Parenting Styles

4 Different Parenting Styles and their Effects on Children

Dimensions of ParentingParental warmth –

The degree to which parents are accepting, responsive, and compassionate with their children.

Parental control – The degree to which parents set limits, enforce rules, and maintain discipline with children.

Four styles of parenting (Baumrind, 1973, 1991; Maccoby & Martin, 1983)

Authoritarian parents – Exert firm control but are rejecting or unresponsive to their children.

Warmth: LowControl: High

1st Parenting Style:AUTHORITARIAN

Parent:Expect children to follow strict rules

Does not explain why rules should be obeyed

Punish children who disobey rules

Are controlling/power-oriented

Use verbal threats or spanking

1st Parenting Style:AUTHORITARIAN

Effects of Parenting Style on Child:Obedient

Proficient (good at what they do)

may view parent as enemy

May be confused about what is right/wrong

Have levels happiness & self-esteem compared to children who do not have authoritarian parents

Authoritarian Style: Limits without Freedom.

Parents’ word is law, parents have absolute control.

Misconduct is punishedAffection and praise are rarely giveParents try to control children's’ behavior

and attitudesThey value unquestioned obedienceChildren are told what to do, how to do it,

and where to do it, and when to do it.

Outcomes of Authoritarian StyleBlindly

ObedientDistrustfulWithdrawnUnhappyHostileNot High

AchieversPassive

Children from authoritarian homes are so strictly controlled that they are often prevented from making their own decisions

Four styles of parenting (Baumrind, 1973, 1991; Maccoby & Martin, 1983)

Permissive parents – Warm but have little control over their children.

Warmth: HighControl: Low

2nd Parenting Style:PERMISSIVE

Parent:Has no firm rules, lenient

Accepts child as he/she is

Disciplines through love, praise and affection

Child can do no wrong

Communicates and nurtures child

Acts more like a friend than parent

2nd Parenting Style:PERMISSIVE

Effects of Parenting Style on Child:Dependent

Irresponsible / lack self-control

Immature

Experiences problems with authority

Experiences problems in school (i.e. completing projects)

Permissive Style: Freedom without limits

Parents allow their children to do their own thing.

Little respect for order and routine.Parents make few demands on children.

Discipline is lax: rarely punishNon controlling, non-demandingUsually warm, indulgentChildren walk all over the parents

Outcome of Permissive ParentingAggressiveLeast self-reliant

Least self-controlled

Least exploratory

Most unhappy

Children from permissive homes often get used to having what they want, but without guidance; they can be spoiled, aimless, anxious, insecure, rebellious

Four styles of parenting (Baumrind, 1973, 1991; Maccoby & Martin, 1983)

Rejecting/neglecting parents – Don’t set limits and are unresponsive to their children’s needs.

Warmth: LowControl: Low

3rd Parenting Style:UNINVOLVED

Parent:Makes few demands

Low responsiveness to child

Detached from child, but fulfills his/her basic needs

In extreme cases parents REJECT or NEGLECT needs of child

3rd Parenting Style:UNINVOLVED

Effects of Parenting Style on Child:Feel neglected / abandoned, have self-

esteem

Lack self-control

OutcomesChildren raised by rejecting/neglecting

parents fare the worst of all.Compared to other children, they show

higher rates of delinquency, alcohol and drug use, and early sexual activities.

They perform more poorly in school and show other disruptions in peer relations and cognitive development (Park & Buriel, 1998).

Four styles of parenting (Baumrind, 1973, 1991; Maccoby & Martin, 1983)

Authoritative parents – Are warm and exert firm control.

Warmth: HighControl: High

4th Parenting Style:DEMOCRATIC or Authoritative

Parent:Responsive

Supportive of child’s decisions

Guides and shows by example

Willing to discuss choices they or their child makes and the reasoning behind these choices

Disciplinary methods are nurturing & forgiving ≠ punitive

Want child to be socially responsible, self-regulated, cooperative

4th Parenting Style:DEMOCRATIC or Authoritative

Effects of Parenting Style on Child:Good decision makers

Independent, but seek help when needed

Happy

Capable

Successful

Democratic (Authoritative): Freedom within limits

Middle ground Parents set reasonable limits and enforce

rulesWilling to listen receptively to child’s

requests interests, and questions.Children contribute to discussion of issues

and make some of their own decisionsExert firm control when necessary, but

explain reasoning behind it.Loving, consistent, demandingCombine control with encouragement

Outcomes of Democratic StyleHappyMostly self-

reliantFriendly,

generousCooperativeHigh-achiever’Less likely to

be disruptive or delinquent

Children whose parents expect them to perform well, to fulfill commitments, and to participate actively in family duties, experience the satisfaction that comes from meeting responsibilities and achieving success.

Parental ControlPsychological control – Attempts at control that

affect a child’s psychological and emotional development (Barber, 1996). Includes inducting guilt, withdrawing love, or shaming.

Behavioral control – “The claims parents make on children to become integrated into the family whole, by their maturity demands, supervision, disciplinary efforts and willingness to confront the child who disobeys" (Baumrind, 1991, pp. 61-62).

(Darling, 1996)

Ways that parents can build a child's self-esteem:Provide more successes than failures for the child. Give them

freedom to fail with acceptance.

Give lots of encouragement.

Give unconditional love.

Allow independence.

Eliminate the negative.

Do not set standards unreasonably high.

Avoid ridicule.

Ways that parents can build a child's self-esteem:

Be available.

Give your children responsibility

Be a good role model.

Take their ideas, emotions and feelings seriously.

Help your child develop talents

Set Limits Allow exploration and encourage questions.

Discipline: Spare the Rod and Spare the Child?

Discipline – Techniques used to teach children appropriate behavior.

Punishment – Techniques used to eliminate or reduce undesirable behavior.

Often overemphasize punishment when disciplining children.

84% of American adults state that “it is sometimes necessary to discipline a child with a good hard spanking” (Lehman, 1989; Straus, 1994).

Discipline: Spare the Rod and Spare the Child?

In the short run, spanking seems to work; however, in the long run, spanking is not effective (Holden, 2002)

Models violent behaviorCreates fear of parentsFocuses on what not to do; does not teach

what to do.

Discipline: Spare the Rod and Spare the Child?

Children who are spanked are: more physically violent and aggressive; twice as likely to attack their siblings; more likely to steal property, commit assaults,

and commit other delinquent acts; and have lower moral standards and lower self-

esteem (Straus, 1994; Straus, Sugarman, & Giles-Sims, 1997).

Outcomes are related to frequency, severity of spankings. All findings are correlational.

Appropriate DisciplineRemember

Discipline refers to techniques used to teach children appropriate behaviors; rather than punish.

No technique works all the time and right away.

Appropriate DisciplineRecommendations

Manage the situationSet clear rules and limitsPraise good behaviorUse explanation and reasoningIf you must punish, try removing privileges or using

timeouts (a disciplinary technique that involves removing the child from the situation and anything that is encouraging the misbehavior to continue, placing the child in a safe and quiet environment).

Mothers and Fathers: Cooperating through Thick and Thin?

Raising children puts a great strain on most marriages.

Vast majority of couples report a significant decline in marital satisfaction in the first year after the births of their first babies.

Most parents work outside the home.When children are born, couples tend to move

toward more traditional gender roles.Mothers spent 23 hours per week alone with

children, whereas fathers spent only 2 hours (Russell & Russell, 1987).

Mothers and Fathers: Cooperating through Thick and Thin?

Types of time spent with mothers and fathers is different.Fathers’ play tends to be more physical and

rough-and-tumble, while mothers’ play tends to be more toy-oriented and verbal (Park, 1996; Russell & Russell, 1987).

Cultural differences.

QuestionsWhich parenting style is the most effective?

Democratic ✔Uninvolved ✗Permissive ≈Authoritarian ≈

What if parents do not share the same parenting style?Need to have complementary parenting styles

Authoritarian + Permissive