Session 2 - Masquerade LOOK IN – The Quest for True Identity Masquerade Masquerade! Paper faces on parade. Masquerade! Hide your face, so the world will never find you! Masquerade! Every face a different shade. Masquerade! Look around - there's another mask behind you! Lyrics from “Masquerade, Phantom of the Opera” “And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and the wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.” Genesis 3:8 Let’s face it - we all wear masks. All of us, at one time or another, have tried to cover up. We’ve slipped on masks to hide, to disguise or to pretend. Most guys have so many different masks we could open up our own costume shop. So step inside the Men’s Masquerade Shop. We are always open for business. Come on in and browse the aisles with me. Check out our merchandise. Immediately on the left, and behind the curtain you’ll see one of our most popular sections, especially with men – The Bedroom. We keep this portion of the shop positioned in the front because it gets so much foot traffic. Busy place. Hard to keep enough inventory on the shelves. It’s always been crowded, but it seems with each passing year the demand increases. We’ve actually had to expand this section three times over the last five years alone. We’ve had a curtain into this area for years, but frankly I’m thinking of taking it down. There used to be a little embarrassment, a little self-consciousness as men entered. But it hardly seems to matter anymore. These masks are becoming far less private and much, much more public.
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Session 2 - Masquerade LOOK IN – The Quest for True Identity
Masquerade
Masquerade! Paper faces on parade. Masquerade! Hide your face, so the world will never find you! Masquerade! Every face a different shade. Masquerade! Look around - there's another mask behind you!
Lyrics from “Masquerade, Phantom of the Opera”
“And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and the wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden.” Genesis 3:8 Let’s face it - we all wear masks. All of us, at one time or another, have tried to cover
up. We’ve slipped on masks to hide, to disguise or to pretend. Most guys have so
many different masks we could open up our own costume shop.
So step inside the Men’s Masquerade Shop. We are always open for business. Come
on in and browse the aisles with me. Check out our merchandise.
Immediately on the left, and behind the curtain you’ll see one of our most popular
sections, especially with men – The Bedroom. We keep this portion of the shop
positioned in the front because it gets so much foot traffic. Busy place. Hard to keep
enough inventory on the shelves. It’s always been crowded, but it seems with each
passing year the demand increases. We’ve actually had to expand this section three
times over the last five years alone.
We’ve had a curtain into this area for years, but frankly I’m thinking of taking it down.
There used to be a little embarrassment, a little self-consciousness as men entered.
But it hardly seems to matter anymore. These masks are becoming far less private and
much, much more public.
Session 2 - Masquerade LOOK IN – The Quest for True Identity
You are invited to look around in the Bedroom section. It’s filled
with images that will stimulate your eyeballs and arouse your
passions. It’s here where you’ll find what you’re looking for it you
want to impress others with your sexual prominence. You stud.
It’s here where you can boast about your sexual experience and prowess. Why, after
all, you’re a player. You’ve got notches on your belt of all the babes you’ve bedded.
You can take your pick of masks.
You’ve got your James Bond variety. Smooth. Shaken, not stirred. Use ‘em and lose
‘em. One night stands with no regrets, no remorse and of course, never any
consequences. This is a popular mask, because about every year the style changes
slightly.
Perhaps you’re more the Hugh Hefner type. Brash. Blatant. Put her on your arm and
on display so the world can see you’ve still got it. Everyone knows your secret (who
hasn’t seen all the commercials for Viagra or Cialis), but they’ll be impressed, none-the-
less.
Here’s an oldie-but-goodie in the Bedroom section. It’s the locker-room mask. Guys
grab this one all the time so they can yuck it up with the boys. Size matters, so we only
carry this mask in extra large. This particular mask comes complete with a built-in
megaphone - so as you brag and boast others will be sure to hear you. Very popular.
Especially with the younger set.
As we move out of the Bedroom section, we move to
the next aisle of the costume shop – The Ball Field.
And there is certainly no shortage of choices here.
Up on the walls you’ll see everything that can be
measured. Performance of every degree is
Session 2 - Masquerade LOOK IN – The Quest for True Identity
highlighted in this section, but the most prominent is the athletic emphasis.
Let’s face it, you put on an athletic mask and people are impressed! Athletes are
strong. They’re fast. They’ve got what it takes. They are the record setters. They are
cheered and revered, applauded and lauded. The ones with athletic masks show off
their stats, they display their achievements, they highlight their highlights.
But the Ball Field section isn’t just about sports. Oh no. We’ve got performance masks
for those who compete at the office – who’s #1 this quarter; who hit quota; who was
salesman of the year; who earned the bonus. We’ve got performance masks for school
- GPA, SAT scores, class rank. We’ve got performance masks for home – keeping
score of everything you do around the house; how many times you’ve helped with the
kids; changed a diaper, went to a chic flick. And yes, we carry a large stock of the
performance masks for church goers. Who doesn’t want to wear one of these? We’ve
got the faithful attender, the perpetual volunteer, the do-gooder at every turn, the “I’m
great, couldn’t be better” smile or the “I’m better than you smirk”. These are some of
the most popular church masks. But no matter the sub-category, it’s all about man-
measurable performance in the Ball Field section.
The next section has been hard hit lately, but oh, you should
have seen it a few years ago! It’s The Billfold section. It’s
here where you can find a mask that appeals to all that
money can buy, or that credit can float. Prestige on parade.
All the trappings of success. We’re talking bling and a fling. The mask that says, “I’ve
arrived.” These masks come with all of the necessary accessories: pure Corinthian
leather, the finest silk shirts and ties, tailored suits and fancy pens. Not just a timepiece
– a statement. This Billfold section would be about the boys toys and all the latest
gadgetry. The Sharper Image catalog can’t
even keep up with what we have to offer.
Session 2 - Masquerade LOOK IN – The Quest for True Identity
Moving on, we next come to The Bullring section of our costume shop. The most
popular mask here is, of course, the proud matador. Self-sufficient. Self-reliant. This is
the loner who boasts of his independence. These masks say, “Who needs anyone
else?” or even “Who needs God?” With this mask, you’re the kind of guy who can fly
solo. You don’t need any wingman for support. You’re the scout who travels by
himself. You’re the lone wolf. You’re the macho hermit. You are the army of one.
Our last major section is surprisingly popular. It’s The Blindfold aisle. On these
shelves you’ll find blindfolds of every shape and color.
Everything here screams, “not me”. Need something to
block out the problems of the world – slip on the blindfold
and simply slip into denial. Want something to keep you
safely anchored in the harbor of apathy? Then most of
these blindfolds will do the trick. They’re perfect for
keeping you right where you are. No need to ever
change or make waves wearing these beauties!
WARNING!
As proprietor of the costume shop, I’m required to disclose the dangers of the products
that we sell. (Oh, those lawyers! They’ll put disclosures and disclaimers on a cotton
ball.)
Confusion
Most customers have such a large choice of masks that picking the right one is as
confusing as a 31 Flavors ice-cream store on steroids. It’s tough to figure out which
mask to wear at which time. For this reason, here are some suggestions.
Session 2 - Masquerade LOOK IN – The Quest for True Identity
Monday through Friday from 6:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. we recommend the Ball
Field/Performance variety. You’re going to be surrounded with other fellow posers all
chasing something to measure, so join the crowd. Be sure to keep your occupation
mask spruced up and shiny because it is the one mask that most guys will ask to see.
After hours, and especially on the weekends, of course, it’s the Bedroom mask you
need. Put on the appropriate cover-up here and look for your identity through a
smorgasbord of indulgences of the flesh. The Billfold comes in handy on the weekends
as you try to impress your neighbors and friends. And it’s always a good choice for
those reunions where you are called on to one-up your long-forgotten friends. The
Bullring masks are worn pretty much any time. Pride and ego go with about anything.
They’re like a pair of jeans. But be sure you keep this variety on real tight, especially if
feel vulnerable to emotions or a tinge of loneliness. And for the Blindfold – most guys
prefer wearing this one at home. Ignore the problem and hopefully it will go away.
Cover up with the Blindfold and hopefully you won’t be forced to face what needs facing.
Insecurity
All of these masks attempt to cover up our insecurities. As Joe Ehrmann says, “We’ve
learned since we’ve been little boys that if we don’t have the right stuff we better have
the right bluff.” And to some of us have learned to excel at bluffing through life. Fears,
failures, anxieties. I’m required by truth to disclose that they will never totally go away –
no matter how many masks you wear.
Compromise
Anytime you put on a mask there’s a compromise. A give and take of sorts. You give
up a piece of who you really are and take on something that you’re really not.
Sometimes you compromise your standards and values. You settle for less. Like a real
estate rookie going up against Donald Trump you know you deserved more, but you
slide out with much less than you thought going in. Compromise your true identity and
you’ll eventually suffer. There will be painful delayed consequences.
Session 2 - Masquerade LOOK IN – The Quest for True Identity
Apathy
Here’s a tragic and common side-effect of mask wearing. So many guys simply refuse
to admit a problem exists and never deal with it. We’ve stuffed and bluffed for so long
that we’re as numb as tongues on Novocain. We’ve lost touch. We’ve become
desensitized to our emotions and feelings. And since we’re not quite sure what to do,
we do nothing. The mask-wearer has become so commonplace that he never takes it
off. It becomes a natural part of who we are.
There. That’s enough for now. Our lawyers wanted more, but they get paid by the hour
and by the word, so we’ve capped the disclosure statement to the minimum. And
frankly, these disclosures are about as effective as the warning labels on cartons of
cigarettes. We know they are dangerous, but who cares? Who pays any attention?
And just like those cancer sticks, we know deep down we will probably experience
some sort of future damaging consequence for wearing these masks. But the promise
of pleasure now trumps what we know to be true – and so men line up at the register,
their carts full of masks – pain be damned.
Walk through this costume shop of masks and it all seems so sadly familiar. You’ve
seen them all around. Like the lyrics from “Masquerade” say – “paper faces on
parade…look around there’s another mask behind you.” Everyone seems to be
wearing one. But despite the popularity would you consider a bold change? Instead of
looking around to see another mask behind you – are you man enough to look in the
mirror and see that the mask isn’t behind you, it’s on you? Are you ready to face the
fact that you’ve been playing this Masquerade long enough? Are you willing to remove
the masks and stop the charade? Is now the time to unveil the myths of masculinity and
uncover the real you? Before we move any further, let’s look at one more warning
about those of us who have been wearing the masks.
The Ultimate Warning
Session 2 - Masquerade LOOK IN – The Quest for True Identity
Jesus would have hated our costume shop – but he would have loved the caution
section. He didn’t mince any words when it came to those wearing masks. The word
He used was “hypocrite”. Hupokrites is the word in Greek. Strong’s Lexicon defines
this word with the synonyms pretender, an actor, a stage player. Webster defines
hypocrisy this way: “feigning to be what one is not.”
The hupokrites was the guy on stage who would hold up a mask in front of his face to
portray an exaggeration of a certain emotion. You want to portray happiness? Grab the
mask with the big smile. Worry? Put on the one with furrowed brow. Not exactly
Academy Award material – but it was good enough for those in the cheap seats to catch
what was going on.
In Matthew 23, Jesus uses hypocrite multiple times. And in each case he links it with
another word - “Woe”, an expression of grief or denunciation; an interjection of horror;
alas, how dreadful. You don’t need to be a linguist to know you don’t want a woe
headed your way.
And the mask-wearers heard “woe” not once, not twice, but eight times. Do you think
they got the point? Do you think they realized that the One who identified Himself as
“The Truth” didn’t much appreciate those who were as false as Freddy Kruger? They
must have. How could anyone miss His message?
Two of these “woe to the hypocrite” condemnations are especially applicable to our look
at the Masquerade game – specifically verses 25-28. Both of these woes are directed
to those who fail to recognize the true inside condition while dinking around with the
externals.
“Woe to you …for you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they
are full of greed and self-indulgence.” (Matthew 23:25)
Session 2 - Masquerade LOOK IN – The Quest for True Identity
Surely there’s been a time when you’ve left your coffee cup out right before you left on
vacation? You come back days or weeks later to find a nice layer of some unknown
growth caked on the inside. We’re talking gross!
So can you imagine taking the cup over to the sink, taking a dishrag and giving just the
outside a little touch up, while leaving that slimy glob of mold on the inside untouched?
That’s the image of the hypocrite. So concerned with the outside, but failing to clean
the inside – where it really matters.
But instead of mold, Jesus identifies what was inside. It’s full of “greed and self-
indulgence.” There’s a desire for more and more. There is a drive for selfish
consumption. An ugly heart grows with an insatiable hunger to feed self. Not so
appetizing. More, more, more and never enough. Mask wearer, you’ve got an ugly
mess in your cup!
But let’s pull this self-indulgent condition closer to shore where most of us guys feed.
Are you able to say “no” to stuff and self? Really? How many pens or putters do you
own? How many bottles of wine? How many vacations are enough? How many wings,
donuts, cookies, fancy coffees? How many hunting or fishing trips? Are you free and
quick to offer your “stuff” to others? Are you a giver and sharer? It’s always so easy to
point an accusing finger at those ol’ Pharisees. But on closer examination, they are
surprisingly so much like us. And regrettably we are so much like them.
The other “woe to the hypocrite” statement is closely related. Only this one is directed
to those who are like white-wash tombs.
“Woe to you…for you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear
beautiful, but within are full of dead peoples bones and all uncleanness. So you
also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and
lawlessness.” (Matthew 23:27-28)
Session 2 - Masquerade LOOK IN – The Quest for True Identity
Now this needs a little cultural setting. For the Jewish mind, coming in contact with the
dead was a complete no-no. If it somehow happened, you were considered “unclean”
for a period of seven days and would have to undergo an extensive cleansing ritual
(See Numbers 19). In order to avoid having any accidental contact with a tomb, these
places of burial would be white-washed with a lime powder substance so they would
stand out as a warning for the Jews to stay clear.
Jesus comes along to point the finger at the hypocrite and says, you put caution tape on
the outside of the tomb, but you take up residence inside with the rotting corpse. Woe!
Do these woes get your attention too? Don’t you think if Jesus paid such attention to
the mask-wearer that we should too? This Masquerade is serious stuff. It’s “woe”
intense. So let me commend you for taking it seriously.
It’s my belief that most guys have had enough. Especially those of us who are old
enough to know better. We’ve accumulated enough battle scars to realize that the
masks haven’t worked. But what is the answer? If our identity isn’t found in the
Bedroom, Ball Field, Billfold, Bullring, or Blindfold – where is it found? And how can we
find it?
There’s hope. We’ve got an answer. And the answer isn’t just another mask that will
simply cover up the problem. We’ve got a real, genuine, authentic, practical and useful
answer. And the answer is found by answering this one most important question:
“How does God see me?” If a man can truthfully answer that question, it changes
everything!
Are you ready to pursue the truth of who we really are – in God’s eyes and to end the
Masquerade game? If so, then let me give you a big challenge that most will ignore,
sluff off or refuse. The challenge is to take the next step and actively, personally
explore the truthfulness of God’s Word and apply it to your life. You can do this by
completing the “LOOK IN” portion of each lesson.
Session 2 - Masquerade LOOK IN – The Quest for True Identity
“LOOK IN” is divided into two main sections. The first section contains questions
designed for either group interaction, or personal reflection. Record your response.
Something productive happens when we are forced to put our thoughts onto paper. A
written response brings clarity.
The second section is designed for you to get into God’s Word and allow God’s Word to
get into you. That’s where the real power to transform a mask-wearer originates. So
use it! Look up the scriptures that are given. Spend some time thinking about what
God has revealed and ask Him to use His Spirit to shine understanding to each word
and phrase. Don’t just rush through each passage!
Let me provide three actions that seldom happen when we open the Bible – meditate,
observe, ponder. If we can put our mind to these actions we’ll be amazed at what
happens, from the inside out.
Do you remember our theme verse? “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new
creature; the old things passed away; behold new things have come.” 2 Corinthians
5:17. This marks the start of something new. It’s time to take off the masks! And let’s
vow never to return to The Men’s Masquerade Shop! It’s had enough of our business.
LOOK IN
• Which of the five masks do you feel has the strongest influence on your identity? Why?
• How conscious are you of the masks you wear?
Session 2 - Masquerade LOOK IN – The Quest for True Identity
• How do these myths make their way into your life and your roles as a husband, father,
worker, leader and friend? • What specific problems and pains have you encountered with the masquerade?
Read Psalm 32 (if you have different translations read from each). “Blessed” is the idea of finding happiness, true happiness - the kind of happiness that is not found anywhere else, but in God. Where is this happiness found (see verses 1-2)? How might there be deceit in your spirit (verse 2)? How is this deceit tied to the word picture of “The Masquerade”? What type of pain did David (the author of this Psalm) experience as a result of his masquerade? (see verses 3-4) Have you ever experienced that sort of pain? When? What was the cause? A necessary step in ending the Masquerade game is to acknowledge that it exists and that each of us has been a mask-wearer. What does Psalm 32: 5-7 say about this acknowledgement process? There’s only one place where we should hide. Read about this place in the following Psalms. In your own words record the difference it would make if we could hide here instead of behind the other false masks of masculinity that we’ve discussed.