Romantic Relationships - Presentation theoretical studies

05/10/22 Karyn Krawford 1

Romantic Relationships Theory & Definition

Introduction How can we define a functional & dysfunctional relationship?

What position I take that affects this presentation

Research Bowlby – Attachment Theory Styles & characteristics of Attachment Theory

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love Close Romantic Relationships Research Report

Ending Relationships References



How can we define a functional and dysfunctional relationship? Identifying myself and my position What is the definition of a romantic relationship

Attachment Theory - What is a healthy relationship, what is an unhealthy/dysfunctional relationship

Components necessary for healthy long term relationship – Triangular theory

Social influences in Australia Reasons for ending relationships


What position do I take that effects this presentation? Personal marital status, education, background, culture, childhood, beliefs, gender

RR of most importance Resulting in marriage or cohabitation

Overall happiness strongly related to being married/in long term RR

Strong correlations between parents relationships, childhood perception

Preference in theory – attachment - Bowlby/codependency and Sternberg Triangular theory of love


Research – Why take this position Theoretical preference, observational evidence, empirical evidence, personal experience

3 people interviewed – diverse, LT Intensive questioning – childhood, marriage perception, current LT RR

Value of love Conflict Relationship maintenance strategies


Bowlby – Attachment theory

Built on demonstration by Ethologist Konrad Lorenz –goslings became imprinted to him rather than mother as first moving object encountered during their critical period for imprinting

Theory created by British Psychiatrist John Bowlby, later Mary Ainsworth, US developmental Psychologist



Attachment cont Drew on Psychoanalytic theory – relationship between mother & child – perception of self and other

Attachment is strong affectional tie binding a person to intimate companion. Also behavioural system regulating human emotional distress when under threat by achieving security in proximity of another person

First occurs 6-7 mnths, normally parent Impacts development, forming internal cognitive structure/working model representing self & other people with the processing of social information & behavior in relationships



Attachment cont Stranger anxiety – preventative Wire and cloth surrogate monkey experiment. Went to less comfortable, further distance, colder

Later development – secure & insecure relationships

Model of self – secure, preoccupied (resistant), dismissing (avoidant), fearful


Attachment styles

Secure – healthy balance, autonomous, freedom to explore

Preoccupied – desperate for love to feel worthy as person, worry about abandonment, express anxiety and danger openly

Dismissing – shut out emotions, defend against hurt by avoiding intimacy, dismissing importance of relationships, ‘compulsively self-reliant’.

Fearful – Need relationships but doubt own worth and fear intimacy. Lack of coherent strategy for meeting attachment needs






Triangular theory of love Intimacy – warmth, closeness and sharing in a relationship. Reciprocal emotional support, valuing, promote welfare, sharing self and possessions with other

Must have high level of self disclosure Passion – intense feelings +&- experienced in romantic relationships including sexual desire. Initiates drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, needs for nurture, self esteem, dominance, submission, self actualisation

Features most prominately in RR



Love components


Triangular theory of love - cont

Commitment – decision & intent to maintain relationship regardless of difficulties & costs that occur

Short term – conscious decision to love someone, long term – determination to make relationship endure

Passion peaks early, then declines, intimacy & commitment build gradually


Close Romantic Relationships - Report

1. Overall happiness (comparison with single/cohabitating) psychological & physical, life satisfaction, longevity

2. Intimacy correlates positively self esteem and self knowledge

3. Western culture – RR based on love4. Lesser % resulting in marriage/higher

divorce rate/increased acceptance of single status/homosexuality

5. Religious orientated6. Research suggesting over 8% of

population is homosexual7. Homosexual positive correlations to

child rearing


Result Dependant on couple’s communication skills

Conflict management – exceeds all other causes of divorce – anger**

Strongly correlated to parents type of relating & conflict style

Humour, open communication, honesty, empathy, appearance, sharing housework, affection, politeness, religion, emotional support, security, making time for outings, personal development, money, compromise


Marriages at 20-year high as break-ups decline THE AGE CAROL NADER September 1, 2009 The number of people tying the knot is at a 20-year high, while fewer of those signing up to conjugal

bliss are shedding tears over a failed marriage. Last year, there were 118,756 marriages registered in Australia, almost 2500 more than the previous year

and the highest number in the past two decades. In 1989, there were 117,176 marriages. The figures are contained in a snapshot of the past 20 years from the Australian Bureau of Statistics that

also shows a declining divorce trend. There were 47,209 divorces granted last year, and the numbers have been steadily falling since they

reached more than 52,700 in 2004. There is also a corresponding decline in the crude divorce rate - that is, the number of people who last

year got a divorce out of every 1000 people. That rate has fallen from 2.6 per 1000 people in 2004 to 2.2 per 1000 last year.

When marriages do end, the median length is about 12 years, and almost half of divorces affect children. The crude rate of marriage, however, has remained steady at 5.5 per 1000 people for the past three years, and is still lower than the seven per 1000 back in 1989.

Peter McDonald, head of demographics at Australian National University, said one reason for the divorce decline could be the trend in living together before marriage. Last year, 78 per cent of marriages were preceded by a couple cohabiting.

''Maybe the divorce is taking place before the marriage,'' he said. ''They've lived together and tried out the relationship but break up without marrying.''

The strong economy up until late last year could also have had an impact. ''Marriage breakdown is very much associated with economic circumstances, and if economic circumstances

are better, then couples have one less thing to argue about,'' he said. Australian Institute of Family Studies director Alan Hayes said that as people were a little older when

they married than used to be the case, they were probably making more mature decisions. ''They don't go into it wide-eyed and unrealistic; they go into it in the background of what a long-term committed relationship is like and what the challenges are,'' he said.

''It's around the maturity to understand the nature of give and take, and the extent to which you do have to make a solid commitment.''

But Professor Hayes said other data had indicated the divorce rate was growing for older people, which may be linked to the ''empty-nest phenomenon''.

Relationships Australia national vice-president Anne Hollonds said there was growing awareness about the negative impact of divorce, especially on children.

''Divorce brings with it its own problems. There has been more public discourse about divorce and its aftermath, and that may be leading to people trying harder once they're married,'' she said.

There was also greater demand for marriage counselling services, and people were seeking help earlier.


Ending relationships Infidelity, children problems,

verbal and physical abuse, loss of financial security, emotional immaturity, **religion

Reasons – 77% boredom, 73% difference in interests, 48% conflicting sexual attitudes, 44% difference in background

Desire for Independence – W 74%, M 50%



Reference List Ainsworth, M.; Blehar, M.; Waters, E.; and Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

Bowlby, J. (1969/1982). Attachment and Loss, Vol. 1: Attachment. New York: Basic Books.

Bowlby, J. (1979). The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds. London: Tavistock.

Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base. New York: Basic Books.

Feeney, J. A.; Noller, P.; and Patty, J. (1993). "Adolescents' Interactions with the Opposite Sex: Influence of Attachment Style and Gender." Journal of Adolescence 16, 169–186.

Hazen, C. & Shaver, P. (1987) Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 511-524.

Main, M., & Hesse, E. (1990). Parents' unresolved traumatic experiences are related to infant disorganized attachment status: Is frightened/frightening parental behavior the linking mechanism? In M. T. Greenberg, D. Cicchetti, & E. M. Cummings (Eds.), Attachment in the Preschool Years: Theory, Research, and Intervention, 161-182. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press

. Bernstein, D.A., Penner, L.A, Clarke-Stewart, A., Roy, E.J. (2006) Psychology (7th ed). Boston: Haughton Mifflin Company

Cardillo, M., Intimate Relationships: Personality Development through Interaction during early life,

(1998) http://www.personalityresearch.org/papers/cardillo.html [accessed 25/08/08] DeVito, J. A., (2001) The Interpersonal Communication Book 9 th ed. Addison Wesley Longman, Inc. USA Melody, P. (2003) Facing Love Addiction, HarperCollins Publishers, Inc, New York. Ohio State University Extension; Family Tapestries; Fact Sheet 2003 http://ohioline.osu.edu/flm01/FS02.html [accessed 25/08/2008] Ohio State University Fact Sheet; Dealing with anger in a Marriage (2003?) http://www.ag.ohio-state.edu/~ohioline/flm97/fs09.html [accessed 25/08/2008] Perlman, D. (2007) The best of times, the worst of times: The place of close relationships in psychology

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http://www.gottman.com/research/projects/gaylesbian/ [accessed 25/08/08] Waters, T., Learning to love: You’re your Mother’s Arms to your Lover’s arms, (2004)

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QLD, Australia

Romantic Relationships - Presentation theoretical studies

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