Orange Peel Gazette

785-776-7467STORE HOURS: Mon-Sat 10-8 Sun 12-5

600 S 4th STREET, MANHATTANOn The Corner of 4th & Fort Riley BLVD

FeaTuring BOOTs BY:TOnY Lama - nOcOna

Lucchese - ariaT - BOuLeT

residential home Sales,rentals and More!

212-a S. BrOadway, riLEy - 785-532-9709

785-238-6813

Good For ONE FREE Game of Bowling per person per day. Not Valid on

Cyber Bowl. Shoe Rental Not Included.Offer Exp. 06/30/11

CUT OUT THIS COUpON AND RECEIVE

ONE FREE GAME OF BOwLING!

OPeN @ 9 AM DAILy!

835 S. WAShINGtON St, JuNctION cIty

The 6 right foot

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

Trust me try this, it takes only few

seconds.This is so funny that it will

boggle your mind. And, you will

keep trying it at least 50 more times

to see if you can outsmart your

foot. But you can't!!!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off

the floor and make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6"

in the air with your right hand..

Your foot will change direction!!!

I told you so.. And there is nothing you can

do about it. You don't stop laughing because you grow

old. You grow old because you stop laughing! Take

heed and pass these along to people who need a laugh.

OrANgE PEEl gAzETTE Of NOrThEASTErN KANSAS“ThE hOTTEST lITTlE PAPEr IN TOWN” PAgE 8

FOR ADveRtISING:NE Kansas Edition

785-307-0450

[email protected]

nOrTheAsTern KAnsAs ediTiOn - servinG riLey, GeAry And CLAy COunTies

“T“Thehe hhOTTesTOTTesT LLiTTLeiTTLe PPAPerAPer iinn TTOwnOwn!”!”

Distributed by: Orange Peel GazettePO BOx 262, Clay Center, KS 67432

“Connecting Customers to Businesses...That’s what we do Best!” ™

Reaching Thousands of Readers with Each Issue!

June 15, 2011 volume 1, Issue 7

“Your Friends in Real Estate”

WWW.FortRiley-RealEstate.com

Joy Francis - Broker

785-762-1702See OUr liStinGS in the

ClaSSiFiedS - PG 7!

For Sale!

CheCK OuTOur newCOunTy

BusinessPAGes!

Great local businesseslisted by county

For only $20/issue your businesscan be there too!

PG 3 - cLAy ctyPG 4 - RILey ctyPG 5 - GeARy cty

Abilene Bed & Breakfast Inn

For Reservations Call

OFFYourEntireStay!

at the historic C.L. Brown Mansion

www.theABBI.com

[email protected]

One Coupon Per Stay. Offer Exp 9/15/11

308 W 6th StReetJuNctION cIty

785-238-8335

‘RAW’ Dog Food IN STOCK!

Flea & Tick Collars-K9 Advantage

TONS OF FOOD IN STOCK!

GROOMING & BOARDINGAVAILABLE

Eukanuba-Science Diet-Wellness-Taste of the Wild-Merrick-Nutri Source-Deli Fresh-Royal Canine-Avoderm-Innova-EVO-California Natural-Stella & Chewys...AND MANY MORE!

STORE HOURS: Mon-Sat 10-8 Sun 12-5

600 S 4th STREET, MANHATTANOn The Corner of 4th & Fort Riley BLVD

TOnY Lama - nOcOna

Lucchese - ariaT - BOuLeT

StetSon HatS-Hat Cleaning-Boot RepaiR

With One Year Warranty!

clay center

Junction city

FortRiley

Milford

Riley

Leonardville

Ogden

Randolph

Wakefield

Grandview Plaza

Morganville

Green

Abilene

chapman

Manhattan

COLLECtiBLES & MOrE

212-a S. BrOadway, riLEy - 785-532-9709

OPEN: Fri & Sat 11-7 - SuN 11-5

“Booth Space Available”

Find us on ...www.facebook.com/OPGKansas

Find Us On Facebook!

www.facebook.com/OPGKansasCall 785-560-3057 or www.opgkansas.com

Go to - www.facebook.com/OPGkansas

LIKE uS! (not just because we’re funny)

coupons, Discounts and updates from our advertisers will be posted DAILy!

OPEN

Mon-Fri 9 - 6:30Sat 9 - 6 & Sun 1 - 4

JUNE 18th - 11am - 3pm

Stop by and SAVE A LIFE!

800 N Buckeye Ave, ABILeNe

“Come Spend the Weekend With US!”

785-263-4900

Why American’s Should Never Be Allowed toTravel

The following are actual stories that have been pro-vided by travel agents. They provide ample reasons formaking our title statement:

•I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that his or herhair wouldn’t get messed up by being near the window.

•A client called inquiring about a package to Hawaii.After going over all the cost info, she asked, “Would it becheaper to fly to California and then take the train toHawaii?”

•I got a call from a woman who wanted to go toCapetown. I started to explain the length of the flight andthe passport information when she interrupted me with,“I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown isin Massachusetts.” Without trying to make HER looklike the stupid one, I calmly explained, “CapeCOD is inMassachusetts, CapeTOWN is in South Africa.” Her response...click!

•A man called, furious about a Florida package we puttogether for him. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was “expecting anocean-view room.” I tried to explain that it is not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, “Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map andFlorida is a very thin State.”

•I got a call from a man who asked, “Is it possible tosee England from Canada?” I said, “No.” He said,“That’s odd. They look so close on the map.”

•Another man called and asked if he could rent a car inDallas. When I pulled up his reservation, I noticed thathe only had a one-hour lay over in Dallas. When I askedwhy he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I heard Dallas wasa really big airport and I need a car to drive between thegates to save time.”

•A nice lady just called. She needed to know how itwas possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20amand got to Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain thatMichigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could notunderstand the concept of time zones, so I just told herthe plane went very fast. She bought that!

•A woman called and asked, “Do airlines put yourphysical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?” I said, “No, why do you ask?”She replied, “Well, when I checked in with the airline,they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I amoverweight. Is there any connection?” After putting heron hold for a moment while I “looked into it” (actuallylaughing my head off), I came back and explained that thecity code for Fresno is FAT and that the airline was justputting a destination tag on her luggage.

(Information gathered herein is from sources considered reliable. Accuracy however cannot be guaranteed. All humorous stories and jokes appearinghere are intended for entertainment purposes only and are not meant to disrespect orharm any group or individuals. Ads appearing in this paper are not to be considered

as an endorsement or validation by Orange Peel Gazette for products or services offered.) In short-just relax and have fun!

Get the most out of your advertising dollarsOne Ad+Three COunTies=suCCess

Call 785-307-0450www.opgkansas.com & www.facebook.com/opgkansas

Full Care Horse Boarding, Stalls and PastureEnglish and Western Riding Lessons for all ages - $25

Call Lynn - 785-313-4080 for more informationLocated 10 miles west of Manhattan in Riley

Trail Rides - $25

summer horse camps

June 27-July 1st

9am -1pm

NeeD A cLASSIFIeD AD?5 LINES FOR $5!

each additional line - $1!your listing runs for 2 weeks

and goes to 3 counties!call 785-307-0450

OrANgE PEEl gAzETTE Of NOrThEASTErN KANSAS“ThE hOTTEST lITTlE PAPEr IN TOWN” PAgE 2

OrANgE PEEl gAzETTE Of NOrThEASTErN KANSAS“ThE hOTTEST lITTlE PAPEr IN TOWN” PAgE 7

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich

behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and

turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order

'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into

his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and

the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke.'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with

exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter

again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday so I will have a steak, baked potato

and a salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says,

'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his

pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.

'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come

up with the exact change in your pocket every time?

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning

the attic I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a

Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first

wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would

just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of

money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would

ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll

always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls

Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man..

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs... pauses and answers, 'My second wish

was for a chick with long legs and who agrees with

everything I say.'

Eating right According to a recent article I just read on nutrition,

they said eating right doesn't have to be complicated.Nutritionists say there is a simple way to tell if you'reeating right. Colors. Fill your plates with bright colors.Greens, reds, yellows. In fact, I did that this morning. Ihad an entire bowl of M&M's. It was delicious! I neverknew eating right could be so easy.

legal fees A man walks into a lawyer's office and asks how

much the barrister's rates are. The lawyer says fiftydollars for three questions.

The man asks, "Isn't that awfully expensive" "Yes," the lawyer replies, "what's your third

question?" lamaze Class

A couple just started their Lamaze class and theywere given an activity requiring the husband to wear abag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like tobe pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad."

The instructor then dropped a pen and asked thehusband to pick it up.

"You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husbandasked.

"Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to

his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."

Oops! really?Bovine resilience: In France a motorist collided

with a cow on a country road. A few seconds later themotorist turned around and found a cow sitting in herback seat. Thrown into the air, the cow had crashedthrough the car’s canvas top. The top had to be sawedoff to get the cow out. Bossy was uninjured! CowsDO fly, sometimes...

Empty Stomach Little Susie, a six-year-old, came home from school

whining, "Mommy, I've got a stomachache.""That's because your stomach is empty," her mother

replied. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."She gave Susie a snack and sure enough, Susie felt better right away.

That afternoon the family's minister dropped by.While he was chatting with Susie's mom, he mentionedhe'd had a bad headache all day long.

Susie perked up. "That's because it's empty," shesaid. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."

Sunday School Test A Sunday school teacher asked little Johnny who

the first man in the Bible was. "Hoss," said Johnny. "Wrong," said the teacher. "It was Adam." "Shucks!" Johnny replied. "I knew it was one of

them Cartwrights."

Where's the Paper? "Have you seen this morning's paper?" "Yes, I wrapped the garbage in it." "But I hadn't seen it yet!" "You didn't miss much. Just some coffee grounds

and a few orange peels."

O.P.G. CLASSIFIEDSCall 785-307-0450 to be l is ted!

5 L ines Only $5.00 for 1 i s s u e ! ( E a c h A d d i t i o n a l L i n e $ 1 )

EVENTS

FOR SALE

HOMES FOR SALE HOMES FOR SALE

The Pampered weThe Pampered wedddingding“event Planning with style”

Call Today for a Free Consultation

Candy Buffets - Decor Design - Weddings & receptions - rehearsal Dinners

engagement Parties - Bridal & Baby Showers - anniversary/retirement

Din

ners

&P

arties

-S

po

rtse

ven

ts

Ho

lid

ay

s&

Bir

thd

ay

s-

an

dM

ore

!

10% Off 757-589-3525757-589-3525event decor set-upwith this coupon

Affordable Wedding Packages Available!

We do all types of Signature Events!

www.thepamperedwedding.com

Wakefield-$129,900*Turn Key Home*

3 bedrooms, 1.5 bathremodeled home. screened

in porch, privacy fence.785-762-1702

Wakefield-$176,900*New Construction*3 bedroom, 2 bath, view out basement,

3 car garage.785-762-1702

Whisky Lake RacewayJune 17th & 24th

7:30-10:00pmGates Open at 6pm

come and enjoy the races301 Racetrack Rd, jc

785-461-5591

Wakefield-$182,000*Quiet Neighborhood*

newer 3 bedroom, 2 bath, fireplace, full unfinished

basement w/2 car garage.785-762-1702

Wakefield-$138,000*investor Wanted*

4 Unit-2 Bedroom, 1 bath-room Apartments.

fully Rented

785-762-1702

clay center-$60,000*Priced to Sell*

2 bedroom, 1 bath,1 car Garage &full basement.785-762-1702

NeeD A cLASSIFIeD AD?5 LINES FOR $5!

each additional line - $1!your listing runs for 2 weeks

and goes to 3 counties!call 785-307-0450

Junction city-$125,900*Priced To Sell

3 bedroom, 2.5 bath duplex.fireplace, and 2 car garage.

785-762-1702

Junction city-$125,900*Priced To Sell*

2 bedroom, 2.5 bath duplex.fireplace, family room

and 2 car garage.785-762-1702

this classified AdWould only cost you $5 for

two weeks...785-307-0450

clay county Fairgroundsjune 18 - Poultry & small

animal auction - check in-7:00 a.m., auction 12:00p.m.

Today's QuickieQ: Why do seagulls fly over the sea? A: Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls (bagels, get it?).

Manhattan, Kansas785.320.7633 - [email protected]

Retail design, yard signs, banners, vehicle graphics, wraps and much more.

intense Gifts!

Custom art done Upon tile-Using Grout!!

Curious Goods by Morning Star Cementitious Artistry

Natural Stone Jewelery - candles - Paintings - Dried Arrangements - Incense - hand Painted Wine Glasses

And So Much More!-CHECK OUT OUR UPDATED WEBSITE!

visit us On the Web @ www.morningstarca.com

130 Grant ave, Junction city

785-223-5300hours

11AM

4PM

11AM

7PM

11AM

8PMcLOSeD

WeD

FRI

SuN

MONSAt

tue

thuR

FREE CANOf sOda With

any PuRchaseWith this cOuPOn

OffeR exP. june 30, 2011

BaBy Back Plate

w/ 2 SideS

EvERyday SpEcial:

Find Us On Facebook!

www.facebook.com/OPGKansasCall 785-560-3057 or www.opgkansas.com

Go to - www.facebook.com/OPGkansas

LIKE uS! (not just because we’re funny)

coupons, Discounts and updates from our advertisers will be posted DAILy!

Pistol / Rifle Range - $10/day

OPEN June 18,19,23

Info- 785-485-5527

Located 1/2 mile e of 77 & 16

local Food & Meats - Gluten

Free Foods - Fresh & Organic

Produce - Vegan alternatives

& Much More!

1620 Ft. Riley Blvd. Ste. 101hours: Mon-Sun 9-8

(785-539-4811

company

logo or

artwork

Randolph

rileY COUntY

Leonardville

Riley

Ogden

MANhAttAN

is Your Business

in riley County?

Get noticed With a

Business Page 2x2

for Only $20!

Call today! 785-307-0450

“Your Friends in Real Estate”

WWW.FortRiley-RealEstate.com

785-762-1702

residential home Sales,rentals and More!

For Sale!

OpEN DAILy! 785-587-9356

4700 tuttLe cReek BLvD

RODS sReeLS shOOkS sLINe

sSINkeRS sLuReS sLIve BAIt

sPOP schIPS sSANDIcheS

AND MUCH MORE!

area BUSineSSeS

Orange Peel Gazette - PG 4

area BUSineSSeS

Orange Peel Gazette - PG 5

dresses, tunic tops,

Shoes, handbags

& Jewelry

“NeW FAShION IN MANhAttAN!”

312 tuttLecReek PLAzA Ste c

Retail foR WoMen

Mon-Sat 10 - 9 & Sun 12 - 4

785-539-9997

GReAt PRIceS!

625 N. ADAMS, JuNctION cIty

MOn-FRI 9:30 - 5:30SAt 9 - 1

daY Old Bread ChiPS - SnaCKS

handMade CraFtSin OUr GiFt area!

OpEN DAILy! 785-238-8955

8508 N. hWy 77, MILFORD

PIzzA-WINGS-BuRGeRS-BAIt-BeeR

7 lbOne coupon Per PersonPer Visit. Offer exp. 07/15/11

7 lb BAG OF ICE

Manhattan, Kansas785.320.7633 - [email protected]

Retail design, yard signs, banners, vehicle graphics, wraps and much more.

ThEy DO

GREAT WORk!

cALL785-307-0450

2 Weeks of Advertising!

don’t Want to Break the Bank?

need advertising For Your Business?

[email protected]

Contact the Orange Peel Gazette tOdaY to get YOUr BUSineSS nOtiCed in

our neW Business Pages! Your County-Your ad-Your Success 785-560-3057

don’t Want to Break the Bank?

need advertising For Your Business?

[email protected]

Contact the Orange Peel Gazette tOdaY to get YOUr BUSineSS nOtiCed in

our neW Business Pages! Your County-Your ad-Your Success 785-560-3057

Music in the ParkStarting June 3rd, 7pm

CONtiNuiNg EvEry Fri @ 7PM

Bring a lawn chair and listen to greatmusic! Hosted by the Arts Council,

enjoy evenings of great entertainmentunder the stars at Heritage Park in

Downtown Junction City

785-762-6888

BOAT SALES & SERVICE

FACTORy TRAINED IN

MERCURy-JOHNSON-yAMAHA

SALES & SERVICE

TROLLING MOTOR REpAIR

2026 N. JAckSON, JuNctION cIty

785-238-4010

MILFORD LAkE MARINA“Home of the

INSIDe MILFORD StAte PARk

Cheeseburger!”

Doctor Says/Doctor Means..."If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."

-- I don't know what it is. Maybe it will go away by it-self.

"That's quite a nasty looking wound." -- I thinkI'm going to throw up.

"This may hurt a little." -- Last week two patientsbit off their tongues.

"Well, we're not feeling so well today, are we?" -- I'm stalling for time. Who are you and why are youhere?

"This should fix you up." -- The drug companyslipped me some big bucks to prescribe this stuff.

"Everything seems to be normal." -- Rats! Iguess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.

"I'd like to run some more tests." -- I can't figureout what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solvethis one.

"There is a lot of that going around." -- That'sthe third one this week! I'd better learn somethingabout this.

"If those symptoms persist, call for an appoint-ment." -- I've never heard of anything so disgusting.Thankfully I'm off next week.

how Ya feeling? The doctor in a small North Carolina clinic asked

the weather-beaten mountaineer how he was feeling. "Well ... it's like this," drawled the man. "I'm still a-

kickin', but I ain't raisin' no dust."

This Dog loves PeopleThe following is supposedly a true story.

A normally sweet Great Dane Phil has one quirk:she hates United Parcel Service drivers.

While walking Phil one day, around the corner of ahouse came a UPS man.

Struggling to keep hold of Phil, the owner tried toease the situation said, "As you can see, he just lovesUPS men."

"Don't you feed him anything else?" he responded.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphaltunder his arm and says: "A beer please,

and one for the road."

company

logo or

artwork

cALL785-307-0450

2 Weeks of Advertising!

785-307-0450 785-307-0450

Call 785-341-8767

Free estimates

interior / exterior

Serving Manhattan/Junction City& Surrounding Areas

Jeremy Sutton - Owner

Beat the Summer HEATat the

Manhattan Parks & Rec

POOLS!(& Splash Park!)

Pool Hours:

City Pool: 1pm-8:45pm Daily

CiCo Pool: 1pm-8:45pm Daily

Northview Pool: 1pm-8:45pm Daily

Splash Park in City Park: 11am-8pm

RATES: Adults(16+) $5 Youth(2-15) $4Under 2 FREE! - Sting Ray Wave Pool(all ages)$2

More reasons Why Americans Shouldn’t Travel

•I just got off the phone with a man who asked,“How do I know which plane to get on?” I asked himwhat exactly he meant, which he replied, “I was toldmy flight number is 823, but none of theses darn planeshave numbers on them!”

•A woman called and said, “I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those computer planes. “I asked if shemeant Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, “Yea,whatever.”

•A woman called to make reservations, “I want togo from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York.” Theagent was at a loss for words. Finally the agent asked,“Are you sure that’s the name of the town?” “Yes”, shesaid, “what flights do you have?” After some search-ing, the agent came back with, “I’m sorry ma’am. I’velooked up every airport code in the country and can’tfind a Hippopotamus anywhere.” The customer re-torted, “Oh don’t be silly. Everyone knows where it is.Check your map!” The agent scoured a map of thestate of New York and finally offered, “You don’t meanBuffalo, do you?” The caller responded, “That’s it! Iknew it was a really big animal!”

Under the Bed Because of back problems, each night I lie on the

floor and do exercises. Once when we stopped at amotel, as I started my exercise, something under thebed caught my eye. It was a card, on which was written"Yes, we do clean under here, too."

how Important? I was watching a Brittish detective story on TV. The

local group was gathering in their hunting best for a foxhunt. In the opening scene my 9 year old daughterwanted to know what the people were doing, noticingthe formal hunting outfits and well groomed horses. Ireplied that they were looking for a fox. There was ashort stunned silence and then she asked: "Is it a veryimportant fox?"

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartendersays, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Find us on ...www.facebook.com/OPGKansas Find us on ...www.facebook.com/OPGKansas

785-632-3341

503 cOuRt St, cLAy ceNteR

MON-Fri 10-5:30

SAt 9-1:30

DiStiNctivEiMAgES

JOrDy NELSON

BobbleheadsAVAILABLE!

$ 27.99

Father’s Day!

730 BRIDGe St, cLAy ceNteR

MON-SAT 6AM - 10pM

SUN 6AM - 3pM

785-777-2727

GREAt FooD

FEAtuRiNG:

Steak

Ribs

Fried Chicken

AND MoRE!

6 - 11 AM

EVERYDAY!

OrANgE PEEl gAzETTE Of NOrThEASTErN KANSAS“ThE hOTTEST lITTlE PAPEr IN TOWN” PAgE 6

Company Examination A company was hiring new staff. One question in

the written exam was: You are driving your car in a wild stormy night.

You pass by a bus station, and you see three peoplewaiting for the bus: an old lady who looks as if she isabout to die, a doctor who had once saved your life, aperson you have been dreaming to be with. You canonly take one passenger in your car. Which one willyou choose? Please explain your answer.

Think about it before you continue reading. This must be some kind of personality test. Every

answer has its reasoning. You could pick up the old lady. She is going to die,

and thus you should save her first. You could take thedoctor, because he once saved your life. This will bethe perfect chance to pay him back. However, youcould always pay the doctor back in the future, but youmay never be able to find the perfect love once youpass this chance. The candidate who was eventuallyhired (out of 200 applicants) did not have to explainhis answer.

What Did He Say? He simply answered: "Give thecar key to the doctor. Let him take the old lady to thehospital. I will stay and wait for the bus with the person of my dreams."

Census Taker The old man was setting on his porch, when a

young man walked up with a pad and pencil in hishand.

"What are you selling, young man," he asked. "I'm not selling anything, sir." the young man

replied. "I'm the Census Taker." "A what?" the man asked. "A Census Taker. We are trying to find out how

many people are in the United States." "Well," the man answered. "You're wasting your

time with me, I have no idea." Can I help?

One summer evening a young son came in whilehis parents were setting the table for supper. Quite surprisingly, he asked if he could help.

His mother said, "No, but I appreciate you asking." The child responded,

"Well, I appreciate you saying no."

area BUSineSSeS

Orange Peel Gazette - PG 3

Immutable laws •When one wishes to unlock a door but has has only

one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket. (VonFumbles Law)

•A door will snap shut only when you have left thekeys inside. (Yale Law of Destiny)

•When one's hands are covered with oil, grease, orglue, your nose will start to itch. (Law of Ichiban)

•Your insurance will cover everything but what hashappened. (Insurance So Sorry Law)

•When things seem to be going well, you've proba-bly forgotten to do something. (Cheney's SecondCorollary)

•When things seem easy to do, it's because youhaven't followed all the instructions. (Destiny AwaitsLaw)

•If you keep your cool when everyone else is losinghis, it's probably because you have not realized the se-riousness of the problem. (Law of Gravitas)

•Most problems are not created or solved; they onlychange appearances. (Einstein's Law of Persistence)

•You will run to answer the telephone just as theparty hangs up on you. (Principle of Dingaling)

•Whenever you connect with the Internet, the callyou've been waiting for all day will arrive. (Principleof Bellsouth)

•Each and every body sitting on a commode willcause the doorbell to ring. (Law of Ding Dong)

fire Test Joey and his classmates had just finished a tour of

the local fire hall. Before each student could leave, thefire chief quizzed him. The fire chief asked little Joey,"What do you do if your clothes catch on fire?"

Joey replied promptly, "I don't put them on."

Your home For

Ferguson rexallDrug

713 5th StReet, cLAy ceNteR

A FuLL SeRvIce PhARMAcy

785-632-3121

MON-FRI s 9 - 5:30 & SAt s 9 -1

DOWNtOWN cLAy ceNteR

OPeN

Mon-Fri 9:30- 5:30

785-632-5970785-632-5970SAt - By APPOINtMeNt

reTAiL sALes CenTer

Floor Coverings-Furnitureand More!

531 cOuRt St, cLAy ceNteR

Terrific fashions for you and your family!

Koret Alfred Dunner Ruby Rd. Haggar Izod Little

Me and more!

717 5th Street Clay Center

Newman Solutions

ccOMMeRcIALOMMeRcIAL & R& ReSIDeNtIALeSIDeNtIAL

PLuMBINGseLectRIcALscARPeNtRy

ROOFINGsPAINtING

cALL RON - 785-632-5868

Video Drain Inspections-Drain Cleaning

Property Clean up & Management

Drywall Hang Tape and Texture

Door & Window Installation

Fire & Flood Repair

Gutter Cleaning

AND SO MUCH MORE!

Cherish the Moments, Preserve the Memories.

Dare To Dream Photography

Many Affordable Weddings Packages Available!

Family, Individual, Infant, Maternity,

Engagement & Senior Portraits

Military Discounts

Call 785-209-0114On The Web -www.daretodreamphotography.webs.com

Opee Gazette says: Let’s Play!

Who Wants to Be A zillionaire?

$433,000 Question...When a horse runs out sideways away from an objectthat is scaring it, they are said to be...?A) Bashful B) IntrovertedC) Shy D) Small

$434,000 Question...Another word for filing a horse’s teeth if they are toolong or have sharp edges is?A) Float B) FilterC) Flount D) Fake

$435,000 Question...A horse used for pleasure riding is called...?A) Trouble B) LazyC) Hannibal D) Hack

$436,000 Question...A band of webbing, string or leather that holds aWestern saddle on is called...?A) Cinch B) ChalkC) Clod D) Charlete

$437,000 Question...When talking about a horses grade, you are dis-cussing its...?A) Stature B) BreedingC) Length D) Weight

$438,000 Question...A newly trained horse or pony with little experiencebeing ridden or driven is said to be...?A) Senior B) GreenC) Stable D) Shifty

$439,000 Question...The equipment used in riding horses such as saddleand bridle is called the...?A) Tack B) MechanicsC) Strapping D) Hardware

(Answers below - See you next issue)

Answers: $433 - C $434 - A; $435 - D;

$436 - A; $437 - C; $438 - B; $439 - A.

THE

HORSE QuIz

785-307-0450

“Clean Quality Drywall”

Commercial-residential

Expert Installation

Professional results

785-632-0453785-461-5555

Fri-saTsteaks-smoked ribs-Brisket

Try OurOPEN 7 DAYSMON-SAt 11AM-MiDNight

SuN 11AM-10PM

DOuG’s suzy QBAR & GRIll

614 ELM ST, wAkEFIELD

“Best Cheeseburgers In The County!”

Stop by for our Daily Lunch Specials!

Doug & Yvette Horner

[email protected]

Shop Online At(google)

www.number1onlinehealth.com

Independent Distributors

Or Call

785-307-0597

785-307-0788

Available JUNE 30th-July 4th

“Watch For Our Signs!”

1908 9th Road, Wakefield