clinical practice. More specifically,
participants described that when they recognised common experiences with their clients,
they found it important to empathise by reflecting back a brief disclosure without sharing
details of their story. According to previous research, when a therapist brings their
woundedness into therapy, they could potentially create an empathic environment in
which they may reframe imperfections as human, a normalising process which may lead
to a deeper understanding and connection as well as a strong therapeutic relationship
(Gelso & Hayes, 2007; Gilroy et al., 2001). In addition, they supported that disclosure
could foster honesty, understanding, trust, and openness between client and therapist.
Feminist therapists endorse self-disclosure as a means to positively shift power dynamics
between the client and therapist (Mahalik et al., 2000; Tabol & Walker, 2008). However, it
is important to note here that discomfort with a therapist’s disclosing behaviour could
elicit feelings of vulnerability and distrust, and eventually strain the working relationship
(Audet & Everall, 2010).
On the other hand, there were occasions in which narrators discussed personal difficulties
that seemed to be very challenging when at the same time they had to work with clients.
For example, participants such as Donna and Lily described their difficulties on break-up
and bereavement, respectively, and as these experiences were overwhelming to both of
them, they needed to stop working with clients for a period of time. Living in an
unbalanced and stressful life may lead to low mood feelings, which consequently may
affect the professional capacity of a psychologist (Myers et al., 2012; Sutin et al., 2010).
Therefore, working with clients while being under psychological distress may cause over-
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identification, projection (Sedgwick, 1994; Zerubavel & Wright, 2012), vulnerability
(Pearlman, 1995; Salston & Figley, 2003), and harm to the therapeutic relationship
(Ronnestad & Stovholt ,2013). In addition, the termination of a romantic relationship is
one of the most distressing and disruptive events in an individual’s life, and it may cause
strong emotions such as sadness, anger (Sbarra, 2006) and trigger deep fears and
insecurities (Slotter et al., 2010).
Another important issue emerging from this subcategory of the analysis was participants
stating that their initial expectations about the doctorate programme was very different
from the reality. This echoes previous research, highlighting that if trainees in higher
education experience a misalignment or mismatch between their expectations and
experience during their training, this may lead to dissatisfaction and possible dropout
(Bair & Haworth, 2004; Gardner, 2009; Golde, 2005). For example, Amelia, in her first
week of the doctoral training, felt uncertain about what to expect and the need to learn a
new organisational system, which added to her anxiety (Bruss & Kopala, 1993; Kaslow &
Rice, 1985). According to Lamb et al. (2002), this period matches the period of Early
Intern Syndrome, in which the trainee starts identifying with the counselling elements
while adopting their norms and style of working.
Another challenge highlighted by participants of this study was the lack of support from
their course faculty and clinical supervisors. For example, Lily described her negative
experience with her supervisors’ behaviour as they were both unavailable and treated her
like a baby. When trainees face interactions that threaten confidence in their professional
identity and self-esteem, this can create perceptions of enormous failure, or lead them to
withdraw from interactive situations (Thériault et al., 2009). In addition, Smith-Lovin
(2003), proposed if trainees experience a threat in their professional and/or student
identity, this could threaten notions of intellectual ability and confidence in pursuing or
continuing the academic path. Similar to Lily, Sophia reported her negative experiences
with her clinical supervisor during the doctoral training and how this affected her
confidence as a practitioner. This could of course give rise to a serious situation as
supervisors appear to be a model for trainees and through professional behaviours they
should try to minimise trainees’ overwhelming feelings with particular cases as well as
enable them to focus on and explore the situation (Skovholt & Ronnestad, 1992). This
topic will be further discussed later in the implications for counselling psychology section
with possible suggestions.
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To summarise, the academic and clinical practice experiences of participants
demonstrated an understanding of trainees’ development and challenges and the impact
of this on their self and identity development. Emphasis was given to the personal and
clinical proficiencies narrators developed during their doctoral journey. Participants
reported identity transitions through a transformative learning process in their doctoral
journey. This finding has also been evident in other fields including psychology and
counselling (Hopwood et al., 2011; Hramiak, 2017; Light et al., 2009). Findings from the
present study showed participants’ development on self and identity content, supporting
Oyserman, Elmore and Smith’s (2012) views that, when this kind of development occurs,
the self and identity may be dynamically constructed and still continue to function,
suggesting that the self may be considered to be experienced as the same. In terms of
ideas about self-development and higher education, this category highlights Rose’s (1996,
p. 31) statement that when somebody goes through “transformation ‘mentalities’ or
what one might term ‘intellectual techniques’ – reading, memory, writing, numeracy, and
so forth”, this may have an important impact on the self and its development.
In addition, this category comments on previous literature and ideas about higher
education and reflexivity. In particular, participants in this study reported that their
doctoral training created the conditions to develop skills to be reflexive. Reflexivity
allowed them to explore themselves (through personal therapy, case discussions, and so
forth), findings which supports Mead’s (1934) idea that being reflexive from an external
point of view helps to further explore self with an alternative degree of detachment.
Trainees entering higher education are more likely to become more reflexive as a
consequence of their engagement with different models and approaches (Franks &
Marolla, 1976; Mead, 1934; Rosenberg, 1979) as well.
The lack of support from both the institution and clinical supervisors was perceived to
have had negative consequences on trainees’ self-development. This provides us with
new understandings and motivation to create better supportive system culture, develop
support groups that could help the future doctoral trainees to experience a joyful and
fruitful doctoral journey with more support when it is needed. In the next section the
doctorate’s positive and negative impact in trainees’ romantic relationship will be
discussed.
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Category 2: The doctorate’s negative and positive impacts on the romantic relationship
The second interpretive category which was created via the narrative analysis was The
doctorate’s negative and positive impacts on the romantic relationship which is composed
of two subcategories. This section attempts to answer the second research question of
the study (What are the narrators’ experiences of their doctoral training in terms of its
impacts on their romantic relationship?). To address this question, it was necessary to
explore the narrators’ accounts of personal relationships and how their doctoral training
may have had a negative impact on them. I will first discuss the negative influences of the
doctorate and the positive ones after.
The doctorate’s negative influences on their romantic relationship
The counselling psychology doctoral training presents specific and unique challenges such
as academic, practical and personal demands to trainees and their significant others.
Therefore, this would seem to signify an even greater struggle for couples with a long-
term relationship commitment. As was mentioned in a previous section, trainees might
feel they are losing their self within all the competing roles and they may perceive
themselves as becoming different due to their new life and the doctoral training
pressures (Hayes-Skelton et al., 2013). Interestingly, the participants also discussed
rumours they had previously heard, including how once entering the doctorate the
chances of a break-up in their romantic relationships were really high. As discussed in the
literature review, when trainees enter higher education, they may experience changes in
their existing identities or develop new ones (Colbeck, 2008). This phenomenon may
suggest that a trainee may go through self-transformative experiences that later have an
important impact on the self and its development (Rose, 1996). Additionally, these
changes in identity and self may have a negative consequence on trainees’ romantic
relationships, as the couple may have problems verifying any new or mutual identities
and possible changes, resulting in a break up or divorce (Cast & Burke, 2002).
Individuals who are accepted into a counselling psychology doctoral training programme,
may experience negative thoughts and feelings, such as self-doubt on whether they will
be able to manage with all the struggles and accomplish the course’s requirements to get
qualified (Costa, 2002; Nelson & Jackson, 2003; Rønnestad & Skovholt, 2003). This was
echoed in this research as all the narrators reported their initial self-doubts about their
doctoral journey and at a later stage, they realised that the doctorate had an impact on
their romantic relationship due to the lack of time they had available and the high levels
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of stress. More specifically, the combination of classroom work, research and clinical
placements created high levels of stress and this was found to be a significant challenge
to the trainees and their partners (Polson & Nida, 1998). Stevanovic and Rupert (2009)
documented this as “spillover” of work stress into family life on a regular basis and as a
consequence the psychologists indicated they did not have time and energy to spend
with their partners. As the partners may attempt to negotiate spending more time
together, trainees may feel pressured, and their work pressures invalidated by their
partners. As a result, the trainee may withdraw from their partner and their daily
activities, and this may cause partners to feel neglected and ultimately rejected
(Scheinkman, 1988). Previous qualitative research investigating the effect of graduate
education on couples, found an increased dissatisfaction with the amount of time they
spent together and this had a detrimental effect on their romantic relationship (Legako &
Sorenson, 2000).
An important narrative in the analysis is how one participant, Amelia, used a specific
metaphor to describe how she experienced the doctorate as being a ‘tsunami’ experience
that impacted her relationship. It is worth recalling here that participants in qualitative
research may use metaphors as a way to better understand and structure their thoughts
and as a way to illustrate their behaviours (Lakoff & Johnson, 2013). The use of
metaphors, which narrative analysis treats as a useful resource, could be seen to
emphasise details of phenomena that had not been noticed before and metaphors are
likely to stimulate a variety of emotions which may enable the reader of the research to
connect in a deeper level with the narrators’ experiences (Patton, 1990). Amelia, by using
this metaphor, could be understood as providing a vivid way of illustrating her traumatic
experience and her negative feelings about the forceful impact the doctorate had in her
relationship.
The impact of psychological stress was evident in participants’ relationships and
especially manifested as conflictual interactions with partners, feelings of irritation and
lack of patience as well as a sense of limited emotional resources. More specifically, all
the participants reported in their narratives that their high levels of stress, during the
demanding doctoral journey, not only impacted them as individuals but also their
romantic relationship. As a result, they indicated that were unable to devote the usual
amount of time and energy in their relationship and towards their partners (Bodenmann,
2006; Epstein & Baucom, 2006; Gerstein & Russell, 1990; Shanmugarajah et al., 2012).
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Amelia shared a very descriptive narrative about her nurturing and caring self and how
she felt she had lost these qualities after starting her doctorate. Spending hours a day
listening to clients’ problems and traumas may cause the therapist to have less emotional
resources available and this leads them becoming emotionally withdrawn from their
partners (Martinez et al., 2013; Osterlund & Mack, 2012; Shanmugarajah et al., 2012). In
addition, previous studies have shown that the lack of time and energy for the couple is
detrimental to marital satisfaction relating to the demands of higher education training
courses (Sori et al., 1996).
Another reason is the client confidentiality issue. Therapeutic work with clients is private
and subsequently it is crucial to be protected, even from their partners (Guy, 1987). This
was evident in this study where Patrick illustrated his frustration as he had to exclude his
partner from his work issues due to the nature of his profession. When stressors from
work increase, trainees are more likely to perceive their romantic relationship as an
obstacle, therefore, push their partners on the side, sacrifice their social and private lives
and express their resentment for all this (Day & Chamberlain, 2006; Pedersen & Daniels,
2001). This may lead partners to feel helpless and powerless with demands such as
increased household and childcare and at the same time they may try to adjust and build
their own lives in accordance to trainee’s busy schedule (Giles, 1983; Hyun, 2009; Lovitts,
2001; Pedersen & Daniels, 2001).
Knowing and experiencing the above difficulties, the participants narrated their attempts
to balance the course workload and time pressures to free more time for their
relationship. However, narrators reported mixed feelings of guilt, resentment and pride,
as it was difficult for them to find the perfect balance between the doctorate training and
their romantic relationship. Time and guilt are two factors associated with managing
family responsibilities and doctoral studies. Trainees had to devote their time and
attention to the doctorate’s demands, and this took away time that was usually available
to partners and other family members. Previous studies support that guilt, worry, anxiety
and anger are common symptoms in trainees who try to balance the limited amount of
available time for family and doctoral training (Boes et al., 1999; Lipschutz, 1993; Lovitts,
2001). Consequently, these challenges and time pressures can continue throughout their
doctoral journey and the stress becomes a constant, and often a destructive force.
Nevertheless, the participants also talked of trying to make room for their romantic
relationship by establishing an open space for mutual communication in creative ways
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through activities. For example, Patrick expressed in his narrative that sometimes he had
to bargain about time with his partner and, as a reward, they would spend quality time
with each other or socialise. This was evident in previous research that trainees expressed
a desire for trade-offs with time with family and self-time (Martinez et al., 2013). These
trade-offs sometimes brought trainees and partners in dilemmas of what to choose but
regardless of their decision, there were always emotions of neglect, rejection and guilt
towards whichever choice trainees did not make (Gold, 2006).
Another finding of this subcategory is the narrators’ attempt to put themselves into their
partners’ point of view and try to understand how their partners may feel during their
own doctoral journey. According to participants’ narratives, the partners found it difficult
to adjust and participate in a co-created reality at the beginning of the doctorate. Even
though some of them encouraged the trainees to start the doctoral journey, it was hard
to anticipate just how this situation could impact their romantic relationship. This may
have led them perceiving the doctorate training as a persecutory invader in the
relationship generating nurturing ill feelings and resentment towards the doctoral
training and how it affected their romantic relationship (Benjamin, 2004). Among the
many issues that the partners experienced, according to the trainees’ narratives, were
adjustment issues such as different schedule and social life, possible geographical
relocation, lack of shared time and changes in their sexual intimacy (Day & Chamberlain,
2006; Gilbert, 1982; McLaughlin, 1985). It is evident that the doctorate training became a
collective family goal instead of an individual one (Brannock et al., 2000; Lasode & Awote,
2014).
Sexual intimacy is another area that was reported as having been affected because of the
doctorate. For example, Emma talked about her sexual life and noted that barriers such
as fatigue, lack of time and stress made her feel dissatisfied with her sexual intimacy.
Previous research on sexual relationships during doctoral training found that couples
reported a decrease in the frequency of their sexual activity and trainees complained for
lack of energy and time, fatigue and feeling stressed (Brannock et al., 2000). Another
factor was that Emma, reflecting back on the experiences she had in a sexual violence
service setting, realised that working with trauma survivors led to a kind of vicarious
traumatisation and this affected her sexual life with her partner (Kardatzke, 2009).
Pearlman and Mac Ian (1995) found that therapists who work with trauma survivors
encounter emotionally challenging clinical situations, as sometimes is difficult for trainees
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to maintain the limitations between their psychologist-in-training-self and their personal-
self. Emma, being a novice psychologist, reported finding it difficult to maintain self-care
as a therapist and detach herself from clients’ traumatic descriptions. Therefore, she
ended up carrying her, client’s traumatised and painful descriptions with her and this
resulted to her experiencing intrusive thoughts and flashbacks in public spaces and in
intimate moments. These difficulties could lead to an infringement of working ability
(Trippany et al., 2004), and may therefore have an impact on therapists’ personal
relationships and roles (Collins & Long, 2003). As a result, personal therapy may be very
beneficial to talk about and process these thoughts and feelings.
It is widely known that trainees in doctoral programmes experience high levels of stress
about their finances (Kumary & Baker, 2008; Martinez et al., 2013; Osterlund & Mack,
2012). This was consistent with the findings of this study as the participants had to stop
working or minimise their working hours to become a full-time student. This was because
when they were part-time employed outside of the academic setting, the demands on
time, energy and commitment intensified (Stoeva et al., 2002) and the time they spent on
supporting themselves financially equals less time spent on the training demands. Yet the
financial strain on the higher education doctoral courses takes its toll as the tuition fees
continues to soar (Jabbar et al., 2018; Richardson et al., 2015). As a result, trainees may
need to decide to seek financial assistance from relatives or apply for student loans.
Trainees in this study reported depending financially on their partners, and this greatly
interfered with the harmony in their romantic relationship but also their quality of life as
all of a sudden, the partners were the only providers, while the trainees were the
recipients of financial support. Previous studies have found that this earning
differentiation could be experienced as a distinction in rights and power (Scheinkman,
1988). This is because the trainee may feel uncomfortable with their financial
dependency, while the partner may experience feelings of resentment and overextension
(Scheinkman, 1988). In this research, it was found that trainees and their partners started
feeling that the course dictated their personal lives by changing their lifestyle to fit the
world of the doctorate and its financial demands (Giles, 1983; Silvester, 2011). This
resulted in trainees, like Patrick and Paul, making considered choices about their
budgeting and negotiated on issues such as how often they could go out to socialise.
In this section, the negative impact of the doctorate on trainees’ romantic relationships
was discussed and their difficulties appear to support findings from previous research.
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Important issues discussed include doctoral stressors, break-up possibilities, feelings of
self-doubt and guilt, limited time with partners, losing a nurturing self, sexual
dissatisfaction, financial difficulties, and how these may influence trainees’ romantic
relationships. In the next section, the positive impact of the doctorate on trainees’
romantic relationships will be discussed.
The doctorate’s positive influences on romantic relationships
The analysis of this study identified that, although trainees reported their negative
experiences throughout the training period and the impact of the doctorate had on their
romantic relationships, they also reported a sense of closeness which strengthened their
relationship. Some of the narrators, such as Nicole, Paul and Lily, reflected on the fact
that having a long-term supportive and helpful partner during the doctorate seemed to
be one of the main reasons for their success as they had managed to build strong
foundations in their relationship. According to Stanley, Rhoades, and Whitton (2010, p.
4), “being committed to a relationship for the long-term has a powerful influence on
individual’s behaviors, promoting actions that serve the best interest of the couple rather
than the short-term interest of the self”. Similarly, to Scheinkman (1988), trainees who
have been together in a committed long-term relationship before their admission to the
doctorate, appear to have a strong relationship that is more flexible and open to new
opportunities and this would seem to enable the couple to see beyond any stressors of
the doctoral training. Whereas couples in what they envisaged as being a short-term
relationship prior to the doctoral journey, may get to know each other within the role of
the trainee and this would seem to indicate less resiliencies to deal with difficulties which
may arise in their relationship due to the doctoral training (Scheinkman, 1988).
Participants, such as Paul and Lily, also talked about their thoughts and concerns in
enrolling on the doctoral programme and noted that their partners supported them to do
so.
Another key finding of this study is the emphasis participants put on the practical support
their partners offered them during the doctoral training. Specifically, participants, like
Emma, Rosie and Nicole, reported beginning to appreciate and value their partners’
support especially when they experienced high levels of stress. The doctoral training
expectations often put them in the position to ask for practical help from partners such as
assistance on PowerPoint slides, household chores or proofreading. This is consistent
with previous studies which describe that partners offer significant support through
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understanding, concern and responsiveness to the trainee partner’s distress (Coster &
Schwebel, 1997; Fiammenghi, 2015; Hackland, 2015; Jairam & Kahl, 2012; Kuyken et al.,
1998). Clearly the feeling of neediness was greatly increased (Haynes et al., 2012; Lasode
& Awote, 2014; Lundberg & Frankenhaeuser, 1999). In this situation, the partners were
reported as reacting to the trainees’ stress signals and they tried to lift any unnecessary
burdens, reframed the problems and by providing their empathic support they
diminished further stress (Bodenmann, 2006).
A greater capacity for self-expression and sensitivity in romantic relationships was
reported by trainees in Pascual- Leone’s (2012) study, and it similarly was reflected in the
narratives of the participants in the current research. More specifically, this research
found that, in some trainees’ romantic relationships, the interpersonal communication
between partners actually improved, as they were more open to discuss about their
feelings and had more time to spend together as a couple. This is consistent with findings
from previous studies of counsellors and clinical psychologists, which reported an
enhanced capacity for vulnerability and emotional expression as well as an enhanced
recognition of unhelpful ways of interacting with partners (Dahl et al., 2010; Fiammenghi,
2015; Hackland, 2015; Legako & Sorenson, 2000; Truell, 2001). Furthermore, it was
clearly articulated in some participants’ narratives that they developed non-verbal
channels of communication (Giles, 1983). For example, Nicole expressed that her
husband was there to support her in all different ways during her doctoral journey. Nicole
noted that they developed a non-verbal way of communicating and her partner often left
flowers on her desk as he knew they would cheer her up. Zur (1994) further adds to this
phenomenon that a romantic relationship includes integral aspects such as shared
vulnerability, along with mutual responsibility and commitment, in order to be successful.
Similarly to Nicole, Rosie emphasised the need for closeness from her partner as he
represented a supportive environment for her and she could not have found this support
from anywhere else. Previous research in romantic relationships has shown that, when
there is a healthy and functioning relationship, the partner’s support is clearly notable
compared to any other social support such as friends or neighbours (Giles, 1983).
In this section, the doctorate’s positive influence in trainees’ romantic relationships
identified by the analysis has been discussed in order to indicate how the struggles of the
doctorate enables couples to adapt to difficult situations which may enhance feelings of
increased closeness and a sense of togetherness. By overcoming struggles and finding a
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balance, the couple may develop to be stronger to overcome the doctorate’s obstacles
and also to find meaning and perspective within a shared journey.
As an overall synopsis so far, findings demonstrated both the positive and the negative
impacts the doctorate has on romantic relationships. This category supports previous
studies of Fiammenghi’s (2015) and Alhanati’s (2009), highlighting the doctorate’s
demands and its impacts on romantic relationships. Even though trainees experienced
challenges in their romantic relationship due to the high demands of the training, their
communication developed and improved over time with their partners. This results from
the participants’ greater capacity to understand and interact with their partners
(Fiammengi, 2015; Legako & Sorenson, 2000; Truell, 2001).
In terms of the ideas of love and romance, this study documented a cultural variety of
conceptions about love which represented a common theme of love being important,
culturally specific, including being free and open in participants’ selection of partners and
expression of love. Whereas in the past, literature suggests this was not the case in other
counties both within and outside Europe (Foucault, 1978).
Category 3: Self-development and its impacts on the romantic relationship
The third and final category which was created in this study is Self-development and its
impacts on the romantic relationship and this consists of three subcategories. This
category attempts to answer the third research question (How do narrators present their
self-development and how this may have influenced their romantic relationship?) of the
study because it demonstrates the experiences that narrators described about their self-
development during the doctoral training, and it takes a closer look at how their self-
development affected their romantic relationship. This category reflects a holistic view of
the Professional Doctorate in Counselling Psychology in the UK and its impact on the
trainees’ lives and romantic relationships. As was evident in the literature review chapter,
previous researchers from counselling, psychology and social sciences have discussed the
impacts of higher education degrees in trainees’ personal lives and romantic
relationships. However, the current study sheds light upon the counselling psychology
field and romantic relationships. More specifically, this category provides insight into and
a detailed representation of the counselling psychology trainees’ difficulties throughout
their training and how they have managed to overcome the training’s obstacles, if any. I
will discuss, first, the positive impact trainees’ self-development had on their romantic
relationship and then, secondly, I will refer to the negative impact as well. Moreover, in
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this category I will talk about possible changes or break-up experiences trainees had
because of their self-development.
Self-development impacts positively on the romantic relationship
Despite the challenges counselling psychology trainees narrate during the doctoral
training, positive relationship outcomes and improvements to the relationship came from
these experiences. This is in line with previous studies which suggested that trainees’
romantic relationships seemed - for the most part - to have improved (Fiammenghi, 2015;
Norcross & VandenBos, 2018; Pascual-Leone et al., 2012; Råbu et al., 2016; Truell, 2001).
The differences trainees may have experienced with their partners, were described as
acknowledged and validated instead of overwhelmed or rejected. Therefore, the new
identity that some trainees developed was well received and accepted by their partners.
The interactions participants described propose a more meaningful transformation in
their romantic relationship in which they are able to show vulnerable aspects of
themselves. Some participants, like Lily and Nicole, narrated that their partners were very
supportive of their decision to begin the counselling psychology doctoral training. They
referred to their difficulties during the training and their expectation that their romantic
relationship would endure no matter what, as the break-up was not an option (Robinson
& Blanton, 1993). According to Rusbult’s investment model, when individuals are satisfied
with their romantic relationship, they invest in it and they avoid anything that could bring
the relationship into a danger (Finkenauer & Hazam, 2000; Rusbult, 1983). Furthermore,
the majority of the participants realised, as they were approaching the end of the
doctoral training and graduation, that they reflected on their experiences and they
viewed their romantic relationship coming out as stronger. They justified this
phenomenon as having strong foundations to start with and patience to deal and come
through with the difficult times (Benjamin, 2004). Jensen (1995, p. 189), refers to this
phenomenon as “mature love relationships” which includes both trainees’ and partners’
self-development while recognising and accepting differences and weaknesses (Noller,
1996).
An important finding of this subcategory derives from some participants’ narratives
whereby narrators stated that, by getting involved with the doctoral demands, they
realised that their partners began having a new role in their lives. Partners represented a
valuable break for trainees’ overwhelming world of psychology. For example, Rosie
reported finding emotional comfort in her romantic relationship and that her partner
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provided her a nurturing escape from therapy and academic deadlines. Studies have
found that this support is likely to help the novice counselling psychologist to reduce the
likelihood of burnout (Gerber & Hoelson, 2011; Myers et al., 2012; Sweitzer & King, 2009)
and encourage the ability to set up boundaries (Ronnestad & Skolholt, 2003). In addition,
having this support system can provide trainees with a secure base from which they
derive self-efficacy (Torres & Solberg, 2001). These support systems may provide trainees
with essential space for acceptance and understanding which may help them to have
confidence in their abilities. This is because they serve as a protection against trainees’
stressors (Lawson & Fuehrer, 2001; Malaney, 1987). Without a support system, trainees
may be left to handle difficult situations on their own that eventually may cause minor or
major setbacks to their doctoral journey (Torres & Solberg, 2001).
In addition, interacting and receiving support from partners and family members can help
trainees to feel as an individual outside of the psychology career and improve their
wellbeing (Richards et al., 2010; Sweitzer & King, 2009). Rosie expressed that one of the
activities she implemented with her partner when starting the doctorate was walking
every evening and doing mindfulness together. Previous research has found that when
psychology trainees participating in any form of physical exercise, the symptoms of
depression and anxiety may significantly decrease (Myers et al., 2012; Richards et al.,
2010). However, even though self-care is considered very important for all the novice
counselling psychologists, they may neglect this aspect in the beginning of their training
and more attention is needed on this aspect (Myers et al., 2012; Richards et al., 2010).
Another key issue arising from the present study is the emphasis given to partners’ self-
development during trainees’ doctoral training. Narrators described that their partners
also developed alongside to them and that the extent to which partners were able to
adapt to trainees’ self-development was a significant factor to the strength of the
relationship. This study is limited to the trainees’ perceptions, experiences and self-
development during their training and lacks participants partners’ views, except as
reflected within the participant (trainee) accounts. As a result, this phenomenon requires
further exploration. One of the main qualities trainees commonly reported as developing
in their romantic relationship was the enhanced communication. Participants
demonstrated a transformation in their common way of responding (Golish, 2000) and
they have also developed more meaningful and constructive ways of communicating with
their partners (Fiammenghi, 2015). More specifically, participants reported that even
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though their time was limited and this had a negative impact on the communication
aspect in their relationship, the quality of their conversations greatly improved (Legako &
Sorenson, 2000). This is consistent with previous studies of psychotherapists and clinical
psychologists which found that when training caused both directly and indirectly tension
in trainees’ romantic relationships, the couple managed to resolve the tensions through
communication after recognition of the problematic interaction (Fiammenghi, 2015;
Hackland, 2015; Truell, 2001). Furthermore, a previous study has shown that during
conflict and difficult topics participants felt more comfortable to talk and share their
emotions with their partners and that their relationship satisfaction was greater than
ones which withhold information (Finkenauer & Hazam, 2000). In this research, Emma
seemed to explore and make sense of the development of her relationship as she
described that they managed to set up a system of advanced moral communication. As
described in existing research, couples after developing a deeper communication are able
to recognise theirs and partners’ moral values and discuss about them in a deeper way
(Aron, 2006).
In the previous category, the narrators also emphasised their financial restraints and their
difficulty depending on their partners’ income. They also emphasised the negative impact
of the doctorate on their finances. However, Rosie for example, reported that this
difficult economic situation was a learning experience for her and by accepting her
partner’s financial help, this made their relationship stronger. Bergen and Bergen (1978)
found that couples who were dependent on partners’ income instead of student loans
had enhanced relationship satisfaction. In Paul’s situation, on the other hand, he
mentioned that both him and his partner were postgraduate students for a period of time
and that this was very difficult regarding their finances. However, he mentioned that they
managed to develop shared communication and discuss together for any possible
decisions. This was also evident in a previous study which found that couples who were
both students, were able to share similar experiences and therefore managed better any
possible conflicts (McKeon & Piercy, 1980).
In the above section, the positive impact of self-development on both trainees and their
partners during the doctoral training was discussed. Important improvements in their
romantic relationship include emotional and practical support, beneficial escape from
psychology, partners’ self-development and enhanced and deep communication. In the
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next section, the doctorate’s negative impact on the romantic relationship because of
trainees’ self-development will be discussed.
Self-development impacts negatively on the romantic relationship
The analysis suggested that whereas some participants’ romantic relationships benefited
from the doctorate programme regarding their self-development, some participants
described the doctorate had an opposite effect on their romantic relationships and this
included how trainees developed skills that their partners found difficult to follow or
accept (Pedersen & Daniels, 2001).
Low relationship satisfaction is associated with poor problem-solving, poor listening skills
and poor quality of communication (Boland & Follingstad, 1987; Robinson & Blanton,
1993). This was echoed in this research as participants reported feelings of lack of
understanding and the overall communication was unsatisfactory; the problem was on
how they perceived each other when they communicated resulting in low quality of
communication due to their self-development. During the doctoral training, the trainees
may be learning about healthy relational communication such as listening, reflecting, and
validating feelings which may be unfamiliar to their partners (Osterlund & Mack, 2012).
Noller and Feeney (2002) similarly suggest that the communication styles that a romantic
relationship adopts may affect and destruct the interactions between the partners and
lead to a deterioration in the relationship, while constructive communication may
prevent collapse. Four participants in the present study, mentioned that this lack of
communication began when they started overanalysing everything around them.
Although they stated that their partners were open-minded and curious as individuals,
there were occasions in which their partners appeared irritated by trainees’ newly
developed skill of analysing things. Some trainees tempted to apply their new skills and
knowledge of human behaviour to analyse their romantic relationship that was already
strained by many other stressors related to the doctoral training (Guy, 1987). As a result,
trainees struggled to reconcile their personal identity with the new professional one, as
they noted that it was difficult to separate the role of being a therapist from that of a
romantic partner. They accounted for this as motivated due to self-development and the
need to use their new clinical skills and test them on their partners. However, this
situation may have created problems if the trainee is too often interpreting or “reading
into” conversations and trying to decipher underlying meanings. It also may have caused
their partners to feel ‘pathologized’ or judged, and adopt a rigid style through reprisal or
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distancing themselves from the relationship, which may have further damaged their
romantic relationship (Pedersen & Daniels, 2001).
In general, a potentially unacknowledged impact of counselling psychology training is the
reciprocal emotional impact on trainees’ partners. This idea was implicit in one of the
participants’ narratives, Emma, who mentioned that her partner started to feel
threatened or intimidated as he did not have the same development as her and the
academic inequality was evident. This issue may have led to feelings of jealousness, fear
and resentment towards the trainee (Scheinkman, 1988). This phenomenon indirectly
appeared in Dahl et al. (2010) and Fiammenghi (2015) and perhaps suggesting it may
need further exploration. After graduation these feelings and imbalance within the
relationship may grow as the trainee may feel superior due to their academic status and
this may cause feelings of inferiority to the partner (Pedersen & Daniels, 2001). In
addition, in some cultures it may raise issues of power in cases such as partners feeling
uncomfortable when they receive letters addressed to their significant other as Dr. For
example, ‘Dr. and Mr./Mrs’.
Overall, the participants of the current study described various reasons how their self-
development during their doctoral journey negatively impacted on their romantic
relationship. An emphasis was given on low quality communication and inequality in their
partner’s educational status which connects with wider research. In the final section, the
findings of relationship changes or break-up due to self-development will be discussed.
Relationship changes or break-up due to self-development
The third subtheme was called Relationship changes or break-up due to self-development,
as some participants described that many of the aforementioned issues caused changes
in their romantic relationship and, in some instances, termination of the relationship. One
reason for this, suggested by wider literature, may be that the pressures of training and
the reassessment of personal needs, priorities and differential self-development made
the couples experience insoluble difficulties (Fiammenghi, 2015; Guy, 1987; Sori et al.,
1996). Another reason for this may be that the trainee, even after the doctorate, may not
have any resources or patience left to deal with any relationship issues and provide
emotional support to their partners (Butler, 1990). However, in contrast, it may be that
the partner may have felt tired of being in charge and to continuously support the trainee
emotionally and financially as well as being under the microscope with bewildering
psychological terminology (Butler, 1990).
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A finding from two participants, that chimes with other studies, was that the doctorate
broadened their horizons on different areas. This may be because trainees, during their
doctoral journey, grow personally and practice the skill of self-reflection, while their
partners may seem stagnant or remain in the same place (Kuther, 2008). This made them
realise that they were dissatisfied from their partners and they eventually separated as
they searched for a more suitable partner with similar interests and mindset as them. This
is an interesting point, as it suggests relationship breakdown may be positive as well as
negative experience for an individual. As was described in a section earlier, this is a
common situation in the psychology field (Guy, 1987).
Another finding of the present study is the emphasis given to the changes of roles within
the family unit. It is well-known there is a gendered distribution on the counselling
doctorate courses, with women being the majority and this was also reflected in this
study’s sample of participants. As was primarily discussed in the literature review chapter,
it is suggested by traditional gender-roles that men are breadwinners and women are
nurturers (Lease, 2003). These stereotypic gender-roles could cause tensions in a
romantic relationship, as female trainees start their doctoral journey are often expected
to continue traditional household tasks (McLaughlin, 1985). However, in modern society
there has been a change in gender stereotypes and expectations of social norms and both
men and women place high value on the housework by sharing responsibilities (Gordon &
Whelan-Berry, 2005). Participants in this study, like Nicole and Emma, described that they
had to invest more time in completing the doctoral training leaving them with less time to
deal with any housework and as a result they expected their partners to take up more of
this role. According to Social Exchange Theory, the power within the roles is increased
with more resources brought into the relationship, therefore trainees who earn less
money are expected to be accountable with the household (Homans, 1961). The
counselling doctorate programme may challenge these roles as trainees are not
‘traditional’ postgraduate doctoral students due to the high demanding academic
requirements, clinical placements and personal therapy. As a result, the trainees may feel
insecure with high levels of anxiety due to the loss of structure and normality in their
romantic relationships (Haynes-Burton, 2008; Lasode & Awote, 2014). On the other hand,
when the doctorate starts, trainees’ partners may try to adopt the protector role and
provide more financial and psychological support in the relationship, while sacrificing
their self-development and free time (Lasode & Awote, 2014).
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In terms of the ideas of self and identity development, findings support theoretical ideas
that trainees’ education at a higher education level may develop a different worldview
(Stevens-Long et al., 2012), and experience identity transitions (Clark, 1993; Harrison,
2008; Jazvac-Martek, 2009; Wright et al., 2009; Zipp et al., 2009), and changes that
impact their romantic relationship either in a positive or negative way. This phenomenon
is discussed in previous literature that, within the romantic relationships, the non-student
partner may not be able to follow the trainee’s self-development (Dahl et al., 2010;
Fiammenghi, 2015; Legako & Sorenson, 2000; Sori et al., 1996). Previous literature also
demonstrated that trainees developed communication skills and awareness which may
cause potential threat to their romantic relationship (Dahl et al., 2010; Fiammenghi,
2015; Polson & Piercy, 1993).
In the above section, relationship changes or break-up due to self-development were
discussed and reflected on the context of the existing research findings. This indicated
that trainees’ self-development played an important role not only to themselves but also
to their partners and the overall wellbeing of their romantic relationship.
Researcher’s Reflections
After finishing the analysis chapter, I was ready to move on to the next step, which was to
relate my findings with previous existing literature. This is one of the first studies which
focuses on the impact of the counselling psychology doctorate on its trainees and their
romantic relationships. In the discussion of the first two categories, I managed to find
extensive previous research on self-development and the counselling psychology
doctorate. However, the third category where I investigated both self-development and
romantic relationships in relation to this specific doctorate, lacked extensive research.
The related literature on this topic is dated back to two decades ago nevertheless, I hope
that my findings will give to the readers a new perspective on the topic and will influence
future researchers to focus more on this significant under-researched topic.
Another reflection while I was writing this chapter was that my sociocultural background
could have impacted the research process. As I mentioned on the methods section on the
methodology chapter, I identify myself as white, middle class, non-UK born and in a long-
term romantic relationship. These various sociocultural backgrounds could have
influenced how I understood and interpreted the accounts of the narrators. As was
previously explored, based on my constructivist-subjectivist axiological stance, it would
be a fallacy to even think that I could eliminate my personal values and lived experiences
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in the research-participant interaction and analysis. Since my native language is not
English, perhaps language and cultural differences may have impacted, both positive
and/or negative, the findings (Willig, 2013). For example, some of the expressions and
metaphors used by the narrators were understood based on my own interpretations and
cultural context and not the narrators’ cultural backgrounds. On occasion I found difficult
to interpret during the analysis stage. More specifically, one participant shared during the
interview that he identified himself with “the ugly duckling” fairy-tale. I was not aware of
the particular fairy-tale and after a search on the internet I found that the ugly duckling
turns into a beautiful swan in the end. This could lead to potential misinterpretation in
the meaning-making process or it could lead to a greater interpretative reading
experience which could allow me to remain close to the narrators’ accounts and allow
more abstraction (Eatough & Smith, 2008).
Chapter Summary
In this chapter, the study’s analysis and findings were discussed in an attempt to answer
the three research questions and how the findings relate to the previous existing
literature on this topic. The findings of this research generated important and meaningful
understandings of participants’ self-development which led to their self-development and
clear views of what they want in their romantic relationships. To briefly recap on some of
the major findings which led to the final discussion of this thesis, it is important to note
the findings mainly suggest that participants developed better communication, an
understanding in their romantic relationships and also showed an in-depth awareness of
the qualities of their relationship. However, some participants’ self-development showed
to have a negative impact on their romantic relationships which led, in some instances, to
the termination of their relationship. Even though participants demonstrated great
development in the academic field and showed positive change in their familial
relationships, they also experienced challenges within their interpersonal relationships
with regard to their social life. This was reported to be a result of their advanced
psychological knowledge, which sometimes led them to act as a therapist during social
gatherings. These instances could be initiated by the trainees or their friends asking for
counselling advice. This challenge was ultimately dealt successfully in adjusting to their
new identities and learned skills. An unexpected outcome of this study was that, insofar
as can be inferred from the participants’ accounts, their partners showed to experience
self-development indirectly through their partners’ self-development. This was a
141
consequence of couples’ daily interaction, in-depth discussions, communication and
support provided to participants’ during their assignment work, clinical practice and
thesis work. Another unexpected finding was the occasional negative impact of clinical
practice on trainees’ intimate moments.
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Chapter 7: Implications, Limitations and Conclusion
Overview
In this chapter, I will firstly discuss the implications for counselling psychology and
contribution to knowledge of this study. Secondly, I will then address and acknowledge
the study’s limitations and I will also present my recommendations for further research.
Lastly, I will draw the conclusion of this study by summarising its major stages and
process.
Implications for counselling psychology
In this section, I focus on the counselling psychology implications further to the findings
of this research and I intend to evaluate this study by reflecting on its relevance. This
research could be used as a guide for potential trainees who would like to learn more
about what to expect before they start their doctoral training in counselling psychology or
related fields in higher education, and as it would provide more realistic expectations of
the doctoral training which may reduce their stress levels (Skovholt & Ronnestad, 2003).
In addition, the information generated may be useful, for academic institutions offering
this doctoral training and their liaising clinical placement providers, to understand and
support the trainee counselling psychologists’ subjective experiences.
This study found that the trainees’ initial high expectations of their counselling
psychology doctoral training was not clear, and their early understanding was much
different from what they experienced as the reality. As this unawareness may cause
psychological distress to students, knowledge on course expectations and potential
difficulties could be communicated through the training programme during the initial
stages of their training. Therefore, trainees may have a clear and realistic understanding
of the high expectations and demands of the course and can be guided to address their
difficulties accordingly. For example, training programmes in counselling psychology can
encourage the establishment of self-development groups that could be used initially for
guidance and preparation, to what lies ahead. At a later stage, these groups could further
incorporate any personal and professional issues to support trainees throughout their
doctoral journey.
Self-development groups could also provide additional support to trainees dealing with
personal issues in their romantic relationships caused by the training pressures. This way
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trainees can express their worries and learn new coping strategies when dealing with
stressful situations in their relationships.
A further implication for counselling psychology which stems from the findings of the
present study is related to the value of introducing therapists’ self-development theories
into the training. Trainees both in this study and in others (Kumary & Baker, 2008) have
reported self-transformation. Introducing self and identity theories in the training
curriculum may help trainees to understand the process of personal and professional
change so in cases of potential stress, this knowledge could form as a protective factor
towards their wellbeing.
Developing greater reflective awareness may influence different areas of self-
development in trainees, such as communicating more effectively thoughts, feelings and
narratives as well as developing questions, all of which may enhance the interpersonal
experience when interacting with others at a personal and professional level (Griffith &
Frieden, 2000). This study has highlighted the impact of the counselling psychology
doctoral training on trainees’ self-development. Markedly, after completing the research
interviews, participants expressed the notion that they had not actively reflected on the
impact of the doctoral training on their personal lives and on their self as a whole, and
this may show that their awareness of their self-development was limited. They described
that this mainly resulted from the high demands and stressors of the course. Therefore,
reflective practice is essential to the process of the counselling psychology doctoral
trainings and the trainees’ therapeutic practice. The BPS Counselling Psychology division
highly acknowledges the importance of reflexivity and self-care on therapists (Ramsey-
Wade & Ramsey-Wade, 2014). Reflective practice may be accomplished through different
techniques such as guided open-ended questions (similar to those in the interview
schedule), reflective journaling exercise, creating a mind map or diagram and/or facilitate
discussions with others, as an intervention to inspire trainees and graduates of higher
education to think of the impacts of the training in their personal lives (Chui et al., 2014).
The findings of this study indicated that some trainee counselling psychologists did not
experience the full wealth of support throughout their doctoral journey, and their tutors’
support on balancing work/life commitments was, in their experience, limited or in-
existed. This appeared to be an issue for trainees, from a variety of universities across the
UK, enrolled on this course. The supervisor needs to encourage such conversations in
supervision sessions and help trainees to develop a professional identity with a sense of
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independence (Bruss & Kopala, 1993; Kaslow & Rice, 1985; Riggs & Bretz, 2006; Sommer
et al., 2010) an understanding. It is important for the tutors and clinical supervisors to
work together and tolerate the disappointment of trainees’ emotions and difficult
experiences so as to help them deal challenges in a manageable and transformative way
(Eagle et al., 2007; Gil-Rodriguez & Butcher, 2012).
Health and Social Care professions implications
Although this research project is focused on counselling psychology, the findings may be
used in the broader literature of health and social care professions such as teaching,
social work, nursing and pharmacy. More specifically, as mentioned in the literature
review chapter, the counselling psychology doctorate is the only psychology doctorate
which utilises both the scientist-practitioner model and reflective practitioner model in an
integrative way. Other health care professions, such as nursing, also use the reflective
practitioner model. Nursing requires fast and effective decision making and sometimes
nurses may work ‘in an autopilot mode’ in which they follow set patterns that govern and
direct their actions (Cox et al., 2006). However, to avoid the aforementioned behaviour,
nurses use the reflective practitioner model to understand better their nursing profession
and examine why specific interventions may be used and under what circumstances (Hull
& Redfern, 1996). Reflection helps nurses to expand their self-development by
identifying, questioning and evaluating the knowledge they receive through a reflection
process during their therapeutic activities (Hull & Redfern, 1996).
However, there are other professions such as pharmacy, where reflective practice is not
held with the same regard. More specifically, the focus of education in pharmacy has
tended to be on propositional knowledge memorising facts, instead of taking
responsibility for their own personal learning and care. As a result, in the recent years,
research has emerged which suggests that educational systems need to deliver reflective
models that may be useful and necessary for pharmacy students to use in practice
(Cipolle et al., 2004; Droege, 2003). More specifically, pharmacy practitioners may utilise
the reflective model and become aligned with other health care professionals. Employing
the reflective model may enhance their patient care skills and develop external validity in
regards to patient care outcomes (Cipolle et al., 2004).
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Women in higher education and implications
Another area to which this research project may contribute, to the literature on women
in higher education. Seven out of the nine participants in this research were women, and
this perhaps reflects how women are now more involved in higher education, when
compared to previous generations. There is an extensive literature base supporting that
the percentage of women in higher education has significantly increased in comparison to
previous decades (Lige, 2003; Piccinino & Mosher, 1998). More specifically, in the 1950s,
it was widely understood that women were nurturers, prepared to get married, raise
their children and support their husbands in daily activities (Lige, 2003). Nevertheless, the
men’s priority was to be the main providers and they were the only ones who could
pursue higher education and career paths (Lige, 2003). This phenomenon started to
change with the legalisation of birth control in 1965, as many women started seeking
careers first, rather than having children (Piccinino & Mosher, 1998). Later on, the
Women’s Education Equity Act in 1974 encouraged full educational opportunities for
women.
Today, family roles are being more equally divided on the basis of education and earnings
power, instead of gender, to achieve the best outcome in a family environment (Carvel,
2003). This idea, however, is contradicted by my research findings which show that, due
to the enormous financial demands of the full-time doctorate training, some women in
higher education are forced to depend financially on their partner’s income, an idea that
may take us back to the 1950s, where the man was the main provider financially. Clearly,
women in higher education are still unsupported and face enormous difficulties to pursue
their academic careers and education without prohibitive financial costs.
Contribution to knowledge
The findings indicate that the theoretical ideas about self and identity development
through doctoral training in counselling psychology are likely to apply across a variety of
higher education courses. Throughout this thesis, counselling psychology trainees’ self-
development has been discussed across a variety of higher education courses. More
specifically, this study provides further evidence demonstrating that the counselling
psychology doctorate may facilitate trainees’ learning and development of self-
awareness, self-acceptance, empathy and resilience to change. This study also
contributes to how both the theory and practices of love and romantic relationships
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connect with higher educational experiences. In particular, the demanding circumstances
of the doctoral training in counselling psychology may enhance love and romance in
romantic relationships. This is because self-development enhances the quality of trainees’
romantic relationships and encourages communication between partners. The findings of
this study suggest that trainees understand, empathise and build intimacy within their
romantic relationship. Even though some of the romantic relationships grow and
transform, others disconnect and come to an end when trainees’ self-awareness and
growth has had an effect on their developed needs and expectations about romantic
relationships.
In terms of the methodological contributions, the use of narrative analysis and the
categorical-content model of Lieblich et al., (1998) provided flexibility to explore
participants’ personal narratives in two dimensions synthesised between the content and
the categories. As far as I know, this is one of the first studies focused on counselling
psychology, self-development and romantic relationships using this particular narrative
analysis model. The categorical-content model helped explore how the participants
constructed and described their self-development throughout their doctoral journey and
it is an interpretative model of analysis, it has allowed the analysis to be more fruitful.
This model facilitated the comparison of categories and sub-categories of specific
experiences across a number of participants, and it clearly portrayed participants’ views
attending to the subjective experience of trainees. The suggested findings contribute to
our understanding that romantic relationships are heavily impacted by the counselling
psychology training. Therefore, prevention strategies and awareness surrounding this
issue are necessary to ensure trainees’ wellbeing as it may reduce potential stressors
which add to the overall challenges that the trainees undergo.
Research limitations
Several limitations of this study should be acknowledged. The narrative approach in this
study generated rich analysis and findings of trainee and qualified counselling
psychologists’ experiences. However, it can be argued that the number of participants is
small for a qualitative study. This study used a small purposive sample of nine qualified
and trainee counselling psychologists, which was necessary given the type of analysis and
word limitations. It is widely known that narrative analysis is arguably limited in claims
that can be made to extensiveness (Gockel, 2009). Therefore, unequivocal generalisation
of the research findings to the broader population of counselling psychology doctoral
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trainees (or any other doctorate, for that matter) would be inappropriate. Qualitative
research engages in-depth studies that may produce historically and culturally situated
knowledge. This situated knowledge cannot be simply or directly generalised to predict
future practice. Instead of relying on formal generalisations, this study aims to accomplish
resonance through transferability (Lincoln & Guba, 2000) and naturalistic generalisation
(Stake & Trumbull, 1982). I attempted to produce reports that invite transferability by
“gathering direct testimony, providing rich description, and writing accessibly and
invitationally” (Tracy, 2010, p. 845). Through the process of naturalistic generalisations, I
attempted to help the readers to make their own choices based on their intuitive
understanding of the scene, “rather than feeling as though the research report is
instructing them what to do” (Tracy, 2010, p. 845). In addition, instead of approaching the
analysis as a search for generalisation, I tried to focus on the details and complexities of
each of the participants’ narratives and give them ‘a voice’ as a counselling psychologist
(Goodman et al., 2004). Consequently, I have included for each category several
subcategories to give the readers a more holistic insight into participants’ experiences
and not just a list with a series of findings. I have also included a description for each
participant’s background and a summary of their experiences on both the methodology
and the analysis chapter.
Furthermore, I, the researcher, was the only person who conducted the participants
interviews, analysis and further interpretations of the narratives. One may think that the
researcher’s values or assumptions may have influenced decisions and analysis
interpretations (Appleton, 1995). Stories were generated by the narrators, however due
to the interview process the analysis and findings may be co-constructed by both the
researcher and each participant. Yardley (2008) proposed asking participants for their
feedback on the analysis and interpretations given and if it is representative to their
narratives. However, as I explained in the methodology chapter, following my
constructivist-subjective stance, I have not shared the transcripts or the data analysis
with the participants. The constructivist-subjectivist stance supports the idea that there is
no single defined ‘truth’ and that individuals’ constructs are products of social processes
and interaction between people (Gergen, 1985, 2009). Therefore, the analysis was based
explicitly on my appreciation of the narratives and the meaning, which emerged from
each story, was analysed according to my own interpretations. I acknowledge that an
individual with a different theoretical perspective, social outlook, or background might
consider different themes or features of the interview material to be important. To
148
minimise the consequences of this, I attempted to approach the analysis with an open
mind, as transparent as possible through reflexivity, and I have included narrators’
excerpts throughout the analysis chapter. In this chapter, I have also discussed the
findings in relation to the existing literature and I have noted any thoughts and feelings
towards every aspect of this study. These can be found in the reflective space at the end
of most of the chapters and on the reflexivity chapter.
Another possible limitation was the lack of diversity (largely heterosexual, white British
participants) within the sample group. Firstly, only two men took part in the study.
Although, the analysis may reflect predominantly the view of women trainees in the
counselling psychology doctorate, it could be argued that if there was a gender balance,
some of the findings could be different. Secondly, the participation of this study was
voluntary, and recruitment occurred through posting on Facebook, LinkedIn and the
snowballing effect. It is most likely that participants who chose to take part in the study
were interested in the topic and were prepared to talk freely about their experiences. In
addition, there is a possibility that the very nature of this topic prompted more
conservative responses, as sharing intimate details about one’s personal and romantic
relationships with a relative stranger may be difficult. However, the existence of similar
previous findings from other studies (Fiammenghi, 2015; Polson & Nida, 1998; Sori et al.,
1996) suggests that the participants were sufficiently open to facilitate and share
accurate descriptions and conclusions about the impact of counselling psychology
doctoral training in their self-development and romantic relationships. This could also
suggest that those potential participants who denied taking part in the study or cancelled
due to a busy lifestyle were unwilling to share their story because of unresolved personal
issues. Lastly, all the participants were white UK/Europeans studying in UK Universities.
Therefore, the analysis and findings may not be generalisable to other populations of
counselling psychology doctoral students in other countries.
A further limitation can perhaps be seen to exist in the recruitment process. The
researcher’s decision was to recruit participants from several universities across the UK to
explore a variety of experiences across the training courses. Analysis and findings have
shown that the participants expressed similar experiences, regardless of the differences
in course structures across different universities. However, five of the participants who
attended in this research were from the same doctoral programme. This factor may have
restricted the range of responses about trainees’ unique experiences and the way in
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which their doctoral journey impacted their romantic relationships. They may also have
been concerned about the researcher’s or readers’ impressions.
This study provides an in-depth understanding of self and identity development and how
this is impacted by doctoral training in terms of potential transformation, growth and
changes in romantic relationships. Using narrative analysis and the categorical-content
model of Lieblich et al. (1998), it provided the flexibility to explore participants’ personal
narratives in two dimensions synthesised between the content and the categories.
Overall, this analysis helped to extract valuable experiences of self-development and
romantic relationships by utilising the categorical-content interpretative model, which
made it possible to extract and integrate the emergent categories among all the
participant’s narratives. This process guided an in-depth analysis of meaningful
explanations and provided further knowledge on the topic. The methodology of this study
also enabled a systematic process of reading, analysis and interpretation of the
narratives, through the researcher’s reflexivity, thus, the analysis and conclusions drawn
from it suggests a high degree of trustworthiness.
Recommendations for further research
In this section I provide recommendations for further research. I hope that this research
has enhanced the understanding on how trainees’ self-development during the doctoral
journey in counselling psychology has influenced their romantic relationships, a
significant topic which is understudied in the psychology literature. I believe that the use
of semi-structured interviews allowed the participants to explore and elicit rich and
detailed information on their subjective experiences.
A continuation of this research might utilise a similar focus and research questions but
with a different research design such as IPA (Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis) to
“capture and explore the meanings that participants assign to their experiences” (Reid et
al., 2005, p. 20). This would provide a different perspective and understanding on the
same topic. In addition, this research aimed to gain a deeper understanding on trainee
and qualified counselling psychologists’ personal experiences. Further research in this
area could compare trainees from counselling psychology doctoral training and trainees
in higher education in other social science fields, in order to develop a further
understanding in potential differences between the different fields and how they may
impact trainees’ romantic relationships. This study recruited nine individual trainee and
qualified counselling psychologists; future research could recruit trainees and their
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partners to give a more holistic view on couples’ experiences during the doctorate.
Similarly, future research could include recruiting only trainees’ partners and explore
their perceptions and experiences of living with a doctoral student and if there is an
impact on their romantic relationship.
Furthermore, this study identified specific, unique challenges not mentioned in previous
studies, such as the impact of clinical placements to trainee’s intimate moments. This
raises awareness on some of the issues that occur in clinical settings and to investigate
trainees’ potential vicarious trauma during their clinical practice and how this impacts
their romantic relationships. Finally, this research focused only on trainee’s romantic
relationships with a little insight into other important relationships such as family and
friends. Future studies may also explicitly focus on the doctorate’s impact on trainees’
relationships with family members and friends.
Conclusion
In conclusion, this has been a small scale, qualitative study that has attempted, by using a
narrative analysis interpretative approach (Lieblich et al., 1998), to begin to unravel the
trainee and qualified counselling psychologists’ experiences during their training and the
doctorate’s impacts on their self-development and romantic relationships. The
counselling psychology doctoral training emerges as instrumental in stimulating the self-
development of the trainee which may influence personal relational qualities and overall
self-awareness (Bennetts, 2003; Pascual-Leone et al., 2012) as well as bringing a
multitude of changes both intrapersonally and interpersonally such as in their romantic
relationships (Fiammenghi, 2015; Guy, 1987). For all of the participants in this study, the
primary impact of the doctoral training was recognised in relation to reported
intrapersonal changes. These changes manifested in different ways for each of the
participants and eventually had an impact on their romantic relationships. More
specifically, their self-development helped them to enhance their personal attributes,
values and goals and develop better coping strategies during challenging times. By
sharing their academic and clinical experiences, it was clear that the doctoral journey was
difficult not only at a personal level but also at an academic and clinical level.
In relation to the impact of the doctorate training on romantic relationships, experiences
were shown to be both positive and negative. All participants mentioned that their self-
development had a positive impact on their relationship, and they had noticed that their
partners had also been through this process. However, seven participants recognised that
151
because of the training some of their preferences had changed and to maintain their
relationship, their partners were forced to adjust. Moreover, some participants claimed
to have developed their intellectual and communication skills which reflected back on
their demands towards their relationship, as they realised that it was better to break-up
and seek more desirable traits and qualities from future partners. The findings of this
study were fairly similar to previous research which also found that increasing self-
development was evident among trainees (Alhanati, 2009; Chang, 2011; Hill et al., 2016;
Pascual-Leone et al, 2013). The findings of this study on the doctorate’s impact on
trainees’ romantic relationships were also similar to previous studies (Fiammenghi, 2015;
Dahl et al., 2010; Jairam & Kahl, 2012).
This study also considered the implications for counselling psychology. These implications
would further inform trainees about the doctorate’s challenges and be aware of any
possible impact or influence it may have on their self-development and their romantic
relationships. The contribution to knowledge generated from this research suggests,
among various ideas, that future research could explore this topic but with a different
methodological approach. Follow up research could also recruit trainees and their
partners and more intensively explore couples’ views and experiences during the
doctorate.
As a final conclusion, this research indicates the relevance of theoretical ideas about self
and identity development during the counselling psychology doctorate. It also contributes
to promoting consideration of the relevance of ideas of love and romance across UK
doctoral training courses in counselling psychology. It is important to highlight that the
difficult circumstances of the doctoral training in counselling psychology may transform
and enhance trainees’ experiences, which may have an effect on their romantic
relationships, in some cases positive and others negative. This study, therefore, increases
awareness of important issues of self-development that occur in both educational and
clinical settings and also contributes to the theoretical understandings of love and
romance as they affect students’ experiences in higher education settings.
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APPENDICES
APPENDIX A - Counselling Psychology in the UK
What is Counselling Psychology and its distinctive identity as a discipline?
The development of counselling psychology as a profession in the UK began in the late
1970s as an effort to link the scientific psychology with the humanistic values of
counselling and psychotherapy (Orlans & van Scoyoc, 2009). In the past, these two
disciplines had developed separately and had sometimes competed against each other
for different views in approaches such as natural science versus human science. In 1982,
the British Psychological Society (BPS) Working Party decided to create the Counselling
Psychology Section and offer support to the many psychologists who had trained in
various forms of psychotherapy and counselling (Orlans & van Scoyoc, 2009; Strawbridge
& Woolfe, 2010). By 1994, counselling psychology received its current status of a full
division within the BPS (Corrie & Callahan, 2000) with an emphasis on humanistic values
and an integration of science with reflective practice (Lane & Corrie, 2006). Counselling
psychology has been cited as the third largest division (behind clinical and occupational
psychology), and is the second fastest-growing division (British Psychological Society
Division of Counselling Psychology, 2012). For the purpose of this research, the primary
focus will be on UK counselling psychology training. A well-explained definition that fits
with my educational and training background is the one used by the BPS (2014):
‘Counselling psychology is a distinct profession within the field of
psychology whose specialist focus is the application of psychological and
psychotherapeutic theory and research to clinical practice. Counselling
psychology holds a humanistic value base that goes beyond the
traditional understanding of human nature and development as passive
and linear and views human beings and their experience as inherently
dynamic, embodied, and relational in nature. Its aim is to reduce
psychological distress and to promote the wellbeing of individuals by
focusing on their subjective experience as it unfolds in their interaction
with the physical, social, cultural, and spiritual dimensions in living.
Counselling psychology takes as its starting point the co-construction of
knowledge and as such places relational practice at its centre. The
therapeutic relationship is therefore considered to be the main vehicle
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through which psychological difficulties are understood and alleviated’
(British Psychological Society, 2014, p. 15).
Counselling psychology has its roots in humanistic and existential ideas that focus on the
subjective experiences of individuals and opposes the biomedical understanding of
mental health (Larsson et al., 2012; Strawbridge & Woolfe, 2010). The recent publication
of the fifth edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) initiated debates about the conceptual foundation
of psychiatric diagnosis and, its research background and the impact it has on clients (BPS,
2013). One of the major debates about the classification system is the increased tendency
to medicalise clients’ normal and natural responses to life events rather than justifying
mental distress as part of the normal human experience (Woolfe, 2012).
In addition, counselling psychology is defined by its integrative and relational stance
(Galbraith, 2017; Larsson & Loewenthal, 2011; Manafi, 2010; O’Brien, 2010), in which the
self of the therapist and the development of the therapeutic relationship with clients are
very important for the outcome of therapy (Clarkson, 1996; Lambert & Barley, 2001;
Reupert, 2006). Counselling psychology has expanded with a variety of different
traditions and approaches in psychology such as humanistic, cognitive-behavioural,
psychoanalytic and psychodynamic, constructionist, narrative and systemic perspectives
(Balamoutsou, 2017; Galbraith, 2017; Gkouskos, 2017; Loulopoulou, 2017; Manafi, 2017;
Strawbridge & Woolfe, 2010). The pluralistic ethos that occupies a central place at the
counselling psychology is consistent with the postmodern perspective that there is no
single truth and that each client is unique, and may have different therapeutic needs
based on their sociohistorical contexts (Cooper, 2008; Galbraith, 2017; House & Feltham,
2016; James, 2016; McAteer, 2010; Olsen, 2010; Simms, 2017). Traditional counselling
psychology training in the UK comprises the development of theoretical knowledge;
research skills; therapeutic practice skills (450 hours of supervised therapeutic practice);
and an emphasis upon self-development via personal therapy. It is worth noting that
there are various different models and approaches that now inform counselling
psychology that may invite trainees to elaborate different constructions of self and self-
development. Overall, trainees will be exposed to philosophical and psychological
concepts, applied psychological assessments, formulation, psychological intervention,
evaluation of practice, research and inquiry, diversity and cultural competence, teaching
and leadership skills (Hogan, 2017).
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The scientist-practitioner and reflective practitioner models
The two main models accompanying counselling psychology as a profession are the
scientist-practitioner and the reflective practitioner models (Hanley & Amos, 2017;
Martin, 2010). The scientist-practitioner model enables clinicians to simultaneously utilise
their experiences during applied practice, to support research developed empirically,
while at the same time maintaining their clinical practice. Consequently, this model
allows practitioners to develop advanced methods, deriving from empirical practice,
towards a more refined scientific paradigm in the area of research (Frank, 1984). Whilst
this model has allowed counselling psychology to position itself alongside other
professions such as clinical psychology (Corrie & Callahan, 2000), counselling
psychologists have questioned its valid evidence (Blair, 2010). Therefore, counselling
psychology has chosen to develop its own scientific-practitioner model by emphasising
integration (Bury & Strauss, 2006), plurality of knowledge (Ashley, 2010) and that
multiple approaches may coexist in a wide variety of philosophical and theoretical
perspectives that may help in understanding emotional distress (BPS, 2014). However,
significant dilemmas arose in relation to the current dominance of the medical model in
psychological services and its tensions with counselling psychology’s humanistic values
and phenomenological inquiry (Guy et al., 2012; Hanley & Amos, 2017; Larsson et al.,
2012).
In response to the above limitations of the scientific methods, the reflective practitioner
model was introduced by Schon (1983), to offer an alternative epistemology which
indicates an in-depth exploration of individuals’ processes. This model emerged in
response to the scientific practitioner model, and the reflexive practitioner should be in
the foreground. This model emphasises the ‘role of the reflection and the use of the self
of the therapist’ which underpins the practice of counselling psychology (Rizq, 2010, p.
570).
According to previous research, reflexive knowledge is defined by the practitioners’
increased awareness of their own subjectivity. It is also an essential component in the
counselling psychology profession, a defining element which distinguishes it from other
psychology professions (Cushway, 2009; Hanley & Amos, 2017). The reflective-
practitioner model suggests that the practitioner becomes an external observer of their
own feelings, values and assumptions during therapy and how these may underlie their
behaviour and potential judgements about their client’s distress. This process allows
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practitioners to analyse how their interaction with the client may have impacted the
therapeutic relationship and how these affected their practice (Schon, 1983). It also
involves an analytical process of exploring clients’ important experiences and further
analysing their origins and relevance (Cushway, 2009; Hanley & Amos, 2017; Stedmon &
Dallos, 2009). As a reflexive researcher and practitioner, my thoughts, feelings and
reflections will be further discussed in the chapter 5, Reflexive Analysis.
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APPENDIX B - Literature Review Search Strategy
For the purpose of this study, previous scholarship was accessed and critically evaluated
employing search terms that focused on terms of relationship, change, self, love,
development, identity and higher education training. These terms were used during the
search strategy on the following electronic research databases: ASSIA (Applied Social
Sciences Index), CINAHL Plus, Google Scholar, Ovid (PsycINFO PsycARTICLES, Your
Journals@Ovid), ProQuest, Scopus, Science Direct, Taylor & Francis, Wiley and Web of
Science. Familiarising and synthesising the existing literature, helped me to better
understand and further explore these particular areas of research. West (2011) stated
that it is important for the researcher to keep a balance between the stimulation and
information while remaining unbiased and open to surprise. Therefore, while I was
reading the existing research, I tried to remain openminded with a sceptical stance, thus
exploring and generating ideas, without immersing myself to an excessive degree
(McLeod, 2013). Utilising the snowballing method, while reviewing the initial studies, the
references section was also reviewed to identify any potentially relevant articles. The
selected papers included both quantitative and qualitative studies which examined
different aspects of self-development and romantic relationships. There is little
counselling psychology literature related to trainees’ self-development and romantic
relationships. Therefore, additional literature from research in other fields such as
counselling, psychotherapy, psychology, education, anthropology and economics,
relevant to the impact of graduate study (Masters, PhD, Professional Doctorates) on
students’ self-development and relationships, was also explored and included in this
review.
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APPENDIX C – The three notions of Love
‘Eros’
The term eros (from the Greek erasthai) is used to refer to the passionate desire for
something, typically sexual passion, thus the modern concept of “erotic” (Greek erotikos)
(Liddell et al., 1940). Other philosophers have described eros as the “love of desire” or
“acquisitive love”, hence as egocentric (Nygren, 1953, p. 89), and as “selfish” and a
response to the qualities of the beloved, particularly the beloved’s goodness or beauty
(Soble, 1989, 1990). What is apparent in Soble’s (1990) description of eros is that there is
a transformation in the term, from something sexual to love an object in the “erosic”
sense, meaning to have a reason to love something in a way that responds to its qualities.
Soble’s understanding of eros derives from Plato’s discussion in the Symposium, (an
eponymous platonic) dialogue which described a set of debates on the nature of love and
eros. From the dialogues recorded in the symposium, the ones delivered by Aristophanes
and Socrates, are the most influential and in accordance with individuals’ expressions of
their romantic desires. Although, Aristophanes explained that people are searching for
their alter ego that will make them whole again, Socrates added that people have a
tendency for “yearning for goodness, not just completion” (Plato, 1951, p. 86). By this, he
has been interpreted to mean that when people love something, they try to permanently
possess the goodness or the absolute beauty in it (Plato, 1951, p. 86). There are many
criticisms formulated in relation to Plato’s theory of love, such as his ambivalent attitude
towards sex, women and homosexuality (Amir, 2001; Foucault, 1978; Helm, 2017;
Moseley, 2020). While these issues are interesting, and of course will enter into
constructions of romantic relationships across time and place, I will not address them
further here as Plato’s particular conceptions are not the main focus of this study, even as
his ideas have also informed the debates.
‘Philia’
In contrast to the passionate desire of eros, philia refers to a fondness or friendly feeling
towards not only on friendships but also towards family members, business partners,
community members etc. (Cooper, 1977; Liddell et al., 1940). The English perception of
friendship roughly captures Aristotle’s notion of philia, as he writes “things that cause
friendship are: doing kindnesses; doing them unasked; and not proclaiming the fact when
they are done” (Aristotle, 2004, p. 4). Thomas (1987), after reading the similarities
between eros and philia, argued whether the only difference between romantic love and
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friendship is the sexual involvement of the former, and suggested that these two
concepts are similar to the modern life and the differences people experience.
‘Agape’
After exploring the meaning of eros and philia which is a reason-dependant kind of love,
these can be seen as sharply contrasting with agape, which has been characterised as a
kind of love that does not focus on the value of something. Agape primarily refers to the
Christian tradition and the paternal love of God for all people, along with the love people
have for God. Agape also extents to the love people have for each other – a kind of
brotherly love (Soble, 1990). Agape is described as “spontaneous and unmotivated”
(Nygren, 1953, p. 85) and instead of responding to the former value in its object, agape’s
scope is “to create value in its object and therefore to initiate our fellowship with God”
(Nygren, 1953, p. 87-88). Agape attracts elements from both eros and philia as it forms a
perfect kind of love “that is at once a fondness, a transcending of the particular, and a
passion without the necessity of reciprocity” (Moseley, 2020, para. 12).
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APPENDIX D - Recruitment emails to university course administrations
Dear sir/madam,
I am a second year counselling psychology trainee at the University of Manchester. I was wondering if you would be able to send around details about my research to fellow trainees at [University’s name] to see if they would be interested in taking part in my study. The details are below.
Thank you,
Aspasia Ftenou
Counselling Psychologist in Training
Department of Psychology
University of Manchester
Manchester PC
Romantic Relationships Research
Are you interested in taking part in a study exploring trainees' and newly qualified therapists’ accounts of their experience of undertaking the Doctorate in Counselling Psychology and its impact on their romantic/intimate relationships?
My name is Aspasia Ftenou and I am a Counselling Psychologist in training at the University of Manchester. I am looking for trainees in the third year of the doctorate or newly qualified willing to discuss the impact of training on their romantic relationships. My research will involve a face-to-face interview at a location convenient to you. If you live far away from Manchester, a Skype interview could be possible. I would be grateful for your participation. I aim to complete the interviews by February 2018.
If you would like to take part in this research, or would like further information, please contact me at [email protected]. This study has ethical approval and is being supervised by Professor Erica Burman.
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APPENDIX E - Recruitment Flyer
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Appendix F - Interview schedule
Explain to participant: I am interested in your experiences about your romantic
relationship during your doctoral training, any thoughts and feelings about those
experiences and if during this doctorate you had any personal development or personal
growth. There are no right or wrong answers, you are the expert in your experience.
Four demographic questions
1. What is your age at last birthday?
2. How would you describe your ethnicity or cultural background?
3. What is your marital status (married, living with partner, not living with partner
but in a long term relationship).
4. What is the duration of your relationship?
5 open-ended questions
1) How would you describe your personal growth through this Doctorate in
Counselling Psychology?
a. Think about your life in general… How would you think about your growth
in terms of yourself, your intimate relationship, family, friends,
professionally or even spiritual?
2) What is important for you in a romantic/intimate relationship?
3) How would you say your relationship with your partner or (ex-partner) has
developed over the duration of the course?
a) Can you specifically recollect your relationship experiences during the
different stages of your course like first, second and third year?
4) How have your experiences with your romantic relationship entered into/reflected
on your clinical practice?
a) So just to get back to the question, Did your relationship experiences
had any impact to your work?
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5) From what we discussed here today, what are your reflections?
6) Is there anything that we haven’t covered that you feel would be important to
add?
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Appendix G - Participant Information Sheet
SELF-DEVELOPMENT IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY DOCTORAL TRAINING
AND ITS IMPACTS ON ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS: A NARRATIVE ANALYSIS.
Participant Information Sheet
You are being invited to take part in a research study as part of a Doctorate Thesis in Counselling
Psychology. Before you decide to take part it is important for you to understand why the research is being
done and what it will involve. Please take time to read the following information carefully and discuss it
with others if you wish. Please ask if there is anything that is not clear or if you would like more
information. Take time to decide whether or not you wish to take part. Thank you for reading this.
Who will conduct the research?
Thank you for your interest in participating in this research. This research is conducted by Aspasia Ftenou
who is a Trainee in the Professional Doctorate in Counselling Psychology at the University of Manchester
The researcher is: Aspasia Ftenou
Address: Doctorate in Counselling Psychology
School of Education
Ellen Wilkinson Building
The University of Manchester
Oxford Road, Manchester, M13 9PL
Title of the Research
Doctorate in Counselling Psychology and its impact on romantic relationships: Trainees perspectives.
What is the purpose of the research?
I am interested to explore trainees’ accounts of the Doctorate in Counselling Psychology and its impact on
their romantic/intimate relationships. In addition, the study will focus on the exploration of trainees’
personal growth during the training and how this growth influences their relationship.
209
Why have I been chosen?
You have been invited to participate because you are a trainee counselling psychologist in the final year of
the course, and who currently has a romantic relationship with a minimum duration of two years. There will
be between 6 – 10 interviewees participating in the research.
What would I be asked to do if I took part?
If you decide to take part, I would ask you to read and sign a consent form. We would arrange for you and I
to meet at a suitable location for an informal interview about your experiences in your romantic
relationship during the doctoral training and your personal development throughout these three years. In
the interview I will be interested in hearing your stories about your relationship and how/if this doctoral
training had an impact on you. The meeting will last for approximately 45-90 minutes and will be audio
recorded. Throughout the interview you would have the right to stop at anytime or to not include sections
of the interview if you felt the conversation was too sensitive.
What happens to the data collected?
The audio recording of our conversation will be transcribed into text by the researcher. The audio
recording will be destroyed once it has been transcribed. The electronic transcribed document will be kept
in a password protected file. Only the researcher will have access to the transcription. Some extracts from
the transcription may be published in the thesis report and possibly as a journal article. The extracts will be
anonymised (meaning that no one will be able to identity it is you) using a pseudonym (a different name)
making them unidentifiable.
How is confidentiality maintained?
Every effort will be made to ensure confidentiality is maintained. All collected data will be encrypted and
stored securely in a file that is password protected. Only the researcher will have access to the file. Once
safely stored the audio recording will be deleted from the audio electronic device. Transcribed interviews
and data analysis documents will be stored using encrypted password protected files. Any hard copies of
transcribed or analysed data will be securely locked in a storage device which only the researcher will have
access to. Participant anonymity will be ensured in all aspects of data collection, analysis, and publication.
Pseudonyms will be used to refer to participants ensuring there will be no identifiable details in the thesis
report. All of the data from the interview will be destroyed five years after dissemination of the findings.
These safeguards are in compliance with the ethical guidelines for research from the University of
Manchester SEED, the British Psychological Society (2010) and Health and Care Professionals Council
(2012).
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What happens if I do not want to take part or if I change my mind?
It is up to you to decide whether or not to take part. If you do decide to take part you will be given this
information sheet to keep and be asked to sign a consent form. If you decide to take part you are still free
to withdraw at any time without giving a reason.
Will I be paid for participating in the research?
There is no payment for taking part in this research.
Where will the research be conducted?
The research involves meeting for one interview lasting between 45 - 90 minutes.
Will the outcomes of the research be published?
The findings from the research will be published in a thesis report to be assessed by the University of
Manchester. The findings may also be published in psychological journals and/ or presented at relevant
conferences.
Who has reviewed the research project?
This project has been approved by the University of Manchester Research Ethics Committee.
What if something goes wrong?
Contact Information for help or advice please contact the researcher: Miss Aspasia Ftenou, Trainee
Counselling Psychologist, Ellen Wilkinson Building, University of Manchester, Oxford Road, M13 9PL, email:
Are there any risks involved?
We don’t anticipate any particular risks to you with participating in this research; however, there is always
the potential for research participation to raise uncomfortable and distressing issues. For this reason we
have provided information about some of the different resources which are available to you. If you are a
University of Manchester student you can also use the university counselling service, see:
https://www.counsellingservice.manchester.ac.uk/get-help/ or email
[email protected], or telephone 0161 275 2864. If you are not a student at University
of Manchester or you would prefer an off campus counselling service the following website lists free or low
cost counselling services in the local area: http://www.mhim.org.uk/gettinghelp/talking%20therapies.html.
What if I want to make a complaint?
Minor complaints
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If you have a minor complaint then you need to contact the researcher(s) in the first instance.
Researcher’s details: Trainee Aspasia Ftenou, [email protected]
Supervisor’s details: Professor Erica Burman , [email protected]
Formal Complaints
If you wish to make a formal complaint or if you are not satisfied with the response you have gained from
the researchers in the first instance then please contact the Research Governance and Integrity Manager,
Research Office, Christie Building, University of Manchester, Oxford Road, Manchester, M13 9PL, by
emailing: [email protected] or by telephoning 0161 275 2674 or 275 2046.
What Do I Do Now?
If you have any queries about the study or if you are interested in taking part then please contact the
researcher(s)
Researcher’s details: Trainee Aspasia Ftenou, [email protected]
Supervisor’s details: Professor Erica Burman, [email protected]
This Project Has Been Approved by the University of Manchester’s Research Ethics Committee
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Appendix H - Consent Form
SELF-DEVELOPMENT IN COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGY DOCTORAL TRAINING
AND ITS IMPACTS ON ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS: A NARRATIVE ANALYSIS
CONSENT FORM
If you are happy to participate please complete and sign the consent form below.
Please initial box
1. I confirm that I have read the attached information sheet on the above project and have had the opportunity to consider the information and ask questions and had these answered satisfactorily.
2. I understand that my participation in the study is voluntary and that I am free to withdraw (1 week maximum) at any time without giving a reason and without detriment to my treatment/service/self.
3. I understand that the interviews will be audio recorded, transcribed and analysed.
4. I agree to the use of anonymous quotes in any written research reports.
5. I agree that any data collected may be passed to the researcher supervisor
6. I agree that any data collected may be published in anonymous form in academic books or journals
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I agree to take part in the above project
Name of participant
Date Signature
Name of researcher
Date Signature
This Project Has Been Approved by the University of Manchester’s Research Ethics Committee
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Appendix I - Fieldnotes
FIELDNOTES
Interviewee: Contact date:
Location:
Written by:
Initial impressions
Anything important about their physical appearance (body language) or mannerisms
Summarize info you got (or failed to get) on each target question for this contact
Anything else that struck you as salient, interesting, illuminating or important in this
interview
What new hypotheses, speculations, or hunches were suggested by the interview?
What new (or remaining) questions do you have in considering the next interview?
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Appendix J - Fieldnotes Example
FIELDNOTES
Interviewee: Emma Contact date: 17/7/18
Location: Library
Interview Written by: Aspasia
Initial impressions
She was very open to what she shared to me even about her sexual life. She had huge
growth in her life through the doctorate and she described that all her life changed and
finally she is able to do the think that she always wanted, to help others but this has a
huge impact on her relationship.
In the 1st question, she mentioned that before she started the doctorate, she was very
fun and playful enjoying her life and her relationship with her boyfriend. Then 6 months
before she entered the doctorate she got married and then she started the doctorate.
She expressed that from the time she entered the doctorate and everything changed. She
stopped being funny and she became more serious and then she became more organised
due to the course’s responsibilities.
In terms of friends she described herself as their psychologist. Instead of empathise and
giving advices like she used to do she became more pragmatic with exploring the issue
and give solutions. This is alright for others but she feels they take advantage of her and
they like it, and she feels the friendship is not the same anymore.
In terms of family she became more understanding about their issues and she spends
more time talking to them and explore their situations. She is not acting like a
psychologist to them.
In terms of religion lots of changes happened. She is catholic and she goes to the church
in a weekly basis. Through the doctorate she started spending exploring in a more
existential way that there is something else there. If it is God, bad eye, etc, there is
something and she doesn’t want to believe in something specific but being open and
accepting everything. The doctorate helped her thinking about spirituality through the
lectures she attended.
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In the 2nd question, she found it difficult to answer it and I had to give some explanations
and examples. She told me that it is important for her the other person to share the same
values with her and especially about religion. Religion is very important for her as a
person especially to share that with her husband.
In the 3rd question, the most important theme was the time. She didn’t have so much
time to spend to her husband. She was focus on her uni work and nothing else. She even
started to arrange when they will have sex and usually they didn’t have as when she was
available, her husband wasn’t. She became more organised with everything and she was
very happy on what she was studying and they started having deeper conversations with
each other. One thing she noticed is that she wasn’t anymore fun and this brought
problems into the relationship. She also didn’t have time to clean the house and cook and
in most of the cases her husband did it but one day they had an argument as her husband
had the expectation of her cooking after work and the feminist side woke inside her.
In the 4th question, when she was working to the sexual unit in the beginning every time
they had sex she was thinking about some clients that they were raped but she didn’t
disclose that to her husband and she reflected on and overcame it by herself. In terms of
diversity and religion she was empathised with her clients from Asia more as her husband
is Indian and she was able to understand their position when it came to arranged
marriages and discrimination. She was more able to reflect without disclosing about her
husband’s nationality. She was very careful to the way she was given answers.
In the 5th question, she didn’t have something else to add but she felt that she was
reflecting only to negative experiences and not positive ones and she was trying to
remember the positive.
Themes
Course helped her to connect with religion more
After entering the course, becoming the friends’ psychologist
Communication became deeper with husband after entering the course
Impression of overall negative experiences instead of positive
Identification of herself with clients while having sex
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Empathising more with clients relating to similar religion experiences
Feminism issues due to men’s expectations about household
Becoming more organised due to course’s responsibilities
Anything important about their physical appearance (body language) or mannerisms
She was very confident and open to what she shared. She was sitting in a chair with her
legs on another chair. Sha asked me to keep a pen in her hands as a fidgeting option. She
was laughing and sometimes when she was thinking she was looking somewhere else.
Summarize info you got (or failed to get) on each target question for this contact
She answered all the questions in an analytic way.
Anything else that struck you as salient, interesting, illuminating or important in this
interview
She was talking mainly about the changes and all the negative experiences she had from
this doctorate to herself and relationship. She noticed that at the end of the interview
and she tried to add some positives even if I reassured her that she doesn’t have to
overthink about it. She found difficult in the end to add some positives ones.
She didn’t mention at all personal therapy and only little on financial difficulties. The fact
that she talked about her sexual life and private moments was very interesting.
What new hypotheses, speculations, or hunches were suggested by the interview?
None
What new (or remaining) questions do you have in considering the next interview?
None
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Appendix K - Jefferson Coding System
Jefferson System used in the transcription process
°word° quieter speech
word louder or emphasised speech
WORD even louder speech
word= discernible gap between turns of speech
=word no discernible gap between turns of speech
↑word↓ indication of pitch difference
(.) pause, too short to time
(.1) timed pause, numbers reflect seconds
( ) indiscernible speech, or if words inside brackets, guessed speech
[word] overlaps in speakers turns, brackets indicate start and finish
wo:rd indication of drawn out syllables
>word< quicker speech
<word> slower speech
.hh intake of breath
.pt lip smack
((sniff)) non-verbal element within transcription
Added by myself:
{ word } sarcastic tone
/word/ sigh
(?) tone which may (or may not) indicate a question
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APPENDIX L - Data Analysis – Stage 1
Example of Data Analysis – Stage 1
Files\\1. Amelia Transcript - § 27 references coded [ 23.85% Coverage]
Reference 1 - 0.89% Coverage
This is how we become very complex people thinking about different circumstances and
then your needs change. So my way of being. In a relationship during the course will
probably be different. And I would probably respond differently. This is my experience
from the course. I have a different kind of relationship from the one probably I would
have.
Reference 2 - 0.60% Coverage
Doing a course like that. Would be. A horrendous journey without having someone that
would care about you and trust that you have some kind of attention from that person
tells you someone I know. Comfort. In a way. It can get very crazy.
Reference 3 - 0.87% Coverage
You can get into crazy situations with this course so feeling lonely into a foreign country.
Being away from their family in a way some of your friends. Could be quite challenging for
someone that would experience this idea. So. I think the whole idea of having a
relationship yes it’s important at the end of the day. For anyone at least for me.
Reference 4 - 1.00% Coverage
and then through the course and the difficulties and the challenges. It almost brought us
closer because I suddenly felt the need that I need to have someone with me much closer
than I used to have because I haven’t had my family with me or my friends. So. So maybe
I actually felt that. I really <missed that> my partner and. I needed to develop a bit more
at the same time. He probably felt the same.
Files\\2. Lily Transcript - § 14 references coded [ 10.43% Coverage]
Reference 1 - 0.58% Coverage
For him that he feels in a way that he married up so he already thought before I even
started the doctorate that he was lucky to have me. And the fact that I did a degree and
then a Doctorate had just seems to have added to his admiration if you like of me and
220
how hard I worked.
Reference 2 - 1.20% Coverage
One thing I heard at the start of my doctorate from another lecturer was that you know
you’re probably gonna end up. Splitting up. Most people divorce during their doctorates
and yet I was <completely horrified> to hear that and I told him as well that and he was
saying well you know that’s not I can’t see why that would happen. But it did stay in my
mind for the whole of my life because I knew that there would be huge change. This is a
huge undertaking. And I would need support and I couldn’t guarantee I was gonna be the
same person coming out the other end.
Reference 3 - 0.84% Coverage
he was interested in what i was doing. I would just talk I wouldn’t talk about client work
obviously but I would say you know the training and that sort of thing. What I’ve been
doing and what I’d learned to if I was having a bad day or good. So we we carried on do
all those so it was treated quite normally which. But in some ways it’s not this is a big
undertaking but I thought that was good for us.
Reference 4 - 0.31% Coverage
he was just really happy for me and happy to graduate and then we you know we it was
after that. That’s. The the biggest. Feeling of change over me.
Files\\3. Donna Transcript - § 11 references coded [ 8.53% Coverage]
Reference 1 - 0.72% Coverage
So within about 10 minutes of getting back and being mind up and upset and texting my
friend I sent her another text and said actually give me a minute I am gonna wait John to
come back and the he came back and he was really apologetic like it wasn’t how do you
think it was. I didn’t I didn’t do it for that reason and I’m really sorry that that’s how it
looked. And then we were OK.
Reference 2 - 1.02% Coverage
You know because he he hadn’t meant any hurt by and I could see that he hadn’t. And I
knew that I had overreacted because I wind myself up. So I didn’t go and stay somewhere
else. Whereas. Prior to the training that I wouldn’t have done any of that I I would have I
would have done the first bit I would have text the friend I would have been staying at
221
the friend’s house and stay furious. And probably wanting to to punish him on some level
for like. I’m not I’m not staying here tonight because you’ve hurt my feelings and I am
going.
Reference 3 - 0.46% Coverage
But I no longer. Want that to be the relationship that is the rest of my life. I want to be
with someone now who. Who. Isn’t waiting for me to get to the point. If you see what I
mean they they are just interested in what I might have been doing.
Reference 4 - 0.61% Coverage
So. Yeah. It would be nice to have a relationship now where. Where I’m not sort of. I’m
not losing that bit of experience that I’m not losing that. Sort of. Just connection and
interest in. Because it’s not like he wasn’t interested and you know he did care. And does.
Care. But that just wasn’t a way that he expressed.
Reference 5 - 0.88% Coverage
I don’t regret the eight years of our relationship. It was really nice but I just sort of come
to a point actually with my new marriage in like three months ago. It’s really terrible but I
so we got married and then. Various reasons I would look into it but yeah. There was
some little spark in me of thinking. Oh that’s the relationship I’m having for the rest of my
life not like I already knew. Yes. But there was something that kind of shifted in thinking.
Files\\4. Nicole Transcript - § 33 references coded [ 19.22% Coverage]
Reference 1 - 0.37% Coverage
And I think when you trust someone you feel safe. And. That has a huge impact on you
know what i mean? you Know you feel really. Allow someone to grow. to Change. Again
that flexibility not your like something that put you in.
Reference 2 - 0.64% Coverage
Honestly I think one of the biggest things that. Has. Meant the success of my husband
myself is. No one. i am not A completely different person to the person he married. I’m
not the same person. And he’s not either you know we go back to the core self. The core
self is the same cause I don’t think that changes. But. We. Yeah. Very. Facilitative. Is that a
word even (?) Of each other.
222
Reference 3 - 0.75% Coverage
I don’t know There may be a relationship out there where people have never been
through hard times but in 30 years. You can come out and you’re going to hit rock bottom
a few times. Sometimes you don’t act together. Sometimes you’ve done it (.) As a couple
erm And that’s where I think they trust in the safety and all those come really there
fundamentally you haven’t got I think there are probably times in the relationship that
they do split up.
Reference 4 - 0.31% Coverage
I think I have the mindset of being open and willing to change and not prejudiced all
those sorts of things (.3) erm I. just try to think. And I think that is the excitement to
relationship
Reference 5 - 0.72% Coverage
Always you can get bored. Well I don’t know. I have not been in a relationship that’s got
boring but i am starting thinking if my husband was exactly the same living with the same
person. not a Change in 30 years I might turn a lit bit {hmm really}. What you talk about
again I don’t know it’s difficult to say. But. if You’re changing and evolving. Then. I don’t
know you know it’s always a little bit new and a little bit exciting.
Files\\5. Sophia Transcript - § 23 references coded [ 11.64% Coverage]
Reference 1 - 1.18% Coverage
and actually although that may have Kind of isolated from my partner who didn’t really
understand that time, it made me it bonded me with some of my friends that would go
through it at the time. Now with my friend who she’s going through now, and I can say I
remember all of this like and I am able to understand I get it it’s awful when people don’t
understand like I can I really empathize with it haven’t been through it so me and my
friend Lydia so she is counselling psychologist we were on the course together and she
was my friend I didn’t know well going in but I know really well now.
Reference 2 - 0.44% Coverage
What is important to me at the moment is that I have someone that I’m sexually
attracted to. I have someone who I. Have sex with I enjoy having sex with (laugh). It’s
important for me to have someone who I find attractive.
223
Reference 3 - 0.33% Coverage
It’s important for me to be with someone who treats me well who treats me the way that
they would treat a friend as in the same respect that they would give to a friend.
Reference 4 - 0.99% Coverage
And I was trying to explain that like racism is can be really like fly under the radar. And so
like using a term like like lucky lucky man or like describing them as them and us as us
than we’re all people kind of like that is stigmatizing within itself. And he he didn’t he
didn’t get the like and I feel that like my previous partner would never ever even use the
phrase lucky lucky man because he would understand kind of how that can manifest quite
subtly in language and then meets a prejudice.
Reference 5 - 0.40% Coverage
And I learned a lot about feminism and I learned a lot about erm and I think that just it
gave me a perspective that made me more dissatisfied with my relationship more critical
about his behaviour.
Files\\6. Paul Transcript - § 36 references coded [ 25.04% Coverage]
Reference 1 - 0.97% Coverage
But at first I must admit when I first went I was just literally getting round to getting
towards the end. I was getting more and more just like hmm How do we deal with that.
because he is the doctor and I like that and if I’m the doctor then. You know he was.
Messing up our sort of you know I was you know. So well now I’ve got my doctor too
what does that mean? (laugh) I need to look after me. but you know I overcome that I still
look up to him anyway intellectually so the doctor title hasn’t changed that.
Reference 2 - 0.36% Coverage
But that’s that’s something I guess (.) On a practical level is about the doctor on a deeper
level and on a psychological level it’s about identity and it’s about looking up to someone.
Reference 3 - 0.74% Coverage
for me but for me trust is absolutely absolutely essential. We trust each other. I couldn’t
have a relationship with no trust and absolute trust. You know. This you know that’s still
being on an equality level where there’s no one that’s kind of dominating the other in
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whatever way and being (.) In a (.) In a partnership where you trust the other person
completely you know.
Reference 4 - 0.78% Coverage
I can get really grumpy when I’m tired when I’m overworked when I’m stressed and Name
me one day in the doctorate where I didn’t feel tired overworked and stressed (laugh). So
I know and I do hear quite a bit that I am grumpy. Unless that’s an impact you know. erm
So (.) I would say that the grumpiness sometimes very well shared (laugh). You know a lot
(laugh) of we have disagreements on that (laugh).
Reference 5 - 0.67% Coverage
but there’s been one impact you know of course being tired being stressed being anxious
at times almost for the time being overworked. Being virtually never available it is just like
you’re always busy you’re always have something to do. You always have this you know
you always have something on your mind. So that has had an impact as well
Files\\7. Rosie Transcript - § 35 references coded [ 27.02% Coverage]
Reference 1 - 0.96% Coverage
So at the beginning it caused a lot of friction. Because he thought I was ignoring him more
and not willing to solve the problem. but with time i just told him it’s that I just can’t think
with you being so in my face. And now I think I’m much more confident to basically. Say
OK hang on now I’m going to think about I’m going to come back I’m not ignoring you I’m
just gonna make sure that I am not reacting to you. I’m thinking about it.
Reference 2 - 0.65% Coverage
I was able to distance myself from my own anxiety and I think this doctorate and
whatever you know like. It’s not just the doctorate but the whole like routes to being a
psychologist helped me to gain maybe. Some. Perspective on my own self. So just
distancing myself from how I would react.
Reference 3 - 1.08% Coverage
Cause i think I would hate to think that I’m causing somebody. Somebody else distress
without even being aware. So if if somebody criticise me I’d take it quite personally then.
But then i have to sit down is it just them being idiot or me being an idiot. and if I
acknowledge that I’m being an idiot I am quite happy to just apologize and say Okay I can
225
see. I’m reacting and I’m up to. And oh how can you make it stop or I’ll go. I will reflect, I
will write and i find comfort on writing.
Reference 4 - 0.27% Coverage
I think another point what I would really what I’m really want in a relationship and that it
would be able to grow together
Reference 5 - 0.62% Coverage
I mean we have lots of discussions with Jack and now actually I think we tried. I feel really
confident to be time and place to say if I don’t like something about him. But there is
<nothing> he doesn’t know that I don’t like about him. So they will be the trust and
transparency.
Files\\8. Patrick_Transcript - § 40 references coded [ 27.94% Coverage]
Reference 1 - 0.30% Coverage
Although i do say to my partner. That she’s almost to the doctorate with me except she’s
not going to get a certificate at the end.
Reference 2 - 0.30% Coverage
in terms of my relationship. erm /sigh/ It’s. A game it’s like a two sided coin. I think it’s
helped me be probably a better partner
Reference 3 - 1.27% Coverage
but the actual course itself has been quite. Restrictive in terms of that relationship
because of time. I suppose that’s the key thing. Time. Is the problem. I think your
relationship suffers because of time. And. Prioritize and that is really difficult because you
know you can say I’m gonna take some time for myself or take some time out with my
partner. But you know that doesn’t get your assignment done that isn’t going to get your
client hours up. So it’s like practicality versus idealistic. First an idealistic viewpoint I
suppose.
Reference 4 - 0.68% Coverage
But I think I’m a better partner because I’m more attractive. I understand. That it’s more
than just me in a relationship. That there’s two people in the communicate and I suppose
that little tales When you’re with someone as long as I’ve been. You know you feel like
226
this person inside out.
Reference 5 - 0.68% Coverage
But for some reason when I did this course. It almost felt like I was another level. Like
there was like little things I’d never noticed before just through learning. erm. and signs
of psychoanalyse my partner. But it doesn’t feel like it just feels like I’m that equipped.
For better term.
227
APPENDIX M - Data Analysis – Stage 2
Example of Data Analysis – Stage 2
Nodes
Name Files References
General Impact of the doctorate on trainees 9 90
1st year of the doctorate was the hardest due to lots of changes and demands
3 5
3rd year as the most challenging due to thesis and placements 2 3
Attractiveness for each other is important during the course 1 1
Case discussions as a way for constant engagement on different experiences and self-confidence
1 2
CBT helped her to understand her negative patterns of thoughts towards her anxiety
1 1
Characterising doctorate as more demanding and difficult than PhD 1 2
Choosing this profession for financial security and help others 1 1
Clinical Psychologist supervisors are not aware of our profession and what we do
1 1
Clinical supervisors' help during difficult situations 1 1
Communication as the most important element in a romantic relationship
1 1
Creating doctorate friendships due to the lack of understanding by the public
1 1
Determination feelings helped trainee go through difficult moments in docotrate
1 1
Difficult emotions and lonelyness while writing thesis 2 2
Difficult relationships in cohort causing difficult feelings 1 1
Doctorate as a huge positive impact in her life 1 1
Doctorate as a position of priviledge and its huge positives 1 1
Doctorate as most difficult degree as the need to seek support 1 2
Doctorate caused serious health and mental problems due to its pressures
2 2
228
Name Files References
Doctorate helped her to deal with and overcome her own vicious cycle of anxiety
1 1
Doctorate helped her to put brakes on stress and think clearer 1 1
Doctorate negatively push to many limits 1 1
Doctorate was more difficult and stressful from what it was advertised in first-hand
1 3
Doctorate's demands led to high levels of stress 1 1
Doctorate's financial pressures 2 2
Doctorate's negative aspects due to hard work 1 1
Emotional pressure of succeding doctorate due to the vast finance commitment
1 1
Entering the doctorate was an intense period of personal growth it was hard to escape
4 5
Equality as an important aspect in romantic relationship 1 1
Feeling homesick as not alowed to have free time 2 3
Feeling overwhelmed by the different elements of course 1 1
Feeling tired and old after completing the doctorate 1 1
Finding a job at the end of doctorate helping financially 1 1
Finding difficult to finish on time due to academic stressors 1 1
High levels of anxiety dealing with the course and managing everything else
1 1
Importance of doctorate's practice element 1 1
Importance of encourangement when entering the doctorate due to vulnerability
1 1
Learning a new routine and being adaptable on 2nd year with placements
2 2
Life experiences have not impacted the way of practice in therapy 1 1
Lose of old self while seeking the new self 2 3
Love is not quality, it is a feeling you feel 1 1
Mindset of stress and anxiety changed because of doctorate 2 2
229
Name Files References
Not fortunate enough to receive funding as clinical doctorate 1 1
Personal therapy and course helps you to differentiate personal from professional life
1 1
Personal therapy and supervision, a well-rounded support system 1 1
Personal therapy helped her sanity 1 1
Placement workload made him so tired in dangerous self-care levels 1 1
Recovery time is essential after completing the doctorate 1 1
Ruining your brain by writing thesis 3 3
Sometimes you forget This profession is part of your life and not everything in your life
1 1
Starting the doctorate with no idea how it will be like 1 1
Surprised of finishing doctorate due to the academic demanding work 1 1
The importance of self-help during the training 1 1
The modules of the course introduced her to emotional freedom and spirituality
1 1
The need of weekly personal therapy for the whole duration of the course
1 1
The need to influence and warn people to not start this doctorate 2 2
The need to share same religion with partner 1 1
Thesis brain fog and its negative impact on memory 1 1
Trainee's impression that everything she shared were negative 1 1
Trust and being accepting for who she is are the most important in a romantic relationship
1 1
Understanding the use of personal therapy and how much helpful is for trainees
2 2
Wondering if her brain will again be the same like before the doctorate 1 1
Writing thesis with congruency led to growth 1 1
Impact of romantic relationship into therapeutic work 8 24
Adding the lived experience in therapy is a more realistic approach 3 6
After break-up Could not contain others' emotions as she is dealing 1 1
230
Name Files References
with her own
Being afraid of counter-transference in therapy after break-up 1 1
Break-up made her vulnerable and distractful in working with clients 1 1
Break-up made her vulnerable and led her to stop seeing clients from an emotional perspective
1 1
Mirrorring effect and counter-transference 5 9
Relationship makes her better therapist 1 1
Relationship's arguments can have a negative impact on trainee's focus in therapy
1 1
Same experiences with client led to better therapeutic relaitionship and understanding
2 3
Impact of the doctorate in romantic relationship 9 258
A new need of connection and interest in relationship 1 1
After graduating there is a confussion on academmic roles in the romantic relationship
1 2
Applying the therapist role into relationship's problems 1 2
Becoming grumpy and vulnerable due to stress, overwork and fatigue during doctorate
1 2
Becoming strangers in the relationship because of doctorate's demands 1 1
Being a therapist is blessing and curse for romantic relationship as you are able to formulate behaviours
2 3
Being in a relationship has been essential to do this doctorate 1 1
Being in different cities was understandable as both were students 1 1
Being independent from each other helped relationship during the doctorate
4 4
Being on the course, made her having different expectations from the relationship
2 3
Bocoming more transparent and honest in the relationship 1 2
Both being students caused challenges in the relationship 1 1
Changing of preferences in relationship. Seeking for pure attention 1 1
Couples reciprocal support was helpful during the doctorate 3 3
231
Name Files References
Course became priority putting the relationship second 2 2
Creating stronger bonds with classmates as partner could not understand some situations
2 4
Describing course as a tsunami experience for the relationship 1 1
Different intellectual levels and growth can cause problems in romantic relationships
1 1
Difficulties of the course negatively affected her romantic relationship 1 1
Discussions about Psychology and thesis led to further development for both in romantic relationship
3 10
Doctorate had a positive impact on romantic relationship 1 2
Doctorate helped her to deal with positivity on relationship issues 1 1
Doctorate helped her to distant herself from how she could react in relationship
1 1
Doctorate helped the couple to grow together while keeping their core self
5 8
Doctorate helped trainee to become better partner 1 1
Doctorate's negative impact on romantic relationship 1 1
Doctorate's structure helped the couple to smoothly change roles in the 1st year
1 1
Drained and absent avoiding to deal with relationship issues 2 9
Enjoying sex as an important factor to be in a romantic relationship 1 1
Fear of getting a divorce because other said so and proving the opossite
1 1
Feeling comfortable in relationship during doctorate 1 2
Feeling emotionally weak and clinchy towards her partner 1 2
Feeling horrified for break-up due to personal growth and huge changes
2 2
Feeling the need to give back all the support throughout the training 1 1
Financial problems during doctorate made the relationship stronger 3 4
Financial struggles as obstacle to work on relationship 2 3
Finding difficult to give support on partner after doctorate due to 1 1
232
Name Files References
limited emotional resources
Greater understanding due to personal growth and become less spontaneous in relationship
1 1
Growth on intellectual level can have an impact in romantic relationship
1 1
I was in a trustful relationship where there was a room for personal growth
3 4
Intimacy life became structured due to time constraints and this caused issues in relationship
1 1
Introspection and self-awareness led her to change her impulsive actions
1 1
Learning different theories and aspects during doctorate made trainees dissatisfied with relationship
1 3
Learning to compromise own time and schedule academic routine around relationship's style
2 2
Learning to reflect on difficult situations in relationship and discuss about it
2 4
Lose nurturing self towards loved ones 1 1
New experiences during doctorate led to a better understanding on the relationship's nature
1 1
Not growing and evolving might make the relationship boring 1 1
Not much relationship develoment over the course 1 1
Other trainees were usually struggling in their relationship after starting the doctorate
1 2
Partner can help to switch off your mind from doctorate and do fun things
1 2
Partner can understand easier Psychology and Counselling divisions due to their human nature
2 2
partner does not realise trainee's huge personal growth 2 3
Partner feeling neglected due to trainee's busy schedule during doctorate
1 1
Partner had to stop his growth to help trainee during the course 1 1
Partner helped her to be co-dependent and release some anxiety from her during doctorate
1 1
233
Name Files References
Partner not able to support and help trainee due to huge personal growth
1 1
Partner was helping trainee with academic work 1 2
Partner was uninterested in trainee's doctorate life 1 1
Partner's admiration for completing a doctorate 2 4
Partner's insecurities for trainee's growth negatively influenced sex life 1 1
Partner's interest to learn about trainee's doctoral journey 3 4
Partner's lack of patience due to long-term demanding course 1 1
Partner's negative emotions of stop being needed 1 2
Partner's no emotional support and understanding during the doctorate
1 2
Partner's no left resources to support trainee 1 1
Partner's positive support throughout the training 6 14
Partner's struggled and the need to reach same mindset and growth with trainee
1 1
Partner's support encouraged trainee to start the journey of the doctorate
4 5
Partners' huge sacrificies to please trainees during doctorate 1 1
Personal growth through training made her changing her relationship preferences
1 1
Pressures from the course negatively affected relationship 1 1
Prioritise romantic relationship over the doctorate 3 5
Receiving help and being financially dependent on partner during doctorate
2 4
Reflecting about doctorate journey led to awareness of its benefits and appreciation for partner
1 2
Relationship became stronger by seeking suport 1 1
Relationship suffers because of trainee's time dedication on doctorate 2 5
Respect and support as an importnat factor to be in a romantic relationship
1 1
Searching for more intense emotions from partner 1 1
234
Name Files References
Seeking a sense of stability and comfort to get through the course's difficulties
1 1
Seeking deeper connection and values with someone 1 1
Seeking recognision and support from partner on 1st year of doctorate 2 3
self-awareness led to dealing better with relationship issues 3 4
Self-awareness through personal therapy helped trainee to become better partner
1 1
Sex life was affected because of the doctorate 1 1
Sex life was negatively affected by starting the doctorate 1 1
Sharing same values and correct each other when is needed 1 1
Starting being flexible in relationship due to doctorate's demands 1 2
Starting being reflective in his romantic relationship 1 3
Stress and time for thesis was negatively impacted the relationship 1 1
Tendency to focus on the negative experiences 1 1
The course as an unpredictable process for the relationship 1 1
The course made her less independent, seeking for comfort from her partner
1 1
The demanding course led her with no patience to deal with relationship
1 1
The demands of this course makes you seek for escape and relaxing ideas with partner
1 2
The difficulties and the challenges of the course created a need for closerness with her partner
3 4
The importance for a stable relationship before the course starts 5 9
The need for matured love instead of crazy romantic love 1 1
The need for romantic relationship while on doctorate can minimise feelings of loneliness
1 1
The need of developing new roles 3 5
The need to dedicate time together during doctorate and not ignore relationship
2 3
The need to differentiate personal life from therapist's life impacted 1 1
235
Name Files References
relationship
The need to renegotiate the relationship after course is done 1 1
The need to spend quality time with partner and restructure the relationship after doctorate
2 6
The pressures of doing thesis influenced the relationship 1 1
The priority was to have somebody on her side throughout this course journey
1 1
The relationship hasn't changed a lot during the doctorate 1 1
The sense of going back to old roles after finishing the doctorate 1 2
Thoughts and explorations on what she really wants from a relationship in the future
1 1
Trainee became more open-minded and partner's fear due to change 1 1
Trainee's flashbacks from clients, influenced sex life 1 3
Trainee's need for her partner to follow her new mindset about life 1 1
Trainee's priorities and preferences have changed after doctorate and this influenced relationship
1 2
Trainee's warm feelings and seeking for support after a bad day at work 1 2
Trainees have the need to share academic experiences with partners 1 1
Understanding and awareness of her actions led her to behave differently in her relationship
2 2
Using mindfulness as a couple, grounded and helped them with their emotions
1 1
Wondering what is love and if it is love what she feels or something else
1 1
Impact of the doctorate on other relationships 9 62
Became concious and aware of unhelpful patters and behaviours towards her brother
1 1
Became more prominent in his relationships with others 1 1
Becoming distant from other people as values and priorities changed after doctorate
1 1
Classmates' support during doctorate kept them sane and intact 1 2
236
Name Files References
Doctorate brought family closer because they help each other 1 2
Doctorate changes the way you interact with other people 2 2
Doctorate gave her the ability to talk about important issues in family 1 1
Doctorate gave the tools, techniques annd insight for huge growth as a mother
1 1
Doctorate gives you a voice to enhance people's lives 1 1
Doctorate helped her to interact with people in a more positive way 1 1
Doctorate helped trainees to be open and facilitate personal growth to them and family
1 1
Doctorate's time restraints and impact on family and friends time 3 5
Exploration of self and building self-confidence led to better arguments 1 1
Exploring if her thoughts and behaviours towards others are for her own satisfaction
1 1
Family became more open and transparent to talk about issues with trainee
1 2
Family not able to understand completely trainee's thinking for different things
1 2
Family putting trainee in charge of health situations due to relevant qualification
1 1
Friendships become complicated when you become a psychologist 4 10
Having the confidence to discuss with family about different issues 1 1
No family appreciation for completing a doctorate 2 2
Not able to stop the psychologist role when they are with family and friends
1 1
Painful emotions because of lack of connection with family 1 1
Personal therapy helped her to talk to her parents about self-harm and restore their connection
1 2
Relationship with brother matured because of the doctorate 1 1
Self-doubts and frustration about missing academic opportunities due to family responsibilities and time restraints
1 3
Sharing personal growth with family members as a way for better connection
1 1
237
Name Files References
Stressors during doctorate have an impact to both yourself and your environment
1 1
The gap of knowledge became bigger between trainee and family because of huge growth
1 1
The internal power of deciding when to use psychology and therapeutic tools in family issues
3 6
The need to find a balance between doctorate and the environment around you
1 1
The need to rebuild social life due to doctorate's time constraints 1 1
Understand human relationships better after entering doctorate 1 1
Using psychological theories and emotional health on different family situations
2 2
When qualified, people talk to you in acknoledgement of that 1 1
Impact of therapeutic work into romantic relationship 6 17
Client sessions as a way to pause the brain into a forced break 1 1
Clients' confidentiality and the struggle to not talk about professional life with partner
1 2
Clients' issues enable trainees for empowerement 1 1
Comparing her life with client's life and appreciate things 4 7
Confidentiality at work can negatively influence communication in couple
1 1
Partner's worries about safety don't influence trainee's professional decisions
1 1
Personal and professional life can cross paths and can have a huge impact in romantic relationship
1 1
Relationship with clients will gonna end whereas in romantic relationship is a continual journey
1 1
Therapeutic skills benefited the romantic relationship 1 1
Thinking about clients' cases in private time 1 1
Personal Growth 9 169
A different way of thinking and behaviour towards others 1 1
Academic knowledge as essential element to compare with self- 1 1
238
Name Files References
knowledge
Advanced social skills and communication during doctorate 1 1
Became less judgemental and focused on helping others 1 1
Became very serious and mature due to huge personal growth in doctorate
1 1
Becoming better person and human being because of the doctorate 1 1
Becoming more comfortable on 2nd year and a sense of control 1 2
Becoming more spiritual and exploring different things during the doctorate
2 4
Becoming very serious as a character when entering doctorate 1 1
Being compassionate to herself helped her survive the course and handle the huge personal growth
1 1
Big life sacrificies for a better professional future 1 1
Break-up gave her clarity on what is important for her in a romantic relationahip
1 1
Building self-confidence and self-esteem on the 3rd year due to continuous defending own capabilities
1 1
Change of city and starting the doctorate helped her to be open to equality and diversity
2 4
Developing a therapeutic identity and exploring the new role 1 1
Developing self-care for surviving during doctorate 2 3
Different elements of doctorate helped her being more reflective 1 1
Different perspectives on people's behaviour before and after the doctorate
1 1
Difficult moments led to better understanding of self 2 2
Doctorate and Life experiences helped her reflect and question her behaviours
1 1
Doctorate and personal therapy helped her to be emotionally resilient in different situations
1 1
Doctorate as his best choice in life for his overall development 1 1
Doctorate gave him direction and passion for his life 1 1
239
Name Files References
Doctorate helped her to be more confident and comfortable with herself
1 2
Doctorate helped her to create her own ontological ideas 1 1
Doctorate helped her to experience a natural journey of grief instead of medication dependency
1 1
Doctorate helped her to start being kind in everybody 1 1
Doctorate helped her to start having self-awareness 2 2
Doctorate helped trainee to be grounded and that this investment worths it
1 1
Doctorate helped trainee to be less materialistic and humanistic to people's problems
1 1
Doctorate helped trainee to work on the best version of herself 1 1
Doctorate helps you to interact with people more easily due to self-confidence
2 3
Doctorate introduced him to mindfulness and starting developing an interest
1 1
Doctorate made her relactant to forgiveness due to appreciation for herself
1 1
Doctorate made him more empathic in his life 1 1
Doctorate's demands damaged trainees' confidence as they are not superhumans
1 2
Doctorate's experiences made her less resilient and tolerant to negative situations
2 2
Doing a profession that you love can enormously transform you 2 3
Doing something you love makes you feel no pressure 1 1
Entering doctorate having external focus evaluation and coming out with internal focus
1 1
Existential growth during doctorate helped trainee to explore themselves
1 1
Explore her feelings through self-awareness 2 2
Exploring spirituality beliefs during and after the doctorate 1 1
Feeling blessed and happy for her life after reflecting in the interview 3 3
240
Name Files References
Feeling more confident ot talk about self-harm after personal therapy 1 1
Feeling sorry for herself as she didn't give credit at the time for the huge amount of work
1 1
Feelings of success and proudness of completing the doctorate 1 2
Finding difficult to do personal therapy on own issues 1 1
Finding peace about death through academic textbooks and self-exploration
1 1
Gaining self-confidence and became stronger during doctorate 2 3
Greater trust on her intuition and spirituality since entering doctorate 1 1
Huge growth over the duration of the course 5 7
I feel a different person after the doctorate 5 9
If you survive the doctorate, you feel equipped for any challenge might arise
1 1
Less impulsivity leads to thinking before take actions 1 1
Life purpose changed due to personal growth over the doctorate 1 2
Living in peace in here and now with more self-awareness 1 1
Managing better difficult situations due to therapeutic training 1 1
Mindfulness helped her being self-aware and slow down in the moment
2 3
Nurturing self is gone towards loved ones as the focus is on patients now
1 1
Perceive suffering as a positive learning experience through spirituality 1 1
Personal growth can produce feelings of loneliness in relation to other people
1 1
Personal growth is inevitable during and after the doctorate 1 1
Personal growth through life experiences and not age 1 1
Personal growth through vicarious post-traumatic situations during therapeutic work
1 2
Personal growth was more intense after completing the doctorate 2 2
Personal therapy as an opportunity to work on personal issues 3 7
241
Name Files References
Personal therapy could leave you emotionally exposed 1 1
Personal therapy helped to start being reflective 1 1
Personal therapy was the starting point to talk and explore her self-harm
1 1
Psychologically vulnerable feeling unsafe 1 1
Religious beliefs became stronger by learning about spirituality in the doctorate
1 1
Seeing things from a different perspective 1 1
Self-development is huge but limited during doctorate due to time constraints
1 1
Self-doubts and anxiety about own capabilities 1 1
Self-knowledge and Developing an inner therapist for her issues when is needed
3 3
Setting boundaries to self and others by starting doctorate 1 2
Spirituality and religion challenges during bereavement phase 1 1
Spirituality becomes more important through the years for Psychologists
1 1
Spirituality helped her to live in the present, appreciate things and count blessings
2 2
Starting being mindful using it as a coping strategy on difficult situations
1 2
Starting being more resilient with others 1 1
Starting being reflective in her life 3 5
Starting having a good routine for job and relationship after entering doctorate
1 1
Starting questioning the validity of roles and stereotypes 2 2
Starting thinking her actions after the incident led to introspection 1 1
switching between identity roles where there is a need to 1 1
Take a moment to breath and think before she reacts 1 1
The need for a partner with the same intellectual level 2 6
The need of exploration of the new self during the doctorate 1 1
242
Name Files References
The need to enjoy life without so much structure after the doctorate 1 2
The need to start doing fun things again after the doctorate 1 1
The need to survive the doctorate and explore personal growth 1 1
Therapeutic practice helped more than academic teaching on personal growth
1 1
Therapy helps to look personal issues from different perspective 1 1
Through self-exploration she stopped proving to family if she was good enough
1 1
Understand and differentiate spirituality from religion during the doctorate
1 1
Understand the human brain better and be open-minded 1 1
Understand your limits and make wise choices as a learning experience 1 1
Understanding personal growth through personal reflection during doctorate
2 3
Understanding relationships and triggers towards specific behaviours 1 1
Validation at the end of doctorate that the doctorate was worth it 1 1
Professional Growth 9 87
Academic assigments helped to realise particular areas of interest 1 1
Adapting her therapeutic style based on clients' culture and diversity 1 2
After doctorate not thinking about status but helping others in distress 1 1
Be able to recognise when it is necessary to refer client due to counter-transference
1 1
Because of the training she became a humanistic therapist instead of following the medical model
1 2
Building confidence and be able to stand up for your opininon based on psychological theories
3 8
Choice of placements based on personal experiences 1 1
Different experiences at therapy led to huge professional growth 1 1
Doctor title as a powerful element to work with other health care professionals
1 1
Doctorate by itself, it doesn't give you a career 2 2
243
Name Files References
Doctorate helped her to match more into qualitative studies instead of quantitative
1 1
Doctorate helped her to understand the intersubjectivity and counter-transference in working with clients
1 1
Doctorate helped to choose a speciality 1 1
Doing personal therapy helped her to be aware of what are her's and clients' reactions
2 2
Empathy as the most important aspect to create therapeutic self and work with the client
1 2
Extra frustration when supervisors treated you like a baby 1 1
Finding space to think about professional future only after finishing the doctorate
1 1
Finishing doctorate without confidence as a practitioner 1 1
Greater self-esteem and Sense of achievement 2 2
Huge professional growth through training 1 1
Importance of accepting clients as human beings 1 1
In therapy your judgement can be influenced by own lived experiences 2 2
Innate therapeutic characteristics can be the base line for a good therapist
1 1
Intellectual conversations with partner helped improving trainees' therapeutic practice
1 1
Keeping personal and professional life separately 2 3
Learning the limitations of bringing self in therapy 1 1
Multitasking as an important element 1 1
Others' experiences during doctorate help her to decide what she really wants
1 1
overwhelming emotions made her questioning her capabilities 1 1
Prioritising career and then relationship preferences 1 2
Professional growth through training and learning elements of the doctorate
2 4
Professional research limits due to supervisor's constraints 1 1
244
Name Files References
Professionalism can lead damaging and not prioritising her emotions 1 1
Put aside personal issues and focus on client no matter what 1 1
Self-awareness of weaknesses and setting limitations in therapy 1 2
Self-confidence about therapeutic skills after completing doctorate 1 2
Starting being more disciplined in time management 3 6
starting understand the role of the therapist 2 2
Starting understand the role of therapist 1 1
Supervision as essential during therapy for reflection 2 2
Tendency to hide our feelings in therapy even if we are also humans 1 1
The emotional cost of wearing the professional mask 1 1
The importance of dealing with own problems and emotions before deal with somebody's else
2 2
The need of continuous development even after the doctorate 2 3
The need of ongoing reflection and improvement in therapeutic practice
2 2
The need to make the course priority due to fear of failure 1 1
The rewarding feeling about successful sessions 1 1
Use of self in therapy 2 2
Using personal therapy to learn more therapetic skills 1 1
Using weaknesses to important transformations during doctorate 1 1
Working as a psychologist is hard work 1 1
Working with more complex clients due to professional growth 1 1
Working with others and peer supervision made her feel professional 1 1
Unexpected things 6 16
Bringing her attention on my cross in the middle of interview 1 1
Bringing my religion in the conversation to support her argument 1 1
Difficulties in placements and bullied by supervisors led to burnout and damage of self
2 6
245
Name Files References
Feeling sad after interview on reflecting about her past and break-up 1 1
Partner didn't like trainee's growth as he used to be the smart one in the relationship
1 1
Supervisors' no support creating vulnerability and anxiety on trainees 1 1
Trainees' huge personal growth could be a threat for partners 2 3
View personal and professional growth in a holistic way instead of two different categories
1 2
APPENDIX N – Categories and Subcategories Table
Final Data Categories and Subcategories – Stage 3
Main Categories Subcategories
Developing academic and clinical practice experiences as the foundation for self-development
Self-developing process leads to enhancing experiences
Academic and clinical practice experiences: Development, Challenges and Future concerns
The doctorate’s negative and positive impacts on the romantic relationship
The doctorate's negative influence on their romantic relationship
The doctorate's positive influence on their romantic relationship
Self-development and its impacts on the romantic relationship
Self-development impacts positively on the romantic relationship
Self-development impacts negatively on the romantic relationship
Relationship changes or break up due to self-development
247
Screenshot from the NVivo Software including
APPENDIX O - Ethics Approval
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