Parental Parental Discipline: Discipline: Sorting out the Sorting out the Mixed Messages Mixed Messages Bob Larzelere Bob Larzelere Human Devel. & Family Science Human Devel. & Family Science Oklahoma State University Oklahoma State University December 1, 2009 December 1, 2009
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Parental Discipline: Sorting out the Mixed Messages Bob Larzelere Human Devel. & Family Science Oklahoma State University December 1, 2009.
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Bob LarzelereBob LarzelereHuman Devel. & Family Human Devel. & Family
ScienceScienceOklahoma State UniversityOklahoma State University
December 1, 2009December 1, 2009
OutlineOutline
Historical Pendulum SwingHistorical Pendulum Swing Developmental vs. Behavioral ViewsDevelopmental vs. Behavioral Views Putting views togetherPutting views together Effective vs. Detrimental Effective vs. Detrimental
Disciplinary Enforcements Disciplinary Enforcements Implications for Parent EducatorsImplications for Parent Educators
Watson (’28) Maternal love is Watson (’28) Maternal love is dangerous.dangerous. No hugs or kisses or sitting in your lapNo hugs or kisses or sitting in your lap Rapid self-care: toilet training begins at 3-5 Rapid self-care: toilet training begins at 3-5
weeks, strap to toilet at 8 months.weeks, strap to toilet at 8 months. Spock (’46-) Restored balance of love Spock (’46-) Restored balance of love
and limitsand limits ““Trust yourself” – first words to parentsTrust yourself” – first words to parents Moderate strictness or Moderate strictness or
permissiveness OK for loving permissiveness OK for loving parents – extremes are detrimentalparents – extremes are detrimental
McKinney (’93)McKinney (’93) Trust experts, not yourself or your Trust experts, not yourself or your
parentsparents Permissiveness, maybe with mild Permissiveness, maybe with mild
consequencesconsequences What pendulum point is optimal?What pendulum point is optimal?
Child Developmental vs. Child Developmental vs. Behavioral Tx (vs. Behavioral Tx (vs.
Traditional)Traditional) Complementary (Child Dev. vs. Beh Tx)Complementary (Child Dev. vs. Beh Tx)
Children studiedChildren studied FoundationsFoundations GoalsGoals Proactive disciplineProactive discipline
Contradictory disciplinary responsesContradictory disciplinary responses Reasoning Reasoning Child Devel. Child Devel. Time out Time out Behav. Parent Training Behav. Parent Training Spanking Spanking Traditional Traditional
Child Developmental Child Developmental ViewView
Children studiedChildren studied NonclinicalNonclinical FoundationsFoundations Attachment, sensitivityAttachment, sensitivity GoalsGoals Moral internalizationMoral internalization Proactive stepsProactive steps Modeling, Modeling,
Response tacticsResponse tactics Time out, Time out, privilege privilege removal, little reasoningremoval, little reasoning
Parenting Programs Parenting Programs Often Focus on One or Often Focus on One or
the Otherthe Other Good communication is keyGood communication is key
Parent Effectiveness Training – GordonParent Effectiveness Training – Gordon Consistent consequences are the keyConsistent consequences are the key
1-2-3 Magic -- Phelan 1-2-3 Magic -- Phelan
Putting Pieces TogetherPutting Pieces Together
Key #1: Authoritative Parenting: Key #1: Authoritative Parenting: Love & limits Love & limits Reasoning & consequencesReasoning & consequences
Key #2: Sequence of disciplinary tacticsKey #2: Sequence of disciplinary tactics Matching tactic to misbehaviorMatching tactic to misbehavior Matching tactic to underlying motivationMatching tactic to underlying motivation More forceful tactics should More forceful tactics should enhance enhance milder milder
tacticstactics Mildest tactic that is effective for situationMildest tactic that is effective for situation
Key #1: Authoritative Key #1: Authoritative Parenting: Love and Parenting: Love and
LimitsLimits Combines both perspectivesCombines both perspectives Love & firm controlLove & firm control Reasoning & negative consequencesReasoning & negative consequences Consistently optimal outcomesConsistently optimal outcomes
Eight Parenting StylesEight Parenting StylesHigh Control
Low Control
HighWarmth
LowWarmth
AuthoritativeAuthoritarian
Permissive
Rejecting
Directive
Neglecting
DemocraticGood
Enough
Outcomes of Outcomes of Authoritative ParentingAuthoritative Parenting
Does authoritative parenting have Does authoritative parenting have long-term beneficial outcomes? long-term beneficial outcomes?
Short answer: Yes, esp. vs. extremesShort answer: Yes, esp. vs. extremes Much better outcomes than Much better outcomes than
authoritariansauthoritarians Better outcomes than permissiveBetter outcomes than permissive Similar outcomes to parenting styles Similar outcomes to parenting styles
that are not low on either warmth or that are not low on either warmth or controlcontrol
Competency Outcomes Competency Outcomes (at Age 14, 10 years (at Age 14, 10 years
Sequencing as one key to Sequencing as one key to putting pieces togetherputting pieces together
Goals: from Child Developmental ViewGoals: from Child Developmental View Child behavior to stay in tolerable rangeChild behavior to stay in tolerable range Rely on verbal correction (e.g., reasoning) as Rely on verbal correction (e.g., reasoning) as
much as possible (if effective)much as possible (if effective) Authoritative parents: verbal persuasion, give-and-Authoritative parents: verbal persuasion, give-and-
taketake
Methods: from Behav Parent Training viewMethods: from Behav Parent Training view Nonphysical conseq’s necessary when reasoning Nonphysical conseq’s necessary when reasoning
is ineffective (esp. when children are defiant)is ineffective (esp. when children are defiant) Can enforce reasoning in 2- and 3-year-oldsCan enforce reasoning in 2- and 3-year-olds
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75
80
85
90
95
34 Months 54 Months
Age
Mis
beh
avio
rMisbehavior Trends for High Use of Misbehavior Trends for High Use of
Source: Larzelere et al. (1998). J Marr Fam, 60, 388-403.
Sequencing as keySequencing as key
Shows only beneficial use of spankingShows only beneficial use of spanking To back-up time outTo back-up time out When 2- to 6-year-olds are defiantWhen 2- to 6-year-olds are defiant Only one back-up equally effectiveOnly one back-up equally effective
More forceful tactics enforce More forceful tactics enforce cooperation with milder tacticscooperation with milder tactics Forceful back-up tactics can then be Forceful back-up tactics can then be
droppeddropped
Foundations for Effective Foundations for Effective Firm ControlFirm Control
Skills at #1 & #2 help with #3 in two Skills at #1 & #2 help with #3 in two ways:ways: a. Less misbehaviora. Less misbehavior b. Child more responsive to corrective b. Child more responsive to corrective
disciplinediscipline
Foundations for Effective Foundations for Effective Firm ControlFirm Control
Positive reinforcementPositive reinforcement Clear expectations and Clear expectations and
Age-appropriate maturity demandsAge-appropriate maturity demands Regular structure and routineRegular structure and routine Age-appropriate choresAge-appropriate chores
Confront misbehavior directly but calmlyConfront misbehavior directly but calmly Prefer verbal correction & brief reasoningPrefer verbal correction & brief reasoning Enforce verbal discipline with mild Enforce verbal discipline with mild
consequences (time out, privilege removal)consequences (time out, privilege removal) Spank only for defiance to milder tacticsSpank only for defiance to milder tactics
2- to 6-year-olds2- to 6-year-olds
Last-Resort Back-Ups for Last-Resort Back-Ups for DefianceDefiance
Back-up spankingBack-up spanking 2 open-hand swats to bottom for defiant 2 open-hand swats to bottom for defiant
responses to nonphysical punishment (> 10 of responses to nonphysical punishment (> 10 of 13 alternatives, mostly based on 2- to 6-year-13 alternatives, mostly based on 2- to 6-year-olds)olds)
Note: supports cooperation with milder tacticsNote: supports cooperation with milder tactics Brief forced room isolation: Brief forced room isolation:
Only alternative equally effective for defiant 2- Only alternative equally effective for defiant 2- to 6-year-olds in 2+ studies (back-up for time to 6-year-olds in 2+ studies (back-up for time out)out)
Chaffin: best treatment for abusive parents Chaffin: best treatment for abusive parents uses latter back-up for time out (in PCIT)uses latter back-up for time out (in PCIT)
autonomyautonomy Arbitrary, inconsistent controlArbitrary, inconsistent control Severe physical punishmentSevere physical punishment Reasoning without enforcementReasoning without enforcement
Authoritative parenting and Authoritative parenting and approximations are optimalapproximations are optimal Authoritarian & permissive extremes Authoritarian & permissive extremes
detrimentaldetrimental Balance reasoning and negative Balance reasoning and negative
consequencesconsequences Either without the other is detrimentalEither without the other is detrimental
Expand parental optionsExpand parental options Make milder discipline more effectiveMake milder discipline more effective Strategy to phase out last-resort tacticsStrategy to phase out last-resort tactics
Sequential Ordering of Sequential Ordering of Disciplinary ResponsesDisciplinary Responses
11st --st -- Mild verbal tactics Mild verbal tactics Be responsive to children & their viewpointBe responsive to children & their viewpoint
22nd --nd -- Mild disciplinary actions Mild disciplinary actions Diversion/redirecting vs. nonphysical Diversion/redirecting vs. nonphysical
consequences?consequences? Single warning for (nonphysical) punishmentSingle warning for (nonphysical) punishment Out-persist, don’t out-escalate the childOut-persist, don’t out-escalate the child
33rd --rd -- Last resort tactics Last resort tactics Only for defiant responses to milder tacticsOnly for defiant responses to milder tactics
Higher levels enforce lower levels, to Higher levels enforce lower levels, to phase out higher levelsphase out higher levels
Concluding ThoughtsConcluding Thoughts
Love AND LimitsLove AND Limits Mild AND EffectiveMild AND Effective Power assertion should support, not Power assertion should support, not
undermine positive parenting undermine positive parenting Fit of your parent education Fit of your parent education
emphases within overall model?emphases within overall model?