November 21, 2013

EDDIE IZZARD BACK IN VICTORIAPAGE 12

FORCE OF NATURE

EDDIE IZZARD BACK IN VICTORIA

FORCE OF NATURETHE UNIVERSITY OF VICTORIA’S INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER •NOVEMBER 21, 2013 • VOLUME 66 • ISSUE 15 • MARTLET.CA

A NEW CITY LANDMARK WITH A STORIED PASTPAGE 3

UVSS DIRECTOR SEEKS BETTER EVENTS BUDGETPAGE 9

BECOME A MORE POWERFUL YOUPAGE 18

TEA IS A GATEWAY DRUG: MY DESCENT INTO RUINPAGE 19

DAYS OF

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UVIC VIKES UPDATE // PRESENTED BY

VIKES BASKETBALL TEAMS BOAST STRONG INTERNATIONAL FLAVOUR

VICTORIA - The Vikes basketball teams will wrap up the fall half of their season hosting Manitoba and

Winnipeg on Nov. 22-23. The Friday match-ups will also bring back the annual Days of Thunder.

This year the Vikes men’s team has boasted a splash of American �avour boasting �fth-year forward Terrell Evans, of Las Vegas, Nev., third-year transfers Marcus Tibbs, from Seattle, Wash., and Derek Porter, of Kennewick, Wash. Evans has been the scoring engine of the Vikes team for the past two seasons. In 2012-13 the Canada West All-Star led in scoring for 14 of 24 games and helped the Vikes to their �rst appearance at the CIS Final 8 since 2006. In his �rst year at UVic, Tibbs had already garnered a starting spot in the point guard role and was at top-3 scorer in six pre-season games this year. In high school Tibbs guided Decatur to three state tournaments before making a few hops on route to transfering to UVic. As for Porter, who transfered from Pierce College, the six-foot-six post led the Raiders in 2012-13 to �nish 5th in the West of the Northwest Athletic Associations of Community Colleges. The trio of Vikes are sure to boost the No. 4-ranked Vikes squad who already bolster a line up of standouts including fourth-year post Chris McLaughlin and returnees Reiner Theil, Kyle Peterson and John Woldu.

As for the women, the Vikes have relied heavily on the local talents of Cassandra Goodis, Jessica Renfrew, Shaylyn Crisp, Jenny Lewis and Jenna Bugiardini, all products of B.C. In 2011, the Vikes locked up Australia-raised Mikaela Turik. The six-foot-eleven post was a

key player for her high school, St. Luke’s, in Australia and now brings that experience to Victoria. Turik is also a dual citizen of Canada and Australia.

For more rosters, schedules, scores and more visit:

GOVIKESGO.COM

@UVicVikes #govikesgo

Stay Social.

www.felicitas.ca

NEWS Happy Multiculturalism Week, B.C.

November 21, 2013 MARTLET • NEWS 3

Some conditions apply. See pacificcoastal.com for details

ANGEL MANGUERRA

Driving by the Victoria Harbour, from the picturesque Vic West commu-nity and into downtown Victoria, it is almost impossible to miss the land-mark Johnson Street Bridge with its rusted, sky-blue paint and overhang-ing counterweight block. If all goes according to plan in the replacement project, a new Johnson Street Bridge will open to the public in late 2015. The replacement bridge, connecting the neighbourhood of Vic West to downtown Victoria, is being built next to the original one. Installation of the new bridge’s first foundation pieces started on Oct. 30. Foundation instal-lation is anticipated to continue until February 2014. The original bridge will remain accessible until the new one is completed.

According to City of Victoria plans,

the new Johnson Street Bridge will include “on-road bike lanes, a multi-use trail, (and) a pedestrian pathway.” It will aim to improve accessibility for all users, including those using mobil-ity aids. The new bridge will also have a built-in plaza with a view to the harbour. It will include an “improved navigation channel for marine ves-sels,” and will be built to the highest standards of bridge-building code in Canada. It is supposed to withstand an 8.5-magnitude earthquake, fulfill-ing Lifeline seismic building standards. An art piece installation and a public green space is also planned to be built around the bridge area.

The structure is designed as a bascule bridge with a built-in bascule pier (the part of the bridge that opens to let large marine vessels pass). The large steel pipe foundation installed will become a part of the 16 pipes forming the foundation

of the bascule pier. When complete, says the City, the new Johnson Street Bridge will be the “largest single-leaf bascule bridge in Canada, and one of the largest in the world.”

The building of the bridge has been contracted to PCL Constructors Westcoast, a branch of the construc-tion company PCL Constructors, Inc. They have made the decision to have the bascule leaf part of the bridge fabricated by ZTSS (Jiangsu Zhongtai Bridge Steel Structure Co.), a leading contractor of steel structure projects based in the Jiangsu province of China. Other supplies, such as concrete, will be sourced locally from Vancouver Island, and local firms will carry out subcontracting jobs. PCL Constructors will also be recruiting for trade posi-tions on the island. The Canadian engineering firm MMM Group was contracted as well to “provide services

for design and project management of the work through to completion.”

In order to work in the ideas of citizens, a Citizen Advisory Panel was formed in February 2010. Meant to represent the diverse community of the area, the members of the panel assist City staff in making decisions and developing plans.

On Nov. 20, 2010, citizens of Victoria voted in a referendum to approve the borrowing of $49.2-million for the replacement bridge. 10 020 people (60.6 per cent) voted “Yes” to the borrowing. This was after the City, along with the Advisory Panel, stud-ied whether to build a replacement bridge or rehabilitate the existing one. However, on johnsonstreetbridge.org, a website dedicated to discuss-ing independent information about opinions on the bridge, people still object to building a new bridge. Some

citizens hold a strong conviction that the current “Blue Bridge,” as it is ami-ably nicknamed, should be refurbished to maintain it as a city historical icon and as an attractive street-art feature.

Supporters and planners of the new bridge hope it will be an incred-ible new sight downtown, and its construction will also provide large economic benefits for the surround-ing communities. According to the Urban Development Institute (UDI), the bridge will encourage opportuni-ties worth up to $500 million in the downtown and Vic West area. The Federation of Canadian Municipalities estimates the creation of 900 short-term jobs with this project.

Just as the original bridge has become a landmark in the city, the future Johnson Street Bridge is planned to be a sight-to-see and a proud new icon of Victoria.

A new downtown icon: the Johnson Street Bridge

ANGEL MANGUERRAThe existing “Blue Bridge,” opened in 1924, conveys traffic past construction of its replacement, to open late 2015.

4 NEWS • MARTLET November 21, 2013

MELISSA WONG

On Nov. 4 in the Medical Sciences Building at UVic, guests had an oppor-tunity to meet local doctor Saren Azer, founder of the International Society for Peace and Human Rights (ISPHR). Introduced by his friend and colleague Julie Angus, a UVic alumna who has family in Syria, Dr. Azer was present to speak about his “Medical Hope for Syria” campaign. The cam-paign has been put in place to bring medical supplies to Syrian refugees who had to leave their country due to an unexpected war.

With the current militant crisis hap-pening in Syria, millions of Syrian citizens have been left with no choice but to seek safety in neighbouring countries, only to fi nd themselves either banned from entry or in camps with no ability to support their basic human needs. Countries around the world that are able to provide support are offering little, with the Canadian government contributing only 10 spots for refugees, despite estimates that four million Syrians have already been internally displaced.

Working as a humanitarian since his

own experience as a refugee in 1994, Azer launched the “Medical Hope for Syria” campaign in 2013, after volun-teering at the Domiz Refugee Camp in Northern Iraq. According to Azar, the Domiz Refugee Camp currently has 80 000 occupants—completely overriding the original capacity of the camp, which was never intended to handle that many people, and is now lacking the money and facilities to continue operating. On a personal note, Azer spoke of his own journey as a refugee from Syria, and com-mented on how something as simple as receiving a pair of shoes was one of the happiest moments of his life. Indeed, it is striking how something many Canadians take for granted every day—shoes, $5 spent on a latté, washroom facilities—can mean the difference between life and death for a refugee.

With money raised from the “Medical Hope for Syria” cam-paign, ISPHR has already been able to send 150 Physician Travel Packs (PTPs)—suitcase-sized boxes with medical supplies for up to 600 treat-ments (enough to save 60 lives)—to the Domiz Refugee Camp. ISPHR

has been fortunate to have the sup-port of the not-for-profi t relief and development agency, Health Partners International of Canada (HPIC), with securing medical supplies from phar-maceutical companies for as low as six per cent of the real cost. Guests of Azer’s lecture learned that, because of HPIC’s ability to leverage costs and the fact that humanitarians volun-teering with ISPHR must pay for their own travel and supplies, Canadian donations can make an exponential difference to the refugee situation.

“Believe and acknowledge, not just in words and thoughts, but in your hearts and actions,” says Azer. “Do not underestimate a contribution, no matter how small it is.”

The UVic Student Ambassadors are proud to support the “Medical Hope for Syria” campaign as their global service project for 2013, put-ting $575 towards the purchase of a PTP. For more information on donat-ing or volunteering for the cause, go to the project’s website (www.peace-andhumanrights.org), or contact Lynn Foster, ISPHR secretary, at [email protected].

Local doctor campaigns for medical aid in Syrian refugee crisisRefugee camps in need of medical supplies to support increasing number of occupants

PROVIDEDSyrian refugee camp in Northern Iraq, April 2012


Rob Ford’s personal proclivities and preferences are deserving of, at most, a minor back-page editorial comment from a community paper in Toronto. After all, wasn’t it Pierre Trudeau over four decades ago who proclaimed that “the Government has no business in the bedrooms of the nation”? By extension, the elec-torate has no business, and frankly is una�ected by, the personal drug habits of Mayor Rob Ford. There are no exceptions to this rule, at least not if we would like to live in a Enlightenment-based society that values free will and choice.After all, how many of us would like to have our personal choices examined under a microscope? Legality is not an indicator of relative moral value. There is no moral superiority from rendering alcohol manufacture, distribu-tion and consumption legal while simultaneously rendering mari-juana manufacture, distribution and consumption illegal; in fact, if we were to perform a social cost-benefit analysis, the roles of alcohol and marijuana in our society would be reversed. In fact, the social consequences from all illicit drug consumption pales in comparison to the social consequences stem-ming from second-hand cigarette smoke alone; and very thorough research has been conducted on these matters by none other than the RAND Corporation (a division

of the Pentagon).The only thing that matters, and specifically for Torontonians, is what sort of advocacy Rob Ford participates in and what policies he promotes. That is it.And quite frankly, there is more than enough to write home about with respect to his policy positions, which neglect the majority of his constituents; the working class and working poor (not to mention the poor).Focusing on his personal procliv-ities is not only a complete waste of everyone’s time, but is insulting to those who the “fourth estate” ought to represent; namely the major-ity of Toronto’s (and the World’s) population – the working class and the working poor (not to mention the poor).This continued fixation on gutter politics, tabloid journalism and negative ad campaigns, is ap-pealing for one reason; it draws a large audience to the mainstream media’s clients. And this is very revealing; the mainstream media sells a product — its audience — to other for-profit corporations — advertisers. As a result, what would one expect from the mainstream media other than the drivel (i.e. Rob Ford’s personal life) and propa-ganda (i.e. articles that will not be contrary to the interests of their clients) they produce.

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AT ITS VERY BEST

JANINE CROCKETT

The Victoria Genealogical Society (VGS) recently received a donation of over 100 000 names gathered from 46 cemeteries located on southern Vancouver Island and the Gulf Islands. Local genealogist Judy Wasylenko made the donation to the VGS as a new addition to their collection of genealogical material, which is availa-ble to the public through the society’s resource centre or website.

The VGS, founded in 1978 and cur-rently consisting of 300 members, offers numerous services through its volunteer-run programs. VGS Project Director Merv Scott says, “Through our library we can help people that are researching their family tree, whether they live in Victoria or not. Another part is what we call one-on-one assis-tance, where we can help a person who needs a bit of one-on-one train-ing on what genealogical resources are out there, and of course if they want us to do research for them, we can do that for a modest fee. We do seminars in retirement homes, we rein-troduce genealogy to senior citizens, and we provide that free.”

Wasylenko’s donation had been compiled through decades of research, which she began in the ’80s while living in Medicine Hat, Alberta. Wasylenko says searching for ancestry in Canada was not why she began her research. “I am from the Netherlands, so it wasn’t even that I was researching my own family. I really can’t say how

it came about, but just, you know, it’s one of those things. It was just some-thing that you can do by yourself whenever you feel like it, and it just got to be so interesting.”

“When Judy came to us and said ‘I have this, would you be interested,’ we jumped at it, because we knew if we could find some way of promot-ing it and getting it out there on the Internet, we might be able to help someone do their research,” Scott says. “So it was just wonderful that she brought it to us, but, of course, you have to be able to have the volunteers that can make use of it. So we’re lucky enough to have a large membership compared to a lot of genealogy socie-ties, and amongst them are volunteers that can handle these things.” One of those volunteers is the society’s web-master, Claudia Boorman, who turned the donation into a searchable data-base for the resource centre, but also made it into an online index, so that the data would be accessible through the website.

Wasylenko decided to donate her research now because she felt she had completed it. “I’ve always been of the opinion that you share the informa-tion you have. None of it is any good to me, not one of them are my rela-tives, so why keep it in my house? So I’ve always done that. Make it known to as many people as you can,” she says. Wasylenko’s donation is of even greater importance because she didn’t only record the details of grave mark-ers, she also added information from

death records and other sources. “It’s never a complete picture. You just try and do what you can, but, like any good genealogist, you do not take anything for granted. You have to get more information from other things, like the census or whatever it may be.”

Wasylenko says it’s surprising how often the death certificate differs from the name on the grave marker. “The older markers used to have it right on the marker, ‘born Birmingham, England,’ or whatever, even things like ‘buried at sea.’ Just that little extra. Then, of course, with all the crema-tions you just get ‘1895 to 1950’ and that’s it.”

Unless you can talk directly to fam-ily members, Wasylenko says, “you are not 100 per cent sure that that person is there. A lot of times it is a memorial, and when they came with cremation it really distorted the records in a way, because you just have no idea whether they’re there or not.”

Scott and Wasylenko are far from alone in their passion for genealogy and collaboration. Scott says, “We’ve seen a lot of discussion in the States, where they figure it’s the second big-gest hobby, second only to gardening in the States. There are so many websites out there now, and blogs, smart phone applications. So it’s big, and what happens is everyone is try-ing to help everyone else and that’s the beauty of it. And that’s why I got involved, because people had helped me over the years, so when I retired I thought it was my turn to help.”

Local genealogist makes large donation to Victoria Genealogical Society

JANINE CROCKETT

6 NEWS • MARTLET November 21, 2013

Don’t Forget to Submit Your Health & Dental Claims from Last Year

DEADLINE FOR SUBMITTING CLAIMS FROM LAST YEAR (for students covered in 2012-2013)

All health and/or dental claims incurred on or before August 31, 2013 (for the 2012-2013 policy year) must be received by the insurance company (Pacific Blue Cross) by November 29, 2013.

If you’re mailing claims directly to the insurance company, please leave adequate time for delivery.

The address for Pacific Blue Cross is recorded at the top of all claim forms.

Claims received after the deadline will not be reimbursed.

Claim forms are available at www.ihaveaplan.ca. For more information, call the Member Services Centre at 1 877 789-8714 from 9 am to 5 pm on weekdays.

Important notice for students who were enrolled in the Health and/or Dental Plan in 2012-2013

Have a smart phone with a QR code reader? Scan the box to be directed to your Plan’s website. ihaveaplan.ca

ADAM HAYMAN

Ever since the Canadian Senate scandal in October, transparency has been a hot topic in Ottawa. All three major parties are trying to prove their accountability. During the Conservative party’s policy conven-tion, which ran from Oct. 31 to Nov. 2, the party voted in favour of mak-ing their fi nances more transparent. In June of this year, Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau tried to pass a motion to make all MP offi ce, travel, and din-ing expenses available to the public in an attempt to increase transparency.

The NDP dismissed this motion initially; however, at the begin-ning of November, the NDP pushed for greater transparency too. They attempted to pass a motion that would limit the amount of “in camera” sessions being held by the Procedure and House Affairs Committee, meet-ings on the Status of Women, and the Offi cial Languages Committee.

If a meeting is “in camera,” it means it isn’t open to the public. The motion that was proposed by the NDP asked for all meetings to be available for the public, except if the meetings covered one of fi ve issues. Murray

Rankin, NDP MP for Victoria, dis-cussed these issues over the phone. He said the meetings should be held open for press and public unless “you are dealing with: wages, salaries, and other employee benefi ts; contracts and contract negotiations; labour and personnel matters; fi nalizing a draft report; or briefi ngs concerning national security.” Rankin believes, “When these committees meet, they must be in public, unless they can bring themselves into one of those fi ve categories.”

The NDP motion also asked, “Any votes that are taken in camera, they have to be recorded in the minutes, including how everyone voted.”

The UVic Students’ Society (UVSS), for example, records audio of their Board of Directors meetings as well as taking minutes, and they post them online. Other meetings simply require minutes to be taken and nothing else. Though the UVSS board itself does hold in-camera sessions, UVSS Chairperson Kelsey Mech mentioned in an email that “the majority of our committees are open to all UVSS members to attend any time.”

“What’s wrong with that?” asked Rankin. “It seems to us like a

simple proposition.” When asked about Trudeau’s attempt at increasing transparency in June, Rankin said, “We didn’t think it was serious.” So the NDP put together what, they thought,“was a much more fulsome proposal than the one he was proposing.”

“This was less game playing, but much more serious. We wanted to

reform the rules to be consistent so you can compare apples to apples when you’re looking at the expenses of different MPs. We wanted to record more details than what the Liberals were proposing,” said Rankin. Various news sources, like the National Post, Canadian Political Scene, and CBC, all reported that Trudeau’s attempt at

expense transpar ency was a good fi rst step, but regardless, it was still shut down before it began.

Expense breakdowns for NDP MPs can now be found on MP Nathan Cullen’s website. Trudeau is boasting the same, and the Conservatives, as mentioned, just voted to follow suit at the start of this month.

Federal government struggles toward greater transparency

CorrectionIn the Martlet’s Nov. 7 issue, the article “UVic’s POLIS responds to Water Sustainability Act proposal” contained a misplaced word. The article should have refl ected that Grand Chief Stewart Phillip, president of the Union of B.C. Indian Chiefs, does not believe that there has been an adequate forum for consultation. The editors apologize for our error.

WILLIAM WORKMAN


OpinionsEDITORIAL

Editorial topics are decided on by staff at our editorial meetings, held weekly in the Martlet office (SUB B011). Editorials are written by one or more staff members and are not necessarily the opinion of all staff members.

Happy? Sad? Enraged? Tell us: [email protected]

The Martlet has an open letter policy and will endeavour to publish letters received from the university and local community. Letters must be submitted by email, include your real name and affiliation to UVic and have “Letter to the editor” in the subject line. Letters must be under 200 words and may be edited.

Next week, we’ll print an opinion on sexism in geek culture. What’s yours?

8 OPINIONS • MARTLET November 21, 2013

The Lens: University exams

KLARA WOLDENGA

Like many learning institutions, the University of Victoria has strict schedules for final exams. Students must all file into their designated rooms at the same scheduled time, presumably to avoid cheating. Exam break is a terribly hectic time. The breaking of one’s psyche is the only thing remotely in resemblance to a ‘break’ suggested by the exam period. Is this particular method of examination always necessary? Couldn’t cer-tain exams for certain circumstances be offered on an alternative, flexible schedule?

Some instructors explicitly state what their exam’s questions will cover prior to the writ-ing date. What is the risk of cheating when all concerned students already know what’s on the exam? In these instances, it seems wholly unnecessary to have students write in the same room, at the same time—if minimizing cheating is the primary concern. Giving students the option to write an essay portion of a given exam on a day better suited to them would help relieve the stress of an otherwise hellish exam schedule.

There is already a system currently available to students with disabilities that allows them to schedule accommodated exams. This wonderful service is offered by the Resource Centre for Students with a Disability. However, students who don’t currently qualify for accommodated exams should be given some consideration as well. Many students have difficulties taking an exam in the environment provided: sometimes it’s a gym, sometimes it’s a lecture hall, and surrounding a given student are hundreds of other students. The eerie part about the writing experience is that the room is mostly silent—except for the scribbling of pencils and turning of pages.

Not all students are comfortable writing exams this way. For some students, the num-ber of other people surrounding them makes them so uncomfortable that they can’t think clearly. For others, they can’t think with all the silence. Some students may need accommodated exams for more pressing reasons. If a student falls ill around exam time, getting excused from an exam is typically fairly difficult. Requiring a student who is tired because they’ve been up coughing all night to take an exam that could be worth most of their grade seems unfair.

Sometimes life interferes as well. Students shouldn’t always be expected to miss important functions such as weddings or family reunions simply because a scheduled exam overlaps. We’re not saying that each student should be given an accommodated exam for everything and anything. Ideally, students would apply for an accommo-dated exam through their professors and academic advisor. University authority would be the final arbiter in verifying and approving the reason for the request.

There should be some way to help students who are uncomfortable taking their exams in the standard exam setting. A disability is not the only reason a student may need an accommodated exam, and ideally, the university should recognize that.

Moreover, the nature of final exams and standardized testing is problematic, at least in principle. Standardized testing for many students presents a situation where only a shallow understanding of a given topic can be conveyed. These tests demonstrate how quickly a student can write memorized information while under stress. This is not necessarily an indicator of how well one performs or of a student’s intelligence and capability. Yet standardized tests often determine the likelihood of future success for the majority of our nation’s people. From elementary school up to university, we have been tested and tested, and dragged through multiple choice questions, essay ques-tions, and vast rooms of stressed students all writing on the exact same thing.

Standardized testing can work for some. However, students have a variety of learning styles that will be reflected even when answering similar questions. UVic’s diversity of learning styles, intellects, and sense of creative expression should be accommodated by rethinking how and when we administer exams. It’s 2013; in many cases, there’s got to be a better way.

EMMA CONWAY & TONIJA SKUJA

Every day in Victoria people go hungry, food bank shelves stay empty, and low-income families struggle to put food on the table—especially around the holidays. What if I told you that big-chain grocery stores individually throw out thousands of dollars’ worth of “unsellable” produce every day? Why is it acceptable that food is wasted, while countless people are going hun-gry? The problem lies in a system that accepts waste, in addition to our soci-ety’s over-excessive food standards.

Food is wasted at all levels of pro-duction: from farmers to retailers, approximately 30 per cent of fruits and vegetables harvested never even make it to grocery stores. The loss resulting from food waste in Canada is valued at approximately $27 billion a year. Overall, about 40 per cent of the food we produce is estimated as ending up wasted. Not only is this expensive, but it could be spent on feeding the 1.6-million Canadian households that are going hungry. The reality is our food standards are far too high.

For grocery stores, it is the standard for each apple to be perfect, mean-ing uniform size, shape, and colour. This is unnatural; any apple that is misshapen, scratched, or bruised is designated unsellable and is com-posted. Thus, grocery stores throw out so much food because of our aesthetic expectations. Part of the problem is our perception; our stand-ards are too high, and this is driving grocery stores to waste food that is edible. But why not donate this food?

Grocery stores claim that they can’t donate their unsold food to people in need due to risk of possible liabil-ity. This is an incorrect assumption for two reasons: first, the Food Donor Encouragement Act created by the Provincial Government in 1997 pro-tects well-intended food donors from liability in the event of sickness or even death; second, our community action project demonstrates that “unsella-ble” food is perfectly edible and nutritious, and won’t cause sickness. We literally made a dumpster salad to prove our point.

We represent a group of University of Victoria students called “Food

Not Waste.” Our mission is to divert unsellable food from grocery stores to food banks instead. We have come up against considerable resistance from big-chain stores when they’re asked to donate, although we have had some small successes working with locally owned and operated businesses. We have also successfully implemented a pilot project with an anonymous local store to donate food for the month of November. On any given day, we can receive up to four boxes of produce and day-old bread that would other-wise have gone to waste. One box of food can easily feed a family for a week. Local efforts seem to have the greatest impact when it comes to social responsibility.

With the holidays around the corner, we urge other local grocery store own-ers to embrace the spirit of giving and donate their “unsellable” products to food banks. Even donating once a week can make a difference in some-one’s life. We also propose a challenge to all individuals to rethink social standards; buy local, and don’t over-look the apple with the small bruise. Cut it out! Literally!

It’s food, not waste

Exams: is there a better way?

HUGO WONG

KLARA WOLDENGA

November 21, 2013 MARTLET • OPINIONS 9

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GUTHRIE PRENTICE

One of the goals any citizen scientist should have is to obtain the clearest information possible, before making any decision on an important issue. Obtaining information crucial to mak-ing decisions on important issues should be a paramount goal for any citizen scientist. By tracing reports back to origi-nal scientifi c studies, citizen scientists can perform their own personal quasi peer-review. Unbiased examination of scientifi c reports enables citizen scien-tists and other interested individuals to understand the available information. Moreover, particularly engaged citizen scientists can determine whether certain studies have committed any errors that may cast the science into question.

For example, in a lawsuit launched against B.C. Hydro by Citizens for Safe Technology (CST), the CST commented: “The World Health Organization/IARC has classifi ed wireless radiofrequency radiation, such as that from B.C. Hydro’s Smart Meters, as a class 2B possible human carcinogen.” B.C. Hydro is claim-ing in response that “[. . .] 20 years’ worth of exposure to a smart meter would be equivalent only to a 30-minute-long cell-phone call.”

To know who’s right, one must demand studies that demonstrate how much radiation is actually emitted per second from a Smart Meter. Then one could determine if B.C. Hydro’s claims are accurate. More pressing, however, is just how great a risk there is for cancer caused by cellphone use or Smart Meter

exposure. To quote only a classifi cation by an organization (the WHO, in this case) as a suffi cient basis for possible cancer risk, without presenting the odds, exposure times, or how those conclu-sions were arrived at, is a logical fallacy. One may want to examine any available original studies in order to determine what was actually said by those conduct-ing the experiments.

In attempting to trace the WHO claim, I discovered a press release from 2011 stating that a meta-analysis performed at a meeting of scientists had concluded that cellphone use as a factor in the onset of cancer was possible, although further research was required. The group also stated that the working group did not actually quantify the risk—if there was any. The same group mentioned a study

demonstrating a 40 per cent increase in gliomas (a type of malignant tumour that grows in the brain or spine), but no actual reference to said study was provided in the press release. The only usable refer-ence given in the press release, from the American Journal of Epidemiology, was a study that used case-case, and case-specular (a hypothetical tumour location) techniques. The study found no statisti-cally signifi cant distribution of gliomas in association with cellphone use. The study’s hypothesis was that gliomas should show up more concentrated around the part of the brain nearest the cellphone, because cellphone radiation is absorbed by the fi rst fi ve centimetres of the brain. However, gliomas showed up throughout the entire brain; there was no signifi cant clustering near the

cellphone usage sites, indicating evi-dence contradictory to the idea that cellphone radiation causes cancer.

So, how does a citizen scientist respond in a situation like this? First, demand more data in situations con-cerning health; second, express concern that data from important organizations is unavailable either because it is expensive to obtain, or because the publication it belongs to cannot be found online. We must fi nd ways to be able to access the original sources of scientifi c claims, if we are to make informed decisions both for our lives and the lives of those around us. If people are unable to fully access data related to the public interest, how are they supposed to make good deci-sions and take the best course of action?

The Empiricist

Citizen science as peer review

WHATAn open space for dialogue on systemic violence, including:

� Pathways of Resistance: move through engagement stations set up by UVic groups and community organizations

� Free vegetarian dahl (a vegan/gluten-free option will be provided)

� Anti-Violence Project Clothesline Display

WHEN Wednesday, Dec. 4, 11:30 a.m. – 1:30 p.m. Classes will be cancelled from 11:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. to allow students, sta� and faculty to participate.

NATIONAL DAY of REMEMBRANCE and ACTION on VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN

For more information, contact Cindy Player at [email protected] or 250-721-7007.

Wednesday, Dec. 4

www/facebook.com/UVicRAVAW

LEAD-UP EVENTSNov. 25, 12-2:00 p.m. Visit a button-making station in the SUB, Fraser (law) building or Residence Café

Nov. 28, 3-5:30 p.m. Keepers of the Fire Screening of Christine Welsh’s documentary �lm plus panel discussion, Cinecenta

WHEREMichèle Pujol Room, Student Union Building

WHOEveryone is welcome and encouraged to attend

Phot

o: L

aura

Dut

ton

Vote ‘ Yes’ to making UVic come alive ARIEL MISHKIN

Ariel Mishkin is the University of Victoria Students’ Society’s executive director of events.

When I ran for the position of Director of Events for the University of Victoria Students’ Society (UVSS), I knew the long hours and small events budget would be a challenge. However, I had no idea just how diffi cult working with such a minimal budget would be. I managed to co-ordinate bands and DJs in Felicita’s, put bands on the roof of the SUB, host the Student Union Building fair, plan Campus Kick

Off, and throw an all-ages Halloween party in Vertigo—despite these con-straints. Although I’m proud of my accomplishments, I am keenly aware of the lack of big name acts on cam-pus. When students attend Events Committee and suggest booking a big name act similar to other student societies, I always have to turn them down, because we simply don’t have the money.

Campus events at the University of Victoria (UVic) just can’t compete with other universities in Canada. Students who come to UVic expect the quality of events to be as exceptional as they

are at many other campuses across the country. The UVSS has one of the lowest events fees for student socie-ties in Canada, and because of this, we are unable to offer high-quality entertainment. This is why I asked the UVSS Board of Directors to pose a ref-erendum question to undergraduate students asking to increase the events fee by $1 (part-time students) or $2 (full-time students).

When I look at the types of events other student societies across the country are able to hold, I feel frus-trated and embarrassed that I am unable to offer students more. For

example, Kid Cudi performed at the University of British Columbia (UBC), and Passion Pit at Algonquin College. I use our budget as best as I can—the events I’ve listed above speak to that. But I could do so much more with just a dollar or two more per semester from each student.

Augmenting the events budget by $2 will benefi t all UVic students by fostering a more dynamic and lively campus community. Imagine a come-dian or famous speaker you would like to see. Now imagine getting to see them on campus with your friends. We have the potential; we just need the means to get there. I would love to bring together diverse groups on campus. This would establish a cul-ture of student life that UVic students deserve. It would distinguish our school identity from other universities and colleges across the country. The Camosun College Student Society has double our events budget and only half the number of students. We

lack the capability to compete with smaller, local student societies such as Camosun’s, let alone student soci-eties at UBC, Simon Fraser University, or the University of Alberta.

The same amount of money you spend on a coffee could double our budget. On November 27th, 2013, a referendum will be held asking UVic’s student body if they support increasing the special events fee by $2 per semester for full-time students and $1 per semester for part-time students. Please vote yes. You have the ability to change how many awe-some bands, artists, speakers, and comedians we can bring to campus. At the annual Canadian Organization of Campus Activities conference this past May, I was placed in the same group as small colleges. I literally had to sit at the little kids’ table. Vote yes to help me upgrade the UVSS’s seat, and reinvigorate our campus culture.

10 FEATURE • MARTLET November 21, 2013

An r exia

My St ryWRITTEN BY LEAT AHRONY

November 21, 2013 Martlet • FeatUre 11

hen people hear me fluently speak unaccented English, they least expect me to say I am from Taiwan. And when my friends compliment my simple and nutritious eating and cooking habits, they are surprised by my traumatic experience with ‘the beast’ eight years ago. This disease is not uncommon, but everyone has a different story. Some double-lock it in a secret box and never want to pull it out again. Some live with it until they are buried deep in their graves. Others have the courage to speak about their struggles, challenges, and the fear of it coming back. I chose to uncover and tell the tale of how I fought against anorexia nervosa.

early childhoodThey say unpleasant childhoods spark unfortunate events. I learned the hard way this is not always true. My childhood was filled with love, care, attention and multiculturalism, but when I fell into depression at age 12, I began to mentally and physically abuse myself.

It began with disappointment. I had wanted to study in the inter-national American school, but was not lucky enough to reach the top of the waiting list until high school. My parents went with the next best thing and placed me at a British International Middle School in Taiwan.

An average teenager spends more time at school than they do at home, but no matter how loving and caring parents may be, they do not have 24-7 control of what their child is doing or thinking. Every day was a drag for me. I detested everything about my school: the teaching and grading system, the rooftop drum of pounding rain-drops, the blue-striped, collared uniforms, and the uncomfortable and irritating blue knee-cut skirts. Every day became a routine of waking up and dragging my physical body to class, while my brain was constantly thinking about home. I was the first one to run out the school gates the second the school bell rang. I could not wait to get my uniform off and shower. I was mentally obsessed. My school uniform, which came out of the dryer “fresh and clean,” was per-ceived by me as dirty and evil. I knew this wasn’t a normal reaction or way of thinking, but I closed one eye and told myself it was just a pet peeve of mine. But it was more than a pet peeve.

depression and degradationAt the age of 12, I felt like a lonely child. My brother, who was one year away from graduating high school, barely paid any attention to me. He was never home and instead was always at school, hang-ing out with friends, playing video games, or clubbing downtown. My parents were extremely busy with the family business; though they did not neglect me, they missed the cues. I knew I would have hugs and kisses from my parents every day when I came home. But despite the warmth and love I received from my parents, I was already caught in a downward spiral. Unless someone caught me at the moment it all changed, there was nothing stopping me from sinking to the bottom.

I fell into depression and felt vulnerable. I did not enjoy my school, peers, or teachers, and did everything possible to escape these things. I made the “I feel sick today” excuses to my parents and exhausted my school absence allowance. Every day was a dull shade of grey, and eventually, my world turned black. Everything went from positive to negative. I felt helpless, hopeless, and then I found something I knew I could take full control of: my body. I devoted all my physical and mental energy into exercising and try-ing to create perfection within my body.

The gym became my obsession, and the mirror was my glim-mering reward after a workout. I stopped myself from eating food, and went to the gym two to three times a day for one-hour cardio workouts each time with some weightlifting. I wanted to be skinny,

and to attain a great shape, simply because I felt it was the only satisfying reward left in my life. I had a weight-loss goal in mind, and the number never stopped decreasing. Instead of giving in to my cravings, I went backwards. I cut out desserts, carbohydrates, juices, and other drinks. And I ate less than 500 calories a day. It was a vicious cycle of restrictive eating and exercising.

hiding insecUritiesI tried to hide it for more than five months, lying to my parents that I was going to the park or to do an errand when I was actually work-ing off calories at the gym. I felt in control of my body and felt proud to be able to see my skeletal structure through my thin layer of pale skin. But what I repeatedly saw in the mirror was the distorted truth. I saw a “fat,” “overweight” and “imperfect” body. My goal was to attain the perfect body. It was hard for people to pick up signs because I suppressed all of my emotions and feelings. I layered up to make my outer appearance look semi-normal. I lost my passion, courage, soul, and self-confidence. It is difficult to explain how you end up expending thousands of calories your body doesn’t have, and yet you continue because your brain tells your legs to keep going. Anorexia is a very mentally tiring disease to fight with—it wore me out.

Mental lethargyEvery day was a constant battle inside my head:

You are not skinny enough, not perfect enough. One more hour at the gym. Two more hours. Three more hours . . .One more lap around the school track. You are not burning enough calories.You can’t eat lunch today. This has too many calories. You need to portion your food sizes; eating too much is not

healthy.I don’t care if you are hungry; you are fat, and you cannot eat. You are not hungry. You don’t need food.It’s already 6 p.m.; don’t eat anything else.

Where did I end up? I literally began weighing my food behind my parents’ back. I weighed my dinner by putting a few leafy greens on the scale, and occasionally a few miniscule tofu cubes. If I was one milligram over, I panicked. With poor nutrition, my grades and con-centration in class plummeted. My parents knew I was not enjoying school but did not know my brain was a controlling monster.

Many people do not realize anorexia has a powerful ability to take complete control of all of your psychological perceptions and decisions. For example, when I felt hungry and wanted to eat food, I was pulled back and slapped with a whip by anorexia, telling me my body did not need it, and that I couldn’t fail myself for a perfect body. I was constantly hungry, but never let myself give in because it meant I was setting myself up for failure. I turned into a skeletal being who lost all her emotions, and believed the only way to feel in control was through excessive exercise and starvation.

the Final FallThe school bell rang, and as I ran towards the school gates, I tripped on a tile. The next thing I knew I was on the ground face-down, barely able to lift my fragile body up. When the nurse saw me, she called my parents.

“Do you know your daughter has barely any body fat left?” she asked my parents with concern. My parents took a close look at me, and realized they were not looking at the daughter they raised. My face was pale, and my weak and thin bird legs hung over the nurse’s bed. It was time. My parents took away the only perceived control I had in my life. My school decided to let me take some recovery time off. After a period of one month, I went back to school for half days.

recovery road“If you do not start eating well and gaining weight, we will hospi-talize you,” said the doctor at Yang Ming Hospital. In the span of six months, I had lost almost 33 pounds. “I want you to come back in one week to go over your blood test results, and I hope to see some increased weight by then. If you keep losing weight, we will need to feed you through the tube.” The image of this terrified me, and I believe this is when I hit rock bottom.

The anorexic voice never went away, but my parents encouraged me. They prepared my meals and followed the doctor’s instructions. I was forced to eat two eggs every day for seven months. I was stubborn and told my parents I didn’t want to gain weight by eat-ing unhealthy foods, and told them all my vegetables and meat had to be steamed or boiled. Everyone’s first reaction was that I would never gain weight this way. I refused to eat deep-fried or junk food, and still eliminated high-sugar items. “I want to gain weight, I promise!” I cried out to my parents, “but I want to do it the healthy way.” There was no doubt that anorexia influenced this decision, and I was still afraid of fats—but, believe or not, I did it.

By my eighth recovery month, I had reached a normal weight, gained back muscle strength, and was close to being relatively sane again. It took two years of seeing a psychologist and taking pre-scribed pills. The only way you can begin the road to recovery is admitting you are sick and need help.

the little voice They say it never goes away, and they do not lie. Almost 10 years later, the voice is still there, pushing me to be perfect in everything I do and making me constantly compare myself to others. I criticize myself because I am not good enough at doing certain tasks. I sup-press my emotions, afraid to show any sign of weakness. I only let the tears spill out in front of close friends or family. Body image is no longer an issue for me; I maintain healthy eating habits and exer-cise moderately. I eat when I want and do not count calories. I am no longer afraid of fats or oils, because my body tells me I need it.

The little voice will never go away no matter how much I fight it. It still has the power to make me believe that I am not good enough. It has taken time and strength to fight this voice. I often try to encourage myself by asking, “What strengths, talents, and skills do you have that others don’t?” or “Life isn’t supposed to be perfect. We learn from mistakes and from each other.” I learned to accept that life itself is a roller coaster, with high and low moments, rainy and sunny days, exciting and mournful events. The most important thing is to appreciate each day and try to live it to the fullest. I taught myself to see things in brighter colours or shades of grey, rather than only in black and white.

I don’t know why it happened to me. It’s a question many victims with the anorexia diagnosis might ask themselves. My mother still feels guilty today, feeling it was partly her fault, when it wasn’t. My childhood was filled with love and care. Unhappiness simply stuck me in a web of depression, pushed me to the deep bottom, but now that it is in the past, I have to focus on the present.

I haven’t relapsed since it happened eight years ago, but I am aware that another depression in my life could possibly bring it back. I value having a close social support network because when you have people who care about you, they will be the first ones to notice a change in your behaviours and habits. They will notice the signs of a potential relapse. Every day should be a celebration, and we should encourage each other and the people around us. Support and love is what we need.

I am not going to define beauty, because I don’t know how to. I believe everyone is unique and beauty is a meaningless term. If you make it to perfection, that’s great, but I what I have learned is that life is not about being perfect.

An r exia

My St ry

Culture “I wanna live till I die. No more. No less.” – Eddie Izzard

12 CULTURE • MARTLET November 21, 2013

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JANINE CROCKETT

Eddie Izzard will be returning to the Royal Theatre with his show “Force Majeure” Nov. 29 and 30. The tour brings Izzard to Victoria for the first time since he last performed here in 2010 for his “Stripped” tour.

Izzard describes the world tour as a sort of mental marathon, or a mara-thon of planning, but he says it’s great to be in the position where he can say he wishes to do something and it comes to fruition. Izzard says he’s returning to Victoria because he likes to get somewhere and he likes to go “wherever there’s a decent comedy audience, a comedy audience that gives a damn and has a brain and that is you guys, cause we’ve been there before. It won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, my stuff. But Monty Python wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea and not every-one is cool. Only cool people come. If the cool people come that’s it.”

In 2020, Izzard is running to be mayor of London and, naturally, he has taken notice of Toronto’s mayor. Izzard says, “I think basically Rob Ford’s doing a ‘what not to do’ in politics. Try not to smoke crack, not to threaten to kill people, try not to do everything he’s done.” Izzard says he was always headed in a political direction and just struggled with how to mix his comedy and acting career with politics. “I’ve realized you’ve got to close one down and open the other one up. At least 10 years I’ll give to politics and see what happens. But I do love this thing and I’m going to really regret leaving comedy and drama, especially my drama’s getting really good now. I feel I’m getting decent gigs and doing decent work, and it hasn’t necessarily been before that. So I’ve got six more years and by the time I pull out, I could be right at the good place, and it might be really

annoying to have to go off, but I think I have to go off.”

Izzard knows that there will be people who will say they are under-whelmed or that he’s a letdown in his political career. “And I’m just going to have to take that on the chin and move on, because that will happen I can assure that will happen, and if I do get elected, a transvestite get-ting elected, wow. It’s going to be a lot. It’s going to change everything, and it won’t change everything, it will change some things, hopefully for the better, and I’ll try, but I’ll make mis-takes, and it will go wrong in certain places, but I’ll try.”

Izzard displays a confidence he has been invested in over his lifetime, by doing things and reinvesting in them and then building them up again in a continuous cycle. He says, “I sup-pose when I first walked out the door saying I was a transvestite, that was a very scary thing to do. You know eve-ryone gets genetic cards when they’re born and some of them are this and some of them are that and some of them are tougher than the ones I’ve got, so. It’s just being open and being forthright and trying to have a bit of humour in there and have a mission in life and try. I worked out where I wanted to go and I stuck to it and I pushed for it. The same when I started running marathons. I pushed for that and I started putting marathon run-ner in there as my thing. So I do have a vision for where I could go in the world and where the world could go, so that’s why I’m going into politics I suppose.”

It is easy to wonder if Izzard sets limits for himself, but he says he doesn’t think in terms of limits. He says, “I try and do one thing that does two things. That’s what I really like doing, like touring in the French language is amazing. I could be in

Bordeaux and drinking Bordeaux wine and going ‘this is bloody amaz-ing.’ I can earn money from it which is great. I can encourage other people to earn money so they can learn the language and come and do it. Get you to see the whole of France, get people to see me, and it could inspire some kid to say ‘I can do that.’ And it also causes politically a bit of extra peace, the French and the Brits work-ing together.”

Eddie, who calls himself a spiritual atheist, believes in people. “I believe in humanity—and if there is a God, it is the collective link between us—in humanity, more good will than ill will in the world. I was practising for my marathons and I saw a bumper sticker, ‘One life, live it.’ I thought, ‘yeah, that’s what you’ve got to do.’ And with a good heart, with a posi-tive, ethical heart, because some people live a full life and they just do it with a lot of murder, like Hitler, and that’s no bloody good. There could be an afterlife and I might not be up for it because I’ve said I don’t believe in God, and so that’s fine. But here there’s stuff to do, there’s people to help, if you can get yourself to a good place, and try and look behind and see if there’s anyone else you can give a hand up. I think that’s really positive and that’s the way we should all live our lives, and I think a lot of us do. So live life, go for it, and try and help someone else,” Izzard says. “We’ve definitely got this life. So do live it to the fullest extent and see what you can do. And watch the film It’s a Wonderful Life at Christmas and that will put you in the right space.”

Eddie Izzard, Force MajeureThe Royal Theatre (805 Broughton St.)

Nov. 29 and 30 @ 8 p.m.Tickets: $71.25

A chat with Eddie IzzardEddie Izzard’s ‘Force Majeure’ comes to Victoria Nov. 29–30

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SAVE THE SACRED GROVE

CHORONG KIM

A frequent misconception many people have with abstract art is that abstract artists work with chaos and lack the controlled style of more traditional art-work. “Abstract involves construction of a painting with visual fundamentals and disciplines,” says Bill Porteous, who is an abstract expressionist artist. “It begins with order and ends with order, whereas representation begins with chaos and ends with order,” says Porteous. “The word ‘abstract’ has a misunderstood defi nition. The word also means ‘to take from,’ and abstract is extracting from the natural world.” He points at a detailed drawing of a woman on the wall. “That is a good lie. It’s referring to something, it recalls what you know, and makes you feel you’re seeing something real. What’s real is what you’re seeing in front of you.”

Born in New York to jazz drum musi-cian, William A. Porteous in 1946, Bill Porteous is known for his paintings spanning public, private, and corporate

collections across Victoria and for teach-ing in the community for more than three decades.

Porteous is a collaborating artist in the D’Ambrosio Architecture + Urbanism project, providing artwork not meant for gallery showings, but for urban and architectural planning. He and Franc D’Ambrosio wished to turn unattractive scenery into a beautiful urban land-scape, and the walls of construction sites were “an excellent opportunity to work at that scale,” says Porteous. After construction, Porteous collects boards, takes pictures, picks his favourite sec-tions, and then turns the segments into unique collections of art. When new building holders show interest, Porteous slices the boards according to his pic-tures. The reconfi gured pieces are then installed throughout buildings.

Porteous had little exposure to fi ne arts in his childhood education—only a single art class in high school, which was where his teacher discovered his talent. He then went on to complete an Associate of Arts degree at El Camino

College in Torrance, Calif. There, he met two infl uential instructors: Andrew Fagan and Willie Suzuki. Suzuki arranged for Porteous to take third-year classes as a freshman. Porteous remembers that Suzuki asked students to draw an object upside down, making the object lose its identity. It was the art section of the El Camino library where Porteous was fi rst exposed to abstract expressionism; however, he says he was into abstract art since day one and just didn’t know what it was yet. Learning fi gures and abstrac-tion at El Camino College inspired him, but even with fi gures, he was already abstracting.

In the 1960s, which Porteous says was “the explosion of the genre,” Porteous completed a Bachelor and Masters of Fine Arts at the Otis Institute of Art in Los Angeles.

In 1974, Porteous came to Victoria to help found the now-closed Northwest Coast Institute of the Arts. There, he met the late Jack Wise, whose well-known Mandala series is held in part in UVic’s Legacy Art Gallery. Porteous established

the Victoria College of Art with Wise, where he taught and developed design programs for 17 years. Porteous opened his own studio in 1994 and has also taught notably at Camosun College and UVic. His most recent involvement at UVic was as a guest lecturer in a German Expressionism class (GMST 355) taught by Professor Matthew Pollard, who is involved in Porteous’s Wednesday Abstraction Group.

For students interested in abstract expressionism, Porteous recommends several artists whose works are on dis-play at the Art Gallery of Greater Victoria: Gerhard Richter, Helen Frankenthaler, Guido Molinari, and Jack Bush. “The more real contact [with works of art in person], the better the interface,” he says. He also suggests aspiring artists view the works of Mark Rothko, and Barnett Newman.

“Ad Reinhardt said meaning is derived from subject matter. That is, meanings are associated with people, place, and things. If we look at Mark Rothko’s paint-ings, they are deprived of people, place, and things; thus, abstract paintings are often regarded as meaningless. People say, ‘What the hell is this?’ to abstract, but apply that to landscape or still life. What does landscape mean?”

Porteous advises students to be proactive, saying, “They have to allow themselves to be curious about what’s possible.” He says, “Rather than searching the history or syllabus behind a painting, see them open minded. Viewers often have a grid of expectations that masks a painting.” Porteous also recommends students to be like a child, encounter paintings

independently as an object. His works refl ect his philosophy: an abstract play of shapes and colours, which makes people draw their own conclusions. “Purge yourself of everything that’s not you. Then you can begin to explore independently,” says Porteous.

What disappoints Porteous is the ignorance of people whose opinion pre-cedes their experience. When he served on the Victoria Public Art Advisory Committee, the artists were the only ones unpaid and were not regarded equally as professionals alongside engineers, architects, and city staff. Porteous, who contributed nevertheless, says, “Our society has diffi culty in plac-ing a value in the artist’s role in public art.” He also fi nds problems in curricu-lum that simply instructs students, who have not established the foundation of visual art, to simply express themselves. “Before you let it go, you should have at least some understanding [of art],” says Porteous. “It is easy to say ‘You don’t need to learn drawing,’ but they are not accountable for the foundation, language, and the vision. You have to know what you are doing and experi-ment in relation to something, not just experiment.”

Porteous is driven by challenges to be even more sure of his decision to become an artist, since he fi nds pro-ducing art uplifting. “What moves me most in my life is the possibility of doing something that transcends me, how I did it, and who I am. It’s something that is eternal and impacts over time, acting as a celebration, embracing of every-thing human.”

Purge yourself, and be curiousThe life and views of Victoria artist Bill Porteous

BRANDON EVERELLBill Porteous is a groovy artist in Victoria.


JACK CROUCH

“I don’t believe in dressing up real-ity. I don’t believe in using makeup to make things look smoother,” words from the legendary rock-and-roll musi-cian, singer, and songwriter Lou Reed, who passed away on Oct. 27, at the age of 71. As one of the founding members and primary lyricist of experi-mental 1960s rock band The Velvet Underground, Reed has been an inspi-ration to many throughout his lifetime. The band’s fi rst album only sold roughly 30 000 copies, but a frequently cited comment from musician/producer Brian Eno states that, “everyone who bought one of those 30 000 copies started a band.” The Velvet Underground didn’t do commercially well during its early years, but has since become one of the most infl uential bands of that era.

In 1970, Reed left the band and went home to work as a typist for his father’s tax accounting fi rm. However, in

1971 he returned to making music and signed a deal with RCA Records. His second album, Transformer, features one of his most famous songs, “Take a Walk on the Wild Side.” It chronicles the people who frequented Andy Warhol’s notorious Factory, where gender differ-ences didn’t matter and art and drugs were a common presence. In many interviews, Reed has emphasized how important and infl uential Warhol was in his perspective of life. It was Warhol who managed the Velvet Underground in the early days and encouraged Reed to write songs.

Reed’s solo career continued for four decades and includes 22 studio albums. He experimented with various musical genres, including ambient music, glam rock, protopunk, and heavy metal. Amid this is also a concept album pro-duced in 2003 of Edgar Allen Poe’s short stories and poems. Reed’s fi nal full-length recording project before he died was an album with Metallica in

2011. Featuring mainly spoken-word poetry over the instrumentals of a metal song, the album received mostly negative reviews, but nevertheless demonstrated Reed’s enduring, crea-tive motivation.

Earlier this year, Reed reviewed Kanye West’s latest LP, Yeezus, for Rolling Stone, stating, “He’s really try-ing to raise the bar. No one’s near doing what he’s doing, it’s not even on the same planet.” Not many 71-year-old men are reviewing hip-hop albums, but Lou Reed wasn’t stuck in the genera-tion of music he grew up and played in. He was always looking at the future of music, and as a pioneer in his own right he understood the necessity to always move forward.

For a man who spent the majority of his life experimenting and expanding the boundaries of music, it comes as no surprise that Lou Reed’s name will be remembered with the best of them.

Remembering Lou ReedLegendary musician Lou Reed passes away, but his inspiration lives on

MIA STEINBERG

Quick—name what the following TV shows have in common: Firefl y, Arrested Development, Pushing Daisies, Angel: the Series, and Veronica Mars. Many readers will recognize it as a very short list of television shows with huge cult followings, all cancelled before their time, dumped by heartless executives in favour of more bland, generic sitcoms and reality TV shows. Fans of these cult shows have all felt the incredible frustra-tion and powerlessness of watching the poor ratings take shows off the air that actually have a large and vocal following.

Have you ever wondered exactly how the television executives get those rat-ings? The answer lies in the Nielsen Family Audience Measurement System. Nielsen Holdings has been around since 1923, gathering information on what consumers buy and watch. Nielsen rat-ings can make or break a show, but their information-gathering tactics leave much to be desired. Nielsen gathers informa-tion through two venues: viewer diaries of targeted demographic samples, and the more technologically sophisticated “Set Meter,” which directly connects to the television and monitors the household’s

viewing habits. If you don’t have a Set Meter box on top of your fl at screen, or haven’t been asked by Nielsen to keep track of what you watch, then you aren’t contributing to the Nielsen ratings data. Period. If you don’t know anyone who’s a Nielsen subject, that’s because there are only 25 000 American homes which participate in the meter system—that’s a mere 0.02 per cent of the entire country.

It should come as no surprise that the Nielsen system has come under fi re in the past decade. Their system fails to actually measure statistically random samples; the data is discarded if a pro-gram is recorded for later replay on a PVR, and the Internet versions of TV shows aren’t counted at all. Nielsen is also rapidly becoming obsolete; paid cable channels like HBO and AMC are taking television to the level of high art, with critically acclaimed shows like Game of Thrones and Mad Men; furthermore, online services like Netfl ix have had huge successes in their own original program-ming—including bringing back Arrested Development for a fi nal season. If that’s not a ‘take that’ to traditional broadcast-ing, I don’t know what is.

But I see a light at the end of the tunnel. The popularity of Netfl ix programming

is one beacon, and Nielsen recently announced another: they have teamed up with everyone’s favourite little blue bird to create Twitter TV, which will collect data on which U.S. TV shows are being tweeted about. They aim to track the audience for a show, based on the total number of tweets that mention it. Their fi rst week of operation was Sept. 20–26; on the 23rd, the most tweeted show was AMC’s Breaking Bad; but according to the traditional Nielsen ratings, the top program was an NFL football game.

The result so far has been amazing, because it confi rms what we geeks have known all our lives. There is almost no overlap between the two sources of data; in fact, the two rankings on the week of Oct. 27 had zero shows in common. Nielsen hasn’t announced exactly what it plans to do with the data, but this is a huge step for the democratization of television; it’s allowing executives to get a far larger sample size, and an idea of what people really want. So live-tweet without shame, readers (though get an American friend to retweet for you, since Canadian views have never counted). The future of television entertainment is crawling, slowly but surely, into our hands at last.

The future is ours, 140 characters at a timeTwitter TV and Nielsen are the fi rst step toward a television revolution

BETH MAY


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UVic students and alumni held a book launch at the UVic bookstore on Nov. 7 for their modern love anthology called: Campus Confi dential. The book shares personal essays about students’ interpretations on the topic of love in a modern world and was printed using the UVic Bookstore’s Espresso Book Machine.

Despite the black, drizzling sky, it was a very bright night for UVic’s Writing Department. Snacks and refreshments were given to those who attended. David Leach, direc-tor of both the Professional Writing minor and the Technology and Society minor, was the supervising editor for the anthology and the MC dur-ing the book launch. Leach said he was “blown away by the quality of the writing,” and seemed thrilled to have worked with editor Liz Snell on this project. Snell is a UVic alumna, and she also contributed an essay to the anthology. Snell said she was “honoured to have so many people share their stories with me”—peo-ple like JoAnn Dionne, Jon Salonga,

Kelsey Coplin, Bryce Bladon, Frances Backhouse (all of whom gave read-ings), and several others.

There are 13 essays in the book, inspired by the New York Times col-umn Modern Love. There was an 1 800 word count for the pieces, and although there was quite a lot of sub-missions, the editors feel they have chosen a diverse collection of percep-tions on love. “I was a little worried I was going to receive a lot of ‘who I hooked up with this summer’ stories,” said Leach, “but what came in abso-lutely amazed me.” Both Snell and Leach hinted to the idea that we may see another anthology next year.

UVic’s Espresso Book Machine that printed the books is a clear-cased printer which resides in the basement of the bookstore with the textbooks. Reminiscent of something from Honey I Shrunk the Kids, or perhaps the breakfast machine from Flubber, the Espresso Book Machine has been affectionately named Eileen by the staff and can print varying sizes of books up to a little over 200 pages in length for an affordable price. Demonstrations were given before

the readings took place, causing many of the aspiring authors that attended to consider self-publication.

The readings began with editor Liz Snell. She read from her essay on library speed-dating. Bryce Bladon then read the entirety of his essay entitled “Orange Crush.” It was an honest look at what love means in modern times. Following Bladon there were touching readings from both Frances Backhouse and Kelsey Coplin. Two readers, JoAnn Dionne and Jon Salonga, gave short read-ings from their essays, and left the audience with cliffhangers, ensuring that the crowd, if not already swayed, would purchase themselves a copy.

“It was fantastic for me to hear them read live,” said Leach. “I read them on page probably a dozen times each as we edited them in the class, but then to hear that human voice just elevated them that much more.” Leach said he thinks that they “should do more of these” anthologies, after the success of this print. So look forward to more of these in the coming years.

Campus Confi dential is available at the UVic bookstore for $11.50.

UVic confessions hit bookstore Modern love anthology Campus Confidential launches

ADAM HAYMANNew book Campus Confi dential: A UVic Modern Love Anthology is on shelves as of Nov. 7.


½ Price Burgers

after 9:00 pm everyday

Beef, chicken, veggie or halibut

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with the purchase of a beverage

The Martlet is an independent weekly student newspaper at the University of Victoria in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada. It is a non-profi t society governed by a board of directors and operates according to a statement of purpose.Every full-time UVic student pays a fee to the Martlet each semester through a levy collected by the UVSS.

Undergrads pay $3.75 per full-time semester or $1.88 per part-time semester. This fee is refundable by cheque to students during a refund period each semester. Students who wish to receive a refund must sign a declaration, can-not participate in Society events or use copies of society publications.

The Fall 2013 Refund Period will be heldThursday, November 7, 2013 – Thursday, November 21,

2013

Refund forms can be picked up in the Martlet offi ce, Student Union Building B011, between 9:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. Monday to Friday.

JENN TAKAOKA

I’ll admit, I’m guilty of forgetting to eat vegetables sometimes. It’s hard to keep up a healthy menu with a full course load while working part time, volunteering, and whatever else we students do to keep as busy as possible. Since it’s fi nally fall, which means sick season is in full swing, here’s a very versatile way to get a veggie booster.

This recipe can pretty much be any-thing you want it to be. All you need are some hollowed-out veggies, like bell peppers, portabella mushrooms, zucchini, or even other squash, and a mixture of protein and more veggies to stuff inside of it. Because why not cram as many vegetables into one meal as possi-ble? My roommate tried it out with acorn squash and quinoa, but you may easily use ground meat in your veggie mixture. And if you have too much stuffi ng, save it to try in a different veggie next time.

The spice palate for this is also up in the air, depending on your craving. You can give it some Mexican fl avour with cumin, cayenne, and coriander, topped with fresh cilantro. Or replace cayenne with curry powder, keep the cilantro, and if you’re feeling it, toss some shredded coconut in the mix. Or aim for a simple Italian fl are with some basil, oregano, salt and pepper. I usually go by taste, so start with a pinch of each spice and adjust until you’re content. Always try your cooking as you go to make sure it’s edible.

Do me a favour and take a study break to cook. It’s a productive way to get your mind off of class and get some healthy food in your system. Just add your favourite music and spices, and veg out!

Fuel for school

Healthy ways to veg out

VEGGED-OUT VEGGIES (FEATURING SQUASH)

(Makes at least two servings)

1 medium acorn squash or 1–2 large zucchinis Half a small onion, mincedHalf a red pepper, minced2–3 mushrooms, minced1 clove of garlic, minced¼ lb of protein (ground beef, pork, chicken, turkey, or even ½ cup of cooked quinoa)1 cup of cheese, grated (optional, depending on spices)Olive oilSpices

Cut the squash in half lengthwise and scoop out the seeds. If using zucchini, cut off the bottom and stem of the zucchinis, then scoop out the seeds until they look boat-shaped, but don’t make the halves too thin or they’ll get fl imsy and leak. You can even chop up the scooped-out parts and add to the veggie mix if you want. No need to pre-roast.

Place the halves hollow-side-up in a baking dish fi lled about one quarter way with water. Roast at 375°F for 30 minutes or until tender.

While the squash is baking, heat some oil in a skillet and sauté the onions and ground meat until the meat is almost done. Add the rest of the veggies to the pan and cook until veggies are done and meat is browned. Season however you want. If you want cheese, stir in half a cup and melt until everything is coated and sticks together.

Drain any excess water from the squash baking dish. Keep the squash hollow-side-up and scoop in the veggie mix (and top with the rest of the cheese). Save any extra veggie mix for leftovers.

Bake for about fi ve or 10 more minutes. Serve whole or scoop out smaller portions of squash and veggie mix into a bowl and enjoy!

JENN TAKAOKA


LISTEN: 101.9FM in Victoria | cfuv.streamon.fm | Telus Optik 7033ONLINE: Twitter @CFUV | facebook.com/CFUV101.9 | cfuv.uvic.ca

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1. YAMANTAKA//SONIC TITAN * UZU (Paper Bag)

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5. TIM HECKER * Virgins (Paper Bag)

6. THE ROBERT GLASPER EXPERIMENT Black Radio 2 (Blue Note)

7. CROSSS * Obsidian Spectre (Telephone Explosion)

8. RYAN HEMSWORTH * Guilt Trips (Last Gang)

9. WEED * Deserve (Couple Skate)

10. ARCADE FIRE * Reflektor (Merge/Universal Music Canada)

CFUV TOP TEN — Week Of November 19th, 2013

CFUV is an award-winning campus/community radio station based at the University of Victoria. For more information about CFUV, including volunteer info, our program schedule, complete charts and much more, visit us at cfuv.uvic.ca

ALEX KURIAL

The UVic women’s basketball team got off to a hot start on opening weekend, but returned home on the heels of a loss after faltering to old foes Regina.

The start was encouraging how-ever, considering the question marks surrounding the roster coming into the season. 2012-13 seniors Chelsea McMullen, who led the team in offen-sive rebounds, and Debbie Yeboah, scoring and rebounds leader, both fi nished their eligibility last season, leaving a massive gap to be fi lled at both ends of the fl oor.

In the Vikes 2013 season opener against the Brandon Bobcats, it was one of the new veterans who stepped in to fi ll both roles. Fourth-year for-ward Sarah Semeniuk recorded a double-double with 16 points and 11 rebounds. She also had the contest’s lone block. Brandon managed to sink the fi rst bucket of the game, but it was all Vikes after that as they exploded to a 23-point halftime lead. The lead increased to as much as 32 in the fi nal quarter, with UVic ultimately prevail-ing 83-65.

After delivering the expected win, the Vikes headed to Saskatchewan to take on the powerhouse Regina Cougars. Fresh off a second-place fi n-ish in the country last season, Regina made easy work of the Vikes to cap an unbeaten opening weekend for the Cougars. Though the lopsided 85-64 score line won’t show it, the Vikes found themselves in command throughout the fi rst quarter. They held a 21-13 lead after one, but turnovers and Cougar dominance in the paint swung the game in Regina’s favour

by the half. The Regina bench put the game away in the third, leaving UVic unable to avenge their Canada West playoff exit at the hands of the Cougars last season.

Fourth year Cassandra Goodis had a strong game for the Vikes, notch-ing her own double-double with 18 points and 10 rebounds. Along with Semeniuk and fellow fourth-year Jessica Renfrew, who had a strong 13-point performance against Brandon, this trio of leaders will need to deliver consistently for UVic in order to hang with the stronger teams in the conference.

The Vikes returned home to the friendly confi nes of MacKinnon Gym for the weekend of Nov. 8–9, where the team enjoyed a dominant 9-2 record last season. They were in for a rude awakening, however, as the powerhouse Fraser Valley Cascades delivered a pair of commanding performances to sweep the dou-bleheader. UVic found themselves outmatched early in their home opener, trailing by 10 after the fi rst quarter en route to a 68-55 defeat. The Vikes kept it close going into halftime in the rematch, but saw the game slip away after the break to fall 77-61. The Cascades were led by Sarah Wierks, who had 40 points over the two games. For the Vikes, Renfrew led the way, putting up team highs in points with 18 and 14.

Now sporting an unenviable 1-3 record, the Vikes were back on the road Nov. 15–16 to take on the UBC Okanagan Heat in Kelowna. The matchup turned out to be the perfect medicine to snap UVic’s three-game slump, as they rolled over the Heat 89-75 before dispatching them 68-45

the following night. The road trip saw Renfrew establish herself as the go-to attacking option for the Vikes, scoring 19 and 15 to run her team high-points streak to four games. Second-year forward Jenna Bugiardini was a force in the paint, grabbing game highs in rebounds with eight and seven.

“She runs the fl oor really well, and she’s been shooting the ball really well,” said head coach Dani Sinclair of Renfrew’s play. “She’s a great shooter and she’s knocking them down.”

Much of the Vikes’ success early on can be attributed to their three-point shooting; UVic is shooting a Canada West best .415 per cent from beyond the perimeter. Their long-distance dominance sees four Vikes in the top eight in individual three-point per-centage, led by guard Shaylyn Crisp shooting .636 per cent.

“We’re doing a good job of getting the ball into our post, and then kick-ing the ball out,” Sinclair elaborated, on the team’s success. “It’s also driv-ing and dribble penetration, drawing defenses in, then kicking out.”

Having worked their way up to the .500 mark, UVic now returns home carrying the momentum from a strong road trip. On Nov. 22, the Vikes match up against fellow 3-3 squad Manitoba Bisons, while the Nov. 23 game has the 4-2 Winnipeg Wesmen coming to town.

Despite the strong competition, Sinclair is confi dent ahead of the upcoming matchups. “These split weekends with teams are always tough, and both of these teams are extremely tough. The key is going to be to play good defense, contain the ball, and then win the rebounding battle.”

Vikes campaign trending up after a slow start to the seasonMajor roster departures mean new roles for several Vikes

Sports | Lifestyle Turnover: giving the ball to the other team. The paint: where you shoot from.

MARIUS LANGELANDSarah Semeniuk of the Vikes takes on Sarah Wierks of the Cascades.

18 Sports | Lifestyle • MARTLET November 21, 2013

GRACE ANNEAR

It’s early in the morning on Saturday, Oct. 26, at an hour far too early to be running kilometre after kilometre around Mount Douglas High School’s football field. Yet myself and the rest of the UVic cross country team find our-selves running through damp grass and around pylons, as we gut through the final workout before the 2013 Canadian Interuniversity Sport (CIS) Cross Country Championships in London, Ontario, which would take place on Nov. 9.

The skinny guys with long greasy hair and thick lumberjack beards take to the field first. They run in a tight group; they are shirtless, wearing only their spiked racing shoes and brightly coloured, loincloth-like garments called “split shorts.” Though they wear hats, woolen mitts, and even arm sleeves, shirts-off is a cross country training necessity; no bloody chafed nipples on this team, they’ve got enough aches and pains as it is. “We’re always shirt-less in September,” shares third-year Patrick Psotka.

As the alternate for the women’s team, I train like I’m going to race, even though I will only compete in the event that someone on the team steps off a curb wrong and breaks their leg. Or something equally unlikely.

The men’s team headed into the 2012 CIS Championships anticipating a medal. After a series of disappointing

finishes, they came out with a Canada West title, but fourth place in the CIS.

“Last year was definitely a though loss. Going into that race, with the goals and expectations that we had, and not being able to perform up to our potential was extremely frustrating,” says third-year runner Forrest Simpson.

Throughout the past year, the men’s team rallied for change. Adopting “Curls for the girls” and “Don’t get injured” policies, it seems they have come back stronger than ever. This season, the group of skinny, shirtless dudes in need of haircuts has gone undefeated. In October, they won the Bronco Invitational—a race that’s home to many strong NCAA Division One teams—in Santa Clara, Calif., by about 20 points.

The victory was made even more remarkable by the fact that Dylan Haight, a CIS All-Canadian and top scorer for the Vikes, was unable to fin-ish the race due to injury. Rookie team member Olivier Collins stepped up and impressed as well, showing just how deep the talent runs on the Vikes.

More important than victory, though, is how gnarly these guys look.

The hair. The beards. The staches. These men went nine weeks, since they drastically upped their mileage to prepare for the London race, without shaving. All a testament to their man-liness, and the commitment to what it truly means to be a member of the CIS

cross-country team, ticket punched and stamped.

“One cannot truly embrace the essence of cross-country running with-out some sort of grime adorning their upper lip,” says Simpson.

And, hey, these poor suckers have to run 10 gruelling kilometers, over what-ever course the race directors decide to throw at them. If looking and feeling like a caveman helps them through it, then all the power to them.

The women, on the other hand, do not go without shaving to prepare for their national championship. Instead, they eat healthy meals, take their iron supplements, and, oh yeah, run a ton.

Going for the third-straight Canada West win, they too were gunning for a spot on the CIS podium. Two years ago, they had a taste of success with a silver medal finish, but last year they faced a similar situation as the men’s team, and finished in fourth.

“Ultimately, it comes down to who is ready to perform on race day, and unfortunately, I don’t think we were able to show that last year. It was disappoint-ing to leave London last year without a national medal,” said team captain Kendra Pomfret.

This year, the women’s team has had to deal with losing a few of its best runners: standout team member Ellen Pennock (2011 CIS XC Rookie of the year and third-place finisher), who recently raced to a silver medal at

U-23 World Triathlon Championships; Stephanie Trenholm, a 2011 first team All-Canadian; and Brittany Therrien, who was the leading Vikes runner in 2012. Still, the lady Vikes have come together with force. Pomfret attributes the early season success to the team’s ability to work together as a whole.

“Our team dynamic is a mix of com-petitive, goofy, and supportive. We all want to succeed, and we know that to do that, we collectively have to work together. Cross is awesome because it is very much a team sport in terms of scoring and preparation. We are each other’s second families, both on and off the course. When one teammate is having a bad workout, another pulls her along. There’s no way we would be where we are in the sport without each other,” says Pomfret.

That much is clear at the Oct. 26 Saturday morning practice, as the girls plow through their repeats. As soon as one girl begins to fall back, overcome with fatigue, someone shouts back to her to dig deep and not give up. This group-orientated attitude earned them a second-place finish out of the non-Div. 1 schools at the Bronco Invitational and third place at the Western Invitational in Bellingham, Wash.

“Our team is diverse in its talent; we have girls with incredible core strength who are consistently crushing hill work-outs, girls whose kilometre repeats and steady-state tempos are so consistent

they’re flying, and girls who can straight up compete—they may not be leading repeats in workouts, or putting in extra miles, but come race day, they act as the not-so-secret black horses—reli-able scorers and forces to be reckoned with,” Pomfret says.

Steam wafts above the girls as they surge between the two pylons that mark the finish line. I don’t really under-stand how, given the gruelling nature of today’s interval workout, but these girls do not look tired. Instead, they smile and make little jokes, slap one another’s butts and break into an easy cool-down jog.

The men’s team mills in behind the girls, back to the start line.

“All right, guys. Ten seconds,” says Irvine.

They toe the space between the cones and bend forward, sweat rolling off their shoulders and chests.

“Hup!” and they take off, spikes flashing. One two-kilometre repeat left, and then it’s taper time.

The Victoria men brought home their fourth-straight Canada West title and came sixth overall in the CIS. The Vikes women notched a silver medal in the Canada West standings and finished eighth overall in the CIS. It’s certainly not a lack of effort that left the Vikes off the podium this season. They will be back stronger and more determined next year, driving for the podium.

What goes into being a Vikes cross-country runner?Vikes cross country team speeds through the finish line

GEOFF ROBINSRyan Cassidy of the Victoria Vikes runs in the men’s 10K Run at the 2013 CIS Cross Country Championships in London, Ont., on Saturday, Nov. 9.

SHANNON K. AURINGER

The door looms tall and foreboding in front of you, your fingers loosely touch-ing the cold metal knob, while you draw in a quick deep breath before turning the handle. You’re not asking for much, just a week off at Christmas, so you can fly home to see your family. He’s totally going to see that it’s a reasonable request, even if it is the busiest week of the year. You push open the door com-pletely confident in your ability to make this happen, until you see him. Seated at his desk, with his hands behind his head like he’s relaxing by the pool in the sun; he is your boss. Although he’s friendly and welcoming, motioning with a smile for you to sit down, he is intimidating. You can’t put your finger on it but every

fibre of your being tells you that he is in control, and he knows it. You take a seat in front of him, legs crossed and arms wrapped around your mid section like you’re trying to keep warm. Your confidence is gone and you know the conversation is already over.

Let’s face it, we can’t all be the uber-alpha personality that struts around glowing with confidence all of the time. You know the type: they don’t seem to know anything else other than being successful and confident. When they walk into the room, they seem completely at ease regardless of the situation. Jealousy mounts, and you wonder how they got that way. Were they just born with more confidence, or did they have to learn it?

Research shows that non-verbal

behaviour, or as it’s more commonly known, body language, can be a major factor in determining one’s success in life. Amy J.C. Cuddy, an associate profes-sor in the Negotiation, Organizations & Markets unit at Harvard Business School (HBS), has recently done research linking job performance and success with one’s body language. In her October 2012 TED Talk, “Your body language shapes who you are,” she discusses how being aware of your body language can signifi-cantly change your life.

According to Cuddy, our body lan-guage is unspoken communication and it says something to those around us. It gives people a subconscious perception as to who we are and it also has the abil-ity to change our own body chemistry. She states that when people hold their

bodies in very closed positions, we actu-ally change the way our own mind views itself. The tighter and more protected the position, such as legs crossed, arms close to the body or touching our neck when we speak, sends messages of meekness and lack of self-confidence to the brain. When others see this type of body language, they unknowingly lose confidence in our abilities.

We’ve all heard the old saying, fake it till you make it, but according to Cuddy, you should fake it till you become it. She suggests that doing 10 minutes of power-posing every day can help boost your self-confidence and change your body chemistry. She states that if you practice doing the widely known ‘Wonder Woman’ stance; standing with hands on hips, legs spread a shoulder

width apart, chest pushed up and chin tilted up, it can make you feel self-assured and powerful. Her research shows that people who did this every day had higher levels of testosterone, which helps give you confidence, and lower levels of cortisol, which is the body chemical responsible for stress. She says that even if you don’t believe it, even-tually it will just become who you are, without any conscious effort.

So next time you’re feeling a little bit less than a winner, stand up in front of the mirror, throw your hands in the air and give your best superstar pose. Research shows it may be goofy, but it works. Hey, if it worked for the popu-lar Saturday Night Live character Mary Katherine, in the 1999 slapstick flick Superstar, it could work for you!

Kickin’ it old school

Power-stance your way to success

Humour More great hipster horoscope cartoon characters online. Find yours at Martlet.ca.

November 21, 2013 MARTLET • HUMOUR 19

WILLIAM WORKMAN

STAGE 1: WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE AND I DON’T WANT TO DRINK

It all starts with the desire to adopt a healthy lifestyle, but eventually you begin to crave anything other than the numb mineral taste of restau-rant tap water. You imagine yourself parched in a desert, throwing away your case of (insert corporate slogan here) Evian in exchange for a chance to suck the strangely-familiar-tasting sap from the prickly flesh of a cactus leaf. No, I don’t want a slice of lemon. Give me something with some bite. Are you going to finish your cactus?

STAGE 2: GRIND PLANTS, ADD WATER

Memories of your time in the foreign legion aside, you realise you have been staring over your teacup into space for nine hours and you have a midterm tomorrow. A few dozen sleepless nights of study have made you realize that the now-cold, flow-ery liquid (that may or may not be just stray bookshelf dust in a bag) is no longer enough to keep your mind focused. You have a taste for the bit-ter now, but the punch packed by your sleeve of Celestial Seasonings’ Indian Spice Chai tastes as though you’re drinking it in the rain and has about as much effect. By the end of

the semester, you come to find you have memorized every campus caf coffee blend and pick your classes based around when the next fresh pot hits the café counter.

STAGE 3: A LITTLE NIP NEVER HURT ANYONE

With coffee becoming the new nor-mal and classes feeling like even more of a drag before your seventh or eighth cup, you do what anyone would do: spike it with a shot of Jack Daniel’s old time Tennessee whiskey. Just a little nip on a Monday morn-ing makes the whole week seem to fly by. Although, eventually you real-ize it’s not Monday, it’s 4 a.m. on a Friday and you’ve been drinking Irish coffee every day for the last month. And though that may explain why your five-o’clock shadow now tickles your chest, or why that one guy at the bus stop keeps calling you captain of the party squad, the thought of going back to an unadulterated draft leaves a worse taste in your mouth than any slimy throat vomit, and you push to find something strong enough to wake you up in the morning, some-thing that will take the edge off the cold, paved sidewalk you find your-self on.

STAGE 4: THE DEEP ENDCocaine feels great; who wouldn’t love a buzz that keeps you in top

form? Exams are coming and your study schedule begins taking on a work-reward system of finish a chap-ter, do a line, finish another chapter, do another two lines. You start to think ahead to recreate your study conditions. As you carve your elabo-rate plan into your arm with the tine of your pen cap, you imagine sneak-ing a snow-dusted pack of spearmint gum past the invigilators.

STAGE 5: ROCK BOTTOM

You’ve failed the exam, even though you were totally in the zone and just killin’ that long-form trig sec-tion. Unfortunately, your constant loud sputters of grunts, excited yips and general twitchy use of your calculator ended up getting you for-cibly removed. This led to you being restrained by campus security and lashing out with a fist full of pencils as you attempted to reach across the

room and answer the last three ques-tions like Wolverine. As the police car turns a corner and you are flung to the opposite end of the rear seat, you begin to look back on what could have led to such a tragic day. Broke, failed, and jailed, you sit there wish-ing there was something that could take you away from all your troubles. If only you knew where to get some heroin.

How the healthy, natural path will lead you down the road to ruin

ARIES

This week, take it easy by reading Joyce or Kerouac nonchalantly while wearing dark-rimmed glasses and wooly socks. Watching obscure movies by Wes Anderson is another way to kick back and relax, as Mercury moves into ascendant Venus.

TAURUSThe headstrong bull is affected by a shift in Neptune’s alignment. Show your softer side this week by drink-ing lapsang tea out of a mason jar, complete with a knitted mason jar cosy. Don’t forget to Instagram it! (Pipe accessory optional.)

GEMINIIt’s time to focus on your looks. Show you have a multifaceted personality through your extensive scarf collection. Also, Uranus’s position at the ninth degree is affecting your ability to grow a nice beard. So make use of that straight razor or get an under-cut. It’ll get you more dates.

CANCERTake advantage of your creative side this week as Venus moves into the primary house of original-ity. Write something vague in Helvetica and get it printed on a t-shirt. Or better yet, make some shell art.

LEOJust because work is going well this month doesn’t mean you should get overzealous. Remember your personal life and take some time to get back to nature. Even though you’re a lion at heart, eat some raw vegan meals in overpriced coffee shops, and do some yoga, okay?

VIRGOInstead of staying home and ironically watching Portlandia, let loose and do something crazy. Get a finger tattoo or start a knitting club. You may be shy, but get out more and you’ll find that indie electro shows are really quite good live. Oh, and be sure to bring a Polaroid camera.

LIBRA

The stars have aligned in the celestial sphere of Mars. Ditch your usual after-work routine of listening to Grizzly Bear on vinyl by means of your intention-ally dusty record player and go for a bike ride on your one-speed instead, for an evening of environ-mentally-friendly fun.

SCORPIOStay cool as Pluto reaches full transit, increasing angst. We know you’re heartbroken, but quoting Hemingway on your Twitter isn’t going to make you feel any better. Neither is typing out letters to your ex on your vintage typewriter.

SAGITTARIUSWith Mercury in retrograde, you’re going to need more clothes from American Apparel, and another pair of suspenders. Don’t forget to check all the thrift stores for Bob Dylan-esque wayfarers, since Venus descends on the 25th.

CAPRICORNThey don’t call you a leader for nothin’, Cappy. The sun will rise in the Seventh House, so this week do something different and hit up that art gallery open-ing. The art is supposed to be conceptual, modern stuff, and really, like, Freudian. But you’ve probably never heard of it.

AQUARIUSOkay, so you’re kind of just unique by nature. But try wearing cuffed skinny jeans more often, along with a rolled-up toque and a three-wolf-moon T-shirt for effect. Also, as Jupiter moves into the 12th house, make sure to ironically drink Americanos with your legs crossed on a semi-frequent basis.

PISCES

Go with the flow, Pisces. Only you know how to copy other people’s actions to a tee. So don some plaid and invite some people over to slurp up some Pabst Blue Ribbon while listening to The National’s new album on repeat. Don’t forget to look unintention-ally cool while doing it, either.

BETH PARKER

Horoscopes for hipsters

CHORONG KIM

WILLIAM WORKMAN

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VOLUME 66 ISSUE 15

DANIEL KIM

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November 21, 2013

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