Overcoming+Workplace+Negativity+PM+V1.1

Presents

OVERCOMING

WORKPLACE NEGATIVITY

Participant Manual

Printed in the U.S.A. ISO-DLO-PM-0101-V1.1

Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

Course Description and Learning Objectives ............................................... 1

OVERCOMING WORKPLACE NEGATIVITY

Attitudes Self-Assessment ............................................................................... 2

Sources of Negativity ........................................................................................ 4

PRIDE - Affinity Exercise ................................................................................... 5

Negativity-based Barriers ................................................................................ 6

Turning Barriers into Opportunities ............................................................... 7

What Research Suggests ................................................................................. 8

Building Relationships based on Trust ........................................................... 9

Dealing with Difficult Team Members ....................................................... 10

Disagree Agreeably ........................................................................................ 12

Four-Question Problem Solving Process ................................................... 13

Problem Solving Worksheet ........................................................................ 14

Strategies to Turn Problems into Solutions ............................................... 15

Practice and Review ...................................................................................... 16

Summary ......................................................................................................... 17

D A L E C A R N E G I E ® D I G I T A L | 1

Introduction

OVERCOMING WORKPLACE NEGATIVITY

Course Description

Negative talk can drain the energy out of you and your organization. Negative attitudes can spread like

the plague and become a huge drag on performance. That’s the bad news.

The good news is that enthusiasm and positive attitudes spread just as quickly and affect performance

just as much – in the right direction. In this session, you will learn to create an atmosphere of success

and positive thinking. You will use Dale Carnegie’s proven methods to prevent nay-sayers, whiners, and

downers from robbing you and your team of the energy to succeed.

Learning Objectives At the completion of this program, you will be able to:

Assess your own attitude in relation to the workplace around you

Identify the sources of negativity

Use principles to gain cooperation from negative people

Use a process to disagree agreeably

Identify solutions for specific workplace negativity problems

The greatest discovery of any generation is

that a human being can alter his life by

altering his attitude.

—William James

“ ”

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Attitudes Self-Assessment

Statement Yes Sometimes No

1. I enjoy my job.

2. I demonstrate empathy toward others.

3. I control my emotions in high pressure situations.

4. I keep criticism in perspective.

5. I am approachable when under pressure.

6. I am receptive to input from supervisors, peers and customers.

7. I am almost always polite.

8. I take action to resolve conflict situations that affect me or my team.

9. I solve problems instead of complaining about them to coworkers.

10. I demonstrate respect for my colleagues’ time.

11. I follow up with team members to gain trust.

12. I am genuinely interested in the ideas of my team members.

13. I listen for understanding.

14. I show respect for the other person, regardless of his/her ideas.

15. I show the same respect for internal colleagues as external customers.

16. I ask question to get to the bottom of differences of opinion.

17. I do well when confronting others.

18. I am a “people-person” by nature.

19. Others see me as a friendly person.

20. I never worry about how others perceive me or my ideas.

21. Other people seem to always understand my point of view.

22. I never engage in gossip.

23. I encourage others to refrain from negative behaviors at work.

24. Negativity in the workplace never affects my performance.

25. I tend to always see the positive attributes in others.

26. Worry and doubt rarely get in the way of my ability to get things done.

27. When faced with an obstacle, I eagerly tackle it and move on.

28. Most days I feel motivated and eager to get things done.

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Self-Assessment Results What are several of your greatest attitude strengths? These can be a source of energy and motivation when you are faced with negativity. What are several of your biggest challenges in handling negativity effectively? Examine your “No” responses. How many did you have? How about “Sometimes”? These are your greatest opportunities for improvement. When it comes to negativity, where do you see yourself on this scale? Where do others see you? We would all like to see ourselves as part of the solution, not the problem. Reflecting on your assessment and what you know about yourself in challenging work situations. Ask a colleague.

Proactively seeks

out and combats

existence of all

negative attitudes

and behavior

Observably negative about

work; engages in negative

behaviors: blaming, gossip,

conflict avoidance, peer

competition, avoidance,

nay-saying, whining,

spreading gloom

Problem Solution

Passive

Observer

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to

occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable,

unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such

moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are

likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for

different ways or truer answers. —M. Scott Peck

“

T

he

tr

u

”

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Sources of Negativity What types of negativity occur in your workplace?

The person who gossips to you will gossip

about you.

—Anonymous

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Sources of Negativity:

Thinking about the issues of negativity in your workplace, arrange them into categories. If some do not fit create your own.

PRIDE

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Negativity-based Barriers

Inaction When people get stuck and either ignore or take no action to eliminate negative attitudes and behaviors, it breeds more inaction. The situation can remain stagnant for a long time. People are uncomfortable raising issues, and they stop attempting to resolve them. Growth within the organization is inhibited.

Disagreements Negative attitudes that are expressed repeatedly over time eventually turn into disagreements. This creates conflict. Conflicts gone unchecked perpetuate themselves. Over time an attitude of conflict among team members sets in and “disagreeing” becomes the norm in day-to-day dealings with team members. Negativity and conflict become expected. Work processes slow down, inhibiting growth.

Attitude Erosion Negativity is never good for anyone’s attitude. We feel uncomfortable when it is present, whether we are directly involved or not. It can penetrate the entire team or organization. This unease undermines our otherwise positive attitudes about our team, our organization and our successes.

Minimal Motivation When negativity prevails, we feel stuck and say to ourselves, “Why bother doing a good job? I’ll have someone on my case, no matter how well I do.” We lose the motivation to pursue excellence, our careers become dissatisfying and the organization, one way or another loses a valuable team member.

Identifying Barriers

Barrier

Who owns it?

What’s in the way? Where is the impact?

When did it begin? Was there a triggering event?

Why is it happening?

How should we address it?

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Turning Barriers into Opportunities When we begin to look at negative behaviors and attitudes as opportunites we begin to have more power and control over maintaining our own positive attitudes. Some negativity starts with negative self-talk - the looped messages that play over and over in our heads that erode our confidence and outlook.

Replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk Look for negative messages in your own thinking, or in the thinking and actions of others. How would you turn the negatives into positives?

Negative Positive

“That person has it in for me. Whatever I do, he fights me on it.”

“I have a long way to go in figuring out how to meet that person’s expectations.”

“I can’t stand working with that team mate. He’s always so negative.”

“I’m really trying to develop a better relationship with my team mate. He has some really good qualities.”

“This organization is always laying off. I don’t know why we even try…we’re all going to be let go soon anyway.”

“My manager is a bigger gossip than any of the rest of us. Why fight it?”

“My team is so down because we’ve got too much work, no time to complete it and no one to appreciate our efforts. Our obstacles are overwhelming. I don’t see how we’ll make it.”

“One more team meeting. They are always such a waste of time. I don’t get anything out of them. No one does.”

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What Research Suggests

“Workplace incivility is on the rise. 75-85% of people surveyed have experienced incivility at work.”

American Psychological Association, 2011

35% workers have experienced bullying at work

68% of bullying at work is same-gender harassment

Bullying is four times more prevalent than illegal harassment Workplace Bullying Institute, 2010

Notes

D A L E C A R N E G I E ® D I G I T A L | 9

Become a Friendlier Person

1. Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.

2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.

3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

4. Become genuinely interested in other people.

5. Smile

6. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

8. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

9. Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.

Building Relationships based on Trust Where negative attitudes exist, it is challenging to trust others or attempt to influence them away from

their current way of thinking. If the climate in an organization is negative, it works against your best

efforts. Each time you act in a way that diminishes trust, the temperature of the relationship drops. Each

time you take an action that builds trust and the comfort level between you and another person, the

temperature of the relationship rises.

Use these Dale Carnegie principles from How to Win Friends and Influence People to eliminate negativity

and “warm up” relationships.

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Dealing with Difficult Team Members

Type What they might say Principles to apply

Nay-Sayers: are habitually negative and have a pessimestic view of the world. They may come across as grouchy, angry, arrogant, depressed and frustrated. They may complain often and criticize others.

That will never work.

You’ve got to be kidding!

Want to bet?

Immovables: a.k.a bullies, will resist change either by being combative, or passive. They may agree to the change in public but sabotage the effort behind the scenes.

We tried that already.

Management doesn’t know what it’s like.

Sure I’m on board, but nothing’s going to change.

Nine-to-Fivers: work no more than their required hours and are quick to tell you that something is not their job. They do the minimum to get by. Their lack of motivation is easily perceived as negative.

That is not my job.

I don’t have time to do that.

It’s time for me to go.

It isn’t important to me.

Gossipers: find joy by being in everyone’s business, creating diversions, and spreading rumors. They may say one thing to your face and another behind your back. Pettiness can be a sign of loneliness. Work may be the gossiper’s sole source of interaction.

Did you hear what John did yesterday?

I saw him searching personal information on the Internet.

That’s not what Sara told me.

Violinists: have a “woe is me” attitude. They may stay late, do extra work, then complain about the workload. They consistently whine about how busy they are and how other things take priority over what you need them to focus on.

I get all the hard jobs

I was here until 9:00 p.m. last night trying to straighten this out.

I don’t know when I’ll be able to get to this, I have three other projects.

Blamers: are quick to point the finger at anyone but themselves when mistakes occur. They always have an answer why they are not accountable for errors and can be expert at making excuses or procrastinating.

I got those numbers from someone else.

I was told that this was not a high priority.

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Gain Cooperation Win People to Your Way of Thinking

10. To get the best of an argument – avoid it.

11. Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never tell a person he or she is wrong.

12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly, emphatically.

13. Begin in a friendly way.

14. Get the other person saying, “Yes, yes” immediately.

15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

16. Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers.

17. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

18. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

19. Appeal to the nobler motives.

20. Dramatize your ideas.

21. Throw down a challenge.

Dealing with Difficult Team Members - continued

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Disagree Agreeably What do we do when we disagree with the opinions of another individual or group? What if it is a person that always seems to be negative? What if others perceive that it is you that has a negative attitude? The key question that we all face is, “How do we disagree agreeably and still have our ideas heard? Astute professionals strive to keep lines of communication open.

Often our workplace is fast-paced. We don’t always take the time to listen to and think through all sides of an issue. When we interact with someone whose opinion differs from our own, we sometimes rush to judgment. If we take time to organize our thoughts first, we can state opinions with confidence. When cushioning a response:

1. Acknowledge in a friendly way

2. Don’t agree or disagree

3. Keep lines of communication open

A cushion softens the transition from the person who expressed an opinion that we don’t agree with and our response. We first think of our response, then cushion before we speak. It is important to give our evidence immediately after the cushion and before we express our opinion. Communicating in this way allows us to be assertive without becoming aggressive that causes resentment, or being passive, surrendering our point of view and continuing to harbor negative feelings.

Avoid Using:

But

However

Nevertheless

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Four-Question Problem Solving

My Example

The only way on earth to influence other

people is to talk about what they want and

show them how to get it.

—Dale Carnegie

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Problem Solving Worksheet

Co Worker(s) Is it a supervisor, subordinate, peer, customer, or group? How will this affect my approach?

What is the problem?

What are the causes?

What are the possible solutions? (My own, and those from input from the team)

What is the best possible solution?

Principles that will help me gain cooperation

Actions I will take

Results I expect

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Strategies to Turn Problems into Solutions

Process

First, talk to the process owner.

Ask yourself, “How much control do I have over this process-related negativity problem?”

Identify root cause and an improvement opportunity.

Describe the current problem and get agreement.

Suggest a workable solution, action plan and method for giving recognition.

Role Problems

Ask yourself, “How do I perceive my role in relation to others involved in this issue?”

Take responsibility to clarify your role with others.

Prepare to change your perception of your role.

Show willingness to be flexible to achieve organizational goals.

Stay positive. A role change is a new opportunity.

Interpersonal Problems

Ask yourself, “How much do my personal biases and prejudices affect this relationship?”

Write down behaviors that you will change in order to eliminate negativity. Commit to following through for at least three months.

Put yourself in the other person’s position.

List the strengths of the other person. List the benefits to you of improving this relationship.

Direction Problems

Ask yourself, “Am I clear on the direction or vision?”

Clarify the discrepancy so that it can be described in neutral words to gain agreement.

Use “I” and “we” in communications rather than “you.”

When differences in values occur, always go with the higher value.

Make sure your comments are authentic.

External Problems

Ask yourself, “How much control do I have over this?”

Choose to fight battles only if they are worth the effort.

Invest energy into things you “can do” rather than complain about what you “can’t.”

Maintain perspective and a sense of purpose.

Talk with someone you trust.

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Review Questions

1. Use the four negativity problem solving questions in this example:

A department has made a habit of rewarding poor performers by letting them skate through

with easier assignments. They often get promoted or moved to new opportunities by leaders

who are glad to see them go. Top performers have an exhaustive workload because they are

dependable. They have become negative because they feel the extra work piled onto them, and

the lack of attention for promotion is punishment. This negativity is derailing productivity

among the organization’s key people. How would you suggest leaders turn this negative

situation around?

2. Name three principles you can apply to gain cooperation and win people over to your way of

thinking.

3. What is a characteristic of a person who is “immovable?” How would you communicate with

this person?

4. How is the acronym PRIDE helpful when dealing with negativity problems?

5. What are the steps to disagree agreeably?

6. What strategies would you employ when dealing with a “process” negativity problem? How

about a “direction” problem?

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Summary The most useful ideas I gained:

Useful Ideas

1.

2.

3.

4.

Specific actions I will take:

What When

Business impact:

If you have the will to win, you have

achieved half your success; if you don’t you

have achieved half your failure.

—David Ambrose

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