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Collaborate Tools/Tips

Developing High Performance Teams

With Dr. Sherene McHenryFully Engaged, LLC

[email protected]

Key Concepts• One of the deepest human needs is to feel valued

and appreciated.

• Relationships deteriorate when people don’t.

• Negative behaviors ensue.

• People feel valued, appreciated and motivated when they are spoken to in their language

Chapman’s Love Languages• Are as different as–Chinese– English– French–German– Spanish

• Miscommunication occurs when individuals communicate in different languages.

Five Languages

AffirmationFeel valued and motivated when they receive compliments,

verbal appreciation and encouragement.

Quality TimeFeel valued and motivated when receiving undivided,

focused attention, quality conversation and shared activities.

GiftsFeel valued and motivated when given gifts that show the giver appreciates what they’ve done or knows them well enough to know what they like.

Service• Feel valued and motivated when others see what needs

to be done and do it without having to be asked.

Physical Touch• Feel valued and motivated when they receive meaningful

physical contact they enjoy.

Can People Be More Than One?

Everyone has a primary language, most have a secondaryAll five are nice and generally appreciated, but we would

feel great sadness if we never heard our language againWe tend to express love, value and appreciation in our

primary languageWe feel most valued, appreciated and loved when

communicated with in our primary language

Identify Your Language• When was the last time you knew someone (boss,

coworker, spouse, child, friends…) appreciated you? How did you know?

• How do you let others know you appreciate and value them?

• What “hurts” do you still carry with you?• What do you withdraw when you are hurt, angry or

feeling unappreciated?• What do you most often ask others for?• What do you most often complain about not getting?

• Individuals long to feel valued, respected and appreciated.

• The happiest, most loyal people (customers, employees, co-workers, spouses, children...) are regularly spoken to in their primary language.

• It is a choice to speak the language of the receiver.• The mark of a mature adult is the ability to speak all 5

languages

Based on The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, Northfield Press.

Free Love Language Tool

Email [email protected] for your copy of From the Horse’s Mouth: The Five Love Languages Cheat Sheet Guide.