Non-verbal communicatio n
Non-verbal communication
Metacommunication and Paralanguage
Non-verbal communication is anything other than words that communicates a message.
The way we stand, walk, shrug our shoulders; the clothes we wear, the car we drive, or the office we occupy; all communicate ideas to others.
All these things which we take into account in interpreting what someone is saying, over and the actual words, are referred to as ‘metacommunication’.
‘meta’ is Greek and means ‘beyond or ‘in addition’; hence, metacommunication is something ‘in addition to communication’.
However, if you get additional communication from the inflection of her voice, then she communicated this by means of what we call ‘paralanguage’.
Frequently paralanguage conveys the opposite of the words themselves.
When this happens, we usually pick up the meaning of the paralanguage rather than the language being used
‘its not what he says, but the way he says it’.
Non-verbal channels are the ones which seem to be least aware in ourselves, but most aware in others
lets have a look at the non-verbal language of
-silence -time and -body language
The language of Silence
You think you have made a fabulous speech and you ask your audience to ask any questions – there is pin-drop silence in the hall. How do you feel?
“silence is golden’, so the saying goes, but is it?
A long period of silence may be golden for some people in certain circumstances, but at times it can be embarrassing and even rude
It could be boredom, rejection, disagreement, total satisfaction,…very ambiguous!
We are social creatures and our society is made up of responses to each other. We keep on seeking reassurances
One of the cruelest social punishments is ‘solitary confinement’
Silence builds walls- and walls are barriers to communication.
At times silence can bean effective technique in encouraging feedback, or a real two-way communication
Silence is a powerful tool of communication, but it must be used skillfully
The language of Time
It is easy to assume that we all experience time in much the same way
After all an hour is an hourYet time is experienced differently by
different nationalities, societies, and cultures.
There is a Christian calendar, Muslim calendar, Hindu calendar and so on
Even in the same culture different communities will divide time into different time periods.
Different businesses have different weeks, seasons.
Different professions have different time scales
Markets, schools/colleges, tourist seasons, courts, agriculture…
Different people attach different value to time
‘one minute’, ‘never’, ‘as soon as possible’, ‘let’s call it a day’,
For some 9a.m. is sharp 9a.m. while for the others it could be 10a.m., or 11a.m. or even later
Time is also used to show eagerness, interest, enthusiasm, attitude, seriousness…
There are cultural differences in the uses of time, which a business traveler should be aware of
At luncheon meetings the business is discussed either before, during, or after depending on that country’s culture
Local customs, cultures, manners, etiquettes and such, vary from place to place, caste, creed, religion, income, education, lifestyles, social status… the variances are too many
Body language or kinesics
A favorite sport of many people is ‘people watching’ or, Desmond Morris has called his very popular book, ‘manwatching’
What do you do when you are waiting on a railway platform, alone or at a busy doctors clinic…
Possibly you can’t hear, so you are actually listening/hearing/reading their body language
Whether we are aware of it or not, each of us spends a lot of time decoding body language, or as it also known as ‘kinesics’
The non-verbal communications often come through louder than the words that are actually being spoken and are frequently the means by which we reveal the emotional side of our communications.
The non-verbal messages of a speaker tend to reveal the degree of presence of sincerity, conviction, honesty, ability and knowledge; they reveal, too, a lot about the speaker and their attitude and feelings about the message they are transmitting.
Body language of the receiver also reveals a lot about them and their feelings
But, more important, it frequently tells the speaker the extent to which their audience is accepting or not accepting the message.
In other words, body language provides instant feedback to the speaker and tells them how they are doing.
It is needless to state that to be a good body language reader you have to sharpen your powers of observation
Space
Before we try to understand the movements of the various parts of the body, we should first examine our attitude to the space in which that movement takes place.
Just the way silence and time speak, so does space.
Not only does space affect the way we communicate, but we use space to communicate
Each of us have space we feel is our own
‘the three bears’ story examples
Boss’s room/chairMom and dad’s bedroomJuniors hostelP.G. classLadies lineMembers enclosure…
Space and status
Your room- boss’s roomSmall car- big car1bhk-3bhkNapean sea road- DharaviLLIM- IIM-A
Territory
Seashore- towelTrain seat- hankyTable no. 1Front/back bench
Assignment
How do you in a hypothetical situation stake your claim on a particular territory?
How do you feel when people invade into your territory?
Personal space
Intimate distancePersonal distanceSocial distancePublic distance
Touch
Touch is probably the earliest form of communication and still is. However , society/cultures/surroundings/upbringing…bring in inhibitions
Orientation and posture
We can influence communication and signal our attitude not just by our proximity to others but by the position and posture we adopt.
Body language or kinesics
ExerciseLook at the drawings on the
board. Which of the following adjectives describes which posture?
• Angry
AloofAshamedCasualDescribingDominatingDoubtfulImpatientModestQuestioningangry
SadSelf-consciousResignedSelf-satisfiedShySurprisedSuspiciousUndecidedUninterested
Psychologists findings
Posture 1UninterestedDescribingResignedDoubtfulQuestioning
Posture2Self-satisfiedImpatientDescribingCasualAngry
Posture 3ShySelf-consciousAshamedModestSad
Posture 4SurprisedDominatingSuspiciousUndecidedAloof
Head nodsWe shake our heads up and down or
from one side to anotherIn some instances it is done at different
speedsThere are many reasons and
implicationsCould be a yes, no, go on, I want to
intervene and speak, encouragement, disagreement, agreement and so on…
Facial expressionsOf all body movements, facial expressions are
the ones we are most able to controlA person’s face provides a commentary on
the reactions- surprise, disbelief, agreement, disappointment, anger and so on
At times there is a mis-match between the verbal words and facial expressions
If this is combined with body movements it becomes that much more complimented
Eye movements
In contrast to other body signals, movements of the eyes have an effect quite out of proportion to the physical effort exerted
Some eye movements are quite uncontrollable but nevertheless send out very strong messages which we receive almost without being aware of them.
They perform many functions…
To indicate interest
When two people are engaged in conversation they look each other in the eye intermittently
Usually each looks between 25 and 75 percent of the time
The glances vary in length but we tend to look twice as much while listening as while talking
The amount of look is related to the amount and kind of interest; if we are interested in someone or what they are saying we will look at them, whereas we will tend to direct our gaze away if we are uninterested
At times, long periods of looking may indicate a desire for intimacy
When a general glance in a train or a lift or a public place becomes a second glance and then a stare it means more than just a passing interest
To gain feedback
People look primarily to obtain information: to get reactions, to gauge their interests
Believability, truth, confidence and such things get justified
To synchronies speech
Eye movements, like head nods and grunts, are also used to synchronies speech.
They need to see how the other person is reacting, thereby continue with modifications if necessary