ISSUE 157 APRIL 2020 Presidents Message 1 Volunteer 2 Profile 3 AGM Report/Photos/Notices 4-5 Fitness 6 Notices 7 Flyer 8 Garden 9 Simcoe Readers 10 Jokes, article, Ads 11-13 Winners 14 Calendar 15 Did you know we have a Facebook page? Check it out at BWG Seniors Association President’s Message I never thought I would write a message under these extraordinary circumstances. The Town of Bradford will tell us when we can re- open the Danube Centre, which could be well past April the 6th. In the meantime, let’s all follow the guidelines provided by the authorities. Stay safe, stay healthy so when things are back to normal, we can again enjoy each other’s company and the many programs at the Danube Centre. --Elke The Danube Seniors Leisure Centre: 715 Simcoe Rd., Bradford ON L3Z 4B4 Phone: 905 775-0612 Web Page: danubeseniors.club Email: [email protected]Facebook: BWG Seniors Association Inside this Issue
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I never thought I would write a message under these extraordinary circumstances. The Town of Bradford will tell us when we can re-open the Danube Centre, which could be well past April the 6th. In the meantime, let’s all follow the guidelines provided by the authorities. Stay safe, stay healthy so when things are back to normal, we can again enjoy each other’s company and the many programs at the Danube Centre. --Elke
The Danube Seniors Leisure Centre: 715 Simcoe Rd., Bradford ON L3Z 4B4 Phone: 905 775-0612 Web Page: danubeseniors.club
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet. “How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something. “The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck. “The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
NOTICES
We will let you know when we
are able to re-open and
continue with our programs.
Until then no programs will be
scheduled.
Useful Internet Link
Do you like to do online crossword puzzles’? Here’s a link with lots of
selection: (ctrl +click)
https://www.boatloadpuzzles.com/playcross
word
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A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it." He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away.
Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called."
Have you ever ventured out to the back of the Danube Centre? Did you know that there’s a garden out
there?
The garden was started in 1998 (the year the Centre opened), when Chris (Burlton) and a co-op student
dug out most of the weeds by hand. The next year, Bill Bishop began tilling the garden. For several
years, he planted long rows of potatoes for luncheons at the centre (see photo). Eventually, the long row
was divided into plots. Bill Bishop tilled the plots for everyone in the spring and in the fall after he spread
manure (from a friend's farm) as well as many green garbage bags of leaves (gathered at his home in
Bond Head), and, for a time, compostable materials from the Danube kitchen. For many years, he would
load a huge tiller onto his trailer, unload it at the Danube garden, work in the manure and leaves, then
load the tiller back on the trailer to take home. It’s quite likely that plot owners had no idea of the work
that went into preparing the garden and just assumed the "Good Fairy" came and dug it up
overnight! Those of us who know better are very grateful for Bill’s dedication.
The late President Gerry Slykhuis built the wooden compost bin that is still used by the gardeners—and
a very lovely garter snake who makes occasional appearances on warm, sunny afternoons (no photo
available).
The garden has grown over the years to what it is today: about 65 feet long and 8 feet deep. A few years
ago, Bill Bishop retired from tilling and planting the Danube garden. Last year Al Charlebois, Wayne
Spalding and Bill Burlton stepped up to till the garden with a borrowed tiller. Thank you!!! Bill Burlton
took over Chris's plot in 2005. Some of the other plots are grandfathered, but every year someone
leaves and another person comes. If you like gardening, this is just enough work for us seniors.
There are 2 conditions for having a plot in the Danube garden: first, everyone is responsible for weeding
and watering their own plot; second, some of the harvest is to be donated to the Centre for either the
Danube kitchen or members who do not have access to garden-fresh vegetables.
Simcoe Volunteer Readers
Hazel, a Simcoe Volunteer Reader, was shopping in Walmart when a little girl ran up to her and threw her arms around her knees and shouted "Mommy, Mommy this is the lady I read to every week. This made Hazel's week especially wonderful.
Once a week, for one-hour, Hazel listens to four children read from special books donated by the Volunteer Reader Program, the teacher selects children who are struggling with reading and matches each child with the appropriate level of book, so that reading becomes enjoyable. There are thirty levels of books and when each level is mastered the child is awarded a coloured ribbon. The adult listens, helps, and celebrates the success.
The Simcoe Volunteer Program was developed by Peter Ellis B.Ed., M.Sc., thirteen years ago and hundreds of Bradford elementary children have benefited greatly. The program is aimed at children who are at "risk" of not succeeding in reading and one on one support is thought to be useful by the teacher.
Peter is looking for adults to join his Simcoe Readers and bring the excitement of reading to more children. It is very rare for a nonprofit volunteer group to have a major impact on special children but it really depends on adults who understand the importance of reading to a person's success in future life. In early years we learn to read so that in later years we can read to learn. Please call Peter at 705-458-4852 or [email protected].
An elderly woman had just returned to her home
from an evening at church service when she was
startled by an intruder.
As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home
of its valuables, she yelled, "STOP! ACTS 2:38!"
(Repent and be baptized, in the name of the lord, so
that your sins may be forgiven.)
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly
called the police and explained what she had done. As
the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the
burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady
did was yell scripture at you."
"SCRIPTURE?!" replied the burglar, "She said she had
an AXE and TWO 38's!
The secret of staying young is to live honestly,
eat slowly and lie about your age.
– Lucille Ball
Respect old people. They graduated school
without Google or Wikipedia.
– Unknown
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