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PA R E N T I N G PA R T N E R S : P R A C T I C A L TO O L S F O R P O S I T I V E PA R E N T I N G
What gets in the way of parents entirely using our words in a positive way?
Examples: • Family system - old habits that lead us to say things we don’t even
believe, such as sarcastic barbs. • Lashing out in frustration. • Talking to my kids the way I talk to my friends. • Trying to make our children tough so they can handle peer pressure.
Positive Restatement: How would you rephrase these sayings to be more positive and effective? • You’re not going out in that outfit, are you?
Example of Positive Restatement: “I think that outfit looks great on you, but I don’t want you to wear it to the game.” (Saying what you mean directly.)
• Don’t you think you could try a little harder next time? Example of Positive Restatement: “I think you’re good in math. I would like to see you do 15 minutes of math study every day, because I think you can get an A.”
• You’re looking awfully skinny. Example of Positive Restatement: “I feel worried that you’re not taking time to eat right these days. Let’s make an agreement to eat dinner together every night.”
Recognizing and Affirming Strengths:Creating a Vision for College
Examples of strengths include:• Coaching–helping others learn• Bringing diverse people together• Conflict resolution• Learning technical procedures• Inventing• Good hearted–connecting with
people that others ignore• Organizational skills• Speaking talents
C H A P T E R T W O : C R E AT I N G C O N F I D E N T K I D S
2.8
Positive Identity: Elements of Self-Esteem
Nine Elements of Self-Esteem
1 Belonging
2 Purpose
3 Security
4 Empowerment
5 Confidence
6 Competence
7 Resiliency
8 Leadership
9 Respect
It’s really exciting to guide our children in acquiring the valuable treasures of positive self-esteem. At the same time, we also instill values that steer our children in using these treasures to make positive contributions to society.
Discoveringthe Treasures
of Self-Esteem!
PA R E N T I N G PA R T N E R S : P R A C T I C A L TO O L S F O R P O S I T I V E PA R E N T I N G