RESILIENT LIFE & LEADERSHIP GOD Style”(Resilient Warriors, page 199) 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 10 Are You a Tennis Ball or an Egg? The fundamentals of the Resilience Life ycle© and omprehensive

RESILIENT WARRIORS! USMA

OCT 2014 Bob Dees

MG, U.S. Army, Retired

[email protected]

www.ResilienceTrilogy.com

https://www.facebook.com/ResilienceTrilogy

Twitter.com/@MGBobDees

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 1

RESILIENT LIFE & LEADERSHIP “GOD Style”

Slides @ www.ResilienceTrilogy.com

mailto:[email protected]

http://www.resiliencetrilogy.com/



mailto:Twitter.com/@MGBobDees


5/05/14 2 RFD LLC 2014

The Army Mule

5/05/14 3 RFD LLC 2014

SESSION 1

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GET READY!!!

WE are all “Warriors”

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LIFE is a Contact Sport!

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“IN THE WORLD YOU WILL HAVE TRIBULATION….

SELF OTHERS

SPIRITUAL FORCES INEXPLICABLE TRAJEDY

Resulting From: Greek “thlipsis” squeezing Latin “tribulum” threshing

BUT BE OF GOOD CHEER, I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD.”

JESUS -- John 16:33(NKJV)

This Tribulation results in Trauma, Pain, Suffering, and Opportunity.

10/12/2014

RFD LLC

7

SUFFERING

Common Misconceptions About PAIN

10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 8

PAIN IS PUNISHMENT (versus John 9:1-5)

PAIN IS UNPRODUCTIVE (versus James 1:2-4, et al)

PAIN INDICATES SPIRITUAL FAILURE (Paul?, Job?, Peter?)

PAIN IS NOT GOOD (versus Romans 8:28,35,37)

PAIN IS NOT COMPATIBLE WITH A GOOD AND ALL-POWERFUL GOD

Categories above from: Stowell, Joseph M. The Upside of Down. Grand Rapids, MI: Discovery House Publishers, 1991.

“Our investigation of resilience will illustrate how God’s goodness, omnipresence, and omnipotence provide courage and confidence as we struggle with pain in our lives.” Resilient Warriors, page 52

Source: Spiritual Fitness Handbook

“We are often troubled,

but not crushed; sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;

there are many enemies, but we are

never without a friend;

And though badly hurt at times,

we are not destroyed.”

2 Corinthians 4:8, 9

RFD LLC 10/12/2014 9

RESILIENCE “GOD Style”

What About You? What About Me?

“Will we view the inevitable traumas of life

through a lens of resilience

and potential growth through adversity,

or will be inclined to play the role

of a helpless and hopeless victim?” (Resilient Warriors, page 199)

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 10

Are You a Tennis Ball or an Egg?

The fundamentals of the Resilience Life Cycle© and Comprehensive Personal Fitness™

can make the difference… for now, and into eternity.

“one person is devastated, while the other is determined one breaks, while the other bounces”

Before During After

RESILIENCE LIFE CYCLE©

Source: Resilient Warriors, www.ResilienceTrilogy.com

LEARN & ADAPT

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 11


The Greatest of Commandments

JESUS:

“YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR GOD WITH

» ALL YOUR HEART AND WITH (EMOTIONAL)

» ALL YOUR SOUL AND WITH (SPIRITUAL)

» ALL YOUR MIND AND WITH (MENTAL)

» ALL YOUR STRENGTH AND (PHYSICAL)

YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR (RELATIONAL)

AS YOURSELF.” (Mark 12: 30, NASB)

RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 12

Comprehensive Personal Fitness™

The Greatest of Commandments Comprehensive Personal Fitness™

10/12/2014

Comprehensive Personal Fitness™ leading to RESILIENCE

• PHYSICAL (“Body is Temple of Holy Spirit”)

– Diet, Exercise, Hygiene, Sleep

• MENTAL(“Taking Every Thought Captive”)

– Thought Patterns, Intellectual Curiosity, Acuity

• SPIRITUAL(“To be spiritually minded is life & peace”)

– Connection with God, faith practices

• EMOTIONAL(“Slow to Get Angry”)

– Regulation, Temperament

• RELATIONAL(“Let us LOVE one another”)

– Connectivity, Mutual Support RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 13 10/12/2014

Get Ready!


Know Your CALLING

Know Your ENEMY

Know Your FRIENDS

Know Your EQUIPMENT

Deploy with the Right MINDSET

Develop/Rehearse “ACTIONS ON CONTACT”

“The best time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining” President John Fitzgerald Kennedy

The Ounce of Prevention

Deploy with Right Mindset

• “Mindset” is inextricably linked with “Heartset”

• King Jehosophat’s “deployment” (putting Levites out front in battle formation) reflected both his mindset and his heartset. 2 Chronicles 20


“For Ezra had set his heart to study the law of the Lord and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances Israel.”

Ezra 7:10

“For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace.

Romans 8:6

SOURCE: Chapter 6, Resilient Warriors, 2011, Dees

Call 911

(Ask for help)

Start the IV

(Nurture yourself)

Keep Breathing

(Maintain routines)

Your Well of Courage

(Past strengths)

Remember Your Calling

“ACTIONS ON CONTACT”

“Stop, Drop and Roll”

Reflective Action (Pavlovian Response) Infantry Term Immediate Action Drills “What if…” British Army EG

Deploy Evaluate/Develop Situation Choose Course of Action Recommend/Execute


• TRAUMA is a Reality… RESILIENCE is a Necessity

• Invest now in yourself and others…

• Before, During, After

• Not merely about human strength or grit

• “Not by power or by might, but by My Spirit”

• The Secret Sauce!

– JESUS was the ultimate Resilient Warrior & Leader

– And HE grants that same Resilience to His Followers

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 17

RESILIENCE SUMMARY

Kneeling on this battle ground Seeing just how much You’ve done Knowing every victory Was Your power in us Scars and struggles on the way But with joy our hearts can say Yes, our hearts can say Never once did we ever walk alone Never once did You leave us on our own You are faithful, God, You are faithful

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“Never Once…” By Matt Redman

SESSION 2

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WEATHERING

THE

STORM!

Before During After

RESILIENCE LIFE CYCLE©

Source: Resilient Warriors, www.ResilienceTrilogy.com

LEARN & ADAPT

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 20


“Call upon me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor Me.” (Ps 50:15)

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble. Therefore, we will not fear… “ (Ps 46:1,2)


Weathering the Storm

The Bible frequently refers to the “Day of Trouble.”

In the storm, we are to call, to cry out, to God.

“On the day I called, You answered me. You made me bold with strength in my soul.” (Ps 138:3)

“Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble; He delivered them out of their distresses.“ (Ps 107:6,13, 19,28,29-32)

Consider My Servant, Job

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 22

“There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job… “… blameless, upright, fearing God and turning away from evil.”

(God to Satan) Have you considered my servant Job?

(Satan to God) …he will surely curse you to your face.

(Job) Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I shall return there.

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

3 Friends, Wife (Eliphaz, Bildad, Zophar) (Curse God, and die) Wisdom of Youth (Elihu) (33:29,30 – “that he may be enlightened”) God’s Feedback (Where were you when???) Job’s GROWTH through Trauma… (Post-traumatic Growth) “Now my eye sees you… and I repent in dust and ashes”

Consider My Servant, Job

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What does a “STORM” look like?

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“At intervals between a bomb falling it sounded like church: voices from nearby slit trenches all chanting the Lord’s prayer together- over and over again.

Louder when the bombs hit closer.” Veteran Army Air Forces Bombardier and Olympic Runner Louie Zamperini as recorded in Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand, page 117

Weathering the Storm

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Call 911 • Pray to God • Ask for Help from 911 Friends • Ask the “experts” • Graciously accept help from others

Start the IV • God’s WORD in every possible way

Keep Breathing • Count Your Way • Spiritual Breathing • Hit A Knee • Record the Journey

Draw From Your Well of Courage • Remember Past Faithfulness • FEAR + FAITH = COURAGE


“Sharon knew that Faith, Family, and Friends would be the key to living through this nightmarish reality.” Resilient Warriors, page 129, referring to Gold Star Parents Sharon and Deacon Collins

From PAIN to SERVICE God’s Economy of Suffering

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PAIN PRESENCE OF GOD

In Your Presence is Fullness of JOY

The JOY of the LORD is my STRENGTH

I can do all things through HIM who STRENGTHENS me

Not to be served, but to SERVE…

And to be a MERCHANT OF HOPE

“The Hope Diamond”

“For God

so loved the world

That He gave his one and only Son,

that whoever believes in Him

shall not perish, but have

eternal life.”

(NIV)

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John 3:16

He Loves &

He Gave

We Believe &

We Live

Courtesy Max Lucado, 3:16: The Numbers of Hope, page 8.

Psalm 31:24 Psalm 38:15 Romans 5:2-5 Psalm 42:15 Psalm 71:5

Romans 15:4,13 1 Corinthians 3:12 Colossians 1:27 Hebrews 6:18-20 1 Timothy 4:10

SESSION 3

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BOUNCING

BACK

Bouncing Back

Without Getting Stuck in the Toxic Emotions of Guilt, False Guilt, Anger, Bitterness

Sing a New Song

Revalidate Your Mission & Purpose

Comfort Others

Guard Primary Relationships

Choose Forgiveness & Gratitude

Grieve Well

10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 29 “Badly Hurt, but not Destroyed”

Guard Your Primary Relationships

• First With GOD

– Don’t lose your first love

– Press into God

• Then With Others

– Avoid attacking inward

– Set example for others



• “Don’t Take the Bait” – Flee a “Spirit of Offense”

• Choose to Forgive

– Loosen Your Grip

• Choose to Be Grateful

– Raise Your Hands

REFERENCE: Choosing Forgiveness, Choosing Gratitude by Nancy Leigh DeMoss 10/12/2014 RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 31

Grieve Well

• “Stuffing Grief” only prolongs and deepens the impact of trauma on you and others.

• Grief is like waves of the ocean that roll to our emotional shore… and then recede… time and again until the waves become smaller and less frequent.

• We never forget, but we do learn to process it through the lens of God’s Word.


Sing a New Song

• Jeremiah 29:11 – “For I know the plans that I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm

you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” (NIV)

• “Vital Optimism”

• The Power of “New”

• Singing in Prison???

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“as we obediently seek to sing a new song in our recovery from trauma, we will soon find that the Creator God starts refilling us” (RW, pg 167)

“being renewed in body, mind, soul, spirit, and relationships as we rise from the ashes of brokenness” (RW, pg 166)

Courtesy iClipArt.com

Sing a New Song

Revalidate Your Calling Discern and Chart the Future

• Personal Board of Directors

• “Zero Based Budgeting”

• “Fixed Life Costs” (Values Map)

– Comprehensive Personal Fitness™

• “Variable Life Costs” (Mission Map)

• “Practice Your Declinations”

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 34

RW Advanced Study Guide (Pg 81+) lays out this process

Courtesy GaryLEllis.org

Comfort Others

• “Walking with a Limp”

• Stewardship of Pain

• Healthy Dependence

“…God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that

we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction.”

(2 Corinthians 1:3,4)

Comfort Others


Know Your Calling

Know Your Enemy

Know Your Friends

Know Your Equipment

Deploy with the Right Mindset

“Actions on Contact”

Call 911

Start the IV

Keep Breathing

Your Well of Courage


Guard Primary Relationships


Grieve Well

Sing a New Song

Revalidate Your Calling

Comfort Others

LEARN & ADAPT

SOURCE: Page 200, Resilient Warriors, 2011, Dees www.ResilienceTrilogy.com

RESILIENT WARRIORS

RFD LLC All Rights Reserved 36 10/12/2014


• TRAUMA is a Reality… RESILIENCE is a Necessity

• Invest now in yourself and others…

• Before, During, After

• Not merely about human strength or grit

• “Not by power or by might, but by My Spirit”

• The Secret Sauce!

– JESUS was the ultimate Resilient Warrior & Leader

– And HE grants that same Resilience to His Followers

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 37

RESILIENCE SUMMARY

“We are afflicted in every way,

but not crushed;

perplexed, but not despairing;

persecuted,

but not forsaken;

struck down, but not destroyed.”

2 Corinthians 4:8, 9

RFD LLC 10/12/2014 38

RESILIENCE “GOD Style”

Consider JESUS

Calling (John 10:10b) Enemies (Matt 12:14,14a) Friends (Mark 3:13,14) God’s Word (Matt 4:7) Replenishment (Matt 14:13a) Comfort to Others (Luke 23:43) Sing a New Song (2 Corin 5:17)

Even on the Cross!

Always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.

2 Corinthians 4:10

Use this tool to analyze and learn from your life experiences, building

resilience for the future.

Learning from the Past to Build for the Future

REFERENCE: Resilient Warriors Advanced Study Guide, pages 13,14, 36-39

? 1. My “Body Slam:” ___________________________________ 2. My Reactions: _____________________________________ 3. My Thoughts: _____________________________________ 4. My Feelings: ______________________________________

BEFORE DURING AFTER LEARN & ADAPT 1. Was I Prepared for

this life experience? _______________

2. How could I “Get Ready” for this?

A. __________ B. __________ C. __________

3. Did I have “Actions on Contact” prepared in advance? _______

1. How did I “Weather the Storm?”

A. __________ B. __________ C. __________

2. What/Who were my “life preservers?”

A. __________ B. __________ C. __________

1. Did it get worse? 2. Did I grieve the loss?

(D,A,B,D, Acceptance) 3. Did I get stuck?

A. Guilt? B. Anger? C. Bitterness?

4. Am I still stuck? 5. How do I get unstuck?

A. New Song? B. Forgiveness? C. Renewed Purpose?

1. What did I LEARN? A. Before?_________ B. During?_________ C. After?__________

2. Did I GROW? How? A. __________ B. __________ C. __________

3. Did I ADAPT in order to “Be Ready” for future life traumas?

____________________

5/05/14 39 RFD LLC 2014

BEING A RESILIENT LEADER

SESSION 4

5/05/14 41

Learn & Adapt

NATIONS

LEADERS

WARRIORS

Before During After

Physical

Mental

Spiritual

Emotional

Relational

Application Domains

RES

ILIE

NC

E T

RIL

OG

Y

RO

AD

MA

P

RFD LLC 2014

Leadership is a Contact Sport!

“In the world you will have TRIBULATION,

But take COURAGE,

I have OVERCOME the world”

John 16:33 (NASB) 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 42

Leadership Makes A Difference!

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 43

Psalm 78:72 -- “So he (David) shepherded them

(selfless service)

According to the integrity of his heart,

(character)

And guided them with his skillful hands.”

(competence)

Selfless Service Over Time

From A Platform Of Character

And Competence

SELFLESSNESS

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“Above all the grace and gifts that Christ gives to His beloved is that

of overcoming self.”

Saint Francis of Assisi 1181-1226

While competencies are important, CHARACTER is the trump card. SELFLESS SERVICE, Integrity, and Courage form a three strand cord of Character that is not easily broken. SELFLESS SERVICE is “serving others without regard for self” and inherently includes personal sacrifice. The proper motives of the leader directly spring from a spirit of SELFLESS SERVICE.

INTEGRITY

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 45

What does the Bible say?

He who walks in integrity walks securely (Prov 10:9) The integrity of the upright guides them (Prov 11:3) In your teaching show integrity (Titus 2:7) Righteousness guards the men of integrity (Prov 13:6) He who walks with integrity…may dwell on Your holy hill (Ps 15)

FAMILY PROFESSION

FAITH Seamless Integration of Faith, Family, and Profession

into a God-honoring life message.

COURAGE

• PHYSICAL

• MENTAL

• SPIRITUAL

• EMOTIONAL

• RELATIONAL

5/05/14 46

Chasing a Lion into a Pit on a Snowy Day

-Reverend Mark Batterson

“Holding on 10 seconds longer”

“FEAR + FAITH =

COURAGE”

When the Giant Lies Down -Reverend Dick Foth

Unbroken -Laura Hillenbrand

Courage -Gus Lee

RFD LLC 2014

WISDOM “The Bridge

between Character & Competence”

Transforms CHARACTER into Skillful Action (COMPETENCE)

“Give me now WISDOM…” -Solomon

– “… the acquisition of wisdom is above that of pearls.” (Job 28:18)

– “…in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.” (Psalm 51:6)

– “…teach us to number our days, that we may present to You a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12)

Insures BALANCE and avoids FOLLY

WISE LEADERS:

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 47

Make Good Decisions Learn & Grow Invest in Others Wait Upon the Lord

COMPETENCE “the SKILL of his hands”

(1 of 3)

“Setting the Conditions” (BEFORE)

“…the leader’s responsibility to do everything possible before a complex or dangerous mission to ensure successful accomplishment at a minimum of risk to personnel and other resources.” (Resilient Leaders, page 181)

SIMPLICITY… a leader virtue, allowing communication of profound and difficult concepts which ensures necessary understanding and application.

VISION… a clear focus upon a future end state that propels self and others forward with expectation and perseverance.

TEAM… a group of interdependent players who exercise uniquely valuable functions towards the accomplishment of a shared vision and mission.

REALITY… Leaders who avoid bad news are condemning themselves to a fantasy world where failure to deal with reality only defers and magnifies the eventual consequences.

GROWTH… an essential organizational goal that prevents stagnation, leads to new opportunities and approaches, and instills a quest for continuous improvement.

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 48


(2 of 3)

“In Extremis Leadership” (DURING)

Positively affirm those in the crucible

Let the experts do their jobs

Seek historical parallels

Shield subordinates

Lead by example

Mobilize resources

5/05/14 49

“They came to Jesus and woke Him up, saying ‘Master, Master, we are perishing!’ And He got up and rebuked the wind and the surging waves, and they stopped, and it became calm.” Luke 8:24

Crisis defines the character of the leader. RFD LLC 2014


(3 of 3)

“Rising from the Ashes” (AFTER)

Rebuild the Team Underwrite Mistakes “Mourn with those Who Mourn” Be a Merchant of Hope Revalidate your team’s Azimuth & Processes Empower Others

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 50

“Many times leaders want to hide during the most challenging “bounce back” phase, rather than facing the tough tasks of grieving, rebuilding, regaining momentum, and renewing hope.” (Resilient Leaders, page 237)

Leader’s “Well of Courage”

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 51

“Careful you do not dip too deeply

into the well of courage”

General Dick Cavazos, U.S. Army, Retired

1. What depletes your well?

2. What refills your well?

3. How long does it take?

Dipping Deeply into the Well of Courage

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 52

Leader Self-Care • Comprehensive Self-Care™

• Disciplines of Replenishment Sabbath Rest

• Work Ending Rituals

• Lowering Ambient Noise

• Visualization (“Minute Vacations”)

• Spiritual Meditation

• Sleep Management

• Personal Risk Management™ for Leaders

• “HALT”

• “Beware the Bubble” 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 53

PUT ON YOUR MASK

FIRST!

LEADING LIKE JESUS …the ULTIMATE RESILIENT LEADER

• Do your “troops” know your voice in the dark?

– John 10

• Do you know your “troops?”

– Mark 8

• Do your troops know that you need them?

– John 21

10/12/2014 RFD LLC 2013 54

FOLLOW ME!

IN EXTREMIS

LEADING & CARING

“Leading by Learning”

RESILIENT LEADERS

LEADING LIKE JESUS 10/12/2014

RFD LLC 2013

55 www.ResilienceTrilogy.com

Selfless Service Over Time

From A Platform Of

Character And

Competence

Selflessness

Courage

Integrity

Wisdom

THE RESILIENCE TRILOGY

Major General Bob Dees U.S. Army, Retired

RFD LLC



RESILIENT WARRIORS! USMA

OCT 2014 Bob Dees

MG, U.S. Army, Retired

[email protected]



Twitter.com/@MGBobDees

10/13/2014 RFD LLC 57

RESILIENT LIFE & LEADERSHIP “GOD Style”

Slides @ www.ResilienceTrilogy.com

mailto:[email protected]




mailto:Twitter.com/@MGBobDees


HOLLAND

September 1944

Operation Market Garden

“One Boot in

front of the

Other…”

Make It Count!

RFD LLC 58

“One boot

in front of the other”

“I searched for a man among them who would rebuild the

wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land…”

Ezekiel 22:30

“Just Doing My Job, Sir!”

www.ResilienceTrilogy.com 10/12/2014


Some Familiar Terms… From your Military Resilience Training

10/12/2014 All Rights Reserved, RFD LLC 59

Activating Events, Thoughts, and Consequences

Avoid Thinking Traps

Detect Icebergs

Energy Management

Problem-Solving

Put It In Perspective

Real-Time Resilience

Character Strengths

Strengths in Challenges

Assertive Communication

Active Constructive Responding and Praise

Hunt the Good Stuff

MASTER RESILIENCE TRAINING

SKILLS 1-12

BUILDING STRENGTH Physical Mental Spiritual Emotional Relational

RESILIENCE = A LIFE SKILL

RESILIENT LIFE & LEADERSHIP GOD Style”(Resilient Warriors, page 199) 10/12/2014 RFD LLC 10 Are You a Tennis Ball or an Egg? The fundamentals of the Resilience Life ycle© and omprehensive

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