AGENDA
• How good are you as an Influencer?• Traits of Brilliant Influencers• Positioning yourself for Influence• Phrases to Avoid• Free Hotel Upgrade
How Good An Influencer Are How Good An Influencer Are You?You?
SCALE 1-10 with no 51 Poor
10 A God
1-46-89-10
How Open to being Influenced How Open to being Influenced are You?are You?
SCALE 1-10 with no 51 Poor
10 A God
1-46-89-10
CautiousPreciseDeliberateQuestioningFormal
CaringEncouragingSharingPatientRelaxed
CompetitiveDemandingDeterminedStrong-willedPurposeful
SociableDynamicDemonstrativeEnthusiasticPersuasive
On your best day...
StuffyIndecisiveSuspiciousColdReserved
DocileBlandPloddingReliantStubborn
AggressiveControllingDrivingOverbearingIntolerant
ExcitableFranticIndiscreetFlamboyantHasty
On your worst day...
WEAKNESSES:• Poor listener• Can be seen as arrogant• May push too hard• Doesn’t wait for feedback
STRENGTHS:• Confident, determined• Loves challenges• Focused• Influencing others
Dominance: Strengths & Weaknesses
WEAKNESSES:• May lack focus• Too casual for some• Poor planning and follow-up• Can lose interest
STRENGTHS:• Quick to build relationships• Friendly and sociable• Adaptable, imaginative• Skillful presenter
Influence: Strengths & Weaknesses
WEAKNESSES:• Slow to adapt• May lack enthusiasm asking for a decision• Avoids rejection• Takes difficulties personally
STRENGTHS:• Builds deep, long-term
relationships• Natural listener• Sincere and warm• Persistent
Steadiness: Strengths & Weaknesses
STRENGTHS:• Knowledgeable and detailed• Air of competence• Asks probing questions• Thorough follow-up
WEAKNESSES:• Initial interaction may be difficult & stuffy
•Questions may be seen as critical & insensitive
•Overlooks others’ feelings•Focus on inconsequential details
Compliance: Strengths & Weaknesses
ListeningNot InterruptingNot jumping in to disagreeActively trying to understand the other
person viewpointUnderstanding their beliefsShowing that you understandEmpathising
Trust• Relationship
– Talk Straight– Demonstrate Respect– Create Transparency– Right Wrongs– Show Loyalty– Deliver Results– Get Better– Confront Reality– Clarify Expectations– Practice Accountability– Listen First– Keep Commitments– Extend Trust
Credibility QuadrantStrong Expertise
Weak Relationship
Weak Expertise
and Relationship
Weak Expertise
Strong Relationship
Strong Expertise
and Relationship
0 1 2 3 4 5
1
2
3
4
5
Weak
Weak
Strong
Strong
Relationship Credibility
Exp
ertis
e C
redi
bilit
y
Reprinted with the permission of Simon & Schuster from WINNING ‘EM OVER By Jay Conger. Copyright ©1998 by Jay CongerCopyright 1998 by Jay Conger, Winning ‘Em Over, Simon & Schuster, New York. Permission granted by Arthur Pine Associates, Inc.
Credibility Tactic GridInvestigate colleagues concerns about issues beforehandNetwork beforehand to ensure support.Involve others who have stronger relationships to persuade your case.
Persuade directly using techniques of framing, compelling positions/evidence, and emotional connection.
Network beforehand to ensure support.Involve others who have stronger relationships and expertise to persuade on your behalf.Involve outside experts and credible references to validate your position.Seek early proofs/successes/prototypes of your position beforehand as confirming evidence.
Involve outside experts to validate.Bring in externally validated evidence (e.g., market research, consultants’ reports).Create pilots/prototypes/mini-successes that prove your position.
Weak
Weak
Strong
StrongYour Relationship Reputation
Your Expertise
Reputation
Reprinted with the permission of Simon &
Schuster from WINNING ‘EM OVER
By Jay Conger. Copyright ©1998 by
Jay CongerCopyright 1998 by Jay Conger, Winning ‘Em
Over, Simon & Schuster, New York.
Permission granted by Arthur Pine Associates,
Inc.
Improving Credibility• Develop your Expertise• Product Knowledge• Industry Knowledge• Applications / Stories• Add Value
Position yourself to be more Influential“I am more influenced by people who…”
Are like me…Understand me…Agree with me…Empathise with me…Take an Interest in my world…Who Respect me and what I think…Who I trust…Who are credible…Who bring me with them rather than push me
PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!
Yeah and I suppose I should be Yeah and I suppose I should be happy with that offer, should I?happy with that offer, should I?
SarcasmSarcasm
Sarcasm• Deriving from a Greek word
meaning “to strip off the flesh,” sarcasm is caustic, cutting humour in the form of ironic praise, or speaking oppositely in order to wound
Irony• Comic irony is speaking with a veiled
meaning or an intended meaning that is opposite to or different from your words, aka dry humour. Sarcasm is a form of comic irony.
Banter• A playfully clever or teasing
conversation featuring spontaneous and usually rapid joking. Unlike sarcasm, banter is typically friendly and good humoured.
TALK STRAIGHT
MEAN WHAT YOU SAY
DON’T BE SMART
PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!
With all due respect?With all due respect?Duck…there’ll be no Duck…there’ll be no
respect comingrespect coming
That is interesting That is interesting because I would see because I would see
that differentlythat differently
IRRITATORSIRRITATORS
• To Be Honest..• To Be Brutally Honest…• Are you Serious?• I can see no point in….• That’s Irrelevant…• You Must Realise That…• That’s all very well and good but….
PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!
On the Contrary
I beg to Differ
I don’t mind telling you
YOU ARE WRONGYOU ARE WRONG
PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!
Nothing you can do or say is Nothing you can do or say is going to change my Mindgoing to change my Mind
Intransigence
PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!
Do you not think…Do you not think…
Isn’t that a rather naïve way of looking at Isn’t that a rather naïve way of looking at thatthat
LEADING QUESTIONSLEADING QUESTIONS
PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!
This is the wrong course of action
Stating Your Opinion As A Fact
In My Opinion…I Believe….I think….I Feel….
PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!
You Must…You Should….You Must…You Should….
You Ought…You Need….You Ought…You Need….
DIRECTIONAL LANGUAGEDIRECTIONAL LANGUAGE
PHRASES FROM HELLPHRASES FROM HELL!!
It seems fair to me!
This is a reasonable offer!Commenting Favourably on your Own Commenting Favourably on your Own
ViewpointViewpoint
Free Upgrade!Free Upgrade!• Hi Can you put me through to reservations• Hi Who am I talking to..• Hi John Ryan is my name I wonder can you help…
I was looking to book a room for next Friday….is that possible?
• Connect…Weather/Busy/Accent• Leitrim is a great place• Do you mind if I ask you a question…does your
hotel ever give free upgrades?• If possible
INFLUENCINGINFLUENCING ListenListenBe Interested Be Interested & Interesting& InterestingDon’t Don’t InterruptInterruptEmpathiseEmpathiseSummariseSummariseSeek to Seek to UnderstandUnderstandAgreeAgreeMake them Make them feel good feel good about about themselvesthemselvesBuild TrustBuild Trust
Focus on Focus on WIIFMWIIFM