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Powerful Tools Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. e Weiss, Ph.D., MCC, and Jonathan Weiss, Ph.D.
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Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Dec 17, 2015

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Page 1: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Powerful Tools Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching for Increasing Coaching

EffectivenessEffectiveness

Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding,

Predicting and Influencing Behavior.

Laurie Weiss, Ph.D., MCC, and Jonathan Weiss, Ph.D.

Page 2: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Four “Healthy” ModelsFour “Healthy” Models

Needs-Response CycleEgo StatesRelationship ModelCommunication Model

2

Page 3: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

The Needs-Response CycleThe Needs-Response Cycle

How We All Function — from Birth to Death

3

Page 4: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Natural Needor Feeling

Page 5: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Natural BehavioralExpression

Natural Needor Feeling

Page 6: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Natural BehavioralExpression

Need Met

Natural Needor Feeling

Page 7: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Natural BehavioralExpression

Need Met

Natural Needor Feeling

Page 8: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Natural BehavioralExpression

Need Met

Natural Needor Feeling

Page 9: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Natural BehavioralExpression

Need Met

Natural Needor Feeling

Page 10: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Natural BehavioralExpression

Natural Needor Feeling

Need NOT Met

Page 11: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Natural BehavioralExpression

Natural Needor Feeling

Need NOT Met

Page 12: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Natural BehavioralExpression

Natural Needor Feeling

Need NOT Met

Page 13: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Natural BehavioralExpression

Natural Needor Feeling

Need NOT Met

Page 14: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Natural BehavioralExpression

Natural Needor Feeling

Need NOT Met

Page 15: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Natural Needor Feeling

Need NOT Met

Natural BehavioralExpression

Page 16: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Natural BehavioralExpression

Natural Needor Feeling

Need NOT Met

Natural BehavioralExpression

Page 17: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Need Met

Natural Needor Feeling

Natural BehavioralExpression

Need NOT Met

Substitute Behavior

Page 18: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Need Met

Natural Needor Feeling

Natural BehavioralExpression

Need NOT Met

Substitute Behavior

Page 19: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Substitute Behavior

Reinforcement

Page 20: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Substitute Behavior

ReinforcementConfrontation

Page 21: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Need Met

Natural Needor Feeling

Natural BehavioralExpression

Need NOT Met

Substitute

ReinforcementConfrontation

Page 22: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Need Met

Natural Needor Feeling

Natural BehavioralExpression

Need NOT Met

Substitute

ReinforcementConfrontation

Page 23: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Need Met

Natural Needor Feeling

Natural BehavioralExpression

Need NOT Met

Substitute

ReinforcementConfrontation

Page 24: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Need Met

Natural Needor Feeling

Natural BehavioralExpression

Need NOT Met

Substitute

ReinforcementConfrontation

Page 25: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Need Met

Natural Needor Feeling

Natural BehavioralExpression

Need NOT Met

Substitute

ReinforcementConfrontation

Page 26: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Ego StatesEgo States(Transactional Analysis)(Transactional Analysis)

26

Parent

Adult

Child

P

A

C

Page 27: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

27

P

A

C

NurturingGuidingProtective

CriticalJudgmentalScolding

Rational

NaturalSpontaneousImpulsive

CompliantRebellious

Page 28: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

What Was Your What Was Your Challenging Question?Challenging Question?

28

Working in groups of three, use the Ego State Model to identify five different possible answers to the question.

Page 29: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

ContaminationContamination(Unhealthy)(Unhealthy)

29

Parent

Adult

Child

Page 30: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

ExclusionExclusion(Unhealthy)(Unhealthy)

30

Page 31: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

31

Healthy Relationship ModelHealthy Relationship Model

Page 32: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

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Basic “Unhealthy” PatternBasic “Unhealthy” Pattern

P

A

C

Page 33: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

33

Co-DependencyCo-Dependency(Our Definition)(Our Definition)

An agreement between two people that one person’s needs are more important than the other’s.

There may or may not be disagreement about whose needs are more important.

Page 34: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Takes INITIATIVE to take into account:My own needs and feelingsOthers’ needs and feelingsThe reality of the situation

The Healthy The Healthy Communication ModelCommunication Model

Page 35: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

35

Healthy Relationship ModelHealthy Relationship Model

Page 36: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Signs of TroubleSigns of Trouble— The Games People Play— The Games People Play

Repetitive Pattern Confusion (Switch) Predictable Negative Feelings “I should have known that would happen!”

or“I knew that would happen!”

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Page 37: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

WHY?!WHY?!

Failed Attempt to Meet NeedsSubstitute Behavior

Page 38: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

IMPORTANT!!IMPORTANT!!

People are always doing the best they can to get what they need, based on the resources available to them at the time.

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Page 39: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Recognizing Invitations Recognizing Invitations to Gamesto Games

DiscountingPassive BehaviorDrama Triangle

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Page 40: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

DiscountingDiscounting

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The Problem (Denial)The Significance of the ProblemThe Solvability of the ProblemThe Self

Page 41: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Passive BehaviorPassive Behavior

Doing NothingOveradaptationAgitationIncapacitation or Violence

Page 42: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

The Drama TriangleThe Drama Triangle

Persecutor Rescuer

Victim

Page 43: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

Think of a time…Think of a time…

You found yourself in the Drama Triangle -- (If you’re not willing to talk about it, make one up!)

What was your hidden agenda?What could you have done instead of

playing?Discuss with your group.

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Page 44: Powerful Tools for Increasing Coaching Effectiveness Transactional Analysis Models for Understanding, Predicting and Influencing Behavior. Laurie Weiss,

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Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's supposed to do.

Robert Heinlein