SBrev-FY-Nov2012

you’re 40 or your parents are 70, youshould be talking and planning. If youhaven’t, now is still a good time to startthe conversation.

Home Instead and consultants on

senior care suggest seven tips to helpget the conversation started.

• Get started. If you’re 40 or yourparents are 70, begin observing and

2 S. BREVARD CountyHOMETOWN NEWS

November 2012FOREVER YOUNG

Boomers are making upthe ‘‘ssaannddwwiicchh ggeenneerraattiioonn’’

If you’re a Baby Boomer, you areprobably rejoicing that the kids are inhigh school or college or maybe even

starting families of their own. That’sgreat news because now it’s possible tohave some “me” or “us” time.

For many of us, the reality is quitedifferent. We now confront the issue ofaging parents, many of whom haveserious health problems. Perhaps oneparent has died and the remainingcannot stay alone. Even if they are stillboth living in their own home, it’s oftentrue that neither is able to drive any-more. As a result, many of us are calledon to make difficult and often unpleas-ant decisions.

This situation is so widespread thatwe Boomers have been called the“sandwich generation,” taking care ofthose younger and older, sometimesunder one roof. Planning for thatpossibility in advance is one way that

parents and adult children canapproach these conversations in a calmand thoughtful manner.

Home Instead Senior Care has puttogether a series of pamphlets designedto help broach topics such as when tostop driving, health care issues, finan-cial arrangements and other sensitivesubjects. The booklet “The 40-70 Rule: AGuide to Conversation Starters forBoomers and their Senior Loved Ones,”is one such resource.

The “40-70 rule” is a reminder thatconversations about elder planningshould start early and not when a crisislooms. The “40-70 rule” means that if

ASSOCIATE NEWSEDITORSHELLEY KOPPEL

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3S. BREVARD CountyHOMETOWN NEWS

November 2012 FOREVER YOUNG

Long-distance caregivingcan present challenges

MELBOURNE — It’s hard takingcare of aging parents, when you liveclose to them. Add a few thousandmiles, and it becomes a real challenge.

Joyce Davis’ parents were long-timeresidents of Brevard County. She andher brother live in Massachusetts andshe has a 12-year-old son.

“My dad died suddenly 18 monthsago,” Ms. Davis said. “Mom hasdementia. She was high-functioningwhen he was around, but she hasdeteriorated since he died. Dad cov-ered up how impaired our motherwas, so it was a double surprise.”

Ms. Davis, a social worker by train-ing, knew that she needed help. Asearch turned up One Senior Place inViera, a clearinghouse for resources

and information about elder care. “My dad died and I felt it was his

spirit that brought me to One SeniorPlace,” she said. “I spoke to Kathi Rid-ner there, and I felt she was an angel. Idon’t know what I’d have done. I didn’tknow what I needed.”

Ms. Davis took advantage of the free30-minute consultation offered byOne Senior Place. She decided sheneeded to hire a care manager tocoordinate her mother’s treatment,including doctor visits, medicationand crisis management. One of thedecisions she and her brother madewas to keep her mother in Florida,near Ms. Davis’ aunt and uncle.

“They’re emotionally connected,”she said. “They’re all they have. Ifsomething happens to my aunt or

By Shelley KoppelAssociate news editor

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COCOA BEACH — Jackie Hitzig takescare of her mom, with a lot of help fromher sister and friends. It is a labor of lovefor everyone.

“My mom, Joy, is 86 years old,” Ms.Hitzig said. “She used to run the TeaRoom in Cape Canaveral. After my daddied in 2004, my mother had a fall andwe almost lost her. She had a braininjury and was in a coma for a week.They said she’d be a vegetable, but she’snever done what they’ve told her. Shecame back and woke up.”

After several weeks of therapy, hermother was able to return home, butshe couldn’t live alone. Ms. Hitzig’s sistermoved in with their mom, who hasheart issues and uses a walker. The twohave a lot of help from friends.

“It’s kind of neat,” Ms. Hitzig said. “Ourfamily friends are (former) employees ofthe Tea Room. They’re like family mem-bers. They’ve stayed close to mom andlove her dearly.”

Everyone has a special role.“Jimmy takes my mother to therapy

three times a week,” Ms. Hitzig said. “Hetakes her there and to the doctor whenmy sister or I can’t. That’s their thing.One of the best things is that it gets herout and she socializes.

“Tammy cleans the house and Garydoes things around the house. They let

my mother be involved in their lives. Itgives her people to care about and love.When Tammy got married, she wantedmy mother to be the mother of thebride. My sister takes her to church andthey have their time together.”

Ms. Hitzig knows how important it isfor caregivers to ask for and accept help.

“We have a family friend, whosemother died and she cared for her fatherand isolated herself,” she said. “It was allshe did. It’s important to have people tohelp you and taking care of a parentcan’t overtake your life. We’re so fortu-nate to have so many people to help.”

Ms. Hitzig said that her mother lovesgoing out, and they attend symphonyconcerts and go to restaurants. Every-one is enjoying the here and now andnot worrying about the future.

“We were caught unexpectedly withmy dad,” she said. “He broke his hip andwas doing fine, but his heart was tooweak. We couldn’t plan for that. Whenwe have to deal with something, we will.You can kill yourself worrying about it.Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it.”

One of the greatest challenges she andher sister have faced is a change in roles,as her mother has grown more depend-ent on them.

“It’s hard to find a balance as they getolder,” she said. “She’ll say, ‘I’m thechild,’ but I say no, she’s still my motherand I respect her as my mother. She

sometimes thinks she has to do what wewant, but I tell her that she’s my moth-er.”

Ms. Hitzig said that they all just do thebest they can.

“We’ve been through a lot,” she said. “Ilost my husband at a young age. Youlearn to deal with whatever comes. Youdon’t waste one precious minute.”

A labor of...

Photo courtesy of Jackie Hitz igTammy Hitzig requested that Jackie Hitzig’s mother, Joy, be her ‘mother-of-the-bride’ at her wedding.


gathering information. Don’t makedecisions based on one incident orobservation and keep an open mind.

• Talk it out. Talk to your parents in a

conversation, not an inquisition.Discuss what you’ve observed and askyour parents what they think is goingon. If they acknowledge the situation,ask them what they a good solutionwould be. If they don’t recognize aproblem, use concrete examples.

• Sooner is better. Talk before a crisis

occurs. If you know a loved one haspoor eyesight or has trouble with nightdriving, begin the discussion beforethere’s a problem.

• Forget the baby talk. Remember thatyou are talking to your adult parents,not to a child. Don’t patronize or themon the defensive. Put yourself in their

shoes and imagine how you would wantsuch a conversation to go.

• Maximize independence. Always tryto find solutions that allow your lovedone the maximum amount of inde-pendence. Look for answers that play to

SandwichFrom page 2

See SANDWICH, Page 10



0404

86



Physician Walter Bortz wrote abook entitled We Live Too Short andDie Too Long. True, as we age, far toomany of us fall far short of our health,function and performance potential.While we tend to live longer than ourgrandparents and great grandparents,the norm is to spend the last 10 to 12years of our lives with lifestyle-caused- and therefore avoidable, and possiblyreversible - disabling body and brainconditions.

The good news is that health andperformance are much more afunction of our day-to-day choicesthan of our genes, our gender or ourage. That speaks directly to twocommon fears associated with aging:

• The loss of independence, and • The loss of brain potential due to

Alzheimer’s, or some other form ofdementia.

You can take steps to reduce your riskfor being numbered among the 5.6million Americans who have beendiagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and the 9%of those 65 to 69 years of age, and nearly50% of those 85 and older who needassistance with activities of daily living.

Consider maintaining, or regaining,your independence. Physicaldependence in the latter decades oflife is often due to muscle and boneweakness - the result of years ofinactivity. Only 5 percent of men andwomen 60 and older meet even theminimum requirements for exerciseset forth by the American College ofSports Medicine, the American HeartAssociation and the American CancerSociety. Consider the followingexamples from the research:

• Women in their 80s were able toincrease bone mass over a three year

period through regular exercise andgood nutrition.

• People in their 90s who engagedin a 3 month strength trainingprogram increased strength (174%),muscle size, and muscular power(explosive strength).

• Participation in Tai Chi classesimproved balance by 50% in threemonths.

Exercise not only impacts physicalcapabilities, but also longevity.People in their 80s who are regularexercisers have a lower all-cause deathrate than people in their 60s who arecouch potatoes.

Love Your Brain, is the title of oneof many encouraging, informativebooks written by ClinicalNeuropsychologist, and nationallyrecognized brain health expert, Dr.Paul Nussbaum. The old, outdated

view was that you are born with acertain number of brain cells, and thenyou proceed to lose brain cells overthe course of your lifetime.Brainpower, which normally begins toslow at age 25, can be improvedthrough mental stimulation (novel andchallenging learning experiences),socialization, spirituality, nutritionand exercise. The brain can bemolded, new brain cells produced,new connections built, and thinkingskills improved at any age – even ifyou are 110. (paulnussbaum.com;fitbrains.com)

A six month study with 60 to 79 yearolds showed an increase in brainvolume, and improved brainperformance, among those engaged inaerobic training. (Normally, there is aprogressive loss of brain volumebeginning at age 45.) A group whose

exercise consisted only of toning andstretching showed no increase in brainvolume. Another study linked anincrease in brain volume to strengthtraining. There is also research tosuggest that regular exercise may reduceAlzheimer’s risk by as much as 40%.

Are the expectations you have set foryourself too low? Join a growing numberof men and women who have rejectedageism, and who have taken charge oftheir health and body/brain performance.

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Helping aging parents takes time, organization

MELBOURNE — Kathi Ridner knowsa thing or two about the “sandwich gen-eration.” She is director of One SeniorPlace, a clearinghouse for informationand services for seniors. She also has amother who’s 89 and children, ages 22and 18.

Ms. Ridner is fortunate that her moth-er, who lives in Michigan, is able to liveindependently, but she know what achallenge it is for families trying to carefor parents and, occasionally, children,at the same time. Living at a distanceadds to the challenge.

“At One Senior Place, I talk to peopleall the time,” she said. “Often the chil-dren live away and get a sense of a stateof decline, or they see their parents aftersix months or a year and say, ‘Oh, mygoodness.’ There’s a dramatic change.”

Ms. Ridner said that she often hearsfrom families when there is a crisis.

“We get a callfrom a familymember, who’sthousands of milesaway,” she said.“They’re reactingto a crisis and con-trol the situationand make deci-sions. They arethinking they canand should solvethe problem, oftenwithout consulting the parents.”

One Senior Place offers a free 30-minute consultation with a care manag-er. Family members can find out whatresources are available in Brevard Coun-ty and get referrals to appropriate agen-cies and businesses. Then it’s time totalk with the parents.

“This is your mother or father’s life,”Ms. Ridner said. “Rather than rolling inand making decisions, arm yourselfwith information. If possible, involve as

many family members as possible in thedecision-making process at one time.That way, the goals of the senior citizencan be taken into account and respect-ed. The senior citizen should be there, ifpossible.”

Ms. Ridner said that parents, as well asadult children, need information.

“Seniors should educate themselvesand make decisions while they are ableto and let their family know,” she said.There should be more than one plan. IfPlan A is to stay at home and that’s notpossible, then maybe having outsidecaregivers at home is an option.”

Ms. Ridner said that seniors oftenworry that allowing for some help is thefirst step to losing independence. Forthat reason, they try to pretend thateverything is fine.

“Having help allows them to stay intheir home longer,” Ms. Ridner said. “It’sdifficult to accept help. Sometimes, thefirst time the caregiver shows up, theclient does everything and the caregiver

watches. The second time, the client letsthe caregiver do the work and the clientwatches. It may take two weeks beforethe client relaxes and doesn’t hover. It’s aprocess.”

It’s easy to see the toll that declininghealth takes on the parents, but it ishard for the adult children, as well.

“It takes a toll, emotionally,” Ms. Rid-ner said. “It also takes a toll on time withtheir own family and it’s a strain onfinances. Many are still raising theirown children or picking up the slack ontheir children’s finances. They may bedipping into their own retirementfunds, leaving them vulnerable. Ifthey’re 45-55, there may not be achance to recoup it. They should talk toa financial adviser, but people tend tolive in the moment and do crisis man-agement.”

For information about One SeniorPlace, located at 8085 Spyglass HillRoad, Viera, call (321) 751-6771 or visitthe website www.oneseniorplace.com.

Kathi Ridner


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Legal issues require communication among family members

MELBOURNE — When attorneyWilliam Johnson talks to clients aboutplanning for themselves or their agingparents, he emphasizes three things:estate planning, incapacity planningand long-term care.

These are difficult topics for manyfamilies, but it is extremely importantthat the conversations take place whenthere is no crisis and calm decision-making is possible.

“Estate planning is not only wills andtrusts,” Mr. Johnson said. “It’s havingbeneficiaries designated on IRAs and401(k)s. It’s making sure that the estategoes where they want it to.”

Incapacity planning is critical becausepeople are living longer and survivingillnesses and accidents they might nothave survived a generation ago.

“Diminished capacity can be physicalor mental,” he said. “When we talk

about it, we discussDurable Power ofAttorney, a HealthCare Surrogate anda Living Will.”

The DurablePower of Attorneyallows someone tomanage financesin the event theperson cannotmanage them.

“I tell people they will be turning overthe keys to their finances to someoneelse,” Mr. Johnson said. “It has to besomeone trustworthy. We can designatemultiple siblings to make sure a personisn’t exploited. You should hold onto thedocument or have someone hold it forsafekeeping.”

“Designating a Health Care Surrogateallows someone to make health caredecisions on your behalf. They canmake all kinds of decisions, includingthe doctors and where you live,” Mr.

Johnson said. “A Living Will stateswhether or not you want to be kept aliveartificially with feeding tubes or ventila-tors. You should spell it out ahead oftime whether or not to disconnect lifesupport.”

The third topic, long-term care, is onemost people try to ignore, but it isimportant. Mr. Johnson said that mostpeople greatly underestimate the costsof long-term care. Nursing homes, forexample, average $250 a day and assist-ed living facilities can cost $3,500 amonth.

“It’s important to have a plan,” he said.“What is the plan for paying for the care?Do they have insurance? Will they haveto apply for Medicaid? If they can’t affordor get long-term care insurance, theyhave to plan on self-insuring or qualify-ing for Medicaid.”

Much of the work Mr. Johnson doesinvolves second marriages, with adultchildren on both sides.

“Most people do not realize that 50

percent of people over age 65 haveextended families,” he said. “The spousehas children from the prior marriage.That seems to be the powder keg.

“Ninety percent of the litigation I dodeals with kids from the prior marriagegoing against the new spouse,” headded. “It usually blows up becauseeveryone is in denial. You can butt headsover heath care and finances.”

Mr. Johnson said the best thing to dois communicate.

“Have a family meeting with the chil-dren of both marriages,” he said. Make sure everyone is on the samepage. Both sides should have meetings,where things are openly and frankly dis-cussed before the time, so you’re notacting in a crisis mode, with emotionsrunning high. The most importantthings are planning and communica-tion.”

William Johnson’s law office is locatedat 21 Suntree Place, Melbourne. Call(321) 253-1667.


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uncle, I’d bring her back to Massachu-setts.”

Ms Davis and her brother have splitthe responsibilities for managing theirmother’s affairs, with her brother han-dling the finances and Ms. Davis therest of the care. While they think thatkeeping her in Florida is the right deci-

sion, it is another challenge.“It’s expensive to manage a parent

from far away,” Ms. Davis said. “Myparents had assets and that makes ahuge difference. We have it easier thanmost because it’s not a strain finan-cially. I can’t begin to put myself in theshoes of those with financial burdens,as well as emotional burdens.”

The eventual decision to place hermother in a facility for patients with

dementia was a difficult one. Both Ms.Davis and her brother hoped to keepher in her home as long as was possi-ble, but there were many medicalemergencies that resulted in trips tothe emergency room. While caregiverscame to the house more and more fre-quently, it became clear that hermother could no longer live alone.

“You put off making the decisionbecause you think it’s the worst deci-

sion,” she said. “Then you realize howmuch worse it was, being worriedabout her safety. It was like having anout-of-control toddler with a lot ofneed. It’s pretty awful. I feel much bet-ter.”

For information about One SeniorPlace, located at 8085 Spyglass HillRoad,Viera, call (321) 751-6771 or visitthe website www.oneseniorplace.com.



DavisFrom page 3

strengths and compensate for prob-lems. Some household assistance ormedication reminders may helppreserve independence longer.

• Be aware of the whole picture. Ifyour dad dies and your mom’s house isin disarray, it is probably not a separateissue, but the result of the loss. See ifpeople can visit and maybe help out fora bit to see if the situation improves.

• Ask for help. Local agencies andresources exist to help older peoplemaintain their independence. Find outwhat is available for your parents andseek out whatever help you can. Seniorcenters and area agencies on aging arewonderful resources.

To obtain copies of “The 40-70 Rule”or other helpful pamphlets on talkingabout aging, contact Diane Butler,director of community outreach atHome Instead Senior Care at (772) 564-8821.

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ALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCALFREY ROOFING INCResidential • Commercial • Reroofs • Repairs

• TILE • METAL • SHINGLE • FLAT ROOF SPECIALISTSWhen searching for a roofing contractor, consider this:Our family has been continuously roofing in Brevard County since 1969.

Alfrey Roofing, Inc. are 3rd generation local roofing and better business councilaward winners specializing in doing the job right. We are family owned andoperated and offer no pressure estimates. We will be here when you need us.

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For All Your Insurance Needs.Home - Auto - Flood - Business

Life - AnnuitiesLET DOZENS OF COMPANIES COMPETE FOR YOUR BUSINESS...

Paul S.Alfrey

PRESIDENT/OWNER

0427

27In recent years the financial markets haveexperienced extreme swings.

The historic volatility combined with the limit-ed availability of traditional retirement incomesources, such as defined benefit pension plans,has placed a greater responsibility onAmericans saving for their future.With this responsibility comes a need for finan-cial solutions that can help provide a new levelof protection for retirement savings.Whether your long-term objective is to build asource of guaranteed lifetime income, save fora specific retirement goal or leave a legacy foryour loved ones, annuities can help by offeringbenefits designed to meet your specific retire-ment needs.

Understanding the basics

A fixed index annuity is a contract between youand the insurance company. In exchange foryour premium payment, the insurance compa-ny provides you income either immediately orsometime in the future. Most fixed index annuities have two phases.First, there is an accumulation phase duringwhich you let your money earn interest. This isfollowed by a distribution or payout phase dur-ing which you receive money from your annu-ity.A fixed index annuity also guarantees you willreceive at least the minimum guaranteed inter-est credited to the contract.All of these guarantees are backed by theclaims-paying ability of the issuing company.With a fixed index annuity you defer payingtaxes on your contract’s interest until youreceive money from the contract. Tax-deferredinterest means the money in your contract cangrow faster.You will be guaranteed the return of the moneyyou originally paid into your annuity, unlessyou surrender some or your entire annuity dur-ing the surrender charge period. Most annu-ities have a surrender charge of 5-15 years.

Understanding the benefits

A fixed index annuity offers a unique combina-tion of benefits that can help you achieve yourlong-term goals. No other product offers thetax deferral, indexed interest potential, option-al benefits to protect your retirement assetsand income along with bonuses.• Tax deferralInterest earned in a fixed index annuity con-tract is tax-deferred.Withdrawals are taxed as ordinary income and,if taken prior to age 59, a 10 percent federal taxpenalty may apply.Tax deferred growth, compounded over time,may increase the amount of savings andincome your fixed index annuity generates foryour retirement.Tax deferral is also a benefit of traditional IRAsand 401(k)s but contributions are limited. Youcan save more and also enjoy tax-deferredgrowth potential.• Indexed interest potentialAllocate its value to one or more chosen index-es. A crediting method is then used to track theperformance of your index(es). At the end ofeach contract year, the indexed interest is cal-culated. Unique opportunity for accumulation.Option to receive fixed interestIf result is positive, you will automaticallyreceive indexed interest, subject to a cap or

spread. That interest is locked in each year andcannot be lost due to index declines at somepoint in the future.If result is negative, nothing happens. That canbe a good thing. Although you won’t receiveany indexed interest for the year, your annuity’svalue doesn’t decline.At the end of each contract year, your annuity’sindex values are automatically reset. Thatmeans this year’s ending value becomes nextyear’s starting value. Annual reset also locks inany interest your contract earned during theyear.• Protection benefitsAccumulation: Principal and credited interestis protected. As long as you abide by the termsof your contract, you will not lose any of themoney you placed in your annuity due to sur-render charges. Additionally, any interest cred-ited to the contract is locked in and protectedas well. Annuities are subject to surrendercharge periods, which can vary, but are gener-ally between five and ten years duration.Guaranteed income: A fixed index annuity putsyou in control of your future income, based onthe annuity you choose and how much moneyyou put into it. After your contract has had anopportunity to earn interest over its deferralperiod, you can begin distribution. Receiveyour contract’s values in a stream of incomethat will last your lifetime. The amount of yourpayments is based on the value of the contracton the date you begin distribution and the pay-out schedule you choose.Optional income riders: Flexibility to add addi-tional income riders to the policy that canincrease to help you keep pace with inflationthroughout retirement. These income riders orbenefits provide a valuable benefit, but theyusually come at a cost. Again, remember thatwithdrawals may be subject to regular incometax and, if taken prior to age 59, a 10 percentfederal tax penalty may apply.• Legacy benefitIf you pass away before annuity paymentsbegin, a fixed index annuity may help you pro-vide for your loved ones.Your beneficiary may choose to receive yourcontract’s values in a single payment or in aseries of payments over time.

Is a fixed index annuity right for you?

Are the following benefits important to you?Tax deferral to help you reach your retirementgoals?Indexed interest potential to help accumulateyour retirement savings?Protection benefits that can help protect yourretirement assets and income?Only you know your goals for retirement, soonly you can determine your needs.

For more information on annuities, life, or otherinsurance needs call American StandardInsurance Group, at (321) 253-3100.

Annuities

It’s time to rethink retirement

paid

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PAUL S.ALFREY

INSURANCE AGENTFL CERTIFIED HOME INSPECTORFL CERTIFIED CONTRACTOR

SBrev-FY-Nov2012

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