Phoenix H 16 - Second Edition

PPHHOOEENNIIXX TTIIMMEESS SATURDAY 28 APRIL 2012

SECOND EDITION PRICE: FREE

LETTER FROM THE ED Dear readers, Welcome to this „jam packed – fun filled‟ second edition of The Phoenix Times. I hoped that you all enjoyed reading the first edition of the PT and reading about what your loved ones are getting up too and seeing some pictures of them on the ground working hard or not so hard in some cases! It is hoped to continue with this publication throughout the tour, but I need your help at home to add more value to the magazine by sending in any articles, shout out, pictures on what you the families have been up to while we are out here in Afghanistan. Please send any of your swag via snail mail or e-bluie to the following address: The Editor, Phoenix Times 8 AES Engr Fd Sqn 2 TFH Engr Gp Op HERRICK 16 BFPO 792

THIS EDITIONS HUNK OF THE MONTH IS SPR DAN HAMILTON; GET YOUR FREE CALENDAR INSIDE

Foreword by Super-Captain Noel ‘Sabre’ Brown Second-in-Command 8 AES At the close of our first month on Op HERRICK 16, the Squadron has completed some really challenging tasks. The troops are now comfortably operating in this truly challenging environment and I remain very impressed by the work rate and standards produced by the sections. Special mention has to go to LCpl Dene Goodacre and his section (2 Troop) for their efforts constructing an elevated sangar (guard tower) entirely by hand after their equipment broke down. In 1 Troop, Cpl Jamie Brown‟s section have completed a good task upgrading a road for the US Marine Corps, no doubt his haircut went down well with them. 3 Troop have been detached from the Sqn on another route upgrade task

with both Cpls Brown and Walker‟s sections in the thick of the action.

Can you beat the clock in this arduous challenge either as a team or as an individual? Every Sunday at 1600hrs in the CV Suite.

Team Event Format Individual Event Format 2 Mile Row 15 mins 20 mins 10 Mile Bike 30 mins 45 mins 2 Mile Run 15 mins 25 mins

Bost AT route build

Spr “Squirrel” Squires 1Tp 8 AES

On the 31st March 2012, 1 troop 8 AES where tasked to upgrade a route to an American CP built for the ANP. We moved out of PB Attal with a Husky, a MWT, SLDT and a Mastiff. The move was a slow 20km/h to MOB Lashkar Gah where we were to pick up Spr Stanley who had been away on vehicle operators courses in Camp Bastion, who was ecstatic on seeing the packet it was an emotional reunion for us all. The original plan was to leave as soon as we had picked up our man but due to unforeseen (not unwelcome) circumstances we had to spend the night in Lash Vegas enduring the 5 star food and the NAAFI, It was a griss!

The next day we left early to crack on with the task at hand and arrived at CP BOST in about 40 minutes. When we arrived the Americans were more that happy to share their supplies with us and we were happy to help them with their crates of coke and pop tarts. When our close support arrived we left the gates with their 2 Jackals and our Husky providing support for the bod‟s on the ground.

Our first task was to deny a culvert and upgrade a Y-Junction to attach the route to the main road. The moment one of the lads jumped out to start placing razor wire in the culvert he was swarmed by the local kids. While that was happening the civilian grader was preparing the junction and the roller was flattening the earth. Our MWT was also filling the SLDT with desert fill for the grader to get the ground to the right level. The next day we went back to the junction to find that the razor wire had been stripped out by the locals, god only

knows what they wanted with the stuff. The junction was almost completed it just needed the water bowser to

saturate the ground and then the roller flatten it again. The next day Troopy came down to the site to oversee the

progress and opened the flood gates by giving one Afghan kid a pen, to the outrage of every other kid that was

there. The irony of that was that Troopy was pick-pocketed for his last pen towards the end of the day. The Geo-

Grid was then rolled out and both MWT‟s spread the aggregate across the track. While this was happening the

grader was preparing the rest of the route. When they had finished the roller went over flattening the ground and

that was the junction completed.

LCpl ‘Pop-tart’ “Wiggy” Wigg supervising the

geo-grid matting en route to the US base

Spr Stuart pretending to be a little teapot

Spr Frankham at home in his medium

wheeled tractor

The next day was concentrating on the section of road next to the CP itself which was mostly „moon dust‟, this

required another layer of road called Neo-web which is a honeycomb matting that gets filled with soil creating a

solid foundation for the road. After laying 90 meters of Neo-web and filling it with soil the grader and roller did

their job of flattening the base layer then the geo-grid went on top both MWT‟s placed „agg‟ on top and the grader

and roller again did what its best at and flattened the road surface.

The last day we finished the rest of the Neo-web and had a well deserved break while waiting for the MWT‟s to

finish the task. Just when we thought the end was in sight Troopy gave us the great news that Spr Frankham had

reversed the MWT through a section of the surrounding barbed wire fence which although was not a big task

(and only took 30 minutes), it was a crate-able offence. After that we stripped out and left for the comforts of

Lash.

BEAT THE BADGE – The Race to UK

WO2 (SSM) Stevie Biddulph – Squadron Sergeant Major

Well I‟ve come up with a lot of ideas in the past, some good and some not so good, but my latest one before

deploying out to Afghanistan was to bribe the QM (Capt „Ray‟ Byrne) to send out my beloved training (road)

bike and a set of rollers in the air freight. This would mean that I could train in my spare time whilst out

in Camp Bastion when I‟m not out on the ground visiting the Troops in and around NES (S) and LKG.

As I‟m a keen cyclist, representing the Combined Services and a civilian race team, I thought I would

challenge myself mentally and physically this year, so during my R&R I am going to be competing in the

National 12 hour Time Trial (TT) Championships which are being held in Yorkshire on Sunday 29 July 2012.

Now for those whom are not savvy with the sport, the National 12 hour TT basically means riding your

„road or time trial bike‟ as fast and as hard as you can for 12 hours, with the winner being the person who

can clock up the most mileage and is then crowned National Champion (Before you ask the race is

conducted on road circuits in the Yorkshire countryside and not in a straight line from A-B).

To help me train I thought that it would motivate myself even more if I rode the equivalent mileage whilst

out in Afghanistan from Camp Bastion back to the Squadron Headquarters at Perham Down, helping to

raise money for two charities along the way.

The plan was to ride (static on a set of rollers) an average of 19.75 miles a day for a period of 180 days

whilst out in Afghanistan, covering a total of 3,552.5 miles (distance back to Perham Down). The challenge

would start after RSOI and the handover from our predecessors (29 AES) on Monday 19 March and

eventually finish on Sunday 16 September. Now, 20 miles a day may not sound like much of a challenge as I

normally (or try too) bang out 100-120 miles a week training (including racing) when back in the UK.

However, as 50% of my time would be spent visiting the various Patrol Bases and Check Points which the

Troops are working in, it soon become apparent that this would certainly be testing to say the least.

Coupled with this, Squadron Headquarters (SHQ) based back in Bastion, led by the Officer Commanding,

Major Jamie Stuart decided that they would „try‟ and race me back to the UK

The Rules: They could only run, row and use the cross trainer to try and beat me back and were initially

limited to 6 people in the team (averaging 3.25 miles a day).

The Team: Major „Jamie‟ Stuart, Super Captain „Sabre‟ Brown, Capt „Ray‟ Byrne, SSgt „Ben‟ Smith, SSgt „I‟ll

fold you in half with a judo chop‟ Chesney and little chief Private Gaz Walters.

So the race began…! Well for them it did as unfortunately there was a flaw in my plan, and that was banking

on our dear Royal Air Force (RAF) in actually getting my bike to Afghanistan in the first place! The bike

eventually arrived on Thursday 29 March and that put me firmly 10 days (200 miles) behind schedule and

the SHQ team were in a commanding lead after enlisting the help of the SQMS (SSgt „Jase‟ West); so the

SHQ 6 become the SHQ 7!

Another substitute later in the form of SSgt “I don‟t do CV” (Steve) Engleby stepping in for SSgt “Ben”

Smith, the SHQ 7 continued to make good progress clocking up the miles but along the way losing SSgt „Jon‟

Chesney who had to fly back to the UK. Playing their joker card the team enrolled the help of Capt “The

Lord of Perham Down” (George) McCrea Esq whom is separated from the hub of the team and spends his

time on the front line mooching around the gardens of Lashkar Gah (or normally known as „ Lash Vegas‟).

So as of Saturday 07 Apr the SHQ 7 found themselves 48 miles behind schedule having covered 352 miles

and I was 175 miles behind schedule only covering 225 miles (but in 7 days worth of cycling). Some good

mileage has been put in by the team and the QM leads the way having covered 89 miles since the start

which is an excellent effort.

Determined as ever I continued with my training regime of getting up at 0545hrs (quarter to six for non

military) and putting in a steady 20 miles before work and mounting the bike after work at around 1700hrs

for another session of anything between 20 – 40 miles depending on my recovery and how I am feeling. It

wasn‟t until the evening of Tue 17 Apr when the moment came where I finally caught up to where I should

be – I was finally on schedule…… Wahooo, I was so chuffed that I banged out an extra mile just so that I

could actually say that I was ahead of schedule. 601 miles completed so far and a day of well earned rest

from the bike today (while visiting 1 & 2 Troop in PB2) and I‟ll catch up the outstanding 40 miles tomorrow.

Meanwhile the SHQ 7 are making good progress and when I left Bastion this morning they were around 20

„ish‟ miles ahead. However, once I get back to Bastion it will only be a matter of time before I smash their

distance into last week and take the lead which won‟t be given up!

If you would like to keep track of who is banging out the miles and winning the race to the UK then fear not

as monthly updates will be published in the Phoenix times and updated regularly on Facebook. If you would

like to donate some money to compliment my effort then you can do so at the links at the end of this

article. All proceeds will go to the Regimental charity for the Naomi House Hospice and A Smile for a Child.

Please donate whatever amount you can spare. You will find „Naomi House‟ charity web page at

justgiving.com/helmandonabike or „A smile for a child‟ can be found at justgiving.com/steviebiddulph

Early morning training session Full Flight at a race in the UK

2 Tp, - Op KAPCHA Tree felling Task, Cpl Hissey and Spr Smith 01 Apr 12 CP SOLER Chainsaw Massacre

On Sat 31 Mar 12 Cpl Hissey and Spr Smith were escorted by a vehicle move from PB2 (Patrol Base 2) down to CP JEKER (Check Point) by the mighty Cpl Mackenzie and his section. After arriving the OC and CSM made us welcome alongside the Infantry based at CP JEKER. The CSM explained that his lot whom were mounted in PM vehicles

would escort us to CP SOLER at 0730hrs on Sun 1 Apr 12 to commence the tree felling task, Op KAPCHA, to the north of CP SOLER which was obscuring the view of a sangar.

By 0800hrs on Sun 1 Apr 12 the chainsaw pair had arrived at CP SOLER and was able to get eyes on the task,

that’s where the realisation of the magnitude of the task sunk in. The CSgt in charge of CP SOLER needed to fell the trees running north to south approx 50m off the western wall before dog legging approx 70m west to east in front of the northern wall. The task commenced at 0930hrs after the local

Brimstone searched the task site to ensure the area was clear of any IEDs.

The tree line that needed felling ran

along a wadi which made felling difficult at times but manageable. The trees ranged from new trees, small saplings, to old trees and densely populated areas. By 1200hrs 70% of the task was complete which consisted of the new and small sapling trees.

Due to the noise and trees falling, it created a lot of interest from the local children. They found the whole process of tree felling fascinating and looked as though they had never seen anything like that before.

After lunch work commenced on the last of the last trees which were old and dense. These trees made work more

difficult but after a persistent attitude and some strange felling techniques we managed to fell the trees which then left the northern sangar with a clear field of view. The task was complete by 1500hrs and the CSM picked us up in the PM vehicles and was back in CP JEKER by 1730.

This was a challenging and enjoyable task which was very unique with a lot of interaction with the local nationals.

Spr Smith cutting a text book move

The Skies the limit as Cpl Hissey makes short

work of tree felling

Spr ‘Smudge’ Smith taking a knee

60 Seconds with........

LCpl Cooper

SHQ

What is your

best PFT Time? 8.40

What was the last music

you downloaded/brought? Drake

- Headlines

What is your greatest sporting achievement: Completing

kayaking foundation course

What is the best thing about your

job? Knocking off

What is the worst thing about

your job? Dry camp’s

What would your ideal ‘civvie’ job

be? Fireman

What is your favourite film: True

Romance

What is your favourite TV Programme? Peep show

What is your favourite food?

Sunday roast

What is your favourite drink?

Cider

What is your favourite cheese? Wednesleydale with apricot

What is your favourite wine?

Cider

What is your best military

achievement? Surviving 8 years

What are your plans for your Op Bonus? Saving for a house

What would be your elevator music if you were to appear on ‘Take me Out’? Lionel Richie – All night long

If you weren’t an Engineer what

cap badge would you be? None

1 Troop Monthly Update – Lt „Dave‟ Hicketts

1 Tp have had a productive month since arriving at PB Attal in mid March; various tasks have been completed including a road that would give the bus lane in Bridlington High Street a run for its money and an accommodation bunker that was built under the expert eye of Cpl Adrian Mackenzie „Old Mac‟. 1 Section (Cpl Mack‟s band of merry Sappers) have been detached to assist a struggling 2 Tp with the construction of heli-pads in the Nahr-e-Saraj area of operations – clearly 2 Tp has been spending too much time in the gym and not enough time on the job. This writer lays the blame squarely with 2 Troop Commander. Boots fit (most people) and the mail is getting through (rather infrequently). „Our Lady‟s Queen of Martyr‟s‟ RC primary – Jessica and Corrie Benn‟s school sent some morale boosting mail this week (see photo), year 2 sent some lovely drawings and messages to cheer up SSgt Benn AKA „The Egg‟ and the rest of one Tp. I hope they like the photograph! Cpl Jamie Brown is about to spend the next ten days with his section in an assortment of bases across the Lashkar Gah area of operations to give them some much needed Royal Engineer love. Hurrah for the CRE! Update definitely not written by Lt Dave Hicketts.

One for the Ladies: Spr Charles Folly and

John Frankham occupy there down time by

building their very own pull-up bar. Strong!

SLDT (P) COURSE

Spr Purnell 2 Troop On returning to Camp Bastion on the 16th April from CP Tora via PB1 and a 3 hour Mastiff drive, (thanks to somebody breaking down at the main gate) I was pleased to find out that my Self Loading Dump Truck (Protected) (or SLDT (P) for short) course was to be run by our very own Cpl „Cid‟ Ciddelapaz. On the first morning LCpl Wigg and I were taken through a first parade check, cab tilt, parts and components, cab controls and a driving assessment. We then drove to the Plant and MT/Resources yard where we taught how to operate the outriggers to level the wagon off then Cid took us through a full demonstration of how to break out the crane. After this instruction period it was time for Wiggy and I to have a go, which went quite smoothly until the crane locked out and it just happened to go wrong during the first time I have seen rain in Afghanistan and we got soaked. This turned out to be a common fault in the SLDT (P) and is caused by not doing the correct closing down procedure, which in a way was good for us because it helped with our knowledge of faults that can happen on the ground.

On day two we started off with a crane signals lesson and then Cid gave us the task of using the crane and hook lock to pick up and transport various loads around the yard to practice our crane operating and our newly taught signals. After this we were then shown how to operate the skip and that the assessment for the course would include real time filling our HESCO baskets around Camp Bastion for loading and unloading bays. Prior to knocking off for lunch we concluded with a cross country drive around the quarry.

After scoff (or lunch as you may know it) we drove the wagon to a spill pit where we were loaded up by Cpl „Pass‟ Passarelli in his Medium Wheeled Tractor (MWT). Our first basket to fill was next to the 8 Sqn Ops room which went smooth except that the wind decided to annoy us and blow the dust over everyone as we filling the HESCO. The majority of the other baskets were around the REME workshops. There were no real problems in the task and Pass kept everyone stocked with cold drinks and beef jerky. When we completed this task we went to evening scoff and we were then back out to conduct a night drive which consisted of operating the crane using the working light and manoeuvring the wagon in the dark using signals by torch light. Day Three mainly involved maintenance of the vehicle as it was later on booked into REME for a Disposal Inspection as the vehicle is now entering the Regeneration Process. We started off by tipping the remaining spill off the skip and stowing the Bucket from the crane. The vehicle had been well prepped by Cid and this showed us how important it is to keep the wagon well maintained and greased. We then went to the wash down point where Cid‟s OCD became apparent when it comes to washing vehicles. Even though Pass says Cid has the worst office admin in NATO I thought we were going to be at the wash down all day as Cid was never happy with how clean it was even after he had taken the hose of the LEC and started cleaning it himself. Next was onto the servicing bay to finish the course by greasing up the wagon and ensuring it was good condition to either to be used on a course or straight out on the ground.

This edition of the PT, the Ed would like to congratulate the following people:

Sgt ‘Carl’ Webber – Recce Sgt NES (S)

A massive congratulation’s go out to our Sgt ‘Carl’ Webber who was selected for promotion to the

rank of Staff Sergeant on Thursday 19 Apr 12.

Carl is currently working out of PB2 as the recce Sergeant for the region of NES(S).

LCpl ‘Leigh’ Parker & Amy Parker

A huge congratulation’s go out to LCpl ‘Leigh’ Parker and his wife

Amy on the birth of their first child Gracie.

Gracie was born on Wednesday 4th April 2012 weighing in at 7Ib 3oz

Capt ‘Tom’ Docker – BGE NES (S)

A small congratulation’s go out to Capt ‘Tom’ Docker who on Sunday 31st March 2012 was awarded his very first operational service medal for Afghanistan. Well done Capt D and keep up the good work you’re doing ‘outside the wire’.

Capt D is currently working out of PB2 as the Battle Group Engineer for NES(S).

FREE, 8 ARMD ENGR SQN TOP TRUMP CARDS, 97 TO COLLECT, SEE THE BACK PAGES FOR DETAILS

Sapper Stanley and Mcgeechan

A big well done goes out to Spr ‘Jack’ Stanley and Spr ‘Deano’ Mcgeechan whom on Thursday 26 April 2012 were selected for promotion to Lance Corporal. Well done lads and good to see that all your hard work over the last year has paid off! Look forward now to JNCO duties and mess bills!

Firstly I’d like to welcome the readers to the 2nd edition of the PT, for those eagle eyed readers amongst you; you will have noticed that my column was missing when the Editor went to print last month due to contractual negotiations. I’ve now been paid the chocolate muffin and won’t talk about the subject again. Belated Birthday Messages A special shout out for the following readers who have already had their special day: Spr Clutts Clutton Best wishes for 17th March, Big Boy at 20 years old Spr Rab Morrison Many happy returns for 20th March LCpl Wiggy Wigg Happy 26th Birthday for the 24th March Spr Richy Graham A big 24 years old on 10th April, how time flies Sgt Si White 33 years on 18 April. Happy Birthday Si Spr Dan Hamilton 23 years on 21 April SSgt Dylan Tait 21 again (well 21 x 2), Dylan was 42 on 24th April Cpl Jonny Walker 27 on 25th April, aged 27 ahh those were the days Forthcoming Birthdays I hope you all have that special day wherever you are, tell the chefs that UNCLE RAY says “you can have an extra pudding”. Spr Liam Rising Have a great day on 30th April because your 23 Spr Ryan Staff 22, Uncle Ray hopes your not too excited for the 2nd May Spr Louis Hamson 23, you don’t look a day over 30! Happy B day for 5th May LCpl Ben Hall 26, Many happy returns from all your friends for the 10th May LCpl Andy Atherton 27, knocking on a bit now mate, Happy B Day 11th May

The sun is shining through URANUS at the moment causing a

constellation, but as luck would have it you will come across a shinny

new ring on Thursday after sunset. You should be patient before

booking that skiing holiday as there may be deals about later in the

year. The clouds in the sky are disappearing and temperature is about

to rise, so caution is advised if you’re wearing shorts on leather car

seats.

If you would like a Birthday mention or know someone who is coming of age then please send in details and a

photo to “Uncle Ray” @ the Phoenix Times, 8 AES, Engr Fd Sqn 2, Op HERRICK 16, BFPO 792.

PHOENIX TIMES EXCLUSIVE! BIRTHDAY PICTURES WITH SGT SI WHITE FROM LASH VEGAS

Is it the fact that Spr „Skids‟ Hartgen has taken his “Robocop” impression too far or SSgt Ben Smith is looking

remarkably bigger than SSgt Steve Engleby. LCpl Mattey caught catching up on his daily fix of Eastenders

or Spr Allen and Hamilton playing in the sand pit.

Please send your captions to:

Caption competition The Editor, Phoenix Times 8 AES Engr Fd Sqn 2 TFH Engr Gp Op HERRICK 16 BFPO 792 All captions received will be published, subject to content!

FREE, 8 ARMD ENGR SQN TOP TRUMP CARDS, 97 TO COLLECT, SEE THE BACK PAGES FOR DETAILS

NO......LET US FINISH THAT.......2 TP! – Spr ‘Jamie’ Williams

On Friday 13 April, 6 Sappers and two Section Commanders from the mighty 3 Troop left PB NAHIDULLA and headed for PB 1. The tasks ahead looked promising as the two Section Commanders became geographically challenged, not once but twice. On arrival to PB 1 it was meal time and we were greeted with a Chinese when it was supposed to be ration day. Things were looking good.

TASK 1 The first task we had on our hands was the strip out of CP PARI. We had been warned that the CP was small, this became more apparent when we got there as we had to park the two Husky’s outside, and then stag on them as the local kids were out in force. Despite our best efforts they got away with four D shackles and a karabiner. There was a HESCO wall blocking our approach to the Elevated Sanger so this was swiftly flattened and work begun. The Sanger flew down and 1 hour in the roof was gone. The lads were then told “if we get this smashed out we won’t have to stay here tonight”. With CP PARI not being the nicest place to sleep we had a bit more incentive to get the job done and bug out. The fill in the HESCO was baked solid making it twice as hard to strip out, not to mention it being the hottest part of the day. Once the HESCO was off the structure flew down with the lads working balls out. By 8pm the Sanger and debris were gone but so was the light. The second job was a so called burns pits which turned out to be a room so the Medium Wheel Tractor effortlessly made this room open plan and slightly deeper. Despite our efforts of completing this 4 day task in just 1 day we still had to spend the night there but were rewarded with a day’s rest for our efforts.

TASK 2 MISTER MISTER, WANT TO BUY SOME SHACKLES? Our second task was to construct a range next to the HLS, which had to wait as we got a fastball to go back to CP PARI and take the gates off, so we emptied one of the Husky’s and travelled down there. We took the gates off and loaded them on to the Husky when we received our second fastball to put the gates back on! The gates were re-fitted better than they were in the first place and we left, to finally start the range. As we went to start the task again, we were again detailed elsewhere, this time back to PB 2 to pick up LCpl Q and the Medium Wheel Tractor (digger for the non POM). Surely there couldn’t be anything else to delay the range build we thought, but we were sorely mistaken. On return to PB 1 we were told we had won the bonus prize of staging on the now empty CP PARI. All night! In the morning the whole village turned up to try and get their hands on anything they could. We realised the lengths they would go through when one of the lads caught a man tunneling through the wall into one of the rooms.

Spr’s Coleman, Mitchel and Willams strippinjg out

the elevated sanger

The range finally started as we took out the perimeter wall, we then extended the perimeter to fit the range in. This was a long day which turned even longer when none of the plant could get close enough to fill the HESCO so we filled it by hand which was fun and again went on into darkness. We then had a few pot shots fired in our direction but this did not disturb the work in progress. The next day the majority of the range went up leaving only the finishing touches to do on the final day. This would have been done quicker if Spr Kev (class 2 carpenter) Mitchell could measure timber properly. We were then sent to pick up a casualty. So with doctor’s whites on we set of to go and collect the wounded soldier. When we got back to PB 2 it emerged that it was a sand fly bite and there was nothing wrong with the infantry man (apart from maybe a sore mangina). On the final day, finishing touches were applied to the range and we returned to PB NAHIDULLA.

The Finished range at PB L-R: LCpl Q, Spr’s Mitchel, Coleman, Williams, Cpl’s Walker, Gemmill, Spr’s Powis, Stewart, Betts and Lunan

NOM, NOM, NOM: The MWT eating everything in its path

The Journey So Far – Spr Crowe, 3 Tp

I really didn't know what to expect from my time with 8 Armoured Engineer Squadron. When you are in Camp

Bastion you could be anywhere in the world (anywhere that has been stripped of all vegetation and has a

proportionality large amount of Americans that is) but arriving in PB NAHIDULLAH was a nice surprise. I don't

think I was the only one ready to get out of Bastion - get the show on the road and start counting off the days.

So better than I expected was my first impression of the PB, a reasonable size, good accommodation, welfare,

kitchen, food hall and of course an excellent gym. We arrived and settled in under darkness so it was left till

morning for a full orientation.

The first task we had to carry out was to fix the razor wire on the perimeter wall which had fallen down in

places from the down draft from the Helicopters. We „PPE'd‟ up and got up on the wall to sort it out. This was

my first sight of Afghanistan….. I was surprised how green

it was and how the small children knew so many swear

words and hand gestures!

The next few days were full of little jobs around the

camp that would make life more pleasant for those residing

here which included plumbing and drainage upgrades and

the building of furniture. It was nice to hang around camp

for a few days just to settle in and orientate ourselves and

get a grasp of where we sat in the grand scheme of things.

After a few days I got the opportunity to go out on the

ground.......well in the Husky that is. One of the first things

that stuck for me is that people are everywhere!

Everywhere - you think you are in a rural area, but there

are people in the fields, working, children with their goat

herds and small groups of men randomly sitting under tree

lines.

This first time outside the wire I was amazed at how

structured the villages were, I guess I was expecting to

see a worn torn landscape that you see on BBC reports but

since being here I have realised that the media is very

picky of the images they send back home for all to see.

All in all my first impression of the real Afghanistan was

positive, the children (though cheeky) look healthy and

happy, the country seemed to be going about its business

despite the fact that large ISAF vehicles dominate their

roads and their children are getting selective language and

hand gesture lessons.

The move to our first big task was a long one, it proved to be a good time to check out the scenery, I am also

happy to report that I was not stoned once on top cover which I was told is an occupational hazard in that

position. On arriving at CP LARGAY it didn't seem too bad, things were basic but it was all there even though we

had been pre warned that the Chef was ……well lets just say he wasn‟t up to scratch and had the same cooking

ability as myself.......very little!

Spr Crowe sampling some of the Chef’s homemade

cooking

Sadly things didn't go quite to plan on this task, works were delayed and it turned out to be more of a 'Stagging

on' party for me. It became apparent that there was no need for everyone to be at the CP while the powers to

be were debating vital decisions, the call was made for the majority of the troop to head back to NAHIDULLAH.

I stayed on at the CP which was not too bad......unlike the food. Those of us left behind just helped out the

Infantry lads as much as we could with Stag and bits and pieces and of course moaned.... just the

usual....standard behaviour!

Then 3 days later Staff Tait appeared from round the side of the tent and gave us the good news that we were

to return to PB NAHIDULLAH. On the way back I did come under fire from some well-aimed projectiles from

who can only be identified as juvenile delinquents in a dish dash. These little b**gers are really good! You have

got to take your hat off to them they are a great shot and obviously spend a great many hours (no doubt whilst

they are supposed to be watching their goats) practicing and honing their skills ready for the ISAF mounted

patrols.

Arriving back at PB NAHIDULLAH, using the showers was like a dream and the food tasted like the finest in

NATO. I only got a day and a half of this bliss before packing myself off the Med Centre where I had to remain

for 4 and half tedious very long days, after this period of time I was very happy to regain my freedom and use

of gym facilities....oh....and Stag of course!

So we are all now settled into our permanent accommodation and the changeover of battle groups is complete,

we now know who we will be seeing or bumping into for the next 6 or so months whilst we are here at least.

And so for now that‟s it………….. standby for the next adventure.

MAY 2012 Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday

1 2 3 4 5 6

7 8 9 10 11 12 13

14 15 16 17 18 19 20

21 22 23 24 25 26 27

28 29 30 31

60 Seconds with........ Capt (Lord) McRea RE Esq

BGE LKG

What is your best PFT Time? NATO SECRET


you downloaded/brought? Bruno Mars

What is your greatest sporting achievement: Competing at British

Biathlon Championships

What is the best thing about your job?

MOB LKG or delegating Capt Docker

What is the worst thing about your job?

Not having Capt Docker here to

delegate too

What would your ideal ‘civvie’ job be?

Film Director

What is your favourite film: Any film that i’m watching with Kathryn

What is your favourite TV Programme? Take me Out

What is your favourite food? The food

that is infront of me!

What is your favourite drink? See

above

What is your favourite cheese? Cheesy

music @ Inferno’s in Clapton


Chatneu Neuf du pape What is your best military

achievement? Record holder for

soveigns Platoon @ RMAS with

record score

What are your plans for your Op

Bonus? Ask Kathryn

What would be your elevator music if

you were to appear on ‘Take me Out’? I’ve got 99 problems but my bitch

ain’t one

If you weren’t an Engineer what cap

badge would you be? SBS because i like the seaside!

60 Seconds with........ Spr Gladstone

1 Troop

What is your best PFT Time? 8.30


you downloaded/brought? The Verve

What is your greatest sporting achievement: Army under 23 rugby

What is the best thing about your job?

The lads

What is the worst thing about your job?

Sitting around in the office


Shark wrestler

What is your favourite film: Step

brothers

What is your favourite TV Programme? Outnumbered

What is your favourite food? Steak

(well done)

What is your favourite drink? Ice cold water

What is your favourite cheese?

Rockfort


Shareh What is your best military

achievement? J/Sqt in AFC

Harrogate

What are your plans for your Op Bonus? New car


you were to appear on ‘Take me Out’? Lionel Richie – dancing on the cieling

If you weren’t an Engineer what cap badge would you be? AGC because i

like a challenge

60 Seconds

with........ Spr „Stacey‟ Skitt

1 Troop

What is your best PFT Time?

10:01

What was the last music you downloaded/brought? Ed

Shearan

What is your greatest sporting

achievement: Regional Grand

Champion in kick boxing

What is the best thing about your job? Free Phy’s

What is the worst thing about your job? Being wrongly woken up for

stag!


Photographer for the National

Gepgraphic

What is your favourite film: Pulp

Fiction

What is your favourite TV

Programme?

Game of Thrones

What is your favourite food? Nando’s

What is your favourite drink? Pimms & Apple juice

What is your favourite cheese? Cottage

What is your favourite wine? Pink

Champers

What is your best military achievement? Put myself and a

SSM in hospital in a skiing accident

on AT

What are your plans for your Op Bonus? Buy an Audi S3


you were to appear on ‘Take me Out? You need me, I don’t need you

If you weren’t an Engineer what cap

badge would you be? AGC (ETS)

Every edition of the PT our resident Agony Aunt ‘Tommo’ will answer any questions or problems that

You may have whilst been out here in Afghanistan. So please don’t be shy and get your letters into

Tell Tommo at the Editors email address.

Dear Tommo

As we all know in this place we can get very lonely apart from Thursdays. However, I think I may have found a solution to combat this in the form of a grease gun, now I don’t want to get down to the nitty gritty with how we have become attached as I think you may find it disturbing. My question is do you think that the SQ will let me take her home with me. Spr Betts (not the one who loves pat testing).

Tommo says: Oh dear oh dear oh deary me. The SQ will most definitely not allow this as it’s not

Shiny or gucci enough and remember you will catch dermatitis.

Dear Tommo

I like to think myself quite an awesome driver, but every time I use a SLDT I break them if it’s not an FL12 in Sangin last time out here, it’s now the new Iveco this time around smack bang on the HLS. The problem is I keep burning clutches out on them it’s almost becoming as embarrassing as my love for Spr Quanbury, as I feel like I losing my top dog place in MT please help. LCpl Chris Keogh

Tommo says: Well Chris stop driving them like you stole them for a start. The New Iveco’s

are Automatic so again stop driving them like you stole it and treat them like a women NOT Spr Quanbury. As for the top dog position, I think you’re a close second behind LCpl Neale, whose just behind Spr Folly, in fact the list goes on too far so don’t worry too much.

Dear Tommo

Apart from my obvious affliction, I have a huge problem and I need help quick. I love to promote healthy body, healthy mind but I cant see to be able to walk past a fridge, office or anything that has chocolate in it especially Mars bars without gorging myself on them. Obviously I don‟t want to become rotund and I‟m sick of a colleague making me do press-ups when he catches me satisfying my fix in secret in the isos. Please inspire with how I can over come this problem?

SSgt Jase W.

Tommo says: This is a tricky one. I really think you should practice what you preach

with what you try and promote. How about selling the chocolate for charity for say $5 a bar that would soon make you stop? Either that or you will become massive and it won‟t just be because of the press ups!

Dear Tommo

Tommo help me! I like to think myself a little bit of a naturist. Given half the chance I won‟t hesitate in presenting my member. There is only one problem I keep volunteering myself for extra guard duties and feel I may this is not giving me enough exposure time for myself. What should I do as I‟m torn; I love staging on but love the thrill of flashing in my tent too. LCpl Coops

Tommo says: Well as I also live in your tent, I think I speak for everyone when I say

we have seen our fair share, even when we haven‟t wanted to. As for the stags, try reading the duty list fool we know that loving stag is a blag behave yourself, and whatever you do don‟t mix the two; it could land you in trouble!

60 Seconds

with........ Lt “Dave” Hicketts

1 Troop

What is your best PFT Time? 8.10

What was the last music you downloaded/brought? Maverick Sabre

What is your greatest sporting

achievement: Cycling end to end of

the UK in 9 days

What is the best thing about your

job? The blokes

What is the worst thing about your

job? The blokes

What would your ideal ‘civvie’ job be? Postman

What is your favourite film: Con Air

What is your favourite TV

Programme? Family guy

What is your favourite food?Fish

What is your favourite drink? Ale

What is your favourite cheese? Apple/smoked cheddar

What is your favourite wine? Dry

red

What is your best military

achievement? Comission to the RE

What are your plans for your Op

Bonus? Buying a new car, VW

What would be your elevator music if you were to appear on ‘Take me

Out’? Stay another day

If you weren’t an Engineer what cap badge would you be? AGC SPS pay

clerk

8 AES TOP TRUMPS

Pte ‘Gaz’ Walters: Chief Clerk: The best Little Chief in the business. He thrives on JPA and is a dab hand at Microsoft word. He has had 129 days off since he joined the Army, taking in 54 leave passes.

Special Skill: Messing up peoples wages 9.5

Intelligence Level: 63.4

Gun ability: -1.97

Fold

8 AES TOP TRUMP CARDS – SHQ TROOP

8 AES Top Trump cards are finally here, free with every issue, 97 to collect, don’t miss out.

Just simply cut out, fold, glue and in no time you will have the full pack. Play with your friends and family or simply lock away and cherish so one day you can play with your grand kids.

Years served: 2.7

Fold

8 AES TOP TRUMP CARDS – 2 TROOP



8 AES TOP TRUMPS

LCpl ‘Biffa’ Bacon: C3S Guru: LCpl ‘Biffa / Crispy/ Biscuits/ Streaky / Bacon are just some of the names this call sign goes by.

Special Skill: Truffle Shuffle 6.6

Intelligence Level: 64

Gun ability: 1.6

Years served: 9

Fold

Fold

8 AES TOP TRUMP CARDS – ECH



8 AES TOP TRUMPS

SSgt (SQMS) West: Yacht Master Chief: This man can find you ice in the desert but you’ll have to donate to charity for it. Known to like a Mars bar or too..

Special Skill: I’ll find you ice in the desert 4

2


Gun ability: 2.8

Years served: 21.9

Fold

Fold


8 AES Top Trump cards are finally here, free with every issue, 97 to collect,

don’t miss out.

Just simply cut out, fold, glue and in no time you will have the full pack. Play with your

friends and family or simply lock away and cherish so one day you can play with your grand

kids.

8 AES TOP TRUMPS

Cpl „Hacks‟ Mackenzie: 2 Tp: Section

Commander: He has the moves of Mick Jagger

and the looks to match!

Special Skill: A wiz on a Diablo 7


Gun ability: 5.24

Years served: 10.9

Fold

Fold




Fold

8 AES TOP TRUMPS

SSgt ‘Bricktop’Williamson: 2 Tp: This man thrives on the film snatch and has recently been selected for

promotion to WO2. The tidiest Staffie in NES(S).

Special Skill: OCD (but CDO as its got to be alphabetical 8


Gun ability: 4.6

Years served: 17

Fold



Just simply cut out, fold, glue and in no time you will have the full pack. Play with your friends and family or

simply lock away and cherish so one day you can play with your grand kids.

8 AES TOP TRUMPS

Cpl “Greg” Hissey; 2 Tp; Cbt 1: Likes to get the

bronze on but tends not to smile too often as it

causes wrinkles!

Special Skill: Armoured God 1.75


Gun ability: 5.71

Years served: 8

Fold

Fold

8 AES TOP TRUMP CARDS – SHQ TROOP

8 AES Top Trump cards are finally here, free with every issue, 97 to collect,

don’t miss out.

Just simply cut out, fold, glue and in no time you will have the full pack. Play with your

friends and family or simply lock away and cherish so one day you can play with your grand

kids.

8 AES TOP TRUMPS

Capt „Sabre‟ Brown: Sqn Second In Command: Holds the rank of “Super-Captain” and is the master of spreadsheets and sun bathing though not in budgie smugglers.

Special Skill: Sunbathing 8.9


Gun ability: 6.7

Years served: 9

Fold

Fold

Capt ‘Tom’ Docker has been getting about both as he likes to call it ‘outside the wire’ and indeed outside

the Phoenix Times. There is a smaller version of him hidden in this edition of the PT. Can you find where he is?

Help I’m lost! Oh no, Q Muscles has been out on the ground for the past 4 days and can’t seem to find his way to KFC at Bastion 2.

Can you help him find his way?

Officer Puzzle Time: Come on the DE’s here’s your chance to try and get something right: Answers will be

published next edition once the Ed has worked it out!

Phoenix H 16 - Second Edition

Documents

medium wheeled

greatest sporting

ssgt ben smith

favourite

capt tom docker

capt ray byrne

ideal civvie

spr frankham