Powerthrusting Presentation

POWERTHRUSTINGPOWERTHRUSTING

“Have the belief that others have the ability to fix their own problems.”

This problem is at the root of most control issues and it is known as fear. This problem is at the root of most control issues and it is known as fear. Fear leads to insecurity which is often manifested in relationships. A Fear leads to insecurity which is often manifested in relationships. A person may be afraid of losing the relationship and begins to hold on too person may be afraid of losing the relationship and begins to hold on too tightly, fearing their loved one will take off with another. Instead of being tightly, fearing their loved one will take off with another. Instead of being loving, that person begins feeling possessive and acting suspicious. These loving, that person begins feeling possessive and acting suspicious. These feelings are all generated from fear and insecurity…feelings are all generated from fear and insecurity…

This need to control is destructive, not only to the person you claim to love, This need to control is destructive, not only to the person you claim to love, but to yourself. Come to grips with the fact that you are destroying your but to yourself. Come to grips with the fact that you are destroying your happiness and the happiness of another by demanding things that are happiness and the happiness of another by demanding things that are unrealistic.unrealistic.

We need to let go of the reigns and let others be themselves. By tightening We need to let go of the reigns and let others be themselves. By tightening the noose, you are not letting the person grow into who they are supposed the noose, you are not letting the person grow into who they are supposed to be. You may feel that if you let go of that control, your life will fall apart. to be. You may feel that if you let go of that control, your life will fall apart. You may even take pride in the fact that you have complete control over You may even take pride in the fact that you have complete control over your life.your life.

You never had complete control over your external You never had complete control over your external environment. And you never will. You were just under environment. And you never will. You were just under

the illusion that you had control.   the illusion that you had control.     

Here are 6 signs you might be a control freak:Here are 6 signs you might be a control freak:

1. Perfectionist behavior:1. Perfectionist behavior:Are you obsessed with having everything in your life be absolutely perfect, Are you obsessed with having everything in your life be absolutely perfect, from spotless, organized work and home environments, to dotting all your from spotless, organized work and home environments, to dotting all your “i’s” and crossing all your “t’s”? Do you demand perfection of others from “i’s” and crossing all your “t’s”? Do you demand perfection of others from your family and friends to the people you work with, even if you’re not a your family and friends to the people you work with, even if you’re not a boss? Do you bemoan the fact that you have to do everything yourself boss? Do you bemoan the fact that you have to do everything yourself because no one else will do as good a job as you? If so, watch out!because no one else will do as good a job as you? If so, watch out!

2. Control environments:2. Control environments:Control freaks like to be in charge at all costs and that means having their Control freaks like to be in charge at all costs and that means having their environments meet their standards. That might mean a spotless car, environments meet their standards. That might mean a spotless car, completely organized work space, and a decorator’s dream of a home. completely organized work space, and a decorator’s dream of a home. Having everything in its place, at all times, provides a measure of safety Having everything in its place, at all times, provides a measure of safety and control that keeps a control freak’s anxieties in check. When you know and control that keeps a control freak’s anxieties in check. When you know you can get up every morning to find the coffee brewing in the pot, the you can get up every morning to find the coffee brewing in the pot, the newspaper by the front door, and the refrigerator filled with your favorite newspaper by the front door, and the refrigerator filled with your favorite foods, all is right with the world. But let the newspaper be late, or let the foods, all is right with the world. But let the newspaper be late, or let the electricity go off and the coffee maker not be on, and the control freak flies electricity go off and the coffee maker not be on, and the control freak flies off the handle.off the handle.

3. Control other people:3. Control other people:Do you find yourself telling your partner who their friends should be, what they Do you find yourself telling your partner who their friends should be, what they should wear, and how they should drive? Do you tell people how to fix their lives and should wear, and how they should drive? Do you tell people how to fix their lives and problems even when they don’t ask? Do people tell you that you’re bossy as they problems even when they don’t ask? Do people tell you that you’re bossy as they start disappearing from your life? One of the most dangerous things anyone can do start disappearing from your life? One of the most dangerous things anyone can do is to “try” to control another person. It’s a great way to lose friends and loved ones. is to “try” to control another person. It’s a great way to lose friends and loved ones.

4. Control the outcome:4. Control the outcome:Do you feel you have to monitor events like a hawk to avoid anything going wrong? Do you feel you have to monitor events like a hawk to avoid anything going wrong? That without you, the outcome will not turn out the way you want? Control freaks That without you, the outcome will not turn out the way you want? Control freaks control events, control procedure, and control time. They have high expectations of control events, control procedure, and control time. They have high expectations of themselves and others, but feel that if they don’t manage everything, the outcome themselves and others, but feel that if they don’t manage everything, the outcome won’t be guaranteed–and failure is just not an option to a control freakwon’t be guaranteed–and failure is just not an option to a control freak. .

5. Don’t take failure or criticism well:5. Don’t take failure or criticism well:Control freaks cannot do anything wrong so don’t even try to tell them anything Control freaks cannot do anything wrong so don’t even try to tell them anything negative about themselves or their performance. They will stick up for their actions negative about themselves or their performance. They will stick up for their actions even when it’s clear they are wrong. They just turn it around and blame someone even when it’s clear they are wrong. They just turn it around and blame someone else for the failure–it’s never them. And of course, their way is the only way. They’re else for the failure–it’s never them. And of course, their way is the only way. They’re just not open to criticism and feedback so don’t even waste your time.just not open to criticism and feedback so don’t even waste your time.

6. Anger, rage, shutdowns:6. Anger, rage, shutdowns:If anything goes out of control in their life, a control freak either shuts down and turns If anything goes out of control in their life, a control freak either shuts down and turns their anger inside or turns into a rage-aholic and throws a temper tantrum. You don’t their anger inside or turns into a rage-aholic and throws a temper tantrum. You don’t want to be around them when they get “out of control.” That’s the worst case want to be around them when they get “out of control.” That’s the worst case scenario for these insecure, anxious folks. If they’re upset with themselves for the scenario for these insecure, anxious folks. If they’re upset with themselves for the error they made, they’ll rage against themselves by shutting down their emotions, error they made, they’ll rage against themselves by shutting down their emotions, getting depressed, or pouting. When they’re upset with another, you’ll know about it. getting depressed, or pouting. When they’re upset with another, you’ll know about it. They go into blame, shame, and complain – and it’s the cause of many failed They go into blame, shame, and complain – and it’s the cause of many failed relationships both personal and professional.relationships both personal and professional.

It doesn't matter that you don't have complete control over your external It doesn't matter that you don't have complete control over your external environment. Controlling how you react to life's events is more important than trying environment. Controlling how you react to life's events is more important than trying to control life's events. In other words, you determine your happiness by controlling to control life's events. In other words, you determine your happiness by controlling your internal environment, not your external one. your internal environment, not your external one.

Here are some activities you can do when you are trying to Here are some activities you can do when you are trying to control everything around you:control everything around you:

1) Ask yourself: 'Am I over-focused on controlling my external environment?' This 1) Ask yourself: 'Am I over-focused on controlling my external environment?' This helps you recognize that you are attempting the impossible.helps you recognize that you are attempting the impossible.2) Laugh at yourself! Or make silly faces at yourself in the mirror. Any fun physical 2) Laugh at yourself! Or make silly faces at yourself in the mirror. Any fun physical reaction helps to distract your body and mind. It keeps you from taking yourself too reaction helps to distract your body and mind. It keeps you from taking yourself too seriously.seriously.

3) Switch your focus from external to internal. Ask: 'What can I do right now to 3) Switch your focus from external to internal. Ask: 'What can I do right now to positively change how I react to this situation, person, or object?' Take action to positively change how I react to this situation, person, or object?' Take action to improve your internal environment! You can do this through self-care activities, improve your internal environment! You can do this through self-care activities, positive language, fun activities, affirmations, and more.positive language, fun activities, affirmations, and more.

Here are a few affirmations that help remind me:Here are a few affirmations that help remind me:

"I can handle whatever comes my way.""I can handle whatever comes my way.""I am very capable of meeting my own needs.""I am very capable of meeting my own needs."

"I am a confident, capable adult.""I am a confident, capable adult.""Life is a wonderful, unpredictable adventure.“"Life is a wonderful, unpredictable adventure.“

Gen 1:27:Gen 1:27: “So God created human beings in his own “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them…”image. In the image of God he created them…”

““Have the belief that others have the ability to fix their own problems.”Have the belief that others have the ability to fix their own problems.”