Organization for Short Correspondence. Make several decisions revisit PAGOS Specific purpose may determine organization adjustment, claim, request, complaint,

OrganizationOrganizationfor Short Correspondencefor Short Correspondence

Organization for Short Correspondence

Make several decisions revisit PAGOSSpecific purpose may determine organization

adjustment, claim, request, complaint, inquiry, response, “to-file”, etc. (check the book)

Good News/Neutral Pattern of Organization• Main idea, purpose• Details• Goodwill closing

Bad News Pattern of Organization• Opening with context (buffer)• Explanation• Bad news (alternative?)• Goodwill closing (alternative?)

Or, buffer, explanation, bad news, exit (BEBE)

Types of BuffersTypes of Buffers

• Start with any good news or positive elements the letter contains.

• State a fact or provide a chronology of events.

• Refer to enclosures in the letter.

• Thank the reader for something he or she has done.

• State a general principle.

AlternativesAlternatives

• Offer the reader another way to get what’s wanted.

• Suggest the writer really cares about the reader.

• Enable the reader to reestablish psychological freedom.

• Allow you to end on a positive note.

Persuasive/Request Pattern of Organization

(Purpose, Audience Context?)

• Opening: Problem statement? Hook? Detail? Situation/Context? Request?– LINK TO READER BENEFIT

• Body: details, reasons, etc.

• Close: restate request, idea

Back to Basics

Good Professional Writing is:– clear– complete– correct– concise – builds goodwill

Building GoodwillBuilding Goodwill

• You-Attitude or You Viewpoint

• Positive Emphasis

• Reader Benefits

You Attitude (You Viewpoint)

A style of writing which looks at things from the reader’s point of view.

What is their point of view?

PAAGOS Audience

Ways to demonstrate you attitudeI/we you

Focus on what the reader receives or can do, not on what you’ve done.

Not YA: We have invested a lot of money to

build the biggest inventory in town.

YA: You can choose from the largest

selection of gifts in town, thanks to

Robinson’s large inventory.

Ways to demonstrate you attitudecan’t can

Focus on what the reader receives or can do, not on what the reader cannot do.

Not YA: Non-standard merchandise may not be purchased without the prior approval of the Plant Manager.

YA: To purchase non-standard merchandise, you must first get the

Plant Manager’s approval.

can’t can

Not YA: You may not be excused from class for

religious observance without sending

written notice to your professor.

YA:

Ways to demonstrate you attitude Provide details

Emphasize what the reader wants to know.

Not YA: We shipped your order today.

Your order has been shipped. (not YA enough)

YA: You should receive your order early next week.

Provide details

Not YA: I have graded your project.

YA:

Ways to demonstrate you attitude Be Cautious of Feelings

Not YA: We are happy to give you a credit line

of $2000.

YA: You now have a credit line of $2000 with

American Express.

Not YA: You will be overjoyed to learn that your

vacation request has been approved.

YA: Your vacation request has been approved.

or

Yes, you may take October 15-22 as vacation days.

Be Cautious of Feelings

Not YA: I’m happy to assign extra reading because

I know it will help you understand the

material.

YA:

Not YA: You will be glad to know that you earned a

C+ on the project.

YA:

Exception – Talk about your feelings

Exception: You may talk about feelings in a

condolence or congratulatory message.

YA: I am sorry to hear that your father died.

YA: I’m delighted that you’ll be our new sales

manager.

Avoid “you” when it singles out the individual reader. Instead, talk about the group to which the reader belongs.

Not YA: You must get approval from the instructor before you turn in your proposal.

YA: Students must get the instructor’s approval before turning in their proposals.

Ways to demonstrate you attitude Avoid “You” in Negative Situations

Not YA: You may not be excused from class for

your sister’s wedding.

YA:

Avoid “You” in Negative Situations

Ways to use you attitude Avoid “You” in Negative Situations

Avoid “you” when it criticizes the reader. Instead, use a passive verb construction or an impersonal construction to avoid assigning blame.

Not YA: You failed to sign your check.

YA: Your check was not signed.

PV (actor implied, not in sentence) by who?

YA: Your check arrived without a signature.

IC (object performs action, no actor)

Passive Construction to deemphasize responsibility

Passive Verb/Construction: the actor is implied, but not in the sentence.

Sentence: You did not fill out the job application completely.

Passive Verb Revision: The application was not filled out completely. (by who?)

Impersonal Construction to deemphasize responsibility

Impersonal Construction: The object performs the action.

Sentence: You did not fill out the job application completely.

Impersonal Construction Revision: The application is incomplete.

Sentence: Cindy failed to turn in her project on time.

Passive Verb Revision: The project was not turned in on time. (by who?)

Impersonal Construction Revision: The project is late.

Sentence: You will receive a $100 fine.

Passive Verb Revision: A $100 fine will be received. (by who?)

Impersonal Construction Revision: A $100 fine is assessed.

Sentence: You did not include your error log.

Passive Verb Revision: The error log was not included. (by who?)

Impersonal Construction Revision: The error log is missing.

Sentence: The file you gave me won’t open.

Passive Verb Revision: The file submitted will not open. (by who?)

Impersonal Construction Revision: The file is corrupted. The file will not open.

Create Positive Emphasis

1. Eliminate negative words and words with negative connotations.

2. Focus on what the reader can do rather than on limitations.

3. Justify negative information by giving a reason or a reader benefit.

4. If the negative is truly unimportant, omit it.

5. Bury the negative information and present it compactly.

Ways to create positive emphasisEliminate Negative Words

• afraid• anxious• delay• delinquent• dissatisfied• error• fail

• loss• misfortune• missing• not• problem• reject• weakness

• I’m afraid that you were assigned a broken chair.

• One weakness in your project is your budget.

• You are not able to file for an exemption until a

• Noah failed to turn in his library books on time.

Include Reader Benefits

• Benefits and advantages the reader gets from– using your services– buying your products– following your policies– adopting your ideas

• Demonstrate your concern for quality and meeting customers’ needs

Good Reader Benefits are

• Adapted to the audience– Saving money vs. saving time

• Developed using logic and details– Accurate– Detailed

• Phrased in You-Attitude

• Benefits are often “frontloaded”