Pp for staff meeting

Working with a CFB, an apology in advance

So I’ve got this rare disease…

Some of you may recall that I used to look like this:

And even more recently, this:

But now I look a lot more like this:

The un-official description of Sarcoidosis is:

When your immune system goes “bat shit insane” and attacks healthy tissue for no reason.

Don’t worry, it’s not contagious.

Before I got it, I’d only ever heard of it on House

It is an auto-immune disease that affects my joints, bones, lungs, brain, kidneys and heart and skin. So far.

I don’t think it’s finished yet.

This is why I sweat and breathe like a wounded, asthmatic hippopotamus and hobble around like a 90 year old woman.

Well, maybe not that old woman.

Probably more like this old woman:

I’m doing much better now than I was. September – December 2011 was probably the worst for me, I was in the hospital, the right side of my face was paralyzed and, as some of you may remember, my eyes looked a lot like this:

I frightened people on the tube.

It gets worse

There is no cure for Sarcoidosis, but there are treatments for it.

And these treatments suck. For you guys.

Sorry.

I’m on a lot of similar medications that are given to cancer patients, and have to stab myself with a needle every Wednesday, which explains why on Wednesdays I typically look like this:

Also, getting all those needles and meds through airports in China with Dai Kai was very entertaining. He had to stab me with one. Neither of us were very happy about that.

However, the main medication that I’m on is steroids. A lot of steroids.

No, not that kind

These drugs have 3 main side affects, which you may have noticed.

1. Crazy

The medication affects my brain and makes me easily confused, forgetful and I struggle to focus and pay attention to things.

2. FatA particularly horrible side affect is called Cushingoid Syndrome. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve gotten bigger. Much, much bigger.

This is caused by tumours forming on my face, neck, back and the rest of my body. They will go away as I am able to stop taking these medications, but until then, I’m on my way to looking like this:

And I’m really not happy about it.

3. Crazy

Sorry about that, especially the crazy part

So I know that it seems that I’m always away from the office, always in the hospital or somewhere equally bizarre and not here when you need me, and then

when you do need me, I’m not as helpful as I used to be. But I wanted you to understand why, and that it’s

not going to be like this forever.

The fact is, you now officially work with a CFB (Crazy Fat Bitch)

But it could be worse…

You could work here instead!