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All year you look orward to the summer, and whenit fnally comes, what happens? Not much. Theres no
school, and its so hot already you sweat standing still, but
thats about it. Nothing special. Lie goes on like normal
here at Casa DAngelo. This morning, the human alarm
that is my little sister shrieking as i she was being
yanked through the roo by a giant pterosaur went o
at approximately 6:31. (I my bedroom wasnt right o the
kitchen, Id avoid this, but i I didnt sleep in the old pan-
try, Id have to share with her. Which is worse. Id rather
sleep in a tree.) Anyway, 6:31 was an improvement on
yesterday. Yesterday, Zelda woke me up at 6:17 because
the cat was on her chair. Today, it wasnt anything that
exciting. She was having a meltdown because a cornake
missed her bowl and landed on the table. (NIGHTMARE
ON LEBANON ROAD! Everybody head or the hills!) So
then she got mad because I laughed at her. My mother
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it on YouTube. (Ive never seen anybody turn that shade
o red beore. It was truly awe-inspiring! I thought Mr. Kwas going to have a heart attack.) Louie says that it isnt
unusual to have to suer or your art. Mr. Kitosky said i
he ever catches Louie with a camera in his hands again,
hell teach him what suering really is.
Back home to sweat and reacquaint mysel with hysteria.
My amily can make a blood-and-tears tragedy out o los-
ing a key. Tonights big drama was because when Guss
date came to pick her up, Dad called him Elroy. As in,
Hi, there, Elroy. Nice to see you again. Elroy was last
week. This ones named Zak. Gus laughed at the time,
but she went ballistic when she came home. She said
sometimes she thinks Dad embarrasses her on purpose.
(He doesnt.) Dad said its not his ault that Gus is a serial
dater, and i she wants him to remember the names o
all the boys she goes out with, she should either make
them wear name tags or date boys who dont look so
much like each other. She said maybe she should start
dating girls. (It wouldnt make any dierence. He still
wouldnt be able to tell them apart.) I said to Dad it must
be a great relie to him that his middle daughter only
ever had two and a hal dates in her whole lie. He said
when were they? I cant blame him or orgetting. They
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werent exactly worth remembering. (Only I probably
will, because its starting to look like theyre the onlydates Ill ever have.)
I was hoping something wonderul would happen this
summer. Now I just hope I dont melt.
This morning the screaming that woke me up wasGus, not Zelda. Gus couldnt fnd her new sandals. Obvi-
ously, I must have taken them to bed with me. Other
people take the stued rabbit they had when they were
little. I take my sisters shoes. I told her to get real and
leave me alone. She wouldnt budge. (I theres one way
my sisters are alike, its that theyre both as stubborn as
bloodstains.) Gus said shed looked EVERYWHERE. She
couldnt go to work until she ound them. I suggested
(reasonably) that she wear something else. Its not like
she has only one pair o shoes. (She could open a store.
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No, she could open a chain.) Gus said she didnt want
to wear something else. O course. I you ask me, its notjust Zelda who has issues. Gus is clinically irrational. She
wouldnt stop screaming. I mean it, Hildy! Youd better
give me back my shoes! When she tries, Gus can yell
loud enough to be heard in Alaska. I pictured all these
Alaskans looking puzzled and trying to fgure out who
Hildy was. That made me laugh. Which made her even
madder. The sandals were under the porch swing. Mom
ound them. Im glad Im staying at Nomis tonight. Mr.
and Mrs. Slevka went to some big antiques air to sell old
jars and wont be back till tomorrow. Nomi may be well
known or her eistiness and her big mouth (my gran says
that not only would Nomi argue with the devil himsel,
shed win), but shes terrifed o being home alone. Even
with the new alarm Mr. Slevka put in. Which is fne with
me. The Slevkas dont have AC either (because Nomis
ather has principles about air-conditioning, not because
hes cheap), but next to Casa DAngelo, its like going
rom a war zone to a twenty-star holiday resort.
Went to my pottery class this morning, but it was too hot
or our usual Saturday tennis match. We all agreed wed
rather walk to Canada on stilts. So Nomi and I decided to
go into town. The stores are all air-conditioned, o course.
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Mom said, Why dont you take Zelda with you? (She has
to ask?) Zelda wanted to know i we were going to talkabout boys all aternoon. I said no, we were going to be
discussing the international monetary crisis. She threw
a purple plastic astrodon at me and put on her sandals.
The git stores selling ans! Not the kind you plug in. The
old-ashioned kind you ap back and orth in ront o
your ace. Mrs. Gorrie bought a case when the frst Zorro
movie came out. She thought the movie would start a
trend. Only it didnt. Its not exactly like having AC or
even an electric an, but you can carry it around with you
and at least it moves the air around. So psychologically it
makes you eel better. Mrs. Gorrie says it just proves there
really is a good side to everything, even global warming,
because now the ans are selling aster than water in a
drought. Nomi and I both got one. I wouldve bought
one or Zelda, but she tried mine and right away hit her-
sel in the eye with it, so I didnt bother.
Went to Maggies tonight or a barbecue. Her mother says
its too hot to cook in the house. (Maggie says Mrs. Pryce
is araid the heats going to make the microwave explode.)
Sara and Kruger had a band rehearsal, so it was the rest
o the Mob, including Grady. Mr. Pryce was in charge, as
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The new alarm was going o when we got back to Nomis.
Mr. Janoski next door was sitting on his ront porch inhis bathrobe and pajamas, looking like he was having a
really long, sleepless night. (Mr. Js a big man who prob-
ably wouldve been a bull i he wasnt a human, but his
pajamas are pink!) We started running to the house as
soon as we saw him. Nomi unlocked the door and turned
o the alarm. Mr. Janoski said next time it happens hes
breaking in and ripping it out with his bare hands. Nomi
thinks he means it. He used to be in the Marines.
Woken up by the alarm. And Mr. Janoski roaring,That does it! Nomi fgures the vibration o the newspaper
hitting the porch mustve set it o. She leaped out o bed
like a gazelle being chased by a lion and turned it o beore
Mr. Janoski got out o his ront door. Let it o and escaped
to the tranquility and calm that is Sunia Kreples yoga class,
even though Sunia doesnt have so much as a an in the
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new studio because she says the sound would break the
transcendental ow o energy (and AC would shatter itcompletely). But like Nomi said, its always hot in India,
where theyve been doing yoga or hundreds o years, and
it hasnt killed them, so what the heck. Watched sweat drip
o me in Downward Dog, but at least it was tranquil.
On the way home, Nomi and I went over to Grans, since
we were nearby. Everybody jokes about old ladies need-
ing help to open the ketchup and change a lightbulb,
but my grans not that kind o old lady. Shes the kind
who wants you to help her put up shelves or paint the
living room. She can open her own ketchup. Shed just
fnished fxing that wonky step by the back door when
we got there. Gran loved the ans. She wants one. She
said it was about time we got something you dont have
to plug in or charge. Gran hates cell phones and com-
puters and all that stu. She wont even have an answer-
ing machine. She doesnt want to be in touch with people
24/7. She likes alone time. She says imagine i Romeo
and Juliet had had cell phones. No more tragic love story.
Just, Dont do it. Im on my way.
The parents were arguing when I got home. Because the
washing machine broke again. My mother wants to buy
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a new one. My ather says he can fx the one we have. But
the fght wasnt about that. The fght was about all theother things my athers going to fx. Youre still fxing
Zeldas stroller and shes almost ten! shouted my mother.
Exactly! Dad shouted back. She doesnt need it any
more! Let them to it and went next door to help Louie
edit his video o the barbecue beore my mom remem-
bered about the deck. Dads been building that or almost
as long as hes been fxing Zeldas stroller.
Dreamed I was sleeping in hell. I kept beggingthe devil to turn on the AC. I would have cried, but Id
used up all the water in my body on sweat. The devil
wasnt moved by my pleas. (He sounded a lot like Gus
when he laughed.) He said AC was bad or the envi-
ronment. I God wanted you to have air-conditioning,
youd have a unit attached to the top o your head,
said the devil. (He sounded just like my dad.) Woke up
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to screaming and shouting. I I ever wake up and the
house is quiet, I wont know where I am. Dragged mylimp, wet body into the kitchen to see what was going
on. My parents were having an argument about how to
boil water. Got a glass o juice and went to sit on the
patio. Texted Nomi to see i she wanted to go to the
beach. Then Cristina called to see what we were doing.
I said Nomi and I fgured the only way we could avoid
heatstroke was to spend the day in the supermarket or
on the beach, so we were going to the beach because we
couldnt wear our new swimsuits in the supermarket.
Cristina said shed come, too. I said she must be nuts.
Not only does her house have AC, it has a real swim-
ming pool. Cristina said it would be nuts not to come
to the beach. Her sister and her riends have taken over
the pool like oot ungus. Shed much rather hang out
with Nomi and me. And who wouldnt? Theres been
no ofcial policy statement, but the Mob avoids the
Palacios place i Lenoras around. I know Gus can be a
bigger pain in the butt than being injected with a horse
needle, but next to Lenora Palacio, shes Gods Git to
Sisterhood. You have to try to imagine what that means.
Its like saying Gus is a very small snowake and Lenora
is Alaska. But I still bet Cristina wouldve stayed in the
chill cabinet that is Casa Palacio i her boyriend wasnt
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two hundred miles away teaching six-year-olds how to
toast marshmallows.
Zelda reused to go to camp today, so my mother made
me take her with us to the beach. (In this amily, Gus
got the looks, Zelda got the personality disorder, and
I got taken advantage o.) Zelda, naturally, decided to
be invisible. Which meant she wore a white robe that
reaches her eet (it used to be Guss, but she disowned it
ater Louie videoed her climbing in the kitchen window
in it) and the enormous sombrero with MEICO across
the ront that Gran brought back rom her cruise to Can-
cn. Which meant Zelda was about as invisible as a herd
o elephants with bells and lights on. It was excruci-
ating being seen with her. (Heads turned like windmills
in a gale.) So, o course, the beach was really packed.
(There are obviously a lot more people who dont have
AC or pools than I thought.) A couple o people wanted
to know what was up with the sombrero and the ans.
They thought we were in some kind o ad or something.
Nomi told them we were in the video or a new band
called Keep Cool, and they started looking around or
the flm crew. We let Zelda on the blanket and went or
a swim (shes araid o water unless its in a container).
We fgured she wasnt going anywhere, since the only
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thing she could see was her eet. When we got back to
the blanket, she was gone. Her robe was in the sand likea puddle, and the sombrero was on top o it. Nomi said
it was like when the wicked witch melts in The Wizard
of Oz. Melting is the one thing I dont worry about with
Zelda. Cristina was araid someone had taken her. Id
like to see them try. Lets not orget the time she nearly
got Mom arrested at the mall because she didnt want to
leave and Mom had to drag her to the car, screaming like
she was being murdered. And then she told the security
guards that shed never seen my mother beore in her
lie. Anyway, we fnally ound her at the snack bar get-
ting an ice pop. Jaxs dad had given him the aternoon
o, so he showed up with a cooler bag ull o soda and
a resh outlook. He and Zelda built a sand space station
while Nomi, Cristina, and I sat under the umbrella play-
ing cards. Zelda let Jax wear the sombrero. With her in
the white robe and Jax in the hat, it was like Star Wars
meets Viva Zapata!
Tonight my ather decided to work on the deck, but he
couldnt fnd his level. My mother said it was wherever
hed let it last. Like everything else he cant fnd. He said
it wasnt. He wanted to know how hes expected to fn-
ish the deck when shes constantly moving his tools. My
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mother said shes not the only person who lives in our
house besides him. In case he hadnt noticed.
Went back to Louies to work on the editing. Who
wouldve guessed when Louies dad gave him his old
camera to ool around with when he was nine that it
would become an obsession? Or that hed be so good
at it? Really. There are actually people all over the world
who wait or his postings. Now his ather says hes araid
to go or the paper in his pajamas in case he winds up in
one o Louies videos looking like an escaped patient. Mr.
Masiado thinks he created a monster. He wont be the
only one. Wait till Mr. Pryce fnds out hes on YouTube.
Work today. It was really busy, so there was no time orEly to give me a juggling lesson. All my avorites came by.
Broccoli Man. Blue Eye-Shadow Lady. Green Pickup Guy.
The Countess. Farmer John thinks were so busy because
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were witnessing a cultural revolution. He says nowadays
olks want their vegetables to come out o the earth, notout o plastic. Ely says thats not why were busy. Were
busy because were on the beach road and olks dont
want to drive all the way to the supermarket i they dont
have to. Especially when theyre sandy, damp, and smell
like seaweed. All I know is that my an got a lot o posi-
tive comments rom the buyers o ground-grown vegeta-
bles. Except or Broccoli Man, who wouldnt get out o
his car until I put it away. But all the more normal people
said that it was both practical and elegant. The Countess
said the ladies at court always had ans. Blue Eye-Shadow
Lady said shed always wanted a an but she didnt know
where to get one (so I told her). Even Green Pickup Guy
said he thought it was very elegant. He said I made him
think o the movie Gone with the Wind. Ely wanted to
know which part: when they burn down Atlanta? He said
he fgured itd be a lot more elegant i I was wearing a
long, rued dress and a hibiscus in my hair. Not shorts,
a LOBSTER LILLYS T-shirt, and a baseball cap.
Did some more editing with Louie tonight. Were calling
the new video Flame Broiled and the background musics
the really old Burger King Hold the pickles, hold the
lettuce jingle. When we got to the part where Jax and
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I threw the wading pool over Mr. Pryce, I fnally under-
stood what people mean when they say I thought Id dielaughing. We both nearly stopped breathing.
Maggie showed Grady some o Louies videos. Grady
already knew the one Louie made o his dogs Hitchcock
and Scorsese arguing over who was going to sit in Mr.
Masiados chair (over 900,000 hits on YouTube). Hes
watched it fve times, and he always laughs out loud. He
thinks Louies a genius. Louies smart, but Im not so sure
about the genius part. He cant even derost, let alone
cook. When his parents went away or that weekend in
May, he ate nothing but cereal or three days. And lets not
orget that Im the one who did Hitchcocks voice, totally
ad lib (and helped with the editing).
When I got home, the kitchen looked like wed been
robbed. All the cabinets were open, and there was stu all
over the counters. Only it wasnt burglars. Mom was out,
and Dad was looking or the iced-tea mix. Zelda was on
the oor, wailing like she was being torn apart by tyran-
nosaurs (she wanted iced tea). Mrs. Claws was stuck in a
bag o Cheez Doodles all you could see o her was her
butt and her tail, and when I dragged her out, she was
all dusty and orange. Dad was standing in the middle o
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the wreckage, looking distraught. I didnt have the heart
to tell him that Mom makes iced tea rom scratch. Wentto my room. Was talking to Nomi when the quiet o the
night was shattered by hysterical laughter. My mother
was home. I wonder i my parents ever had a romantic
relationship. It seems unlikely. Which could explain why
Gus has never ound anyone she likes or more than a ew
weeks and I cant even get a date.
For a joke, I went to work in the dress Gus boughtwhen she was maid o honor at our cousins wedding.
Its pink and long and makes me think o birthday cakes
and koi ponds (birthday cakes because its pink and rilly,
and koi ponds because thats what Gus pushed the best
man into when he made a pass at her). Ely thought the
dress was hilarious. Ive never seen him laugh so much.
Some people stopped just because they saw me bagging
potatoes in my prom-queen dress and uttering my an
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Nomi says i she wasnt going out with Jax, she thinksshed be interested in Ely. I said, Ely who? She wanted
to know how many Elys I know, exactly. I said do you
mean Ely Weimer? From the arm? Hes nearly seven eet
tall and he plays the ukulele (its a sight). Though he is
an excellent juggler. She said she thought I liked him. I
said I do like him. Elys great. He brings laughter to the
world o ruit and vegetables. Selling tomatoes wouldnt
be the same without him. But I never think o him like
that. You know, like hes a boy. Not one I might want to
kiss or share a ork with or anything. Nomi said, Well, I
do. I was astounded. I thought she was so into Jax that
she never looked at other boys. (Or i she did, they might
as well be turnips.) Nomi went all Nomi, slapping her
orehead and moaning. She said she didnt realize that
because shes going out with Jax she was supposed to
go around with a blindold on and never think that any
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Ive noticed quite a ew women carrying ans. Really.Nomi says that means were trendsetters. How awesome
is that? Usually I dont even know theres a trend going on
till its just about over. Will being a trendsetter make me
more attractive to boys, or less? I think it could make me
more attractive to some boys the cutting-edge, frst-to-
have-a-tattoo-or-a-piercing type and less attractive to
others the regular kind my parents would approve o.
But since Im not attractive to anyone, I guess it doesnt
really make any dierence. Nonetheless, I do think Mrs.
Gorrie should give us commission.
One o Lenoras riends threw the cat into the Palacios
pool to see i it could swim. (It could swim, but it wasnt
happy about it.) Mrs. Palacio loves that cat. She always
says its the only member o the amily who never gives
her a hard time. (Which is true, rom what Ive seen.)
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Anyway, eyewitnesses (Cristina and her cousin) say that
when she heard the howls, Mrs. P came charging out othe house like cavalry charging out o a ort in an old
Western. Only not on a horse, but on our-inch heels.
She went straight into the pool too. Mrs. P and Dolittle
were both so traumatized by this experience that Lenora
and her riends are banned rom the pool until urther
notice. So tonight we all went over there to hang out. I
think Louie was hoping Mrs. Palacio and Dolittle would
all in again, because he brought his camera, but i he
thought he was going to make a series o summer disas-
ters, he was out o luck. Dolittles not allowed anywhere
near the pool without his new lie jacket on. Its bright
pink. He looks like a chunk o bubblegum with eet. Mrs.
P admired our ans. She said they reminded her o Old
Mexico. I said Id tell Mrs. Gorrie. Itll make her year.
Cristina insisted that we all act like we were having the
best time, since swimming pools were invented so her
sister would be jealous. So we laughed and shrieked and
splashed around like we were advertising un. Until Mr.
Palacio (who has the personality o a dictator troll) came
out hufng and pufng and told us to simmer down or
none o us were going to be allowed near the pool until
they hold the Winter Olympics on the Sahara. Turned
out that Lenora wasnt even home. O course.
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Zelda put all her dinosaurs in the washing machinethis morning (thats 176, i youre counting). She ooded
the kitchen. Mom asked her why she did that. Zelda said
because they were dirty. And ater everything was mopped
up and Mom got all the dinosaurs out, there was one sod-
den, mutilated thing let at the bottom o the machine.
That would be my an. Zelda washed my Scarlett OHara
an. She said she washed it because it was dirty, too. I
said it was not dirty. How could it be? Ive only had it a
ew days. She said it was ater it ell in the toilet. So this is
my lie: a teenage old maid who sleeps in the pantry and
cant even call a paper an her own. I know it could be a
lot worse. But it could also be a lot better.
Louies parents are going to be married orty years in
August. I started working on a set o mugs or them
today. Im making them with lids because Mr. Masiado
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always complains that i he leaves his coee or two
minutes, its ull o dog hairs, and Mrs. Masiado alwayscomplains that by the time she gets to drink her coee,
its cold. Forty years! It boggles the mind. Youd think
theyd have run out o things to say to each other by now.
Or that theyd get tired o looking at each other the way
you get tired o having cornakes or breakast every
day. But they havent and theyre not. Theyre, like, the
poster couple or True Love (even i they look more like
the poster couple or Elastic Waistbands). Mr. Masiado
says Louie was an aterthought. As in, Ater Loretta and I
were happily married or twenty-three years, we thought
that what we needed was Louie to drive us nuts. (This
is the one drawback I can see to being an only child. All
the responsibility or making your parents happy lands
on YOU. Whereas I can make my parents happy by doing
nothing. And its no big deal i I disappoint them, because
there are three o us, so theyre used to it.) Louies present
to his olks is going to be a movie o them rom their wed-
ding day till now. (Which means therell be twenty-three
years o them smiling and seventeen o them looking like
theyre waiting or the boiler to blow up.) August is still a
way o, but its been in the preparation stages or months.
(Just having their home movies digitized took longer than
the lie cycle o a tomato.) Louies really well organized or
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someone whos so eccentric. Now hes moving on to the
production stage. Hes got a lot o new ootage that hesbeen secretly taking since January that hes going to mix
in with the other thirty-nine and a hal years o recorded
amily history. So since Nomi was out with Jax, Maggie
was out with Grady, Sara had band practice, and Cristina
was waiting or Max to call, I went over tonight to help
him work on it. Its going to be really, really good. It has
everything: humor, passion, drama, pathos, dogs and
Mr. and Mrs. Masiado dressed up or a masquerade party
as Marge and Homer Simpson. Maybe Louie is a genius.
I had this really good idea while Louie and I were watch-
ing a clip o Mr. and Mrs. Masiado learning to tango (she
kept leading him into stationary objects and then he
dropped her, but they both kept right on laughing). I
by the time Louie and I are orty neither o us has ound
our soul mate, I think we should marry each other. There
wouldnt be any sex or anything, just companionship
and someone else to pay hal the bills. It makes sense.
Weve known each other orever. We really, really like
each other. We make each other laugh. We have a gazil-
lion things in common. And theres no one I trust more.
Not even the DAngelos. Maybe I should say especially not
the DAngelos. Lets not orget the time we went camping
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and I went to the bathroom and when I came back theyd
all locked themselves in the car because they saw a bear.(You notice how nobodys frst instinct was to warn me!)
But I know that i I was in danger, Louie would go to the
wall or me, just like I would or him.
Maybe I spoke too soon when I said this summerwas going to be about as special as toast. Because even
though I can hardly believe it I HAVE A DATE! Thats
right, ladies and gentlemen. I, Hildy DAngelo, the girl
most likely never to be kissed, have a date. A REAL
DATE! Well, I almost have a date. I mean, Im going to
have a date. And not just, you know, SOMEDAY. As soon
as he calls and asks me out ofcially. Would you like to go to
a movie, Hildy? And maybe afterward we could grab a burger
or something. . . .And I will act surprised and say, Oh, that
sounds great Good grie! I cant remember his name!
How can I not remember his name? Oh, thank you
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whatever your name is that sounds great. I cant wait!Any-
way, Im too excited to say more about it now. I have tocall Nomi and fnd out what his name is. I just wanted
to put it in writing. Not because I think Im going to or-
get again. No worries there. But in case it winds up hav-
ing historical signifcance. You know, so i we all in love
and get married and have sixteen children, I can say, See?
Thats what I wrote the day we met! How romantic is that?
Nomi says his names Connor. Only were not sure ithats his frst name or his last name. Nomi said maybe its
both. Connor Connor. I said right, and he has a brother
called Johnner. Nomi said, You can never marry this guy,
Hildy. Think about what youd have to call your children.
Donna and Bonner and maybe even Zonner. Itll sound
like you have a amily o reindeer. We couldnt stop
laughing.
* * *
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So heres what happened. Nomi, Maggie, Sara, Cristina,
and I all went to the mall this aternoon to escape theheat. We were having an excellent time like we always
do. I I have to go shopping with my amily, its about as
much un as shaving under your arms with a dull razor.
And no matter how long it really takes, it eels like its
at least a day. (A very long day.) But when Im with my
riends, hours vanish like bubbles. Anyway, ater wed
been in every store we like at least once, we stopped at
our avorite coee bar or a drink. Cristina had to go back
to where shed bought a skirt because shed changed her
mind about the color again, and Maggie lost an eyelash
somewhere and had to do repairs, and Sara went with
Maggie so she could check on the blister rom her new
shoes without grossing everybody out, so I went up to
order while Nomi stayed with our stu. The guy behind
the counter was new. He smiled. I smiled. (I have a nor-
mal smile, but hes got a smile that makes you think
youve never really seen anybody smile beore. It made
me eel like I was a glass o water and somebody dropped
two Alka-Seltzers in me.) He said, What can I get you?
I said, Three iced lattes, an iced mint tea, and a lemon-
ade. He said, Coming right up. And then he winked,
and my heart stopped or a couple o beats. While he was
getting our drinks, he said it looked like wed been doing
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a lot o shopping, and I said, Well, you know, thats why
we came to the mall that and the air-conditioning.And he laughed. I guess because he laughed at my joke,
I got really brave and said Id never seen him at Ca Ol!
beore. He said that was because hed only just started.
AND THEN he said, I wouldve started sooner i I knew
you came here. It was a good thing I wasnt holding our
drinks when he said that, or they wouldve been all over
the oor. And then he pointed to his shirt and I guess
he said, My names Connor, and I said, Im Hildy.
He wanted to know i I came to Ca Ol! a lot. I said,
Not as oten as you do. And he laughed again. When
I got back to the table, Nomi was looking at me like Id
ound hidden treasure and she was waiting or me to tell
her where it is. I said, What? She started laughing. She
said, Excuse me, Hildegard, but were my big brown
eyes deceiving me or did I see youirting? I said her big
brown eyes were deceiving her. I mean, have we met? I
dont even know how to irt. In my amily, Gus got all the
irting genes. Nomi said, Well, he sure looked like he
was irting. I said he was just being riendly. You know,
like servers are supposed to be. I mean, good grie, every-
body knows that. So they get you to buy more, because
you think theyre so nice and pally. Oh, right. Nomi did
her slapping-her-orehead thing. I guess its true what
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they say about additives in our ood. I mustve been hal-
lucinating all that smiling and head bobbing and I-think-youre-hot body language because I eat so much junk.
And then she blew her straw wrapper at me. But all the
while we were having our drinks, I kept kind o glancing
over at him. Casually. Quickly. Like my eyes just hap-
pened to wander to him by accident. Maggie said, That
cute barista keeps looking over here. Nomi made this
innocent-little-me ace. Ooh . . . I wonder who he could
be looking at? Cristina peered over the tops o her glasses,
Did I miss something? Sara glanced rom me to Nomi
and back again and said, Whats going on? I said they
didnt miss anything, and nothing was going on. I thought
I sounded pretty convincing. Ignore Nomi. Shes been
eating too much processed ood. Shes delusional. Nomi
rolled her eyes like she was in some Broadway play. (She
can be so melodramatic sometimes. She really should be
in my amily instead o me.) Look at me! Im delusional!
She said this really loud. You know, so everyone out in
the parking lot could hear her. Heads turned. It wouldve
been OK with me i the oor had opened up under my
chair right then and Id allen through. But theres never
a trapdoor around when you really need one. I told them
to stop laughing so much or hed think we were talk-
ing about him. Maggie said, We are talking about him.
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Cristina pointed at me. Look at you! Something is going
on! Youre blushing! My ace elt like Id been sitting onthe beach all day without any sunblock. I said I thought
we should be going and pushed back my chair. Youre
acting like schoolgirls. Sara said, Um, duh, Hildy. Dont
look now, but we are schoolgirls. I said not little ones, we
arent. Nomi said, I dont think Mr. Coee thinks youre a
little girl. She was practically purring. They were all still
laughing and teasing me as we started down the plaza.
Then all o a sudden somebody called my name. Hey!
Hildy! I turned around automatically. He was standing
in the doorway o Ca Ol!, waving. Hildy! You orgot
something. I fgured I mustve dropped something when
I was paying. Or eeing. Im always doing that. Usually
disgusting used Kleenex or old wrappers. I ignored the
sniggers o my childish riends and went back. What? I
asked. What did I orget? And he said: YOU FORGOT
TO GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER! Just like that. It
was the most romantic thing thats ever happened to me.
Like I was in a movie. (But not one o Louies!) Im not
an expert or anything Ive only had the two and a hal
dates that nobody remembers (and the hal doesnt even
count) but usually when a boy wants to ask you out,
he kind o shues around and then blurts out something
awesomely sophisticated like, You want to do something
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Friday night? I think it must be a sign o maturity that
Connor could say something so clever.
No call. No message. I didnt really have anything plannedor today, so I spent most o the morning and aternoon
just hanging around, kind o waiting. It was like waiting to
speak in ront o the class. (Which to me is a lot like wait-
ing or your turn to be hanged.) You have to pretend to
be listening, but all you can really think about is when its
going to be your turn. The dierence is that when I have
to speak in ront o the class or be executed Im ner-
vous and terrifed, and today I was nervous and excited.
I know Im being ridiculous. Even I know that Ill call
you doesnt mean a boys going to call the minute he gets
home. Its not a promise. (Nomi says that most o the time
its more like a threat.) But I still kept checking my phone
every ten minutes. I even called mysel rom the landline
to make sure it was working. (It was.)
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* * *
Was relieved that I had something to do tonight. Thewhole Mob went to play beach volleyball and then or
pizza. Cristina acted all surprised that I showed up. She
said she thought Id want to stay home and wait or Mr.
Coee to call. I explained that the whole point o a cell
phone is that you take it with you so you dont have
to spend hal your lie sitting by the telephone waiting
or a call the way people used to. Thats why they were
invented. To liberate us. Maggie said yeah, but I wasnt
going to hear my phone when I was charging through the
sand to hit the ball, was I? Reminded her that I do have
voice mail. Hes allowed to leave a message. And besides,
I said, he can always call back, cant he? Cristina said,
Dig you, Ms. Cucumber. Youre getting the hang o this
dating thing pretty ast. Maggie said she didnt see how
he could call back i hed never called in the frst place.
She thinks shes unny. Nomi said I shouldnt worry; its
only been one day. Worry ater a week. I said I wasnt
worried Connor wouldnt call. Why would he say hes
going to call i he isnt? Its not like I made him say hed
call. It was his idea. I you have the idea to do something,
why wouldnt you do it? Sara said well, yeah. That makes
sense. But personal experience suggests that it doesnt
mean thats how it works. Kruger, who can remember
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any melody ater hearing it once, never remembers when
hes supposed to call her. Or maybe Connor changedhis mind. Its been known to happen. So that all made
me eel way better. I was jittery today because I didnt
know when Connor would call, not because I didnt think
he would. But the girls got me so worried that I kind o
lost concentration and collided with Kruger. He thinks I
broke his nose. Thank God it wasnt his hand.
No messages. Morale losing altitude. Nomi said maybe
Connor lost my number. I reminded her that he wrote it
on his hand, so its not like he was going to throw it out by
accident or anything. She said that maybe he accidentally
washed it o. They have all those signs in the bathroom:
EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS. She says shes sure people
accidentally wash o numbers they wanted to keep all
the time. More oten than youd think. Which means that
Ill have to go back to Ca Ol! as soon as I can. But what
i Nomis wrong and that isnt what happened? What i he
just changed his mind? Like Sara said. Then I can never
go back to Ca Ol! Not even i every other coee bar in
the county shuts down. This stu could really make you
crazy. My dad was actually working on the deck when I
got home, so I gave him a hand just to take my mind o
my phone or a while. I hammered his fnger.
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One or Two Things I Learned About
LoveDyan Sheldon
www.candlewick.com
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