PROTECT OUR FUTURE PEACE AND CIVIC EDUCATION PROJECT: PEACE EDUCATION MANUAL For SCHOOLS

Pa

ge1

CENTRE FOR HUMAN DEVELOPMENT & SOCIAL TRANSFORMATIO N (CHDST)

PROTECT OUR FUTURE PEACE AND CIVIC EDUCATION PROGRA MME

PEACE EDUCATION MANUAL

For

SCHOOLS IN NIGERIA

Centre for Human Development & Social Transformation (CHDST)

10b Isaac Boro Street, Old GRA, Port Harcourt

Project Coordinator: Mr. Imoh Colins Edozie +234-8075464618

[email protected]

August 2009

This manual is developed through the generous support of

Pa

ge2

AN ELEPHANT AND THE BLIND MEN

Once upon a time, there lived six blind men in a village. One day the villagers told them, "Hey,

there is an elephant in the village today." They had no idea what an elephant is. They decided,

"Even though we would not be able to see it, let us go and feel it anyway." All of them went

where the elephant was. Every one of them touched the elephant.

"Hey, the elephant is a pillar," said the first man who touched his leg.

"Oh, no! it is like a rope," said the second man who touched the tail.

"Oh, no! it is like a thick branch of a tree," said the third man who touched the trunk of the elephant. "It is like a big hand fan" said the fourth man who touched the ear of the elephant. "It is like a huge wall," said the fifth man who touched the belly of the elephant.

"It is like a solid pipe," Said the sixth man who touched the tusk of the elephant.

They began to argue about the elephant and everyone of them insisted that he was right. It looked

like they were getting agitated. A wise man was passing by and he saw this. He stopped and

asked them, "What is the matter?" They said, "We cannot agree to what the elephant is like."

Each one of them told what he thought the elephant was like. The wise man calmly explained to

them, "All of you are right. The reason every one of you is telling it differently because each one

of you touched the different part of the elephant. So, actually the elephant has all those features

what you all said."

"Oh!" everyone said. There was no more fight. They felt happy that they were all right.

Pa

ge3

"…It is only the story that can continue beyond the war and the warrior.

It is the story that outlives the sound of war-drums and the exploits of brave fighters.

It is the story...that saves our progeny from blundering like blind beggars

into the spikes of the cactus fence.

The story is our escort; without it, we are blind.

Does the blind man own his escort? No, neither do we the story;

rather it is the story that owns us and directs us."

--Chinua Achebe, Anthills of the Savannah (1987)

"I will tell you something about stories....They aren't just entertainment...

They are all we have...to fight off illness and death.

You don't have anything if you don't have the stories."

--Leslie Marmon Silko, epigraph to Ceremony (1977)

Traditionally, Africans have revered good stories and storytellers, as have most past and present

peoples around the world who are rooted in oral cultures and traditions. Ancient writing

traditions do exist on the African continent, but most Africans today, as in the past, are primarily

oral peoples, and their art forms are oral rather than literary.

African proverbs and stories draw upon the collective wisdom of oral peoples… thus serves important social and ethical purposes: "The story itself is a primary form of the oral tradition,

primary as a mode of conveying culture, experience, and values and as a means of transmitting knowledge, wisdom, feelings, and attitudes in oral societies"

(Obiechina, "Narrative Proverbs in the African Novel").

A CROW perishing with thirst saw a pitcher, and hoping to find water, flew to it with delight. When he reached it, he discovered to his grief that it contained so little water that he could not possibly get at it. He tried everything he could think of to reach the water, but

all his efforts were in vain. At last he collected as many stones as he could carry and dropped them one by one with his beak into the pitcher, until he brought the water within

his reach and thus saved his life. –This story can serve various functions like: CREATIVITY IN SOLVING PROBLEMS. LOOKING FOR ALTERNA TIVES.

Pa

ge4

TABLE OF CONTENTS

In the moment of crises the wise person build bridges and the foolish person build dams.

Nigeria Proverb

Introduction: Page 6

• Introduction to Protect our Future Project • Role of Teachers • Introduction to Manual • Users Guide • Manual Division • Users Guide

Task 1: Know thyself Page 16

• Exercise on Identity

Task2: What Is Conflict? Page 20

• Common Understanding of Conflicts • Types and Levels of Conflict • Conflict in Schools • Analyzing Conflict • Dealing with Conflicts • Conflict Handling Styles

Task 3: Approaches to dealing with conflicts Page 39

• Conflict Prevention • Conflict Management • Conflict Resolution • Conflict Transformation • Three Strategies of Conflict Resolution (Power, Rights, Interests)

Task 4: What is Peace? Page 50

• What is Peace? .

Task 5: What is Peace Education? Page 54

• Importance of Peace Education • Methodology

Task 6: What Is Mediation? Page 60

Pa

ge5

• Stages in Mediation • Points for Mediators

Task 7: Peer Mediation Page 65

• Process in Setting up a Peer Mediation Team • Peer Mediator selection • Peer Mediation Beliefs • Peer Mediation Process • Peer Mediation Example • Points to Remember in Peer Mediation

Task 8: Skills for Dealing with Conflict Page 77

• Communication Skills • Non-Verbal Communication • Types of Non-verbal Communications • Reframing • Skills in Reframing • Common Ground Statements • Listening Skills • Dealing with Anger • Prejudice and Stereotype

Task 9: Strategies for Non violence

This session was developed in collaboration with students of George Mason University and the

International Centre for Non Violence. It is not included in this work submitted to EMU.

Task 10: Concluding Thoughts! Page 93

Tips for Telling Stories

Stories

Reference Page 117

Pa

ge6

Story List Page 94 - 116 Story 1: A Blind Man Catches a Bird

Story 2: Water Not Wine: A Tale from Africa and China

Story 3: The Monk and the Samurai

Story 4: Not Our Problem: A Tale from Burma and Thailand

Story 5: The Farmer and the Angel

Story 6: The Tiger's whisker

Story 7: A Caterpillar's Voice

Story 8: The Teacher and the Three Disciples

Story 9: What is Peace? By Arun Gandhi

Story 10: The North Wind and the Sun

Story 11: Two Roads Overcame the Hyena

Story 12: The Two Cold Rodents (with Quills and Spines)

Story 13: The Boy and the Filberts

Story 14: The Mouse, the Frog, and the Hawk

Story 15: The Lion and the Boar

Story 16: Origin of Death Myth of the Chameleon and the Lizard

Story 17: The Community of Rats

Story 18: The Fisherman Piping

Story 19: The Wolf and the Lamb

Story 20: The Labourer and the Snake

Story 21: The Piglet, the Sheep, and the Goat

Story 22: The Man and the Lion

Story 23: How the Monkeys Saved the Fish

Story 24: The Donkey and the Small dog

Story 25: The Three Tradesmen

Story 26: The Widow and Her Little Maidens

Story 27: The Gamecocks and the Partridge

Story 28: The Father and His Two Daughters

Story 29: The Donkey and His Shadow

Story 30: The Story of the Rainbow

Story 31: The Cracked Pot

Pa

ge7

Introduction – Protect our Future Peace Project

The history of democratic rule and peaceful coexistence in Nigeria has been that of conflict,

violence and coup d’etat. Nigeria has witnessed series of military coup, from 1966 till 29th May

1999 with a short spell of democratic government from 1979 to 1983. The expectations of the

people have not been met, there is gloom in the land and there is nothing to celebrate. The

experience so far in this democratic era has not given room for celebration. The April 2003

elections were marred by violence including political assassinations and claims of election

manipulation and rigging. The 2007 election was not better and all the evils of the 2003 election

were perpetuated in greater levels.

The society is still plagued by the attitude that “might is right” towards settling of disputes and

leadership sytle. This can be attributed to the legacies of long military rule and general failure of

leadership. The situation is critical with the unrest and kidnappings. The kidnappings started with

the victims been expatriates oil workers. However, now nobody is spared: politicians, traditional

rulers, local oil workers, even children.

It is within this concept that the ‘Protect our Future’ Project was developed. It is meant to chart a

new beginning to reverse the various undemocratic political practices in Nigeria which has

combined and contributed to the deterioration of traditional values and structure. This has created

a situation, in which the Nigerian people do not believe that democracy is possible, neither are

they able to envision credible alternatives. There is then a growing sense of disillusionment

among the populace and a growing cycle of violence. This has led to unprecedented ethnic and

religious violence. The country’s integration and corporate existence is threatened and raises

questions about the ability of the country to survive. Nigerians now see themselves as members

of ethnic groups instead of citizens of a country. Consequently, there is a shift from community

values and thus the collective aspirations of the people of Nigeria are being abandoned.

Pa

ge8

The desire for change and transformation led the Centre for Human Development and Social

Transformation (CHDST) to conduct research to determine student behaviours. The result

showed that students were prone to act in a violent way at the least provocation instead of

respecting and allowing the rule of law to take its place (CHDST, 2005). CHDST therefore

developed the programme that specifically target young persons. Youth form a significant

majority of the population of Nigeria (The United Nations Human Development index estimated

the population below 15 years to be about 46% of the total population). It is obvious that students

who are presently in secondary school have no experience of a democratic culture. They do not

know what is expected of them and neither do they know what they can expect. It is necessary to

have a program to educate the students on their civic responsibility and how to live peacefully.

Students, being part of the society, are affected by the situation. The average age of students in

the secondary schools is 10-17 years. The project is based on the premise that if students / youths

who form a significant majority of the population know their right and cultivate a culture of

democracy and skills of living peacefully, they will be a powerful voice in sustaining democratic

values and a culture of peace. It is an invaluable way to safeguard the future. The strategy is to

train teachers in both primary and secondary schools, who in turn will assist in training students

on a culture of peace. The desire is that this peace education project given in schools will have an

effect in the wider community. The project aims to contribute significantly at this critical

juncture of building a democratic culture among the young aspiring citizens of Nigeria. The way

to sustain democracy in Nigeria is to train the future leaders and their teachers. Make them

appreciate and believe in democracy by internalizing it as their strategy of hope for the future.

One of the strategies of the project is the formation of peace club in schools and the holding of

annual peace camp. The camp provides an atmosphere of friendship and interaction in which

peace education and conflict resolution are taught. The session considers the four values of

education: learn to know, learn to do, learn to be and learn to live peacefully. The participatory

approach is used and teachers who are already trained assist in the training of the students in the

summer camp. The trainings involve a range of interactive activities, workshops and role-play.

The peace camp is not a brainwashing exercise but rather one in which the enthusiasm in the

participant is awaken for a different way of looking at the world and humanity. Therefore it is

Pa

ge9

not only about imparting “information” or a new “model” which sits in their heads. Much more

importantly, it is about bringing them to an experience in their own being, within their own souls

of what its like when you leave behind the world of ‘survival of the fittest’; “might is right” and

enter into a world of mutual support and recognition and acceptance of the other. To this end

their thinking ability – their world of feelings – their creativity – their humour – their will – their

own vulnerability – their strengths – shall be engaged and given expression. There will be games

in which there are no losers; team games where they have to depend on each other to complete

the course.

For example: You cannot teach a person trust by telling them about it. But you can play a game

in which one person is blindfolded and another must hold his shoulders from behind and guide

him as he boldly walks about so that he doesn’t fall or walk into anything. Or he can stand up

and fall backwards where his guide catches him and stops him from being hurt. Or he can stand

on a table blindfolded and fall forward off the table where eight of his peers catch him. Then the

partners swap roles until everyone has experienced all three games blindfolded. Then they talk

about how it was for them – what they experienced – emotions – likes and dislikes. These are

powerful experiences and when you then talk about trust and what it makes possible in society

and relationship, they have already experienced what you’re talking about.

It is also vital that the teachers, who are involved in educating the student, be aware of the

techniques of peace education and civic awareness and to assist the students in living this culture.

It is imperative that students appreciate and believe in culture of peace by internalizing it as their

strategy of hope for the future. The students trained will form a network of “peace clubs” in

various schools to continue to share ideas and to involve more students in the training.

The manual is a component of the programme it compliments and is a strategy for the attainment

of the goal of the project; some of the activities in the camp will be in the manual. The purpose

of the manual is to provide a document that the students can use in the various peace clubs. The

manual will enhance knowledge and skills sharing of peace building and conflict transformation.

Pa

ge1

0

It emphases values needed for the building and attainment of a just and peaceful society. The

manual uses stories to illustrate this concept. Forest, H. (1996) stated that stories are powerful

tools in the learning process; it can be used for personal reflection and over time can take root

that can lead to transformation.

Role of Teachers

Educating the future leaders of Nigeria is a collective responsibility of parents, teachers, pupils

and all other adults in a community. It is a partnership to ensure that children can live peacefully

with themselves, their fellow students and the community.

The task of the teachers is to help students learn the basic skills of living peacefully. It is

important that we recognize the changing role of teachers in our educational institutions. How

can we assist the teachers to help the students to exercise their rights and live peacefully in the

society?

The framework for interaction can be like the diagram below adapted from UNICEF (2004).

This diagram shows the interrelationship between the learning environment, the teachers, the

materials and what is taught. The student is at the centre and what impact these factors have on

the student shapes their future as well as the role and contribution of the parents and the

community.

Pa

ge1

1

Introduction to Manual

In the continuous search for peace in the world and more especially in the African continent,

scholars have posited various methods through which this can be attained. Chiefly amongst them

is inculcating the culture of peace in the citizenry. This is because conflicts are not caused by

abstract beings, but by individuals. While it may be difficult to change the ingrained culture of

adults, it should be easier to change the mind set of young learners. The cliché, ‘you cannot teach

an old dog new tricks’ is therefore apt. In order to build a culture of peace, those working in and

around peace movements must target the young ones even from the cradle. This of course does

not mean that we can still not change the mind set of adults – it will eventually change especially

where they notice that their children exhibit a different, more peaceful attitude about relationship

and life in general. Targeting the youth, therefore, will be performing many purposes. These

include grooming future leaders to always bear a peaceful attitude in their interactions with one

another. The other is to build a generation of peace-loving people so as to eliminate violent

conflicts in our societies thereby ensuring that the effects of conflict are eliminated. Thirdly, this

will have a spiraling effect in the society and the attitude of adults towards conflict will be

affected positively.

The mobility of labour in various parts of the world including Nigeria means that most people

work outside their place of origin or outside their ethnic communities. This movement of parents

also involves their children. Therefore, the characteristics of the school over the years have

changed. Students come from different social, political, economic and religious families. They

come with different worldviews and persuasions. The orientation and attitude in the family are

brought into the school environment and shape their actions in schools. This unique composition

of the schools make schools an interesting and complex place prone to different kinds of

conflicts. This is the case in the society; we should therefore not expect schools to be different.

Most times the conflicts among students have nothing to do with the school or its activities.

Therefore conflicts need to be accepted as part of our everyday life. Conflict should be

appreciated and transformed as opportunities for growth and development for all involved.

Pa

ge1

2

The baseline studies conducted in schools showed that the basis of conflict resolution in schools

is vested in the disciplinary structures, whereby conflict is seen as a break in the established

school order. The method of resolving it therefore lies in restoring order by punishing the

offender. This method does not address the root causes of the conflict nor does it build better

friendship among the parties. There is therefore a need to look at alternatives. The teachers and

school authorities are very busy people, therefore there is need to empower student to be peer

mediators to help each other. It is expected that the whole school will therefore be turned into a

democratic and peaceful environment with the teachers and school authorities involved.

Users Guide

The development of the peace manual for the ‘Protect our Future’ project is to support the

learning of peace education in the peace clubs and possibly introduction to the community. The

peace clubs are places of friendship and solidarity. It is in the schools that peace education and

conflict resolution will be practiced, with the intention that it will have multiplier effect in the

communities. This manual acts as a guide for teachers in peace education. While it is advisable

to read and understand the contents before proceeding, when making use of the manual, the

teacher is encouraged to use stories and practical examples that the students would easily connect

with. For instance, if a particular programme is located in the northern part of Nigeria, the

teacher is encouraged to use stories and examples that originate in the traditional Hausa/Fulani

folklore to explain the different concepts that the students might find difficult to understand if

left in an abstractive formulae. Teachers are also encouraged to make the class as interactive as

possible. This means that all the students would have to participate in role playing so as to

enliven the study and let the lessons sink home.

Stories are means of instruction, when students listen to the following stories and reflect on them

through the guidance of a facilitator (Sande, 1997). They will become sensitive and imbibe the

lessons of peaceful living and conflict transformation. The concept of protecting our future

entails a deep empathy for our fellow human beings as members of one community. Through

these stories and the manual we hope to encourage youths to be mindful of their behaviours and

Pa

ge1

3

seek ways of peaceful behaviors. The students will be able to learn songs which might

accompany the stories and will also be taught to be creative in introducing other songs or stories.

Reflection & Action:

We expect the facilitator to lead the students through a reflection. The questions below should

act as a guide, but the facilitator should be able to develop appropriate guides.

• Discuss the main points of the story told in relation to the theme (state the theme)

discussed?

• Develop and put yourself in the story. What part do you see yourself playing if you are

an actor in the story?

• Reflect on your feelings about the story.

• Describe the main actors of the stories and their various roles.

• Compose and present a song about story themes.

• Ask the students to write the words that the main theme of the day means to them. Let the

students explain what they feel and think in their own words.

• Let the students think of a time, they might have been in such situation?

If there is time you might want to divide the students into group to discuss their feelings

• Let them discuss their experience either in a group or 2 or 3 depending on the situation.

Any member of the group can then present his or her feeling.

The teacher and the students are encouraged to keep a reflective journal. This is where the

students and teachers can record their experiences and more importantly their thoughts,

experience, analysis and reactions to those experiences. The teacher should insist that EVERY

MEMBER OF THE PEACE CLUB SHOULD HAVE A JOUNAL OR NO TEBOOK!

Peace builders should be reflective practitioners.

We as Africans believe that humans are not necessary evil. We all want to live peacefully.

However, when people from different social, economic, ethnic, religious orientations are

Pa

ge1

4

together, there is bound to be some misunderstanding. In resolving these disputes, everyone

wants to get something, and believes that others are standing in the way. In most cases emotions

run high, we ask ourselves, are we respected, and are we heard. It is in human nature for one to

feel respected and safe. If in the process of looking at the problem and striving for a solution,

people feel threatened or discounted, they are less likely to accept the decisions. It is therefore

vital that we examine the procedure through which we take decisions. In most cases when people

do not get favourable decisions, appreciating how the decision was made and believing that it

was fair, and they were provided an opportunity to present their side of the story, produces some

sense of satisfaction. In this manual and in the peace club, we will endeavor to practice these

principles.

The manual is therefore structured into eight sessions or tasks. The expected duration should be

60 minutes. The animator can structure the sessions as necessary the key is flexibility and ability

to adopt based on the reality in the school or community. However, a schedule can as follows:

• 5 Minutes: Introduction & Story telling

• 15 minutes: Reflection on the story

• 15 Minutes: Discussion of theme and underlining theory or principle

• 15 Minutes: Exercises and Activities based on the Theme

• 10 minutes: Debriefing and Closing

The manual will enhance knowledge and skills sharing of peace building and conflict

transformation. It seeks to build on the feeling and experience of the students as they practice

the activities in the manual which will lead to transformation. Therefore there are three key

aspect of the manual.

1. Story Telling

2. Exercises and Activities

3. Theory and Knowledge Sharing

This division of each session conforms to our understanding of the four values of education:

learn to know, learn to do, learn to be and learn to live peacefully. There are various stories and

exercises which the facilitator is free to decide which story is best suited for the themes to be

discussed. We expect feedback from teachers on what works and does not work well.

Pa

ge1

5

Manual Division

The manual is further divided into nine tasks. The first Task explores some exercises on how the

participants can discover their true self. It is generally acknowledged that peace building starts

from within. There is the need to appreciate how we react or perceive and see the world. This is

followed by Task two which deals with our understanding of conflict. It deals with the concept

of conflict. The emphasis will be that conflict is a natural phenomenon which can happen at any

time and place. It is our reaction to conflict that determines if it is positive or negative. The

cause of conflict is examined. Task three examines various reactions to conflict with emphasis

that our reactions might be based on various factors. The concept of power is examined as well

as rights and interests. Task four answers the question drawing from various sources: Is peace

the absence of war or violence? It concludes that peace is possible and attainable with discipline.

The case for the introduction of peace education in schools was motivated for in Task five. The

use of third part in conflict situation is introduced in Task Six. It lays out the importance and

how it can be practiced. The various stages in the process are explained, while Task seven

explains peer mediation drawing from various experiences. Task eight is conceived as a tool kit.

It introduces different tools of peace building. The manual concludes with Task nine which

introduces the concept of non violence and strategies on how students can take various actions to

change situations in their community. We felt that this will be a perfect conclusion to the manual.

It is a process where student can reflect and take actions for change. This session was developed

in collaboration with students of George Mason University and the International Centre for Non

Violence. It will not be included in the work to be submitted to EMU.

Thank you and we hope that collectively we shall be able to protect our future. Please send all

your comments to:

Imoh Colins Edozie;

Centre for Human Development and Social Transformation.

House 13, IZZI Estate, 312 Aba Road, P.O.Box 6040, Port Harcourt, Nigeria.

Email: [email protected]

August 2009

Pa

ge1

6

Everyone has dignity! Everyone deserve respect! Conflict is a part of our everyday live!! To appreciate conflict in our lives we need to learn

skills to resolve them

Task 1: KNOW THYSELF

Socrates centuries ago stated “know thy self”. However, it has been argued that the statement

was actually written at the entrance of the temple of Delphi, therefore not originally Socrates.

The use of this concept implies the importance of understanding ourselves as human and our

behavior. This helps in controlling behaviors like anger, negative emotions / habits, fears,

sadness, doubt, etc. therefore leading to a profound understanding of others. It might be assumed

that we are all different, but a careful study of ourselves shows that we have a lot in common.

Once we understand ourselves, we can then begin to question our assumptions about other

persons, this leads to a reduction and elimination of our bias and prejudices. The beginning of the

study of peace building is therefore a deep reflection of who we are and our relationship to

others. The perception of differences between persons can be a source of conflict. Most of the

recent conflict in the world is a question of identity. Therefore the ability to appreciate

differences and recognize our worldview / bias can be a step towards respecting differences and

achieving peace (USIP, 2001). We therefore need to ask the question:

• Who am I?

• How do I identify myself?

• How do others identify me?

Aim

� This section seeks to bring into focus the way individual identity can affect our views on

conflict.

� To show that people are more alike than they are different

� Show that people have many sides to their identity

� It also introduces the students to managing disagreements at the primary level and how to

reach a common understanding.

� Recognise the role identity play in shaping world view

� Promotes self awareness, which helps participants understand how they see the world.

Pa

ge1

7

Exercise 1.1

Materials: Pens, pencils, cut up papers, flip chart and marker pens.

Participants:

� The whole class should be involved in this exercise. Each student is to answer the

following question in writing. They can write as many as five answers. However,

encourage them to write in short phrases and no long sentences.

� Since students might not be courageous enough to speak publicly, do not call for oral

answers. Given them time to think it through and then put down their answers. Encourage

the students that there are no right or wrong answers.

Question: Who am I?

Procedure:

� At the end of the writing, collect all written answers and depending on the time available,

read through all answers. If however, time is at a premium, select one of each student’s

answers and read it out.

� Pick a student who will assist you in writing the different answers on the flip chart.

Remember, short phrases.

� After the reading and writing down of answers, go through each answer with the students

and try to find out where there is a general consensus on identity.

� Note those answers that were generally agreed on and those that there were objected to.

� Encourage the students to speak up and state reasons why they disagreed with some of

the answers. Guide them through and moderate their reasoning, until a consensus is

reached.

� After the exercise, tell students that they have just passed the first test of avoiding

conflict by negotiating to reach a common understanding of self.

Pa

ge1

8

Exercise 1.2

� Call out a group from the list of identities and ask all who belong to that group to stand

up and all seated clap for those in the group standing.

� Pick the next group from the list and continue in the same way as above.

� Ask participants to name any other identity that is not present in the list.

� Ask reflection time questions

Reflection Time Questions:

• How did you feel about doing the exercise?

• Did we feel uncomfortable about our identities? Which? Why?

• How do you feel discussing it?

List of Identities

• Boy - Girl

• Snorer – non snorer

• Sport lover – non sport lover

• Town – village upbringing

• Left handed – right handed

• Swimmer – non swimmer

• Muslim/ Christian/ traditional religion/ other religion

• Eldest in family, middle, youngest

How do I identify myself?

• By name?

• By family?

• By location of where I live?

• By location where my parents are from?

Pa

ge1

9

• By ethnic community?

• By religion?

• By Age?

• By gender?

• By Language?

• By parent economic status?

Exercise 1.3

Let participants in various groups of identity discuss:

• Share a story about a time when each felt proud / happy to be a member of a group

• Share a story about a time when it was a challenge or difficult to be a member of a group.

* This exercises are adopted from ECREA 2002 , Neal, K, et al (2009), USIP 2001

Pa

ge2

0

People are problem solvers, all they need is an opportunity to communicate and find solutions to their problems!

Task 2: WHAT IS CONFLICT?

Conflict is part of a social process by which people, groups, and states adjust their different and

changing interests, capabilities, and wills. It is both a manifestation of a breakdown in social

expectations and a means by which new expectations can be formed. Through conflict, social

order is established and adjusted. More specifically, whether between individuals or groups,

within or between states, conflict manifests a trial-and-error adaptation among subjective,

individual worlds. It establishes a balance of powers--an interlocking equilibrium--between what

we want, can get, and will pursue.

-Rummel, R.J. (1981)

Life could be boring if we all think and act alike. They will be less creativity. This creativity can

lead to differences which lead to conflict. We might feel uncomfortable, nervous, worried about

the situation, but it is a natural phenomena. It can lead to opportunities of growth. This task

explores the various dynamics of conflict. As stated by Rummel, R.J. (1981) conflict is a process

of interactions within a social process. It is the struggle and adjustment to achieve growth.

Aim

� This section would enable us to understand what is meant by conflict and its different

elements.

� To understand that conflict can be negative or positive.

� To understand certain elements that may trigger conflict.

� To understand how to handle conflicts when we are faced with it.

Common Understanding of Conflicts

� Conflict at every level involves social interactions between two or more people.

Pa

ge2

1

� Conflict occurs where there is disagreement over a particular subject matter and the

individuals cannot by themselves reach a compromise situation.

� This disagreement may be over perceived or actual goals, values or interests. For instance,

in our exercise on identity above, if we did not eventually arrive at a compromise on how

we identify ourselves, this might be the existence of conflict of ideas.

� Most times, conflict develops out of accusations and counter accusations. It might also

develop out of actions and counter actions.

� Conflict can be seen as an agent of change. It is therefore an indication that something is

changing, has changed or needs to be changed. In this case, conflict can also be positive.

� At the primary level, conflicts can be non violent with a tendency of escalating to

violence.

Types and Levels of Conflict

There are various levels where conflict can occur. This can be within us or between external

parties. When it is external it can between various actors. These could be groups, state,

institutions, etc. the figure below shows the types and layers of conflict.

� Interpersonal Conflict – Conflict between two individuals at a personal level.

Example: Chidi and Ifeoma are siblings and they attend the same school. Chidi is two

years older than Ifeoma, however, they are in the same class as Chidi had to lose a class

due to their parents loss of income at a point. The two are supposed to share the

household chores on alternate days. However, Chidi insists that since he is the senior one,

he should be exempt from doing household chores. This therefore has affected the

relationship he has with the sister.

� Intergroup Conflict – Conflict between different groups, not necessarily government

agencies.

Example: In the commercial city of Onitsha, the registered Onitsha Market Amalgamated

Traders Association (OMATA) and a new group calling itself Onitsha Traders

Association are fighting over which of the group has the legitimate claim to collect rates

from stall owners in the Onitsha Main Market.

Pa

ge2

2

� Intra State Conflict – Conflict within a state mostly between a reactionary/rebel

group and the government.

Example: The Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta has taken up arms

against Nigeria asking that it suspends all oil exploration in the Niger Delta. The Nigerian

government in response has deployed military troops to militarily engage with the group

in the Niger Delta. This has led to civilian displacements and deaths.

� Inter State Conflict – Conflict between states.

Example: The Bakassi Peninsula, an area that is rich in oil and other natural resources

was the subject of conflict between Nigeria and Cameroon. Notwithstanding the maturity

exhibited by both countries, lives were lost at the area due to military skirmishes between

the soldiers of both countries. Eventually, the matter was adjudicated upon by the

International Court of Justice that awarded the area of dispute to Cameroon.

Exercise 2.1 -Conflicts in School: Conflict Transformation Skills Building

Aim: The aim of this activity is to help students understand the positive nature of conflict.

Prepare: flipchart paper, markers and pictures of Chinese hieroglyphs which correspond to the

meaning of the notion defined as conflict in most countries.

Part A Brainstorm

Materials: Flip chart and marker pens.

Participants

� The whole group will be involved.

� Ask students to say in one word, what they associate with conflict once they hear term.

� The word “conflict” is written in a circle and students write down the words that comes to

their mind around the circle.

� When the class exhausts all their ideas.

� Evaluate the ideas individually with the students and put them into different columns of

positive and negative.

Pa

ge2

3

� If the negative outweighs the positive, which is very likely, ask them to think of the

positive sides to conflict.

� Write them down under the positive column.

� If they cannot think of any positive side to conflict, you can use the following story to try

to elucidate your point:

Part B Analysis

The teacher mark each of suggested variants in black or red colour regarding to the character of

feelings (negative or positive) this association rises in participants. Usually, the student gives

more negative associations than positive.

The teacher interprets the results in the following way – more often we associate the word

conflict with those methods and ways, which we and people around us choose to resolve this

conflict. And in reality it is not a conflict. Conflict is a clash of contradictory interests of the

parties.

Example:

o A group of students in the boarding house have been complaining that the school

authority does not feed them well. In fact, at the height of their complaint, the school

hostel master bought a brand new Mercedes Benz car. The students saw that as a

confirmation to their suspicion that the house master has been diverting the funds meant

for their feeding to his private use. They decided to go on a rampage in school and in the

process of the demonstrations, the police were called and they got arrested. On being

charged to court, they stated their reasons for the demonstrations. The Schools

Management Board decided to investigate the allegations levelled against the house

master. During the course of the investigation, it was revealed that the house master never

diverted the funds for their feeding. It was further revealed that the problem of under

feeding was from the schools management board itself, as it did not have the correct

number of students in the hostel and hence, it under funds the school. The panel therefore

Pa

ge2

4

recommended that the school feeding funds be increased and the students eventually got

better feeding.

Ask them to identify the positive sides of the conflict

� Increased fund allocation for feeding

Ask them to identify the cause of the conflict

� Under feeding of the students

� The perception that the house master was diverting their funds

� His acquisition of a brand new Mercedes Benz

Ask them if the perceptions were real or not

The teacher interprets the results in the following way – more often we associate the word

conflict with those methods and ways, which we and people around us choose to resolve this

conflict. And in reality it is not a conflict. Conflict is a clash of contradictory interests of the

parties. Offer to the participants to compare their own understanding of conflict.

Conflicts in School: Conflict Transformation Skills Building

The teacher should encourage the students to participate in this discussion. The teacher asks the

students to give examples of conflicts they faced in their home or in the class. The teacher should

ask the student to name clearly the parties of the conflict and the subject of disagreement (what is

the cause of the conflict).

From the list of examples given, the teacher will be able to select several examples to design a

role play.

Analysing Conflicts

Aim

� To enable the students understand the intricate nature of conflicts.

Pa

ge2

5

� To critically deconstruct the causes of conflict, the parties involved and identification of

their interests.

� To understand the different stages of conflict in order to know how to approach conflict

situations.

� A good understanding of the above provides the students with the necessary tools with

which they can engage in resolving conflicts either as mediators or facilitators.

Conflict Analysis

To be able to effectively deal with a given conflict situation, the conflict need to be thoroughly

analysed. This means that we need to understand the story involved. Every conflict consists of a

story. Each of the parties to a conflict has their own truth. None of the truth is wrong. It is how

they perceive the conflict. Listen to the story and try to make sense out of it. In listening to the

story, you must identify the following:

� The Parties to the conflict;

� The issues involved in the conflict; and

� The root causes of the conflict.

Factors to Analyse

� Parties and their interrelationships – This will help ensure that all those directly or

indirectly involved are included in the resolution process. If any of the parties are left out,

this might lead to hitches in the resolution process. You must learn to separate parties into

primary, secondary and peripheral parties. This you do by making a list of all the people

whose names were mentioned in the story of the conflict.

• Primary parties are those directly involved in the conflict.

• Secondary parties are those that support the parties.

• Peripheral are those that most times stand to gain from the conflict.

� The interests and the needs of the parties – Once the needs are adequately identified,

then the best method towards resolving the conflict can be articulated. Sometimes, parties

fighting over a particular issue might even find it difficult to identify their needs. Try to

Pa

ge2

6

shift the parties towards focusing on needs instead of interests. Asking the following

questions will enable you to pinpoint the needs and interests:

• What exactly do you want? – This will identify the parties’ positions – preferences.

• Why do you want this? – This will help identify their interests.

� Position and Perceptions of the parties – Parties to a conflict might have different

perceptions of themselves or the other party/ies to the conflict. Understanding the

position and perception helps you to identify the choice or preferences a party would

make among a range of possible outcomes to a conflict.

� The role of power in the relationship – The element of power is always visible in all

social interactions. Identify these forms of power, eg. Physical, economic, political,

military and those that not so visible. Factor them into your analysis.

� Feelings and emotions of the parties – Since emotions are part of everyday social

interactions, they are naturally a part of conflict. Identify them and make sure that they do

not becloud the parties’ senses.

� Outside pressures on the parties: Since parties to conflicts do not exist by themselves,

you must be aware that they could easily be influenced by external forces. These external

forces may be political, social, economic or cultural. Sometimes, the external forces

could also be those who stand to benefit in one way or the other from the conflict.

The 3 Ps of Conflict Analysis1

Conflict can be examined within the confines of the 3 Ps in this model we strive to understand

the interplay between the people, the process and the problem. Caritas (2006) posits that the

people are those psychologically and emotional involved in the conflict. Questions to be asked:

• Who is involved in the conflict?

• Who are the primary parties involved?

• Who are the other parties?

• How does each group perceive the situation?

1 Adopted from Caritas(2006)

Pa

ge2

7

The next stage is to look at the process in which decisions will be taken in the situation. The

process can lead to acceptance or rejection. At times the perception that the process is faulty can

lead to its rejection. The issues in Question are the problem to be resolved or solved. The figures

below from Caritas (2006) explain the Who of conflict as well as the What of conflict. It

explains the interrelationship between parties in conflict as well as the effect of the conflict. In

most conflict situation the true nature of the conflict is latent and the external manifestation of

the conflict can not be used in solving the problem. In the various stories enclosed at the back of

the book, students are given the opportunity to look at the 3Ps in the context of the stories. As

well as identify the what in the conflict. The facilitator will lead in the discussion useing the 3

Ps

Figure 1 showing the various parties to a conflict

Tree Model

Conflict can be analyzed using the tree model. The concept is that conflict has three

manifestations: the root causes, the core problems and the effects of the conflict. This model

offers a good tool for community, group or organization to identify issues they feel important in

a conflict and those issues are categorized according to 1- core problems, 2- causes and 3- effects.

Pa

ge2

8

Figure 2: The Effect & Root Causes of Conflict

Exercise 2.2 Analysing Conflicts.

Participants:

� The whole class will be involved. However, you can divide the class into three different

groups. The First group will be tasked to identify the parties involved in the conflict. The

second group will identify the issues involved in the conflict. While the third group

identifies the root causes of the conflict.

� Materials: As is with the previous exercises, pens, cut up paper, flip chart and marker will

be used.

� You can use the story below or you can formulate any story that the students can relate to.

However, try to make the story simple at this stage so as not to over task the students.

The stories below are stratified according to the levels of conflict we identified earlier.

• Interpersonal Conflict – Ngozi and her best friend, Amarachi were admitted to study in

the University of Nssuka, Nigeria. However, while Ngozi was admitted to study

Medicine, Amarachi was admitted to study Microbiology. They went off to school

Pa

ge2

9

together and remained best of friends throughout their first year. In their second year of

study, Ngozi had to move over to the Enugu campus of the University as is the norm with

Medical studies in the university. They therefore were no longer seeing each other and

that affected how close they were. On holidays though, the two would get together and

catch up on lost times. This continued until they got to their third year. The third year

studies of Medicine have always being a very crucial period for most medical students as

they have to take their so called Second MB then. That took a toll on Ngozi’s ability to

socialise as much as she used to with Amarachi. Amarachi started to feel that Ngozi was

ignoring her as she was not studying medicine. She decided to confront Ngozi with the

accusation and Ngozi answered her that she does not have time to play around. This

therefore caused big rift in their friendship and they stopped talking to each other, thereby

terminating their friendship.

• Intergroup – The Peoples Movement Party (PMP) is a registered political party in

Akwansa State in Nigeria. However, the ruling party in that state is Chop I Chop Party

(CICP). The PMP distributed its party posters intimating the public of a public rally to be

held by it at Ngwo Park on a particular Thursday. As a budding party in the state, the

populace are beginning to gravitate towards it, especially since the CICP is yet to deliver

on its election promises notwithstanding that it has been in office for 12 years. The CICP

in a bid to destabilise the rally had also started distributing its posters for a rally on the

same day. It had also hired thugs to deface the posters earlier put up by the PMP. On the

day of the rally, the CICP thugs were on hand to dissuade people from attending the PMP

rally. This they did by threats of violence and actual violence. The PMP also brought in

its political thugs to enforce their right to Assembly. The thugs of the two groups engaged

in fighting.

• Intra State – A group called the Revolutionary Movement for Peace (RMP) has just

recently emerged in the sovereign state of Jaineria. The leaders of the group in a press

release on the 1st of October last year called attention to the decades of political,

economic and social marginalisation of the western states in the country. In the press

release, the RMP drew the attention of the public to the fact that none of its indigenes has

Pa

ge3

0

since independence has been in the position of authority in the country. They pointed out

that in the area of social and basic services no new development has been done by the

state since the colonial administration left. In the area of health services, they claimed

that the western states which is made up of three states with a population of about 15

million has only one specialist Hospital. The press release gave an ultimatum to the

government of Jaineria that they would take up arms if their demands of increased

developments are not met. A year after the press release, the RMP attacked government

installations in Wula area that is rich in oil. During the attack, twelve soldiers were killed.

The RMP in claiming responsibility for the attack promised that it would attack more

government installations if the government continues to ignore its request. The

government instead of responding to their demands, has sent military troops to the region

where there has been full scale fighting. This has continued for the rest of the year up till

the present.

• Inter State – The Nigerian government has just announced the discovery of a huge gold

deposit in Maiduguri around the international border with Chad Republic. In order to

secure the area especially from illegal miners, the government sent in army troops in the

place. Chad however is claiming the region where the gold deposit was discovered as

being in its part of the border. Chad equally sent its army troops to the region. Though

Nigeria has an established claim to the land due to its long use of the place, Chad insists

that it had allowed Nigeria use of the place before the colonial period when there were no

defined international border. It however never bothered to officially repudiate the

arrangement when the colonial administration was in Africa and hence that led to

Nigeria’s continuous use and administration of the place as its own. While Nigeria and

Chad were busy laying claims to the area, the government of Niger Republic has issued

its intention to challenge the claims of both Nigeria and Chad to the region. It insists that

the area in question belongs to Niger Republic and that Chad occupied the area in

illegally after an inter-tribal war between two different tribal groups that straddle the

Niger/Chad/Nigeria border. That ever since the illegal occupation, Niger had considered

the place as a part of its territory. Meanwhile, fighting just recently broke out between the

troops of Nigeria and Chad in the region.

Pa

ge3

1

Dealing with Conflicts

Aim

� This helps us understand the different ways individuals deal with conflict

Personal styles in dealing with conflict: Since conflict is part of humanity’s social interaction,

individuals have developed certain different styles of responding to situations of conflict. The

following serve as a pointer to different styles employed consciously or sub-consciously by

people to deal with conflicts. Competing - the goal is to win

• Avoiding - the goal is to delay

• Compromising - the goal is to find a middle ground

• Collaborating - the goal is to find a win-win situation

• Accommodating - the goal is to yield

� Competing – In this model, the individual seeks to win at all cost. The people that

practice this method assert themselves and do not cooperate as they pursue their own

concerns at other people’s expense. This model might be appropriate in the following

situations;

• Where an emergency looms

• When the individual is very sure that s/he is right. In this situation, being right matters

more than preserving the relationship

• The issue is trivial and others do not really care what happens.

However, the model is often inappropriate in the following situations:

• When an attempt at collaboration has not been made

• When working together as a team is very important

• When it becomes the rule rather than the exception.

• Where the self-respect of others is diminished needlessly.

Pa

ge3

2

Collaborating – The individual in this model seeks to make sure that the other party’s

interest is also taken into consideration. They are both assertive and cooperative. They assert

their own views but are willing to listen to the other parties. They welcome differences and

make effort to work with others in finding solutions to problems. This model might be

appropriate in the following situations;

• Where the issues and relationships are both significant.

• In a situation where cooperation is very important. For instance, if the subject matter of

the conflict needs to be preserved whole in order to be productive, the parties would need

to collaborate.

• A creative end is important.

• A reasonable hope exists to address all concerns.

However, the model is often inappropriate in the following situations:

• When time is short

• The issues are unimportant

• The goals of the other party are certainly unreachable and wrong.

� Compromise – The individual in this model does not want to win all. However, they

want to win some and lose some, granted that the other party is ready to do same. They

are moderately assertive and cooperative. They seek to find the middle ways to conflict

situations where all parties are satisfied. This model might be appropriate in the following

situations;

• Cooperation is important but time and resources are limited.

• When it is considered that any solution is better than a stalemate.

• When efforts at collaboration would be misunderstood as forcing.

However, the model is often inappropriate in the following situations:

• When finding the most creative solutions to the conflict is very essential

• When you cannot live with the consequences

Pa

ge3

3

Avoiding – The individual in this model tends to hide from any situation that might lead to

conflict. They generally avoid conflict; they are normally unassertive and uncooperative. They

hardly pursue their own concerns or others. They rather avoid conflict entirely or delay their

response. Once there is a situation of such, they flees from the situation and refuses to

acknowledge or even discuss it. This model might be appropriate in the following situations;

• When the issue is trivial.

• The relationship is insignificant.

• Time is short and decision is not necessary.

• You have little power but still wish to block the other party.

However, the model is often inappropriate in the following situations:

• When you care about the relationship and the issues involved.

• When it becomes the norm rather than the exception.

• Negative feelings may linger

• Others would benefit caring confrontation.

Accommodating – The individual in this model seeks to accept whatever the other party insists

on. This is very much like the collaborating model, but in this model, the party that is ready to

accommodate is seen as the weaker party. This model might be appropriate in the following

situations;

• When you do not really care about the issues.

• When you are powerless but have no wish to block the other person.

• When you realize that you are wrong.

However, the model is often inappropriate in the following situations:

• When you are likely to harbor resentment.

• When used regularly in order to gain acceptance in a relationship.

• When others wish to collaborate will feel like enforcers if you accommodate.

The figure below from Caritas 2006 illustrates the point:

Pa

ge3

4

Figure 3: Conflict Styles and Degree of Concern for Relationships and Issues

This task was adopted from: Caritas (2006); Perlstein, R. & Thrall, G. (1996); Schrumpf, F., Crawford, D.,

Bodine, R.J.(2002);

CONFLICT-HANDLING STYLE QUESTIONAIRE 2

Indicate how often you do the following when you differ with someone.

When I differ with someone: Usually Sometimes Seldom

1. I explore our differences, not backing down, but

not imposing my view either.

2 www.uk.sagepub.com/parker/CHAPTER%2016/Conflict-handling%20Style%20Questionnaire.doc

Pa

ge3

5

2.I disagree openly, then invite more discussion

about our differences.

3. I look for a mutually satisfactory solution.

4. Rather than let the other person make a decision

without my input, I make sure I am heard and

also that I hear the other person out.

5. I agree to a middle ground rather than look for

a completely satisfying solution.

6. I admit I am half wrong rather than explore

our differences.

7. I have a reputation for meeting a person halfway.

8. I expect to get out about half of what I really

want to say.

9. I give in totally rather than try to change

another’s opinion.

Pa

ge3

6

10. I put aside any controversial aspects of an issue.

11. I agree early on, rather than argue about a point.

12. I give in as soon as the other party gets

emotional about an issue.

13. I try to win the other person over.

14. I work to come out victorious, no matter what.

15. I never back away from a good argument.

16. I would rather win than end up compromising.

Scoring the Conflict-Handling Style Questionnaire:

Everyone has a basic or underlying conflict-handling style that guides behaviors in conflict

situations. Your scores indicate which styles you are most likely to rely on. An important thing

to remember is that the style used in any particular conflict depends in part on the style adopted

by those with whom you are in conflict.

Total your choices as follows: give yourself five points for “usually;” three points for

“sometimes;” one point for “seldom.” Then total them for each set of statements grouped as

follows:

A: total your scores on items 13–16

Pa

ge3

7

B: total your scores on items 9–12

C: total your scores on items 5–8

D: total your scores on items 1–4

Treat each set of scores separately. A score of 17 or above on any set is considered high; scores

of 12–16 are moderately high; scores of 8–11 are moderately low; and scores of 7 or less are

considered low.

Source material: Thomas J. Von Der Embse (1987) Supervision: Managerial Skills for a New

Era. New York: Macmillan.

Pa

ge3

8

Animal Conflict Handling Styles

Animals have various ways of handling conflict. The facilitator can use some of the styles before

from Caritas 2006 to explain conflict handling styles.

Pa

ge3

9

Pa

ge4

0

Conflict has two parts, the contents & the relationships. Contents we see, the relationships we don’t see, it involves power,

influence, identity. Etc!! Contents we can resolve, in relationship we talk of reconciliation and restoration.

Task 3: APPROACHES TO DEALING WITH CONFLICTS

Conflicts are a necessary component in the process of changing needs, goals, and activities of

social Groups and political actors. - SDC - Swiss Agency for Development and Cooperation

Conflict prevention is the prevention of conflict from escalation to destructive and violent. In the

normal course of events, conflicts occur quite regularly in interactions between individuals,

groups and nations. Conflicts, as disagreements and conflicting interests between individuals and

groups, are inevitable. Conflict transformation is an ongoing process of changing relationships,

behaviours, attitudes and structures, from the negative to the positive. It requires timely

interventions, respect for cultural context, patience and persistence and a comprehensive

understanding of the conflict. As conflict is dynamic and conflict transformation is an ongoing

process, learning is a vital component.” – World Vision UK

Conflict management refers to the long-term management of intractable conflict. It is the label

for the variety of ways by which people handle grievances—standing up for what they consider

to be right and against what they consider to be wrong. Conflict resolution is a range of

processes aimed at alleviating or eliminating sources of conflict. The term "conflict resolution" is

sometimes used interchangeably with the term dispute resolution. Processes of conflict resolution

generally include negotiation, mediation and diplomacy, Conflict transformation is the process

by which conflict, such as ethnic conflict , are transformed into peaceful outcomes. It differs

from conflict resolution and conflict management approaches in that it recognizes "that

contemporary conflicts require more than the reframing of positions and the identification of

win-win outcomes. The very structure of parties and relationships may be embedded in a pattern

of conflictual relationships that extend beyond the particular site of conflict. Conflict

transformation is therefore a process of engaging with and transforming the relationships,

Pa

ge4

1

interests, discourses and, if necessary, the very constitution of society that supports the

continuation of violent conflict".3 Conflict transformation approaches differ from those of

conflict management or conflict resolution. Whereas conflict transformation involves

transforming the relationships that support violence, conflict management approaches seek to

merely manage and contain conflict, and conflict resolution approaches seek to move conflict

parties away from zero-sum positions towards positive outcomes, often with the help of external

actors.4 – Wikipedia

Power is the ability to get others to do as one wants them to do. This can occur through the use of

force (referred to as "power-over"), through cooperation (referred to as "power-with" or

"exchange power"), or through the power of "love" or the integrative system.

- Maria A. Dugan5

Conflict as we stated in the earlier session is not negative but our response can determine the

outcome. The summary can be6 that conflict is often needed. It:

• Helps to raise and address problems. It brings problems that are latent to the surface to be

addressed.

• Energizes work to be on the most appropriate issues.

• Helps people "be real", for example, it motivates them to participate.

• Helps people learn how to recognize and benefit from their differences.

Conflict is not the same as discomfort. The conflict isn't the problem - it is the response that

makes the difference. Conflict can be negative when it:

• Hampers productivity.

• Lowers morale.

3 Hugh Miall (2004) Conflict Transformation: A Multi-Dimensional Task, Berghof Handbook for Conflict Transformation, p. 4 4 Hugh Miall (2004) Conflict Transformation: A Multi-Dimensional Task, Berghof Handbook for Conflict Transformation, p. 4 5 http://crinfo.beyondintractability.org/essay/Power/?nid=2126 6 http://managementhelp.org/intrpsnl/basics.htm

Pa

ge4

2

• Causes more and continued conflicts.

• Causes inappropriate behaviours.

Aim

� These categories: conflict management, conflict resolution and conflict transformation

will help us determine the best approach to conflict situations. This is usually determined

by the type and stage at which the conflict is. However, the most important determinant is

the desired outcome.

Conflict Prevention

This model involves series of action taken in order to prevent the conflict from escalating. The

following are actions that can be exercised under this model:

� Preventive diplomacy

� Deployment of troops

� Disarmament

� Humanitarian action

� Peace building

� Training

� Policy making

� Early warning systems

� Example (a): In our story under interpersonal conflict where Ngozi and Amarachi are no

longer in talking terms, a mutual friend can decide to bring the two together in order to

iron out the issues.

� Example (b): In our story under intra-state conflict where the RMP and the government

of Janeria were engaged in fighting, religious leaders of different denominations can

attempt to get the government of Janeria and the RMP to engage in discussions on how to

end the conflict.

Pa

ge4

3

Conflict Management

This model aims to manage and control an existing conflict and prevent it from worsening and

spreading to other regions. Peacekeeping is part of conflict management.

� Example (a): The African Union deployed the African Union Mission in Sudan (AMIS)

to the Darfur region of Sudan in order to monitor the Ceasefire Agreements signed and to

prevent an escalation of the conflict in the region.

� Example (b): Nkechi and Bello are brother and sister; they were quarrelling over a

Pencil. Bello complained to their father that Nkechi took his Pencil. The father can decide

to give Bello another Pencil. In this case he is not trying to resolve or find out if actually

a pencil was taken or not. His motivation is to have peace in the house.

Conflict Resolution

This model attempts to address the root causes of the conflict. It is however, a short term model

which focuses specifically on the issues of a particular conflict

� Example (a): The Mozambican peace process is an example of a successful conflict

resolution process. The war in Mozambique which lasted for 28 years came to an end

with the signing of the Mozambique Peace Agreement in 1992. This was followed by

Democratic elections in 1994.

� Example (b): In the example above, the parents can call Nkechi to enquire if she took

Bello’s pencil. The father can then call Bello to question him about where he kept his

Pencil. In this process, the situation of the pencil can be resolved. It might be possible

that Bello forgot his pencil somewhere or that Nkechi took the pencil for whatever reason.

It is only in the process of asking questions that solutions and options can be found.

Conflict Transformation

This model works at changing the structures and institutions that keep injustice entrenched in a

society and prevent peace and stability. It is closely linked with peace building since it involves

the systemic transformation with a view to increasing justice and equality in the social system as

a whole. Reconciliation and reconstruction form an integral part of this model.

Pa

ge4

4

� Example (a): At the end of the apartheid regime in South Africa, the state was

transformed into a democratic state where human rights and non-discrimination were

enshrined I the constitution of the Republic.

� Example (b): At the end of the decade long war in Sierra Leone, the Truth and

Reconciliation Commission commenced its work towards the healing and reconciliation

of the affected population.

� Example (c ): At the beginning of the new democratic dispensation in Nigeria. The

government set up a Truth Commission. The work is to bring about reconciliation in the

country.

� Example (d): In our example about Bello and Nkechi. The resolution of the conflict

between both of them might have generated some bad feelings. The process of conflict

transformation is to ensure that there is healing between them.

Three strategies of conflict resolution (Power, Rights, Interests)

This analysis presents a review of existing strategies of dispute resolution and gives their

comparative analysis based on costs, risk and achieved result parameters.

“With an eye for an eye, everyone ends up blind.”- Ghandi

Pa

ge4

5

When we are in conflict we consciously or unconsciously choose a strategy to deal with it.

There was various strategies, however, the three basic choices we make are based on a: power

based approach, a rights based approach, or an interest based approach.

In some disputes, the focus is to determine who is more powerful; this can be obvious when

neighbors are quarrelling or nations exchanging threats or counter threats. Another focus on

determining who is right, such as when two lawyers argue about whose case has the greater

merit. And finally some choose negotiations on the basis of the mutual interests of the parties.

In reality, most conflict might have an element or a mixture of all three at different times. Some

attempt to satisfy interests, some discussion of rights, and some references to relative power.

Power is the ability to coerce someone to do something they would not otherwise do. Power may

be derived by force of arms, position in the hierarchy, charisma or intimidation. Determining

who is the more powerful party without a decisive and potentially destructive power contest is

frequently difficult because it may ultimately be a matter of perceptions. The Power Based

Approach is the most costly and most risky strategy available to us though it is sometimes the

most effective.

Another way to resolve conflict situation is to rely on some independent standard with perceived

legitimacy or fairness to determine who is right. This is a Rights Based Approach and may

include methods such as reciprocity, precedent, equality or seniority.

Rights are rarely clear. There are often different, and sometimes contradictory, standards that

apply. The typical rights procedure is adjudication (the traditional judge, jury, tribunal, etc.).

While a rights-based approach has less risk than a power based approach it is still risky and also

carries with it a high cost.

Pa

ge4

6

A third way is negotiating by means of interests, which are needs, desires, concerns, or fears.

The things people care about or want. They underlie people’s positions, the things they say they

want. The Interest Based Approach is not easy. It too involves costs and risks but it is typically

the least costly of the three options. It involves probing for deep-seated concerns, devising

creative solutions, making trade-offs and seeking mutual interests.

Each of described strategies has its own key question that parties in a conflict try to find the

answer.

• In the first case it is – "who is stronger/more powerful?",

• In a rights based approach it would be "who is right?"

• In the third variant - "how do we reconcile our underlying interests?"

Exercise Power Relationships Sculpture7

Purpose: Encourage participants to think about power dynamics and/or its relations relationships

Materials: A carpeted floor or mat

Time: Flexible depending on time available and length of debriefing

Procedure:

1) Ask for 3 volunteers. Indicate that they will be asked to “sculpt” an image on which the others

will be asked to comment.

2) Ask the first person to lie down on the floor flat on his or her back (illustrated below). Ask

the second person to place her or his foot on the stomach of the first person. Ask the third person

to stand on a chair behind the second person and put his or her hands on the second person’s

shoulders.

7 Adopted from Caritas 2006

Pa

ge4

7

3) Ask the group:

What does this sculpture represent?

What is this about?

A follow-up probe question is: who is more powerful in the sculpture?

Additional questions for reflection and discussion are:

How would you arrange the sculpture to represent what you want it to look like?

How would you change the sculpture to portray a more just distribution of power? Would you

start at the bottom? At the top? In the middle?

There are a variety of ways to make changes to the sculpture:

• Ask the three volunteers to change the picture while the larger group watches.

• Ask the larger group to instruct the volunteers on how to change the sculpture.

• Add people to the sculpture with the question: To represent the situation more accurately, what would you add?

❖ Ask participants to construct a vision of what they would like to see, and then ask: How do we

get there?

Pa

ge4

8

Follow-up discussion can include identifying where crises points arise for those in the sculpture

(Did you feel like you were going to fall?) and how they react to them (What did you do?). This

exercise can highlight who Caritas workers want to empower, how structural change occurs, and

what can change the structure?

A STORY:

Once upon a time, the animals used to hold an annual power celebration. Recently, the

celebration had become very competitive. New winners emerged because of new techniques.

Last year Monkey was the winner. Imagine! All the animals agreed that the monkey had

succeeded in demonstrating new techniques of power and merited the first place. This year the

competition was a little different. A new animal joined the race – Human. Most animals had not

given Human any chance but Human had sailed through the preliminaries. The finals were held

up the hill of Kwetu Forest overlooking the waterfall of hope. The five finalists were Lion,

Elephant, Monkey, Giraffe, and Human. As usual, the competitors arrived with their supporters.

Monkey was the first to arrive. No one quite saw how Monkey arrived because he was jumping

from branch to branch. It looked spectacular as the entire Monkey family arrived like a well-

choreographed circus. Next was Lion who dislikes ceremony and arrived only with his wife. He

looked around proudly as he stepped into the arena. Elephant and Giraffe are rather close friends

and arrived almost at the same time. Elephant arrived chewing a branch while Giraffe nibbled

some sweet leaves. Human arrived last and came alone, with an object dangling from his waist.

The master of ceremony, Squirrel, announced that the competition should begin. According to

the rules, the competitors could step into the arena as soon as they felt ready. Elephant went first

and demonstrated her power by digging a large hole, throwing lots of dust and making a lot of

noise. Giraffe came next and did a poor modification of her dance of power but the melody

sounded nice. She danced around gracefully and then sat down. Monkey weighed in with his

acrobatic jumps from branch to branch, but few animals seemed impressed. Lion roared to

Pa

ge4

9

demonstrate his power. Few animals were afraid since they had heard this roar many times

before.

Last came the new competitor, Human. Human stepped into the arena and looked around. The

animals fell silent. Slowly Human untied something from his waist and raised it. Loud bangs

followed. Suddenly almost every other competitor was bleeding. Lion was limping, and Monkey

scampered away with blood oozing from his ear. Even Elephant seemed helpless. She sat there

with a bleeding trunk doing something between laughing and crying. Human laughed and slowly

walked back into the forest.

That night, all the animals met. Human was not invited. The animals wondered what had become

of Human. Why did he attempt to kill the animals even when he did not want to eat them? Some

animals thought Human was different because he walked on his two feet, while others said he

could be suffering from that rare disease, “superiority complex.” The animals decided to

investigate Human further. Dog and Cat were given the task to investigate Human and bring

back a report. However, since then, no other competitions have been held. Dog and Cat seem to

enjoy living with Human, once they accepted being subject to Human’s control. They have not

brought back a report.

Exercise:

What are the lessons about power from this story?

Who are the various parties in the story?

What are the interests of the parties?

Pa

ge5

0

Cultures of peace consist of values, attitudes and behaviours that reject violence and prevent conflicts by tackling the root causes to solve

problems through dialogue and negotiation- UNESCO

Task 4: WHAT IS PEACE?

Peace has always been among humanity's highest values--for some, supreme. Peace, however, is

also seen as concord, or harmony and tranquillity.

Rummel, R.J

Jesus said that peacemakers are to be blessed as children of God, but in the real world they are

often dismissed as utopian dreamers or worse, quaking defeatists who live in denial of reality.

David Cortright

“Violence is a method by which the ruthless few can subdue the passive many. Nonviolence is a

means by which the active many can overcome the ruthless few.”

Jonathan Schell

Peace is not the absence of war. Rummel, R.J (2001) claimed that the definition of peace can be

derived within a framework and within a social context. This can be based on religious or

ideological, legal perspectives among others. Cortright (2008) supports the view that peace can

be seen within a descriptive and explanatory reality. Quoting Johan Galtung view as peace being

positive when it transcends factors that prevents human from achieving their potentials and

Gandhi look at peace within the framework of non violence. Therefore, Peace has various

concepts. There are also the physical and spiritual aspects of the concept. While these might be

correct, there are situations where there is the absence of conflict or violence, but still peace

would not be present.. Peace therefore has also been seen as the presence or states of mind and

society such as harmony, security, accord and understanding.

Exercise 4.1

Materials: Pens, pencils, cut up papers, flip chart and marker pens.

Pa

ge5

1

Participants

� The whole class will be involved.

� Ask students to write in one word, what they associate with peace once they hear term.

Ask students to share their words with the class and to give reasons why they chose the

words. Record the words and reasons on the flip chart during the discussion.

� Note: If the class is large, the student sharing can be done in small groups. Students

choose one or two of the words and reasons discussed in the small group and present

these in a follow-up full class discussion.

Exercise 4.2

Photo Expansion:

Materials: writing board, card board for pasting pictures, pictures depicting peaceful situations

with different groups, pens, paper and pencils, note books.

Procedure:

� Select photos of "peaceful" scenes to show the class, one to illustrate each category

(G,N,C,FR,FA, P). Examples of possible photos are:

• Global - The United Nations in session

• National - Celebration of a national holiday

• Community - A town or neighborhood city gathering showing people working

together on a community project.

• FRiends - Two or three people engaged in conversation

• FAmily - A family celebration (birthday, religious holiday, etc.)

• Personal - One person in a nature setting…..mountains, lakeside, seaside, etc.

� As photos are shown, ask the class to give each a "title" to designate the group in the

picture (i.e., friends, family, etc.). Prompt the responses by asking questions (e.g., who

are they, where are they, what are they doing, and why? How do they feel?). Write the

responses on the chalkboard as a semantic web, with the group title in the centre. Six

Pa

ge5

2

webs (for each of the categories) should be put on the board. Create a class word list of

from five to eight words from the "how do they feel" question responses for each of the

groups. These lists should be displayed in the classroom while students work on

subsequent "peace" activities. Ask the students to record the words from the word list

into their notebooks.

� Ask the students to work in pairs or triads to

• Match their personal word from the Warm-up Activity with the picture and web

which they think best exemplifies its meaning.

• Find ways that their word can be matched with each of the other pictures/webs. For

example, several students may choose the word love as associated with the concept of

"peace". Love may be matched first with family and friends. To match love with the

global category the class should explore the concept of caring for others, responsibility

for others. (As students work with this activity, record the additional vocabulary and

lexical phrases on the chalkboard, and add it to the class word list. Ask students to copy

the new words and phrases in their notebooks.)

What is Peace? By Arun Gandhi

An ancient Kalabari King who was obsessed with the desire to find the meaning of peace. What

is peace and how can we get it and when we find it what should we do with it were some of the

issues that bothered him. Intellectuals in his kingdom were invited to answer the King's questions

for a handsome reward. Many tried but none could explain how to find peace and what to do

with it. At last someone said the King ought to consult the sage who lived just outside the

borders of his Kingdom:

"He is an old man and very wise," the King was told. "If anyone can answer your questions he

can."

Pa

ge5

3

The King went to the sage and posed the eternal question. Without a word the sage went into the

kitchen and brought a grain of wheat to the King.

"In this you will find the answer to your question," the Sage said as he placed the grain of wheat

in the King's outstretched palm.

Puzzled but unwilling to admit his ignorance the King clutched the grain of wheat and returned

to his palace. He locked the precious grain in a tiny gold box and placed the box in his safe. Each

morning, upon waking, the King would open the box and look at the grain to seek an answer but

could find nothing.

Weeks later another sage, passing through, stopped to meet the King who eagerly invited him to

resolve his dilemma. The King explained how he had asked the eternal question and this sage

gave him a grain of wheat instead. "I have been looking for an answer every morning but I find

nothing”.

The Sage said: "It is quite simple, your honor. Just as this grain represents nourishment for the

body, peace represents nourishment for the soul. Now, if you keep this grain locked up in a gold

box it will eventually perish without providing nourishment or multiplying. However, if it is

allowed to interact with the elements - light, water, air, and soil - it will flourish, multiply and

soon you would have a whole field of wheat which will nourish not only you but so many others.

This is the meaning of peace. It must nourish your soul and the souls of others; it must multiply

by interacting with the elements."

Pa

ge5

4

Peace Education is participatory learning! It empowers people to be peace builders. The teacher is only a facilitator of the process! Who

creates the right environment for students to empower themselves to participate fully in their own learning to create peace in their lives!!

Task 5: WHAT IS PEACE EDUCATION?

A culture of peace will be achieved when citizens of the world understand global problems, have

the skills to resolve conflicts and struggle for justice non-violently, live by international

standards of human rights and equity, appreciate cultural diversity, and respect the Earth and

each other. Such learning can only be achieved with systematic education for peace.

--Hague Appeal for Peace Global Campaign for Peace Education

Peace education may be defined as the process of acquiring the values, the knowledge and

developing the attitudes, skills, and behaviors to live in harmony with oneself, with others, and

with the natural environment.

--- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peace_education

Peace Education is holistic. It embraces the physical, emotional, intellectual and social growth of

children within a framework deeply rooted in traditional human values. It is based on a

philosophy that teaches love, compassion, trust, fairness, cooperation. ………It empowers

children to find creative and non destructive ways to settle conflicts and to live in harmony with

themselves , others and the world.

- Schmidt, F & Friedman, A (1999)

Peace Education means different things to different people; it serves different purposes based on

need (Salomon, 2007). Quaker Peace Centre (2002) concurred that peace includes a variety of

topics, it also have various ways in which it can be taught either in the formal or informal sector.

The soul of peace education therefore is its adaptation to the context in which it is intended.

Salomon, 2007 argues therefore that peace education is meant to solve or promote a specific

concept based on the realities of the location it is developed. There is no generic model for peace

Pa

ge5

5

education however, there are embodiments that each programme should contain or accommodate.

Salomon & Nevo 2002 stated that some of the contents should include creating a peaceable

climate, enhance skills, and knowledge. They further emphasised the need to develop

programmes based on the specifics of the participants. This means while we take the context and

geographical realities of the programme into consideration, the intended audience should form

the basis for the development of the programme. In this regards the ages, social status,

environment and inter relationships of the intended audience should be studied to develop a

programme that meets their expectation and can meet the intended goals and objectives. This

involves determining the appropriate duration, resources, strategies, time line as well as methods

of evaluation and assessment.

Loreta, N. and Jasmin, N. (2008) proposed six dimensions & values of peace education, there

are not exhaustive, but are indications of areas of concern. The diagram below illustrates this:

Figure1: Culture of Peace: Dimensions and Operative Values

In concurring with Quaker Peace Centre (2002) and others on the need for variety on the themes

for peace education, Loreta, N. and Jasmin, N. (2008) proposed interplay on knowledge sharing,

Pa

ge5

6

skills acquisition and the change to positive attitudes and values. The knowledge is about a

holistic concept of peace, nonviolence and peaceful alternatives. The skills is the ability to reflect,

think critically and analyse, make decisions, have empathic communication as well as a positive

attitude of respect for life, oneself & others, compassion and social responsibility. This interplay

is reflected in the figure below.

Figure 2: Interplay of Knowledge, Skills and Attitude

The aim to achieve peace in today’s world should not be left to the United Nations Security

Council. Teachers and learners alike have their different roles to play in ensuring that the climate

Pa

ge5

7

of peace and non violence permeates throughout the globalised world. To this end therefore,

peace education, especially targeting the youths and young adults becomes very imperative.

Peace education therefore is concerned with helping learners to develop an awareness of the

processes and skills that are necessary for achieving understanding, tolerance, and good-will in

the world today. Through these processes, the youth and young adults would be able to

contribute positively to the community by building network of peace clubs and spreading the

message of peace throughout their communities.

This involves the following:

� Examining and discussing our values and attitudes towards diversity, cultural

differences, tolerance, and human dignity;

� Developing language and social interaction skills to promote peaceful relations

among people, among nations, and between human beings and the natural

environment; and

� Learning to solve problems and to think critically regarding issues of conflict and

violence.

Importance of Peace Education

There is no denying the fact that today’s globalised and highly technological world presents

more security threats to the citizens than in the past few decades. A child in Thailand today can

easily gain access to the internet and through it gain immediate knowledge on how to develop

bombs. A child in Nigeria has access to events the world over through the television and the

internet. Through that exposure, the child can easily get influenced by the violence exhibited by

adults. Violence has become a common commodity in today’s world that the ire it used to draw

is no longer as hot as it was in decades past. It is disheartening to realize that we live in a world

of unprecedented violence in different forms. Terrorism, war, crimes, injustice, oppression and

exploitation of the populace by the minority seems to be the other of the day. Gone are the days

of chivalry, where the strong protect the weak. While disorder and confusion reign supreme, the

most vulnerable in the society – children – suffer the most. Naturally, children absorb the spirit

Pa

ge5

8

of violence in the atmosphere and since they are the so called leaders of tomorrow, the dangers

are that they will grow to become leaders of a violent society, having been steeped and nurtured

in violence. The urgent need therefore exists that were we to mould our children into the near

perfect leaders of tomorrow, we should start now to nurture them in understanding the essence of

peace and availing them with the opportunities of acquiring the relevant skills to resolve disputes

in a convivial manner.

Methodology

The teacher can implement peace education in the classroom through the following methods:

� Through the use of topics that raises issues related to peace and cultural understanding in

the classrooms. The teacher can share a story with the students which tease out basic

information to help them develop positive attitudes and values related to living in peace

as a community.

Example Story: Amina is a Fulani girl who was born an orphan, having lost her father six

months before her birth. The mother died minutes after Amina was born. Amina was cared for by

the Catholic Church which was running the hospital where she was born. At the age of five,

Amina was enrolled in primary 1 at Holy Ghost Primary School, Enugu. Amina exhibited signs

of intelligence and she became the darling of the whole class, more so, when her classmates

realized that she was an orphan. All her classmates took her as their sibling and made sure that

she was always catered for. On every holiday break, Amina would go with one of her classmates

to their home for the holiday. This trend continued until Amina finished primary school and the

Uncle wanted Amina to relocate to Kaduna where she would be married off to a man three times

older than her. The classmates resisted the Uncle’s paln and made sure that Amina stayed back in

Enugu to continue her post-primary education.

� Engage in activities that encourage cooperation, consensus building, and reflective

listening gives students the skills they need to meet and resolve conflicts.

o Example: the teacher should make sure that students while engaged in

assignments are divided into groups. Always juggle the groups so that no

permanent ties are forged in exercises that involve competitions.

Pa

ge5

9

The aim is to provide students with opportunities to develop problem-solving skills and critical

thinking skills along with language skills to express themselves clearly and convincingly. The

following sessions on mediation and peer mediation, are examples of peace education at work.

Adopted from: Perlstein, R. & Thrall, G. (1996).

Pa

ge6

0

We should respect others views and feelings. There is no right or wrong answers, just different opinions!

Task 6: WHAT IS MEDIATION?

Mediation is an activity in which a neutral third party, the mediator, facilitates the reaching of

consensus on a disputed issue by two or more editors by guiding and regulating structured

discussion. The common aspects of mediation are: a difference of positions between the

respective parties; a desire on the part of the parties to find a positive solution to the dispute and

to accept a discussion about respective interests and objectives; the intention of achieving a

positive result through the help of an independent, neutral third-party not connected with any of

the involved parties; the intention of achieving a steady result, preferably a long-lasting

agreement between the parties.

Wikipedia8

Mediation is a communication process in which the people with a problem work together with

the assistance of a neutral third person, cooperating to resolve their conflict peacefully.

Schrumpf, F., Crawford, D.; and Bodine, J. (1997).

Mediation is sometimes referred to as assisted negotiation, it the process where the parties to a

conflict agree to appoint a third party who will work impartially with the parties to help them

talk through different options available in order to voluntarily come to an agreement on resolving

the conflict. It must be noted at the outset that the third party – the mediator – does not force the

parties to come to an agreement. It is a voluntary process. The parties themselves work their way

through reaching an agreement. The mediation process differs from place to place and from

mediator to mediator. However, it is generally agreed that there are four main stages in the

mediation process. There can be variation in the stages. MCS (1995) listed the stages as:

• Introduction,

• Story telling

• Problem Solving

• Agreement 8 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mediation

Pa

ge6

1

� In a peace process, a single mediator or co-mediators may be appointed to mediate in the

conflict.

� The mediator(s) must be acceptable to all the parties to the conflict.

� A mediator may use his or her own technical specialists to advise on complex problems –

for instance, issues of constitutional reform, disarmament or domestic laws.

� Mediators may be outsider mediators with obvious impartial and third party credentials or

they may be trusted insider mediators from within the conflicted society who have a deep

knowledge and perspective on the conflict that is valued and respected by all parties.

� There are different ways of mediating in conflict:

• The facilitating mediator model – the mediator’s role here is to create the enabling

conditions so that the parties to the conflict can elicit their own solution at their pace.

• The problem-solving or formulative mediator model – the mediator in this model

designs and presents certain solutions to the problems. S/he can also express

preferences sometimes for particular outcomes, and can also push the parties harder

or faster than they would have ordinarily done.

• The power mediator or manipulative mediator model – the mediator in this model

exercises his/her political or economic authority over the parties in order for them to

reach an agreement.

� Stages in Mediation might include:

Introduction – Mediators greets the parties and introduces the process to them.

• The parties agree on ground rules to guide the process.

• Draw up joint framework for the process.

Story-telling stage – the parties each state their side of the problem from their own viewpoint.

The mediator must make sure that there are no interruptions by any party.

• Special concerns and goals for resolution would be stated by both parties

• Identify the facts that are not in contention and those in contention

Pa

ge6

2

• Draw up a joint problem/issue list for discussion.

Problem-Solving stage – the mediator examines options for resolution

• Focus on interests and not positions

• Encourage parties to generate options jointly

• Encourage “what if…” thinking.

• Evaluate options.

• It might be necessary to introduce efforts that will reduce hostility.

• Encourage commitment to working it out

• Direct discussions of feelings

• If necessary, hold separate sessions with each party

• Compliment parties on their progress

Agreement stage: Once the parties have reached an agreement, work out the specifics on the

following issues:

• Who does what? When? Where? How? And sometimes why?

• Be balanced and non judgmental

• Agreement to be written out, typed, printed and re-read by each party to confirm

that the written words are what they agreed to.

Story-telling stage

� Each party explains the situation from his/her perspective. This includes facts and

feelings. Do not hush or interrupt the person. Allow the party to draw the story out.

� The mediator(s) briefly summarizes the story reflecting both facts and feelings.

� The mediator(s) and parties define and agree on the list of issues to be negotiated. It is

very vital that the parties agree on what the problems are before trying to agree on

solutions.

Points for the Mediator(s)

� Interruptions – there must be no interruptions when each side is stating its views. Be

firm and be in control.

Pa

ge6

3

� Questions – Be cautious on the use of leading questions so as not to appear biased in

favour of any of the party. If information is needed, phrase open questions, not closed

questions.

• Open questions: “Tell us more about what happened on that day?”

• Closed questions: “Did Mr. Okeke participate in the attack?”

� Paraphrase – This should be done in a clear, precise and concise sentence. You do not

need to repeat all the parties stated.

� Barbed Comments – Avoid the use of phrases that could inflame any of the parties.

Language like “she’s lying” should be dropped and instead use the format “you se things

differently.” When any of the parties make comments that bother on perception, ask for

specific examples of what the speaker has in mind.

� Take notes – this is not just to remind you of important points, but also to create the

necessary rapport between you and the parties that you take their situation serious.

� Caucusing – the mediator might call for break in the mediation to discuss with the

disputants individually. This process can take place anytime in the process. It is not

compulsory but might be necessary in order to move beyond an impasse and reach a just

settlement.

Problem-Solving Stage

� The issues must be identified and listed out

� The mediator(s) guides the parties in identifying their needs and interests and the

practical options open to them.

� The mediator(s) must try to connect with the parties and enable them to relate to each

other. Try to empathize with the parties’ situation but do not give the impression that any

of them is right or wrong.

� Emphasize fair standards and elicit full participation.

� Guide parties in negotiating decisions.

Pa

ge6

4

Points for mediators

� Mediators need to devote special attention to the three aspects of conflicts – process,

people and problem.

Process Skills – This is the way decisions are made and how people feel about them. The

mediator(s) must be fair and open throughout the mediation process.

� Determine the order of the agenda

� Hold separate meetings when useful

� Deal with impasse

� Control the process

People Skills – The mediator must connect as a person with the parties and enable them to relate

with each other. The mediator therefore needs to acquire the skills in dealing with feelings,

perceptions and communication issues during the negotiations.

� Coach effective communication

� Highlight commonalities and good intentions

� Acknowledge feelings

� Launder language

� Affirm parties’ progress

Problem Solving Skills – The mediator(s) guides the parties in negotiating decisions and in

identifying the practical options open to them. At every point of the mediation, make sure that

the parties are focused on needs and interests rather than on positions.

� Highlight interests vs. positions

� Brainstorm ideas for resolving issues

� Reframe issues

� Evaluate options

� Be objective in decision making.

Pa

ge6

5

Exclusion leads to a sense of powerlessness! We should acknowledge and respect people’s identity, freedom, security & needs!!

Task 7: PEER MEDIATION

Peer mediation is both a program and a process where students of the same age-group facilitate

resolving disputes between two people or small groups. It is a negotiation-based strategy that

teaches student mediators alternative strategies to help resolve conflict among their peers. The

process starts with the training of students as conflict managers to apply problem-solving

strategies to assist their peers in settling disputes in a manner satisfying to all parties. The

strategy is aimed at helping keep many minor incidents from escalating over time into more

serious incidents. More importantly, peer mediation teaches students an alternative set of skills

that they can apply in conflict situations. Over time, students in schools with effective peer

mediation programs learn that there are alternatives to violence for solving personal problems or

resolving interpersonal conflict.

Common problems that can easily be solved through peer mediation include:

� Rumour and gossip

� Relationship difficulties/harassment

� Racial and cultural confrontations

� Minor assaults and fighting

� Cheating and stealing

� Vandalism

� Classroom or extracurricular disputes

More serious problems like sexual abuse, assault, suicide, drug use, weapon possession, and

those that involve legal problems should be referred to professionals.

Process in setting up a Peer Mediation Team

Materials – A dedicated mediation room. This can be set up in the staff block. However, if there

are other facilities outside the staff block, it is better to use it. This is to make sure that the

mediators act independent of staff pressure.

Pa

ge6

6

Team – this can be facilitated by an experienced, respected coordinator, and a few trusted

teachers and /or professionals. The team can be appointed or self-developed. It is the

responsibility to the team to research the basics of peer mediation and also develop and publish a

clear vision of its program for the school. This vision includes an overview of publicity, training,

practice, modeling, and evaluation. The goal is to educate various communities of the school on

peer mediation, its expectations and limits toward building a commitment toward its

implementation into a more comprehensive peace-based curriculum. The main duties of the

coordinator include the following:

� To develop a core group of adults within school community to carry out and model

the mediation program.

� Oversee the selection, training, motivation, debriefing of mediators.

� Serve as a trained mediator for co-facilitation and program start-up.

� Establish protocol for intake and referrals.

� Select and schedule mediators with case load.

� Keep records and report regularly to all communities/stakeholders

whether via newsletters, web sites, etc.

� Keep current with literature and research

� Work aggressively to overcome attitudinal and structural resistance with their schools,

developing and maintaining support from strategic groups, including parents.

Peer Mediator selection:

� Mediators should reflect school's diversity including cultures, gender, behavior,

academic social, race, ethnic groupings.

� Selection procedure and process should be publicized and include recommendations

and self-referral. A process of vetting the prospective candidates may be adopted by

the school.

� Commitments include continued skills development, willingness to co-facilitate

sessions and mentor new trainers.

� Rejection or deferral should be sensitively explained so as not to alienate the student.

Pa

ge6

7

Need for Experience – In order to benefit effectively from peer mediation, a system of

experience must be developed. This means that peer mediators must be trained and monitored

both in conflict management and negotiation skills. Strategies include role-playing, problem-

based learning and active-learning. If possible, workshops should be conducted away from

school to minimize distraction.

Peer Mediation Beliefs –

Cooperation and understanding are very important in the resolution of conflicts. Peer mediation

is based on the belief that in order to resolve conflicts constructively, the parties to the conflict

must be willing to do the following:

� Stay calm and control their anger, frustration, or other strong feelings.

� Focus on the problem and not blame the other person.

� Accurately state their feelings and wants.

� Respect and work to understand different points of view.

� Cooperate and create solutions that meet the needs of everyone involved.

Peer Mediation Process –

� The parties would be required to fill out a pre-session questionnaire. The questionnaire

establishes the ground rules, commitment to solving the problem, tell the truth, use civil

words, and listen respectfully without interrupting each other.

� The physical setting of the room should be in such a manner that no one party feels

disadvantaged.

• The parties should sit facing each other across the table.

• The mediator(s) should sit at the head of the table between the parties and nearest

to the exit.

� The parties meet with the mediators in order to ensure that there are no conflicts of

interests. Where there are objections to any particular mediator, s/he must be relieved of

Pa

ge6

8

the position. However, not every flimsy excuses to remove a mediator should be

entertained.

� The mediators explain to the parties the importance of the process, stating that it is to

prevent an escalation of the problem. The mediators must state at the onset that they are

not there to resolve the problem, but to assist the parties resolve the issues.

� Ask for questions and clarifications before continuing.

� At the session, the parties -

• Introduce themselves

• Each party tells their side of the story to the mediators, focusing on issues and not

on who did what, while the other party listens without interrupting.

• Each party repeats the other’s story to show that they understood the story and not

necessarily that they agree with the side of their story.

� The mediators –

• Summarise the facts and feelings of both sides for verification and agreement on

the issues identified. The mediators can use an easel pad or worksheet for recording all

ideas proffered by the parties for solving the problem.

• Leads a discussion on the issues acknowledging the difficulties in dealing with its

emotional baggage.

• Prompts both parties to see suggest ways of resolving the issues. If they have no

way forward, then mediator starts a brain-storming session without criticizing any

suggestions. All suggestions and opinions to be noted and acknowledged.

• Lead a session on the solutions. All agreed solutions by both parties to be ticked

off.

� The Parties –

• Determine the implications of the solutions in selecting the best possible outcome.

Each solution to be weighed and critically analysed.

• Select the best alternative

� The Mediators –

Pa

ge6

9

• Go through the oral agreement with the parties to confirm that they are all in

agreement before committing it to writing. Encourage parties who are not in agreement

to speak up.

• Prepare a written memorandum of understanding/agreement in parties’ own

words.

• The agreement to be re-read for confirmation.

� The Mediators and Parties –

• Sign the agreement

• Develop a process for follow up and monitoring of the agreement implementation

• The mediators thank all for being part of the effort at resolving the conflict and

asking for commitment towards maintaining a conflict free relationship.

Peer Mediation Example

The following example illustrates how a peer mediator uses the process of peer mediation to help

two students reach an agreement. The mediation was requested by the school principal, Mr.

Oludare. Three students can be selected to role play the different parts. This will help to give the

exercise live.

Step 1: Agree to Mediate

Mediator: Hello, my name is ……………., and I am the mediator assigned to conduct this

session today. What are your names?

1st Party: My name is Adebimpe.

2nd Party: I am Segun.

Mediator: Adebimpe and Segun, you are both welcome to the mediation center. Mediation as

you might be aware is a communication process in which both of you will work together, with

my assistance, cooperating to find a peaceable solution to your conflict. In order for the process

to work, there are certain ground rules we must follow. First, I will remain neutral throughout the

Pa

ge7

0

period – I will not take sides. Mediation is private – this means that I will not discuss your

problem with other students. Each of you will take turns talking, and when one is talking, the

other should listen and not interrupt. Last, in order to solve the problem, both of you need to

cooperate. Adebimpe, do you agree to mediate and follow the rules?

Adebimpe: Yes.

Mediator: Segun, do you agree to mediate and follow the rules?

Segun: Why not.

Mediator: Do I take it that you agree with the mediation Segun?

Segun: Yes, I agree.

Step 2: Gather Points of View

Mediator: Adebimpe, tell me what happened.

Adebimpe: Segun and I were arguing at the water tap. I got mad and threw my bucket at him.

The he shoved me against the water tank, punched me and slapped me when Mr. Oludare saw us.

Mr. Oludare suspended Segun. I never fight with anyone – I just got frustrated with Segun and I

lost control.

Mediator: You were frustrated and threw your bucket at Segun. Mr. Oludare saw Segun shove,

punch and slap you and suspended him. What did you think when that happened?

Adebimpe: I felt bad that Segun got into trouble because I actually started the fight. We have not

been on talking terms since, and nothing I do seems to help the situation.

Mediator: Adebimpe, you are sorry that Segun was suspended, and you are still frustrated.

Segun, let me hear your side of the story.

Segun: Adebimpe is always getting mad at me. She tells all our classmates that I am rude and

selfish. Whenever I miss a tennis practice, she turns it into a war.

Pa

ge7

1

Adebimpe: You are irresponsible. You are either late for practice, or you do not even bother to

come.

Mediator: Adebimpe, it is Segun’s turn to state his side of the story. Please, do not interrupt him.

Segun, you missed a tennis practice and Adebimpe got angry. Tell me more about that.

Segun: Well, we are double partners. Bimpe takes her game much too seriously. She needs to

lighten up a bit. She has the impression that since we are both tennis partners, that I belong to her.

She calls me a lot, but I do not want to be with only one girl all the time. I need my space and I

also need to interact more with others.

Mediator: Segun, are you saying that you are concerned that Adebimpe wants more from you

than just being your tennis partner?

Segun: Yes. In fact, she does not want to see me with other girls and I cannot take that from her.

Mediator: Adebimpe, do you have anything else you may want to add?

Adebimpe: Segun takes me for granted. I want him to consider how I feel when he stands me up

at practice. Not only do I end up not practicing, but other students snigger at me.

Mediator: Adebimpe, you want Segun to understand your feelings when he does not come to

practice and does not let you know in time that he would not be there.

Adebimpe: Yes, that is what I want.

Mediator: Segun, do you have anything to add?

Segun: Nothing else to add.

Step 3: Focus on Interests

Mediator: Adebimpe, why do you think that Segun does not tell you when he is not going to

make the practice?

Adebimpe: Well…may be he does not want to hear me yell and cry in front of his friends.

Mediator: Adebimpe, do you think that yelling at Segun will help get him to come to practice?

Pa

ge7

2

Adebimpe: No, I do not think so.

Mediator : Segun, what do you want?

Segun: I want her to stop getting so angry.

Mediator: You want Adebimpe to stop getting mad at you. Segun, if Adebimpe stood you up for

practice, how would you feel?

Segun: Well, I would be worried that she got hurt or something. However, if I found out that she

did it on purpose, I would probably be mad.

Mediator: You would be concerned that she was all right and upset if she did it on purpose.

Segun, what do you really want?

Segun: What do you mean?

Mediator: Do you want to be Adebimpe’s friend?

Segun: I want to be her friend, and I want to be her tennis partner, but I do not want to be her

boyfriend.

Mediator: You want to be Adebimpe’s friend and tennis partner? Is standing her up for practice

helping you get what you want?

Segun: No, it is not helping.

Mediator: Adebimpe, what do you want?

Adebimpe: I guess I had wanted Segunto be my boyfriend, and the more I try to make that

happen the worse things get.

Mediator: Adebimpe, can you make Segun be your boyfriend?

Adebimpe: No, if he does not want to be.

Mediator: Adebimpe, do you want to be Michael’s tennis partner?

Adebimpe: Yes.

Pa

ge7

3

Mediator: Do you want to be his friend?

Adebimpe: I guess so.

Step 4: Create Win-Win Options

Mediator: It sounds like both of you want to be friends and tennis partners. Now I want both of

you to think about what you can do to help solve your problem. We will make a list of all

possible solutions by brainstorming. The rules of brainstorming are to say any ideas that come to

mind, even if they are unusual. Do not rationalise or discuss the ideas, and look for as many

ideas as possible that might satisfy both of you. Ready? What can you do to solve the problem?

Segun: I could stop skipping practice.

Adebimpe: And inform me when you cannot make it.

Segun: We could practice before school if we miss a practice.

Adebimpe: I could stop yelling at Segun.

Mediator: what else can both of you do to solve the problem?

Segun: We could play tennis on Saturday mornings and then have lunch together.

Adebimpe: I could stop calling Segun just to talk.

Segun: I could take the upcoming tournament seriously…I really did not think it mattered.

Mediator : Can you think of anything else?

Segun: No.

Adebimpe: No.

Step 5: Evaluate Options

Pa

ge7

4

Mediator: Which of these ideas would probably work best?

Segun: Well, I think that practising before school would work.

Adebimpe: If I stop yelling at Segun and stop calling him all the time, he probably would like to

practice more.

Segun: Can you do this?

Adebimpe: If I get upset about something, I could write Segun a note to explain…and then we

could talk about the problem instead of arguing. Segun could do the same if he is upset about

something.

Mediator: Segun, do you think this would work for you.

Segun: It would be better than yelling.

Mediator: What else are you willing to do?

Segun: Well, we have this tournament coming up…I would be willing to practice before and

after school and on Saturday mornings to make up for the times I have missed.

Mediator: Adebimpe, are you willing to do that?

Adebimpe: that schedule would be very hard work for me, but I will do it. I think we can win if

we practice real hard. We also need to let each other know if we need to cancel.

Mediator: How would that work?

Segun: We could call each other or leave notes in each other’s lockers.

Mediator: Adebimpe, do you agree that would help?

Adebimpe: Yes.

Step 6: Create an Agreement

Pa

ge7

5

Mediator: You both seem to have agreed to practice before school, after school, and on

Saturday. If either of you needs to cancel practice, you will either call the other or leave a note.

What time?

Adebimpe: How about 7.30 in the morning and 4.00 after school and, say, 10:00 on Saturday?

Segun: Ok.

Mediator: Where will you leave the notes for each other and when?

Segun: If we are cancelling after-school practice we can put a note in the other person’s locker at

lunch. I guess we should call if we are cancelling before school or on Saturday.

Adebimpe: That is good.

Mediator: Is there anything else you can agree to?

Adebimpe: I think that if we have a problem in future, we should write the other person a note

explaining the problem and then talk about it.

Segun: I think that is fair.

Mediator: Is the problem solved?

Adebimpe: I think so.

Segun: Yes.

Mediator : Segun, what have you agreed to do?

Segun: I have agreed to get serious about tennis and practice every day at 7:30 and at 4:00 and

on Saturday morning, and to always show up unless I inform Bimpe in advance. Also, I agree to

talk with Bimpe when there is a problem rather than just ignoring her.

Mediator: Adebimpe, what have you agreed to do?

Adebimpe: Practice before and after school everyday and on Saturday, at 10:00, I think. I will

stop calling Segun just to talk, and will let him know when something is bothering me without

yelling at him or trying to embarrass him.

Pa

ge7

6

Mediator: Please look over this agreement to be sure it is correct, and if it is, sign it.

(Adebimpe and Segun go through the agreement, signs and the mediator signs. The mediator

shakes hands with Adebimpe and Segun.)

Mediator: Thank you for participating in mediation. If you encounter other problems, please

think about requesting mediation to help you. Would the two of you like to shake hands?

(Adebimpe and Segun shake hands.)

Points to Remember in Peer Mediation

� It is not always easy being a peer mediator. Mediation by its nature is challenging

therefore it is important to be positive and optimistic, even if the outcome of the process

is not what you expect.

� The mediator is only there to offer his/her skilled assistance to the parties. The only

persons who can solve the problems are the parties themselves.

� When faced with lots of challenges as a peer mediator, take the opportunity and share

your difficulties with other peer mediators or adult staff members. Remember to respect

the confidentiality of the parties that have come before you for mediation.

� Encouraging another’s efforts, sharing perspectives, and cooperating to solve human

problems is a lifelong challenge. However, through mutual support and respect, everyone

will become stronger and better able to reach common goals.

Most of the task adopted from Schrumpf, F., Crawford, D.; and Bodine, J. (1997)

Pa

ge7

7

Listen to understand, speak to be understood! Put off talking when you are angry or upset. Avoid the YOU statement!

Task 8: Tool Kit - Communication

Communication involves a sender, a message and a receiver. While we all engage in

communication on a daily basis, the essence of communication within a conflict management

spectrum is to achieve a positive result. It must be noted that while the sender of a message

might have control over the message, the interpretation given to that message by the receiver

cannot be controlled by the Sender. The message may be:

� Understood and interpreted as the Sender intended.

� Understood, but interpreted differently from the Sender’s intention.

� Misunderstood

� Not understood (the Receiver knows that s/he does not understand.)

The communication style used therefore must be tailored in such a manner that all doubts as to

the intended message is cleared. The communication style used in a conflict resolution process

affects the outcome of the process. The following three styles are generally used in conflict

situations:

� Passivity – this reflects a desire to avoid conflict.

� Aggression – this reflects a desire to win no matter the cost.

� Assertiveness – this reflects a desire to resolve conflict in a way that builds relationships

based on mutual respect.

Exercise –

The Messy Office – Rate the following five responses 1 to 5 where:

1 = most appropriate and most likely to lead to successful communication; and

5 = least appropriate and least likely to lead to successful communication.

Response A: Bola, you are a slob. You have no consideration for others!

Pa

ge7

8

Response B: Bola, I am fed up with constantly having to tidy the office on my own. I believe

that it is the responsibility of both of us to keep the office in a presentable state because we both

have to work in it.

Response C: You are the untidiest person on earth. When are you going to learn to stop making

such a mess?

Response D: I enjoy working in a clean and tidy office. I cannot stand it when the office is left in

a mess.

Response E: Bola, you are constantly leaving the office in a mess. Don’t you realise that I have

to work here too?

Non-Verbal Communication

In a conflict resolution process, what is not said by the parties to the conflict most times might be

more important than what they verbalise. Non-verbal messages are often unconscious for both

the Sender and the Receiver of the message, yet they affect the way in which the message is

interpreted. Example, when a speaker leans over you when speaking even if it is in a low voice,

you are likely to feel intimidated. Non-verbal communication can take the following forms:

� Facial expressions

� Body language

In conflict resolution, always find out the cultural interpretations attached to certain non-verbal

signals. For instance, in Western culture, looking people in the eye when speaking is interpreted

to be a sign of honesty and straightforwardness. Avoiding eye contact is a sign of lying or deceit.

However, in many African cultures, it is considered impolite and a sign of disrespect for a

younger person or a person of lesser status to look an older person or a person of higher status in

the eye.

Types of Non-verbal Communications

� Facial expressions – narrowed eyes are associated with hostility in many cultures, and

wide open eyes with warmth and interest.

Pa

ge7

9

� Body language – a closed body with arms crossed and a withdrawn posture is often

interpreted as defensive. A forward and open posture is often interpreted as positive.

� Distances between people – generally, people keep a boundary between themselves and

others. Moving closer transgresses the boundary. It can make the other person feel

uncomfortable or it can be interpreted as an expression of common identity.

� Silence – it can be used purposefully to make the other party uncomfortable. It could also

be supportive, to allow the other person to speak. It could be a sign that someone is

unable to speak because they feel intimidated or bound by protocol. It could also be used

to force the other person to continue speaking.

Reframing

Emotions are part of what the mediator would deal with during a conflict resolution process. This

is mainly because by the time the parties get to face each other across the table, their emotions

would be very highly charged and they are bound to use words that could jeopardise the process

if not well managed by the mediator. This means listening to a party’s hostile, angry, negative,

accusing, or demanding statement and translating that statement into a productive statement of

concern to which the mediator and the other party can respond. Reframing often entails focusing

the statement on the problem, and not on the persons involved. The mediator offers the parties a

different way of viewing the situation. It therefore helps to tone down an emotionally charged

response and make communication more constructive. Reframing is based on the idea that every

strong statement contains some underlying interest or concern that prompted the strong statement.

Also, the speaker usually wants to be heard and expects a constructive response to his or her

statement.

Skills in Reframing

� Listen to the statement

� Remove the inflammatory language

� Recognise the emotions involved and state who owns these emotions

� Try to understand the speaker’s interest(s) or concern(s).

Pa

ge8

0

� Restate the message as a concern about the problem, especially about meeting basic

needs.

Example in Reframing

Segun: Adebimpe has got a big mouth, and is a dirty liar!

Mediator: Segun, you seem upset, and you have a concern about people knowing the truth.

Segun: Right, she has been telling everyone that I am cheap and tight with my money, when in

fact for the past 2 months she has owed me 1000 Naira.

Mediator : It sounds like you are frustrated and would like a fair settlement of the money issue as

soon as possible.

Common Ground Statements

In our step three of peer mediation (focus on interests), the basic psychological needs for

belonging, power, freedom, and fun often surface as interests the parties have in common. In

order for the conflicting parties to come up with a win-win solution, it is important to direct the

parties’ minds to this common ground. It is often necessary that the mediator make this common

ground known because the parties are focused on their differences and do not hear the common

needs expressed. This the mediator does by making common ground statements.

Example:

Statement 1: I am sick of her always telling me what to do. She acts like my mother all the time.

Statement 2: He and his friends are jerks. They always put me and my friends down. They think

they own the school. They better stop, or else, I am going to mess them up.

Statement 3: Every time he sees me in the hall, he just stares at me like he wants to get into it

with me. He is not as great as he thinks he is. I want him out of my space.

Pa

ge8

1

Common ground statements derived from the above statements

� It sounds like you are both angry with a lack of respect shown towards each other, and

also both of you do not want to get into any further trouble.

� You have both stated that fair treatment and acceptance of your school group is important

to you.

� I hear you both saying that you have been friends in the past. Do you still want to be

friends?

� You have each stated that you think the other person is trying to control you. Is it

important for you to make your own choices?

Challenging

In some circumstances, it is appropriate for the mediator to question the ideas or attitudes of one

or both of the parties. This might occur if a party’s statements are put-downs of the other,

expressions of prejudice, threats, or unrealistic demands that could escalate the conflict. When

the mediator believes the party is out of line, s/he will need to challenge certain statements

respectfully and maintain neutrality. This can be done using the following skills:

� Wondering – this is a gentle way of challenging the party.

• Adebimpe: His hair is so messy, and he dresses so sloppy; I can see why he keeps

losing things – you should see his locker.

• Mediator: I am wondering how a discussion of clothes and hairstyles will help

settle this conflict.

� Reality Testing – this can be used to check the feasibility of ideas or plans:

• Adebimpe: I am going to the Board of Education, and I am going to sue the

school.

• Mediator: You have every right to be upset and to threaten the board with a

lawsuit. However, going to court takes time and may involve spending money. Are there

other steps to consider first?

Pa

ge8

2

Listening Skills

Listening to other people is a very important aspect of communication. This is especially true in

a conflict resolution process. There are ways of listening, which make the communication

process a more positive one, and which keep good two-way communication happening. Good

listening reduces the tension in the situation. Listen in an active and empathic manner.

� Active listening is paying attention to another person, signalling attention and

encouraging open communication from the other.

� Empathetic listening is about showing an understanding of the positions and feelings of

the speaker. This does not mean you agree with what is being said.

Benefits of active listening

The speaker

� Feels that the message is being heard.

� Feels that his/her feelings are understood.

� Feels that it is legitimate to have and express a viewpoint.

� Is encouraged to clarify his/her thinking.

� Has an opportunity to explore his/her own feelings and positions.

The listener

� Understands the other person’s point of view more fully.

� Can claim equal space and time to tell his/her side of the story.

� Develops a more active mind, through having to constantly think about all dimensions of

the message.

Rules for Active Listening

� Do not criticise or make judgments

Pa

ge8

3

� Ask questions about the story to clarify what is being said, or meant, but do not

interrogate the person.

� Restate the information to check the speaker’s meaning and your interpretation.

� Show you are listening by giving non-committal acknowledgements such as nodding

your head or saying “uh huh”. This encourages the person to keep on talking.

� Do not interrupt; change the subject of give advice.

� Focus your attention on the speaker’s story, do not mentally run through your own reply.

� Do not get emotionally hooked, or get angry, upset or argumentative. Keep your own

feelings in check. Watch out that you do not give non-verbal emotional responses.

� Acknowledge the value of the speaker’s issues and feelings, and show appreciation for

his or her telling of them, if this is appropriate.

Dealing with Anger: Adopted from by Schowrange 2007

How to Control your Anger

Everyone gets angry, upset and annoyed by something or someone. Often people closest to us,

our family, friends, classmates, can really provoke anger in us through their words or actions.

When we are not achieving a particular target we might get angry as well.

Anger if not dealt with effectively can escalate conflicts. When people cannot control their anger

they become aggressive. Being aggressive means to attack another person with your words or

your body. This includes fighting, shouting, name-calling, put-downs, and so on. Often

aggression provokes aggression. This means, the other disputant will react in a similarly

aggressive way, and the problem just gets worse.

If you want to learn how to control your anger you first have to know when you are

getting angry yourself and how you are usually reacting. Find out when you get angry.

Try to remember a situation when you were angry. What was the situation? What were the

reasons for your anger? What happened to your body when you were angry? How did you react?

Pa

ge8

4

When people are angry their body reacts. They breathe faster, blood pressure increases, the heart

beats faster, they sweat, some people speak louder or some people stammer. If you want to

control your anger you have to listen to your body at an early stage. Are you feeling tense? Are

you raising your voice? Are you sweating, breathing faster? When you notice that you are getting

angry, you can then try one of the following to calm yourself:

• Change your position. If you are standing, sit down.

• Go away from the scene. If you are inside, go out or change the room. Look for a place

where you can be quiet for some moments.

• Breathe in and count to 7, breathe out and count to 11. Deep and long breathing in and

even deeper and longer breathing out will help you to relax your body and reduce the

tensions.

• Drink something to cool your body system.

It is difficult to reflect and collaborate to resolve a conflict when your body is still

“tensed”. This is why you first should try to cool off before anything else. After cooling

down you should then start dealing with the conflict and express, what made you angry? If you

avoid speaking about your anger at all it can make you very depressed and no one ever knows

what you think and was and your anger may remain. People who ignore their anger look often

calm on the outside but are still angry inside. It is important to speak about your anger after

cooling off. Admit that you were angry and ask yourself why. And if you know exactly what you

want than you can ask for it without being aggressive. Speaking about your anger and the

sources of your anger makes it much more likely that the other will be able to cooperate with you.

How to Help an Angry Person

If you want to help an angry person, you first of all allow him or her to express his or her anger

with words. Don’t interrupt when the person is shouting and accusing someone.

Listen to the angry person. Never take sides. Do not allow yourself to be carried away by the

angry person or insist on telling him or her who is right and who is wrong. Try to take him or her

Pa

ge8

5

away form the scene of conflict to a quiet place. Offer a cup of water and allow the other to

decide when to speak about the problem.

Don’t push him or her by saying immediately: “Come on. What has happened? Why are you so

angry?”

Allow the angry person some moments of silence. When people are very angry and the conflict

is about to escalate, it is best to find a way to shift the attention of the disputants to something

else. When people start shouting aggressively at each other or even fighting, you can create a

distraction. Let something fall down to make noise, start singing, joking…anything to switch

their attention for just a few moments. These moments will help them to cool off. Then

immediately talk to them, try to take one of them away etc. restating facts and feelings could

help the other reflect on the problem and it also shows that you really try to understand the other.

The same method is helpful when you want to address an angry person. When you restate what

the other is feeling and what he or she said, avoid restating the insults, put-downs or threats. You

reduce the tension and the angry person will more open up more easily.

Aggressive statements often attack a person and not the problem. For example: “She is adirty

liar.” He is just stupid.” You are lazy.” You are dirty.”

But anyone making aggressive statements has some interests or concerns. When you restate the

interests, then you shift away from the person to the problem and reduce the aggressive attack on

the other party.

For example: (Speaker: S, Mediator: M)

S: “She is a liar and a coward”.

M: “You seem upset, and you want her to say the truth.”

S: “Right, she has been telling everyone that I must be a thief because I always have

money with me. It doesn’t have to concern her where I get my money from and how much I have.

She is just jealous. If she continues telling lies, I will beat her up.”

M: “It sounds like you are angry because of the rumours she spreads about your money.”

S: “Yes, if I hear it again, she will pay for it, I promise.”

Pa

ge8

6

M: “You are concerned that she continues spreading rumours and therefore you wish

that she stops it from now on.”

S: “Exactly.”

Prejudice and Stereotype: Taken Schowrange 2007

Nigeria is a country of great diversity. Living in Nigeria, we come in contact with many different

people with different backgrounds. In our relationship with all of the different people we meet,

we take note of people who are like us. A human being will select an individual or group that is

most like him/her. For example, being of the same ethnic group, being male or female, being of

the same religious faith, being of an age group, being fans of the same football club etc. We all

belong to many groups. We are born into some groups and cannot change, for example your

ethnic group or the colour of your skin or whether you are born as a man or a woman. We

become part of other groups at one time in our lives, for example: age, disability after an

accident. A third group is the one we choose to belong to and can change at will: religion,

political party, sporting group, marital status etc.

All groups have their differences as well as their similarities. We are all the same and we

are all unique. Depending on how well you are prepared to cope with the differences; your

relationship with people from other groups could be good or bad. Your attitude and behaviour

depends on your opinion about the other group. And your opinion is often influenced by

stereotypes.

Stereotypes

A stereotype can be defined as a learned generalisation, usually negative, true or false, about a

person or a group of people that has become fixed in the mind. Stereotypes affect people from

seeing others as unique individuals and are often used to judge people as inferiors, not having

the same value as other people.

Stereotypes are often expressed in “absolute” terms: “all”, “none”, “always”, “never” .

Pa

ge8

7

Some Examples:

• All Igbos love money too much.

• All Africans suffer from the cold.

• Muslims will never allow any Christian to enter a Mosque.

• White people are always disrespectful to black people.

• Old people are always slow.

• All People living with AIDS can never work well, because they are always sick.

• None of the Cameroonians is married to a Nigerian.

• None of the Christians has ever said anything good about Islam.

• Girls can never play football as well as boys.

• Hausas are always in the trading business.

• A disabled person can never become a politician.

• None of the Yoruba men in my class know how to cook.

• All Fulanis are cattle traders.

All human beings have the tendency to make generalisations about groups based on experiences

with one or two members of that group. These judgements and beliefs are always based on

incomplete information. And here lies the danger: a generalisation is a broad idea about a group

of people or things. What is experienced with a member of a 30 group is assumed to be true

about all other members of that group. They can easily form the basis of stereotypes. Example:

All Hausas are good traders. This could be true owing to the amount of Hausa we have seen

trading but could not be true also because there are some Hausa who do not even know how to

trade.

Prejudice

Prejudice is a conclusion reached without knowing the facts. It is a judgement we make either

through ideas about other groups that are fixed in our mind. It is often a statement we make

against a person or group of persons that lacks any proof yet we use it to judge the person or

group. Prejudices can be harmful, an example:

• John steals things from other people.

Pa

ge8

8

• John comes from Cameroon.

• Therefore, people from Cameroon are thieves.

• Peter is from Cameroon.

• Therefore, he must be a thief, too.

You know, that John comes from Cameroon and you are aware, that John has stolen

something. Based on this information you develop the stereotype, that all Cameroonians are

thieves. It becomes a fixed idea about Cameroonians in your mind. Whenever you meet a

Cameroonian now you judge him or her as a possible thief. We often develop stereotypes and

prejudices in our homes and from our parents, relatives and friends. Stereotypes and prejudices

are sometimes handed down from generation to generation and parents pass them on to their

children. For most of us, while we were growing up, our family members or people around us

warned us for example against eating food prepared by certain groups of people and also told us

not to play with certain groups of children. This caused us to change our attitude and behaviour

towards these people. Most of the times we try to use our own way of life to explain the action of

others. We try to make everyone fit into our way of life. Anyone who does not fit into our

worldview and does not behave the way all others do makes us conclude that their behaviour is

not “normal”. “Normal” is for us what we have learned to be. For example, in the Ghanaian

culture, upon offering a seat, one must make sure to offer a cup of drinking water to his/her guest.

So a Ghanaian entering the home of people who do not have this kind of culture could conclude

that they are not hospitable people simply because she/he was not offered a cup of water. The

Ghanaian may not realize that it is not the custom in the other

person’s culture to offer a cup of water to guests.

Stereotypes and prejudices can cause and keep conflict alive. They make us see people and

events differently from the way they may have actually happened. And thus we react based

on our stereotypes and prejudices instead of reality.

In order to reduce prejudice, generalisation, bias and stereotypes, we should do the

following:

Pa

ge8

9

• Acknowledge that they exist in our society. That because we all come from different

backgrounds, people will see and interpret things differently. It is therefore our duty to

clarify things about ourselves for others where they seem to have doubts.

• Learn to appreciate the strengths and weaknesses of yourself and others. We all have

different ways of responding to events and have our gifts in different areas. Do not use

your own lifestyle to judge others.

• Create a positive attitude towards people who are different from you. It is only by doing

this that they, too, will behave positively towards you.

• Talk to others about prejudices and biases you have against them and have them tell you

those they have against you also.

• Try to prove the validity or falsehood of them.

• Avoid making general and absolute statements. Avoid being judgemental. Avoid using

the words ‘all’, ‘none’, “always’, ‘never’ when you speak about a group of people: “ All

of them are …”, “They never….”, “ None of them…”, “They always….”

Exercise: The Exclusion Game

Aim:

To allow participants to experience exclusion and discrimination and to reflect on its impact.

Preparation:

Choose a place outside, not visible from the classroom. Then ask the participants questions such

as: “Who is from the dominant ethnical group? Or who was born in this town? Who was not

born in this town?” If all students are part of the dominant ethnical group and all of them were

born in the town, think about another question to have a majority and minority at the end or take

the smallest students out as a minority.

Exercise:

Tell members of the smaller group - the minority - to remain in the room. The members of the

larger group – the majority - should follow you. Guide them to the place you have chosen outside

and tell them that they should form a tight circle, linking arms, facing the outside of the circle.

Pa

ge9

0

Their task is not to let anybody enter the circle. They can resist by any means they wish, but

must not use violence. Then see the smaller group and tell the members, that their task is to try to

enter the circle. They may use any means they wish, but most not use violence. Usually the

students will first try to beg or to bargain or evento jump in, but after a while get frustrated.

Wait several minutes, until the smaller group’s efforts decrease, before you stop the exercise.

Ask the larger group, how they think they have performed and how they feel.

Answers may include: strong, united, better, not letting the other a chance etc. Then ask the

smaller group what approach they have tried and how they are feeling. Answers may include:

trying the best, not succeeding, sad, angry etc.

Input:

Prejudices can cause harm. When you act based on prejudices, the result is often

discrimination. To exclude someone, not letting him or her join you because he or she is

different, is a form of discrimination. This injustice makes people feeling sad, angry,

frustrated, annoyed and as a reaction they may become violent towards those who exclude

them.

Adapted form UNICEF, Education for Conflict Resolution

Exercise: The Island Game

Aim: To expose the students to prejudices and stereotypes. To teach how prejudices are

developed.

Materials: Photocopies of the exercise. One per participant. Ask the participants to do the

exercise on the next page first individually, than they should agree on a result as a small group.

The results of each group will be compared in the plenum at the end. Finally you give your input.

Pa

ge9

1

Exercise:

It has been decided to send a group of people to a recently discovered island 200 km south of

Lagos where they will live an isolated life in order to create a new society. Choose 22 of the

following 36 people to go to the island. Circle the number of each person you choose to go to the

island. Then in your small groups, tick the 22 people you agree on as a group.

1. A Lebanese Trader

2. An old woman

3. Maize farmer

4. Ex-Beauty Queen

5. Unemployed black teenager

6. Homosexual doctor

7. A Nigerian Rev. Sister

8. Disabled bank clerk

9. Retired teacher with walking stick

10. Methodist Minister

11. A Danfo-driver

12. Police officer

13. A white American Rev. Father

14. Yoruba drummer

15. A beggar with one arm

16. Imam

17. Pastor of ‘Christ’s Battle Axe Church’

18. Carpenter from distant area who speaks a language not well known

19. Barman

20. Hausa night guard

21. Pregnant school teacher

22. Engineer from Kano who is Moslem

23. Illiterate Farm Labourer

24. An accountant who was at a Catholic Seminary but dropped out

25. Female student of art

26. Muslim architect, expert on designing mosques

Pa

ge9

2

27. A traditional healer

28. A catholic man

29. Igbo traditional musician

30. A Fulani cattle trader

31. An Okada-driver

32. A cook from Niger Republic

33. An Italian woman

34. Cameroonian dancer

35. White South African businessman

36. Liberian refugee

Input:

Some of you have rejected some of the people. When you did this you were beingprejudiced:

judging someone based on very little information about the person. Youmade your judgements

based on stereotypes – the opinion you have about a group of people. But actually your

judgement is not fair, because you know very little about the person. Each person you have

rejected might have qualities you don’t know and might be very useful while others you took

without reflecting may not meet your expectations.

Therefore it is always dangerous to exclude people because of the group they belong to. You

have to find out who someone is, his or her strengths and weaknesses before you can judge the

person. For example the Ex-Beauty Queen (in case she was rejected): you don’t know her

profession, her age, her knowledge, her experiences etc. The only information you have is that

she participated once in her life in a beauty competition and she won. Is this enough to reject

her? Or take the Barman (in case he was rejected): you don’t know his age, his profession, his

knowledge, his experiences etc. All you know is that his job at the moment is to sell drinks.

Maybe he is an experienced but unemployed graduate at the moment that has a family, doing

this job to earn some money while looking for something else. (Bring some more examples in

the same sense. This will allow the students to understand the key messages better.)

Adapted from Training for Transformation, Book IV.

Pa

ge9

3

Concluding Thoughts:

Telling stories is quite fun and educative. In this session thirty stories has been included. The

concept is for the teacher to use the stories that best illustrate the theme that is discussed. We

conclude this manual by giving tips on how to tell stories taken from: Kreidler, W.J. & Whittall,

S.T. (1999)

TIPS FOR TELLING STORIES

If this is your first time telling stories, there are many things you can do to hone your skills. Try

any of the following:

• Read the story several times to yourself (both silently and out loud.)

• visual the story as if you were watching a movie of it

• Write an outline of the story to help you clarify the most important points and the

sequence of events.

• Think about how you want to represent each character and what kind of voices, facial

expressions, and body movements you will use.

• decide on the other variations you want to incorporate, such as speaking fast or slow,

loud or soft, or using pauses

• decide how to begin and end the story

• Choose which parts of the story you want to repeat verbatim. (Try to memorize only

repetitive rhymes and the beginning and end of the story

Story telling can be magical and fun. it is a powerful way to capture children’s you don’t have to

be encumbered with reading, showing pictures, and turning pages. You can see exactly how the

children are reacting to what you are saying.

Pa

ge9

4

Through stories, children get to stand in someone else’s shoes and try on a variety of new

experiences. They learn about the difficult challenges and wonderful adventures of other people

and, in so doing, develop a better understanding of stories can:

� Speak directly to young children’s emotions in a language they understand.

� If you think you’ll need it, write the parts you want to memorize on cards so you can jog

your memory right before you tell the story.

� Tell the story out loud without an audience (if you get stuck refer to your outline).

� Tell the story into a tape recorder or in front of a mirror

� Tell the story to one person.

STORIES FOR PEACE TRAINING

Story 1: A Blind Man Catches a Bird9

(A Ndebele Tale from Zimbabwe)

A young man married a woman whose brother was blind. The young man was eager to get to

know his new brother-in-law and so he asked him if he would like to go hunting with him. “I

cannot see,” the blind man said. “But you can help me see when we are out hunting together. We

can go.” The young man led the blind man off into the bush. At first they followed a path that he

knew and it was easy for the blind man to tag on behind the other.

After a while, though, they went off into thicker bush, where the trees grew closely together and

there were many places for animals to hide. The blind man now held on to the arm of his sighted

brother-in-law and told him many things about the sounds that they had heard around them.

Because he had no sight, he had a great ability to interpret the noises made by animals in the

9 MacDonald, M.(2005).

Pa

ge9

5

bush. “There are warthogs around,” he would say. “I can hear their noises over there.” Or, “That

bird is preparing to fly. Listen to the sound of its wings unfolding.” To the brother-in-law, these

sounds were meaningless, and he was most impressed at the blind man’s ability to understand the

bush although it must have been for him one great darkness.

They walked on for several hours, until they reached a place where they could set their traps. The

blind man followed the other’s advice, and put his trap in a place where birds might come for

water. The other man put his trap a short distance away, taking care to disguise it so that no bird

would know that it was there. He did not bother to disguise the blind man’s trap, as it was hot

and he was eager to get home to his new wife. The blind man thought that he dad disguised his

trap, but he did not see that he had failed to do so and any bird could tell that there was a trap

there.

They returned to their hunting place the next day. The blind man was excited at the prospect of

having caught something, and the young man had to tell him to keep quiet, or he would scare all

the animals away. Even before they had reached the traps, the blind man was able to tell that they

had caught something. “I can hear birds,” he said. “There are birds in the traps.” When he

reached his trap, the young man saw that he had caught a small bird. He took it out of the trap

and put it in a pouch that he had brought with him.

Then the two of them walked towards the blind man’s trap. “There’s a bird in it,” he said to the

blind man. “You have caught a bird too.” As he spoke, he felt himself filling with jealousy. The

blind man’s bird was marvelously colored, as if it had flown through a rainbow and been stained

by the colors. The feathers from a bird such as that would make a fine present for his new wife,

but the blind man had a wife too, and she would also want the feathers. The young man bent

down and took the blind man’s bird from the trap. Then, quickly substituting his own bird, he

passed it to the blind man and put the colored bird in his own pouch. “Here is your bird,” he said

to the blind man. “You may put it in your pouch.” The young man reached out for the bird and

took it. He felt it for a moment, his fingers passing over the wings and the breast. Then, without

saying anything, he put the bird into his pouch and they began the trip home.

Pa

ge9

6

On their way home, the two men stopped to rest under a broad tree. As they sat there, they talked

about many things. The young man was impressed with the wisdom of the blind man, who knew

a great deal, although he could see nothing at all. “Why do people fight with one another?” he

asked the blind man.

It was a question which had always troubled him and he wondered if the blind man could give

him an answer. The blind man said nothing for a few moments, but it was clear to the young man

that he was thinking. Then the blind man raised his head, and it seemed to the young man as if

the unseeing eyes were staring right into his soul. Quietly he gave his answer. “Men fight

because they do to each other what you have just done to me.”

The words shocked the young man and made him ashamed. He tried to think of a response, but

none came. Rising to his feet, he fetched his pouch, took out the brightly-colored bird and gave it

back to the blind man. The blind man took the bird, felt it over with his fingers, and smiled. “Do

you have any other questions for me?” he asked. “Yes,” said the young man. “How do men

become friends after they have fought?” The blind man smiled again. “They do what you have

just done,” he said. “That’s how they become friends again.”

The following 5 stories were taken from:

http://www.storytellingcenter.com/resources/articles/neile3.htm

Story 2: Water Not Wine: A Tale from Africa and China

retold by Elisa Pearmain

Once upon a time, the eldest and richest man in a village decided that it would be a good idea to

give a feast for all of the townspeople at the start of the event. "I will provide the feast," he said,

"if you will each bring a jug of wine."

"Of course, of course," they all agreed.

Pa

ge9

7

But as soon as they had parted, the youngest of the group was already cursing himself for having

agreed to part with one whole jug of wine. He did not have much wine in his stores, and he did

not want to spend money either. "There must be another way," he told his wife. And he sat down

to think.

After a while a smile crossed his face. "The other nine elders will pour their wine into the

common pot. Could one jug of water spoil so much wine?"

"Hardly so, my clever husband," she answered.

And so it was that on the day of the feast this man put on his finest robes, filled his jug with fresh

water from the well, and went to the party. On his way he met up with the other elders. They

were greeted at the party by the sounds of music playing, and the delicious smells of food

cooking. The host motioned for the elders to pour their jugs of wine into a great clay pot in the

courtyard.

First there was dancing and entertainment. Then the bell was rung and the guests were seated.

The elders sat together at the head table. The host ordered his servants to fill everyone's cups

with the wine. Each of the elders waited patiently for the last guest to be served. They were

anxious to taste the fine, refreshing wine.

The host gave the signal and the guests put their cupts to their lips. They sipped, and sipped

again. But what they tasted was not wine but water, for each of them had thought, "One jug of

water cannot spoil a great pot of wine." Each of them had filled his jug at the well.

They looked at each other sheepishly, avoiding the eyes of the host, and then continued to drink

as if it were the finest wine their lips had ever tasted.

That day a new saying arose among the people of the village, a saying that spread around the

world: "If you wish to take wine, you must give it also."

From Doorways to the Soul: 52 Wisdom Tales from Around the World, edited by Elisa Davy

Pearmain, Pilgrim Press, 1998, pp. 66-67. Author's note: Written versions of this story include

Pa

ge9

8

"The Feast," collected from the Bamum tribe, Cameroon, Africa, by H. Courlander, in The

King's Drum(New York: Harcourt, Brace & World, 1962), pp. 56-57, and "Ten Jugs of Wine,"

in Sweet and Sour: Tales from China, by Carol Kendall and Yoa-wen Li (New York: Clarion

Books, 1979), pp. 18-20.

Story 3: The Monk and the Samurai

Retold by John Porcino

There was once a samurai warrior who traveled to the distant home of an old monk. On arriving

he burst through the door and bellowed, "Monk, tell me! What is the difference between heaven

and hell?"

The monk sat still for a moment on the tatami-matted floor. Then he turned and looked up at the

warrior. "You call yourself a samurai warrior," he smirked. "Why, look at you. You're nothing

but a mere sliver of a man!"

"Whaaat!!" cried the samurai, as he reached for his sword.

"Oho!" said the monk. "I see you reach for your sword. I doubt you could cut off the head of a

fly with that."

The samurai was so infuriated that he could not hold himself back. He pulled his sword from its

sheath and lifted it above his head to strike off the head of the old monk. At this the monk looked

up into his seething eyes and said, "That, my son, is the gate to hell." Realizing that the monk

had risked his life to teach this lesson, the samurai slowly lowered his sword and put it back into

the sheath. He bowed low to the monk in thanks for this teaching.

"My friend," said the monk, "That is the gate to heaven."

Pa

ge9

9

Story 4: Not Our Problem: A Tale from Burma and Thailand

retold by Margaret Read MacDonald

The King sat with his Adviser eating honey on puffed rice. As they ate they leaned from the

palace window and watched the street below. They talked of this and that.

The King, not paying attention to what he was doing, Let a drop of honey fall onto the

windowsill.

"Oh sire, let me wipe that up," offered the Adviser. "Never mind," said the King.

"It is not our problem. The servants will clean it later."

As the two continued to dine on their honey and puffed rice, The drop of honey slowly began to

drip down the windowsill. At last it fell with a plop onto the street below.

Soon a fly had landed on the drop of honey and begun his own meal.

Immediately a gecko sprang from under the palace and with a flip of its long tongue swallowed

the fly.

But a cat had seen the gecko and pounced. Then a dog sprang forward and attacked the cat!

"Sire, there seems to be a cat and dog fight in the street. Should we call someone to stop it?"

"Never mind," said the King. "It's not our problem." So the two continued to munch their

honey and puffed rice.

Meanwhile the cat's owner had arrived and was beating the dog. The dog's owner ran up and

began to beat the cat. Soon the two were beating each other.

"Sire, there are two persons fighting in the street now. Shouldn't we send someone to break this

up?" The King lazily looked from the window. "Never mind. It's not our problem."

The friends of the cat's owner gathered and began to cheer him on. The friends of the dog's

owner began to cheer her on as well. Soon both groups entered the fight and attacked each other.

Pa

ge1

00

"Sire, a number of people are fighting in the street now. Perhaps we should call someone to

break this up." The King was too lazy even to look. You can guess what he said.

"Never mind. It's not our problem."

Now soldiers arrived on the scene. At first they tried to break up the fighting. But when they

heard the cause of the fight Some sided with the cat's owner. Others sided with the dog's owner.

Soon the soldiers too had joined the fight.

With the soldiers involved, the fight erupted into civil war. Houses were burned down. People

were harmed. And the palace itself was set afire and burned to the ground. The King and his

Adviser stood surveying the ruins. "Perhaps," said the King, "I was wrong? Perhaps the

drop of honey WAS our problem."

From Peace Tales: World Folktales to Talk About. c 1992 Margaret Read MacDonald (North

Haven CT: Linnet Books). Reprinted by permission of the publisher. All rights reserved.

Story 5: The Farmer and the Angel

Retold by John Porcino

There was once a very kind and joyful old farmer. He was ninety years old and, though his bones

were a wee bit weary, his eyes still sparkled with love and laughter. He was the kind who seemed

to know just what it took to make you smile, and when you needed to weep he'd sit by your side

and hold you. He was the kind who noticed the dew sparkling on a spider's web and knew the

taste of a juicy red strawberry. He was the kind who still at ninety worked hard every day on the

land, and when you needed a helping hand his sleeves were rolled ready to go.

One day, because of his goodness, he was visited by an angel who granted him a wish. The angel

said to the old man that anything he wanted would be his.

Now if you had one wish, what would it be? [Note: Asked to the audience.]

Pa

ge1

01

[The teller picks audience members:] "A million dollars!", "A castle by the sea!", "All the wishes

I want!", "A Lamborghini!"

The farmer could have wished for any of these things, but instead he said to the angel, "I am

happy with the bounty of food upon my plate and the love that surrounds me daily, but before I

die I should like just once to see heaven and hell."

The angel told him to take hold of her cloak and in an instant they arrived at the gates of hell.

To the surprise of the good man, when he passed through the gates he found himself on the edge

of a beautiful open green surrounded by tall graceful pine trees. As he walked toward the middle

of the green he saw many people seated around a great long table that was heaped high with the

most magnificent and delicious foods the man had ever seen. Yet as he drew near he saw that the

people looked sickly and thin, as if they were wasting away from starvation. How could this be?

Then he noticed that the people's arms were locked straight so that they could not bend them. It

was impossible for these people to feed themselves. "Achh," the man sighed, "this is truly hell."

Hastily he returned to the angel and took hold of her cloak. In another instant they arrived at the

gates of heaven.

Here too the good man found himself on the edge of a beautiful open green surrounded by tall

majestic pine trees. He walked toward the middle of the green and saw many people seated

around a great long table that was heaped high with the most wonderful and delicious foods. As

he drew near the man saw that the people's arms were locked straight so they could not be bent.

Yet these people were smiling and laughing. Their eyes danced with a merry delight and their

stomachs seemed joyfully content. How was this possible? The good man looked closer and he

saw: the people of heaven were feeding each other! "Ah yes," smiled the good man with a

knowing nod of his head, "this, this is truly heaven."

Reprinted with permission from Spinning Tales, Weaving Hope: Stories of Peace, Justice & the

Environment, edited by Ed Brody, Jay Goldspinner, Katie Green, Rona Leventhal, and John

Porcino, New Society Publishers, 1992, pp. 113-114. New edition 2002

Pa

ge1

02

Story 6: The Tiger's whisker

AN old hermit lived in the Lun Mountains of Korea. Many people sought his advice for he was

a font of wisdom and was knowledgeable in the magical arts. One day, a woman came and

pleaded with him to help her regain her husband’s affection.

"He was so loving and caring before he left for the wars," she explained. "He has returned after

three years but now he is cold and aloof." "War does these things to men," said the hermit.

"They say you can make a potion that can kindle love in the person who consumes it," said the

woman. "I could make such a potion, it is true, but I lack one of the ingredients that go into its

making." "What is this ingredient?" asked the woman. "It is a tiger’s whisker." The woman left

promising to get what he wanted.

The very next day she went in search of a tiger and finally saw one on the banks of a river. The

tiger snarled when he saw her and she retreated. She returned to the spot the next day. Again

the tiger snarled and again she retreated. But she kept going to the place and gradually the

animal got used to her presence and stopped snarling. She began to bring him food. In course

of time the tiger became so friendly that he would come right up to her to take the food. One

day she timidly reached out and patted his head. A few days later she ran her hand down the

side of his face. And then one day she deftly pulled out one of his whiskers. She rushed to the

hermit’s house with the whisker. "I’ve got it!" she said, triumphantly. "Good," said the hermit.

He took the whisker to the fireplace and dropped it into the fire. "W-what have you done!" said

the woman, aghast. "You promised to make me a magic potion!" "You don’t need one," said the

hermit, softly. "Tell me, how did you win the tiger’s affection? Through gentleness and a great

deal of patience. Would a man be less responsive than a savage and blood thirsty beast? Go and

win over your husband as you did the tiger." The woman turned over what the hermit had said, in

her mind as she slowly made her way home. When she saw her husband her first instinct was to

turn away, then remembering the tiger and the hermit’s words, she checked herself and moved

forward, a smile on her face.

Pa

ge1

03

Story 7: A Caterpillar's Voice

(Maasai: East Africa)

Once upon a time a caterpillar crawled inside a hare's house when the hare was away, and set

about making himself comfortable. When the hare returned home, he noticed new marks on the

ground going into the cave. He called, "Who's in my house?"

The caterpillar boomed out in a loud voice, "It is I! Yes, I who crushes rhinos to the earth and

tramples elephants into dust!" The hare hopped about, crying, "What can a small animal like me

do with a creature who crushes rhinos and tramples elephants?"

He soon met a jackal, and asked the jackal to talk to the terrible creature who had taken

possession of his home and to convince him to leave. The jackal agreed, and when they reached

the place, he barked loudly and said, "Who is in the house of my friend the hare?"

The caterpillar replied in a voice that rocked the earth, "It is I! Yes, I who crushes rhinos to the

earth, and tramples elephants into dust!" On hearing this the jackal thought, "Certainly I can do

nothing against such a creature," and he quickly left. The hare then fetched a leopard, and he

begged the leopard to help him. The leopard assured the hare it would be no trouble at all. On

reaching the spot, the leopard bared his claws and growled, "Who is in the house of my friend

the hare?" The caterpillar replied in the same manner as he had done before. The leopard was

alarmed and thought, "If he crushes rhinos and elephants, I don't even want to think about what

he could do to me!"

Next the hare sought out the rhinoceros. "No doubt, I am the most fearsome of beasts," grunted

the rhino. The rhino marched to the hare's cave, where he snorted and pawed the ground with his

massive feet. But when the rhino asked who was inside and heard the caterpillar's booming reply,

he thought, "What, he says he can crush me to the earth?" And the rhino thundered away,

crashing through the forest.

Growing frantic, the hare tried the elephant, and asked him to come to his assistance. But like the

Pa

ge1

04

others, on hearing what the caterpillar had to say, the elephant knew that he had no wish to be

trampled underfoot like dust, and stomped off. In despair by this point, the hare asked a frog

passing by if he could possibly make the creature who had frightened all the other animals leave

his house. The frog went to the cave door and asked who was inside. He received the same reply

as had been given to the others. Then the frog went nearer and shouted, "I, who am the strongest

of all, have come at last. I am the one who crushes those who crush the rhinos! I am the one who

tramples underfoot those who trample the elephants!"

When the caterpillar inside the hare's cave heard this, he trembled. He sensed the shadow of the

frog coming nearer and thought, "After all, I am only a caterpillar!" And the caterpillar inched

out of the hare's den along its edge, trying not to be noticed.

The animals who had collected around the hare's house seized the caterpillar and dragged him

out. "What, you?" they all cried in disbelief. "I would never dream of staying in that cave!" said

the caterpillar with his nose in the air. "An echo like that is far too crude for a refined creature

like myself!" As he sniffed away, all the other animals laughed at the trouble he had given

http://www.storiestogrowby.com/stories/caterpillar_africa_masai.html

Story 8: The Teacher and the Three Disciples

There was once a religious teacher who wanted to make sure that his three disciples would, after

his death, find the right teacher of the Way for them. He therefore, after the obligatory bequests

laid down by law, left his disciples seventeen camels, with this order: “You will divide the

camels among the three of you in the following proportions: The oldest shall have half, the

middle in age one-third, and the youngest shall have one-ninth.” As soon as he was dead and the

will was read, the disciples were at first amazed at such an inefficient disposition of the Master’s

assets. One said, “Let us own the camels communally.” Another sought advice and then said, “I

have been told to make the nearest division.” Another was told by a judge to sell the camels and

Pa

ge1

05

divide the money. A second judge held that the will was null and void because its provisions

could not be executed.

They then fell to thinking that there might be some hidden wisdom in the Master’s bequest, so

they made inquiries as to who could solve insoluble problems. Everyone they tried failed, until

they arrived at the door of the son-in-law of the Prophet, Hazrat Ali. He said: “This is your

solution. I will add one camel to the number. Out of the eighteen camels you will give half – nine

camels – to the oldest disciple. The second shall have a third of the total, which is six camels.

The last disciple may have one ninth, which is two camels. That makes seventeen. One – my

camel – is left over to be returned to me.” That is how the disciples found their teacher for them.

Story 9: What is Peace? By Arun Gandhi

An ancient Kalabari King who was obsessed with the desire to find the meaning of peace. What

is peace and how can we get it and when we find it what should we do with it were some of the

issues that bothered him. Intellectuals in his kingdom were invited to answer the King's questions

for a handsome reward. Many tried but none could explain how to find peace and what to do

with it. At last someone said the King ought to consult the sage who lived just outside the

borders of his Kingdom:

"He is an old man and very wise," the King was told. "If anyone can answer your questions he

can." The King went to the sage and posed the eternal question. Without a word the sage went

into the kitchen and brought a grain of wheat to the King. "In this you will find the answer to

your question," the Sage said as he placed the grain of wheat in the King's outstretched palm.

Puzzled but unwilling to admit his ignorance the King clutched the grain of wheat and returned

to his palace. He locked the precious grain in a tiny gold box and placed the box in his safe. Each

morning, upon waking, the King would open the box and look at the grain to seek an answer but

could find nothing.

Pa

ge1

06

Weeks later another sage, passing through, stopped to meet the King who eagerly invited him to

resolve his dilemma. The King explained how he had asked the eternal question and this sage

gave him a grain of wheat instead. "I have been looking for an answer every morning but I find

nothing”.

The Sage said: "It is quite simple, your honor. Just as this grain represents nourishment for the

body, peace represents nourishment for the soul. Now, if you keep this grain locked up in a gold

box it will eventually perish without providing nourishment or multiplying. However, if it is

allowed to interact with the elements - light, water, air, and soil - it will flourish, multiply and

soon you would have a whole field of wheat which will nourish not only you but so many others.

This is the meaning of peace. It must nourish your soul and the souls of others; it must multiply

by interacting with the elements."

The following stories: Aesop’s Fables

Story 10: The North Wind and the Sun

THE NORTH WIND and the Sun disputed as to which was the most powerful, and agreed that

he should be declared the victor who could first strip a wayfaring man of his clothes. The North

Wind first tried his power and blew with all his might, but the keener his blasts, the closer the

Traveler wrapped his cloak around him, until at last, resigning all hope of victory, the Wind

called upon the Sun to see what he could do. The Sun suddenly shone out with all his warmth.

The Traveler no sooner felt his genial rays than he took off one garment after another, and at last,

fairly overcome with heat, undressed and bathed in a stream that lay in his path. Persuasion is

better than Force.

Story 11: Two Roads Overcame the Hyena

A very hungry hyena went out on a savanna plain to hunt for food. He came to a branch in the

bush road where the two paths veered off in different directions. He saw two goats caught in the

thickets at the far end of each of the two different paths. With his mouth watering in anticipation,

Pa

ge1

07

he decided that his left leg would follow the left path and his right leg the right path. As the two

paths continued to veer in different directions he tried to follow them both at once. Finally he

split in two.

Story 12: The Two Cold Rodents (with Quills and Spines)

One cold night two Rodents with sharp spines found themselves alone out on the plains. There

was no shelter or place to keep warm. They only had their body heat. But they were scared that if

they stood too close together during the night one could prick and even kill the other by mistake.

After experimenting they found the right distance to stand next to each other. They were close

enough together that their bodies gave heat to each other, but far enough apart that they would

not prick each other during the night.

Story 13: The Boy and the Filberts

A BOY put his hand into a pitcher full of filberts. He grasped as many as he could possibly hold,

but when he tried to pull out his hand, he was prevented from doing so by the neck of the pitcher.

Unwilling to lose his filberts, and yet unable to withdraw his hand, he burst into tears and bitterly

lamented his disappointment. A bystander said to him, "Be satisfied with half the quantity, and

you will readily draw out your hand." Do not attempt too much at once.

Story 14: The Mouse, the Frog, and the Hawk

A MOUSE who always lived on the land, by an unlucky chance formed an intimate

acquaintance with a Frog, who lived for the most part in the water. The Frog, one day intent on

mischief, bound the foot of the Mouse tightly to his own. Thus joined together, the Frog first of

all led his friend the Mouse to the meadow where they were accustomed to find their food. After

this, he gradually led him towards the pool in which he lived, until reaching the very brink, he

suddenly jumped in, dragging the Mouse with him. The Frog enjoyed the water amazingly, and

Pa

ge1

08

swam croaking about, as if he had done a good deed. The unhappy Mouse was soon suffocated

by the water, and his dead body floated about on the surface, tied to the foot of the Frog. A Hawk

observed it, and, pouncing upon it with his talons, carried it aloft. The Frog, being still fastened

to the leg of the Mouse, was also carried off a prisoner, and was eaten by the Hawk. Harm hatch,

harm catch.

Story 15: The Lion and the Boar

ON A SUMMER DAY, when the great heat induced a general thirst among the beasts, a Lion

and a Boar came at the same moment to a small well to drink. They fiercely disputed which of

them should drink first, and were soon engaged in the agonies of a mortal combat. When they

stopped suddenly to catch their breath for a fiercer renewal of the fight, they saw some Vultures

waiting in the distance to feast on the one that should fall first.

Story 16: Origin of Death Myth of the Chameleon and the Lizard

When God had finished creation he wanted to send people an important message. He called the

chameleon to go and tell them that after death they will return to life. The lizard had

eavesdropped. However, she had misunderstood what the chameleon was told. She ran quickly to

tell people what she thought she had heard God say: "After death there is no return." The agile

lizard had long reached the people when the chameleon was still on his way. People thought the

lizard's message natural and a matter of fact. When at last the chameleon arrived and delivered

God's message, people ridiculed him and said: "You stupid chameleon, we already know that we

are all going to die and that death is the end of everything."

Story 17: The Community of Rats

Once upon a time there was a community of rats in a certain African village. In one particular

house a big and mean cat terrorized the rats. They decided to work together and build a small but

Pa

ge1

09

strong hole that they could easily enter, but the bigger cat couldn't. After finishing and testing the

hole the rats were very pleased by their teamwork and cooperation together. But then at a

community meeting one rat said: "The cat himself can't go into the hole but he can still catch us

as we enter and leave the hole. Who is going to tie a bell around the cat's neck to warn us when

he is approaching?" Everyone was silent. All were afraid. While they succeeded in building the

hole together, no one was ready to sacrifice himself or herself to tie the bell.

Story 18: The Fisherman Piping

A FISHERMAN skilled in music took his flute and his nets to the seashore. Standing on a

projecting rock, he played several tunes in the hope that the fish, attracted by his melody, would

of their own accord dance into his net, which he had placed below. At last, having long waited in

vain, he laid aside his flute, and casting his net into the sea, made an excellent haul of fish.

Story 19: The Wolf and the Lamb

WOLF, meeting with a Lamb astray from the fold, resolved not to lay violent hands on him, but

to find some plea to justify to the Lamb the Wolf's right to eat him. He thus addressed him:

"Sirrah, last year you grossly insulted me." "Indeed," bleated the Lamb in a mournful tone of

voice, "I was not then born." Then said the Wolf, "You feed in my pasture." "No, good sir,"

replied the Lamb, "I have not yet tasted grass." Again said the Wolf, "You drink of my well."

"No," exclaimed the Lamb, "I never yet drank water, for as yet my mother's milk is both food

and drink to me." Upon which the Wolf seized him and ate him up, saying, "Well! I won't remain

supperless, even though you refute every one of my imputations."

Story 20: The Labourer and the Snake

A SNAKE, having made his hole close to the porch of a cottage, inflicted a mortal bite on the

Cottager's infant son. Grieving over his loss, the Father resolved to kill the Snake. The next day,

when it came out of its hole for food, he took up his axe, but by swinging too hastily, missed its

head and cut off only the end of its tail. After some time the Cottager, afraid that the Snake

Pa

ge1

10

would bite him also, endeavoured to make peace, and placed some bread and salt in the hole. The

Snake, slightly hissing, said: "There can henceforth be no peace between us; for whenever I see

you I shall remember the loss of my tail, and whenever you see me you will be thinking of the

death of your son."

Story 21: The Piglet, the Sheep, and the Goat

A YOUNG PIG was shut up in a fold-yard with a Goat and a Sheep. On one occasion when the

shepherd laid hold of him, he grunted and squeaked and resisted violently. The Sheep and the

Goat complained of his distressing cries, saying, "He often handles us, and we do not cry out."

To this the Pig replied, "Your handling and mine are very different things. He catches you only

for your wool, or your milk, but he lays hold on me for my very life."

Story 22: The Man and the Lion

A MAN and a Lion traveled together through the forest. They soon began to boast of their

respective superiority to each other in strength and prowess. As they were disputing, they passed

a statue carved in stone, which represented "a Lion strangled by a Man." The traveler pointed to

it and said: "See there! How strong we are, and how we prevail over even the king of beasts."

The Lion replied: "This statue was made by one of you men. If we Lions knew how to erect

statues, you would see the Man placed under the paw of the Lion."

Story 23: How the Monkeys Saved the Fish

The rainy season that year had been the strongest ever and the river had broken its banks. There

were floods everyhere and the animals were all running up into the hills. The floods came so fast

that many drowned except the lucky monkeys who used their proverbial agility to climb up into

the treetops. They looked down on the surface of the water where the fish were swimming and

gracefully jumping out of the water as if they were the only ones enjoying the devastating flood.

Pa

ge1

11

One of the monkeys saw the fish and shouted to his companion: "Look down, my friend, look at

those poor creatures. They are going to drown. Do you see how they struggle in the water?"

"Yes," said the other monkey. "What a pity! Probably they were late in escaping to the hills

because they seem to have no legs. How can we save them?" "I think we must do something.

Let's go close to the edge of the flood where the water is not deep enough to cover us, and we

can help them to get out."

So the monkeys did just that. They started catching the fish, but not without difficulty. One by

one, they brought them out of the water and put them carefully on the dry land. After a short time

there was a pile of fish lying on the grass motionless. One of the monkeys said, "Do you see?

They were tired, but now they are just sleeping and resting. Had it not been for us, my friend, all

these poor people without legs would have drowned."

The other monkey said: "They were trying to escape from us because they could not understand

our good intentions. But when they wake up they will be very grateful because we have brought

them salvation."

Story 24: The Donkey and the Small dog

A MAN had a Donkey, and a small Dog a very great beauty. The Donkey was left in a stable and

had plenty of oats and hay to eat, just as any other Donkey would. The Small Dog knew many

tricks and was a great favourite with his master, who often fondled him and seldom went out to

dine without bringing him home some titbit to eat. The Donkey, on the contrary, had much work

to do in grinding the corn-mill and in carrying wood from the forest or burdens from the farm.

He often lamented his own hard fate and contrasted it with the luxury and idleness of the Small

Dog, till at last one day he broke his cords and halter, and galloped into his master's house,

kicking up his heels without measure, and frisking and fawning as well as he could. He next tried

to jump about his master as he had seen the Small Dog do, but he broke the table and smashed all

the dishes upon it to atoms. He then attempted to lick his master, and jumped upon his back.

Pa

ge1

12

The servants, hearing the strange hubbub and perceiving the danger of their master, quickly

relieved him, and drove out the Donkey to his stable with kicks and clubs and cuffs.

Story 25: The Three Tradesmen

A GREAT CITY was besieged, and its inhabitants were called together to consider the best

means of protecting it from the enemy. A Bricklayer earnestly recommended bricks as affording

the best material for an effective resistance. A Carpenter, with equal enthusiasm, proposed

timber as a preferable method of defence. Upon which a Currier stood up and said, "Sirs, I differ

from you altogether: there is no material for resistance equal to a covering of hides; and nothing

so good as leather."

Story 26: The Widow and Her Little Maidens

A WIDOW who was fond of cleaning had two little maidens to wait on her. She was in the habit

of waking them early in the morning, at cockcrow. The maidens, aggravated by such excessive

labour, resolved to kill the cock who roused their mistress so early. When they had done this,

they found that they had only prepared for themselves greater troubles, for their mistress, no

longer hearing the hour from the cock, woke them up to their work in the middle of the night.

.

Story 27: The Gamecocks and the Partridge

A MAN had two Gamecocks in his poultry-yard. One day by chance he found a tame Partridge

for sale. He purchased it and brought it home to be reared with his Gamecocks. When the

Partridge was put into the poultry-yard, they struck at it and followed it about, so that the

Partridge became grievously troubled and supposed that he was thus evilly treated because he

was a stranger. Not long afterwards he saw the Cocks fighting together and not separating before

one had well beaten the other. He then said to himself, "I shall no longer distress myself at being

struck at by these Gamecocks, when I see that they cannot even refrain from quarreling with

each other."

Pa

ge1

13

Story 28: The Father and His Two Daughters

A MAN had two daughters, the one married to a gardener, and the other to a tile-maker. After a

time he went to the daughter who had married the gardener, and inquired how she was and how

all things went with her. She said, "All things are prospering with me, and I have only one wish,

that there may be a heavy fall of rain, in order that the plants may be well watered." Not long

after, he went to the daughter who had married the tile maker, and likewise inquired of her how

she fared; she replied, "I want for nothing, and have only one wish, that the dry weather may

continue, and the sun shine hot and bright, so that the bricks might be dried." He said to her, "If

your sister wishes for rain, and you for dry weather, with which of the two am I to join my

wishes?'

Story 29: The Donkey and His Shadow

A TRAVELER hired a Donkey to convey him to a distant place. The day being intensely hot,

and the sun shining in its strength, the Traveler stopped to rest, and sought shelter from the heat

under the Shadow of the Donkey. As this afforded only protection for one, and as the Traveller

and the owner of the Donkey both claimed it, a violent dispute arose between them as to which

of them had the right to the Shadow. The owner maintained that he had let the Donkey only, and

not his Shadow. The Traveler Donkeyerted that he had, with the hire of the Donkey, hired his

Shadow also. The quarrel proceeded from words to blows, and while the men fought, the Donkey

galloped off.

Story 30: The Story of the Rainbow

Once upon a time, the colours started to quarrel; each claimed to the best, the most

important, the most useful and the favourite. Green said: “Clearly I am the most important. I am

the sign of life and of hope. I was chosen for grass, trees and leaves – without me all the animals

would die. Look out over the countryside and you will see that I am in the majority.”

Pa

ge1

14

Blue interrupted: “You only think about the earth, but consider the sky and the sea. It is water

that is the basis of life and this is drawn up by the clouds from the blue sea. The sky gives space

and peace and serenity. Without my peace you would all be nothing but busybodies.”

Yellow smiled and said: “You are all so serious. I bring laughter and warmth into the world.

The sun is yellow, the moon is yellow, and the stars are yellow. Every time you look at a

sunflower the whole world starts to smile. Without me there would be no fun.”

Orange started next: “I am the colour of health and strength. I may be scarce, but I am

precious for I serve the inner needs of human life. I carry all the most important vitamins. Think

of carrots and oranges, mangoes and paw paws. I don’t hang around all the time, but when I fill

the sky at sunrise or sunset, my beauty is so striking that no one gives another thought to any of

you.”

Red could stand it no longer and shouted out: “I’m the ruler of you all, blood, life is blood. I

am the colour of danger, passion and love. I am willing to fight for a cause. I bring fire in the

blood. Without me the earth would be empty as the moon.

Purple rose up to his full height and spoke with great pomp: “I am the colour of

royalty and power. Kings, chiefs and bishops have always chosen me for I am a sign of authority

and wisdom. People do not question me – they listen and obey.”

Indigo spoke much more quietly than all the others, but just as determinedly:

“Think of me. I am the colour of silence. You hardly notice me, but without me, you all become

superficial. I represent thought and reflection, twilight and deep waters. You need me for

balance and contrast, for prayer and inner peace.”

And so the colours went on arguing, each convinced of being the best. Their quarrel

became louder and louder. Suddenly there was a flash of brilliant white lightning; thunder rolled

and boomed. Rain started to fall down heavily. The colours all crouched down in fear, drawing

close to one another for comfort.

Pa

ge1

15

Then the Rain spoke: “You foolish colours, fighting among yourselves, each trying to dominate

the rest. Do you know that God made you all? Each of you for a special, unique and different

purpose. God loves you all. God wants you all. Join hands with one another and come with me.

God will stretch you across the sky in a great bow of colour, as are minder that God loves you

all, that you can live together in peace; a sign of hope for tomorrow.”

Based on an Indian legend, adapted from Anne Hope, in: Training for Transformation, Book I, S.

151

Story 31: The Cracked Pot

A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole, which he carried

across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always

delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house,

the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full 2 years this went on daily, with the bearer

delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master’s house. Of course the perfect pot

was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor

cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish

only half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, the cracked pot spoke to the

water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.”

“Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?” “I have been able, for these past two

years to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the

way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you

don’t get full value from your efforts,” the cracked pot said. The water bearer felt sorry for the

old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said: “As we return to the master’s house, I want you

to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.” Indeed as they went up the hill, the old cracked

pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path. But at the

end of the trail, it still felt bad because it that leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized

to the bearer for its failure.

Pa

ge1

16

The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side

of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw,

and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while

we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For 2 years I have been able to pick these

beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he

would not have this beauty to grace his house.”

Based on an Indian legend

Pa

ge1

17

References:

ACCORD (2002). Transforming Conflict: seeking African Solutions to African Challenges through a Participatory Learning Process. African Centre for the Constructive Resolution of Disputes (ACCORD): Durban.

Anne, H and Sally, T. (1999). Training for Transformation, Book 1-3, Mambo Press, Gweru, Zimbabwe, Anne, H and Sally, T. (1999). Training for Transformation, Book 4, ITDG, London 1999.

Bezić, I., Hart, B., and Uzelac, M. (1996). Opening the Door to Nonviolence: Pre Education

Manual for Primary Schools in Croatia, (CARE and UNICEF) 1996.

CARITAS (2002). Peacebuilding: A Caritas Training Manual. Caritas International 2002 Vatican City

CHDST (2005). Baseline Study for the Protect Our Future Project. CHDST: Port Harcourt

COE (2008) Compasito - Manual on Human Rights Education for Children. Council of Europe Publishing: Budapest

Fredericks, L. (1996). Using Stories to Prevent Violence and Promote Cooperation. Colorado School Mediation Project: 1996

Fletcher, R. (1986). Teaching Peace: Skills for Living in a Globalised Society. Harper & row: New York

HRW (1999).The Price of Oil: Corporate Responsibility and Human Rights Violations in

Nigeria’s Oil Producing Communities. www.hww.org/reports/1999/nigeria

ICG (2006) Various Africa Report in 2006

Nigeria: Want in the Midst of Plenty - Africa Report N°113 19 July 2006 The Swamps of Insurgency: Nigeria’s Delta Unrest, Africa Report N°115 3 August 2006.

Fuelling the Niger Delta Crisis – Africa Report N°118 28 September 2006

http://www.crisisgroup.org/home/index.cfm

Kreidler, W.J. & Whittall, S.T. (1999). Adventures in Peace Building: A Conflict Resolution Activity Guide for Early Educators. Educators for Social Responsibility: Cambridge

Pa

ge1

18

Lieber, C.M. (1998). Conflict Resolution in the High School: 36 Lessons. Educators for Social Responsibility: Cambridge.

MacDonald, M.(2005). Peace Tales: World Folktales to Talk About. A Linnet Book: Atlanta

Mbachu, (2006). The Poverty of Oil Wealth in Nigeria’s Delta. In for ISN Security Watch (03/02/06)

Moral Foundations for Democracy (2009). A Human Development Programme Handbook for Facilitators editor: Keith Neal Initiatives of Change Denmark: Frederiksberg

Navarro- Castro, L & Nario-Galace, J. (2008). Peace Education: A Pathway to a Culture of Peace. Centre for Peace Education. Quezon City

Neal, K. ed (2006). Handbook for Trainers. Moral Foundations for Democracy: Freetown

Okonta, I., & Oronto, D., (2001). Where Vultures Feast: Shell, Human Rights and Oil in the

Niger Delta. San Francisco: Sierra Club Books

Onuoha, A. (2005). From Conflict to Collaboration: Building Peace in Nigeria’s Oil-Producing

Communities. Adonis and Abbey: London.

O'Neill T. (2007). Nigerian Oil, Curse of the Black Gold. February 2007 Edition. National

Geographic Magazine

Quaker peace Centre 2002. The South African Handbook of Education for Peace. Cape Town

Rummel, R.J. (2001). Understanding Conflict and War. Beverly Hills, California: Sage Publications

Perlstein, R & Thrall,G. (1996) Ready to Use Conflict Resolution Activities for Secondary

Students. Jossey Bass

Salomon & Nevo 2002 Salomon, G. & Nevo, B. (2002) Peace education. The concept, principles, and practices around the world. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.

Sande C, 1997. The Young Peace Maker: Teaching Students to Respond to Conflict God’s Way. Shepherd Press: wapwallopen

Solomon, G. (2007). Challenging Questions Facing Peace Education in Regions of Conflict. In S. Clarke-Habibi (Ed.), Education for a civilization of peace: Proceedings of the 2007 International

Pa

ge1

19

Education for peace conference (pp.67-74). Vancouver, Canada: International Education for Peace Institute.

Schmidt, F & Friedman (1993) Peacemaking Skills for Little Kids. Grace Contrino Abrams Foundation: Miami

Schowrange, C. (2007). Peace Education Manual for Schools. Ibadan. JDPC

Schrumpf, F., Crawford, D.; and Bodine, J. (1997). Peer Mediation: Conflict Resolution in

Schools. Research Press: Champaign

Schrumpf, F., Crawford, D.; and Bodine, J, (2002). Creating the Peaceable School: A

Comprehensive Program for Teaching Conflict Resolution. Research Press: Champaign

UNICEF (1997.), Education for Conflict Resolution – Training for Trainers Manual. UNICEF, New York,

UNICEF (2004). Knowing and Living Our Rights, Manual for Children’s Right Education in Primary School. UNESCO: Paris

United Nations Human Development Programme. (2000). Human development report. New York: UNDP

Verdiani. A. (2002). Best Practices of Non-Violent Conflict Resolution in and Out-of-School UNESCO: Paris

Zipes, J. (1996). Aesop ‘s Fables. Penguin Books: London