haleyseportfolio.yolasite.comhaleyseportfolio.yolasite.com/resources/preliminary portfo…  · Web viewLike I stated earlier, the peer reviews help a lot as well as your feedback

Dear Jennifer,

When writing all three papers, I kept in mind that they are just drafts, and don’t have to be completely perfect although I still tried to make them good. I’ve never really been that great of a writer. I’m enjoying that posting the assignments online and the peer reviews in class helps a bunch! It’s good to hear other students’ opinions about how to make a paper better.

For my first paper, I didn’t really change much. I enjoyed learning how to “print screen” and insert that into the paper, it made for better visuals. The visuals are what I didn’t include in my other two papers, so I added some pictures to those. I would have to say that probably the first and last of the papers were the best.

The one paper that needed the most work was the news story. I personally have never written a news story hence it was a little hard for me. When we had our peers review it in class, I got a better idea of what it should look like after reading other peoples stories. In the news story I had included “I” and “We” and after getting it reviewed, I realized those are two things that one should never include in a news story. Also like stated above, there was no visual. So adding one made it a lot better!

As for the editorial, most of the feedback just told me that it was informative. Sarah Thomas added some ideas on how to improve it such as some quotes or perhaps statistics. She said that quotes and visuals might help more with the emotional appeal. Myra said that I need more credible sources but that it was very motivating. For no I’ve added a visual to help appeal more to the audience.

For the other piece that needs to be included, well I chose to include the annotated bibliography I revised for the group project and also the letter I wrote to a future student. Before this class, I had no idea what an annotated bibliography was, let alone how to write one. After our one on one meeting, you gave me some feedback on how to fix it and I want to show the progress I made. Also, for the letter, this is just an example of another type of genre you had us students write in.

Like I stated earlier, the peer reviews help a lot as well as your feedback did on the first paper. With each suggestion, a paper gets better, so I am grateful that this helps my papers become better. My peer reviews as well as my revised papers are below. Thanks!

Sincerely,

Haley Florida

English 2010 Peer Review—Editorial

Author: Haley Florida

Feedback Author: Sarah Thomas

Answer these questions as fully as possible in order to give substantial feedback to your colleague.

1. Who is the intended public audience for this piece? Can you suggest a more specific group of oppositional readers? What does the writer do to appeal to the beliefs/values/assumptions/emotions/knowledge of intended readers? Provide the writer with additional strategies that will help engage and appeal to his or her intended audience. The intended audience for this piece is college students who might not be aware of the many

struggles that ESL students face and how easy and fulfilling it is to become a tutor. You really hit home with the emotional appeal for your intended audience. She offered details that help the audience relate to the struggles described. The only suggestion that I have would be to slim the description of what it is like to be an ESL student into two paragraphs…one at the beginning of the piece and one at the end to remind readers why tutoring is needed.

2. What is the argument/position of your colleague? What are the argument's main claims? Point to sections where the editorial warrants further support or development and make suggestions for improvement. The argument and position for the piece is that tutors are greatly needed and that tutoring can

be fun, interactive and rewarding for both parties. The argument’s main claims are that successful tutoring in ESL labs can help ESL students to develop other academic skills while learning English, that SLCC offers two of the three types of ESL programs and that tutoring is beneficial to the tutor as well as the student being tutored. The only suggestions that I have concerning support and development would be to maybe interview and quote a student who has had a positive experience with SLCC’s ESL program. Also, some statistics might be useful as well in persuading the audience why help is needed…maybe a ratio of ESL students to tutors currently helping.

3. What middle ground does the writer establish with oppositional readers? (If there is no middle ground, suggest one.) What oppositional viewpoints are recognized? Are they combated effectively? Make additional suggestions for persuading the opposition. What differing perspectives or oppositional viewpoints are left out of the argument that should be addressed? The middle ground is very subtle in the section that talks about class oriented learning, where

tutors are not always utilized. The only oppositional viewpoints that are recognized are between the types of programs…classroom vs. resource center, and it is combated effectively by stating that although class is offered two or three times a week, the students don’t necessarily get the tutoring time that they need to be truly successful. The only differing perspective viewpoints that might be beneficial to include might be a ratio of success. How successful are students that participate in the ESL program compared to those who don’t?

4. Are at least three pieces of credible research integrated into the editorial? Is there enough research to build credibility? Comment on how the research is presented, cited, and qualified—does the writer help readers understand who the sources are and why readers should trust those sources? There are only two pieces of research that I noticed. As noted under question 1, a quote from a

current ESL student would be very persuasive and would catch audience attention. An introduction and credential information to the source of each piece of research is needed and

the parentheses with the author name at the end of the quotes can be deleted. Also, remember that any quote longer than four lines does not need to have quotation marks and should be left and right indented to make a block quote.

5. Describe the design of the piece. How might this document appear more "real," like it actually would in the public sphere? How does the writer incorporate visual communication into his or her writing? How might the writer improve the design and visual elements of the paper? The use of visual elements would be largely beneficial and would make it appear more like a real

editorial in the public sphere. Maybe try taking a picture with a student in the ESL (with permission to possibly publicize it). This might help stimulate more of an emotional appeal from readers and it can also function to show the intended audience that the ESL lab is a fun place to go. Also, location information might help those who want to help but don’t necessarily know where to go.

6. What is the social context of editorial; in other words, what ongoing conversation or debate does it enter into, or does it begin a new debate? Where might this writing appear in the public sphere? Is it a realistic context in terms of topic and timing (i.e., will readers find the topic relevant and interesting)? Why or why not? How might the writer put this document to action in the real world? How might the writer get this piece into circulation? The ongoing debate that the editorial enters is that there are not enough tutors to really do all

that needs to be done. It also enters into the debate between for credit classes vs. open house resource centers and whether they are functional in a standalone capacity or if they largely depend on one another. You have a really great start with this piece and it will be even better when all of the visual and research documentation is included. I could see this on the SLCC ESL website, as well as in the school newsletter/paper.

7. Ask any questions you have about the paper—parts you don’t understand, parts you disagree with, and so forth. What is one or more strength of this piece? One of the strengths of this paper is the emotional appeal. As stated above, definitely utilize the

sources at your fingertips…the sources that the program is actually helping (ESL students). This would just send the emotional appeal to the stars and college students would likely be interested in reading and relating to their struggles for success stories.

Feedback Author: Mayra Tetzloff

Answer these questions as fully as possible in order to give substantial feedback to your colleague.

8. Who is the intended public audience for this piece? Can you suggest a more specific group of oppositional readers? What does the writer do to appeal to the beliefs/values/assumptions/emotions/knowledge of intended readers? Provide the writer with additional strategies that will help engage and appeal to his or her intended audience. This is a great paper, this is going not only to a ESL group learning is also Tutors and Teachers of English, it is very interesting every position of the writer. I believe that knowledge of any Teacher in this area is so helpful to want to learn more a second language. It is very motivating to read this kind of pieces, when you know that as a student we can give our time and help to others.

9. What is the argument/position of your colleague? What are the argument's main claims? Point to sections where the editorial warrants further support or development and make suggestions for improvement.

The writer is trying to show us, that being a tutor in ESL is a good thing, because you as a tutor it helps to others, and also you are opening your mind to other worlds, because you are tutoring to people to the other countries and other cultures, totally different to yours. It is very exciting.

10. What middle ground does the writer establish with oppositional readers? (If there is no middle ground, suggest one.) What oppositional viewpoints are recognized? Are they combated effectively? Make additional suggestions for persuading the opposition. What differing perspectives or oppositional viewpoints are left out of the argument that should be addressed?It is a topic where we can get many viewpoints. As a reader I can see that her position has very perspectives to how we can help and teach ESL.I think it is an awesome way to help and learn at the same time.

11. Are at least three pieces of credible research integrated into the editorial? Is there enough research to build credibility? Comment on how the research is presented, cited, and qualified—does the writer help readers understand who the sources are and why readers should trust those sources? It has just one research, but she is talking about How Salt Lake Community College is opening their doors to learn and improve their English.

12. Describe the design of the piece. How might this document appear more "real," like it actually would in the public sphere? How does the writer incorporate visual communication into his or her writing? How might the writer improve the design and visual elements of the paper?It describe how important is being a tutor and ways that SLCC have different ways to teach English as a Second Language to people from others countries. It is sad, but it doesn’t show any visual communication, it is a great communicative paper.

13. What is the social context of editorial; in other words, what ongoing conversation or debate does it enter into, or does it begin a new debate? Where might this writing appear in the public sphere? Is it a realistic context in terms of topic and timing (i.e., will readers find the topic relevant and interesting)? Why or why not? How might the writer put this document to action in the real world? How might the writer get this piece into circulation?The context of the piece was very realistic and the writer is using words that can help to their audience to get more information about it. It is very interesting topic.

14. Ask any questions you have about the paper—parts you don’t understand, parts you disagree with, and so forth. What is one or more strength of this piece?

I think the writer did a great job in this piece, is very interesting caught my attention as soon as read the title, so I keep going, and I think being a ESL tutor is very interesting and the ways that the Salt Lake Community College has the best instructors for this area. It is very motivating.

Writing Project 1

Everyone will have to do a service learning project at least once in there college experience. For

my service learning project I chose to tutor students in the ESL program. ESL stands for English as a

Second Language. Students from all over the world go to Salt Lake Community College, and although

English isn’t their native tongue, they still need help learning the language to be able to communicate

here in the America’s.

When one logs on to the SLCC website, they can go to the ESL Lab tab and read about helping

with the ESL students. Lidya Gonzalez is the writer of the page. She is in charge of the ESL lab. SLCC has

been around for a really long time, and since this information is posted on the college’s website it is

pretty credible.

(Salt Lake Community College. (2009).)

Clearly this is intended for service learning students or anyone else who just wants to give a

helpful hand. It is very friendly, firm and upfront about what is expected and needed. There is a list of

suggestions for successful tutoring. Lidya is trying to encourage students to come help tutor because

some of the ESL students don’t have a tutor. Working with the students isn’t just helping them with

speaking English, but focuses on reading, writing, grammar, pronunciation, listening, and conversation

skills. Even though English comes easy to those who use English as their native tongue, it is very hard to

speak for those who have another language as their native tongue. It is said that English is the hardest

language to learn, that is why it is very important to the ESL students to have tutors.

There seems to be no controversy going on but as stated before the only real issue is that there

aren’t enough tutors. Usually the readers are going to be students because that is the majority of who

browses the website. It kind of hints towards the idea that tutoring doesn’t just help the ESL student,

but the tutor earns a rewarding experience also. Hence, everything on here is pro-tutoring.

There is a nice little introduction to the site, and then it goes into the bulleted suggestions for

successful tutoring. It also talks about the time commitment and how each tutoring session is only one

hour. To those browsing the website, there is contact information if one has questions that weren’t

answered but the page is pretty explicit. In reading everything on the website, I would say that it is

pretty effective. It doesn’t beat around the bush; it gets right to the point and tells the reader everything

there is to know.

If one wanted to learn more about English as a Second Language, I would recommend going to

Wikipedia.org. It states some facts about ESL and how it is widely used. It can be helpful to those who

are considering tutoring as their service learning project.

(Wikipedia. (2011).)

In conclusion, I believe that this will be a very fullfilling service project. Not only will it be fun to

help students, but I can learn a lot too. I know it is hard for some to speak English but that’s why they

need tutors, and being able to help is great! The page on the SLCC website helped me make my decision

about wanting to tutor, and for future service learning students it is a good place to get the information

they need.

Works Cited

Salt Lake Community College. (2009). Retrieved from http://www.slcc.edu/learningcenter/ESLLabVolunteer.asp

Wikipedia. (2011). Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ESL

English as a Second Language

(Salt Lake City, Utah) The ESL lab, at Salt Lake Community College is a very resourceful center, although right now there is much controversy over not having enough tutors. Lidya Gonzalez, supervisor of the ESL lab said “Sometimes, we don’t have enough tutors for the amount of students, especially at the South Campus.” This could be because more classes are offered at the Redwood Campus than the South Campus.

What is being done to help solve this dilemma? Well, there are some job offerings opening up soon at the Redwood campus so that will help fill some more spots there, and also the opportunity for service learners to tutor has come about, and that can be done at any of the campuses.

Many of the students just need help in pronunciation, because English isn’t their native tongue. It can be difficult for most of the students at first, but they get the hang of it and it comes easier to them.

Student Arafat states that the hardest thing that he struggles with is grammar. He also states that “carrying on conversations is better practice then anything because he can hear the words

and then repeat them himself.”

According the Mckay and Schaetzel, “Some students may have very different cultural perceptions in the classroom as far as learning a second language is concerned. Also, cultural differences in communication styles and preferences are significant.”

SLCC has a resource center where students can go and practice English and get help from tutors and teachers as well as the ESL class. Lidya has been offering hours to students who have a service learning project, hoping that this will make an

impact and encourage more students to help tutor.

Why is Tutoring in ESL a Good Thing?

Have you ever tried to learn a second language? Well, it doesn’t come easy. So imagine, being in another country, having lived there for a while and having no time to practice learning the common language spoken in that country. It would be hard to communicate with everyone around you and if you’re lucky enough you might run into someone who speaks your native tongue. Sounds like quite the challenge, doesn’t it? If this makes you wonder what it’s like for those people who come to the U.S., it is exactly the same as stated above.

To many Americans, learning English is quite easy. We learn it as a first language when we first start speaking and grow up with it. “Today's classrooms are diverse places where students hail from many cultural backgrounds, especially in urban areas. Many of them do not speak English at home. As a result, these students are learning English as a second--or even third or fourth—language.” (Breeze.) For those whose native tongue is not English, it is very hard for one to learn it. Tutoring can be very helpful for those who need help learning the English language.

To a person who doesn’t speak English as their first language, it can be difficult to learn later in life. Most students that need help speaking it, mostly focus on pronunciation and grammar. When someone volunteers to be a tutor, it can make a huge impact because there are many students that need the tutoring and sometimes not enough tutors. Many people don’t think about the time that gets put into tutoring and how it helps the students so much.

Salt Lake Community College has the factors that make a successful ESL program. It has the resources, the demographics and student characteristics. It just needs a lot of students willing to help the others that which the tutoring will be helpful. If one puts themselves in the others place, where in a country where we don’t know the native language in their place of residence, we would want the help to learn their language to succeed in that culture. The more we can help those individuals learn English, then the better we

can communicate with them, and the better they can communicate with others in the future.

“Successful program models for promoting the academic achievement of language minority students are those that enable these students to develop academic skills while learning English. The best program organization is one that is tailored to meet the linguistic, academic, and affective needs of students; provides language minority students with the instruction necessary to allow them to progress through school at a rate commensurate with their native-English-speaking peers; and makes the best use of district and community resources.” (Rennie, 1993).

There are three types of ESL programs. There’s pull-out which is most commonly used in elementary schools, where a student gets pulled out of class to go learn English. Another is an ESL class to which the student receives credit for that class. The third is a resource center. SLCC offers both the class and the resource center. Many people might think that tutors aren’t needed because of the class offered. The class is two or three times a week and is helpful, however, students don’t get that one-on-one time like they would in the ESL lab.

Tutoring is a reciprocal learning, because it not only is beneficial for the learner, but the tutor gets something out of it too. Tutors get to learn about the other cultures of the students, because they are from all around the world. The student gets to have a good time learning a lot about English and they are very thankful for all the help they receive. It is a good way to volunteer and many people should consider tutoring at some time throughout college even if it is not in English, but say in science or math. Any type of tutoring is very productive.

Works Cited

Rennie, Jeanne. (1993.) Eric Clearinghouse on Languages and Linguistic. Washington DC.

Breeze, Eileen. What Are The Benefits of ESL Training. Retrieved March 5, 2011. www.ehow.com/facts_5784771_benefits-esl-training_.html

Tutoring Student. Picture. Learn Paramount.com. Retrieved March 24, 2011.

University Writing Center. University of Texas at El Paso. Picture. Retrieved March 24, 2011.

Haley Florida

Eng.2010

Jennifer Courtney

Annotated Bibliography

Gonzalez, Lidya. “Learning Center.” Salt Lake Community College. 2009. Web 3 Apr 2011.

The author, Lidya Gonzalez, writes about how the Learning Center works. She gives suggestions for

effective tutoring. She includes that the time commitment is one hour per session and service

learning students are expected to provide a copy of their reflection paper. The contact information

for the ESL Lab is listed so people can contact Lidya.

Reid, Joy M. “Learning Style Preferences of ESL Students.” Colorado State University. Tesol Quarterly.

March 1987. Web 3 Apr 2011.

The author Joy M. Reid indicates the results of a questionnaire rom 1,388 students about their

learning style preferences and factors that differ in those preferences. Reid states that

modifications of learning styles may happen with changes in the academic environment. He also

includes information from research on cultural differences in learning styles. The cited research in

this article is mostly done in the 1970’s and 1980’s and has to do with learning second languages.

Potier, Beth. "Harvard University Gazette." Harvard.edu. N.p., 13 Nov 2003. Web. 4 Apr 2011.

A study done by Harvard University shows that children with ESL can learn to read English just as

well as students who have English as a first language with proper intervention. Studies show that if

kindergartners are worked with they have a better chance of learning better than a second or third

grader. Children who learn the phonological awareness have a better foundation for learning more

later on. Young children love to learn so it is easier to teach them younger.

Thomson, Mistina. "How ESL teaching benefits students?" ESL teachers’ board. Articles for teaching

board, n.d. Web. 4 Apr 2011.

This text states how ESL benefits students for many reasons. They are taught by ESL trained

teachers, students get to learn a new language, learning English will help them to get better jobs.

There are also tons of English teaching jobs opening up every year to fill positions for the ever

growing need to teach English.

Dear Future Student,

In this English 2010 class, you can expect to learn a lot. Naturally, the first day of every class you go over the syllabus, what the learning outcomes are, and what major assignments. Jennifer will give you a schedule of when assignments are due and what needs to be done to be prepared for the future class. This is very helpful, if you really pay attention to it. To get a good grade in this class, well, you need to be a good student.

Since you are taking this class, during the semester you will be required to partake in a service learning project. You will need to complete 15 service hours with a non-profit organization. While at first this may seem a little stressful, it really isn’t. Personally, I’ve learned that if you space out your hours over the semester, it is easier to do. All your writing projects require you to write about your community service that you’re involved in. This is also helpful because then you’re not always searching for a topic to write about.

When doing a service learning project, you have to be willing and open minded to do it. I’ll be honest in saying that when I first heard about these community partner projects, I was the least motivated. However, Jennifer does give you a list of places to call that can be possible community partners that you can call and learn what it is that they do exactly. Also, there will be maybe one or two speakers that come into class that talk about how you can help their organization which will give you some more options as well.

For my service learning, I decided to tutor in the ESL (English as a Second Language) Lab at the Redwood SLCC Campus. I chose this because the supervisor Lidya Gonzalez was one of our guest speakers and it seemed interesting to me. At first, I was a little nervous, I had never tutored before and the student I got assigned to tutor spoke French as his native tongue. His name was Arafat and he was from Tolo. I didn’t know what to expect as well as what kind of culture he was used to so I didn’t know whether to shake his hand or look him in the eyes, because in some cultures those kinds of things are considered disrespectful. Throughout the semester though, I got used to it. In the end, it wasn’t just me helping Arafat, but he helped me as well. See, service learning is not just charitable, but reciprocal as well. You must learn something out of it. With tutoring, I not only learned how to help tutor, but I learned a lot about other cultures as well. So when picking a community partner, make sure you choose something that you will be interested in.

This class requires you to put your time into it. Jennifer is pretty clear on all her expectations for every assignment, and she is very open to help you if you need it. Because this class is half in class, half online, the assignments are half and half as well. This provides for better peer review though, for you get in in person, and by comment online. You will find that each assignment has a purpose and excellent outcome even though it may not seem that way at first. Like I stated before, you have to be a good student to get a good grade, and this is not hard if you follow the instructions for everything. Good luck with your time in this class, I guarantee it will be worth every minute!

Sincerely, Haley Florida