AFFINITY: The 3 rd Way
Jan 11, 2016
AFFINITY: The 3rd Way
Affinity: The 3rd Way
by
Paul Voodini
*
Copyright Paul Voodini 2014
*
Unauthorised reproduction
absolutely forbidden
We are Nothing
if
We are not Love
Introduction
For a long time I earned my living as a tarot card
reader. Even when I was being employed to work at
various functions as a magical entertainer, my ability to
provide tarot card readings was a skill that I fell back on
time and time again. If I can do one thing well, I believe, it
is provide good readings.
I have often wondered why I seem to have a knack for
providing readings, and after much deliberation I think I
have come to an answer.
Firstly, I do not employ any cold reading tricks. I
learned how to read tarot cards in the traditional manner –
IE I studied each card and its meaning and committed
these meanings to memory – and because of this it has
never crossed my mind to employ any stock phrases or
cold reading tricks. I simply tell the sitter what each card
means. I am, in a very real sense,a tarot card reader.
Secondly, I have a deep seated desire for people to like
me. I worry that my reading may not be good enough or
that the sitter will tell me that I am making no sense.
Because of this I am earnest in my endeavour and want to
make an emotional connection with the sitter whereby we
experience the reading as a team, rather than performer
and spectator. I feel that sitters pick up on my earnest
desire for them to like me, and my desire for the reading
to be a positive experience for them.
Therefore, in a nutshell, my personal key to providing
positive, uplifting, and accurate readings is all in the mind.
But not in the mind of the sitter. In the mind of the reader.
Of Shut Eyes and Open Eyes
I have often is the past used the phrases 'shut eye' and
'open eye' to differentiate between those readers who
believe they have some paranormal or esoteric gift (shut
eye) and those who know that they are using certain
techniques, often referred to as 'cold reading' (open eye). I
shall, no doubt, use these phrases once again in this text.
However this book is sub-titled 'The Third Way', and the
reason for this is that I have always tried to steer my own
path somewhere between both the shut eye and the open
eye. In a strange way, I have always regarded myself as
being both shut eye and open eye at the same time. It is
my intention to explain why I believe this, and also to
describe how you too can walk this 'third way' in this
manuscript.
Both the path of the shut eye and the path of the open
eye have their advantages and disadvantages. Let us look
at each standpoint in a little more detail.
Shut Eyes
Shut eyes take several different forms, but in the main it
boils down to this: they regard their method of divination
(tarot cards, palm reading, crystal ball etc.) as a tool by
which their particular talents are able to express
themselves. They may believe that they are psychic or that
they have a heightened sense of intuition, or they may
believe that they have mediumistic abilities and that spirits
talk to them. However they perceive their abilities, the
tarot cards etc. help them to interpret the messages that
their talents are sending them.
They believe whole-heartedly in their ability, and their
belief is that their 'gift' comes with a duty to help others.
However once the individual begins to believe that they
have some supernatural power that 99% of the population
do not possess, it is very easy to start to elevate one's
perception of oneself, and to begin to think that one is
'better' than others. The psychic world abounds with
horror stories of readers who have said the most awful
things to their sitters – from predictions of death and
illness through to chastisements from dead relatives living
in spirit – and all because the reader believes they have a
'gift' and feel they must say everything that they 'see'
regardless of how such information may affect the sitter.
The phrase 'I tell the sitter everything, warts and all' is too
often worn as a badge of honour by readers who seem to
take a perverse delight in leaving their sitters in tears.
However at least these shut eyes truly believe they have
a gift and are honest, if perhaps a little misguided, in this
belief. There are some of course who know only too well
that they have no gift at all but use the psychic world as a
vehicle to gain fame and wealth. This manuscript is not
intended to deal with or even discuss these people. We
know they exist, there is no denying that they are out
there, but they are fewer in number than most suppose and
no matter how one huffs and puffs, there will always be
'rotten eggs' in all areas of human society.
Open Eyes
Open eyes are readers who are aware that they possess
no special gifts, but they have learned how to understand
and interpret various divination techniques, whether they
be tarot cards, palm reading etc. They will see themselves
merely as 'readers' as opposed to being 'psychic' or
'mediums'. They are aware that they are using a technique
to provide the readings, but they do so with a good heart
and with the genuine intention of wanting to help others
(along with, as always, to earn money).
Many mentalists who become readers would fall into
this bracket. In the past I have staged and promoted
psychic fairs in the UK, and have populated them with
mentalists giving readings. I felt safer and happier
employing mentalists rather than psychics and mediums
because I knew that, for the most part, mentalists would
not go down the 'warts and all' route and upset their sitters.
However the techniques often employed by mentalists
(perhaps crudely described as 'cold reading') are now so
openly available that they can be picked up, learned and
employed by those from the magical word whose
intentions are, perhaps, a little more vague. The magician,
for example, who is used to finishing routines with a 'ta-
da' moment, may look for a similarly big finish when
providing a reading. Perhaps seeing the sitter emotionally
affected by the reading will give the misguided magician
an impression of a 'ta-da' moment and he may go out of
his way to achieve this big finish, without understanding
that in readings there should be no big finishes, no drum
rolls, no crashing cymbals, but simply an understanding
ear and compassion.
Like the psychic who believes they have a god given
gift, the magician in possession of a little knowledge
elevates himself above the sitter due to the belief that he
knows the secret of how to provide readings.
Both open eye and closed eye readers have an inherent
danger of seeing themselves as being 'better' than those
they read for. This leads us then to the first rule of the 3rd
Way:
Rule #1 of the 3rd Way:
When giving a reading, imagine
that the sitter is actually there to
provide a reading for you.
There is an organic affinity betweenjoyousness and tenderness, and their
companionship in the saintly life needin no way occasion surprise. -
William James.
Love is the affinity which links anddraws together the elements of theworld. Love, in fact, is the agent of
universal synthesis. - Pierre Teilhardde Chardin.
Affinity vs Sympathy
The title of this book is 'Affinity: the 3rd Way'. You may
be wondering why I chose the word Affinity for the title.
The truth is that this book is all about affinity, and in
particular affinity as it relates to providing readings.
Affinity, essentially, is the 3rd Way.
I hate to do the clichéd thing and give the dictionary
definition of affinity, but I'm going to anyway! And then
I'm going to go on to outline just why I believe affinity is
so very important if you want to become a great reader.
Not just a good reader, but a great reader.
NB – I'm assuming at this point that everyone who
will read this manuscript understands that when I say
'reader' I am referring to a person who gives readings
with tarot cards, palms, crystal balls, etc., as opposed to
somebody who reads books!?
So, those dictionary definitions of the word affinity:
A natural attraction, liking, or feeling of kinship.
An inherent similarity between people.
A relationship or resemblance that suggests a common
origin.
Almost every person who will ever come to you for a
reading will do so because they have some problem or
issue on their mind. This is true whether you work as a
one-to-one reader whereby you visit people in their own
homes or perhaps where they come to you, or whether you
work exclusively providing 'psychic parties' or at psychic
fairs. Even if you only provide readings in an
entertainment setting, perhaps as a strolling palm reader or
similar, you can be sure that every single person you come
across has some issue or problem on their mind. It is a
truth of the human condition that, whether they admit it to
you or not, every single person in this world has
'something on their mind'. Any human being who isn't
pondering an issue, debating something in their mind,
analysing something, or just downright worried, is
probably insane.
Think about your own life right now. How many issues
are passing through your mind right now? From the
mundane - “How am I going to get to the shops and get to
work on time?” - to the dramatic - “I don't think I love my
partner any more.” You, and all humans, are continually
worried/concerned/anxious to varying degrees about a
wide variety of issues.
Knowing this fact may prompt you to, when providing
readings, give sympathy to your sitter. To try to make
them feel better. However I believe that this is the wrong
approach. Rather than offering sympathy, I believe the
reader should instead offer affinity.
Affinity creates connections between people. Sympathy
drives those connections away.
Affinity says, “I understand what you are going through
and I want you to know that you are not alone.”
Sympathy says, “Cheer up! Things could be worse!”
It can be very difficult to create affinity with a sitter,
because in order to do so you, as a reader, have to connect
with something in yourself that has felt or does feel in a
similar way, and that can make you feel vulnerable. It is a
self-preservation tactic employed by many readers to
create an emotional wall between them and their sitters, to
protect themselves from feeling upset. However in order
to be a great reader, I believe that is essential that the
reader embraces those emotions that are so often guarded
against.
A great reader has the ability to understand and take on-
board the perspective of the sitter, to stay well clear of
judgemental feelings, to recognise the emotions in the
sitter and to communicate this understanding. It is not the
reading that will leave the sitter feeling better; it is the
conversation, the connection, the opportunity to talk to
another human being who isn't going to judge them, offer
them a quick fix, or tell them to 'turn that frown upside
down'. The great reader simply understands and feels an
affinity for the sitter.
I will explain how this connection is made...
Rule #2 of the 3rd Way:
Connect With Something in Yourself
that Knows that Feeling!
On some occasions the sitter will tell you right away
what the issue on her mind is. Other times this declaration
may come at some point during the reading. When you
discover what the issue on the sitter's mind is, connect
with that emotion in yourself. Look inside yourself, seek it
out, and bring it to the fore. Offer a sense of affinity with
your sitter. Simply by connecting with a similar emotion
within yourself, this will communicate your understanding
on a subconscious level to the sitter. They will begin to
relax, to trust you, and to feel themselves this sense of
affinity.
The sitter may never reveal to you exactly what their
personal issue is. In this case, and at the start of each
reading, by aware of your own emotions and issues. Allow
yourself to be vulnerable, open, and welcoming. That way
a sense of kinship, of affinity, will be forged effortlessly.
One human being to another with an unsaid dialogue
passing between the two that says, “I understand.”
The issues on most sitters' minds will be either
love/romance or work/money related. All problems in
life boil down to these two issues. The distillation of life
produces two compounds – love and money. You
yourself know all about love and money. You yourself
are an expert on both subjects. You know, you
understand, what is on the sitter's mind because it is
on your mind too. Connect with them and form that
affinity.
Rule #3 of the 3rd Way:
Don't Look for a Silver Lining!
We have already spoken of the difference between
affinity and sympathy. Affinity says “I understand”,
whereas sympathy says “Cheer up! Things could be
worse!”
A sitter sits before you and reveals that she is afraid that
her relationship is breaking down.
Affinity says: “I understand. I have been there too. You
are not alone.”
Sympathy says: “I'm sure everything will be okay.”
A sitter sits before you and reveals that she is afraid that
she will soon lose her job.
Affinity says: “I understand. I have been there too. You
are not alone.”
Sympathy says: “It might be for the best! As one door
closes, another opens.”
A sitter sits before you and reveals that they are
concerned that their partner is being unfaithful.
Affinity says: “I understand. I have been there too. You
are not alone.”
Sympathy says: “It'll all work out for the best, you'll
see.”
A good reader will offer sympathy. A great reader will
demonstrate affinity. A poor reader, of course, will do
neither but will blurt out their impressions 'warts and all'.
Rule #4 of the 3rd Way:
Thank You for Sharing!
If a sitter shares some intimate detail with you, even if
it's only to tell you that they're worried they might lose
their job, thank them for sharing this deeply personal
piece of information with you! After all, you are likely to
be a complete stranger to them, and the fact that they feel
comfortable enough to divulge intimate details about their
life with you is not only a testament to you as a reader, but
to the bravery and trust of the sitter. It takes a lot to
become vulnerable in the eyes of a stranger – thank them
for trusting you enough to do this. It doesn't have to be a
long exchange. Simply say, “Thank you for sharing that.”
At that point they will know you to be the great reader that
you are.
Rule #5 of the 3rd Way:
I Love You!
It may sound a little twee, but love really is the greatest,
most powerful emotion of all. Every sitter you will ever
encounter in your life as a reader is someone's mother,
someone's daughter, someone's wife, girlfriend, aunty or
grandmother. Every sitter knows love intimately. When
you look at them, imagine how much love they have
surrounding them. See it as an aura, and imagine how
many people in this world love this person. It may only be
one person, it may be a hundred, but the truth is that
everyone you will encounter has love in their life and has
experienced love throughout their life, in one form or
another, to lesser or greater degrees.
Everybody has had their heart broken, everybody has
lost a loved one, everyone has cried themselves to sleep at
night. We all know love intimately. It is usually a
comforting blanket to wrap around us. Occasionally it
seems to mock us, and can even make us cry. But we all
know love, we all love others, and others love us.
When you meet a sitter for the first time, decide to add
your own love to theirs. At first sight, this notion may
seem like some kind of hippy free love nonsense. But
think for a moment. How much more motivated would
you be to provide a good reading for someone who you
loved? You would want to do your very best for them,
because you care about them and would want to ensure
that the reading was an uplifting, positive experience.
It would be, I fear, just a little too twee if I was to
suggest to you that every time you encountered a new
sitter you think to yourself, “I love you.” That you look at
the sitter and decide that for the duration of the reading,
you will tell yourself that you love this person. That would
simply be a little too much, wouldn't it? But hey, why not
try it? Give it a go. See how it works out for you.
On occasion I have encountered a less than enthusiastic
sitter, or a particularly cynical sitter. Perhaps they didn't
really want a reading but were forced into it by a friend or
partner, or perhaps they were a little worried by what the
'psychic' was going to say to them or reveal about them,
and this anxiety manifested itself as negativity. By telling
myself that I love this person, this unenthusiastic and
slightly confrontational sitter, I have managed to win them
around, to relax, to start to enjoy the experience, and have
them leave with a smile on their face. How does this
work? Perhaps it is that they pick up on the nuances of my
body, voice, and the words that I use, all inspired by me
telling myself that I love this person. Or perhaps the fact
that I tell myself that I love this person inspires me to give
a better reading than I would have otherwise, and the fact
that I am so obviously going the extra mile, being earnest
and interested in them, wins them over, cracks the ice, and
allows their true personality to flourish.
Whatever the truth, whatever the reason, all I can report
back to you is that it works. In my mind I see myself as
almost forcing them to like me by the strength of the love
that I am projecting out. I see myself as a super-hero with
telepathic powers, but the only energy I can transmit with
this power is love. Perhaps my super-hero name should be
Love Man. I'd get my ass kicked by Batman, that's for
sure.
At the very least I would suggest that when you
encounter a new sitter, you think to yourself, “I
acknowledge that you know love, that you love and are
loved. I see love around you as others may see an aura.”
Or perhaps it would just be easier to think, “I love you.”
Don't for a moment see this as being fake, false, or
disingenuous. Love is limitless, there's oodles to spread
around. Giving a little love to a stranger is a very positive
statement. And please, I'm talking about love in an
emotional sense. It's not code for sex or anything, you
dirty minded people.
Interlude
Woody: Look Jessie, I know you hate me for leaving, but
I have to go back. I'm still Andy's toy. Well, if you knew
him, you'd understand. See, Andy's...
Jessie: Let me guess. Andy's a real special kid, and to
him, you're his buddy, his best friend, and when Andy
plays with you it's like... even though you're not moving,
you feel like you're alive, because that's how he sees you.
Woody: How did you know that?
Jessie: Because Emily was just the same. She was my
whole world.
Everyone you meet is
fighting a battle that
you know nothing
about, but which you
understand perfectly.
Rule #6 of the Third Way:
Good Memories are Tinged with
Sadness.
In my previous works on cold reading, most notably my
Cold Reading Lecture, I talk about the very broad formula
which describes how every person tends to view their life.
This formula is:
The past was bad
The present is okay but decisions now have to be made
The future will be better
To quote from the Cold Reading Lecture:
“I quickly realised that no matter what the actual truth
might be, people tend to believe that the past year has
been a time of trials and tribulations. There may have been
some good elements, but in the main it has been a period
when it has been necessary to climb over some hurdles. I
believe that this is just another manifestation of the inner
spoilt child believing that they get it worse than others!
“The human experience, in the 21st Century, is such
that we are met with a series of decisions to be met and
made on an almost daily basis. We are constantly having
to make decisions about our lives, our careers and our love
lives. Should I look for a new job, am I happy in my
relationship, should I change my car, should I grow my
hair or get it cut, should I visit my parents more often,
where shall I go on vacation this year, what shall we have
for dinner, should I see the teacher about my child? All of
these are just a few examples of decisions that most
people wrestle with on a daily basis. Let me repeat that, a
daily basis.
“I don't want to make anyone feel insecure in their
relationship, but it is my experience that people examine
their love life every single day of their life, if not every
hour. (Affinity edit: This is especially true for females, less
so for males. A huge generalisation of course, but one that
is born out by experience) Am I happy in my relationship
(a ridiculously high percentage are not)? Should I run off
with the guy/girl in the office? People spend a ridiculous
amount of time analysing and making decisions about
their relationships. Careers are an issue that people are
also constantly examining, and of course there are a
hundred different decisions that are forced onto us by
circumstance, from do I want to accept the promotion that
means moving to another city to can I struggle on for
another week with that old vacuum cleaner that gives me
an electric shock every time I switch it off?
“We are quite literally at a crossroads in life every day
of our life! It is the price we pay for having more choice in
life. A hundred years ago (and certainly 200 years ago),
you got married once and stuck with it no matter what.
These days we have the freedom to explore our
relationships, our sexuality, and to make changes in our
lives if we are not happy. This is a good thing, but it
comes at a price. That price is the belief that things are
always better on the other side of the hill. And the choice
we have (and it's a choice we think about on a daily basis)
is when exactly to make our excuses and make tracks
towards that hill!
“The strange thing is that we don't realise we are at a
crossroads in life every day. Every day we are making
decisions, but once we have made those decisions we edit
them out of our lives. We forget about them. We forget
about them because we are caught up with this day's and
this week's decisions. We forget all about the other
crossroads we have dealt with because we are too busy
dealing with our current crossroads! Therefore when
analysing their life, people are aware that there are
decisions to be made in the here and now, but they don't
realise that there are decisions to be made each and every
day. They erroneously believe that once this day's, this
week's, or this month's decisions have been made, that will
be it. They'll be off and running, decisions made, full
speed along the open road ahead! Wrong. This time next
year they'll still be bogged down in decision making. They
may be different decisions that need to be made, but they
will be there all the same.
However due to this the formula for how people view
life holds true: past = bad, present = decisions, future =
good.”
This principle is so important as a reading technique
that I feel it is important to repeat it here. Essentially,
when providing a reading, bear in mind the fact that the
person sitting opposite you probably views their life along
the formula recounted above. There is no need to say as
much explicitly; it is often enough just to have the idea
bubbling away as an undercurrent, and can be alluded to
as the reading progresses. Other times you can bring out
the big guns, and be none-too subtle about it. One of my
favourite opening gambits in a reading is, after laying
down the cards, to say this: “Well, taking a quick look at
the cards here, I can tell you one thing for sure. The
coming year is going to be a lot better than the last year!”
Then, judging by their reaction (which is usually to smile
and nod vigorously), to follow this is up with: “Because I
can see that you've certainly had a lot of hurdles to get
over during the past year!” Obviously I can not say this to
every person I read for, but it is a great opening gambit to
be used sparingly. In truth I will only say it if the cards are
actually indicating such a thing. But if the cards do
indicate this, then I go for it in the sure and certain
knowledge that I'm about to blow them away! The
reactions you will garner from such a statement are a
broad smile at least, the sagging of the shoulders that
means the person you are reading for now, suddenly,
explicitly trusts you and knows you are a good reader and
therefore can relax, all the way through to tears – not of
sadness but of relief that here is someone (you) who
finally understands them and understands what they've
been going through. The key word here is understands.
You understand them. You have an affinity for them.
But believe it or not, we can make this even more
potent.
Here is a statement, and I shall go on to explain it
afterwards:
All happy memories are tinged
with sadness.
Take a moment now to examine your own happy
memories, memories of things that happened perhaps five
or more years ago. Think of the happiest memories and
keep those memories in mind. Now realise that along with
that happy memory, there will also be some sadness
attached to it. For example, thoughts of a happy day spent
with a partner will be tinged with sadness if you are no
longer with that partner, or if you feel that your
relationship is not that happy any more. Memories of
children will be tinged with sadness if they are now grown
up and not the little bundles of joy that they once were.
Thoughts of family holidays and vacations will be tinged
with sadness if some family members have passed on or if
get-togethers of that nature no longer occur. Every happy
memory has had some element of sadness or regret
attached to it by the intervening years.
I repeat because it's very important: every happy
memory has had some element of sadness or regret
attached to it by the intervening years.
Memories become happier and yet more melancholy
the more years pass by. It is the human condition to look
back on even the hardest of times through rose tinted
glasses and view them as being happier than they really
were. And behind the rose tinted glasses are tears; tears of
loss and regret and what-ifs.
How does such knowledge then fit in with the formula
mentioned above? It is my belief and my experience that it
should be amended to look something like this:
The past (5+ years ago) = good.
The past 12 months = bad.
The present = decisions to be
made.
The future = good.
So now, while providing a reading, a simple phrase
such as: “I'm picking up on some very happy memories.
This is going back in time now. It's further into the past
than the last year. This is going back maybe five years,
perhaps even more, maybe ten years. A very powerful
impression of happy times, but there's a sadness in there
too. A sadness that seems to have crept in more recently.
The memories are happy, but there's a sense of melancholy
or regret that has come to surround this memory too.”
Read that statement back and see if it applies to you. If
you're older than 25, there's a very good chance that you
will be able to place it and understand it. And realise that
if somebody said it to you, it would sound specific and
poignant.
This tool can also be used if the subject of the past (5
years or more) crops up during a reading. Perhaps you
have mentioned that the past 12 months have been a little
tough. “Yes,” agrees the person you are reading for, “but it
wasn't always that tough. I have a lot of happy memories
from the past ten years.”
“I'm sensing that as well,” you agree, “but, and excuse
me if I'm wrong here, I'm also picking up on some sense
of sadness tied in with those happy memories. I'm not sure
why. It seems to me that you have some very happy
memories, but more lately a sense of regret has somehow
seeped in. It's very strange. Would that make sense to
you?”
This is a powerful tool, the knowledge that regret and
remorse become an integral part of happy memories the
more distant the memory becomes. Use it wisely.
To recap – the six rules of the Third
Way:
#1 Imagine the sitter is reading for
you.
#2 Connect with something in
yourself that knows that feeling.
#3 Don't look for a silver lining.
#4 Thank you for sharing.
#5 I love you.
#6 Good memories are tinged with
sadness.
Rule #7 of the Third Way:
Imagine That!
“For that is where all crimes are
conceived and solved – the imagination,”
- Sherlock Holmes.
Now it's time for a little visualisation exercise! I'm
about to describe a place, and I want you to imagine it in
your mind. My description will be a little vague, so I want
you to add as much detail of your own to the image as you
possibly can.
You are in a library. To your left and your right are
bookshelves, and these bookshelves are crammed full with
books. In the middle of the room is a small round table.
There are six objects upon the table. Walk up to the table
and note what the objects are. It is not important to
memorise these objects, just look at them, and be aware of
them. At the far end of the room, there is a door. It is
closed.
Now, please, take a few moments, or even a few
minutes, to look around this library. You may wish to do
this exercise with your eyes closed or with your eyes open
– it really doesn't matter. Simply do this exercise in a
fashion that feels the most comfortable to you.
You know that the walls to the left and right of you are
home to bookshelves full of books, you know that there is
a table in the middle of the space and that there are six
objects upon the table, and lastly you know that at the far
end of the room there is a closed door. Apart from these
few facts, all the rest of the details regarding this library
are open to your own interpretation. So imagine this space
in your mind, and fill in all of those details. What is the
style of the library? Ornate or functional, or something
else perhaps? What is floor covered with? Carpet?
Marble? Wood? How bright is the library? Are their
lights? What are the shelves like? Can you read any of the
titles of the books? Perhaps you can look at the spines and
spot the words written there? Is there any noise? How
does the library make you feel? Take a few moments and
imagine the library, and realise that as you do you are
creating your own personal library. Nobody else will have
a library like yours. This library is unique. It is yours.
One you've taken a quick look around your library,
relax, open your eyes (if they were closed), and take a nice
deep breath. Well done! You've just visited a place that I
like to call the Imaginarium!
Think Left & Think Right & Think
Low & Think High! Oh the Thinks
you can Think if only you try! - Dr.
Seuss.
Imagination will often carry us to
worlds that never were. But without it
we go nowhere. - Carl Sagan.
Interlude
Sansa & Shae sit by the harbour looking out at the ships
arriving and departing. They play a game, imagining
stories and attributing them to the ships.
Sansa: “Dorne. It's going to Dorne.”
Shae: “Why Dorne?”
“It's carrying silk and it's supposed to bring back wine
in exchange. But it's not coming back. The captain's tired
of risking his life so King's Landing lords and ladies can
get drunk on better wine than they deserve. He's going to
stay in Dorne. Wait out the winter where it's beautiful and
warm.”
“I met some people in Dorne who weren't so beautiful
and warm.”
“Don't ruin the game.”
“I told you, I don't want to play.”
“What about that one there?”
“That one? It's going to Volantis.”
“Why?”
“Because when I got on a ship in Volantis, it looked like
that one.”
“That's not how the game works. You're not supposed to
just blurt out the right answer. You've got to invent a story
about where the ship is going and why.”
“Why should I make up a story when I know the truth?”
“Because the truth is always either terrible or boring.”
The Imaginarium is your personal space, and within it
you will find the answers you are seeking. It is your own
tool for providing wonderful readings. It augments any
reading technique (tarot, palm etc.) that you chose to use,
and will enhance the reading experience for both you and
your sitter.
Over the next few days, try to visit your Imaginarium
on several occasions. The more you do this, the easier it
will become. It will become easier to picture the library in
your mind and easier to imagine yourself entering it. With
only a little practice you will find that you can enter the
Imaginarium at a moment's notice.
How does it work?
The six objects sitting upon the table represent the six
laws discussed so far, namely: Imagine the sitter is reading
for you, connect with something in yourself that knows
the feeling, don't look for a silver lining, thank you for
sharing, I love you, and good memories are tinged with
sadness.
The six objects are unique to you. When you visit the
Imaginarium (by relaxing, perhaps closing your eyes, and
imagining your library), you will note the six objects on
the table and each one will remind you of one of the laws.
The six objects may remain the same, and every time you
visit the Imaginarium you will see the same exact objects.
Or the objects may change every time you visit. It doesn't
matter. You will be aware of how each of the six objects
remind you of one of the laws.
The books on the shelves provide all the answers that
you are looking for. The bookshelves on the left hold
books that talk of the past. They provide answers to
questions posed by past events and things that have
already happened. The books on the right talk of the
future. They provide answers to questions posed about the
future and things that have yet to transpire.
The door at the end of the room is closed. But behind it
lays some miraculous truth. Only open this door on special
occasions when extra insight is needed. It may be very
tempting to open this door every time you visit your
library, and to be honest no harm whatsoever can come
from opening this door every time. However my
experience, and my advice to you, is that the door works
best when it is used sparingly.
How do you use the Imaginarium?
The following explanation is based around a tarot card
reading, but it applies equally to any other kind of reading.
Your querent is seated opposite you. Remembering the
six rules previously discussed, you deal out the tarot cards
in whatever configuration you happen to be using. Once
the cards are dealt, you take a cursory look over them, and
get a flavour of what the cards are saying. Then just take a
moment to relax and in your mind enter the Imaginarium.
Now don't worry! You won't be spaced out for minutes at
a time with the sitter looking at you as though you've gone
crazy! This will take only a few seconds! Close your eyes
if you need to, and relax and imagine yourself in the
Imaginarium. First of all feel which way you are being
pulled. Are you being drawn to the books on the left (the
past) or the right (the future). Which way do you want to
head? To the left or the right?
Once you have discovered this (and really, it should
take no more than 5 seconds), begin your reading in your
normal fashion – remembering and employing the six
rules that we have discussed earlier in this manuscript.
Adding those six rules to your normal reading style will
hopefully enable you to enhance your readings, but by
also adding the information gleamed from the
Imaginarium, you will now be able to really provide
readings that are nuclear powered! How so? Well already
you have gleamed ('intuited', used your 'gut instinct',
whatever) the nature of the issue on your sitter's mind.
Whether you felt yourself being drawn to the left or the
right in the library, tells you if the issue at the forefront of
the sitter's mind is from their past (the left) or is regarding
a future event (the right). You have this knowledge now at
your disposal, and this can help you target the reading in
the right direction.
This small piece of knowledge may be enough, and
thanks to it you may answer any queries or questions that
the sitter has. However sometimes you may feel the need
to provide further answers or clarifications that seem to be
beyond the grasp of the cards. In these circumstances, re-
enter the library and feel yourself being drawn towards the
appropriate bookshelf (either to the left or the right). Once
you imagine yourself standing in front of the bookshelf, be
drawn instinctively to one book on the shelf. Pull it down,
open it up, and read the words that are written there. At
first this may take a little practice, to imagine a coherent
sentence or message written upon the page, so practice
doing this several times before attempting to use it with a
sitter. However you will find it easier than you might
think. Imagine opening up the book, and you find written
upon the page that you turn to a message or some insight
that it relevant to the sitter. Sometimes this will be merely
a single sentence (or even a single word), other times it
may be a paragraph. However long or short the message
is, it will be pertinent to the sitter.
And then on very rare occasions you may wish to walk
to the end of the room and open the door at the end. Once
the door is open, you may imagine yourself stepping
through it or merely looking through the door frame at the
scene outside. Trust your instinct on this; if you feel
unsure or even remotely worried, don't step through the
doorway. Nothing can hurt you of course, after all you are
simply imagining all this, but there's no sense in risking
upsetting yourself. If you feel happy, step through.
Otherwise, just take a look at the scene being played out
before you.
The scene being played out before you will give you a
great insight into the sitter opposite you. The scene may
be an actual scene from their lives, or, more likely, it will
be a metaphor for something that is going on in their lives.
You will see all manner of scenes, the scope and range of
which it would be silly of me to even try to list. It will be
like pulling a random DVD from a shelf, and flicking to a
random scene – you could quite literally see anything!
If you feel happy, step through the door and immerse
yourself in the scene. Otherwise simply observe from the
safety and sanctuary of your Imaginarium.
Because the scene you will witness on the other side of
the door will often be a metaphor, it may make absolutely
no sense to you. This does not matter. All you need to do
is vocalise what you are seeing. Open up your eyes, look
at your sitter, and simply explain what you saw. You can
preface this by saying something along the lines of: “I
don't know why but I am seeing....(and here explain what
you saw on the other side of the door). Does that mean
anything to you, or can you think why I might be seeing
this?”
I did a reading for someone, and decided to go through
the door at the end of my Imaginarium to see if I could
pick up on some information about them. When I opened
the door I could see them ice-skating on a frozen river. It
was a very Victorian-esque scene, with people dressed in
very smart clothes, and wearing big woolly hats and hand
muffs. I opened my eyes and said, “I don't know why, but
I'm seeing you ice-skating! It's on a frozen river. Why
would I be seeing you ice-skating?”
“My god!” they replied, visibly shocked. “When I was
ten years old I broke my leg ice-skating at the local rink!”
Now clearly I had no idea that this person had broken
her leg while ice-skating, and of course it could have been
(effectively) a lucky guess – after all, my ice-skating
vision had been full of grandeur and was very stylised,
whereas the reality of the local ice rink in which this lady
had broken her leg would probably have been very
different! However the prime ingredient was ice-skating
and I like to think that the Imaginarium had scored again!
Again, I recommend using the door at the end of the
library only for those occasions when you feel you want to
add something extra to the reading. You may use it every
time, but I feel that this would lessen its potency.
The final element in the library is the table upon which
are placed the six objects which remind us of the six rules.
They are there purely as a reminder, to ask you if you've
got the six rules in place and if you are remembering to
follow them. Please bear in mind that this table and the
contents upon it and there purely as a gentle reminder.
There is no need to go over to the table and check each
item on top of it in an analytical fashion. The fact that you
know the table is there, and that there are items upon it
will be enough.
The Imaginarium is such a potent tool that you may
decide that you no longer need the other tools of the
reader in order to provide highly powerful readings! Let
me repeat that: the Imaginarium is such a potent tool that
you may decide you don't need your cards, or the palm, or
the crystal ball in order to provide fantastic readings.
Think about it; once you are used to entering your
Imaginarium and gleaming the information there, you may
no longer need the standard tools of the reader. My
personal belief is that the Imaginarium works best in
tandem with another oracle (such as the tarot), but if you
are ever caught out without having your usual oracle to
hand, and you are in a situation where somebody is asking
you for a reading, you can be confident that by entering
your Imaginarium you can (and will) provide a wonderful
reading. And because you are not using a tool of any kind,
your sitter may regard the reading as all the more
miraculous because of it.
A nice technique to use is to hold the hands of the sitter
as you give them their reading. This will enable you to
make a stronger connection with them, although of course
only do this if both you and the sitter feel comfortable
doing so. You may only feel the need to hold hands for a
minute or two, and then let them fall free again. This is
often a preferable technique as opposed to steadfastly
holding the hands throughout the entire reading. You may
feel comfortable holding the hands throughout the reading,
but the sitter may be less sure. Put their feeling first, and
always let them have their hands back before they start to
feel uncomfortable or self-conscious.
If you are working purely with the Imaginarium, do not
be afraid to take more than one book off the shelves. Look
around the library, find the books, read the messages, and
pass them on. And of course you always have the door at
the end of the room to explore should you feel the need.
And of course, if your sitter ask you a specific question,
rather than blundering around trying to interpret the cards
or the palm in order to provide an answer, simply dip into
your Imaginarium, ask the question in your mind, and see
which book you are drawn to. The location of the book
(left or right, past or future) and the message within the
book will lead you to the required answer.
Additional ideas and tips:
Your Imaginarium is just that: yours. So although I
describe it as a library with bookshelves to the left and the
right, a table in the middle, and a door at the end, this
description is really just the basics. Feel free to make your
own Imaginarium as expansive as you wish. When
visiting your Imaginarium, explore a little. You may find
other doors leading to other rooms, and within these
rooms you may find new ways of obtaining information
for your sitters. There may be other doors that lead to the
outside of the library, and within the grounds of the library
you may find other ways in which metaphors are passed
on to you. Have fun and explore. Your Imaginarium is
limited only by (and excuse the pun) your imagination!
Your Imaginarium can also help you to seek answers
and insights into your own life. There will be books on the
shelves that relate to you. You may seek answers in this
library for yourself, and by doing so you will become
more experienced in entering and using the Imaginarium.
By all means do not be afraid to utilise the Imaginarium
for your own benefits. Indeed you are encouraged to do
exactly that.
And all that you need to do to leave the library is
merely open your eyes (or refocus them on your
surroundings) and take a nice breath. This is not a deep
meditative technique requiring rituals and mantras, but
simply a way to quickly and effectively access your
imagination. It is this simplicity that gives it its power.
When doing a reading, you will be able to enter your
Imaginarium without your sitter even being aware that you
are doing anything other than observing the cards (or
whatever) for a moment or two.
Tell me, what do you see?
A very useful tool to have in your armoury is the ability
to involve the sitter in a reading by asking their opinion.
This is deeper than simply asking, “Does that make sense
to you?” If providing a tarot card reading, you can show
the sitter a particular card and ask them, “What do you see
here?” And then encourage them to interpret the card and
explain how that interpretation may be associated with
their life. Explain that the images on tarot cards are often
regarded as metaphors, and ask them if they can see the
metaphor and how it applies to them. Another option with
tarot cards is to show the sitter the individual characters on
a card. Explain the characteristics of the individuals on a
particular card, and then ask them, “So who does that
remind you of in your life?” For example, I may push the
Queen of Swords towards the sitter and explain that the
Queen of Swords is often seen as a woman who can be a
little cold and aloof, but is also very determined to reach
her goals, and it is this determination that is sometimes
interpreted as coldness by those around her. Then I will
say to the sitter, “Does that remind you of anyone?” They
will invariably smile and tell you who it is. Sometimes it
is them, sometimes it is their mother, or their mother-in-
law, or their boss at work, or their best friend. It doesn't
matter. You are implying by this action that you knew all
along who it was, but were just seeing if the sitter herself
knew. Of course you had no idea, but that's not the point
and the sitter doesn't know that. With this small piece of
information (in this example who the Queen of Swords is,
but it could be any card), you are able to focus your
reading and give wonderful insights into your sitter's life.
A similar technique can be utilised for palm reading. If
there are lots of little lines coming off the heart line (for
example), you can explain what the heart line is and what
it means, and then say, “But look here. You see all these
small lines coming off from your heart line? What do you
imagine they mean?” If they merely reply, “Dunno,”
forget about it – they're clearly too unimaginative (or too
petrified by your presence!) to be of any help. Merely
continue with the reading. But if they give you a reply,
take that piece of knowledge and run with it. Perhaps they
will suggest that the small lines represent broken hearts,
ex-lovers, divorces, choices they had to make, hearts that
they themselves have broken, etc. With this knowledge,
readily given up by your sitter, you can go on to provide a
wonderful reading.
With a crystal ball, ask your sitter to look into the ball
and say what she can see. You get the idea.
In Performance...
I am often asked how cold reading can be introduced in
a magical or mind-reading performance, particularly in a
walk-around or intimate setting. The answer is: really
quite simply.
Obviously, cold reading works best when it is used
alongside some kind of mental magic. It is more difficult
to associate with classic magic such as linking rings,
ropes, etc. However for any kind of routine whereby the
performer has to know the unknowable, any kind of mind
reading effect, cold reading is a perfect bed-fellow.
Let us imagine a very simple scenario. Using a
preferred method (perhaps a force, stacked deck, or
marked deck), the performer must use his special talents to
divine a playing card that the spectator has 'secretly'
chosen. In the past (Magicians Guide to Palm Reading,
Reader of Minds) I have demonstrated how a palm reading
can be used to give the impression that this is how the
performer obtains the information – 'by looking at your
palm I can figure out what card you would likely be drawn
to'. The same formula can also be used by the tarot and the
crystal ball – the performer turns over a tarot card,
delivers a short reading, then ties the tarot card in with the
playing card chosen, or the performer merely gazes into
the crystal ball and divines the information from what he
sees in it. But the important thing is that the performer
first delivers a reading (it need only be a short 2 minutes
reading in an entertainment, strolling setting) before
revealing the chosen playing card. The reading is equally
as important as the actual final revelation of the card, and
should be seen as an integral part of the routine. The
reading should also be used as the 'fake explanation' as to
how the performer divined the information regarding the
card. “Thanks to all that I have seen, I believe that the card
you will have chosen is...”
The same principle (reading leading to revelation of
playing card) can of course be applied to a multitude of
other mind-reading routines such a billet switches, centre
tears, and impression pads. The reading is the method by
which the spectators believe you gained the knowledge,
but in many cases the reading will be as impressive (if not
more so) as the final reveal. By using a reading in this
manner, the routine is elevated from simply 'the clever
mind-reader read my mind' to 'he revealed things about me
that he could never have known!'
But now that you have been initiated in the ways of the
Imaginarium, rather than using palm reading or any other
method of divination, you can enter your own personal
library and gleam the information from there.
A quick example: The spectator has 'secretly' chosen a
card (let us say it is a 7 of Hearts). The performer holds
her hand, enters his Imaginarium (this all looks a bit weird
and freaky, especially if you close your eyes, which helps
to drama of proceedings), and then reveals the card. All
well and good. But we can take it even deeper. The
performer enters the library, and knowing that the
spectator has chosen the 7 of Hearts, he places that
information (perhaps in the shape of a playing card) onto
the table of reminders in the centre of the room. That way
he won't forget it. It will remain there for him as reminder
until he opens his eyes again. Then the performer allows
himself to be drawn to a book, he opens it up, reads the
message, and then leaves the Imaginarium and re-engages
the spectator. “It's funny,” says the performer, “but while I
was trying to gleam your playing card, I picked up on
something else as well. I seemed to pick up on the words:
It was Christmas and it was snowing and you were
looking out of the window waiting for your father to
return home. I have no idea what it means, but perhaps
you do?”
The above revelation comes from one of my own close-
up performances where I was using my own Imaginarium
as a tool while performing a simple card revelation
routine. The woman was quite taken aback and said that
she has a very strong memory of being a child and waiting
for her father to return home on a snowy Christmas Eve.
Then when I revealed her playing card as well, she was
really blown away. “It's funny the kind of information you
pick up on when you're playing around in people's
minds!” I said, and she (and her friend) were thoroughly
enthralled.
Now, listen, using the Imaginarium in this manner
means that sometimes your 'cold reading' element isn't
going to hit home 100%. This isn't as sure and as certain
as making a silk disappear with a thumb tip. Sometimes
the spectator may say, “No, that doesn't mean anything to
me.” But don't worry – that's fine. If I had said to a
spectator, “It's funny but while I was trying to gleam your
playing card, I picked up on something else as well. I
seemed to pick up on the words: It was Christmas and it
was snowing and you were looking out of the window
waiting for your father to return home. I have no idea
what it means, but perhaps you do?” and she had replied,
“No, sorry. It means nothing to me,” all I would have
needed to say is, “How strange! It is odd the kind of things
that I pick up on when I'm rummaging around in people's
minds! But anyway, please concentrate on your playing
card, and let me see if I can get it!” And I would be away,
successfully revealing the card, and the whole 'cold
'reading' element would have been forgotten.
But here's a funny thing: if I had mentioned the snowy
Christmas Eve scene to a spectator and she had rejected it,
if we were surrounded by three or four of her friends all
watching proceedings, I guarantee you that one of the
friends would have exclaimed, “Oh my god! That's me!”
And I would have said, “Ah! Now it makes sense! I'm
tuning in to you!”
Using your Imaginarium in this manner means that you
never have to fear being wrong, and it is a good way to
gain confidence in using your library with people. Initially
simply imagine yourself entering the library to get the
information, but say nothing about it to your spectators.
Just use it as your personal motivation. Then when you are
a little more confident, start to look around your library
and pick up pieces of information about the person in front
of you and perhaps start to mention these things to your
spectators (“It's funny but...”). Then when you are really
confident with using your Imaginarium, you can
experiment with using nothing but the library and dispense
with the 'trick' element altogether!
And why not take your spectator on the journey with
you? Imagine the situation. The spectator has 'secretly'
chosen the 7 of Hearts. You begin:
“Okay, so I'm going to let you in on a little secret.
There is a special technique that some mind-readers use,
and it enables us to perhaps read minds but also to pick up
on information about the people that we are lucky enough
to work with. I have a special library in my mind. It
sounds a little weird I know, but it's all done with the
power of my imagination. I have an imaginary library in
my mind that I can visit whenever I want, and in it is
stored all of the secrets that I need to know, such as the
name of your card. But I can sometimes pick up on other
information as well. Now this doesn't always work, but
shall we give it a try? Okay, so I'm just closing my eyes
and I'm imagining myself entering my library. On my left
and right and rows and rows of books. In the middle of the
floor is a grand table and on it are placed all manner of
objects, including, perhaps, your chosen playing card.
There's also a door at the end of the library, but I rarely go
through there. Okay, so I'm walking over to the table and
I'm searching for your card. I'm looking, I don't see it at
the moment. Um. Um. Oh, okay, here it is. Well, I'm not
sure, but the card that I've found on the table is the 7 of
Hearts. Would that makes sense to you?”
“Yes it would!” says the spectator.
“Oh, good. That's a good start! But let's see if we can
go a little deeper. Tell me, what's your name?”
“Maria.”
“Okay, Maria. I'm just looking for a book with your
name on it. I'm seeing if there's a special message for you
or some other kind of information for you stored in my
library.”
In the performer's mind he is genuinely seeing firstly if
he is being drawn to the left or right bookshelf (past or
present), and then he is looking for a book with Maria's
name on the spine. Once he has located the book, he
imagines himself opening it up, reads what is upon the
page, and announces it to Maria. Editorial discretion is
recommended if the message is anything slightly
worrying!
If the message makes sense to Maria, she will be totally
blown away. No matter what the message is, because the
original revelation of the playing card was correct, she
will be expecting the message to be correct too and will
work really hard to make it fit. Even if it doesn't make too
much sense, she will accept it after seeing how genuine
the performer has been with her and seeing his process of
entering his imaginary library to gleam the information.
Even if the message is rejected out of hand (a rare event),
the fact is that the performer still correctly revealed the
playing card and demonstrated the weird imaginary mind-
library technique that he uses to get such information! It
will always be an enthralling demonstration, and will be
perceived of as real magic, not trickery.
You will notice that the above demonstration of using
the Imaginarium in performance differs slightly from the
method by which I have traditionally used cold reading as
a 'false' method to divine information.
For instance, the classic palm reading to playing card
revelation works like this: performer reads palm and
delivers reading, from this information he reveals the
secret playing card.
In the above Imaginarium example, it worked like this:
performer enters Imaginarium, reveals playing card, and
then delivers reading/message.
There's no particular reason why I have chosen to swap
the order of things around with the Imaginarium example.
It just seems to work better for me. It is entirely possible
to enter the Imaginarium, deliver the reading (ask the
name, find the book, read out the message) and then
imagine yourself walking over to the table and reveal the
playing card. You may prefer that method – to have the
playing card revelation in reserve almost, as a guaranteed
kicker ending. The choice is yours. Play around with it,
see what sits best with you, and most importantly – enjoy
it. Once you start visiting the Imaginarium, you will find it
is a hugely useful place that may even aid you in your life
outside of magic and mentalism – and that would really be
magic!
With this kind of presentation I am often reminded of
my ex-wife! When collecting our children from school at
the end of the school day, the roads around the school are
always very busy with other parents collecting their
children. Parking is a nightmare. Because of this, when it
is my ex-wife's turn to collect the children she will park
her car quite a distance away from the school in order to
avoid the busy roads and the lack of parking. She parks
the car in a quiet road, knowing that she can easily get
parked, and then walks the rest of the distance to school.
On the other hand, me being me, I will always drive
directly past the school gates, weathering the bad traffic.
Why? Because I know that occasionally I will fall lucky
and a parking space will open up right outside the school
gates just as I'm driving by. It doesn't happen very often of
course, and usually I have to content myself with parking
almost as far away as my ex-wife. But on those occasions
when I do get to park outside the school it is like I have
won a memorable victory!
Most days the ex-wife and I park a similar distance
from the school. But on some days I get to park right
outside the school. How often do you think my ex-wife
gets to park directly outside the school? That's right.
Because she never tries, she never gets to park her car
directly outside the school.
Using your Imaginarium in close-up performance is a
lot more reliable than me getting to park outside school!
But the metaphor still stands. Try it, use it, because if you
don't you will never know.
A Final Word on the Third Way and
Performance...
The first half of this book was concerned with the rules
of the third way, and how they apply to cold reading. I
now want to quickly let you into yet another secret. Once
those rules are firmly embedded in your mind (and they'll
always be waiting for you on the table in the library
should you need reminding), try using them for your
performances too. Even performances where you won't be
using any cold reading whatsoever. Even if it's just
standing in front of someone and linking two rings
together (an honourable profession in and of itself), have
the six rules at the back of your mind – or even at the
forefront. Make your mind-set the same as if you were
delivering a reading instead of a more mainstream act, and
see how that inspires you to deliver a better and more
poignant performance.
The concept of Affinity can, and should, apply to all
aspects of the magical arts.
Enjoy. Be wise, be safe, and look after them.
The concept of
Affinity can, and
should, apply to
all aspects of the
magical arts.