Parents style and outcomes

PARENTS STYLE AND OUTCOMESBY: HANNAH KANKAM

The way children are parented when they are young influences the type of people they become.

How? Why?

Definition of a parent: Identify parenting styles, including positive guidance

techniques that help children develop positive self-concepts, self-management, and responsibility.

List ways to foster a child’s self-concept. Express love and affection and listen to them. Help them feel safe. Provide order. Praise them. Avoid criticism by focusing on the behavior. Be consistent. Allow them to experience life for themselves.

OBJECTIVES

Being a parent is a major responsibility. You are in charge of raising an individual to the point of adulthood with the goal of turning him or her into a valuable member of the community. This undertaking requires care, love, understanding and the ability to keep the children on the right path. If done right, it is one of the hardest things you will do, but also, it will be one of the most rewarding.

“It’s terrific to be a mother; you’ll regret; your life will change” (pg. 311).

As stated in our textbook, becoming a parent is a personal decision one must take whether for religious reasons or personal choice. Yes becoming a parent and for most cases becoming a mother is such a big deal, but it is not a must.

Parents should not regret having a child because it was a decision they made not the child. The child should never feel she/he was a mistake.

It is a life changing experience because your whole world would revolve around your child. Your Childs needs and wants should and will always comes first. This experience should be a good life change.

DEFINITION OF A PARENT

VULNERABLE AND DEPENDENT

Most parent can be classified into three main types by the style in which they guide their children.

Authoritarian Permissive Democratic

IDENTIFY PARENTING STYLES

Definition: Limits without Freedom

Parents’ word is law, parents have absolute control.

Misconduct is punished Affection and praise are rarely

give Parents try to control children's’

behavior and attitudes They value unquestioned

obedience Children are told what to do,

how to do it, and where to do it, and when to do it.

AUTHORITARIAN

Obedient Distrustful Discontent Withdrawn Unhappy Hostile Not High Achievers Often Rebel

Children from authoritarian homes are so strictly controlled, either by punishment or guilt, that they are often prevented from making a conscious choice about particular behavior because they are overly concerned about what their parents will do.

No child should have to experience trap and fear from their parents.

OUTCOMES OF AUTHORITARIAN STYLE

Definition: Freedom without limits Parents allow their children to do

their own thing. Little respect for order and

routine. Parents make few demands on

children. Impatience is hidden. Discipline is lax Parents are resources rather than

standard makers Rarely punish Non controlling, non-demanding Usually warm Children walk all over the parents

PERMISSIVE

Aggressive Least self—reliant Least self-controlled Least exploratory Most unhappy

Children from permissive homes receive so little guidance that they often become uncertain and anxious about whether they are doing the right thing.

Without guidance, children will be completely lost in todays society.

They will have no sense of where they belong or their sense of being.

OUTCOME OF PERMISSIVE PARENTING

Definition: Teaching the child to be responsible Middle ground between the two. Stress freedom along with rights of others and responsibilities. Parents set limits and enforce rules. Willing to listen receptively to child’s requests and questions. Both loves and limits. Children contribute to discussion of issues and make some of their

own decisions. Exert firm control when necessary, but explain reasoning behind it. Respect children’s interest, opinions, unique personalities. Loving, consistent, demanding. Combine control with encouragement. Reasonable expectations and realistic standards.

DEMOCRATIC

Happy Mostly self-reliant Mostly self-controlled Content, friendly,

generous Cooperative High-achiever’ Less likely to be seriously

disruptive or delinquent

Children whose parents expect them to perform well, to fulfill commitments, and to participate actively in family duties, as well as family fun, learn how to formulate goals.

They also experience the satisfaction that comes from meeting responsibilities and achieving success.

OUTCOMES OF DEMOCRATIC STYLE

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Provide more successes than failures for the child. Give lots of encouragement Give them freedom to fail with acceptance. Allow independence Do not set standards unreasonably high. Avoid ridicule Eliminate the negative Give unconditional love. Be available Be a good role model. Give your children responsibility Take their ideas, emotions and feelings seriously. Allow exploration and encourage questions. Set Limits

WAYS TO FOSTER A CHILD'S SELF-ESTEEM.

Express love by a gentle cuddle, a little encouragement, appreciation, approval or even a smile will go a long way to boost their confidence and their well-being of your children.

Sadly, many children will seek this kind of acceptance from their peers. which increase the chances of trying or practice new behavior that is not appropriate.

Tell them you love them everyday by giving them a lots of hugs and kisses. Love them unconditionally; don't force them to be who you think they

should be in order to earn your love. Let them know that you will always love them no matter what.

Express interest in your them and involve yourself in his and her life. Create an atmosphere in which they can come to you with a problem

however large or small. If they cannot confront their parents they may turn to the wrong person for comfort.

EXPRESS LOVE AND AFFECTION AND LISTEN TO

THEM

Respect their privacy as you would want them to respect yours. Allow them to feel that once they enter their room they can know that no one will look through their drawers, or read their diary.

Instill in them, a sense of belonging by displaying individual and family portraits on the walls of the house.

Parents should not argue in front of their children. Modern divorce rates have children feeling insecure and fearful when they hear parents bickering. In addition, children will learn to argue with each other the same way they hear their parents argue with each other. Show them that when people disagree, they can discuss their differences peacefully.

Avoid favoritism. Surveys have shown that most parents have favorites, but most children believe they are the favorite. If your children are quarreling, don't choose sides.

Parents should up their vices: gambling, alcohol and drugs can jeopardize a child's financial security. Smoking almost always introduces health hazards to the child's environment. Second-hand smoke has been linked to several respiratory ailments in children. It could also contribute to the early death of a parent. Alcohol and drugs might also introduce health hazards or violence to a child's environment.

There have to be a lot if sacrifices does once parents decide to have a child.

HELP THEM FEEL SAFE

Parents must set boundaries such as bedtimes and curfews, so they learn that they have limitations.

Encourage responsibility by assigning job like chores, to do and as a reward for those jobs parents should give their children some kind of privilege (money, extended curfew, extra play time, etc.).

Teach them what is right and wrong. Don't be hypocritical or be prepared for your child to point out that you are not practicing what you preach.

Explain that they will have to wait until they are old enough to enjoy a drink with friends and talk about the importance of designated drivers.

Failure to discuss these issues early sometimes contributes to sneaking and dangerous experimentation.

PROVIDE ORDER

Avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings. Each child is individual and unique. Celebrate their differences and instill in each child the desire to pursue their interests and dreams. Failure to do so may give your child an inferiority complex, an idea that they can never be good enough in your eyes.

Teach your children that it is okay for them to be different and they do not have to follow the crowd. Teach them right from wrong when then are young, and they will (more often than not) be able to make their own decisions, instead of listening to others.

Remember that your child is not an extension of yourself. Your child is an individual under your care, not a chance for you to relive your life through them.

PRAISE THEM

When your child acts out in a harmful and spiteful manner, tell him or her that such behavior is unacceptable and suggest alternatives.

Be assertive yet kind when pointing out what they have done wrong. Be stern, but not cross, when you tell them what you expect.

Avoid public humiliation. If they misbehave in public, take them aside, and scold them privately.

Model the behavior and character you hope your children will adopt and live by the rules you set. Show them by example in addition to verbal explanations. Children have a tendency to become what they see and hear unless they make a conscious and concerted effort to break the mold.

AVOID CRITICISM BY FOCUSING ON THE

BEHAVIOR

Enforce rules that apply to every person leading a happy and productive life. Not just the rules of your ideal person.

Enforce the same rules all the time, and resist your child's attempts to manipulate you into making exceptions.

Parents should control their temper.

Communicate clearly. Children should be very familiar with the consequences of their actions. If you give them a punishment, be sure they understand the reason and the fault.

BE CONSISTENT

Parents should not make decisions for their children all the time, they must learn how to live with the consequences from the choices they make.

They need to learn that their own actions have consequences (good and bad). By doing so, it helps them to become good decision makers and problem solvers so that they are prepared for independence and adulthood.

Parents must explain their options, and the consequences of each one, then live with whatever option the child select.

ALLOW THEM TO EXPERIENCE LIFE FOR THEMSELVES.

One of the most important things to remember as a parent is to be yourself. You can only use those methods with which you feel comfortable. A child can spot a fake a mile away. Children know if you mean what you say or if it is just another threat.

Select the methods that you believe in, that you feel comfortable with, and then be consistent.

No parents are perfect. Its matter of learning, understanding and putting it into practice to be a good parent.

SUMMARY

Woodcox, Kelly. "Are You An Authoritarian, Permissive, or Democratic Parent?, Page 2 of 2." Associated Content from Yahoo! - Associatedcontent.com. Web. 28 Feb. 2011. <http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1993478/are_you_an_authoritarian_permissive_pg2.html?cat=25>.

"In a Crisis, Parents Must Be There, Be Aware for Their Children | Parenting.org." Parenting.org | Valuable Resources, Articles and Stories Offering Parenting Help in Today’s World. Web. 28 Feb. 2011. <http://www.parenting.org/article/crisis-parents-must-be-there-be-aware-their-children>.

Dooley,, Keith. "What Does It Mean to Be a Parent? | EHow.com." EHow | How To Do Just About Everything! | How To Videos & Articles. Web. 28 Feb. 2011. <http://www.ehow.com/way_5417805_mean-parent.html>.

Our Bodies, Ourselves A New Edition for a New Era. Touchstone, 2009. Print.

WORK CITED