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Nids Love Big EyesNids Love Big EyesNids Love Big EyesNids Love Big Eyes
By Claire Berry
All creatures weird and wonderful, And theyre talking about us
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Chapter One
Once upon a time there was a beautiful valley where all the animals
lived together in perfect peace and harmony.
Well, almost.
Since eating was the most important activity, virtually the only activity,
killings did happen, blood was spilled. Nature red in tooth and hoof, the
animals would nod when someones daughter was despatched by a hungry
leopard. That was the way things were and everyone accepted that if you
were in the wrong place at the right time for a hungry aardvark, it was your
tough luck. If one of your kids had his head bitten off by a newt, you simply
went out and made a few more and that was that. When the lion had eaten a
lifetimes worth of zebra, he in turn was eaten by the ants, who were eaten by
the aardvark and so on and so forth. There were rules of course, everyone
made a contribution and nobody took more than his fair share, and because
they were blessed to live in the most beautiful valley in the very centre of the
universe, the animals of Giggletree counted themselves the most fortunate of
beasts and lived each day as though it were their last.
Which for many of them, it was.
It was a good life for the animals, the sun came up and the moon went
down, plants burst out and babies were born. It became hot and rained every
day and after a while it became cold and dry and there was no food. Some of
the animals died, others ate things theyd never previously thought of. Then
at last delicate green shoots burst forth, followed by the babies, and round
and round it went in an endless reassuring loop that could be counted on
never to change. Occasionally there was something unusual like snow, and
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the time the giraffe was struck by lighting, but mostly, life went on very much
as normal, whatever that was.
Then the Nids arrived.
In the beginning, there werent many of them. The animals laughed,
some even felt sorry for them. They had no fur to keep them warm, except a
tiny patch on the head. Some were a sensible mahogany colour suited to the
scorching sun, while others were pale and pink. They were absolutely
useless at defending themselves. They had no hide,fur or carapace and
worse than that, no claws to speak of although some of the females had
talons with berry-red tips. Their bones were pliable and chewy and they
tasted a bit like chicken. Strangest of all, their teeth were hidden inside their
mouths, and from time to time they would bare them at each other and not
even fight. They were delicate and hapless and they succumbed to the
mosquitoes without a fight.
All the animals agreed that the Nids werent real animals although they
resembled the monkeys to an extraordinary degree. The monkeys were
anxious to retain their reputation and refused to believe they were even part of
the same genus, although all the evidence was there, two legs, head looking
forward, arms dangling.
Youre all related, said Uncle Lemon decisively in an attempt to put to
end to a squabble between the bush babies and gibbons that threatened to
turn ugly. Bush babies are prosimians, which means youre primates, but not
Nids. Gibbons are technically hominids of the lesser variety and you
baboons, Im afraid to say are definitely hominids. Youre all related, look at
your thumbs!
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Were not Nids, the baboons insisted, sitting on their hands.
Some of the animals were curious, friendly, hungry, foolhardy, they
looked through the windows of the Nids shelters. Lured by exotic smells they
nosed their way through the doors. When they got too close, a banga
sounded, loud enough to send an owl spinning into orbit. A while later, they
would fall over with a sigh, tongues dangling. The Nids took their bodies and
cut them open, tore off the skin and hung it up to dry. Sometimes they used
the skin to cover their own soft, defenceless hides or used them as floor
coverings for their homes. Sometimes they killed things and didnt even eat
them, and the body of someones mother was buzzed for days by vultures
and flies, until the ants carried it away and only bones were left. It was
barbaric, and nobody knew why it was happening, but everybody hoped it
would soon be over, that things would go back to normal.
Whatever that was.
Not all of the animals remembered the way things were, some had
only been born an hour or a day ago, but there was a general feeling that
things were better in the past and even better in the very distant past and that
the best times of all were when the world began.
Opposable thumbs, Uncle Lemon said. Thats our problem. Our
thumbs are fantastic for stripping the soft leaves off a branch or emptying a
tasty pumpkin, but not much use for anything else.
Who knew that thumbs would make such a difference? Who knew
that things would never be the same again?
XXX
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From the depths of the desert where gemsbok trudged across searing
sand, a spring bubbled up from a long dry riverbed and trickled feebly through
a sandblasted landscape of camel thorn and euphorbia, butter tree, and
butternut. The trickle of water met a fellow trickle and over the miles the
thousand trickles became a river that meandered and dawdled and dallied
until the ground began its long slow slope towards the sea, picking up speed,
swirling and foaming and boiling over boulders and rocks. Up and over it
went, eddying into a gorge ringed with corkwood and jackalberry, twittering
with butterflies, cackling with loeries and heaving with lichens and orchids.
The gentle green landscape of love grass and milkwood calmed the
river and with one last flirtation of a waterfall, it flowed into a basin, which
thousands of animal feet had stamped deep and wide over the years. From
this monstrous bath dish, it trickled out into the savannah, a thousand trickles
ribboning the horizon.
One day, Uncle Lemon reclined on a branch in his favourite fever tree,
sunning himself, feeling the warmth seep through his chromatophones,
stirring up his melanophores, melting his bones like honey from a hive. It was
a day as perfect as it was possible to be, the sun glowed and there was just
enough of a breeze across the river to cool his belly, which was comfortably
distended by the juicy grasshopper hed just finished. He felt slightly guilty
about eating the whole thing, hed meant to take just a bite and leave the rest
for later, but it was such a lovely day with the dappled light on the leaves, the
flurry of white butterflies and heaving of insects on the mossy forest floor. The
whole universe vibrated with thrumming, buzzing life.
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Suddenly he realised the thrumming was not the universe at all, but
something else, the quivering quaking, clanking of a monstrous vibrating
machine, rumbling over the rocks and crashing through trees. A massive
something darted through the trees, moving faster than any living creature
could imagine, a creature the size of an elephant, with no trunk, or legs or
even ears for that matte. Apart from the noise, there was the smell, even at a
distance it make the nose sting. A flock of weavers rose like a cloud from
their vast nest as the creature roared past the Big Baobab, sending springbok
skittering giddily into the bushes. It seemed to be heading along the river to
the waterhole where a few drowsy wildebeest raised their heads, beards
dripping. The creature slowed before the steep slope of the basin and
shuddered to a stop with a venomous hiss. An arm swung out, and the
strangest pink ape-like thing climbed out and jumped to the ground. Uncle
Lemon rubbed his eyes, perhaps he should not have eaten the grasshopper
after snacking on termites all morning. He blinked hard, he was surely seeing
things. There had never been Nids in the valley, one had heard the stories of
course, mostly wild rumour and innuendo, but here they were climbing out of
their horrible machine and standing around, making noises to each other,
baring their teeth and not even fighting.
One of the Nids, a very round, well-fed Nid, made a loud Nid noise and
they began to scurry around like ants before a storm, zithering this way and
that, fetching poles and planks from the creature, carrying them with their
opposable thumbs and dropping them on the ground underneath a huge
syringa tree. Uncle Lemon feared for the Nids if they dared to touch that tree,
it wasnt just any old syringa, it was The Syringa, the biggest syringa for miles
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around. It was Ingwe the leopards favourite tree, her home, her castle. She
was away in the Blue Mountains, hunting for donkeys, and had said she
would be gone for some time, which could mean anything from ten sunup-
downs to a whole summer. She always came back, Ingwe was indestructible.
The Nids were obviously not too bright, they seemed inordinately
interested in the tree, they touched it, looked up into its branches. One of
them picked up a branch of some sort that began a tremendous buzzing noise
that jangled the nerves. The Nid held the instrument against one of the
branches, and it fell to the ground as thought by some strange magic.
Uncle Lemon lurched into action. His eyes, like everything about him,
werent what they were and he hoped fervently that he really was seeing
things. He shimmied down the tree, which in chameleon terms meant two
steps forward, one step back, hand over hand, limbs creaking, vacillating over
every stilted step. The fastest he could go was a short scurry on flat ground
and it annoyed him that while the mind could soar like an eagle, the body
could do little but inch past the tortoise, who was also on his way to see what
the noise was all about. And not only was the mind yoked to the body, but
instinct trumped urgency, he paused to snap up a juicy fly, before hauling
himself painstakingly onto the Big Rock.
Kitiki, the meerkat, was already there with her little brother clinging to
her legs. The waterhole was deserted, animals huddled in the bushes and
watched as the Nid sliced through the tree like a hornbill through a banana.
The branches tumbled to the ground with a sickening crash, letting in a
stream of sunlight that made the crocodiles blink. Nobody knew what to think.
I cant look, Kitiki said, putting her hands over her eyes.
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I dont want to be here when Ingwe gets back, said Kitiki. That trees
been in her family for generations. Someone needs to tell her, someone has
to go and find her, prepare her gently, you know. Its such a shock to lose
your home like that.
She hoped Uncle Lemon would ask for a volunteer so that she could
go on her big adventure, the one she was so anxious to experience before it
was too late. Shed heard all about the Blue Mountains, they were full of Nids
in bright clothes sliding over very cold ice with long shoes tied to their feet,
going nowhere in particular. According to Ingwe, they climbed up the highest
peak, slid down and climbed up again, slid down and climbed up again, all
day long, up and down going nowhere. Mighty strange, the animals thought,
but they had long since given up trying to figure out what the Nids with their
extraordinary thumbs were up to.
Marilyn appeared from the shadows like a phantom. Shes my
mother, Ill find her.
Nobody has to go, Uncle Lemon insisted, she always comes back,
nobody has to go.
Marilyn pretended not to hear, and as he watched her spotty rump slink
into the bushes he wondered what use it was to be the Leader when nobody
listened, and saying something twice was no use at all.
Since none of the animals had a sensible Plan B at hand, the most
they could do was closely monitor any other dcor changes the Nids might
have in mind.
Days went by, and still Ingwe did not return. The animals were kept
awake day and night with the banging and hammering of the Nids and the
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infernal buzzing of the tree slicer. Their noxious elephant went up and down
the hills, fetching sticks to build their shelter. It wasnt any ordinary shelter like
the monkeys would build, it was bigger than anything they had ever seen, with
a platform all the way around and a long walkway of wood that led to another
platform which stretched out, oh horrors over the watering hole, where the
animals went to mingle and chat, and for some of the more sneaky ones,
snatch a meal.
The noise and lack of sleep made the animals snappish and irritable.
The nocturnals foraged bleary-eyed during the heat of the day and were
picked off like plums by the cheetah. The bush babies woke up ten times a
day, taking off expectantly through the trees before they realised the sun was
still up. It played havoc with the digestion, and worse than that was the arrival
of a number of new animals to the territory, refugees displaced by the Nids
activities. The Eastern lions were forced to move into Big Willies territory and
a vicious fight was as sure at nuts were delicious. Nobody was in the mood
for the usual levity and jollity, and with no opposable thumbs and in some
cases no thumbs at all, the animals were powerless to do anything but watch
and wait.
One day, Jane, decided to lighten things up and have a little fun with
the Nids. She was once was a pet in a Nid house, shed eaten Nid food and
been dressed in Nid skins by small Nid children before she made herself so
objectionable theyd dumped her on the side of the road. Jane was an
invaluable fount of wisdom on Nid related oddities. Some of the things she
said were so outlandish, so impossible to reconcile with logic and reason that
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the animals listened politely, their heads reeling. Shed thought up most of
their names and was universally considered an expert on all of Nid.
She didnt seem the least bit frightened of them, she swung languidly
from tree to tree right at the edge of where the Nids were banging and
hammering, and as she reached the last of the trees, pretended to lose her
grip and she scrambled and somersaulted through the branches before
landing on her feet in front of them with a flourish. To the surprise of the
animals watching, the Nids didnt pick up the banga sticks and blast a red
flower in her chest. They put their hands on their hips and moved their
shoulders around, baring their teeth, without fighting.
Jane made the most of it, swinging up and down on the platform,
pulling faces and making rude noises with parts of her body. Astonishingly,
the Nids did nothing but bare their teeth and not fight. One of them held a
small black box to his face, which made the clicking sound of a cricket.
Someone threw a banana at her, she caught it expertly and scuttled into the
bushes to eat it in private.
Her antics succeeded in restoring some of the humour in the valley but,
on balance, they were not happy, not happy at all. Uncle Lemon was
continually pressed to hold gatherings for some special interest group or the
other, all complaining bitterly.
They can see my babies bathing, griped the hippo. All our privacy is
gone.
I have to go all the way around the acacia trees to get to my cousin
Freds place, Handbag the rhino grumbled. My bunions have been
particularly troublesome and this Nid home is right in the middle of my
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favourite shortcut. The other path is full of pebbles and my shins are full of
cuts and scratches, not to mention the flies.
You can mention flies, said Uncle Lemon, flicking his tongue. It was
almost time to eat, there was a glut of midges and unsuspecting baby flies
would be trying their wings in a minute or two. If he did not move fast, hed
miss out on the bounty.
I really think I had better go and look for Ingwe and Marilyn, said
Kitike in a small concerned voice.
Dont you have kittens to look after? Uncle Lemon said, and it gave
him a pang when she dropped her head meekly and walked despondently
away. He sighed, it seemed that there was always one lone individual who
had to defy her species, break out of the chains of her genus. He didnt know
why it was like that, but he knew they didnt last that long. Standing out from
the herd was not a useful survival strategy in the owl eat mouse world in
which they lived.
The monkeys were despatched to spy on the Nids, who seemed to find
the antics of their relatives adorable. They returned each day with outlandish
stories that could barely be believed. The other animals decided enhancing a
story for dramatic effect was a monkey.
They hold this up to their faces and drink whats inside, Jane
explained, turning over an object shed purloined with her opposable thumbs.
She put the object on the ground, and the animals gathered around to
examine it. It was hard on the outside, but inside was something like water.
She picked up a rock and smacked it against the object and it shattered into
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pieces, spilling a liquid onto the ground that stung the eyes, and smelled of
fermented apples.
The Nids do fight, weve seen them said one of the monkeys, his
eyes stretched to their whites by what hed seen, But they dont bare their
teeth and put on much of a display, theyre sneaky that way. After theyve
been fighting, they cuddle together and slap each other on the back, and then
they howl. Then they fall over and in the morning, they wake up very slowly
and howl again.
There was only one Nid who looked as though she might be female,
who seemed to be the mate of the small round Nid. Perhaps that was why
they howled like that and fought with one another, the animals mused.
Nid behaviour was both baffling and entertaining. They set sticks on
fire, put them in their mouths, and seemed quite happy like that. They were
very fond of water and washed themselves all over every single day in
waterholes they built inside their houses. They grew no food and never
seemed to forage but their giant machines brought them an endless supply of
fruits, some of which the animals had never seen before. They tossed these
out at the monkeys, and soon the inevitable happened. The word went
around that titbits were to be had, and the invasion began.
An old aunt arrived with her son, and his cousin and brother and soon
there were so many arriving daily to entertain the Nids with cute antics and
partake of the bounty, that the platform became perilously crowded. After a
while the Nids seemed to tire of the game and instead of throwing out treats,
began to throw rocks. The monkeys quickly learned what to do and threw the
rocks back at the Nids, and soon once again, the dreadful banga noise was
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heard across the valley and that was the end of the monkeys spy activities.
Also the end of the old aunt, but at least some of the Nids had the grace to eat
her.
Pisi, the hyena swore that they made rain come out of the grass. She
was adamant that, while doing important investigative spy work on the
container outside the Nids house, she had seen with her own two eyes real
actual rain coming upwards out of the grass. It didnt seem possible, even for
the Nids, who seemed to make excellent use of their opposable thumbs.
One morning, Todi the bush baby, rooting under a cushion bush to
feed the cravings of the wrigglings she had in her belly that would soon be
endlessly hungry babies, she heard a sound like an antelope being strangled.
It was Ingwe, the tall speckled queen of the forest stepped gingerly from the
shadows on aching paws. One of her ears was ripped into tatters and her tail
had a strange kink in it. Her head hung low as she stumbled towards the Big
Rock, putting one weary paw and then another onto the ledge and heaving
herself up.
She had a fight with a Big Willie, said Marilyn coming up beside Todi.
Showed him whos king of the beasts, thats my mom.
Hey, said the mom, staring at the sky where her tree used to be,
panting heavily, her powerful shoulders heaving. What the , my tree, who
took my tree?
She leapt around and faced the animals narrowing her eyes
menacingly.
Wheres my tree, if someones taken it I want it back, right this instant.
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Oh Ingwe, Kitiki said in a tiny voice, we wanted to warn you, the Nids
came and cut it down.
My tree? Ingwe roared, What Nids? This is a Nid-free zone, how did
Nids get in here and cut down my tree and put up that grotesque display?
Now Im cross, now Im furious, now Im really really mad.
She leapt from the rock and began to walk along the path that skirted
the water hole and led to the dip where the water was shallow enough for a
crossing to the other side with minimal wetting of feet.
No, no, Kitiki cried, running alongside her. Theyll catch you, and ...
youll be a coat.
A pair of shoes, a passing crocodile remarked with a shiver.
Come back, lets talk about it, Uncle Lemon said, hopping behind, but
Ingwe would not listen, she paused briefly to investigate an intriguing scent on
a wild mango tree and continued along the path as if she was in no hurry at
all.
It had been a long journey and shed been longing to sit in her tree with
its perfect view of the waterhole, up above the other animals. Call the lion the
king of the beasts, she scoffed, she was empress supreme when she sat in
her tree. The blood pounded in her brain at the thought that her beautiful tree
was now gone.
One of the Nids saw her coming and froze, the hammering stopped
and an eerie silence echoed over the valley. The Nids stood motionless,
paralysed; even the frogs stopped in mid-croak. Ingwe paused to nibble on a
flea on her ankle and continued her saunter up the path.
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Ingwe strolled up to the Nids who stood rigid with fear. She bunched
up the muscles in her neck, took a breath from the very depths of her lungs
and gave a spine-chilling growl. Fine hairs stood up on necks all over the
valley.
Whos in charge here, she roared, I want to speak to the person
whos responsible for this this vandalism. Without a by your leave, you
people have cut down my tree and I want it back, you hear me, exactly where
it was right now.
She stepped relentlessly forward and the Nids shrunk back, each trying
to manoeuvre himself behind the other. It was too easy, she thought, they did
nothing but stand there rooted to the earth, staring at her with their round
strange eyes. Not one of them tried to break away and run for it so that the
game could commence. They just stared as though that alone would strike
fear in the heart of the empress supreme. They offered no challenge at all,
and to be honest, she didnt think they looked particularly tasty, but having
made her stand, she had to carry through no matter what.
Cluck the guinea fowl in a vain attempt to distract them leapt into the
air and ran across the veld, bouncing through the glass clucking and bouncing
and hopping from one leg to the other.
Me, me, here, here, catch me, she said, leaping and flapping, Im
delicious, tender and tasty. You hang me in a tree for a few days, with
marinade, nothing too pungent, rosemary and kooboo berry leaves. Catch
me. Shes stringy and tough, she runs around all day. Me, me, catch me.
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A loud banga echoed across the valley, sending the springbok
scudding into the bushes. A thrill of terror ran through the animals, especially
those who had never heard the sound before.
Ingwe leapt back, her claws scrambling in the dust, her feet twisted
beneath her. She tried to leap forward, but a bloom of blood now dashed the
front of her chest. She stretched out her neck, gave an agonised cry, then her
tail swung and graceful arc and she lay herself gently on the ground.
Oh no, Todi said, covering her belly with her hands, feeling the little
kicks and twitches of her soon-to-be offspring.
Mom! Marilyn cried, rushing forward, but Uncle Lemon stepped in her
way, lifting a long green finger.
Marilyn, listen to me, we dont need another death. This is nature red
in tooth and hoof, we cant confront them directly.
One of the Nids nudged Ingwes prone body with his foot. He crouched
down next to her, and pulled up her lip to show the perilous fangs. Another
picked up her kinked tail and they dragged her into their shelter. Before long
her lovely glossy spotted coat hung dripping from a tree.
After Ingwes death, a strange ennui settled over the animals. Life
carried on as almost normal, but there was a simmering anxiety that would not
go away. Everyone was too depressed to come up with a Plan B.
Stick your head in the sand, was the ostrichs advice, works for us.
XXX
One day, the Nids filed out of their structure, climbed into their
elephant, it rumbled up the hill and an eerie silence descended on the valley.
It never came back.
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At first the animals were suspicious. Why would the Nid build a
splendid structure and not live in it? It made no sense. They resisted the
impulse to take a closer look at the Nid house and drank from the water hole
with an anxious eye up on the platform. The tension eased slowly, some of
the bonhomie returned, but it was too good to last and everyone knew it.
Next to the Nid structure was a piece of wood with Nid lettering on it.
Towel, who was the only animal who could read, circled it and squinted at the
letters.
Giggletree Lodge, he said.
Giggletree Lodge, asked Uncle Lemon, what does it mean?
Giggletree plus Lodge, said Towel, who didnt know what it meant
either.
XXX
Pisi the hyena was about to take a stroll around the Nids deserted
structure where an enticing smell of delicious Nid debris wafted across the
river, when she heard a familiar vibration. Down the hill came one of the Nids
infernal machines, although this one was less an elephant than a giant
caterpillar. It roared past the Baobab Tree, belching black fumes into the
weavers nest and came to a screeching halt in front of the Nid structure. Pisi
realised with horror that not only were the Nids back, but they had brought
others, lots of others, a line of Nids streamed out of the caterpillar. They
looked like the usual Nids except they all had black hair and each one carried
a little black box against his chest, which he held to his face, and the clicking
sound it made seemed to be a source of great satisfaction to them, because
they faced each other with these boxes held up to their eyes, and clicked,
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they opened their mouths wide showing tiny teeth, and clicked, they made
gurgling sounds and slapped each other on the arm or back and clicked
again. After a few minutes of this, they filed into the Nid shelter, disappearing
from sight.
Well thats just great, grumbled Pisi, more Nids, just what we need.
Even if we pick them off one by one, there seems to be an endless supply
where they came from.
Unless youve got a plan B, young lady, theres nothing to do but sit
and wait, Xammi the lion snarled.
Pisi rounded on him, jaws snapping.
You big bad lion you, king of the beasts, she spat, why dont you do
something. Go and eat one of them for instance, but no, you get your
lionesses to do all the work so you dont mess up your mane.
Oh right, when theres the risk of losing a major limb, its we boys that
have to go out there while you chickens park on your fat bums at home.
Chickens? Pisi shrieked.
Alright you two, said Uncle Lemon, there will be no eating of Nids.
The sudden Nid influx was a worry and nerves were drawn taut as the
skin of a gecko after a post rainstorm bug buffet.
In the late afternoon, as the sun dipped over the horizon unleashing
streaks of purple, gold and pink, the Nids filed out of the structure along the
walkway and onto the platform that stretched out over the waterhole. They
wore body skins of flowery colours and they gabbled at each other, waving
their arms and baring their teeth.
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Handbag decided at that moment to saunter down to the water for a
drink. Apart from her bunions, shed had a mouthful too many fermented
custard berries, and her head was pounding in a low thrum. She picked her
way delicately down the hill, her bulk swaying from side to side.
Ow, ow, sharp thorn, she muttered peering myopically through the
bush.
Something strange happened to the Nids when she came into sight.
They leapt to their feet with excited cries, flung the black boxes against their
eyes and clicked like the crickets at the annual dung beetle ball match.
Oh relax, said Handbag looking up to see what the commotion was all
about, its just me having a drink.
She was pleased that the Nids had noticed her extraordinary beauty,
sadly a little depleted now, but still quite magnificent for her age. She turned
her photogenic side towards where they were standing, and a great ooh
sounded. She turned to the other side, which quite frankly she did think of as
her best profile, it put her magnificent curving horn on full display. The
clicking from the Nids was positively desperate.
A group of blesbok clustered at the water hole, and despite their
attractive markings, and delicate curving horns, the Nids didnt even look at
them. One of the warthogs slipped into the water and rolled over onto her
back with her legs sticking adorably into the air, but the Nids didnt look at her
either.
Suddenly there was another outbreak of excitement amongst the Nids.
Crunchy, one of the elephants appeared and they turned away from Handbag
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and began clicking at Crunchy. He filled his trunk and poured a stream of
cool water onto his back, waving his ears and closing his eyes in bliss.
After a few minutes of elephant excitement, the Nids calmed down,
their excited cries were muted. They turned as one to watch something in the
grass, a large buffalo nosed his way through the trees, his horns crashing
away the branches in his path. It was Yatsi and he paused for a moment to
shake his monstrous head from side to side, which set up another round of
excitement amongst the Nids.
A red-billed oxpecker perched on Yatsis neck and drilled his beak into
the thick skin.
Youre one of the Big Five, he said.
Is that some sort of club? Yatsi asked.
Theyre the animals the Nids really like, I heard it from Jane. Out of all
the millions of animals, youre in the top five.
I see, said Yatsi, delighted that at last his unique qualities were being
appreciated.
Their interest in the hippos was desultory at best, the zebras barely
registered a flurry of clicks and the crocodiles were completely ignored. Then
along came Ingwes lovely daughter Marilyn, slipping out of her tree and
slithering down the rocks towards the water, her dazzling skin rippling with
each step. The Nids made the sound of a low moan and the clicking began.
Big Five? Xammi the lion said, tossing his tawny mane. Ill give
them Big Five.
He strolled up to the Big Rock and heaved himself up. He could see
himself reflected in the water and he had to admit he cut a fine figure. His
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ears were a little bitten around the edges, and his nose was, well, large. He
had to admit hed put on a few pounds, that his waistline sagged, but he did
think the extra bulk added a certain gravitas to his bearing. He was
undoubtedly what he was, the king of the beasts and worthy, yes worthy of
the adulation of even these pathetic pink creatures. He loosened his neck,
stretched his back legs, and bunched up the muscles so that they rippled to
rigid, threatening attention. He threw his black-tipped mane out of his eyes,
drew a deep breath and roared a mighty magnificent lion roar that frightened
the snakes right out of their skins and sent every creature in a two mile radius
skittering into the undergrowth.
The Nids forgot Handbag, they forgot the elephant, they forgot the
buffalo and the bird, and even Ingwes lovely daughter. The king of the
beasts roared and the sound shook the trees, the stones, the rocks and the
composure of the giraffe, who pitched forward into the water on her nose.
Lordy, said Uncle Lemon, watching him preen and pose. This is not
good. Not good at all.
XXX
It got worse.
It was all about the big five as far as the Nids were concerned, they
barely glanced at the jackals, completely ignored the springbok, despite their
charming leaping and bouncing, and didnt even raise their heads when the
aardvark came bustling out of her hole with her cherubic baby clinging to her
back. It was a poor state of affairs to say the least.
Xammi had his nose so far up in the air he was constantly tripping over
the gerbils.
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Watch where youre going klutzy, they cried as he came running
along with his mane streaming out behind him.
Out of my way, peons, he said contemptuously. Youre not even in
the top five thousand.
The elephants roped their kids into the show, little Macauley was
herded into the water and sponged off, whether he needed it or not.
The zebras seethed with resentment at all the attention the rhinos were
getting.
Were also odd-toed ungulates but you dont see the Nids falling over
themselves to click their boxes at us, they snapped.
One day, Pisi was walking along the path to the waterhole, keeping an
eye out for any hooves or ears or other Xammi leftovers when she came to a
strange structure blocking the road. It was a boom of some sort, and next to it
was an officious little newt.
Stop, the newt said, where are you going?
Where am I going? Pisi said, barely able to suppress a giggle that
bubbled up through her lips. Youre asking me, Pisi, queen of the hyena
where I am going?
Thats right. This is a restricted area between sunrise and sunset.
Youre not allowed.
She thought about biting his head off, it wouldnt be difficult, but shed
done it once, eaten one of them and they really did taste like chicken, but with
millions of little bones, shed been picking them out of her teeth for weeks.
A restricted area, therefore some come in and others not, she
scoffed.
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Exactly, said the newt. We cant have all these non-big-five riff raff
passing through the big five zone, dropping orange peels and making the
place look untidy. Youre getting in the way.
I see, Pisi said. And how to you suppose I am supposed to get a
drink then.
You have to go back the way you came until the path forks. Take a
left at the neem tree, follow the path between the sneezewoods and if you
meet any of your relatives or other Non-Big Fives, tell them not to try and
sneak past, Im taking names.
Thats really funny, Pisi said with a malicious smirk, and she lunged
for the newt, jaws snapping. She caught his tail, but it came off in her mouth
and the rest of him scurried up a slippery rock, and into a crevasse.
Youre not allowed in there, he squeaked, Its a restricted VIP area.
Its the regulations, its compulsory.
I, Pisi, queen of the hyena do not accept Nid notions of what is
beautiful and what is not worthy of their regard. We all live here, whether
weve got big moist eyes and a cute fur coat. Now excuse me, Im going to
have a drink.
She stepped delicately over his carefully constructed barrier and
continued down the road. When he was sure she was gone, the newt
slithered down the rock and as he returned to his post, he saw his boom
disappearing into the forest in the jaws of an otter.
It got worse.
Yatsi became so insufferable the oxpecker refused to peck his ticks.
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See if I care, Yatsi said, tossing his horns, but late at night the
animals saw him in the caterpillar bushes, frantically scratching his
inaccessible itches.
The elephant churned up the water so such a degree with photogenic
trunk action that some of the animals moved upstream, which put pressure on
those upstream to move even further upstream. The impala found hippos
shuffling around their doorstep, making noise all night while they were trying
to sleep.
Youre just jealous, Handbag told the aardvark, when they
complained that the stamping and posing was compacting the ground and
making it difficult for them to burrow.
Youre just jealous, said Xammi when Kitiki pointed out that the huge
creature with their many windows in which the Nids had arrived, had been
joined by another one and another one, and that the few visitors had turned
into a crowd, jostling each other for space on the platform and spilling onto the
grass that sloped down to the water hole. Nobody was getting much sleep.
Something had to be done.
Its time we had a meeting, said Uncle Lemon.
Meeting, said the impala to the hares.
Meeting, said the termites to the jackal.
It had been a long time since thered been a meeting. When the Nids
had first arrived and the first banga was heard in the valley, thered been a
meeting. It had not gone well, Uncle Lemon recalled. The lions tried to boss
everyone around. The herbivores didnt come because the lions were there,
and the butterfly bats boycotted because they were in a dispute with the
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lizards over a piece of prime territory. The elephants had become all huffy
over some insignificant slight and started pulling down trees, and the meeting
had degenerated into chaotic shouting and threats. When nobody was
looking, the honey badger swallowed the termite queen. At this, the ants
marched angrily back to their nest, decrying the lack of discipline.
Everybody knew that this meeting was important, that things in the
valley had changed and that they had to adapt or perish. If they were lucky
and if they came up with a decent strategy, the might fight back.
The meeting was held at the water hole after the coppery sun had slid
into the desert and the mosquitoes had driven the Nids into their shelter. As a
precaution, everybody acted natural so that if anybody was watching, all they
would see would be thirsty animals slurping water between the weeping
willows and green hair trees.
Uncle Lemon sat on the highest spot on the big rock, a spot that befit
his role as leader of the animals. Nobody remembered how he came to be
leader, if leader was the right word. He was not even close to being the
biggest animal there. He was small and green, except when he was black, or
a dullish brown, and for his species he was relatively ancient, but his authority
was absolute, everybody listened to him, even if they didnt exactly obey.
Order order, he said, pleased at the excellent turn out, the critical
nature of the proceedings had been effectively communicated down the line.
Thanks for coming everybody, we all know why were here. The Nids are
taking over our valley, if theres one thing we can do, its to stand together and
come up with a plan for getting rid of them.
Its a crisis, said the hippos, they watch us bathing and everything.
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Theyre not looking at you, Xammi sniffed, shaking his mane out of
his eyes.
Weve got to drink the muddy water downstream, moaned the jackals,
who were at seven thousand something on the list, apparently..
Youre just jealous, honey, Handbag smirked.
What about the rats? the rats said.
What about the rats? Uncle Lemon sighed.
Vermin, thats what they call us. They dont even know us; look how
clean our hands are. We do nothing but clean ourselves all day long. How
can they call us dirty?
They call us ugly, the warthogs chortled, Imagine that?
Were tasty, the antelope said. They saut us with onions.
Order, order, Uncle Lemon said.
It was happening all over again, everyone with a petty gripe, bickering
about status and rank and perception. Who cared about pecking order when
they were facing the greatest crisis of their lives.
We have a common enemy, said Uncle Lemon, lets have a bit of
discipline. You, you with the nose, put down that beetle and listen. And you,
smelly one, stop that thing you do with your leg.
I cant help it, the polecat whimpered.
Stop looking at my kids like that, the mongoose said to the eagle.
I havent done anything the eagle replied innocently, although he was
drooling onto his chest feathers, just admiring your lovely succulent children.
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I told you all to eat before the meeting, Uncle Lemon snapped. This
is not the time for base, animal appetites. How are we going to get rid of
these crowds, these infernal Nids?
We need to separate them and pick them off one by one, said
Dingding the cheetah, they dont seem to run very fast.
An ambush, the baboons said, banging their chests to be heard
above the hubbub. We lure them into the bushes and twist their heads off.
I can run into their house and poke them in the leg, said the warthog
helpfully.
We cant risk a direct attack, those banga sticks are dangerous Uncle
Lemon said. We have to be more devious and subversive. We need a
something with bite. We need to make it inconvenient for the Nids to be here,
or at least unpleasant or boring.
They put nets over their beds, the mosquitos whined, we havent had
a decent meal in weeks.
Well just eat their house up, the termites said. In fact, weve made a
start already.
Theyre here to see the big five, cackled the hadedah. If they dont
see the big five, theyll go away and everything will go back to normal.
The animals fell silent.
Thats it! You clever bird, you, Uncle Lemon cried. The big five must
hide.
Youre just jealous, honey said Handbag. Take a good look at
yourself, youre positively green.
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Oops, said the eagle, hunching his shoulders guiltily, between his lips
was the end of a furry tail, a furry baby mongoose tail. Sorry, maam, he
mumbled. Slip of the ah, tongue.
With a shriek of rage, the mother mongoose threw herself at the eagle,
fangs flashing, claws ripping, feathers drifting off in all directions.
Now stop that, Uncle Lemon said.
Nobody was listening. Xammi grinned lasciviously at Pajama, who
took off running as fast as she could and in all the excitement, the porcupine
shot a quiver of quills at the bat eared fox, which hit the oribi in the rump.
Ow, ow, why are you picking on me? she cried, taking off into the
night.
Uncle Lemon sighed. It never worked, trying to bring them all together.
That was the problem, there was no solidarity, no sacrifice for the good of the
whole. It was every jackal, rodent and pigeon for himself.
The meeting reassembled after a fashion following much argument,
status display, mock charges and bouncing around by the springbok. The
animals looked accusingly at the big five, who shifted uncomfortably.
I must admit Im getting a little sick of those silly things around me all
the time, said Marilyn, I mean, you dont want them to see you when youre
having a bad spot day, its a strain.
The kids want their own mini waterholes, the elephants complained,
its getting a bit much.
Well, alright, said Handbag, I still maintain its jealousy, but Im
getting a little fed up with them too, how do you propose that we, um, larger
animals hide when we see a Nid?
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Good question, Uncle Lemon said, thinking hard. Anyone got an
idea?
Its easy, said the baboons, turn around and show them your bum.
The baboons turned around and showed off their shiny, cherry-red
bums to the hilarity of the rest of the animals.
Handbag batted her eyelashes.
Its alright for them, but my bum isnt really my best feature, I do have
my pride, you know.
Thatll be the signal, said Uncle Lemon, when I shout show bums,
everybody turns and shows their bum to the Nids. Have you got it?
They had it and whats more, it sounded as thought it might be fun too.
It was a bold plan, but just audacious enough to stand a chance. It was
against their natural instinct when cornered to turn their back on an aggressor,
but it was becoming clear that the Nids werent really animals, or if they were,
had removed themselves so far from the other animals, there was no instinct
left. All they could do was adopt devious Nid thinking and hope for the best
The plan secured, the diurnal animals went to bed and the nocturnal
animals went foraging with a lightness of spirit they hadnt felt for some time.
XXX
The next day, as the sun peeped shyly over the horizon streaking the
sky in swirls of pink and peony, the animals took up their positions at the
watering hole. The non-big-five animals were thrilled to be able to drink
wherever they wanted and they frolicked and skittered with the joy at the
unaccustomed surprise. The mood was so infectious that Uncle Lemon
worried they might not be able to keep straight faces.
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Towel hovered over the Nids house. It didnt look that big from where
he was, a speck surrounded by wilderness. He counted himself lucky he
could see things from many angles, it made it easier to fathom the big picture,
a talent that had saved his life many times. All the other animals were rooted
to the ground, trapped while he aloft in the crisp blue morning was quite
certain there was no better place in the world to be.
He tilted a wing and began a long steady swoop towards the grassy
roof of the structure and as he hovered overhead, he saw the Nids filing out,
one by one, walking in their funny walk. He swooped over them, and one of
the Nids looked up. He could not resist twirling to show off before diving
towards the water, skimming up a mouthful, and soaring up into the limitness
sky, the sign that Uncle Lemon, sitting on the Big Rock, was waiting for.
OK, everybody, said Uncle Lemon, theyre coming, we wait until we
hear the first click then on three.
They waited, tension mounting, the hyenas couldnt stop laughing, and
since they were non-big-five animals, Uncle Lemon moved them further up hill
and put the zebras on the other side to round out the tableau. The Nids milled
aimlessly around the platform, baring their teeth at each other, yammering,
spitting, putting burning sticks in their mouths and blowing out streams of
smoke.
Handbag, ever the drama queen, sauntered down to the water until her
toes squelched in the mud and took a long, slow drink. The Nids turned to
watch her, one of them pointed, they all turned to look, black boxes were
raised, a click was heard.
One, said Uncle Lemon.
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The animals waited, the Nids clicked.
Whats after one, Uncle Lemon whispered to Kitiki.
Two four, Kitiki said.
Two Four go, said Uncle Lemon.
The animals stopped whatever they were doing, drinking, scratching
their fleas or regurgitating food for their children. They turned their faces
away from the Nids, and all the Nids could see from the platform were furry,
stripy, wrinkled and saggy bottoms.
The Nids looked at each other, scratched their heads, gabbled a bit,
the black boxes dangled silently around their necks. One of the Nids shuffled
across to the other side of the platform, and they all shuffled after him. The
animals shuffled in the opposite direction. The Nids shuffled back to the other
side of the platform, but all they could or ever would see were bottoms.
After a while, the small round Nid with the shiny head, came out and
saw what was going on. The Nids began to shout loudly at him, complaining
and waving their arms. The round Nid put his hands on his hips and looked at
the animals
Now see here you, he shouted, turn around.
He picked up a stone and threw it in the general direction of the
wildebeest, but they didnt even twitch.
Although they were dying to cavort away and laugh, all the animals
kept to their roles, except for Xammi. He had never to his knowledge agreed
to hide or show his bum. He climbed on a rock and posed, his magnificent
mane falling over his shoulders. A flurry of clicking came from the Nids.
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Thwack! A large rock plunked into the water next to where Xammi
preened.
Who threw that, he roared, brushing droplets off his glossy coat.
Get back into line and show your bum, the baboons growled, showing
fearsome curving teeth.
Youre just jealous, Xammi hissed, but he looked from the Nids sitting
high on their platform to the animals who knew where he liked to snooze in
the hot afternoons and pragmatically turned and showed his elegant rump to
the puzzled watchers.
Some of the animals enjoyed the game so much, they began to make
rude noises with the lower parts of their bodies, but Uncle Lemon put a stop to
that.
Lets not behave like Nids please, he said firmly.
XXX
After many days of turning the other cheek, the morning came when
they saw the Nids carrying their belongings out of the house and putting them
in the caterpillars. In and out they went with their innumerable bags and
boxes. The caterpillars started their earth shattering noise and a cheer went
up when they began to move, following each other up the hill, past the Big
Baobab and the camelthorn with the hovering weavers, past the marula trees
until they were out of sight.
It wasnt over yet. New Nids arrived, but the animals knew it was
important to keep up the pressure. If they werent hiding in the trees or under
the water, they were showing their bums to the Nids on the platform. The
small round Nid brought in smaller Nid machines, about the size of a medium
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hippo, that were able to drive through the bush and over rocks, but they made
so much noise, the animals could hear them for miles and quietly disappear
into the undergrowth.
The click of the black boxes was heard less and less, and before long,
there were no more caterpillars, no more Nids in bright colours. Only two
Nids remained, the short round pink Nid and his short round pink female, and
they began to shout at each other and throw things.
One day the small round Nid climbed into his small elephant machine
and instead of turning around and going up the road as he usually did, he
travelled along the edge of the watering hole, to where the animals who had
already drank their fill stood, ruminating. They heard the dreadful noise, and
froze, looking, waiting. Suddenly the creature burst out at them, and send
them chargine down the slope towards the water hole. The animals in front of
them were pushed into the deeper water, and there was a screaming melee of
animals coming and going, until some of them managed to make it to the
bank and scramble out of the way.
The Nid machine circled around and came to a juddering halt. The Nid
poked his round head through a hole in the side of the creature, and in his
hand was the banga stick of the animals nightmares. He held it to his
shoulder and fired and down went a wildebeest calf, banga, and Pajamas
cousin kicked and screamed. The wildebeest fled back into the water and
decided to stay there huddling for protection against the hippo that sunk in the
muddy water to their eyeballs. The Nid and his machine roared off after a
group of antelope who scattered into the hills. It jounced over a boulder,
crashing through branches and leapt into the air so that its four round feet
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were off the ground. The animals wondered if it would fly like a bird, in which
case the Nids were far cleverer than they looked, but it bounced back to earth
with a crash like any other creature and as it did so, the crust of ground that
covered an intricate mole burrow system gave way from the weight and the it
fell into a gigantic hole, turning onto side like a tortoise in a high wind. The
execrable noise sputtered and died.
The animals heard a groan, a creak as the arm of the creature opened,
and the head of the small round Nid appeared. He looked around, blinking.
Marilyn stood at the edge of the toad trees waiting her chance. She sidled as
far forward as she dared, flattened herself against the ground, inching forward
until she ran out of cover and sprinted as fast as she could up to the Nid
machine, flattening herself against it. The Nid tried to climb out of the wreck
holding the banga stick in front of him. Marilyn could see the back of his shiny
head, pink ears sticking out and a circle of sparse hair. In a bound, she curled
her arm around his throat. She could feel the beating pulsing veins in his
head and neck, smell the stink of fear. She knew and he knew that with a
swipe she could cut his head right off.
Dont make a move, she growled into his shell-like ear.
The Nids eyes bulged so much, they looked about to pop right out of
his head.
Did you say something? he whispered, trying to turn his head, but
Marilyn increased the pressure on his neck until he gagged. His pink face
turned a livid red, and a nauseating sheen of sweat made him slippery in her
grasp.
Dont eat him, Uncle Lemon cried.
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Aw, just a nibble, said Marilyn, licking his neck and spitting the taste
out.
The Nids throat made a strangled shriek.
Are animals talking? he spluttered. What is this? Am I hearing
animals talk?
Marilyn smiled enigmatically and with a swipe from her paw, extracted
him from the machine like a tortoise from its shell. He flopped onto the
ground like a dying fish. Marilyn snatched up the banga stick in her jaws and
flung it to Crunchy who caught it with his trunk and smashed it against a tree.
Within seconds, the monkeys had swarmed all over the Nids machine,
crawling inside to emerge with strange treats, some of which didnt look
especially edible. The other animals formed a circle around the Nid and
looked at him closely. Liquid seemed to be coming out of his eyes and he
panted as though hed been running. A pungent smell rose from his skin and
he shook and blubbered, and covered his eyes with both of his pink hands.
He uncovered them and covered them again as though he were hoping it
would all disappear. The animals were dumbfounded.
Well, what are we going to do with him? said Marilyn, positioning
herself within leaping distance of the trembling Nid.
Are you animals speaking? the Nid cried. Am I going completely
crazy or what is this?
We always speak, said Uncle Lemon.
Youre a chameleon, the Nid cried, chameleons dont speak.
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On the contrary, my species has a long tradition of eloquence. Who
do you think taught you Nids to speak, you didnt think it up by yourselves you
know.
This isnt happening, the Nid said, shaking his head. Im in a dream,
its that cheap whisky, too much television, maybe something I ate. Maybe Im
asleep? Thats it, its a dream, Im going to wake up in a few minutes and
laugh. Its stress, theres no business, no visitors.
Well sir, said Uncle Lemon patiently, if you look around you, it most
certainly is happening, you are here and so are we, and some of us wouldnt
mind a little snack, if you know what I mean. The question is what are we
going to do with you?
Youre not going to eat me, I own you, the Nid said, throwing back his
shoulders and pushing out his chest. I paid for this whole valley and
everything in it, and that means you. All of you. Every last ant.
You own us? the ants said, barely able to suppress their giggles.
This started the monkeys off and once the hyena started, it became a free for
all.
Marilyn circled the puffed up creature, bunched up her muscles and
leapt, knocking him onto his back, she lay on him with her full crushing weight,
her spotted muzzle inches from his streaming face.
You smell funny but youve got lots of meat on you, Im going to hoist
you up in my tree and live off you for a few days.
The Nid had turned from red to a very disturbing white and he
struggled to breathe with the huge weight of Marilyn, who was chunkier than
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she looked. She got up, but not without breathing into his face to show she
meant business.
The Nids mouth went rubbery, In that case, if someone will be kind
enough to point me the way home, Id be glad to
Not so fast, said Marilyn, rising to her feet and stretching her toes.
Your people killed my mom.
Youve kept us awake for weeks, said the hippos moving menacingly
forward.
You called us ugly, said the warthogs, horns bristling.
You bangad my cousin, Pajama cried.
The Nid turned this way and that, but all he could see was wave upon
wave of angry talking creatures and a chorus of complainants.
Hes leaking water, chortled Handbag, how revolting.
Its a dream, please let me wake up, the Nid begged, and his legs
seemed to give way. He fell to his knees, with his hands held tightly together.
Oh thats pathetic, said Marilyn. Now, Ive completely lost my
appetite.
Please dont kill me, the Nid cried, running his hand over the dome of
his head. I wont say anything, I mean about the talking and stuff. Nobody
would believe me anyway. Ill keep it quiet, please just let me go.
Wed like to think youre learned your lesson, said Uncle Lemon.
I have, said the Nid, nodding his head like a parrot. I really have. Ill
just pack up and leave, if thats alright with you. I mean, my business is
ruined already and now Ive got animals that talk.
Promise you wont come back? said Kitiki.
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Promise, said the Nid.
And if you do? said Xammi, licking his lips, Ill have your liver with a
little wild onion.
Ill rip out your heart, mince it into little pieces and not even eat it, said
Pisi, snapping her jaws.
Ill just be moving along then, the Nid said, and as he sidled away, he
bared his teeth.
The animals gasped and instinctively bared their own teeth, bristling for
a fight. The Nid quickly closed his mouth and backed away slowly.
Wait a minute, said Marilyn. Before you go, lets have those skins
you use to cover yourselves, they may belong to our relatives.
The Nid put a hand against his chest.
They arent skins, theyre polyester, they are made in a factory.
The animals looked at each other, but nobody knew what polyester
was, or a factory for that matter.
Marilyn was implacable. I dont care where they come from hand
them over
The Nid hesitated, but Marilyn fitted her jaws to his leg, and he quickly
took off the skins that covered him until all he had was one last piece of white
fabric which he clung to with shaking hands.
You can keep those, said Marilyn with a contemptuous flip of her
paw.
The Nids body was pink all over and globular, vaguely hippo-like in
appearance, its flesh-folds soft and defenceless. They werent half as scary
without their tools. He sidled towards the road, and the animals let him go.
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Although some of them were quite hungry from all the activity, they knew that
eating the Nid would bring bad fortune onto their heads and besides it was
obvious they werent really animals, although they had some uncannily
animal-like behaviours. As he ran, he stopped to look behind him, like a
klipspringer did and which is how they became everyones favourite easy
meal.
XXX
The next day, so early in the morning the birds werent even chirping,
the small round Nid and his small round female hurriedly carried their
belongings out of the house and put them inside their machine, and made
their way for the last time up the road. At the entrance, they stopped, the Nid
got out and next to the sign that said Giggletree plus Lodge, he put up another
sign. He got back into his creature and continued up the road past the Big
Baobab, past the marula trees and the weavers settled down into the tree with
a weary sigh, hoping it would be the last time they were so rudely awoken.
Towel, swooped up and squinted at the sign.
For sale, he said.
What does that mean? asked Uncle Lemon.
For plus sale, Towel said, shrugging. It means exactly that, and
nothing else.
It doesnt matter what it means, the Nids are gone, Kitiki cried,
theyve gone forever, and theyre never coming back.
For plus sale, it worried Uncle Lemon, there was something ominous
about it although he didnt understand what it meant. He brushed it to the
back of his mind. The sun shone in an iridescent sky and the grasshoppers
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were so plentiful he could reach right out and snatch one without moving more
than one or two muscles. He did just that, and as he bit its head off, and as
he crunched it between his jaws, he thought how wonderful it was to be alive,
to be a chameleon sitting on a tree in the most beautiful valley in the world,
and how glad he was that things had finally gone back to normal.
Whatever that was.
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Chapter Two
One afternoon as the sun bathed the forest in a shimmering somnolent
haze, Maki the bush baby woke up and found he couldnt move. There was
nothing wrong with his body, but his sisters head pinned one hand to the floor
of the nest, the other one was trapped under Auntie Bertha, the cousins were
sprawled out over his stomach and Aunt Margarets daughter snored against
his leg. The twins were under mom, and dads arm curled around Uncle
Abners foot. It was the usual midday lovepile, and while he usually enjoyed
the closeness, the warmth of the leaf lined sanctuary in the fork of a bladder
nut tree, lately hed been feeling restless, a vague rumble of dissatisfaction
started somewhere in his belly and moved down his now numb legs. His feet
itched, the calloused soles magnetized by something he couldnt fathom. He
rubbed them together more than was strictly healthy for a bushbaby, and
sometimes he thought he heard someone in the distance echoing the sound.
He wasnt a baby any more; soon he would be sleeping in a nest he
would make himself, fighting for his place in the chain between leopard and
midge. No more playing the fool, wrestling, pouncing, tail-pulling and funny
walks. No more stretching and yawning and lolling in bed watching the sun
go down, no time for scratching and stroking and brushing each other up for
an evening of exciting grasshopper hunting. Life would be a non-stop round
of eating, smearing scent charms on trees, and keeping away from teeth and
sharp claws.
He couldnt wait.
On the other hand, being part of a crowd offered such benefits, comfort
in numbers, early warning systems, lookouts, spies. When he left the nest for
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the last time, he would travel alone, a scuttling snack for eagles and snakes.
And yet it was a small price to pay for glorious giddy freedom. Or was it?
Hed been pondering this question for some time, whether it was possible to
be safe and free at the same time, whether one could completely eliminate all
risk and still live a life worth living. Hed tried to talk to old Abner about it, on
the basis that he was grizzled and ancient and had seen a lot of life.
Youve got to understand, kid, its no good hanging around the house
trying to cling to the past, trying to be safe. If you have to make a choice
between freedom and security, well what do you want, a cage?
A cage! It was a Nid word that resonated with evil and foreboding.
Although few of the animals had ever seen one, mothers used the threat of a
cage as the most extreme of last-ditch punishments for unruly pups.
If you dont eat your ant larvae this instant, Im going to find a cage to
put you in, Makis own mother had said on more than a few occasions.
There were various descriptions of what a cage was, but the majority of
animals were still baffled. All they knew was that a cage was the worst thing
in the world to end up in, except being turned into a hat.
Anyway, kid, Old Abner continued, you can always be a vagabond
like me, best of both worlds. I come and go as I like, Ive got you and your
mom and all the rest of you for company when I want, but I can set out into
the blue yonder when my fancy takes me. Sure I havent passed on any of
my genes the way everyone else does, but hey theres though little critters in
the bush without me adding another few.
It sounded reasonable, and while one part of him longed to fly out to
The Yonder hed heard so much about, the rest of him was rooted to the nest,
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the shackles of the loved ones, the sinuous threads of familial duty. Paralysis
had set in. An animal alone was a sad thing, but wasnt that freedom taken to
its conclusion? No constraints. His sister was right, he spent too much time
thinking about things that werent important. He seemed to be driven by some
foolhardy itch that no amount of foot-rubbing could soothe.
A spark of sun flashed through the canopy of trees, the dazzle made
him dizzy. It was too early to be up and about, but he couldnt keep still. He
gingerly uncurled dads arm from Auntie Berthas foot so he could reach
around and push Jeannies head gently to one side, taking care not to put his
toes in Uncle Abners ears. With a bit of cunning maneuvering, he slid under
the cousins and free at last, crept to the edge of the nest and looked down the
trees to the forest floor, which seethed with creatures going about their
business. At that moment, a grasshopper with bad timing flew past, and Maki
snatched it out of the air, stared in disbelief at his good luck, and bit its head
off before it could slip away. As he munched, his eye was caught by the Nids
now-empty nest. It would be sturdy in a high wind and cozy and warm inside.
It had been many sunup-downs, and nobody had seen any Nids, vines
crept stealthily towards the abandoned shelter. There was always a chance
the Nids might return one day, but since most of the animals couldnt think
more than a sun or two forward or a moon or three back, it was less of an
immediate worry than finding a juicy tidbit for lunch. Not to mention an ideal
bachelor nest.
Before he set off he rubbed his cheek on a willow branch, and smeared
chest smell on a nearby rock so the others wouldnt worry when they woke up
and found him gone. He caught a whiff of some delicious, juicy, chewy gun,
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oozing out of a nearby acacia tree and his tummy set up an irresistible
rumble. He leapt onto the lowest branch and scampered up the tree,
scooping a nugget of gum on his way and stuffing it into his cheek. He
wadded an extra blob of the gum in his other cheek and as he swung himself
up into the canopy, he swooped and glided and chewed, hurling himself from
branch to branch, playing his favourite game of flinging himself into the air and
grabbing the next branch at the last split second. As he leapt and hurtled
through the trees, consumed in anticipation, he closed his eyes with the bliss
of the moment and sailed out where the next tree should have been, but
wasnt. For seconds he had the glorius feeling of flying out into space until
gravity intervened and he landed in a sickle bush with a crash bang splinter.
This at least prevented him from rolling down the hill and into the river.
Pain, Pain, he groaned, as he got up and looked around to see if
anyone had seen him bruised and battered, with twigs in his vanity. He ran
his teeth through the fur on his chest and neatened up his face with his feet.
He peeped through the branches and could immediately see a potential safety
problem. Once over the river, there were no trees, not even one, all the way
to the Nid shelter. There was a long expanse of the short very green grass
the Nids liked, and a bush or two where he might huddle, but the coverage
was inadequate to say the least. He would have to make a run for it or at
least a vigorous hop. Swing was his thing, swooping and gliding between the
trees. Hopping was for emergencies only.
The ground sloped sharply down to where the river was narrow enough
to jump in two or three mighty hops. He kept an eye on the sky, an
adolescent bushbaby out in the middle of the day would be a hard miss for a
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one-eyed eagle, or a cheetah with a limp. He clambered up the embankment
on the other side, it was steep and he had to balance on his tail so much it
began to feel quite raw. A cluster of mayflies rose up and buzzed his nose,
triggered a sneeze, and his plan to effortlessly bound to the top ended in a in
an undignified scrambling and clutching at weeds.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw it, something circling about his
head, the long slow confident sweep of a raptor, licking his beak and limbering
up his talons. The circling became faster, Maki felt dizzy, he could hear his
heart banging away in his ears. So much for freedom if you end up as eagle
chew. He heard the crack of a twig, and every hair on his body stood to
attention, but it was only a duck with a line of miniatures waddling towards the
water hole for a swim.
He looked up for the eagle but it was gone, a puffy cloud drifted over
the sun. He looked again and now it was plummeting, at dizzying speed
straight for the bush where he was huddling. Makis cry strangled in the back
of his throat. There was nothing to do but roll up his ears, put up his fists and
squeeze his eyes closed. There was an almighty flapping of wings, and
shattering of twigs, Maki felt the breath of his wing on his cheek, and then the
short shriek of a mouse as the bird lifted himself into the air. The cries of the
mouse grew softer as it was spirited away.
Maki let out a long slow lucky breath and tried to calm his trembling
limbs. He was starting to regret the impulse that drove him from the warmth
of the nest into this foolhardy adventure. He wished he were home, safe
cuddling with the others. But then again, he couldnt just stay huddled in the
reeds for the rest of his life, adventure was in his blood, he was a bushbaby
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not a crybaby. It was onward and forward, there was no going back. He took
a deep breath and leapt out of the bush, hopping as fast as was anatomically
possible over the prickly grass. He wondered if it was true what Jane had
said that the Nids made rain come out of the grass. He zigged and zagged to
confuse anything watching, trying not to look up at the sky. He heard a rustle
and turned in mid-hop, tripped on a rock and rolled the rest of the way into the
bush. A shower of berries rained onto his head.
The Nids shelter was enormous up close, the walls were hard and
rough to the touch, totally unsuitable for chewing. Some parts of it were
wood, but it would take too long to munch through, even if he could find a few
woodpeckers to help at such short notice. He heard a noise and this time he
was sure it really was a noise, one ear turned forward, the other backwards,
but all he heard were hippo babies wallowing and the hadedahs maniacal
call.
Just then, his tail was grabbed, he leapt around, it was Jane.
Youre much too tense, she grinned. She held out a handful of
shriveled fruit, Custard apples, try one.
I almost jumped out of my skin, Maki cried. He was embarrassed to
be so grateful to see a face that wasnt trying to kill him.
Whats a little boy like you doing out here. Planning on getting into the
Nids house, huh, huh? I saw you looking at it, wanting to get inside are you?
Just thought Id look around, said Maki, trying to look casual. Jane
was a notorious gossip; he didnt want Uncle Lemon finding out about his
expedition, never mind his mom. Im just curious thats all. By the way, how
does one, you know, get inside?
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Come with me, said Jane, and she scampered around the side of the
structure. Maki hopped behind her, keeping an eye peeled for slow moving
objects in the sky. Jane stopped and pointed at a wall of the Nids shelter.
This side of the shelter looked different, it was made of squares set into the
hard walls of the structure that glimmered when you looked at them at a
certain angle,
See there, said Jane, those little squares, theyre windows, you can
see through them to the other side. Some of them you can wind down with a
handle, like in their cars, but thats another story. This kind we have to break.
Maki was baffled.
Jane scoured the ground and picked up a rock, hefted it in her hand,
she looked at the windows, straightened her shoulders, tilted her head to one
side and the other, pulled back her arm, and flicked the rock at the wall, and
instead it bouncing back like a cracked nut would, there was a loud crash and
the rock disappeared into the shelter.
See, Jane continued, now theres a hole, Im too big to get through it,
but youre a little squirt, you climb in and once youre inside, Ill show you how
to make the hole bigger so I can get in.
Maki was not sure his legs would be able to move, he wasnt sure he
understood the concept of windows.
Listen sonnyboy, enough with the questions, climb through the hole,
and do what I tell you.
Jane helped Maki climb onto a ledge beneath the Nids windows. He
inspected the hole Jane had made with the rock, its edges were sharp as
cacti. He put one foot carefully through the hole and slid his body between
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the spikes, and as he extracted his other leg, his foot caught, and he fell
backwards off the ledge and onto the floor with a dull smack.
He pushed himself up, panting, his eyes adjusting to shapes in the
gloom that he could not recognize. Things loomed out of the walls, a herd of
animals coming straight at him, their eyes glassy, petrified to the wall, and oh
horrors, Ingwe the leopard, Ingwe the Terrible baring her horrific teeth. A herd
of buck surrounded her, mouths agape, a buffalo, a warthog bristling with
curly teeth, all mounted on wood and motionless, and Maki, who thought he
had seen the worst of the chamber of horrors, could not believe his eyes
when he saw the foot of an elephant, hacked off under the knee, standing in a
corner. He leapt away, shuddering.
Are you there? Jane called from the other side of the Nid wall.
Maki could not take his eyes off Ingwes head, he was fearful, yet
fascinated. Ingwe had been dead for almost a half summer, and yet she
looked as fierce and fresh as yesterday. It seemed the Nids had contrived a
method to make things live forever, he could only wonder at their motives.
Look for a hard thing that pokes out, said Jane from the other side of
the Nids wall.
Maki shook himself out of his torpor, and climbed back onto the ledge.
It was an amazing thing this window that didnt wind. It was there, but not
there, invisible but solid, and of course breakable. He looked for the hard
thing that poked out, and it struck him that opposable thumbs would have
been an advantage. Opening a window wasnt something a giraffe could do,
for instance. He took hold of a stick that was cold and hard and which
seemed to poke out in the way described and pushed against it.
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Push it up, sonnyboy, up, harder.
Maki pushed but it didnt move, he pulled it, swung on it, and still it
didnt move. He got underneath, bent his legs and pushed with his shoulders
and with a creak it began to move upwards until it clicked, and the window
swung out into the garden. He lost his balance and tumbled into a rosebush
with a crashing thud. He didnt try and get up immediately. He felt defeated,
every bone in his body ached and now he had thorns in his bum. Jane
yanked him out of the bush by the scruff of his neck and thrust him through
the window, setting him onto the floor of the Nids shelter.
Its every monkey for himself from this point, Jane cried, making a
beeline for the door. Maki took a look around the shelter, it was all so new
and wonderfully baffling. He was astonished how much stuff the Nids had, so
many things scattered around, they slept on platforms, covered with skins of
different colours. The waterhole was a revelation, he could not imagine how
they did it, a waterhole right inside the house, and according to Jane, they
washed themselves every day. If he hadnt seen it with his own eyes
He heard Jane before he saw her, she rifled through the Nids objects,
tossing powders and grains onto the floor.
This is the kitchen, this is where the real edibles are, the motherlode of
munchies is hidden in these cupboards. She reached into the back and
pulled out a stick which she put to her nose and inhaled.
Chocolate, Maki, look she cried. Its made of beans.
She peeled the skin off the stuffed it in her mouth and closed her eyes,
dribbling chocolate saliva onto her chest. It looked like a piece of stick
covered in mud.
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Makis ears picked up a strange sound, a squeak of some sort.
Help help, someone whimpered.
The voice came from the corner, some sort of box and inside it was a
small beige rodent. Suddenly Maki realized what the box was, the dreaded
cage, it was every bit as frightening as hed always feared, solid and cold and
small, impossible to escape. He peeked through the bars and huddled in a
nest of straw was a gerbil of uncertain health. He lay on his back panting, his
hairy feet facing the sky. He looked familiar to Maki, the markings on his face,
the fur on his feet. It was Suttee, a very thin, pale, Suttee, but Suttee
nevertheless.
We thought youd gone to the big sandpit in the sky, Maki cried, what
happened to you?
I dont know, Suttee gasped. I was just walking along, minding my
own business, somebody grabbed me and before I knew it I was in prison. I
havent done anything, Im innocent, I swear. I was framed, I tell you, its a
travesty.
He had rigged up an intricate series of pulleys with string and a hook
and survived by snagging dog pellets from a bowl on the floor. The bowl was
empty now, and had been empty for some time by the looks of Suttee.
Maki tried to work out how to open the cage since he now had
experience of Nid things that poked out. He pulled and twisted and tugged at
everything that poked until he found something that moved and made a hole
big enough to get his hand inside and he was able to gently lift the gerbil out
of the cage and place him on the floor.
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Thank you my child, Suttee said, I thought I was a goner for a minute
there. Havent eaten for a week, look at me, Im a shadow of myself, my hair
is falling out in chunks. He picked a piece of fluff off his chest and let it drift
to the floor. Thank you for saving me, youre a real hero.
Oh it was nothing, said Maki feeling a warm and comforting glow.
If its not too late, theres a budgie, maybe you can do something for
him.
Whats a budgie? Maki asked.
Its a bird, a very blue bird, said Suttee. The Nids like them. They
speak funny, but theyre good sorts mostly.
Oui, came a pitiful voice through the doorway.
The birds cage hung from the ceiling of a room surrounded on three
sides with Nid windows, and crammed with plants and trees in pots. Maki
swung up the branch of a sycamore tree and peered into the cage.
Well, hello, hello hello, said the bird, leaping up and flapping his
wings, looking amazingly cheerful under the circumstances. But it was all for
show, he faltered, stumbled, and keeled over on his side.
So glad youre here, he croaked through his dry beak. A drop to
drink, please, a morsel, an apple perhaps.
Maki had the cage door open in a flash. The bird was in a sorry state,
he flapped one wing feebly, and it was clear he had not used the limb in some
time. Maki filled a walnut shell with water and carried it back to the bird. He
watched as it dribbled into his gasping beak. He swallowed painfully, his
throat bobbing, at Maki adoringly.
So cool, so good, he murmured.
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Maki found an apple in the kitchen among the debris left by the
marauding Jane. When he returned, the bird had managed to wobble to his
feet, and he stood swaying, bobbing his head furiously.
Ah, my saviour, thank you. Allo, Iook how thin my legs are, I used to
be such a pretty boy.
Youre free now, Maki said. The Nids have gone, and theyre never
coming back.
The budgie bobbed his head, eyeing the apple, but made no move to
leave the ca