Raising Children in a Digital Age, St Thomas's Church, Fair Oak

Dr Bex Lewis, Director, Digital Fingerprint; CODEC, St John’s College, Durham University

Fair Oak, 14/03/15

http://j.mp/raisechildrenST

RAISING CHILDREN IN A

DIGITAL AGE

CC Licence 4.0 non-commercial

@drbexl

Published by

Lion Hudson

February 2014

http://digital-

fingerprint.co.uk/di

gitalparenting/

“If we want resilient kids we need to

understand what young people’s

experiences are online, listen to their

concerns, and intervene with their best

interests in mind.”

Jane Tallim, Co-Executive Director,

MediaSmarts, Canada, January 2015 http://mediasmarts.ca/research-policy/young-canadians-wired-

world-phase-iii-trends-recommendations

UNDERSTAND!

“We’re doing this because all the research tells us that children and young people respond best to their peers. Whether they’re under pressure to take part in a dangerous prank, or to victimise someone, or whether they’re an online bully themselves, stories told by other young people are most likely to resonate and to help them cope, or change their behaviour.”Andrew Tomlinson, Executive Producer, Media Literacy, BBC Learning

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/aboutthebbc/entries/f1f50247 -4902-4998-bf58-3e2d3c007587

BBC: BE SMART

LET’S “TWEET” EACH OTHER…

HEADLINES!!

Image Credit: Stockfresh

ARE FEARS JUSTIFIED?

Image Credit: Stockfresh

Even though in practice,

face-to-face communication

can, of course, be angry,

negligent, resistant,

deceitful and inflexible,

somehow it remains the

ideal against which

mediated communication is

judged as flawed.

Prof Sonia Livingstone, Children and the Internet: Great Expectations and Challenging Realities. 2009, p26

https://twitter.com/hanelly/status/405754162555944960/photo/1

DIGITAL CULTURE: WHY IT MATTERS

Image Credit: Stockfresh

http://youtu.be/zxpa4dNVd3c

http://pennystocks.la/internet-in-real-time/

TECHNOLOGY: THE TOOLBOX

Image Credit: iStockphoto

http://www.reddit.com/r/geek/comments/1zxyz2/social_media_explained/

Facebook

http://www.digitalinformationworld.com/2015/01/2015-facebook-marketing-success-kit-infographic.html

Twitter

http://www.adweek.com/socialtimes/twitter-facts-2015/612443

YouTube

Blogging

https://www.pinterest.com/revmaryhawes/

CHILDREN IN DIGITAL CULTURE

Image Credit: RGBStock

COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE,

COMMUNICATE

Image Credit: Stockfresh

http://www.Fosi.Org/downloads/

resources/familycontract_us.Pdf

PRACTICAL ADVICE: PRIVACY &

PERMANENCY

Image Credit: RGBStock

To monitor

or not to

monitor?

IDENTITY, VALUES AND AUTHENTICITY

Image Credit: Stockfresh

JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN

… DOESN’T MEAN YOU

SHOULD!

H.A.L.T.

If you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired, step away from the keyboard/keypad and deal with that issue first.http://redcatco.com/communication/stop-posting-social-media/

Who sees this?

1. (God)

2. Parents

3. ‘Kids’

4. Newspaper

5. Enemy

HUMAN

BEINGS AT

MACHINES,

NOT “ARE

MACHINES”

Image Source: Stockfresh

RELATIONSHIPS (ONLINE)

Image Credit: RGBStock

The Bullied

The Bully

The Bystander

The

Bullied

SIGNS SPECIFIC TO CYBER-

BULLYING?

• Long hours on the computer

• Secretive Internet use

• Screen minimization

• Refusing to log on or answer phone

• Extreme possessiveness of phone, to

which constant nervous looks are

given.

EMOTIONALLY:

•No shame: not their fault

•Don’t threaten their (online)

access

•Spend extra time together: time

for communication

•Nurture self-confidence

PRACTICALLY:

• Don’t respond

• Keep copies of messages as ‘proof’

• Understand how to ‘block’ accounts

• Talk to child re contacting school

• Think hard before talking to parents of

bully

• Get phone number blocked

The Bully

MY CHILD A BULLY…?

Someone will tell you

Talks about other children at

school negatively or aggressively

Has money, toys, or other items

that don’t belong to them

DISINHIBITION

The bully doesn’t see the distress

that they cause, feels safe from

capture, and protected by the

technology, able to say things

that they would never say offline.

Zero-

Tolerance?

ANY SOLUTIONS?

•Explain what bullying is.

•Monitor their e-devices

•Ensure a consistent approach

with school/youth-group

•Are they avoiding being bullied

by becoming a bully?

ANY SOLUTIONS?

• Remove their Internet and mobile privileges (for a fixed period).

• Encourage them to apologise and take responsibility.

• Assign him/her a book to read about bullying?!

• Get them to write an essay on the dangers of bullying?!

• Assign him/her to community service or other time-consuming activity.

The Bystander(s)

The only thing

necessary for the

triumph of evil is that

good men do nothingQuote commonly (and probably erroneously)

attributed to Edmund Burke

HTTP://YOUTU.BE/RUBQETAMD5G

DIGITAL ALLIES

Increased time spent online will most likely increase exposure to negative experiences –but also the positive opportunities. Nancy Willard, a cyberbullying expert, calls for us to work on the “understanding that the vast majority of young people want to make good choices, do not want to be harmed, and do not want to see their friends or others harmed” . We can’t control their whole environment, online or offline, so parents need to give their children the capability to deal with problems as they come across them.

Raising Children in a Digital Age , p.63

Stranger Danger

2012/13

550 UK Abductions

Less than 1/5: unknown

INCREASINGLY MOBILE

Image Credit: RGBStock

SEX TALK (PORN, PAEDOPHILIA AND

SEXTING)

Image Credit: Stockfresh

KEEPING WITHIN THE LAW

Image Credit: RGBStock

HEALTH WORKS

Image Credit: RGBStock

Physical Setup

Brain Changes

Addiction

Multitasking

Conversational Ability

Couch Potatoes

SCREEN TIME AND FAMILY DYNAMICS

Image Credit: Stockfresh

GAMING

Image Credit: RGBStock

DOES DIGITAL OFFER (LIFE) OPPORTUNITIES?

Image Credit: RGBStock

Do it for themDo it with themWatch while they do itLet them do it for themselves.

Will Taylor

PROGRESSIVE RESPONSIBILITY

Image Credit: RGBStock

GRANDPARENTS, TEACHERS

& YOUTH LEADERS

Image Credit: RGBStock

LOOKING TO THE FUTURE

Image Credit: RGBStock

BOUNCE BACK?

Image Credit: Stockfresh

What is your ONE

takeaway action?

@drbexl @codecuk @digitalfprint