Rusted Metal

Launched

Operation:

rusted metal

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Copyright ©2009 Matt Malo. All Rights Reserved. Designed by Matt Malo.

Operation:

rusted metalImagine a world free of disease. AIDS, Ebola, influenza, and mad cow disease all gone.

During the last hundred years of human history mankind has seen an ever increasing oc-

currence of deadly diseases afflicting the citizens of Earth. The Earth has also seen a corre-

sponding increase in meteorite activity this past century. Core samples from meteorites have

provided samples of diseases suggesting that these diseases have an extraterrestrial origin.

After years of research and collaboration, scientists, led by not-

ed Professor Anton Korosovialisk, have finally discovered the cause of these diseases come from one central source, the planet Mars. The final breakthrough came with the help of the Mars Rover, its discovery of Mar-tian rocks and soil samples with un-mutated strains of diseases now common on Earth. From this and other discoveries, the planet Mars has been determined to be the originat-ing point for 90% of the diseases that are on the Earth. Furthermore, it was discovered that there is indeed life on Mars and that this life-form is in some way responsible for Earth’s biological bombardment. The main purpose of Operation: Rusted Met-al is to find the central source that is launch-ing these attacks and neutralize it with force if necessary. The ambassador will first attempt a diplomatic solution to this problem. At the first signs that the diplomacy is not working, addi-tional options will be explored. The task force will have recon units that will search out and identify these target areas. They will then, with

the help of the security forces, disable and destroy these targets. The secondary purpose of this mission is to discover any and all possible antidotes or cures for any of the diseases that are currently affecting the Earth. Scientist robots from the task force along with security and recon units will in-filtrate the enemy bases and seek out any and all information that may be of use to this purpose. They will regroup and evacu-ate the area to upload the information to the communications uplink with Earth Command. The discovery of extraterres-trial life has prompted the countries of the world to create an agency that over-sees matters concerning the entire Earth, The United Earth Nations. Under the direction of Mister Black, the Director of Intelligence, the first task for this agency is to investigate Earth’s options for a mission to Mars to neutralize the biological bom-bardment threat. Due to the biological nature of this threat, it is decided

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Air Marshall UNion 8; Commanding Officer, U.E.S. Avenger

5

Mission Brief

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his own force of robots in the event of mission failure by the volunteer robots. The “volunteer” robots are drafted by the U.E.N. and are tracked down and picked up from around the world for the mission. Not all of the robots come of their own freewill, some are bribed, others are black-

mailed, and others are threatened to be shut down or recycled if they are not on this mission. This creates a feeling among some of the crew of “save the humans or be shut down.” This division amongst the robot ranks between the higher ranking crew members, who voluntarily joined the mission, and the lower ranks of robots who were forcibly drafted may prove to be a serious distraction to this mission. After six months and over two hundred vol-unteers, the crew for the mission is finally se-lected and assembled. The crew consists of thirty-three robots, which includes

that robots should to be used for this mission due to their special immunity to these dis-eases. There are two options that have been presented regarding the robots that will be undertaking this mission. The first option is to enlist the aid of existing robots; each of these robots will be volunteers who will be willing to utilize their special talents and abili-ties for this mission. They will

work together as a team to complete the mission

and save the Earth. The second option is to construct a taskforce of forty robots that can carry out this mission. Unlike

the volunteer robots, these robots are to be designed and created specifically for the Mars mission, each robot being

capable of completing the mission by it if necessary.

After extended meetings and discus-sions the agency has decided against construct-ing new robots for this mission due to cost and time restraints. However, sources say that Direc-tor Black has secretly begun plans to create of

Ambassador Dorothy, Queen High Bot of the planet Polaris.

Maxine T SramWing CommanderFirst Officer

OPERATION RUSTED METAL

Mission Brief

The crew consists of thirty-three robots, which includes specialists in medicine, biology, medicine, and engineering.

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specialists in medicine, biology, medicine, and engineering. The leader of the mission is Air Marshal Union 8, an experienced leader and veteran of many theaters of war. Union 8 has demonstrated his superior leadership abilities and communication skills during his years of unsurpassed service in the military. His second in command is Wing Commander Maxine T. Sram. She has been in the service of her country since World War II and has served in many dif-ferent positions utilizing her special leadership and decision making skills. The other members of the command crew include: Dorothy, ambas-sador; Flight Lieutenant Verogue, pilot; Flying Officer Volt, navigator; Flying Officer Hamilton Ohms, tactical; Warrant Officer AWOL1, commu-nications; and Sergeant Herald, sensors. The crew is introduced to one another and is allowed to get familiar with their ship for this mission, the U.E.S. Defender X-001a, a hybrid nuclear/solid fuel spaceship. The Defender has been specially designed for this mission; it is basically a ship joined to a rocket, it is able to travel the long distance to Mars in a relatively

short time period with its powerful main engine thruster. The ship is also specially designed to carry all of the equipment that is necessary for this mission, such as supplies, parts, weapons, equipment, and repair and support personnel. The main arma-ments include the three turrets located at the nose, top and belly of the ship. Six mis-sile launchers, a complement of nine fighter drones, and four inches of armor plating cov-ered with layers of ballistic cloth and energy dissipating hardened ceramic tiles, round out the defensive capabilities of this space ship. T-minus two minutes and counting. The ship is prepped and ready for launch; the crew is on board and awaiting instructions for lift-off to begin this mission. We will know within the next few weeks if all of the planning and preparation has paid off. The crew and their ship have an enormous challenge ahead of them and the citizens of Earth are optimistic that they will be successful and they will save planet and our future. g

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Von KaiserFlight Lieutenant Chief of Security

Pot Belly PatFlight Lieutenant Chief Science Officer

Model 100Flight Lieutenant Chief Medical Officer

HeinrichWarrant Officer Chief of Engineering

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Mission Brief

Operation:

rusted metal

OPERATION RUSTED METAL OPERATION RUSTED METAL

Thermador Surge Clyde Bolt

Danny BooneDingbot Mark 27

FR-35 Radium

Brobots

101,102,103

Mouli Shredder Sparky

MP3000

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Pot Belly Pat

Recon

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Science

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U.E.N. Defender x-001aCommand & Crew Members

Dorothy Verogue Volt Hamilton Ohms

Wife Beater 2200 Elec-tron Jack Model-666 L’eye’ll

AWOL1 Herald

Agent 239.5

Ivan67 Way Rite

HALEX-9

Von Kaiser

Model 100

Maxine T. Sram

Medical

Security

Comm

and

UNion 8Commanding Officer

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Command

Name UNion 8Creator Tosha BohmanHeight 25.0 in. Price $3500.00

UNion 8Air Marshall

Commanding Officer


UNion 8 literally and metaphorically stands tall among the robots and humans of the universe. His clear vision of the way things should be, make him a great communicator and mediator. Because of his view on things and the fact that he sees life through view-master lenses some have been known to call him literally the “view-master”. UNion 8 lives up to his name not only as a view-master but also as one that provides unions, not only between his fellow robots and between humans but between robots and hu-mans as well. It could be his telephone body that led to his life long tendency of strengthen-ing and maintaining bonds of everyone he runs across. It could also be the fact that his extend-able arms enable him to reach out to others. UNion 8 is very grounded in life, which has al-lowed him a life free of indecision and hardship. This characteristic helps him facilitate this trait in others. He is a very assertive individual. Because of his assertiveness, clear-mindedness and great wisdom; achieved through an unknown amount of life lived, UNion 8 has not only prevented mi-nor scuffles between humans and robots he has even thwarted wars that could have arisen be-tween the humans and robots. Although UNion 8 seems an ideal member of society, he has a fondness for speed and has been known to have a lead foot. g

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Command

Maxine T. Sram was born in 1940 when she was drafted into the United States Armed Forces. Encouraged by her friend Rosie the riveter, Max-ine chose to sever for the entirety of World War Two. Maxine’s ability to defend herself, along with her gruff personality, allowed her to spend time in both the Army and Navy as an assistant to units on the front lines. During her time in the service Max rose to the level of Sergeant and was awarded a special hat signifying her rank that she still wares today. Since her discharge Maxine has seen every state in the continental US, and hopes to one day return Europe. g

Maxine T. SramWing CommanderFirst Officer

Name Maxine T. SramCreator Ashley CottleHeight 18.0 in.Price $960.00


Command

Name DorothyCreator Mandi ChristensenHeight 26.0 in.Price $3200.00

DorothyAmbassador

CivilianDorothy was the Queen High Bot of the planet Polaris in the galaxy Polarissima Australis, or NGC 2573. She ruled with dignity and grace. Throughout the galaxy, she was revered for her exquisite beauty and height. However, rebel bots from the planet Sonverr declared war on Polaris, forcing them into battle. King Cordon could not allow his beloved family to suffer the damages of a long war, so he put baby Bolt and Dorothy into a travel capsule. Dorothy and Bolt eventually had a bumpy landing into Lake Mich-igan. Dorothy now serves the upper class citi-zens of Chicago as a quiet and helpful maid. g


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Command

VerogueFlight LieutenantPilot

Verogue was created in a shipyard by two very hard working parents. Verogue was a very am-bitious girl and at a very young age discovered a passion for fashion. Although her parents wanted her to stay and work in the shipyard, she knew she would never be satisfied if she did not get out and see things. After traveling the world for a long time she fell in love with the fast paced lifestyle she found in New York City. She struggled finding an identity for her work as a designer but decided to stick to her roots from the shipyard and soon found fame in her ingenious mixture of vintage parts with the glitz and glamour of newer shiny parts. g

Name VerogueCreator Sarah WebbHeight ClassifiedPrice $1500.00

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Command

Name VoltCreator Kelli McEwanHeight 22.0 in. Price $1800.00

VoltFlying Officer

NavigatorVolt’s Mother was a classy high dollar stereo, and his father was a heavy-duty battery charger. As a childbot Volt’s mother taught him how to serenade a woman, and his father taught him how to charm them. However, when his parents were involved in a heart wrenching electromag-netic disaster, Volt became overwhelmed with a sense of abandonment and loneliness, he wan-

dered aimlessly in the freezing weather un-til his beautiful metal legs, and his hands

had a nice coating of rust. Volt says he’s not self-conscience about his rust but

everyone knows he is. Over the years Volt has overcompensated

with the advice of his parents. He goes around town, blar-ing his speakers with captivating mechani-cal melodies, enticing the ladybots, thus giv-ing Volt the opportu-nity to meaninglessly

charge them. Deep down Volt is a good ro-

bot looking for something more meaningful, he just needs someone to give him a place in their home and hearts. g


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Command

Name Hamilton OhmsCreator Sarah OhmsHeight 18.5 in. Price $3000.00

Hamilton OhmsFlying OfficerTacticalBorn in an era of tribal enslavement, Hamilton was surnamed Ohmskar by his captors. After heated territorial disputes among warring capitols, he became the only survivor of mass robocide. By superior strength and stealth, he swam across oceans to live the American dream. Since he was programmed to labor in his formative years, he continues in his servi-tude; yet now he serves with pride and rightly expects compensation. This reliable, practical, multi-purpose robot will beautify any abode - just set him loose in the morning and come home to well-ordered, sparkling comfort. Hamilton specializes in toilet cleaning, au-tomobile engine maintenance, pest control, and massage therapy. Hard-to-reach corners are a thing of the past; he fits into small spaces and ascends walls. When he’s not on the job, Hamilton enjoys eating pastries, telling jokes, playing cards and swimming. His all-in-one programming can be customized to suit ev-ery need. He can groom pets, wash dishes, remove snow, shine shoes, and change light bulbs. “Can he? Hami can.” g

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Command

Name AWOL1Creator Layne TurnerHeight Classified Price Classified

AWOL1Warrant Officer

CommunicationsAWOL 1 (Autonomous Wave-Optimizing Level-er 1) was originally constructed at the request of the Department of Defense in 1979. This robot was designed to optimize audio signals, primarily propaganda recordings broadcast by the U.S. Military during combat. Declassified documents show that after one year of service in the armed forces, AWOL 1 went missing. The last confirmed sighting was in 1983 at Shea Sta-dium (the robot was seen backstage at a Clash concert working as an audio engineer). g


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Command

Name HeraldCreator Michael JaggiHeight 14.5 in. Price $5000.00

HeraldSergeantSensorsHerald was engineered on March 5, 1979. He was originally designed to serve on subma-rines, with his main responsibility being to chart courses on his circular, green, support system. He also served as a night light for those sailors who were scared of the dark, emitting a soft green glow. Sadly, his service was short, having been replaced by a newer and more im-proved version of himself, after only 3 months on the job. Herald is currently retired, and volunteers at an old folks home, helping the elderly find the bathroom at night. He enjoys spending his time charting graphs, playing battleship with himself, and looking for a lovely lady counterpart who can help him chart his own personal course. g

OPERATION RUSTED METAL 18OPERATION RUSTED METAL

science

Name Pot Belly PatCreator Blake BartonHeight 19.5 in. Price $1500.00

Pot Belly PatFlight Lieutenant

Chief Science OfficerPot Belly Pat was originally designed to be a helper in the kitchen. Because of Pat’s some-times confusing features, Pat is often referred to simply as “it.” Pat is great for anyone who likes to entertain and have parties and is an expert in the culinary arts. Cooking and en-tertaining can be stressful, so Pat features a gauge on its belly to help let off steam when under pressure. Pat is a hat wearing robot and would be a total airhead if not for this reflector hat upon its head helping to get great satel-lite reception which can come in handy while entertaining. Pat features satellite radio and has recently started featuring programming in high definition. Pats long neck serves to hold its head up high and its arms and whisk-like hands help it immensely in the kitchen in per-forming its various tasks making Pat an invalu-able addition to any household. g

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science

Name Mouli ShredderCreator Eric CantwellHeight 18.0 in. Price $19.95

Mouli ShredderCivilianScientistMouli Shredder comes from the “Dog Star” of Sirius. Having run away from his master Dr. Who in order to get a little vacation time here on Earth where he plans on carousing the hip-pest atomic energy dumps with his buddy R2D2 and drinking a lot of nuclear waste. His favorite activities include chewing on car bat-teries, chasing hot atomic particle chicks and occasionally leaking battery acid on the carpet when no one is looking. g

Tired of microscopic MP3 players, minimalistically designed and black on black? Built by an au-

diophile in downtown Seattle, this little robot has seen his share of rainy

days, trudged his way through flooded gutters, and gotten lost more than once

in the kind of fog few things escape from. The MP3000, a composite of metal, glass

and technology, introduces a whole new way to relax. Functioning as MP3 player, desk lamp and trustworthy companion, this guy can blast the Beatles or serenade Buble. Your call. There’s never been a bet-

ter time to spend that money you’ve been saving for a rainy day. g


science

Name MP3000Creator Jonathan GriffithsHeight 10.0 in. Price $2600.00

MP3000Civilian

Scientist

This poor dog was rescued from a Chinese res-taurant that had plans to fry him up in their kung pow “chicken”. Now Sparky’s only aspiration in life is to find a adoring home to spend his life with. He is a pure breed iron shepherd whose demeanor will make the ideal pet. He has never had an accident and, although still a puppy, doesn’t bite or chew on anything. With his large affectionate eyes you can’t help but fall in love. He is very amiable and has a knack for reading emotions. Sweet little Sparky will do whatever he can to help you be as happy as possible. He has also developed a flair seldom seen in canines for cooking. Because of his early life ex-periences he has an innate ability to cook Chi-nese cuisine. His real specialty, however, is the most delectable pancakes and eggs you will ever taste. Sparky is very protective of those he loves and will make a great watchdog. His ears can hear up to 2 miles away and he automati-cally alerts the police of any problems he can foresee. If you are looking for a life long com-panion, you’ve found him! g

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science

Name SparkyCreator Ali GriffinHeight 10.0 in. Price $1050.00

SparkyCivilianScientist

This small robot originated from a planet of very intelligent robots. His whole life was spent in a time of war in which his family had been utilized for generations in the efforts of destruction. Al-though his anatomy was well suited for the task of stealthily dismembering individual bots and sabotaging programs while they were charg-ing for upcoming battles, he still had dreams of using his skills for a different purpose. After creating a crudely fashioned rocket ship from the parts of fallen robots of all shapes and sizes, he waved goodbye to the home he knew and made his escape without looking back. He now leads a peaceful life on earth as an inventor and in a fashion, an artist. His me-

chanical knowledge and background make a most helpful and suitable comrade.

Model 100, now going by the name of Norm, radiates plenty of warmth

to all around him. He also has a certain magnetism, which

makes him very likable. He can hack into any pro-

gram, disable or fix any machine, as well as

assemble new ones that will have an impact on tech-nology for centu-ries to come. g


Model 100Flight Lieutenant

Chief Medical Officer


Medical

Name Model 100Creator Sylvia WestonHeight 20.0 in. Price $1800.00

HALEX-9CivilianMedical Researcher

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Medical

Name HALEX-9Creator Jen EwellHeight 24.0 in. Price $3200.00

It was late. I emerged from the Underground into a bleak and foggy dampness not unchar-acteristic of London. The streets were sparse, the world was quiet. No one was out. It was strange…eerie–even for me. I heard a sound behind me. Jerking around to see I went down with unnatural force. The cracking sound of my skull as it slammed into the ground was the last thing I remember…“You were being followed,” the voice said. It was bizarre, artificial. “Noth-ing to worry about, you are fine. He thought you smelled funny.” My eyes fluttered open to see a most peculiar creature; made of an old gum-ball machine…“I–I…who are–” “Not to worry, I am friend. My mission is from 96R267-J840. I am a Heuristic Automated Liaison for Extraterrestrial eXploration. You are extrater-restrial?” That was the night I met HALEX-9. Sent here from 96R267-J840, he was asked to make con-tact, and become a sort of translator on our planet. Very self-aware and interested in our moods, he seems to understand happiness but not misery. His original body incinerated when he landed here, leaving him without protection. The nearest object–he tells me–when he landed was a gumball machine. g

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Ivan 67 is a Russian development, created during the space race for Interplanetary Surveillance and Defense. Not having seen much action in the field, Ivan developed a fondness for travel, Drive-in movies, marine biology, and fondue parties with friends. Ivan has a lot of spare time. Although good-natured, Ivan often finds him-self in trouble with the law while travelling, due mainly to his designer’s penchant for stripes. g

Ivan67Civilian

Medical Researcher

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Medical

Name Ivan 67Creator Ryan GregsonHeight 35.0 in. Price $2000.00

OPERATION RUSTED METAL OPERATION RUSTED METAL

Way Rite is a cynical and shallow robot that checks out other robots constantly. Way Rite’s parents abandoned him in the bathroom at an Irish pub at a young age. He was raised by go-go dancers and never developed a high self-confidence. Because of his shallow up-bringing, he now measures and weighs other robot body parts using his scale and mocks them if they aren’t exactly like his own. He believes his body is absolutely perfect in pro-portion and is the most beautiful collection of debris. Way Rite chooses to not date other robots because he can never find anyone as beautiful as he is and performs with his go-go dancers nightly at various bars. g

Way RiteCivilianMedical Researcher

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Medical

Name Way RiteCreator Jen GasserHeight 24.0 in. Price $1399.00

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Heinrich the zeppelin repair robot was built by Dr. Hugo Eckener in 1936 outside of Frankfurt Germany in a secret laboratory. Heinrich, was

fitted with two feet that doubled as rocket boosters. The rocket fuel was carried in can-isters attached to his back. His long skinny arms were designed to be very flexible and fit into small areas. He was designed to ac-company the famous Hindenburg airship

and perform mid flight repairs. At a mere sixteen inches tall he was but a speck against

the giant airship. The airship caught fire in New Jersey on May 6, 1937 and was completely

destroyed. Not wanting to submit the small re-pair robot to one of the many theories on why the airship caught fire, his maker hid him away and destroyed all records of his existence. Hein-rich the repair robot was recovered from an old warehouse in Germany, but his memory of the disaster was erased. We may never know the real cause of the Hindenburg disaster. g


engineering

Name HeinrichCreator Jackson CouchHeight 16.0 in. Price $1936.00

HeinrichWarrant OfficerChief of Engineering

Clyde is a sensitive, free spirited robot that doesn’t remember anything about his child-hood or where he came from. However, he doesn’t let that get him down and he lives life the best he knows how. He sees the tin as half full even though he’s, well… running on empty. He wears his ticking heart on the out-side, which makes him vulnerable at times. He means well, but you wouldn’t say he was the sharpest tool in the shed. Clyde loves to rummage through the garbage for shiny parts to replace his old dingy ones. He’s very in tune to his style and appearance. Clyde’s hobbies are trading parts and helping his fellow robot friends with minor repairs and upkeep, such as oil changes and fuel refills. Clyde has an obsession with keys and spends a big part of his day testing those he’s found on as many locks as possible. His curiosity tends to get him into trouble, but he is quick to slip his way out with dumb luck. Clyde has a strong connection with any life form he encounters and he is unforgettable. g

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engineering

Name ClydeCreator Candis CressallHeight 18.0 in. Price $1690.00

ClydeSenior TechnicianLife Support Systems

SURGE was assembled in an old barn in the country where he lived most of his life milking cows and goats. He was very efficient at his job and enjoyed working in the fresh open air. How-ever, Surge felt foreign in an agricultural setting where everything around him was organic, ex-cept for himself. To make himself feel more con-nected to this lifestyle he contributed whatever he could to make sure the things he loved never came close to “udder” ruin. Throughout his en-tire existence he has remained dedicated and diligent in everything he does. g


engineering

Name SURGECreator Cami WibergHeight 25.0 in. Price $2500.00

SURGESenior Technician

Guidance Systems

Rebel bots from the planet Sonverr declared war on Polaris, forcing them into battle. King Cordon could not allow his beloved family to suffer the damages of a long war, so he put baby Bolt and Dorothy into a travel capsule. Dorothy and Bolt eventually had a bumpy land-ing into Lake Michigan. Dorothy now serves the upper class citizens of Chicago as a quiet and helpful maid. Bolt spends his day traveling Chicago, using his retractable arms to find trea-sures so he can rebuild the capsule. Every night they light a beacon in the park before settling down by a trash can, hoping one day that Cor-don will find them. g

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engineering

Name BoltCreator Mandi ChristensenHeight 10.0 in. Price $3200.00

BoltJunior TechnicianPropulsion

Thermador is the offspring of a U-haul trailer father and a hot little space heater mother from the cold side of town. A lot of people said

their relationship would not work, but they were geared up and hot for each other.

Thermador was the result. But his father, the U-haul trailer eventually decided his mother, the little hot space heater was…well…a little too spacey, so he ditched her and ran off with an even hotter little toaster with big knobs and a reputation for overheating. Thermador was left to fend for him-self. He discovered he had a knack for mechanics and soon found himself surrounded by dozens of small appli-ances attracted to his sweeping uni-brow, his strong square shoulders and his well-defined pecs. However, Thermador could not commit himself

to a long lasting relationship with any of them. The victim of a bro-

ken home, he could never re-pair his own broken heater coil and thus he wandered from relationship to relationship,

flipping the switches of one appliance after another. When

asked if he ever intends to settle down, his response was always the same,

“none of your business, it’s PRIVATE.” g


engineering

Name ThermadorCreator Robert WinwardHeight 30.0 in. Price $2500.00

ThermadorPrivate

Engineering

The Brobot Mobile Beverage Unit was created by Shafe Co. Robotics to deliver beverages with a friendly demeanor and atmosphere. The Brobot 101, 102, and 103 are the last of their kind due to the great demand for beer during nuclear war. And excerpt from the Brobot ad-vertisement reads:

“Tired of having to get off the couch to fetch another beer? Never fear, your bro is here! With the Brobot Mobile Bever-age Unit a night on the couch is a ball game with your bros! Need another brewski? Holla at your bro and get your stein in no time! So sit back and throw em back bro!” g

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engineering

Name Brobots 101, 102, 103Creator Jon TrimbleHeight 10.0 in. Price $30.00

Brobots 101, 102, 103Private(s)Supplies & Distribution

Von Kaiser the Terrible grew up in a small town in southern Germany called Hambach. He came

from a poor family and mea-ger living where his mother was a housewife and his father

worked as a bicycle repairman. He was different than the other children in that he was made out of various bicycle parts, some movable and others immovable. Growing up he realized the dif-ferences he had. The other chil-dren wouldn’t play with him and they grew a disliking for him. Yet

Von Kaiser wanted to prove himself. This caused him to join the German army

where he started out as a private later moved up in rank. While he was stationed in Munich he met a professional cyclist named Helga. Ini-tially they were in love but soon had a falling out. Von Kaiser was quite bitter from the rela-tionship and took out his pain on the war. He

survived World War III as an astounding Ger-man army general. His competitive nature and propensity for violence caused him to acquire his pseudonym Von Kaiser the Terrible and the permanent scowl upon his embittered face. g


security

Name Von Kaiser the TerribleCreator Clint AndersonHeight 19.0 in. Price $199.00

Von Kaiser the Terrible Flight Lieutenant

Chief of Security

The Wife Beater 2200 was manufactured by the Home Robotics section of Shafe Co. Robot-ics before the entire United States was trans-formed into the nuclear wasteland it is today. At the time of manufacture, the Wife Beat-er 2200 and its predecessors were a part of a long line of “The Home of Tomorrow” robotics. This model is the last of its kind and is best known for the fiasco of a catch phrase, “Makes domestic beating a breeze.” This product’s failure was by no means due to the mobile blender’s mix-ing prowess however, and made for a terrific mixing device for any wife in “The Kitchen of Tomorrow.” g

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security

Name Wife Beater 2200Creator Jon TrimbleHeight 13.0 in. Price $120.00

Wife Beater 2200SergeantArmory

Since the day he was created, L’eye’ll was a vision of perfection. His optic ability was something to ogle over. After spending his early years work-ing for his optometrist father, L’eye’ll found his way into a job with the Cee Eye Aye. Using his unique skills, L’eye’ll helped capture some of the world’s most villainous robots. But this life was not all glitz and glamour. From his point of view, life was lonely and boring. Things changed when he came into contact with Lash, a young private eye from Division E. L’eye’ll soon had his sight set on wining Lash’s affection. They fell in love and had what seemed to be a 20/20

life. That was until Lash was caught during a classif’eye’d mission. Lash never returned.

Since that day, L’eye’ll has quit the Cee Eye Aye and has devoted his life to find-ing his dear Lash. As each clue is found, L’eye’ll never gives up hope that his true love is still out there. g


security

Name L’eye’llCreator Curtis CollinsHeight 20.7 in. Price $2020.00

L’eye’llSergeant

Security Level IV

During the “Space Chase” of modern times, France was in dire need of world popularity. In hopes to discover life on mars, a robotic cre-ation was born, the likes of which had never been seen! This spectacle of modern French imagination was and will forever be known as Elec-tron Jack. Jack soon found that his French phone service made it difficult to communi-cate with the outside world. One day while ex-ploring a deep crevice, he encountered some US astronauts who promised better service in America with no dropped calls. Upon arrival, Jack was employed as an all-in-one office ac-cessory for the President where he was utilized as a lamp, a letter opener, a hole-puncher, and a paperweight. However, he soon grew bored of the oval office and soon found his niche in the nightclub security world where he hit it big with the ladies. With his powerful flood lamp and free long distance wireless telephone he rarely had a lonely night. Jack has long since retired, and now spends his time telling chil-dren’s stories. If you look into his eyes you’ll see images from his personal favorite, Jack and the Beanstalk. Jack enjoys long night walks on the beach, and flashlight ghost stories. g

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security

Name Elec-tron JackCreator Aaron GumucioHeight 25.0 in. Price $2500.00

Elec-tron JackPrivateSecurity Level II


security

Agent 239.5 is the newest version of the classic signal reading robot. Agent 239.5 was known to be found somewhere around the Jovian plants and taken to earth by a meteorite. He landed in Washington D.C. and for the first part of his life worked in the Whitehouse as a spy for the president. He then got a little fed up with the whole politics thing and ran away to Hollywood where he now is living. He can pick up a signal up to 250,000 miles away, allowing his owner to eavesdrop on the neighbors, spy on secret meetings, and many other covert op-erations. Using Agent 239.5 is as easy as typing the person or meeting’s name into the digital

receptacle, then waiting for the signal to be received, getting the conversation word

for word. This state of the art robot can be yours to fulfill all your long

distance listening needs. g

Name Agent 239.5Creator Britney WattsHeight 23.0 in. Price $2300.00

Agent 239.5Private

Nose Gunner

Born from the deepest darkest corners of a bril-liant but completely mad, scientist Model-666 shows no mercy, and is fully capable to destroy. With a high kil-dometer reading this assassin is no fool, he will not quit ‘til the jobs done. Mod-el-666 is the perfect companion to any evil ge-nius, compact and deadly. g

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security

Name Model-666Creator Kait ArndtHeight 7.0 in. Price Classified

Model-666PrivateBelly Gunner


security

Name WrecksCreator Matt MaloHeight 18.0 in. Price $472.86

WrecksSquadron Leader

Recon Commander/Top GunnerIf you are in need of a sidekick to order around or someone who will take the blame when things

go wrong, Wrecks is the sidekick for you. He is looking for a new master, someone with lofty ambitions and a devious mind. Someone who

makes others tremble in their shoes (or sandals). Nothing short of world domination

will do. Whether you are a mad scientist or evil robot, Wrecks can help you achieve your goals. Wrecks can beg, grovel, roll over and play dead. He can pretend to listen to your every word and not complain too much about the poor conditions of the job. He is also good at re-trieving objects and can find lost objects (keys, small doomsday devices, etc). He has excellent stereoscopic hearing antennas that allow him to monitor all police and military communications. Wrecks comes equipped with a hidden compart-ment where you can safely store your secret items (Secret plans, embarrassing photos, etc). And last but not least Wrecks has been upgraded with a new laser plasma canon in his head that doubles as his eye. One drawback to this setup is that he can’t see when he fires the canon. Wrecks wants to work four days a week with a three day weekend. He doesn’t work holidays. He would like to have 15% of all income from any of his master’s evil schemes, along with a small lair, preferably a small tropical island. Somewhere he could go to relax, recharge his batteries, and contemplate ideas about to overthrow his master, er I mean, help his mas-ter conquer the world. g

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security

Name Danny BooneCreator Kimberly WilcoxHeight 28.0 in. Price $1200.00

Danny BooneCorporalRecon Level IIDanny Boone is a rambunctious eight-year-old robot whose curious mind and clumsy nature spell disaster. He loves the outdoors and idol-izes Daniel Boone, the great explorer, hunter, and militia officer. In search for adventure, Danny often steals tools from his dad’s toolbox to build great fortresses to protect him from the forest creatures that he encounters as he romps through the forest. He also enjoys disas-sembling fixtures in his home just to see how they work (much to his mother’s dismay!) He had approached his father for a real coonskin hat, but fearing it would only encourage the daring robot’s ungainly ambitions, his father refused. However, one day while Danny was sneaking out with more of his dad’s tools, he closed the garage door on the family cat, cut-ting off its tail. Danny took the tail and proudly flaunts it as his surrogate coonskin cap. g

Mark 27 was born sometime in 1945 just outside of Chicago. He was created to defend this country in the time of warfare

where remarkable success was achieved with the use of his new technology and sparking attitude. He is Lightweight, super strong has incred-ible accuracy with his all new BPR9EIX laser beam. Another amazing feature with Mark 27 is that he may also take surveillance photographs while in the field. Although Mark 27 has taken on heavy fire throughout the years he is still in tip top shape as a military soldier. With his help he has saved many American lives in different battles. Mark 27 is a modern day terminator in the battle against opposing forces. g


security

Name Mark 27Creator Tyler EgbertHeight 18.0 in. Price $1500.00

Mark 27Corporal

Recon Level II

Brainchild of a pair of military scientists head-ing the R&D department of U.S. Army Sector 17, FR-35 Radium (Ray) was to be the save-all robot for the battlefields of 2042. Inspired by their childhood heroes from the late twenti-eth century, the Teletubbies, Bell and Howell created this belly communicator for all forms of visual interaction. As a by-product of the economic downturn and multiple government bailouts beginning in 2008, funding was cut at Sector 17, forcing Bell and Howell to resort to squirreled away parts to construct their contraption. Coupled with the information screen are the data transfer cables on Ray’s right arm. His left arm is a totally atypical approach; it incorporates a pair of jumper cables for that extra spark. In late 2044, project FR-35 Radium was decommissioned and abandoned for a much more sophisticated android, leaving Ray lost in an isolated govern-ment warehouse. There the seemingly lifeless robot remained until recently discovered with nothing more than a faint tick of hope in his head. g

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security

Name FR-35 Radium (Ray)Creator Mitch SmithHeight Classified Price $3200.00

FR-35 Radium (Ray)PrivateRecon Level I


security

Name DingbotCreator Robert WinwardHeight 9.0 in. Price $1000.00

DingbotPrivate

Recon Level IDingbot was born in a clock shop in Zurich and immigrated to the U.S. by slow boat in 1910. Having lived most of his life inside a cuckoo clock, he fell in love with the little bird that lived there with him. Every hour, on the hour he would sing her song and he never believed she could live without him. His greatest pride was in being punctual. But one day, the little bird had had it with his incessant need to chime each time the door opened—so she flew the coop. The clock’s gears ground to a halt and vowed that very day to never chime again. The clock was taken down off the wall and placed high on a shelf in a dusty closet. One day, a crazy professor took him down off the shelf and lib-erated him from the wooden coffin he’d been living in for years. He added appendages: legs for walking, arms for waving and a nice sturdy head with two electrifying eye sockets. Ding-bot had a new lease on life and quickly found himself a new bird of polished pewter that he now holds close to his heart. He’s cautious to

only ding his bell on special occasions and he’s especially committed to being trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedi-ent, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent and… oh yeah…punctual. g

USUArtomation1400 Old Main HillLogan, UT 84322

The ship and crew are ready for launch; will they succeed in saving the Earth, or will they be doomed to failure?

T-minus two minutes and counting…

Rusted Metal

Documents

samples of diseases

entire earth

force of robots

citizens of earth

earth command

task force

scientist robots

planet mars