REARING GREAT LEADERS Tips for Parents Table of Contents About the Study Session 1—Starting the Conversation: Basics for Building Leaders Key Verse—Proverbs 20:11 • Session 1: Small Group Questions • Session 1: Case Study Discussions • Take-Home Handout: Family Conversation Jar Session 2—How Parents Can Help eir Kids Become Good Leaders Key Verse—Proverbs 22:6 • Session 2: Four Roles of the Proverbs 22:6 Parent Session 3—Follow the Leader Key Verse—Mark 8:34 • Session 3: Small Group Questions • Take-Home Handout: Follow the Leader Conversation Questions Session 4—Seize the Day! Key Verse—Deuteronomy 6:6-7 • How to be a Deuteronomy 6:6-7 Parent
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REARING GREAT LEADERSTips for Parents
Table of Contents
About the Study
Session 1—Starting the Conversation: Basics for Building LeadersKey Verse—Proverbs 20:11
MuchoftheinformationfromthesehasbeenadaptedfromTimElmore’sbook,Nurturing the Leader within Your Child: What Every Parent Needs to Know.Classfacilitatorswillbenefitfromreadingitbeforeleadingthesessions.Nurturing the Leader within Your Child: What Every Parent Needs to Knowwouldbeahelpfulresourceforparentstakingtheclass,butthelessonsaredesignedsothatparentscanbenefitandparticipatewhetherornottheyreadthebook.
Objectives: 1. Parents will list reasons for purposefully nurturing leadership qualities in their children. 2. Parents will learn the six areas of development required for optimal leadership development and identify
which of those areas may need more attention in our culture and in their homes.3. Using a given case study, participants will identify parenting behaviors that hinder leadership
development and brainstorm alternative parenting behaviors that would nurture leadership in the given scenarios.
Recommended Reading for Class Facilitators:•Nurturing the Leader within Your Child: What Every Parent Needs to Know by Tim Elmore, Chapters
1-3.•Generation iY: Our Last Chance to Save Their Future by Tim Elmore, Chapter 2
Preparing for the Lesson:Makeaconversationjarforeachsmallgroupinyourclass.Jellyjarsorsimpleplasticcontainerswithlidsworkwell.Printasetofthequestionsbelowforeachconversationjar.Cutthequestionsapartandplaceeachsetinajar.Conversationjarsareasimpleclassroomtoolthatcanbeusedtoincreaseparticipationinclassdiscussionandallowleaderstoeasilyfacilitatesmall-groupsharingeveninlargeclasses.Modelingtheuseofconversationjarsduringthefirstsessionwillhelpparentslearnhowtouseconversationjarsathomelatertoinspirediscussionaboutimportanttopicswiththeirchildren.
Conversation Jar Questions:•Whatdoesbeingaleadermeantoyou?•Doyouwantyourchildtobealeader?Whyorwhynot?•Whatmakessomeoneagreatleader?
Session: • SmallGroup
- Dividetheclassintosmallgroupsofthreetofivepeople.- Have small group members introduce themselves to each other and share the names and ages of their
children. - Use the conversation jars you have prepared. Have group members draw a question from the jar and
read it aloud. Allow everyone in the group to respond to each question.
•WholeGroup- After small groups have had an opportunity to answer the questions in their conversation jars, lead
the whole group discussion emphasizing the following points.- ReadProverbs20:11,“Evenachildisknownbyhisactions,bywhetherhisconductispureandright.”Ourchildrenarebecomingtoday.Becomingwhat,wedonotyetknow,buttheprocessof
becoming has already been set in motion. Our children are already developing character and are alreadyknownbywhethertheirbehaviorisgoodorbad.
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Our children are learning lessons about character (good and bad) at school and soccer, dance classanddinner,whilewaitinginlineandsurfingonline.Ourchildrenareinfluencedbypeers,parents, teachers and strangers. The media gladly offers them advice on what to wear, what to buy andwhattolike.Everyonewantstoinfluenceourchildren.Everyonehasanagenda.Parentshaveapowerfulwindowofopportunitytonurturethetraitsandteachtheskillsrequiredforourchildrentomakerightchoicesandinfluenceotherstodothesame.Forthisclass,leadershipreferstotheabilitytoinfluenceothers. Nurturing the leadership potential in our children not only helps them to become a positive influenceintheworld,butalsohelpsthemtobemorediscerningabouthowtheworldinfluencesthem. Few children grow up to be president or head their own company, but all children have the potentialtoinfluenceothers.Goodleadershipisnotnecessarilyafunctionofposition.Rather,goodleadershipisafunctionofcharacter,motivationandpurpose.Positivelyinfluencingothersistheessenceofgreatleadership.Yourjobistoteachtheskillsandfacilitatetheopportunitiesrequiredtodeveloptheleadershippotential in your uniquely gifted child. These lessons will help you identify what needs to be done and develop a plan to do it.Goodleadershipisnotnecessarilythefunctionofaspecificpersonalitytype.Leadersmay
Nurturingtheleaderinyourchildmeanshelpingyourchilddothefollowing(adaptedfrom Nurturing the Leader in Your Child: What Every Parent Needs to KnowbyTimElmore):
variety of meaningful causes for which one can serve)•Valuepeople(learningthejoyofunselfishness,caringaboutothersandsharingwithothers;learningto
appreciate and love people that are different or difficult) • Learnperseverance(developingpersistence,diligenceandasolidworkethic)• Pursueexcellence(learningtodoone’sbest;beingdiscerningabouthowtospendone’stimeandenergy;
avoiding laziness)
Small GroupOncethegrouphasdescribedwhatismeantbyeachofthesesixgoals,invitethesmallgroupstodiscussthe
Small GroupInvitesmallgroupstoreadthecasestudiesonthehandoutandanswerthequestionsastimeallows.(Tip:Inaclassroomwithsmallgroupsincloseproximity,assignsmallgroupstostartwithdifferentcasestudies.Thishelpsindividualsfocusontheirgroup’sdiscussion.)
Footnotes1TimElmore,Nurturing the Leader in Your Child: What Every Parent Needs to Know (Nashville:ThomasNelson,2004),10.2Elmore,Nurturing the Leader,10.
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Session 1 Small Group Questions
Nurturingtheleaderinyourchildmeanshelpingyourchilddothefollowing(adaptedfromNurturing the Leader in Your Child: What Every Parent Needs to KnowbyTimElmore):
Case Study #1Laurenhasafriendwithjuvenilearthritis.Laurenispassionateaboutfindingacureforherfriend’sdisease.HerparentsencourageLaurentostudyhardsothatonedayshecanbeadoctorandhelpotherchildrenwhohavespecialhealthcareneeds.
Case Study #2Noah’sclassisparticipatinginamissionproject.Theteacherhasaskedeachchildtobringinitemstopackgoodieboxestotaketochildrenatahomelessshelter.Noah’sdadgiveshim$5andtellshimtogivethemoneytohisteacherfortheproject.
•WhatimportantlessonscouldNoahlearnfromparticipatinginthisproject?(Considerthesixtasksparents need to help their children achieve to become good leaders.)
Case Study #3Kaylawantstojoinasoccerleaguewithherfriends.Herparentsthinkitwouldbeagoodideaforhertobeonateam,buttheleague’sgamescheduleconflictswiththefamily’sSundaySchoolandworshipschedule.Kayla’sparentssuggestedsigningupforadifferentleague,butKaylawantstoplayonthesameleaguewithherfriends.
Case Study #4Jackistenyearsoldandwantstogotosciencecamp.Jackhasneverspentthenightawayfromhome,butassureshisparentsthatheisreadyandresponsibleenoughtoattendaweekatcamp.
Objectives: 1. Parents will identify the character traits and attitudes they believe are necessary for their child to be a
good leader.2. Parents will explore the four roles they must play to effectively nurture the leadership potential in their
child (adapted from Nurturing the Leader within Your Child by Tim Elmore).3. Parentswillplanspecificwaystoconnectwith,observe,listentoandleadtheirchildinwaysthat
facilitate leadership development.
Recommended Reading for Class Facilitators:•Nurturing the Leader within Your Child: What Every Parent Needs to Know by Tim Elmore, Chapter 4.
Preparing for the Session:WritethesixgoalsthatparentsneedtohelptheirchildrenachievefromSession1onadryeraseboardorposterpaperintwocolumnsasdemonstrated.
Know themselves Value others Develop their gifts Learn perseverance Find their passion Pursue excellence3
•AccordingtoleadershipdevelopmentspecialistDr.AlanNelson,authorofKidlead: Growing Great Leaders, “By fourteen, our moral fabric is pretty much established. Even though we learn to articulate our standardsandphilosophybetterthroughoutteenyearsandearlyadulthood,wearenotlikelytochangesignificantly,outsideoftraumaticexperiencesthatmarkus…Adultcharacterisprettymuchestablishedbyfourteenyearsofage.”4
• Itisourresponsibilityandprivilegetoteachchildrentousetheirinfluenceforgood.• Itisourresponsibilityandprivilegetonurturediscernmentinourchildren.Notonlydoesnurturingpositiveleadershipencouragethemtobeapositiveinfluenceintheworld,italsohelpsthemtochoosewisely who they will follow.
your everyday life.•Helpyourchildidentifypositivenegativeinfluences.•Talkabouthowyourchildcanbeapositiveinfluenceoranegativeinfluenceonothers.• Foryoungerchildren,usesimplerlanguage.Forexample,ask,“Whodoyouwanttobelike?Whodoyoulistento?Whodoyoulookupto?Whodoyouadmire?”Askthem,“Whowantstobelikeyou?Wholistenstoyou?Whodoyoulookupto?Whoadmiresyou?”
2. Doctor6—A good doctor would never write a prescription before ascertaining the needs and condition ofthepatient.Agooddoctorspendstimeobserving,examiningandaskingquestionsbeforemakingadiagnosis.Ourchildrenneedustoobserve,examineandaskquestionsbeforedolingoutinstructions.Notallchildrenarealike,soourprescriptions,ourinstructions,ourparentingshouldbeindividualized.
3. Counselor7—Beanactivelistener.Connectwithyourchild’sthoughtsandfeelings.Findwaystocommunicatethatyoucareandvaluethem.Sometimesourchildrenneedustobeadoctorwithaprescription—for us to listen and provide a solution. Other times, being heard is what our children needthemost.Listenwithyourearsandyoureyes.Watchyourbodylanguage.Allowemotionstobeexpressed appropriately and express your own emotions appropriately.
4. TourGuide8—“Ourjobistogetthemtotheirdestination;aplacetheymaynothavebeenabletoarriveatontheirown.”Providefreedomtoexplorewithinhealthyboundaries.Createopportunitiesforyourchildrentogrowandstretch,facilitatebeneficialexperiencesbasedonwhatyouhavelearnedastheirhost, doctor and counselor. Consider the leadership principle or character trait you want your child to develop and, as their tour guide, create the opportunity to learn it. For example, if your child needs to learntobegenerous,howcouldyoucreateapowerfulopportunitytoserveorgive?
Footnotes3Elmore,Nurturing the Leader,10.4Dr.AlanNelson,Kidlead: Growing Great Leaders(Charleston,SC:BookSurge Publishing,2009),42.5Elmore,Nurturing the Leader,44.6Elmore,Nurturing the Leader,477Elmore,Nurturing the Leader, 51.8Elmore,Nurturing the Leader,54.
Objectives: 1. ParentswillexploreleadershipstrategiesofJesusfoundinLuke9.2. ParentswillexplaintheimportanceofprovidinggreatleadershipandfollowingJesusChrist.3. Parents will identify how to bring out the best in their children.
Recommended Reading for Class Facilitators:• Luke9•Nurturing the Leader within Your Child: What Every Parent Needs to Know,Chapters8-9.
Preparing for the Session:ParticipantswillneedBiblestouseinthesmallgroupdiscussionduringthislesson.MakeenoughcopiesoftheSession3SmallGroupDiscussionGuideforeachparticipant.
• Great leaders need great leaders. Ifwewantourkidstobecomegreatleaders,wemustprovidegreatleadershipforthem.Ourkidsneedtoknowwhoandhowtofollow.
•The best and only perfect leader is Jesus Christ. Howwilltheyknowwhoandhowtofollowifwedon’tteachthem?We teach our children to follow Jesus Christ by following Christ ourselves. We model daily obedience to Christ for our children.
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•Following Jesus brings out the best in us. HowdoesfollowingJesusbringoutthebestinus?JesuscallsustofollowHimbecauseHelovesusandhasourbestinterestatheart.HeknowsthatfollowingHimwillbringoutthebestinus.He’sjustwaitingforustofigurethatout.Themorequicklywefigurethatout,thebetter.Themorequicklyourkidsfigurethatout,thebetter.FollowingJesuswillbringoutthebestinthem, too.
•Great leaders bring out the best in others. Aswebringoutthebestinourkids,ourkidswilllearntobringoutthebestinothers.Ourkidshavethepowertobuildothersuportotearothersdown.Kidscanbecruel.Or,kidscanbekind.
Objectives: 1. Parents will identify four times a day that they can incorporate leadership training into their schedule
basedonDeuteronomy6:6-7.2. Parents will create personalized leadership tools to use at home with their children.
Recommended Reading for Class Facilitators:•Nurturing the Leader within Your Child: What Every Parent Needs to Know by Tim Elmore, Chapters
10-11.
Preparing for the Session:Thisisaninteractive,kinestheticlesson.Parentswillmakeapersonalizedleadershiptoolortoolstosharewiththeirchild.Whateachparentmakeswilldependontheage,interestsandpersonalityoftheirchild.ThefacilitatorwillneedacopyoftheSession4Handout,HowtoBeaDeuteronomy6:6-7Parent,foreachparticipantandavarietyofcraftmaterialsfromthelistbelow.Participantswillalsoneedtablesatwhichtowork.
ThefollowingfourstepstobeingaDeuteronomy6:6-7parentareadaptedfromNurturing the Leader within Your ChildbyTimElmore.9
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1. Show up. Your children are enormously blessed to have you for a parent. The fact that you are attending aclasslikethisindicatesthatyouarecommittedtobeingthereforyourchild.
2. Wake up. To most effectively impact your child, you have to get in touch with their world, their needs,theirconcernsandwakeuptotherealitythatourtimetotrainthemislimited.Wehavebrieflyaddressedtheseissues.CheckoutTimElmore’sbooks,Nurturing the Leader within Your Child and Generation iY: Our Last Chance to Save Their Future, for more information about the challenges that parents need to address.
3. Set up. Plan. Prepare. Be proactive. Figure out what you want your child to learn and how you are going to teach them. Figure out what they need to practice and how you will create opportunities for them to get that practice. That is our focus today. That verse we read in scripture tells us exactly how and when to do it.
•Romans12:1-2(TheMessage): So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping,
eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
Make a list of character traits and leadership concepts you want your child to develop. You’llbeafarmoreeffectiveteacherifyouhaveyourobjectivesclearlyinmind.Doyouwantyourchildtohaveastrongworkethic?Putthatonyourlist.Doyouwantyourchildtovalueothers?Putthatonyourlist,too.DoyouwantyourchildtohaveastrongfaithandcloserelationshipwithGod?Putthatatthetopofyourlist.Useyourlisttoguideyourconversations,prioritizethefamilyscheduleandparentwithpurpose.
Make a new conversation jar. Putquestionsinajar.Includequestionsaboutthecharactertraitsandleadershipconceptsonyourlist.Thisisafunandeasywaytostartmeaningfulconversations.Includefunny,sillyandseriousquestionstokeepitinteresting.Usetheconversationjarinthecaroratthedinnertable.Taketurnspullingoutquestionsandhaveeveryoneanswerthequestions.Letyourchildwritequestionstoaddtothejar,too.
HereareafewgoodquestionsfromTimElmore’sNurturing the Leader within Your Child.11