Penny Mansfield: How can we increase the uptake of relationships support and education?

The Marriage Foundation„For the Sake of the Kids-Relationship Education- the problem,

policy & practice‟

How can we increase the up take of relationship support & education

Penny Mansfield CBEDirector, OnePlusOne

[email protected]

Friday 6th December 2013

i. About OnePlusOne

ii. Changing culture

iii. Universal Preventative support

iv. Targeted support

v. Changing behaviour

vi. Conclusions

Agenda

About OnePlusOne

1971 2013

Research into what makes relationships work, or not work

Putting the research into practice: training for family practitioners – Brief Encounters ®

Relationship support online: thecoupleconnection.net & theparentconnection.org.uk

Culture change and early intervention

Early intervention

PRIVATE PUBLIC

Picking up problems Picking up the pieces

Communication breakdown

Family breakdownEarly problems

Housing officer

HeathVisitor

Relative

TeacherClergy

FSW

GP

• Social services• Court services

• CAMHS• Relationship Counsellor• Police

Seeking emotional support –who people

turn to

• Almost 6 out of 10 would feel comfortable talking to their GP

• Webs of informal emotional support continue to play a major role in the lives of the majority of the population.

(British Social Attitudes Survey, 2009)

• 43% of people in intact relationships and 30% who are planning to separate have talked to their GP about their relationship .

(Department for Education,2010)

Attitudes to relationship support

Investigation of relationship difficulties and help-seeking behaviour:

(Ramm et al, 2010)

Main difficulties:

Transition to parenthood; challenges of raising children; finance, health and wellbeing influence of family and friends, infidelity

Relationship attitudes and beliefs

Relationship problems should be dealt with by couple

Most would not use a counselling service

Two distinct groups – developmental and non-developmental perspective

Most frequently used source of relationship support – informal

Relationship support more acceptable if anonymous, there when needed, preference for support from someone who could empathise with the situation and not take sides

Barriers to Accessing Support

• Availability

• Accessibility

• Acceptability

• Affordability

Enablers

• Identify strengths

• Building on strengths

• Reinforcing achievements

• Creating habits

starting point for thinking systematically

about barrier and enablers

COM-B Model

CAPABILITY

MOTIVATION BEHAVIOUR

OPPORTUNITY

Culture Change

“encouraging couples to see accessing relationship support as a normal thing to do to strengthen their relationship, rather than something sought at crisis point.”

(Department of Education, 2012)

Implementing culture change

Broadening Domains

Showcasing Behaviours

Nourishing Beliefs

Principles of our approach

PRAGMATISM starting where people are

PARTNERSHIP trusted, expert partners

SUSTAINABILITY building a legacy

Target audiences

Employers - new domain- high influence- we know the evidence and where we‟re starting from- high sustainability

New partners, new parents- key transition - focus of OnePlusOne‟s expertise and practice- high interest

Young people - high need- high interest- forming their ideas about relationships- ultimate in sustainability

Universal Preventative Support

Op-eds

Vulnerability- Stress- Adaptation Model(Karney & Bradbury, 1995; Bradbury & Karney, 2004)

Theoretical model with a rigorous and robust research base. Developed from findings of 115 longitudinal studies, 45,000 marital

relationships. The quality and stability of relationships depend on 3 interrelated factors:

1. Personal traits and experiences partners bring (Enduring Vulnerabilities).

2. Life events they encounter on the way (Stressful Events). 3. How they communicate and cope during difficult times (Adaptive

Processes).

Enduring Vulnerabilities

Stressful Events

Adaptive Processes

Relationship quality

Relationship Stability

The side doors - partners

New Parents

Me and my hubby have always had a good social life but obviously since our new baby girl has arrived things have

changed. Well they have for me at least! He still goes out all the time after work drinks and football at the weekend. While I

want us both to still have as normal a social life as possible I wish he would recognise that things have changed and we

should do things as a family. Has anyone else had to deal with this kind of thing? How did you resolve it?

Of course a baby is going to turn your social life upside down. There's a little person that needs constant care and attention. But sometimes one parent can

find it hard to put their pre-baby life behind them. You need to get back on track and on the same path this article shows the importance of compromise

(insert link here)

New Parent on forum

Forum Moderator response

HOOK

KNOW HOW

SHOW HOW

Young People

Me and my boyfriend have just moved in with each other and while I'm loving it I do feel like he's leaving everything for me to do. He does most of the cooking but I clean the flat, do all

the washing and ironing and set up all our household bills. We both work full time and I don't think it's fair it's all left to me. He even had the cheek to moan about the washing up being left on the side the other night despite the fact he was home

and I didn't get in until late after a night out with friends!

Moving in with one another can throw up challenges. You're learning new things about each other but you do need to work on communication and expressing how you feel before it boils up inside you and explodes later down the line. Learn more about the positive steps you should take to protect your relationship here

(insert link here)

Forum Moderator response

Young Person on forumHOOK

Behaviour change

Children talking –

Attention

Motivation

Children in the middle of parental conflict The evidence

“Observing conflict between non-resident parents appears to be particularly harmful when children feel that they are caught in the middle.”

• One parent denigrates the other parent in front of the child,

• Children asked to transmit critical or emotionally negative messages.

• One parent attempts to recruit the child as an ally against the other.

“Inter-parental conflict is a direct stressor for children, and it can also interfere with their attachments to parents, resulting in feelings of emotional insecurity.”

Professor Paul Amato, 2005

Children in the middle

When and how children are caught in the middle.

Attention icons

Behaviour Modelling Training (BMT)

BMT - one of the most widely used, well-researched and highly regarded psychologically based training interventions.

Based on Bandura‟s (1977) social learning theory.

Key elements:

• Attention – “I get it”

• Retention - “It sticks”

• Rehearsal – “I‟m practising”

• Transfer – “I am applying it…to new situations”

• Motivation – “I can change, things will improve”

Distinctive features of BMT design

• Describes a set of skills to be learned.

• Models displaying effective use of behaviours.

• Opportunities to practise those behaviours.

• Feedback and social reinforcement following practice.

• Transfer of behaviours.

• Common scenarios

• 5 different families

• Focus on child

• Progressive

over 1000 participants

(Percentage answering very useful or useful)

• 90% clips of children talking about how they felt.

• 85% clips of adults talking about how they felt.

• 86% watching the videos (seeing exactly how people can make a change, by learning a skill).

What was useful?

• Think about the factors that interact to generate behaviour –capability, opportunity and motivation.

• Identify and understand barriers.

• Identify and understand enablers.

• Know your audience – their needs, what engages them, their learning styles.

• Identify „side doors‟ – where your target audience are already.

• Partnership with „side doors‟.

Conclusion- How to increase uptake of

relationship support & education

Resources

https://oneplusone.org.uk

https://thecoupleconnection.net

https://theparentconnection.org.uk