P2 Writing Workshop - Westwood Primary School · P2 Writing Workshop 6 February 2015 6.00 – 7.30 p.m. ... Composition Writing Term 1 Week 3 A Bubble Blowing Adventure . A Bubble

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P2 Writing Workshop

6 February 2015

6.00 – 7.30 p.m.

• What are some issues you face when getting your child/ward to write?

• What do you want to gain from the Writing Workshop?

FAQs Addressing your needs & concerns

• Does not know where to start

• Construction of proper sentences

• Express or describe in more details

• Linkage of story in paragraphs

• To be more creative in their writing

FAQs Key needs & concerns

• Use the 5W an 1H to guide you!

The Fundamental (1) Sentence Building

• Use the 5W an 1H to guide you!

• I have a pen.

• I have a new blue pen.

• I have a new blue pen that I bought from the

bookshop yesterday.

The Fundamental (1) Sentence Building (classroom example)

What Who

Adjectives Who

What Who Adjectives How

Where When

What

• Use the 5W an 1H to guide you! • I was angry.

• I was angry at my sister.

• I was angry at my sister because she snatched my book while I was reading at home last night.

The Fundamental (1) Sentence Building (classroom example)

How Who

Who

Who Who Why

Where When

How Who

How

• Use as many adjectives and descriptive words as you can.

– I have a pen

– I have a green pen.

– I have a new green pen.

– I have a new green erasable pen.

– I have a new green erasable pen that I use for corrections.

The Fundamental (2) Using Adjectives

• Use relevant adjectives and descriptive words: – Feelings

• The pupils were excited to see Fandi Ahmad in school.

– Size • The petite teacher needed help to carry the big box.

– Shape • The square peg could not fit into the round hole.

– Characteristics (Properties) • The teacher needed help to carry the big heavy box

– Colours • The man wearing the striped shirt drove off in a blue car.

– Taste • The dish was delicious.

The Fundamental (2) Using Adjectives – Using Your Senses

• Using the 5Ws & 1H and as many relevant adjectives and descriptive words as you can, extend the sentence below with more details.

– I have a car.

Hands-on (1) Sentence Building

• Happy, happy, happy till teacher marking NOT happy

• Angry, angry, angry till teacher marking really gets angry

The Fundamental (3) Using adjectives that are NOT common

• Then, then, then, then, then … the whole story (e.g. of Making a Healthy Salad)

• Vary the connectors used – First, Secondly

– After that,

– Next,

– Following that,

– Time indicators – At midnight, In the morning,

• Starting sentences with And, Because……. not encouraged

The Fundamental (4) Connectors

• List alternatives to the common adjectives expressing feelings:

• Group Sharing

Hands-on 2 Using adjectives that are NOT common

Happy Angry Hungry Beautiful Afraid

Delighted furious starving pretty nightmare

Excited mad famished awesome fear

Beaming unhappy craving nice spooky

Glad agitated greedy stunning timid

amused crossed empty classy doubtful

joy annoyed peckished attractive anxious

elated irritated charming frozen

frustrated Gorgeous, lovely

Trembling with fear

• Write a short paragraph to describe your day today using different connectors and adjectives

• Group Sharing

Hands-on 3 Using different connectors and adjectives

I woke up at six in the morning. After taking a bath and having breakfast, I rushed off to work to avoid the morning rush hour traffic. When I reached my office, I had a meeting. Next, I had to type an urgent report for my boss and then, I was off to lunch. Following lunch, I was very sleepy and managed to catch a nap for about half an hour. In the afternoon, I had to deal with so much work that I lost track of time. When the clock struck five, I was dumbfounded and realised that I had to rush to Westwood Primary. Finally, I reached the school just in time to attend this workshop!

wonderful and interesting

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The Writing Process

Providing the language experience Carrying out the relevant activity – Learning Journey, activity in school, reading a story

Brainstorming ideas as a class - recounting

Class writing eliciting sentences from pupils

Group discussion

Group Writing

Individual Writing

The Language Experience Process - MLEA Providing the Scaffolding

The Writing Process

CONCLUSION

Edit Publish

DEVELOPMENT - BODY

Write Revise

INTRODUCTION

Brainstorm Plan

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Composition Writing Term 1 Week 3

A Bubble Blowing Adventure

A Bubble Blowing Adventure

Helping words/ phrases

bubble wand excited terrified scold

quarrel burst pulling apologised

To enhance any writing piece, we will brainstorm on a related topic before beginning to write…

Topic

• Write about how you felt when you first blew bubbles

• Use as many adjectives and descriptive words as you can.

BRAINSTORMING Writing Stimulus

• Use the 5W an 1H to guide you to plan your content for each picture:

• Introduction – Character & setting

• Body – Problem & Solution

• Conclusion – what happened in the end, how you or the characters felt…

PLAN

Picture 1 Who: _________________________

When: _________________________

Where:

__________________________

What:

__________________________

It was a bright and cheery day. The leaves on the

trees were rustling in the afternoon breeze. Mary and

Sarah were at the park blowing bubbles. There were four

boys playing at the playground.

Picture 1

I was cleaning my room when

my eyes fell on the broken bubble

wand. Memories of that horrible day

flooded my mind as I recalled what

happened.

“Peiling! Peiling! Let’s go down to the newly built

playground to play on the swings,” shouted Xinyi.

Picture 2 What had happened?

________________________________

________________________________

What were the children doing?

________________________________

________________________________

When the boys saw the bubbles, they were very

excited. The bubbles were like hundreds of little footballs

floating magically in the air. The boys were jumping up and

down trying to catch the bubbles.

The boy in striped shirt asked Mary, “Can I borrow

your bubble wand, please?”

While Peiling and Xinyi were

playing excitedly, John and his gang

came to mock at them. They teased

the girls that blowing bubbles was

extremely childish! Peiling and Xinyi

chose to ignore them. John was so

frustrated that he started to burst the

bubbles. The rest of the boys except

Tim saw the fun in bursting the

bubbles and they started to join John.

Tim politely asked to borrow the wand

from Peiling.

Soon the

bubbles attracted a

group of rowdy boys

who were playing in

the playground.

They came over and

started bursting the

bubbles . . .

Picture 2

Picture 3 Who:

_____________________

Why:

________________________

Feelings of the character:

_________________________

Mary agreed to lend him the bubble wand. When he

was about to blow, suddenly, another boy snatched the

bubble wand! All the boys started to quarrel and fight over

the bubble wand. When they were pulling the bubble

wand, the wand broke! Mary and Sarah were terrified and

burst into tears.

Picture 3

John quickly snatched the

wand from Tim and scolded him

for betraying the boys! They

started pulling and pushing each

othe and a fight broke out! The

girls were so terrified that they

burst into tears. Then to my horror,

the group of rowdy boys

snatching the bubble

wand. The wand broke

into two! I burst into

tears. Soon, a man

appeared.

Picture 4 What happened in the end?

_________________________

How did the children feel?

_________________________

Mary’s father heard them crying. He ran over

and scolded the boys furiously. The boys felt sorry and

apologised to the girls and each other. They promised

to buy Mary a new bubble wand!

Picture 4 The man reprimanded

the boys. They were

remorseful. They apologised to

my sister and I. We forgave

them as our father always

reminded us that forgiveness is

very important.

Back in my room, I

smiled to myself. I wiped the

dust off the wand gently. It was

a memorable incident indeed

Uncle Raymond,

who was a retired police

officer, saw the whole

scenario and came to

reprimand the boys. He

warned the boys not to fight

again! The boys felt guilty

and they apologised to one

another as well as to the

girls

WRITE / REVISE Success Criteria

Success Criteria: 1 2 3 4

1. I described the events in order and wrote in complete sentences.

Rarely Sometimes Most of the time

All the time

2. I used past tense when describing the events.

Rarely Sometimes Most of the time

All the time

3. I used connectors to organise the ideas / events.

Rarely Sometimes Most of the time

All the time

4. I used the first person (I, We) and the third person (he, she, they) correctly.

Rarely Sometimes Most of the time

All the time

5. I have written enough sentences ( at least 16 sentences) including details that describe how I (or the characters ) felt and thought.

With limited details

With partial details

With most of the details (at least 16 sentences)

Very thoroughly, in-depth (at least 16 sentences)

6. I spelled the words that I have learnt correctly, and used spelling strategies for new words.

Rarely Sometimes Most of the time

All the time

EDIT The Editing Process

• Whole –class guided editing

• Pair editing – using success criteria

• Individual editing - self-check using the success criteria / composition checklist

• Exchange your writing piece with your friend

• Use the Success Criteria checklist to help your partner to improve on his/her writing

• Focus (example): Replace common words with Star Words

Common Words Star Words

good fantastic

bad terrible

hungry famished

EDIT Success Criteria Checklist

Composition (50min) – 80 words

Composition Checklist

• Have at least 3 paragraphs.

• Use Interesting beginnings, e.g. a sound or dialogue.

• Use correct punctuation – capital letters, full-stop.

• Use past tense.

• Include adjectives and adverbs.

• Have correct spelling.

• Include at least one sentence of dialogue.

• Read your story once you have finished.

Writing Conventions

• Spacing

– between words

– between punctuation marks and words

• Correct spelling of High Frequency Words,

• Punctuation of dialogue,

• Capitalising on beginnings of sentences and Proper Nouns (names of people, places etc)

Current Challenges

• Pupils using “Singlish” & everyday speak:

– Sam and John got too impatient….

– I got money…

• Pupils using short forms, SMS & email languages

– OMG, Sara realised…

– The pupils lol when they saw the funny incident.

– Ok, gd

Simple Writing Tips to Remember

1. Spell the numbers (not Math!)

– There were 2 two girls at the playground

2. Give the characters simple names

– Sara and Jan were at the playground…..

3. Expressions of feelings should NOT be limited to the conclusion

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Extension Stretching pupils in writing….

Begin your story in an interesting

and exciting way.

Arouse curiosity with the following

techniques:

Beginnings Introduction

Extension (1) Open with Story Grabbers

a Question a

Quotation

Personal feelings

a Movement

Personal Experience

Describing the setting

Introduction – Story Grabbers

a Question

a Quotation

a Movement

“Why must this always happen to

me?”

“Blood is thicker than water!” I

muttered to myself …

Crash! My grandfather tumbled down

the staircase.

Introduction – Story Grabbers

Personal Experience

Personal Feelings

Describing the setting

I was cleaning my room when my eyes fell on the broken bubble wand. Memories of that horrible day flooded my mind as I recalled what happened.

I love my family very much that I will do anything for them.

It was a bright and cheery day. The azure blue clouds moved gently across the sky and the leaves on the trees were rustling in the afternoon breeze.

• Begin with a “Wow” word …Help! Ouch! Yikes!

• Guess what I got to do (where or when) …?

• You won’t believe what happened (where or when) …?

• You’re never going to believe this!

• (When) was the best / worst day of my life?

• I was so (feeling word – embarassed, excited, angry)…!

• I don’t think I’ve ever been so …(feeling word)…!

• The most amazing thing happened (where or when) …?

• What a/an (feeling word – boring, exciting) weekend!

• I love (activity word – reading, soccer, skating)…!

• Have you ever been ……….?

Extension (2) Good “Hooks” for stories

Hands-on 4 Writing an introduction using a “story grabber” or “hook”

horror movie

alone trembled in fear

tossed and turned

finally

slept

Monster

chasing

mother

comforted

Hands-on 4 Writing an introduction using a “story grabber” or “hook”

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

A Nightmare - Picture 1

Improving content

Using our 5 senses in writing

How writing assignments are graded

Writing

Content Language

Why pupils struggle with content?

• Lack of vocabulary

• Weak at spelling

• Lack of ideas

• Weak at imagination

• Inability to elaborate

Why pupils struggle with content?

• Lack of vocabulary

• Weak at spelling

• Lack of ideas

• Weak at imagination

• Inability to elaborate

Problem Pupils only rely on 1 sense - Sight

• All of us have 5 senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch)

• When pupils look at the pictures, they only write down what they see.

• Hence, their ability to describe is limited.

Using all our senses in writing Leading questions you can ask to guide children

5 senses 5 Questions

Sight “What do you see?”

Hearing “What sounds can you hear?”

Taste “Any tastes?”

Smell “Any smells/aromas?”

Touch/ feelings

“How do the characters feel? Any sensation?”

Example of relying on sight only

Jane and I were blowing

bubbles. Some boys

started to burst the bubbles.

One boy asked me for

my bubble wand and solution.

Writing down what they see only makes the content boring and bland!

Example of using all 5 senses

Jane and I were blowing bubbles.

The bubbles had a soapy smell

(smell). Some of the bubbles had

rainbow colours in the sunlight

(sight).Some boys started to burst

the bubbles. “Pop! Pop! Pop!”

(sound) The bubbles burst. One of

the bubbles popped near my

mouth. It tasted bitter (taste).

“Yucks! (sound)” I cried. One boy

asked me for my bubble wand and

solution rudely. I cried in fear

(touch/feelings).

Key idea: Getting pupils to elaborate

• When pupils engage all 5 senses, they can imagine more.

• This will boost their content as they will be able to give vivid descriptions and elaborate on what they ‘see’ from the pictures.

• Constant reinforcement of this strategy trains the child to be better writers in the long-run.

• The teacher’s face turned beetroot red …

• Tom’s face was as white as a sheet…

• Johnny felt like he was in seventh heaven when he saw that he had full marks in his class test.

• Danny’s mother was furious because he had forgotten his pocket money for the third time!

• I was drenched from head to toe …

• The girls stood rooted to the ground …

Extension (3) Using descriptive vocabulary, idioms, similes etc

Good endings give your reader the

feeling he has not wasted his time

reading. Unless the ending is given

in the question itself, think about your

ending before you write it.

Endings Conclusion

“Begin with an end in mind”

1. Relate how events finally turned out after a series of tense or difficult incidents.

With his usual playful smile on his lips, Steven continued

walking home with a bounce in his steps. His parents

were going to be so happy!

“Everything’s fine now, mom!” he answered happily,

much to Mother’s bemusement. Everything was going

to be just fine.

Back in my room, I smiled to myself. I wiped the dust off

the wand gently. It was a memorable incident indeed

“Never, Never again!” I cried to myself as waves of

remorse engulfed me. I have learnt my lesson.

Various Story Starters:

http://www.scholastic.com/teachers/story-starters/ Idea Generation Tool (Cube):

http://www.readwritethink.org/classroom-resources/student-interactives/cube-30057.html Generating Ideas for various Text-Types:

http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/studentsuccess/thinkliteracy/files/writing.pdf

Links for further tips on Writing

For input & guidance

• Ms Tracy Tan, Vice-Principal

• Mrs Adrena Ong, Head of Department / English

Language

• Ms Yong Lee Min, Head of Department / Talent

Development & Aesthetics

• Ms Tiey Huay Yong, Senior Teacher

Excerpts used from the composition written by

• Glendon Gan, 2 Kindness

• Rainnie Tan Xin Ning, 2 Teamwork

• William, 2 Diligence

Acknowledgement

Thank you for your

attention