Part 1, Aug 1, 2014. THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, BEHAVIORS.

Part 1, Aug 1, 2014

THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, BEHAVIORS

Our resolutions to fix our behaviors often fail

I am not a good ….

I am boring

MY BOSS IS CRAZY

I cannot trust menSHE IS RUDE

Fire is hot

Sad Angry LonelyFearSympathy

Blissful Excited ElatedNervous

MistakesTop performer

FIGHT

CARELOVE

HURRY AWAYIGNORE

MAKE A SCENEACT IMPORTANT

HUMBLE BEHAVIOR

I am not a good ….

I am boring

MY BOSS IS CRAZY

I cannot trust menSHE IS RUDE

Fire is hot

Sad Angry LonelyFearSympathy

Blissful Excited ElatedNervous

MistakesTop performer

FIGHT

CARELOVE

HURRY AWAYIGNORE

MAKE A SCENEACT IMPORTANT

HUMBLE BEHAVIOR

Thoughts/ Beliefs

Feelings

Behaviors/ Willing/Action

Thoughts create

Feelings

Feelings create

Behaviors

Behaviors create

Thoughts

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1gqsSwClkY&list=PLaZzKAnZWpCk6lN8fPoKgPoFPDMWNkqJC&index=1

Thoughts : State of Mind and Being- Your belief System, your Internal

Thermostat!

Event

A learned behavioral response that has become associated with a particular situation, esp one frequently repeated

SUPPRESSING FEELINGS CAN BE HARMFUL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4hMhxby3Dg&list=PLaZzKAnZWpCk6lN8fPoKgPoFPDMWNkqJC&index=2

SELF OBSERVATION AND DEEP FEELING EXERCISE

• Self Observation and Deep Feeling Exercise– Note the details in black in your observation

Thoughts/Rationale for your response

Feelings

Physical

Sensations

Event Trigger

ResultingBehavior(Habit)

(energy,tension, tightness, warmth, numbness

anger, anxiety, joy,

excitement

Observable as language (stories, interpretation,justification, etc.)

Reward!

FEELINGS HAVE INTELLIGENCEGifts we gain when we own our feelings

Current Thoughts without judgment

Adult Feelings Gifts we gain when we feel and own these feelings

My husband doesn’t spend time with me. I get angry with him. I do not like being lonely.

Lonely, alone Helps me to reach out to others- reach in to know myself

Joy, well being Helps me grow

I wish to connect with her but she doesn’t want to speak with me. Being rejected like that feels painful to me.

Pain Increases my ability to heal, face reality, regrow

Sadness Develop empathy- to care for myself and others

Anger(Adult) not rage Energizes my inner power , validates our right to be treated with respect and dignity

I feel really scared when I hear people screaming. I get really anxious about the future

Fear Strengthens self protection and boundaries. Makes me call out to Krsna

Love Extends my ability to give unconditional nurturing

Oh I feel awful, I made a mistake again.

Shame Humility, a sense of human ness, I can make mistakes

Current Thoughts without Judgment

Adult Emotion Gifts we gain when we feel and own these feelings

Exhilaration Positive Energy, power to persist until I succeed

Guilt Helps me set limits and have adult standards- gives me the energy and ability to make amends to others

I am happy that I was able to help them well.

Worthwhile Helps me grow my self esteem

Worthless Makes me more ready to grow and climb upwards

I am so confused right now. I cannot make sense of this situation. It is hard to remain in this confusion and not know what step to take

Confused Gives me the ability to understand other people’s confusion and the willingness to seek clarity for my own beliefs

Devastated Helps me connect with my deepest core pain and my wounded inner child and to learn how to nurture them safely in grown up ways

SELF ACCEPTANCE

How do you feel about yourself or others in the

situation?

Self –Acceptance is being and neutral and compassionate. I am tiny and imperfect, yet lovable. Krsna loves me unconditionally- I will make the change because I wish to reciprocate with His love

I did it because she triggered me. Its not

my fault

How could I do something so

stupid?

Hmm. That was not very nice of me to respond like that. I really hurt her. She

must have felt terrible

I lovingly accept myself with my imperfect parts. I don’t have to convince myself or others that I was perfect in

responding in the wrong way. I care for myself .

• Step 2:Self Acceptance– Don’t beat yourself up– Don’t cover for yourself– Be neutral and compassionate!!

• I am tiny, imperfect and lovable• I deeply care for myself, my relationship with Krishna

– Krsna is loving , He accepts us completely with all our faults– Compassionate to my own myself- accepting myself in that

situation then from the platform I can bring about some change.

– E.g. If we hurt someone but they still love us , then we are inspired to make a change so we do not hurt them again . E.g parents love their child anyway- so the child feels the impetus to change.

Am I comfortable with myself being imperfect? Can I tolerate

myself with my imperfect parts?

• Step 2:Self Acceptance• From Acceptance comes Transformation

Self Acceptance HumilityImpetus to Change

our belief system/thoughts

THE NEED FOR PRAYER AND SURRENDER

Activating the natural internal pause button

Bg 2.62 — While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them, and from such attachment lust develops, and from lust anger arises.

Bg 2.63 — From anger, complete delusion arises, and from delusion bewilderment of memory. When memory is bewildered, intelligence is lost, and when intelligence is lost one falls down again into the material pool.

• Step 4:Prayer• We feel humbled by our behavior.• We find this internal work very hard to do on our own• We cry out the Holy Names so Krsna protects us from

ourselves

Self Acceptance Humility Impetus to Change

Really cry out to Krsna for help

• Bg 2.64 — But a person free from all attachment and aversion and able to control his senses through regulative principles of freedom can obtain the complete mercy of the Lord.

• Bg 2.65 — For one thus satisfied [in Kṛṣṇa consciousness], the threefold miseries of material existence exist no longer; in such satisfied consciousness, one’s intelligence is soon well established.

• Bg 2.66 — One who is not connected with the Supreme [in Kṛṣṇa consciousness] can have neither transcendental intelligence nor a steady mind, without which there is no possibility of peace. And how can there be any happiness without peace?

Ananda Maya(Complete bliss)

Vijnana Maya(Transcendental Knowledge)

Mano Maya/Jnana Maya(Mind- mental speculation)

Prana Maya(Life Air)

Anna Maya(Food)

To know we are spirit soul servant of Krishna

We understand we are not the body, but the soul, we are separate from the thinking feeling and willing. But we do not know we are servant of

Krishna

Platform of the mind. Philosophical inquiry is a step above concerns for the pressing matters of life. The thoughtful person rises above the masses to the

stage called jnana-maya.

After this one lives in the consciousness of being alive. If one can continue his life

without being attacked or destroyed, one thinks himself happy.. Our thoughts focus

on work, family, friends, politics, entertainment, and so on

In the beginning of life, every living entity is food conscious. A child or an animal is satisfied only by getting nice food. This

stage of consciousness, in which the goal is to eat sumptuously, is called anna-maya

Thinking, Feeling and willing is limited to the body and its

effects. Thus we create different

bodies for enjoyment!

Thinking , Feeling and Willing is about pleasing Krsna and His

devotees

Material Pool

Spirit Soul is separate from thinking , feelingand willing that takes place at the Bodily Level

The 9 fold processes of

devotional service make our

thinking, feeling and willing

centered around Krsna!

THE INTERNAL PAUSE BUTTONhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sFjJipfqC0

CHANTING PLACES YOU IN YOUR REAL IDENTITY

Soul

Soul

Mind, Intelligence & False Ego

Soul

Mind, Intelligence & False Ego

Body

Soul

Mind, Intelligence & False Ego

Body

The False Identity

House

Job

Social Status

Appearance Mother

Daughter

Wife

Sister, Aunt, …

………..

……

………………….

Temporary and Entangling

Sense of Self bounces around like a ping pong ball

What is Real Pride?

STEP 5:PATIENCEEnthusiasm and Determination

utsāhān niścayād dhairyāttat-tat-karma-pravartanātsaṅga-tyāgāt sato vṛtteḥṣaḍbhir bhaktiḥ prasidhyatiThere are six principles favorable to the execution of pure devotional service: (1)

being enthusiastic, (2) endeavoring with confidence, (3) being patient, (4) acting according to regulative principles [such as śravaṇaṁ kīrtanaṁ viṣṇoḥ smaraṇam – hearing, chanting and remembering Kṛṣṇa], (5) abandoning the association of nondevotees, and (6) following in the footsteps of the previous ācāryas. These six principles undoubtedly assure the complete success of pure devotional service.

• We sometimes see previously hidden aspects of our own makeup, of our personality and character. – Often these aspects were hidden only from us and not from others. These

shocking new glimpses of ourselves, these realizations that we are not exactly who we thought we were, may bring disappointment.

• They arise naturally as a result of our inner work and present us with a choice.– We may wallow in self-pity and self-hatred and, thereby, short-circuit the

process of practice.

• Or we may simply accept that the good in us exists alongside the not-so-good, and practice with renewed vigor toward transformation. – Not necessarily seeking to change the details of our personality, but rather

seeking to change our being.

As we do this internal work……..

• The Holy Name and the processes of devotional service bring us to the Lotus Feet of Krsna. As a by product they remove all the causes of suffering and distress.

• The techniques discussed here can support our devotional practices and the chanting of the Holy Names.

Steps Review

Step 1

•Self Observation

Step 2

•Self Acceptance

Step 3

•Higher Reward (Practice and Detachment)

Step 4

•Prayer,Surrender & Vaishnava Seva

Step 5

•Patience

THANK YOUQuestions? Comments?