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6 Principles for Women Leaders

TABLE OF CONTENTSClick on the study title or article you’d like to see:

Study 1: BECOMING VISIONARYArticle 1: Developing a Vision When You're Not a Visionary

Study 2: SERVING IN GOD’S POWERArticle 2: Fulfilling God-Sized Dreams

Study 3: CUSTOMIZING SPIRITUAL FORMATIONArticle 3: Tailor-Making Spiritual Formation

Study 4: RETHINKING WOMEN’S MINISTRYArticle 4: Why I Don’t Do Women’s Ministry

Study 5: LOVING THOSE YOU LEADArticle 5: Loving Those We Lead

Study 6: FINDING STRENGTHArticle 6: Who’s Holding Up Your Arms?

LEADER’S GUIDE - STUDY 1Becoming Visionary

Learn how to serve as an effective leader in your church.

Highly successful entrepreneurs and corporate leaders often attribute their achievements to having a vision—a vision for a service or product not offered by anyone else, or a vision of how a company could broaden, expand, and grow. While the insight, energy, and out-of-the-box thinking of visionary leaders motivate and inspire us, their accomplishments leave us believing that leadership is open to natural visionaries only. Not so, says church leader Kevin Miller, “You can develop a vision even if you’re not a visionary.”

Kevin and his wife, Karen, work with members of their congregation to help them see themselves as leaders and gain the confidence they need to fully use their gifts and talents. The couple’s experience shows there’s no “one size fits all” to leadership, and no single definition of what it means to have a vision for a group. In this study, Kevin offers six practical ways for “non-visionaries” to become effective, inspiring, visionary leaders.

Lesson #1

Scripture:Exodus 3:10–14; 4:1–5, 10–14; 1 Kings 3:5–10; Nehemiah 1:1–11; 2:1–5; Matthew 20:25–28; Acts 6:1–7; Titus 1:5–9; 2:11–15

Based on:“Developing a Vision When You’re Not a Visionary,” by Kevin Miller, GIFTEDFORLEADERSHIP.COM, March 20, 2007

LEADER’S GUIDEBecoming Visionary

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PART 1Identify the Current Issue

Note to leader: Prior to meeting, provide each person with the article “Developing a Vision When You’re Not a Visionary” from GIFTEDFORLEADERSHIP.COM (included at the end of this study).

The typical church congregation defines itself not solely as a body of Sunday-morning worshipers, but as a family of God’s people whose worship extends beyond the sanctuary into fellowship halls, classrooms, homes, and the community. Members form committees charged with directing Sunday school, Bible study, youth activities, neighborhood outreach, and missions. Additional committees oversee finances, grounds maintenance, public relations, social events, and other ministries.

Though members recognize the need for and value of the work these groups perform, few are willing to come forward and serve as leaders. The reason? Most of us do not see ourselves as effective leaders. We’re willing to serve our congregation in various capacities, and we even say yes if asked to join a particular committee, but we pull back when asked to lead the group. We prefer to leave the actual leadership role to someone else—someone dynamic, charismatic, full of ideas—in a word, someone who’s a visionary.

Discussion starters:

[Q] If you’ve ever led a group or committee within your congregation, describe your experience.

[Q] If you serve or have served in a church leadership position, is it difficult to recruit leaders? If so, what reasons do people offer for not accepting leadership?

[Q] If you have never held a leadership position in your congregation, share some of your reasons for not doing so.

[Q] What qualities do you think good, competent leaders must possess? Do you think these qualities can be learned? If so, how?

Optional Activity

Ask a ministry leader to prepare a handout listing all the groups and committees active in the congregation, along with contact names. Discuss the purpose and needs of each one, giving particular attention to groups in need of leaders and team members. Include ministries in which your church is not active but would like to be.

© 2008 • CHRIST IANIT Y TOD AY INTE RNA TI ONAL

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PART 2Discover the Eternal PrinciplesTeaching point one: Leaders build on the vision already in place.

The idea of “coming up with a vision” sounds daunting and has scared off good candidates from assuming a leadership role. Miller invites leaders and potential leaders to ask the question: “Do I even need to come up with a complete vision from scratch?” Often, the leadership role comes with the group’s mission statement or description of purpose already set. As leader, you continue and build on work already in progress, bringing to it your particular gifts and talents to further the aims and plans of the ministry.

The apostle Paul sent Titus to minister to and appoint leaders for the church already established on the island of Crete. In his letter to Titus, Paul listed the personal qualities Titus should look for in ministry leaders. Read Titus 1:5–9 and 2:11–15.

[Q] List the qualities Paul enumerates.

[Q] Why do you suppose he omits popular characteristics such as charismatic, dynamic, innovative, and visionary?

[Q] How do the qualities Paul mentions further the work of the church?

[Q] How might qualities not mentioned, but often promoted as qualities necessary for a leader, work to a church leader’s disadvantage?

[Q] Offer examples of mission statements belonging to existing committees within your congregation. What personal skills and qualities are needed to lead the work of these committees?

Teaching point two: Leaders embrace the challenge and let God establish the vision.

Out-of-the-blue inspiration comes to some leaders, as happened to Billy Graham when he received the vision for Christianity Today magazine. While visions may arrive suddenly and largely unbidden, visions arrive more commonly through deliberate thought and timely experience. Miller describes additional ways church leaders develop a vision for their ministry, namely by responding to the voice of Scripture and by observing and being inspired by another person’s ministry.

Read 1 Kings 3:5–10.

[Q] How does Solomon’s response to God’s offer reveal his approach to his role as king and the vision he held for his reign?

Leader’s Note: Solomon first named the ways God had already blessed him, then realistically confronted the challenge ahead of him, and concluded with a specific request for what he needed to move his kingdom forward.




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[Q] As far as ministry goes, God says, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you” to every believer. As a leader or potential leader in your congregation, what is your response? Offer reasons for your choice.

Optional Activity

Invite participants to paraphrase Solomon’s prayer as it might be applied to various leadership roles within your church. Example for a youth leader: “Lord, you have graciously given me children of my own, and now you ask me to consider leading the youth of my church family. This is an important position, because today’s young people face extraordinary challenges. Lord, I ask you to grant me the wisdom I need to offer sound counsel, set a godly example, and plan meaningful activities. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.” Discuss how a vision for leadership might grow from the prayer.

Teaching point three: Leaders enable others to help create and define the vision.

Miller compares his former top-down leadership style with his wife’s by-consensus style, and finds his wife’s approach the better method. Collaboration takes more time and effort on the part of the leader, but offers three immediate advantages: Collaboration taps into the talents and experience of others; gives participants a vested interest in the success of the project; and shares what could be an intimidating, even off-putting, task for one person.

Jesus expressed the essence of collaborative leadership when he said that “whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant” (Matthew 20:26). Leaders serve when they gladly and humbly give of themselves to guide, enable, and encourage every member of the team.

Read Matthew 20:25–28.

[Q] How does Jesus’ definition of servant leadership play out in the world today? Offer an example of servant leadership in business or the community.

[Q] Why are servant leaders more effective than authoritarian leaders? What makes such leadership work better?

[Q] What skills do leaders need to effectively collaborate with others? Can these skills be learned?

[Q] Based on Jesus’ words, describe how a servant leader might approach establishing a vision for a group.

Teaching point four: Leaders listen.The joke goes like this:

Wife says: “The lawn needs mowing today, and while you’re outside, I want you to get the ladder and caulk the second-floor windows. And by the way, the upstairs toilet is leaking again.”




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Husband hears: “The blah blah blah, and blah blah blah, and by the way, blah blah blah.”

We agree hearing and listening are two different things, and leaders actively listen to the people they seek to serve. They ask probing questions to avoid misunderstanding the issue and applying faulty fixes. Listening keeps leaders in touch with others, who may suggest an insight the leader had never considered, or provide a perspective that sparks an even greater and more engaging vision for the group.

Church leaders who listen meet real needs in practical and beneficial ways, allowing the voices and needs of others to form the core of their ministry’s vision.

Read Acts 6:1–7.

[Q] In the early church, discrimination faced by Grecian widows fell outside the vision the apostles held for their ministry. Discuss the spiritual and practical elements of their solution.

Leader’s Note: Those of godly character and reputation were chosen to perform a service based on specific needs voiced by a group within the congregation. The apostles let the servant leaders work out the best plan to meet those needs.

[Q] What particular needs do the most successful ministries of your church respond to?

What does that tell you about how we should cast vision for a ministry?

[Q] What practical steps can leaders take to ensure all team members feel listened to and comfortable speaking out? Give examples of groups you have been in where you felt encouraged to participate and offer your ideas. What did the leader do to foster a listening environment?

Teaching point five: Leaders ask “What if?”The Bible is replete with leaders who started out claiming, “I can’t.” Remember what Moses said when God asked him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt: “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” (Exodus 3:11). Recall Jonah’s response to God’s command for him to lead the Ninevites from their wickedness: “Jonah ran away from the LORD and headed for Tarshish” (Jonah 1:3), and listen to Governor Felix at Paul’s suggestion he become a Christian leader: “You may leave. When I find it convenient, I will send for you” (Acts 24:25).

Far better than “I can’t” are the words “What if?” What if you lead the team, what would you do? What if you gathered some of your fellow parishioners and brainstormed ways to solve a nagging problem in your congregation? What if you’re the one God is calling to lead a ministry at your church?

Read Exodus 3:10–14 and 4:1–5, 10–14.




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[Q] Which of Moses’ excuses is most commonly heard around churches today? Give contemporary examples.

[Q] In response to Laura’s “I can’t,” Karen Miller asked Laura to consider “What if?” How did a new perspective bring out Laura’s talents and creativity and help her discover her vision?

[Q] Have you ever thought about an issue and asked yourself “What if?” Share an example.

Teaching point six: Leaders act on their ideas.Many times, would-be leaders do not lack a vision—they know what needs to be done and they have good ideas about how to do it—but they fail to follow through on their vision. They may neglect to make realistic plans, recruit the right people, or clearly explain their vision to others; or they give up when the job proves difficult, time consuming, and inconvenient. Unfortunately, a need remains unmet or a service unrendered, even though a potential leader possessed a good and workable vision.

Read Nehemiah 1:1–2:5.

Miller offers Nehemiah as an example of someone whose vision developed as he pondered the plight of the Jews in Jerusalem. If Nehemiah had stopped there, however, his vision would have been nothing more than a wish from afar that conditions would improve for the Jews in Jerusalem. Instead, Nehemiah formulated practical plans, asked for help from a person in a position to do so, sacrificed his own comfort and security, and therefore brought his vision to reality. As a result, he emerges the model of an effective and inspiring leader from his day to our own.

[Q] Someone once said, “A task without vision is drudgery. A vision without a task is a dream. A task with vision is hope.” What truth do you find in these words? Give examples.

[Q] What steps can a ministry leader take to bridge the gap between vision and reality? Relate your answer to circumstances within your congregation, ministry, or group today.

[Q] What sacrifices are commonly required of leaders?

[Q] List practical steps leaders and committee members can take to ensure everyone remains focused on and working toward the group’s vision. What is the responsibility of the leader and leadership team? What is the responsibility of team members?

PART 3Apply Your Findings

Become a visionary leader:




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Build on what’s there. Pray for God’s direction. Collaborate with others. Listen to others. Imagine the possibilities. Follow through with the plan.

Miller brings the question of leadership where it belongs—to every faithful disciple. Your Christlike leadership starts with the influence you have on others in your family, in your church, and in your community. No matter what your role, you exert influence. Others see and interact with you, and they come away with an impression of what it’s like to follow Christ based on your example.

While your leadership begins at the foot of the Cross, it goes in whatever direction the Spirit leads you. He uses your willingness to learn, your talents, passions, and skills to lead God’s people closer to him in love and service. He has given you everything you need to perform the work he has in mind for you.

Envision yourself as a leader, because that’s the vision God has for you.

Action Point: Personally explore the questions Miller poses: What are my true interests? What talents and skills do I possess? Talk with someone in a leadership position at your church to discuss where your answers fit with current needs. Dedicate yourself for a period of one or two years to lead or co-lead a group in need of a leader, or lead a group dedicated to a certain task and see it to the finish.

—Patricia Mitchell is a writer of devotionals and Bible studies.

Additional Resources ChrisitanBibleStudies.com

-Leading Others-Leading From the Front-Become an Encourager-Revelation: Letters to the Churches

Be All You Can Be , John C. Maxwell (Cook, 2007; ISBN 9780781448444)

Leading from the Second Chair: Serving Your Church, Fulfilling Your Role, and Realizing Your Dreams, Mike Bonem, Roger Patterson (John Wiley, 2005; ISBN 9780787977399)

Leading with Love , Alexander Strauch (Lewis & Roth, vendor [no date]; ISBN 9780936083216)

Making Small Groups Work , Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend (Zondervan, 2003; ISBN 9780310250289)



http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item_no=250285&netp_id=305825&event=ESRCN&item_code=WW&view=details


http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?item_no=97739X&netp_id=381591&event=ESRCN&item_code=WW&view=details



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http://biblestudies.stores.yahoo.net/lefrfr.html

http://biblestudies.stores.yahoo.net/leadingothers.html

http://www.christianbiblestudies.com/


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Spiritual Leadership: A Commitment to Excellence for Every Believer , J. Oswald Sanders (Moody, 2007; ISBN 9780802482273)

Spiritual Leadership: The Interactive Study , Henry and Richard Blackaby (B & H, 2006; ISBN 9780805440744)

Visioneering , Andy Stanley (Multnomah, 2005; ISBN 9781590524565)






ARTICLE

Developing a Vision When You're Not a VisionaryBy Kevin Miller, for the study “Becoming Visionary.”

My wife, Karen, and I are both in leadership at our church. So dinner-table discussions often come back to how to help other Christians step into leadership. Volunteers tell us, “I might be willing to facilitate, but I’m not sure I’m a leader.” People don’t consider themselves leaders, because when they say leader, they think of only one type: a strong, visionary leader. And they know they’re not that.

But you don’t have to be a visionary to lead well. We’ve found we can help people move forward as leaders when we say to them, “You can develop a vision even if you’re not a visionary.” Here are six ways that mortals like us can see where a group needs to go:

1. Tie in to a bigger vision that’s already in place. First, ask, “Do I even need to come up with a complete vision from scratch?” Chances are, you don’t need to. In most situations, a leader earlier on or higher up has already set a vision, and you can tie what you’re doing into that.

Barb is taking on the women’s ministry at our church. Does she need to create a vision? Not really. First, her ministry is part of a church, and churches have been going on for 2,000 years and already have a vision: to make disciples through worship, fellowship, teaching, prayer, missions, etc. Second, her ministry is part of our local church, which already has a vision to “Build a sanctuary of transformation” (read: “Become a place where people’s lives change for the better because of God”). And finally, Barb’s inheriting a women’s ministry that already has a vision to encourage women and help them draw closer to God.

So Barb doesn’t need to ask, “How do I come up with a vision?” Instead, she can ask, “What part of this vision do I want to build on? How can I improve our fulfillment of that?”



ARTICLEDeveloping a Vision When You're Not a Visionary

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If you aren’t starting with a vision, though, here are five ways you can work toward one.

2. Pray and wait on God. This is what most Christians think of when they think of “getting a vision.” What does it look like? That varies.

Maybe you’ll be reading Scripture, and the particular section captivates you. That’s what happened to a guy named Francis: He wandered into a church and heard being read Jesus’ words to the rich young ruler, “Go, sell all you have and give to the poor, and come follow me.” He actually did what he heard, and that’s why he’s now known as St. Francis.

Or you may be inspired by someone else’s ministry. When you see what he or she is doing, you realize, “Oh, that’s what I could be!” For example, hearing preachers like John Ortberg and Tim Keller moved me; I saw that preaching in a way that touches both mind and heart would be a great way to invest my life.

Or maybe you’ll literally have a middle-of-the-night experience. Billy Graham founded Christianity Today because “About two o’clock one night in 1953, an idea raced through my mind, freshly connecting all the things I had said and pondered about reaching a broader audience. Trying not to disturb Ruth, I slipped out of bed and into my study upstairs to write. A couple of hours later, the concept of a new magazine was complete.” (from The Leadership Secrets of Billy Graham)

3. Gather a group and jointly develop a vision. When I used to take on a new role at work or church, I would (a) gather a group, (b) cast my vision for this area, (c) see who got on board with the vision.

Then I noticed that my wife did things differently. She would (a) gather a group, (b) talk and pray with all of them, until they all jointly came up with a vision, (c) not worry about who got on board, because they already were on board. When people come up with the vision, they want to help make it happen. Two years ago, Karen created an adult-education ministry at our church, and people said to her, “Wow! How you’d get such a strong team of people to help?” The answer was simple: She let them develop the vision.

If you use this approach to find your vision, be sure to assemble a “dream team,” people with strong gifts in the area. Then, set a few basic parameters, so the group has just enough direction to start the conversation.




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Why did I think I have to come up with the vision by myself? Now I try to gather a group of strong leaders and together talk and pray and develop a vision. That takes longer, but the ministry lasts longer.

4. Listen to the people you want to help. You don’t have to be great at coming up with vision, if you’re willing to listen to the people you want to help. If you listen well, people will tell you what they really need. In other words, the people you want to serve help set your vision.

Twenty-five years ago, a guy at Christianity Today named Keith did research among pastors who were getting our Leadership Journal and asked them, “What do you need?” One big answer: “Trained lay leaders.”

We tried an annual 130-page journal for lay leaders, and it lasted only 3 years before it died. We prototyped a 4-page print newsletter in 50 churches, but those churches collectively yawned. One day I was talking to two pastors and I said, “I don’t understand. You say you want trained lay leaders. So we published a long journal, and you said it was too long. We published a short newsletter, and it didn’t wow you. What do you REALLY want?”

They said, in essence, “Choice, customization, convenience.” So we launched a loose-leaf notebook (pull out just the page you want and photocopy it to train your leaders) and then a website, www.BuildingChurchLeaders.com. Today, Building Church Leaders is one of Christianity Today’s most successful websites, reaching 75,000 church leaders through its newsletter and many others through the site.

The point: Where did the vision for that come from? Not from us. It came from the people we wanted to help.

5. Stay in your gifts and let them guide you. The idea here is that God has already shown you much of what He wants you to do in life by the way he made you. So ask yourself, “What has God given me? What passions? What skills? What opportunities? What concerns?”

My wife, Karen, who’s on staff at our church, was talking with a young woman named Laura. Laura said, “I couldn’t lead the college ministry. I’m not a visionary.” So Karen told her, “Well, you recently graduated from college, and you like college students. So if you did work with college students, what would you do?” Laura talked nonstop for 15 minutes. She had more vision than she thought she did, because she already had the suitable gifts for college ministry. As Laura talked about “Here’s what I care about and what I would do,” her gifts began to express themselves in a solid vision.




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6. Solve some problem right in front of you. Often vision is born by passing through the narrow and dark birth canal of problems. You see the problem, and you start to work on it. You don’t necessarily feel inspired or see lights. All you are doing is trying to solve some problem right in front of you. But later, everyone else says, “What a great vision!”

The Bible’s classic example is Nehemiah. He hears a terrible report about the few remaining Jews living in Jerusalem: "Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire." The news makes him cry. Nehemiah fasts, prays, and begins to ask for help and to assemble the people and materials. Today we hold up Nehemiah as an example of a visionary leader: he conceived and launched a staggering city-rebuilding project. Nehemiah was simply trying to solve one problem right in front of him.

Bringing your vision to fulfillment. Once you’ve got your vision, through one or more of the 6 ways listed above, do something with it. Some people don’t like the word “vision” because they’ve seen it stand for “lots of hype and nothing happens.” My sister-in-law worked for a huge credit-card-processing company. She told me, “The execs would come down and say, ‘You’re all leaders.’ They’d say, ‘We’re going to be world-class.’ But then they’d go back to their offices, and nothing would really change.”

To avoid hype, dedicate yourself to fulfilling your vision. In Acts 20:24, the apostle Paul says, “I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me.” Bill Hybels comments on this verse: “What is Paul saying? I think he’s saying, ‘The moment I received my vision from God, fulfilling that vision became the pressing priority of my life.’”

Kevin Miller is an executive vice-president forChristianity Today International.

GiftedforLeadership.com, March 20, 2007



LEADER’S GUIDE - STUDY 2Serving in God’s Power

God can accomplish great things through us when we are submitted to his purpose.

Do you have a vision for your ministry? Are you struggling to fulfill that vision in your own strength and with your own abilities? Have you given up on a vision you once had? Are you overwhelmed with the enormity of your leadership responsibilities?

In “Fulfilling God-Sized Dreams” Anita Carman says, “Over the years, God has taught me that even though he wants us to make our moments count, what he doesn’t want is for us to think that we can make life happen. The fact is, fallen humanity could not possibly accomplish anything of spiritual eternal value on its own.”

Women in leadership are capable people. We have talents and abilities, and are often natural leaders. Yet in order to fulfill what God has planned for our lives, we must submit to his way of doing things. We need to slow down so that we can listen, trust, prepare, and wait for God. Only then will we see the divine fulfillment of the dreams he has placed in our hearts.

Lesson #2

Scripture:Genesis 13:14–18; Joshua 1:1–9; Matthew 28:16–20

Based on:“Fulfilling God-Sized Dreams,” by Anita Carman, GIFTEDFORLEADERSHIP.COM, February 20, 2007

LEADER’S GUIDEServing in God’s Power

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Identify the Current IssueNote to leader: At the beginning of the class, provide each person with the article “Fulfilling God-Sized Dreams” from GIFTEDFORLEADERSHIP.COM (included at the end of this study).

Anita Carman says, “When God entrusted me with the vision for Inspire Women, it was his way to teach me how to serve in his power. He knew that if the assignment was not big enough, I would think I could accomplish something on my own for God.”

It’s easy for Christian leaders to get so caught up in what we are doing for God that we forget to include him in what was supposed to be his work. It’s equally tempting to stay within the boundaries of our comfort zone or natural abilities.

God wants to move us beyond what we can do on our own. He has plans for us that exceed anything we could ever imagine ourselves doing. When he puts those dreams in our hearts, it’s our responsibility to get our “marching orders” from him. In other words, we need to trust God that he can and will accomplish his will through us—no matter how impossible it may seem.


[Q] Carman says that God gives us big dreams to teach us “how to serve in his power.” Do you agree with her statement? Why or why not? For what other reasons might God give us what seems to be an impossible dream?

[Q] What is the difference between God-given dreams and human aspirations? Can they coexist? Explain.

[Q] In what way is it difficult for you to let God move you in a new or unexpected direction? Think of a time when God called you to move out of your comfort zone. What thoughts and feelings did you experience? What took place in your relationship with God during that time? What did you learn?

PART 2Discover the Eternal PrinciplesTeaching point one: Our vision is a part of God’s all-encompassing vision for the church.

Read Matthew 28:16–20.

This passage is commonly referred to as The Great Commission, because it clearly outlines God’s vision for the church. God calls every believer to take the gospel to unbelievers. But God doesn’t stop there. His vision is that every believer would not only win people to Christ, but actively disciple those people in the faith.

Any vision that God gives us will fit into his primary vision of salvation and discipling. If we don’t keep this in mind, we will never be able to fulfill our calling




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in the way God intended. Carman says that Christian leaders must “[f]eel God’s pain and be captivated by the emotion that is driving God in his mission.” If we don’t know what God’s vision is, how can we know what we must do to fulfill it?

[Q] According to the Matthew passage, what should believers do for new converts?

[Q] What are practical ways you can do that in your ministry?

[Q] How does your personal vision fit into God’s greater vision? In what ways might you need to adjust your focus?

Optional Activity:

Vision is often birthed out of hardship. Well-known Christian leader Charles Colson says, “Out of the depths of my prison experience came the vision for Prison Fellowship’s ministry, which involves thousands of volunteers and brings the hope of Christ to prisoners throughout the US and abroad.” 1

Using a whiteboard or poster board, brainstorm as a group biblical, historical, or present day examples of how God gives vision in the midst of hardship.

If needed, use these examples to stimulate the discussion: MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) was started by a mother whose child was killed in an accident caused by a drunk driver. Many ordinary people travel to third-world countries and come home with a vision to right a wrong or bring comfort to the comfortless.

Biblical examples of people who experienced vision in hardship include Hannah (1 Samuel 1), Moses (Exodus 2–3), Ruth (Ruth 1–4), Paul (Acts 9), and many others. If time permits, have individual group members look up these passages, read them briefly, and then summarize the passages for the rest of the group members.

During the discussion, draw group members toward these questions:

If vision is often birthed out of hardship, what does this tell you about how God works?

What does this tell you about how humans act and think? Does hardship or suffering always precipitate vision? Why or why not?

Teaching point two: Our dedication to the process of the dream will determine our future and long-term success in the kingdom of God.

Read Joshua 1:1–9.

The Israelites had been wandering in the desert for 40 years, unable to see the fulfillment of their dream—to take possession of the Promised Land. In the midst of this hardship, God gave Joshua a God-sized vision of leading the Israelites out

1 The New Encyclopedia of Christian Quotations (Baker Books, 2000, page 1091).




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of the desert and into the land. In this passage, God not only gave Joshua a vision, but he also gave Joshua specific instructions on how to begin. Joshua accepted the calling and embarked on the journey of fulfilling the dream. However, in the next few chapters, we see the long process of training and preparation that had to occur before Joshua saw his God-given dream fulfilled.

Carman writes, “Don’t be in a hurry. Trust God to prepare you before sending you in his name.” When God gives us a vision, we are often tempted to jump in headfirst. We get so consumed with the vision that it is hard to wait for God’s timing and guidance, yet God wants us to wait upon him for every step.

When the seed of a God-sized dream is planted in our hearts, it often takes much longer to grow or blossom than we would like. But God uses this time to prepare us for what he has planned. If we can view this process as part of the fulfillment of the dream, we will be able to trust God more fully and rejoice when he accomplishes through us what we could never accomplish on our own.

[Q] After God gave Joshua a huge dream, what were some of the specific beginning instructions God gave him?

In what way would these instructions be helpful to us as we fulfill the dream God has given us?

Leader’s Note: Specific instructions to Joshua included: a) “get ready”; b) “be strong and courageous”; c) “obey”; d) “meditate” (on God’s Word); and e) “do not be terrified; do not be discouraged.”

[Q] The following chapters of Joshua outline the process that Joshua and the Israelites completed before the vision was fully realized. How did this process help to train Joshua for his calling?

How can we embrace the process of fulfilling a dream? What are the benefits of doing so? What are the perils of not doing so?

[Q] What part of the process are you in right now? Are you at the beginning, feeling excited and awed? Are you plugging away through the almost-but-not-yet part? Is the fulfillment in sight? In what areas do you need God’s guidance and direction? How can you encourage others in their journey through the process?

Teaching point three: Envision your dream and walk it out through faith in God and his ability to work through you.

“Visualize what life will look like when you are finished and begin celebrating your journey as part of the victory,” Carman writes. Having a vision and knowing how it fits into God’s vision is the first step. Training and patience are the second step. But walking through the vision is what makes the vision real.

Read Genesis 13:14–18.

God gave Abram the unthinkable vision of owning the entire land of Canaan. Not only that, but God also promised the as yet childless Abram that his descendants would be too numerous to count. After giving this promise, God gave instruction:




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“Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you.” So Abram obeyed. He left the place where he was, and began traveling the land God had promised him, building altars and worshiping at each new place he came to.

Abram would not have had the courage to walk out his vision if he had not trusted God. Genesis 15:6 says that Abram “believed the Lord.” Faith is the catalyst for seeing vision come to pass, because faith transcends what we can do in our own ability. Carman says, “The fact is, fallen humanity could not possibly accomplish anything of spiritual eternal value on its own. . . . There was no question in my mind that God was the one making his vision come true, and I was an earthen vessel who was privileged to go along for the ride.” The bottom line is that we must trust God, believing that he will work through us to accomplish his vision when we surrender everything, including the vision, to him. And then, as Carman writes, “[W]hen the vision is fulfilled, lay your gift at God’s feet as your form of worship, as a living sacrifice for his honor and glory.”

[Q] What does it mean to “walk out” your vision? How does “walking out” your vision help to bring it to fruition?

[Q] In the Genesis passage, Abram chose to believe God against seemingly impossible odds. What was Abram’s first step of faith into the vision God had given him?

What step of faith do you need to take toward the realization of the vision God has given you?

[Q] What is the significance of the altar that Abram built (v. 18)? Why would it be important for us to build “altars” along our faith journey? How could we do so?

[Q] Once our vision is realized, how should we respond to God?

What do you think you will have learned by the end of your faith journey? Should those things be a part of the goal of the whole process?


God has an all-encompassing vision for the body of Christ, but he also gives individual visions to those who will accept them. As leaders, we must be sure that we don’t fool ourselves into thinking that we can accomplish our God-given vision in our own strength. As Carman confesses, “[My] vision was so super-human-sized that I was forced to go to God every day to ask for his marching orders.” This is as it should be, because he is the dream maker; we are the obedient servants.

Action Point: Think of the dream that is burning in your heart. Is it something that you could easily accomplish on your own? Then let God expand his vision for you. Is your dream something so big or impossible that you’re afraid to tell anyone else about it? If so, then surrender yourself to God, admit your limitations, and commit to trust him. Then he will be able to accomplish what he has chosen for you to do.




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—Amy Rognlie is a freelance writer, specializing in Christian education materials.


-Leading Others-Leading From the Front-Become an Encourager-Revelation: Letters to the Churches

The Dream Giver: Following Your God-Given Destiny , Bruce Wilkinson (Multnomah, 2003; ISBN 9781590522011)

From Dream to Destiny: The Ten Steps You Must Go Through to Fulfill God’s Purpose For Your Life, Robert Morris (Gospel Light, 2001; ISBN 9780830736744)

Your Dream, God's Plan: How to Follow Your Dreams and Let God be Your Guide, Matthew Buchenau, (Winepress Publishing, 2000; ISBN 9781579212988)

The Caleb Quest: What You Can Learn from the Boldest Dreamer in the Bible,Mark Atteberry (Thomas Nelson, 2006; ISBN 9780785287841)

What on Earth Am I Here For? Rick Warren (Zondervan, 2004; ISBN 9780310264835)

God’s Bold Call to Women: Embrace Your God-Given Destiny with Kingdom Authority, Barbara J. Yoder (Gospel Light, 2005; ISBN 9780830737192)





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ARTICLE

Fulfilling God-Sized Dreams

By Anita Carman, for the study “Serving in God’s Power.”

I remember my husband saying to me one day, “It must be tiring to be you!” He was observing my intensity and just watching me in action made him tired. Over the years, God has taught me that even though he wants us to make our moments count, what he doesn’t want is for us to think that we can make life happen. The fact is, fallen humanity could not possibly accomplish anything of spiritual eternal value on its own. God’s Word reminds us in Isaiah 64:6: “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.” Jesus tells us in John 15:5–6: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

When God entrusted me with the vision for Inspire Women, it was his way to teach me how to serve in his power. He knew that if the assignment was not big enough, I would think I could accomplish something on my own for God. So he made the assignment monumental. In other words, no one in her right mind would ever think she could part the Red Sea on her own! The vision of Inspire Women was to rally women across the city to inspire women of all ethnicities and economic levels to connect their lives with God’s purpose. To put our treasure behind our words that affirmed the potential of God’s daughters to change the world with the power of his Word, Inspire Women then funded scholarships and biblical resources to empower women to serve at their potential in missions and ministry. Since 2003, the ministry has invested over $1,000,000 to fund biblical resources and scholarships.

The vision began with an incessant intensity from God’s heart pulsating to my heart with zero in the bank, no office space, and no human-designed plan to reach the goal. The vision was so super-human-sized that I was forced to go to God every day to ask for his marching orders. There was no question in my mind that God was the one making his vision come true, and I was an earthen vessel who was privileged to go along for the ride. If

ARTICLEFulfilling God-Sized Dreams

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you are on God’s mission, I pray the following principles will guide you in your life:

1. Don’t be in a hurry. Trust God to prepare you before sending you in his name.

2. Feel God’s pain and be captivated by the emotion that is driving God in his mission.

3. Visualize what life will look like when you are finished and begin celebrating your journey as part of the victory.

And when the vision is fulfilled, lay your gift at God’s feet as your form of worship, as a living sacrifice for his honor and glory!

Anita Carman is one of our Gifted for Leadership editorial advisors.

GiftedforLeadership.com, February 20, 2007



LEADER’S GUIDE - STUDY 3Customizing Spiritual

FormationHow do we develop a plan for spiritual formation

that will foster lasting life change?

“There is no one-size-fits-all approach to spiritual formation,” says Angie Ward in her article for GiftedforLeadership.com. Ward believes that Christian leaders should help women take the next step in their spiritual journey instead of focusing on how to reach the “ideal” level of Christian maturity. She encourages women to design their own plan for spiritual formation rather than expecting everyone to follow the same method. While the ultimate goal is spiritual maturity, there are hundreds of baby steps needed to reach that goal. Ward suggests focusing on manageable activities that produce fairly quick results and create a hunger for more spiritual growth.

In what unique ways does God bring people into intimate fellowship with him? How do we encourage others to take the next step in their spiritual growth journey? How is a hunger for spiritual growth created? This study will focus on encouraging individual spiritual growth in creative, step-by-step ways.

Lesson #3

Scripture:2 Chronicles 34; Psalm 119:1–18, 54; Daniel 6:4–13; Matthew 14:6–23; Acts 2:42–47

Based on:“Tailor-Making Spiritual Formation,” by Angie Ward, GIFTEDFORLEADERSHIP.COM

LEADER’S GUIDECustomizing Spiritual Formation

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Note to leader: At the beginning of the class, provide each person with the article “Tailor-Making Spiritual Formation” from GIFTEDFORLEADERSHIP.COM (included at the end of this study).

How do we encourage spiritual growth? Often church leaders suggest predetermined steps that are based more on tradition than biblical mandates or examples. Offering quick fix programs for spiritual growth attempts to stencil people into exacting Christian shapes. This method threatens the essential focus of intimacy with God, the cornerstone of growing more like Christ. If we believe our relationship with God is based on a checklist of behaviors, we will be overwhelmed before we begin.

True spiritual growth focuses on developing an intimate, trusting, obedient relationship with God, who daily gives us the grace we need to take the next step in our spiritual journey. People are in different places at different times, with specific needs and hurts that one-size-fits-all spiritual packaging just doesn’t fit. God meets people in different ways, certainly through his Word and prayer, but also in nature, music, relationships, serving, giving, life circumstances, and countless indefinable situations that he uses to draw us nearer to himself. God created each of us uniquely, and he meets us in ways that are often beyond our expectations or imagination. As leaders in the church, we should encourage people to figure out what methods work best for them in their spiritual journey.


[Q] What standard practices do church leaders often suggest for spiritual growth? Which of these are biblical mandates and which are based more on tradition?

[Q] What has contributed to your spiritual growth?

[Q] Is there a set plan that we can rely on to ensure spiritual maturity? Why or why not?

[Q] How should leaders in the church encourage spiritual growth for themselves and in others?

[Q] What characteristics of spiritual maturity do you observe in people who you believe walk closely with God?




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PART 2Discover the Eternal PrinciplesTeaching point one: Take the next step.

Read 2 Chronicles 34.

Josiah was only eight years old when he became king. If someone had told him that to be a “mature” follower of God he would need to tear down all of the idols, smash them into powder, repair the house of the Lord, inspire the wandering Israelites to give generously to God’s work, encourage worship through music, find the lost Word of God and begin to follow it, and lead the people back to worshiping the one true God—surely he would have been so overwhelmed that he wouldn’t have known where to begin.

Our gracious God did not expect Josiah to do all of this immediately. This chapter of Chronicles outlines a step-by-step, year-after-year pattern of spiritual growth in Josiah—and consequently in the nation of Israel. Josiah was 16 years old when he began to seek God, twenty years old when he purged Judah of idolatry, and 26 years old when he repaired the temple.

[Q] What was the next step in Josiah’s spiritual formation once the altars of the idols were torn down and God’s house was rebuilt? What does this say about the step-by-step spiritual growth of Josiah?

[Q] Josiah ground the idols into powder and scattered them on the graves of those who had sacrificed to them. Why? What does this say about his passion for God?

How many years had Josiah been walking with God at this point in his life?

Leader’s Note: Four years.

[Q] How many years had Josiah been walking with God before he found the Book of the Law?

Leader’s Note: Ten years.

Why do you think God waited so long to reveal the lost book to Josiah?

[Q] What spiritual landmarks would you chronicle in your journey with God? Where have you seen the most growth? When did you develop a passion for God so great that you decided to smash “idols” in your life? When and how did you develop a love for God’s Word?

[Q] How did Josiah include other people in his spiritual journey?

How can we encourage others to grow spiritually?

[Q] Josiah’s spiritual growth was a step-by-step process. How can you take the next step in your spiritual journey?




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Optional Activity: In our well-meaning intentions to help other believers, we must be careful not to overwhelm them with expectations of spiritual growth that focus on the “arrival” of spiritual maturity, instead of a progressive, steady growth in intimacy with God.

Consider the following scenario.

Betsy is a 26-year-old mother of three children ranging from 3 months to 8 years in age. She and her husband became Christians while in college. They are still young in their faith. Their extended families are not believers. Betsy says she does not have time to read the Bible nor spend much time in prayer. She also reveals that she is lonely as a stay-at-home mom and misses the adult conversation and friendship that she had at work. She is a talented musician and has been asked to participate in the worship team, but she does not feel she can make the time commitment that this would require.

Role play a conversation between Betsy and a leader in the church for each of the examples below.

A. A church leader thinks Betsy should spend 45 minutes in “quiet time” every morning before the children rise, insists that joining a formal Bible study is essential, and believes Betsy has an obligation to join the worship team to use her talents for the Lord.

B. A church leader listens to Betsy explain her life circumstances and leads her to find an individualized method that will encourage consistent growth. (Consider using questions to help Betsy find her own solutions.)

Suggestions might include:

1. Leaving a Bible open on the table throughout the day to read a few verses at a time when she has a few moments.

2. Using music at home as a means to worship God.

3. Conversational prayer with God throughout the day.

4. Developing a one-on-one informal mentoring relationship with another woman.

[Q] Compare/contrast “Betsy’s” response in each situation. How do you think a young mom might feel after each of these conversations? Explain which method would be most encouraging to you and why.

[Q] What other practical suggestions might you give this young mom to encourage her to take the next step in her spiritual growth?

[Q] What often happens to young believers when they are overwhelmed with the to-do lists of being a follower of Christ?

[Q] How can we avoid teaching spiritual growth in a checklist format? What should we focus on when we encourage others to grow spiritually?

Leader’s Note: Taking the next step toward greater intimacy with God.




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Teaching point two: Find creative ways to spend time in the Word and in prayer.

Read Psalm 119:1–18, 54, and Matthew 14:6–23.

Spending time in the Word and in prayer is essential to spiritual growth. Instead of specific formats, however, Ward says we should encourage regular discipline that recognizes and maximizes each person’s unique situation in a way that will foster lasting life change. The writer of Psalm 119 outlined a variety of creative ways to focus on the Word of God, including asking the Holy Spirit to open his eyes to the truth of Scripture, memorization, speaking the Word out loud, meditation, and musical lyrics based on Scripture. Figuring out how best to hide God’s Word in our hearts is an individual process. The key is to be resolved to not neglect the Word of God, which is essential to steadfast obedience and intimacy with God.

Finding time to spend alone with God was even difficult for Jesus at times. After John the Baptist’s death, Jesus withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place, only to be met on the shore by crowds who had arrived on foot. Jesus allowed the interruption so that he could heal the sick and feed the crowd of over 5,000 people. Jesus was resolved, however, to spend time with the Father, and he eventually sent the crowd and his disciples away and went to a mountainside to pray alone.

[Q] How might we encourage people to spend time in the Word and in prayer if they say their schedule does not allow for it?

[Q] How should we handle interruptions to our time with God?

[Q] Psalm 119 outlines a variety of ways to study God’s Word. Which of these methods do you find effective? Are any of these methods difficult for you?

[Q] In what other ways might we focus on Scripture throughout the day?

[Q] Scripture tells us to pray continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17). How might we encourage people to pray throughout the day? In what creative ways can we carve out time for prayer? (If you need hints, Ward gives a few in her article.)

Teaching point three: Be proactive in developing friendships with other Christians.

Read Acts 2:42–47.

Church leaders often recommend formal mentoring, such as how Elijah mentored Elisha (1 Kings 19:21). Bible study groups are another common way for believers to foster accountability and friendship with those who will walk through life with them, supporting them through prayer and practical assistance. While many people benefit from these types of formal relationships, others find them awkward or difficult to fit into busy schedules.

Natural community and friendship among believers may be less frequently regarded as essential to spiritual growth. The early Christian church understood




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that spiritual maturity occurs naturally when we fellowship with other believers. They devoted themselves to living out their faith together. Not only did they spend time ministering and praying together, they regularly ate at each other’s homes and met every day in the temple courts. Natural community with other believers encouraged “glad and sincere hearts” (Acts 2:46). Not only did this lifestyle foster spiritual growth in believers, but many new people came to know Christ as their Savior.

[Q] Why is community with other believers foundational to spiritual growth?

[Q] What happens when we lack Christian fellowship?

[Q] Brainstorm creative ways for busy people to develop relationships with other Christians.

Leader’s Note: Consider ministering together, leisure activities, working on projects together, etc.

[Q] How have other believers been important to your spiritual journey?

[Q] Do you think you have enough Christian fellowship? If not, how might you be proactive in developing friendships with other believers?

Teaching point four: Develop self-discipline and regular habits to promote lasting life changes.

Read Daniel 6:4–13.

Daniel prayed three times a day. He had developed a habit that worked well for him, and was so consistent that even the king’s advisers noticed it. Daniel lived a disciplined life.

Government officials in the United States do not usually threaten our time with God, but it can be shoved aside by busy schedules and failure to make it a priority. It is important to develop a plan to spend time with God that works for us, so that we will be more likely to develop a consistent discipline that promotes lasting changes.

[Q] What circumstances make it difficult for you to spend time alone with God?

[Q] Why is it important to be consistent in our spiritual journey?

[Q] How do we balance consistency with flexibility? Give some examples of a consistent yet flexible plan to be in the Word and in prayer.

[Q] Why might we be more likely to be consistent in our spiritual walk if our methods are individualized?

[Q] How might consistency improve your time spent with God?




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Spiritual growth is dependent on an intimate, vibrant relationship with God, not a prescribed pattern of religious obligations. True spiritual growth happens by taking the next step in our spiritual journey. It requires consistency and self-discipline, but should leave room for flexibility and individuality. Methods should not be mistaken for a formula to follow, but rather seen as tools to help us focus on a greater intimacy with the Heavenly Father, who loves us more than we can think or imagine.

Answer the following questions, and then apply them to the activity below.

[Q] What are the essential elements of spiritual growth?

[Q] How might we encourage consistent spiritual progress while allowing for flexibility and individuality?

Action Point: God created each of us uniquely. Consider the following Myers-Briggs personality traits (http://www.education.com):

A. The way people receive energy and focus attention.

1. Extroverts — Outgoing individuals who feel comfortable in groups, have a wide range of friends, and enjoy being with other people. Being with others energizes these people.

2. Introverts — Individuals who are reserved, reflective, and prefer to do things alone or with one or two other people with whom they feel comfortable. Time alone is needed to energize these people.

B. The way people receive information.

1. Sensing — These people pay attention to physical reality: what they see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. They notice facts, remember details, and prefer hands-on experience.

2. Intuition — These people pay attention to impressions or the meaning of the information received. They see the big picture then find facts.

C. The way people make decisions.

1. Thinking — When making decisions, these people look for the basic truth or principle to be applied regardless of the specific situation. They look for logical explanations or solutions to life, have a strong sense of fairness, believe telling the truth is more important than being tactful, and can be seen as task-oriented.

2. Feeling — These people make decisions by considering what others care about and the viewpoint of all involved. They communicate well with others, are concerned about harmony in relationships, and express concern and compassion.

D. Lifestyle preferences.




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3. Judging — These people prefer a more structured lifestyle. They prefer an orderly way of life, feel more comfortable when decisions are made, and like to bring life under control. They appear task oriented, make lists, get work done before play, and plan ahead to avoid rushing before a deadline.

4. Perceiving — These people prefer a more flexible and adaptable lifestyle. They prefer to understand and adapt to their surroundings rather than to organize them. They are open to new experiences and information, appear loose and casual, keep plans to a minimum, and are stimulated by approaching deadlines.

Also consider the following learning styles:

Visual learners — prefer pictures, diagrams, and written text that is broken up by headings. They mentally visualize what is happening in the text when they are reading. These people characteristically draw when they are talking, wave their hands, and take notes.

Auditory learners — listen carefully to what is said. Kinesthetic learners — pick things up and handle them, walk around while

learning, and want to physically try things out.

Group activity: Do the following activity in groups of two or three. Choose characteristics from each of the above categories. Identify creative strategies for spiritual growth that may work well for the personality type that you have chosen. Share your conclusions with the large group.

Personal application: Use the personality inventory outlined above to help you to identify your own strengths, weaknesses, and personality preferences. Use this information to help you develop a consistent plan to take the next step in your spiritual formation.

Study prepared by Julie Kloster, freelance writer and regular contributor to ChristianBibleStudies.com


-Spiritual Formation-Spiritual Disciplines-The Key to Spiritual Growth

Connecting with God in a Disconnected World: A Guide For Spiritual Growth and Renewal, Carolyn Coon Mowchan, Damian Anthony Vraniak (Augsburg Fortress, 2003; ISBN 0806649968)

Essential Christianity: Practical Steps For Spiritual Growth , Bill Hybels, Kevin G. Harney, Sherry Harney (Wr, 2005/Trade paperback; ISBN 0310266041)

Life Essentials for Knowing God Better, Experiencing God Deeper, Loving God More, Tony Evans (Moody Publishers, 2007; ISBN 9780802485748)








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Overcoming the 7 Obstacles to Spiritual Growth: The Journey to a Closer Walk with God, Dwight L. Carlson (Harvest House Publishers, 2006; ISBN 0736917667)

Tired of Do-List Christianity?: Debunking the Misconceptions That Hold Back Real Spiritual Growth and Steal Your Joy, Scott Morton (Nav Press, 2006; ISBN 1576837963)







ARTICLE

Tailor-Making Spiritual FormationBy Angie Ward, for the study “Customizing Spiritual Formation.”

If I were to think of myself as the model godly woman, I’d picture myself sitting at the table in my breakfast nook, steam rising from the fresh cup of coffee in my hand, reading my study Bible and Beth Moore book by the rays of the early morning sunlight that stream through my windows, the faint sound of birds chirping in my flower-filled yard.

As I’ve struggled for years to reach this spiritual “ideal,” I’ve finally realized there are a number of problems with it: 1. I don’t like coffee; 2. I am not a morning person; 3. I have two young boys who fill the house with noise the minute they awaken; 4. I don’t do flowers, just ask my husband; 5. I don’t have any of Beth Moore’s books.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to spiritual formation.

Each woman has a completely different story, personality, and lifestyle. Therefore, as leaders it is important for us to help women develop their own plan for spiritual growth, instead of just pointing everyone toward the same program or method as the guarantee of success.

When I visit a personal trainer at the gym, she doesn’t give me a pre-designed, standard exercise plan; she observes my strengths, weaknesses, and lifestyle, and develops a customized workout plan based on that information. The ultimate goal is total body fitness; however, there are hundreds of baby steps that contribute to meeting that goal. She would never expect me to start by running five miles or setting the weight machine at the heaviest setting. Instead, she encourages manageable activities that show fairly quick results, creating a natural hunger for more.

In the same way, as Christian leaders we should seek to join women wherever they are on their spiritual journey, helping them take the next

Copyright © 2008 • CHRIST IANIT Y TOD AY INTE RNA TI ONAL


ARTICLETailor-Making Spiritual Formation

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step instead of focusing on how far they have to go until they reach the “ideal.” Following are some manageable yet effective ideas for the most basic elements of spiritual formation.

Community: This is more than the typical church grapevine or casual associations. Women need deep friendships that include personal accountability, but this can take so many forms. Some women do best in a structured small group or Bible study; others, like me, feel safer initially yet ultimately very challenged in a less structured setting. At a previous church, I started golfing regularly with a group of women. It didn’t take long before we were sharing the depths of our hearts at the same time we were improving our handicaps. Community can never be forced. Whether it’s a shared meal or a shared interest, look to capitalize on natural connections.

Bible reading: There is absolutely no substitute for personal time spent reading the Bible, even if it’s just several verses a day. Women need to know that God speaks to them personally, not just through their spouse, pastor, Bible study leader, radio preacher, or favorite author. I am sometimes discouraged by how many women depend on study Bibles and Bible study guides to interpret Scripture for them, instead of relying on the Holy Spirit to illumine their reading of God’s Word. Instead of providing more study tools, challenge them to use less.

Prayer: Many women struggle to carve large chunks of time out of a schedule that is often dictated by others’ needs: work, household, children, spouse, friends, etc. Yet all Christ-followers need to quiet their soul on a regular basis, so they can hear God speak and can talk to him, as well. Therefore, encourage the women you know to take advantage of even the smallest quiet moments. That may be in the stillness of the morning or evening, in the car at a red light, or even (perhaps often!) in the bathroom.

As with diet and exercise, in your spiritual life you can’t rely on the big event or program to take the place of regular discipline. As leaders, we can help women recognize and maximize their own unique situation to foster lasting life change.

—Angie Ward is a leader of leaders with more than 15 years of leadership development experience in a variety of

ministry settings. She is the founder of Forward Leadership and is a contributing editor for Leadership Journal.

GiftedforLeadership.com, June 19, 2007



ARTICLETailor-Making Spiritual Formation

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LEADER’S GUIDE - STUDY 4Rethinking Women’s

MinistryMany women feel they don’t fit into today’s women’s ministry

programs.How can we help them belong?

The daughter of a pastor, Amy Simpson grew up in the church. She became a Christian at a young age, attended a Christian university, and now works for a Christian company. Her family and most of her close friends profess Christ. Amy is steeped in Christianity and swaddled in Christian culture. And yet, at women’s events in church she’s felt like an outsider, that she doesn’t fit anywhere. Why? Because she doesn’t enjoy crafts, isn’t a stay-at-home mom, and simply doesn’t square with the assumptions churches have about Christian women. So when a ministry is set up on those stereotypes, she doesn’t fit in.

So what’s a woman like Amy to do when she feels like she doesn’t belong in her own church? What about women who are new Christians, or searching for God, who don’t find a fit in women’s ministries in the church? How would God have us respond to this need, this longing for his daughters to feel welcome, to belong, and to be ministered to? We’ll explore these issues in this study.

Lesson #4

Scripture:Joshua 2:1–21; Ruth 1:1–18; Psalm 139; Mark 14:3–9; Luke 10:38–42; John 4:7–26

Based on:”Why I Don’t Do Women’s Ministry,” by Amy Simpson, GIFTEDFORLEADERSHIP.COM

LEADER’S GUIDERethinking Women’s Ministry

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Note to leader: At the beginning of the meeting, provide each person with the article “Why I Don’t Do Women’s Ministry” from GIFTEDFORLEADERSHIP.COM (included at the end of this study).

Christian blogs buzz with frustration from Christian women who feel lost, alienated, and alone in the midst of their own churches—specifically in their churches’ women’s ministries. Amy Simpson wrote in her GiftedForLeadership.com post, “I used to think I just didn’t fit. Somehow I wasn’t like most women, and this probably had something to do with my spiritual life, so I should try harder to fit in.”

Simpson also writes, “I don’t mean to undermine the importance of women’s ministry, or trivialize the effective ministry that’s happening in many churches.” So, while understanding that these ministries do tremendous things for the women involved, many women long for churches to go further, to see beyond traditional roles and stereotypes of Christian women. Women—and many churches—are exploring how we can best minister to women.


[Q] In what ways have you felt out of place in the women’s ministries at your church?

[Q] How have those ministries worked for you?

[Q] Do you think non-Christian women would feel put-off by the stereotypes of what a “good Christian woman” should look like according to your church? Why or why not?

[Q] What do you think most Christian women are looking for in a women’s ministry?

PART 2Discover the Eternal PrinciplesTeaching point one: God creates individuals, not stereotypes.

Read Psalm 139, paying special attention to verses 13 through 16.

In these verses, David writes about how God created him and ordained his life. This beautiful passage doesn’t imply a stamping out of a random person, but a loving, purposeful crafting of a man with a specific destiny in God’s plan.

And yet, in an attempt to streamline ministry, we often forget that God knits us within our mothers’ wombs—each with a specific destiny. When we rush to lump


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people together and make all kinds of assumptions, we leave many women out in the cold instead of drawing them into the warm embrace of community.

Simpson writes: “In my experience, the people who plan [women’s ministry] events make all kinds of assumptions about who I am as a woman. For starters, most assume I’m a full-time stay-at-home mom (and the best time of day for a meeting is, of course, 10:00 in the morning). They also seem to believe I enjoy making refrigerator magnets, spend most of my time thinking about fashion and chocolate, and can think of nothing better than getting away from my husband and kids (even though I’ve been at work all day) … This isn’t me—at all.”

[Q] What might it mean to women’s ministry that each of us is “fearfully and wonderfully made,” as Psalm 139:14 says?

[Q] What’s been your best experience with a ministry that really fit you, that squared with the way you were wonderfully made?

[Q] How might many women’s ministries ignore the individuality of women?

[Q] Do you fit well into women’s ministry right now at your church? Why or why not?

[Q] How much time do you spend thinking about your specific destiny? What do you think yours is?

[Q] What obligation, if any, do you think churches have to consider individual destinies when forming new or reshaping old ministries?

Teaching point two: Jesus wants us to offer what we’ve got.Read Luke 10:38–42.

Mary does the unthinkable: She brazenly steps out of her place and comes crashing through a stereotype. All in the name of Jesus. In her defiance of expectations and the subsequent critique from her sister and defense from Jesus, she ends up getting ministered to by her Lord—and ultimately ministering to thousands of years of believers.

Read Mark 14:3–9.

Mary of Bethany does it again. In this passage, she famously (as Jesus prophesied it would be!) broke her alabaster jar and lavishly anointed Jesus with her expensive perfume. While others attacked her wastefulness, Jesus praised her gift and highlighted its importance and eternal significance.

The trouble with Mary is that she didn’t fit—she had been given attributes and longings that didn’t square with the cultural expectations of a woman. But Jesus welcomed, rejoiced in, and defended who she was. He encouraged her right to be different, along with the purpose for her difference. He knew why she was the woman she was, and was glad when she offered that to him.




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[Q] Authenticity is a buzzword in churches today. How does Jesus’ response to Mary’s sitting at his feet and her expensive gift shed light on how Jesus feels about women being real?

[Q] Read about Rahab in Joshua 2:1–21 and Ruth in Ruth 1:1–18. What cultural rules did they break in God’s name, and why?

[Q] What did God honor in all of these women (Mary, Rahab, and Ruth)?

What might these stories show us about what God desires for women?

[Q] What do you have to offer that makes you feel left out of certain ministries in your church? What might be the reasons? What are some other ways to offer what you’ve got?

Teaching point three: Jesus’ ministry was “out of the box.”While Jesus certainly did his fair share of preaching to the masses, he ministered most memorably and movingly through his out-of-the box methods—which often meant meeting the needs of individual people. We see this in his miraculous healings and specific teachings. Read John 4:7–26.

In this passage, Jesus does what no self-respecting Jew would’ve done—he speaks to a “lowly” Samaritan. And a woman no less! But here he shows us not only a powerful image of ministering to women, but that he cares about reaching women who don’t fit.

[Q] In John 4:20, the woman says, “Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.” In what ways can you relate to her confusion and concern about the “right” ways to worship or be ministered to?

[Q] Can you think of women in your community who may feel left out of your church because their heritage or their tradition of worship doesn’t coincide with yours? Is there a way to bridge that gap?

[Q] Jesus responds to the woman’s concern in verses 21–24. He says (in part), “A time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.” How well does your church worship in spirit and truth?

How well do you personally worship in spirit and truth?

[Q] What might a women’s ministry built on “spirit and truth” look like?

What might it look like to a woman with a very different personality and gift set?

[Q] What do Jesus’ actions in reaching out to this “misfit” tell you about how we should handle women in our congregation who might not fit traditional molds? Who are some groups or individuals to whom Jesus might be calling you to reach out right now?




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Optional Activity: Using a whiteboard or poster board, list all the ways God has used unusual opportunities or events to minister to you. Suggest possible ministry opportunities based on those suggestions.


Clearly, trying to minister to all women in an effective, personal manner is no simple task. Churches often lack the staff, the volunteers, and the funding to make every woman feel included in ministry, even if they wanted to. But “difficult” isn’t an excuse to stop trying, especially when a relationship with Jesus Christ is on the line!

Simpson concludes her article with a list of ideas for reaching out to a more diverse group of women. She suggests:

Recognize that not all women are the same Respect women’s intellectual abilities Recognize that women aren’t just wives and mothers Make it safe to talk about real life Affirm real women Challenge women

Each of her suggestions can be used either to loosen the belt of women’s ministry to make it fit more women or to launch new ministries altogether. The heart of her suggestions—which actually require little more money, staff, or volunteers—is aligned with Jesus’ heart toward women, as he asks that we be real, that we offer what we’ve got, and that we reach out to those who need a home in him.

[Q] Consider the women’s ministries your church currently offers. What might Simpson’s suggestions bring to those ministries?

[Q] What can you do today or this week to make a difference in women’s ministries?

[Q] What steps would be necessary to make Simpson’s suggestions a reality in women’s ministry at your church?

—Caryn Rivadeneira is managing editor of GiftedForLeadership.com and author of a book on mothers and their identities due out in March

2009. She lives in the western suburbs of Chicago with her husband, three kids, and one big dog.




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Additional Resources ChristianBibleStudies.com

—Today’s Christian Woman —Women Who Persevered —Seeing Ourselves as God Does —Debunking the Myth of the Ideal Mom

www.buildingchurchleaders.com —Innovative Ministries—Women and the Church

www.todayschristianwomanstore.com —Get out of a Spiritual Rut

Women’s Ministry in the 21st Century: The Encyclopedia of Practical Ideas (Group Publishing, 2004; ISBN 978-0764427008)

Women Mentoring Women: Ways to Start, Maintain, & Expand a Biblical Women's Ministry, Vicki Kraft, Gwynne Johnson (Moody Publishers, 2003; ISBN 978-0802448897)

Group's Emergency Response Handbook for Women's Ministry , (Group Publishing, 2007; ISBN 978-0764436536)






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http://store.todayschristianwomanstore.com/getoutofspru.html

http://www.todayschristianwomanstore.com/

http://www.buildingchurchleaders.com/

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ARTICLE

Why I Don’t Do Women’s MinistryBy Amy Simpson, for the study “Rethinking Women’s Ministry.”

I really hate those “home parties.” You know, the ones where you go to someone’s house and hear about the latest gadgets, skin care products, or overpriced home décor. The hostess serves brownies and everyone talks about their kids and how busy they are. Then the sales representative stands up and gives a hyper-peppy presentation punctuated by polite gasps of delight from the women packed in the living room.

A few of the women get really giddy about the whole thing and start ordering everything that catches their eye. Some of them find just a couple of things they like, grab another brownie, and head home. I twitch uncomfortably and look for the least expensive item on the order form. I feel obligated to order something. After all, the hostess cleaned her house and made snacks for us, and if I don’t order she might not get her free “hostess gift.”

I learned my lesson when I once tried to leave one of those parties without buying anything. I had spent the entire party looking at my watch and thinking about how if I wanted to, I could make those doodads myself with some cardboard, fabric scraps, and magic markers. But I didn’t want to. And I certainly couldn’t imagine paying for any of them. But as I tried to leave, the sales representative cornered me with a desperate smile and asked me what I was going to buy. Everyone else stared at me as if I had been caught shoplifting. I did manage to escape without lightening my checkbook, but not entirely unscathed.

I don’t go to those parties anymore. I’ve conquered my sense of obligation to attend. I don’t even try to come up with excuses anymore. I just picture myself at the party, looking at my watch, wondering why in the world I agreed to spend my evening there. I imagine the feeling of watching the other women and wondering why I seem to be the only one



ARTICLEWhy I Don’t Do Women’s Ministry

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who isn’t enjoying myself tremendously. And I politely decline without bothering to explain.

I must confess I’ve had the same experience with women’s ministry events. It’s been a long time since I attended a women’s Bible study, luncheon (why don’t they just call them lunch?), or anything else just for Christian women. I’ve spent enough of my life feeling bored, self-conscious, and out of place (think junior high gym class).

In my experience, the people who plan these events make all kinds of assumptions about who I am as a woman. For starters, most assume I’m a full-time stay-at-home mom (and the best time of day for a meeting is, of course, 10:00 in the morning). They also seem to believe I enjoy making refrigerator magnets, spend most of my time thinking about fashion and chocolate, and can think of nothing better than getting away from my husband and kids (even though I’ve been at work all day) and hanging out with my “girlfriends.” This isn’t me—at all.

I used to think I just didn’t fit. Somehow I wasn’t like most women, and this probably had something to do with my spiritual life, so I should try harder to fit in. Now I realize that’s not true. In fact, the funny thing is, I don’t really think I’m a misfit. Most women I know feel the same way I do about women’s ministry programming. I know that women’s ministries do connect with many women and provide important opportunities for growth. But they seem to be focused on serving a relatively small segment of the population. So I wonder: Why do so many of our women’s ministry efforts treat women as if they all have the same lifestyle, schedule, goals, affinity for June Cleaver, and penchant for pink roses? And why are we expected to call ourselves “girlfriends”?

I don’t mean to undermine the importance of women’s ministry, or trivialize the effective ministry that’s happening in many churches. But by and large, I believe our churches are running shallow, one-dimensional programs that miss important opportunities to minister to many women.

And I suspect I’m not the only one who has felt misunderstood and discouraged by the “ministry” we have experienced. We can be and do so much more. Why don’t we challenge each other? Why don’t we take ourselves seriously? Why do we alienate so many women with our ministries?

I have some ideas for how we might make women’s ministries more effective.

1. Recognize that women are not all the same. Those who are called to women’s ministry have their work cut out for them. It’s not an




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easy job to minister to such a diverse group of people. But anyone who wants to appeal to women in general must recognize that women come in many different shapes and must create programs that appeal to more than one type. This is the same for any demographic group in the church, but perhaps most of all for women. Our lifestyles, circumstances, and preferences are so diverse. Not everything has to appeal to every woman—but if nothing about a church’s women’s ministry program appeals to a particular woman, she’ll quickly get the message that she’s not okay and not wanted.

2. Respect women’s intellectual abilities. Too often, we seem to buy into the world’s lie that we are purely emotional beings, at the whim of fantasy and hormones, and not smart enough to go deep. God created us to feel and to think. Our souls hunger not only for the presence of God, but also for knowledge of his truth. Ministries that focus only on women’s emotional needs or that stay on a shallow level are doing a disservice to their women and to the larger body of Christ. And they’re failing to reach many women, who will never be engaged by a ministry that does not challenge their intellect.

3. Recognize that women are not just wives and mothers. Women aren’t required to fill these roles in order to see God’s purpose for their lives. I’m both a wife and a mother, but if I were neither, God’s calling on my life would not go away. It’s pointless to ignore the importance of these roles in the lives of many women, but we must acknowledge that women are unmarried, childless, divorced, single, struggling with infertility, focused on their careers, and everything in between. They’re all important to God, and none of them should have the impression that God’s plans don’t include them.

4. Make it safe to talk about real life. In my experience, most topics are off the “approved” list at women’s ministry gatherings. This is a systemic problem in many churches, so I don’t think it’s fair to blame it on women’s ministries. But if a women’s ministry program were able to make it safe to talk honestly and biblically about our experiences with spiritual doubt, depression, injustice, loneliness, temptation, abuse, regrets, sex, career success, insecurities, need to achieve, perfectionism, financial worries, sexual harassment, boredom, anxiety, exhaustion, great books, compulsive eating, addictions, and things that keep us awake at night, that ministry would produce some powerful life change.

5. Affirm real women. We should not walk out feeling worse about our potential in Christ than we did when we walked in. Many women feel torn down and devalued by the church—simply because they are women




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or they are the sort of women God has made them to be. And while some have commented that I seem to be whining about my own experiences, or feeling sorry for myself, I’m actually not too worried about myself. My commitment to Christ and to the church is intact and independent of what I experience in women’s ministry. I am truly concerned about those women who have written off the church, and by association Christ, because of what they have heard the church telling them about their own worth. Any women’s ministry program must make everyday women feel like they belong.

6. Challenge women. Besides the nursery, women’s ministry may be the only place where many of our ministries seem designed only to make us comfortable.

I realize these ideas aren’t very specific. So here are some ideas: Consider a sports ministry for women. Start a book club. Plan activities that don’t require mothers to leave their children

behind. Moms who work outside their homes aren’t looking for more time away from their kids, so they might be more likely to attend events that welcome their children.

Help women to form intentional mentoring relationships with each other.

Hold a lunchtime Bible study for women who work outside their homes, in a location convenient to their work.

Ask women to share their stories, or to teach each other about something they’re passionate about.

Get women together to do some powerful service in your community—and welcome families to participate as well.

Challenge women to run a business together and use the proceeds to help other women get on their feet.

—Amy Simpson is Executive Director of the Leadership Media Group at Christianity Today International.

GiftedforLeadership.com, August 28, 2007



LEADER’S GUIDE - STUDY 5Loving Those You Lead

If we are in leadership, we will eventually have to learn to love the unlovely.

“Play nice,” we tell our children when they spend time with others. We know it’s inevitable: someone will get hurt. Fast forward a few decades and we find nothing much has changed. As long as we work with people, we can get hurt; but we can determine whether we will react or respond to the offender.

Lesson #5

Scripture:Mark 6:1–5; Luke 9:57–62; 14:1–13; 18:35–42; 1 Corinthians 13:4–7; Ephesians 4:29–32

Based on:“Loving Those We Lead,” by Sherryl Stone, GIFTEDFORLEADERSHIP.COM

LEADER’S GUIDELoving Those You Lead

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Note to leader: At the beginning of the class, provide each person with the article “Loving Those We Lead” from GiftedforLeadership.com (included at the end of this study).

Author and speaker Ron Hutchcraft told the story of a man who reacted oddly when a helicopter flew overhead. The man’s daughter, Megan, said, “My father suddenly hit the deck. In other words, he just instinctively fell to the ground. Now you know you could look at that reaction and say, ‘is he a little strange, or what?’ No, he isn’t strange. He’s a Vietnam veteran.” When her father heard a chopper, it triggered something inside, reminding him of battles in his past.

He’s not alone. Most people’s actions and attitudes are a result of their experiences. Hutchcraft says, “When you see the need behind someone’s deed, it changes the way you treat that person.” Realizing this can give us insight in dealing with others. Often we react to a person’s words or behavior, not realizing why they triggered something in us.

When a blind man called out to Jesus for healing, it aggravated the people around him. But Jesus was more interested in the man’s needs. Read Luke 18:35–42.


[Q] Share a time when you reacted to someone because of your own experience, rather than because of something they did. For example, you may yell at your child because you have a headache, rather than because he did something wrong.

[Q] Give an example of a time you understood that someone was reacting negatively to you because of something that was happening in their life, rather than because of your behavior. For example, your spouse blows up over the house being a mess because he feels that everything is out of control at work.

[Q] Share a time someone overlooked one of your offenses. How did this change your relationship with the person?

[Q] If you know someone unable or unwilling to forgive, what are the characteristics of his or her life?




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PART 2Discover the Eternal PrinciplesTeaching point one: Loving others means we might get hurt.

Sherryl Stone states in her article, “When hurt and disappointment inevitably come, it’s tempting to throw in the towel and quit, or at least to withdraw from the ones we are called to shepherd. Toxic cynicism can easily seep into our souls.”

Escaping hurt is unrealistic. Refusing to deal with it turns it into a poison that will surface at the least opportune times. Learning how to deal with hurtful people is invaluable. We must realize that the way we interact with others is as much a lesson for those we lead as any material we can prepare.

In groups, the leader becomes an authority figure. Wounded people often project strong negative feelings toward those in authority, often unaware of their reasons. Responding lovingly to such people requires patience and wisdom.

Sherryl Stone suggests, “Ask the Lord to help us see people with his eyes and love them with his heart. Let Christ’s love fill and flow through you as you cooperate with God in loving them.” When we do this, we will have the opportunity to see them the way God does.

It is imperative to remember that we, too, have hurt others with our words and actions. We can be unaware of offending others. Acknowledging we are all capable of hurting others levels the ground we stand on. Effectively leading others is most often done by coming alongside of them. Remembering our own shortcomings helps us extend mercy instead of judgment. As we continue to grow in our relationship with God, we develop humility and gentleness like our Savior’s.

Jesus continually looked to his Father, who gave him grace and forgiveness for each person he encountered. Only God knows each person’s heart, and he alone can guide and direct our dealings with others. When those closest to Jesus questioned his actions, he continued ministering to them, refusing to abandon his mission. Read Mark 6:1–5.

[Q] How did Jesus put into perspective those who didn’t accept his ministry? What can we learn from that?

[Q] Do you think it’s possible to love another person without getting hurt? Why or why not?

What assumptions can be made if we never get hurt in our relationships?

[Q] Have you ever found yourself in a situation of leadership where you were unable to love someone in your group? How did you resolve this?

[Q] Is there ever a time when loving someone might mean confronting them? Explain.




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Teaching point two: Loving others means forgiving them.There are times when we are called to simply bear offenses. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4–7.

When we lead others, God works in us, giving us needed patience. He gives us kindness so we can respond to others instead of reacting. Often, when someone hurts us, we struggle because we cannot imagine saying or doing the same thing to another person. The truth is, all of us are capable of hurting others. There is not one of us who doesn’t need forgiveness for the wrongs we have committed.

By extending mercy to those who hurt us, we build others up instead of tearing them down. Like Jesus, we can learn how to look to their needs. If we keep short accounts and forgive others, we can prevent seeds of bitterness from taking root inside of us. Because of God’s forgiveness, we are commanded to forgive those who hurt us.

As long as we deal with our feelings, we can take them to the Lord instead of talking to others. Talking to anyone else about it can be slanderous. At times, we will go to the offender in love, speaking words that will lift them up. Other times God may require we work it out with him alone.

Forgiveness is not an easy thing. Sometimes we try to convince ourselves we have forgiven an offense, while it still has a grip on us. A telltale sign of unforgiveness may be our inability to stop talking about the offense, with others or even to ourselves. When we continually talk about it with others, we are stepping on our offender’s character and keeping our anger alive. We would do well to ask ourselves: Can I pray for the person who wronged me? Praying for our offender is a way to keep our hearts softer. Besides, only God can change a person.

Forgiveness involves more than lip service. It is a heart attitude that willingly chooses to not charge the person with the offense. Dwelling on the hurt prolongs dealing with the situation. Over and over we ruminate, feeling the pain afresh each time. God is the only one who can enable us to forgive another person. We do not possess the ability in ourselves.

Read Ephesians 4:29–32.

[Q] Share a time you struggled with forgiving someone. How long did the process take you? What were the challenges involved?

[Q] Is there ever a time we are not required to forgive someone? What is the difference between forgiveness and trust?

Leader’s Note: We are always required to forgive, but trust must be earned.

[Q] Share a time someone refused to forgive you. Were you able to rectify the situation? Were you able to redeem the relationship?

[Q] Can you think of an example in Scripture of a relationship being broken? What were the results?




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[Q] Do you think it’s more difficult or easier when the person who has wronged us is a Christian?

What about a family member?

Teaching point three: Move toward those who hurt you.

Sherryl Stone says, “Despite feeling hurt and disappointed, Jesus didn’t withdraw from his disciples. He looked past their failings and approached them with kindness and respect.” We need to do the same. Instead of abandoning someone, we need to hang in there with him or her. That doesn’t mean that we don’t deal with problems.

At times we need to confront others. Jesus always spoke the truth in love and can help us to do the same. When someone cares about another person enough to confront them, the results yield more love and respect between the two people. God can give us the words, the right timing, and the insight when confrontation is necessary. The person being confronted will not feel loved at first, but if they truly want God to change them, they will eventually appreciate you for it. Often people avoid confrontation; this prevents us from moving onward in the relationship. Intimacy requires conflict somewhere along the line.

[Q] Read Luke 9:57–62. How did Jesus confront these men, and why? What did he want them to understand?

[Q] Read Luke 14:1–13. How did Jesus confront the Pharisees, and why? Who was he protecting in this confrontation?

[Q] What determines if an offense should be overlooked, forgiven, or is something that you need to confront the person on?

Optional Activity: Give examples of how you might lovingly confront the following people:

Claire continually teases Margaret, who is shy and quiet. You’ve noticed that Margaret is becoming even quieter.

Emily disapproves of anyone who goes to a movie. Whenever anyone refers to any movie, she makes fun of them for allowing such trash into their lives.

Paula complains constantly about her family, her church, and her friends.


People hurt people. We need to be aware of this, and when it happens we need to be willing to forgive those who hurt us. A healthy group also requires that we set up boundaries, which create a safe environment for the people in our group. Jesus always ministered to people individually. God knows each person’s heart, and he can grant us the guidance we need as we work with each person.




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Sherryl Stone said, “As servant leaders we need to move toward offenders to give them what they need.” In that way we will be like our Savior. Jesus always looked at what each person needed, and didn’t back away. When people hurt us, they need us more than ever. We need to move toward them in love. Can we be there for them?

Action Point: Ask your group members to take an audit of how they’re doing in the following areas:

Are you aware of a hurting person in your sphere of influence who is hurting others? If so, how can you gently confront that person?

Do you have anyone in your life who has offended you and needs to be forgiven?

Who do you need to move toward and love in spite of their offenses?

—Anne Peterson is a published poet, speaker, and regular contributor to ChristianBibleStudies.com.


-Leading Others-Getting Along with People-Keys to Biblical Relationships-Psalms: Managing Our Emotions

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life, Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend (Zondervan, 1992; ISBN 0310585902)

Captured by God: No One Is Beyond the Reach of a Loving God , David Jeremiah (Thomas Nelson, 2006; ISBN 1591453895)

Leading With a Limp: Turning Your Struggles into Strengths , Dan B. Allender (Random House Inc. 2006; ISBN 1578569508)

Love in Hard Places , D. A. Carson (Crossway Books & Bibles, 2002; ISBN 1581344252)

Making it Right When You Feel Wronged: Getting Past Unresolved Hurts , Jeff Wickwire (Baker, 2003; ISBN 0800793404)

When People Throw Stones: A Leader’s Guide to Fielding Personal Criticism, Blaine Allen (Kregel Publications, 2005; ISBN 0825420148)

With Healing Wings: Prayers For People Who Hurt and Those Who Care , Marsh Maurer (Chalice Press, 2006; ISBN 0827242522)












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ARTICLE

Loving Those We LeadBy Sherryl Stone, for the study “Loving Those You Lead.”

If you stay in ministry long enough, you will get hurt. In our small groups and church serving teams, we can easily become close friends with those we lead. When hurt and disappointment inevitably come, it’s tempting to throw in the towel and quit, or at least to withdraw from the ones we are called to shepherd. Toxic cynicism can easily seep into our souls.

After one heart-crushing experience I was faced with a dilemma: As their leader, how was I to deal emotionally with hurtful people?

I searched through and earnestly prayed for guidance. John 13 caught my attention.

Although Jesus knew that Judas would betray him, he still included him in the Last Supper. Jesus chose to love him as he did the other disciples. John 13:1 says that Jesus was intent on showing the disciples “the full extent of his love.” Verse 2 gives us a clue as to how Jesus was able to shift his mind and heart to be able to do such a thing. It states that Jesus knew who he was, where he had come from and where he was going. As he focused on fully completing his Father’s will, Jesus did something outlandish and unforgettable. He knelt down with a water basin and a towel, assumed the role of a house servant, and washed and dried the dusty feet of his disciples.

I wonder what Jesus said to each of the disciples as he looked up into their faces. Some of his words are recorded in Scripture; others are not. Regardless of the words he chose for each of his intimate friends, an atmosphere of love, kindness, and respect lingered during that Passover meal. Though Jesus knew that in a few short hours each of those men would betray him, he still chose to move toward them to meet their needs. Each disciple was related to, not according to their future failures, but according to Calvary’s incredible grace and forgiveness.



ARTICLELoving Those We Lead

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Later Jesus commanded his disciples to love others in the same manner he had shown love to them. “As I have loved you, so you MUST love one another” (emphasis mine).

So the question really is: How do we begin to love hurtful people with godly love? Here are some suggestions:

1. Pray for those who hurt us. Ask the Lord to help us see people with his eyes and love them with his heart. Let Christ’s love fill and flow through us (Romans 5:5b) as we cooperate with God in loving them. Commit to obediently love them as Christ has loved us.

2. Expect others to let us down. Choose to minister to them anyway. Commit to love them as Christ has loved us.

3. As a servant leader, move toward offenders to give them what they need. Despite feeling hurt and disappointed, Jesus didn’t withdraw from his disciples. He looked past their failings and approached them with kindness and respect.

It takes courage, faith, and the power of the Holy Spirit to truly embrace the love of God for ourselves and others. Because God paid such a high price for our forgiveness, we cannot remain spiritually vibrant and yet refuse to forgive. Bitterness is not the answer.

The Cross gives us both an example and the power to forgive the hurts leadership inevitably brings.

—Sherryl is actively involved in ministry at Ginger Creek Community Church in Aurora, Illinois, where her husband

is senior pastor. She holds a bachelor's degree in Bible from Mississippi College and a master's degree in religious

education from Southwestern Seminary in Texas.

GiftedforLeadership.com, June 1, 2007



LEADER’S GUIDE - STUDY 6Finding Strength

Women in leadership build effectiveness by depending on the strength of others.

We’ve seen it happen and hoped we wouldn’t become a statistic. Burnout and overwhelming stress zap the finest among us. We lose key women. Debilitating discouragement implodes within a Christian sister, causing her to doubt her calling, leave the ministry, and even question her faith.

How can we help our sisters retain a healthy balance? How can we support one another and strengthen our call? How can we avoid becoming another burnout statistic?

We’ll explore these questions in this study, and hopefully gain insights to help each other.

Lesson #6

Scripture:Exodus 17:8–13; Psalm 68:9–19; Isaiah 41:8–14; 49:1–7; John 15:9–17

Based on:“Who’s Holding Up Your Arms?” by Halee Gray Scott, GIFTEDFORLEADERSHIP.COM, July 13, 2007

LEADER’S GUIDEFinding Strength

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Note to leader: Before meeting, provide each person with the article “Who’s Holding Up Your Arms?” from GIFTEDFORLEADERSHIP.COM (included at the end of this study).

We may have grown up nurturing younger siblings or caring for dysfunctional parents. Or maybe we easily and naturally took on the role of captain on our basketball team, or senior editor of our college newspaper. However it happened, somewhere between pimples and osteoporosis, we received our call to leadership. As leaders, we define ourselves by our purpose and find great joy in serving others. But whether we lead in the corporate world, in a ministry setting, or in our communities; as women leaders, we often struggle to balance marriage, motherhood, and ministry. Never seeking a pedestal, we find ourselves placed on one, and the expectations begin to tarnish our armor. We revel in what God is teaching us, but the demands of sharing our wisdom and mentoring others soon leave us feeling lonely—even abandoned by the God we love.

How can we possibly juggle the demands of so many needy people without becoming needy ourselves?


[Q] Can you identify with the description in the above paragraph? Are you afraid of becoming a victim of excessive demands? Why or why not?

[Q] What are your greatest personal needs? Do you feel you can share these needs with someone? Why or why not?

[Q] If you were mentoring a young woman headed for ministry, what advice would you give her? Are you willing to take your own advice?

PART 2Discover the Eternal PrinciplesTeaching point one: It’s not good to be alone.

Although God spoke this when he created Eve as a helper for Adam, this truth also applies to our situation. It is not good to isolate ourselves from the help of others. As a female Moses, you may have struggled to fight a ministry battle, then suddenly realized you needed help. But if you wear a martyr medal or just find it easier to do it all yourself, you may be in danger of losing your effectiveness or even your health.




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Throughout the Bible, women spiritually nurtured each other. Examples include Ruth and Naomi, Mary and Elizabeth, and Lydia and her women friends. Naomi’s friends reminded her of God’s faithfulness and held her accountable for her complaining spirit. Elizabeth encouraged the pregnant Mary and possibly nursed her through those beginning months of morning sickness. Lydia gathered women into her house to pray and provided a home church. Later, she invited the apostle Paul to conduct a worship service in her home. These were strong women, but women who recognized the value of receiving strength from others.

In her book Connecting Women: A Relational Guide for Leaders in Women’s Ministry,2 Linda Lesniewski writes, “Even though women might individually experience Christ’s healing power and merciful grace in their lives, they often discover the strength of unity in serving him together.”

Read Isaiah 41:8–14.

[Q] What encouragement do you find in this passage?

[Q] What opportunities do the women of your church have to strengthen and support each other?

What are some ways your church can improve in these areas?

[Q] What do you and Lydia, Elizabeth, Naomi, or Ruth have in common?

[Q] Who are some of the godly older women in your congregation? How do they add strength to your ministries?

[Q] How has God strengthened you through the ministry of other women? How has God himself helped you?

Teaching point two: Pour out your heart.Psalm 62:8 reminds us to “Trust in him at all times … pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”

As leaders in ministry, we often feel trapped within our giftedness. One female pastor of a Chinese church stated that she often feels she cannot share the burdens of ministry because it sounds like complaining. “Even though pastoring is the greatest thing I could be doing, it does wear me down. But the trick is finding the right kind of support—not someone to add to the burden, but someone who can actually lift it.”

In her article “Who’s Holding Up Your Arms?” Halee Gray Scott writes, “Pray that God will surround you with godly people and reveal to you those people he has placed in your life to support you. Pray that God will strengthen and bless these relationships.”

Some leaders find godly support from their husbands; others lean on ministers from another church. An administrative assistant or relative might be supportive. God might impress on your mind the name of a woman in your congregation

2 Baker Publishing Group, 2007.




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whom you barely know—someone who might develop into your Lydia or Elizabeth. This might be a woman who will lead you to effective ministry or nurture you through your own spiritual nausea. Take the situation to God, and as he called you, he will also call someone to hold you up.

Read Psalm 68:9–19.

[Q] How does God refresh you in your weariness? How does God daily bear your burdens?

[Q] When was the last time you paused to consider your spiritual walk? When was the last time you poured out your heart to God?

[Q] What kind of woman do you need to come alongside you and help lift your burdens?

[Q] Which woman in your church do you think could be an encouragement to you?

[Q] What is the balance between keeping ministry burdens to yourself and sharing them with others?

Teaching point three: Accept the assistance of others.Scott again reminds us, “One of the common temptations of leadership is succumbing to the pressure of having to have it all together. We may feel we need to be strong for others or find it difficult to trust others with our insecurities and doubts.”

Trusting others may seem like a stretch of our pride. Maybe we’ve been burned in the past, and we fear a recurrence of betrayal. We may have suffered spiritual abuse because we dared to be honest. We fear becoming vulnerable again.

The writer of Hebrews reminds us to “Strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees” (Heb. 12:12). Sometimes we need to admit that we are the feeble ones. We need to find strength from others, even if admitting the truth involves risk.

Pastor Skip Suess says, “Healthy pastors are a necessity for healthy churches. They begin ministry with great zeal and energy, then over time they begin to slowly compromise on personal boundaries—not knowing when to say ‘this is enough,’ not taking sufficient time off, not recognizing the need for Sabbath rest, not developing a life outside of ministry.” 3

[Q] What are some personal boundaries you keep? What boundaries have you compromised?

[Q] What kind of life do you have outside of ministry?

[Q] What do you do for Sabbath rest?

Read Isaiah 49:1–7.

3 The Christian Leader (Oct, 2007).




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[Q] God did not call you to serve him in an exhausted state. Do you ever feel as if you have spent your strength in vain? Explain.

A minister in Kansas fell and broke her kneecap. She was forced to depend on others for meals and transportation, to limit her ministry, and to cease many activities. Her supervisor wisely spoke to her discouraged heart, “This is hard for you, because you have always served others. But remember the joy you feel in serving; now let others have that joy in serving you.”

Teaching point four: Balance is the key.Although we might recognize the importance of receiving help from others, women in ministry still must exercise wisdom and caution. As we learn to be vulnerable to a select few, we also know we cannot tell our deepest needs to all. We need trustworthy friends. Patience is needed to cultivate such trusting relationships. Each individual minister must assess her own ministry needs and define her own balance.

Robin Chaddock, a certified life coach, stresses intentional strategies for moderation in all things. She maintains we should take charge of our behaviors, emotions, and environment to bring our realities within healthy boundaries.

One way we find balance is to be absolutely certain of our calling. A woman pastor expressed it this way, “There are many things we may desire to do for Christ, but maybe only a few things we are actually called to do.”

Read John 15:9–17 and consider again your individual calling.

Another way to find balance is to know how God has gifted you. When we understand our gifts, we are better able to define who we are. Our gifts explain how we might serve for the common good of others and help us achieve unity in the body of Christ.

Knowing our gifts helps us see the gaps that can be filled by other gifted women. An intercessor prays with us and respects confidentiality. An administrator helps us organize. An encourager keeps our hearts from despair.

Optional Activity:

Read through Bible passages on the various gifts (Romans 12:6–8; 1 Corinthians 12:8–10, 28–31; Ephesians 4:11–13) and make a list of your gifts. Make another list of the gifts you have not been given. Are there women in your congregation who can fill those gaps?

Share your lists with your group. Some of the women in your group may be able to help you in your areas of need. Ask your group to help you be accountable to women who can strengthen you.

[Q] With all your gifts, how healthy is your balance? What does a balanced day look like to you?

[Q] On busy ministry days, who can you ask to help you? Have you considered asking women to help you clean, garden, or cook?




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[Q] How do your gifts fit in with your call? Are you trying to utilize some gifts you really do not have?

[Q] Are you certain of your calling and what it involves? Have the stress and burdens of ministry led you to doubt your call? Explain.


Read Exodus 17:8–13

Aaron and Hur stepped in to help when they saw that Moses was fatigued. Because they helped strengthen Moses, he was able to keep his hands raised and the battle was won.

We need not fight every battle in our own strength. To keep from spiritual, emotional, or physical fatigue, we, too, can depend on the saints God has placed around us. We can learn to relax and refresh ourselves with the incredible women in our communities of faith.

Who will be your Aaron and your Hur? Has God brought any names to your mind?

Now that we have discussed this topic, what advice would you give a young woman who is called to ministry?

Action points:

Make an action plan for utilizing the strengths and gifts of other women. Some ideas might include:

Send out a memo to the women’s Bible studies and small groups, listing areas of help you need.

Meet once a week with your staff to pray specifically for women who can strengthen the effectiveness of your ministry.

Take a mini-vacation to refresh yourself and to consider your need for ministry help. Consider again your call and rededicate yourself to Almighty God. Determine that you will keep a healthier balance.

Make your own devotional time a priority; turn off your cell phone while you talk with God.

Be assertive about your personal, emotional, and spiritual needs. Exercise, maintain healthy nutrition, and have routine and preventive

check-ups. Once every quarter, take your Aaron and your Hur out for a Day of Joy. Do

something fun and do not discuss ministry.

Consider this anonymous poem:

“When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you walk it by yourself,The women in your life will be on the valley’s rim,




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Cheering you on, praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on your behalfAnd waiting with open arms at the valley’s end.Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk beside you—or come in and carry you out.”

—Rebecca Jay writes from Kansas and has learned through personal experience to accept the help of others.


-Today’s Christian Woman Course-Use Your Spiritual Gifts-Successful Relationships Course-Spiritual Formation-Our Powerful Helper—Knowing God Course-Keys to Biblical Relationships-Jill Briscoe on Christian Foundations

Connecting Women: A Relational Guide for Leaders in Women’s Ministry , Linda Lesniewski (Baker Books, 2007; ISBN 0801068118)

Transforming Church: Bringing Out the Good to Get to Great , Kevin Ford, Rob Wilkins (Saltriver, 2007; ISBN 1414308930)

Burn-up or Splash Down , Marion Knell (Authentic Books, 2007; ISBN 1932805834)

Bridging the Gap: Connecting What You Learned in Seminary with What You Find in the Congregation, Charles J. Scalise (Abingdon Press, 2003; ISBN 0687045649)

Effective Church Leadership Building on the Twelve Keys , Kennon L. Callahan (John Wiley & Sons, 1997; ISBN 0787938653)

Leadership for Women in the Church , Susan Hunt, Peggy Hutcheson (Zondervan, 1991; ISBN 0310540216)

This Is My Story: Testimonies and Sermons of Black Women in Ministry , Cleophus J. LaRue (Westminster/John Knox, 2005; ISBN 0664227767)

Shepherding a Woman’s Heart: A New Model for Effective Ministry to Women, Beverly White Hislop (Moody Publishers, 2003; ISBN 0802433545)













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ARTICLE

Who’s Holding Up Your Arms?By Halee Gray Scott, for the study “Finding Strength.”

Several years ago, when I was just beginning in ministry, I conducted a workshop at a women’s retreat on the doctrine of vocation—and I was petrified. It was the first time I put together a comprehensive teaching session, the first time I delivered more than a 15 minute speech, and the first time I realized the value of having solid people to surround me when in a leadership position.

Before the workshop began, I shared my concerns with two special women: Ardath and Nancy. Ardath, ever the prayer warrior, prayed with me during the hour-long drive to the retreat center and Nancy, a longtime friend, offered me the support of her presence by sitting in on the workshop. Through them, I was able to find the strength and encouragement I needed to move forward through a moment of trepidation to do what God had called me to do.

In Exodus 17, we see a similar thing happened in the life of Moses, albeit on a far grander scale. The Israelites were encountering their first opposition while wandering in the desert. The Amalekites, a group of nomadic raiders, attacked the people of Israel. While Joshua led the troops into battle, Moses, along with Aaron and Hur, watched the battle from a nearby hill. Exodus 17:11 reads, “So it came about when Moses held his hand up, that Israel prevailed, and when he let his hand down, Amalek prevailed.” Eventually, Moses became weary, and so Aaron and Hur responded by holding up his arms until the Israelites were able to finally defeat the Amalekites.

Often, when we think of the leadership of Moses, our minds are flooded with images of his heroic deeds. Moses the statesman, confronting the Egyptian pharaoh and negotiating the release of God’s people. Moses the shepherd, leading the Israelites through the Sinai Desert. Moses the conduit of God’s miracles, stretching out his hand to part the Red Sea. Moses the legislator, descending Mount Sinai with two stone tablets containing God’s laws. But Exodus 17 reveals to us another aspect of Moses’ leadership: the willingness to accept the assistance of others.

ARTICLEWho’s Holding Up Your Arms?

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One of the common temptations in leadership is succumbing to the pressure of having to “have it all together.” We may be tempted to hide our fears and weaknesses, feeling that we need to be strong for others. We may find it difficult to trust others with our insecurities and doubts, believing that this would somehow compromise our integrity as leaders. Such tendencies are rooted in our cultural ethic of self-reliance, and they can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation that will ultimately handicap our effectiveness in ministry. To truly grow as leaders, we must, like Moses, be willing to embrace the support of trusted friends and advisors.

But how can we forge such relationships? Here are three suggestions for how to begin:

Taking it to God. Relationships should be grounded in prayer. Pray that God will surround you with godly people and reveal to you those people he has placed in your life to support you. Pray that God will strengthen and bless these relationships.

Taking risks. Authentic, meaningful relationships require a certain level of vulnerability. When building relationships, be willing to take the risk of being misunderstood or rejected at times.

Taking time. Relationships don’t happen overnight. Like the carefully cultivated plant, they need space and time to grow. Build space in your schedule for activities and time with friends.

Ardath and Nancy, like Aaron and Hur with Moses, held up my “arms” in a time of need. Who’s holding up yours?

—Halee Gray Scott is a faculty member at Azusa Pacific University and is currently pursuing a Ph.D. in educational

studies at Talbot School of Theology, where her research interests include leadership development and spiritual

formation.

GiftedforLeadership.com, July 13, 2007



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