NICK · stinctively understood the things that I was sensitive about. It was even more amazing to me how she stepped into our relationship and adapted to my physical disabilities

NICK AND K ANAE

VUJICIC

WithoutLimits

Love

Author of the New York Times and international bestseller Life Without Limits

A Remarkable Story of True Love Conquering All

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LOVe WithOut Limits

PuBLished By WaterBrOOk Press

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All Scripture quotations are taken or paraphrased from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.

Hardcover ISBN 978-1-60142-617-8eBook ISBN 978-1-60142-619-2

Copyright © 2014 by Nicholas James Vujicic

Cover design by Kristopher K. Orr; cover photography by Dean Dixon; uncredited photography (cover and interior) courtesy of the Vujicic family

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House LLC, New York, a Penguin Random House Company.

WaterBrOOk and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Random House LLC.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication DataVujicic, Nick.

Love without limits / Nick And Kanae Vujicic. — First Edition.pages cm

ISBN 978-1-60142-617-8 — ISBN 978-1-60142-619-2 (electronic) 1. Marriage—Religious aspects—Christianity. 2. Love—Religious aspects—Christianity. 3. Vujicic, Nick. 4. Vujicic, Kanae. I. Vujicic, Kanae. II. Title.

BV835.V85 2014248.8'44—dc23

2014020575

Printed in the United States of America2014—First Edition

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

sPeciaL saLes

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D a r i n g t o Tr u s t t h e H e a r t

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explode in laughter when I’d slip up and let loose with a disaster such as, “I’m

more smarter than I used to be.”

Strange as it may seem, our co-mangling of the English language helped

bring us closer as a couple. We laughed and laughed at each other’s mispronun-

ciations and grammatical disasters. Even though we were born on different

continents, we shared the experience of adapting to a new country and its lan-

guage and customs.

The two of us also understood what it was like to be different. As a child,

Kanae stood out in school and in her town because of her Asian features and

Japanese name. My lack of limbs set me apart, obviously, but I’d also grown up

in a family of Serbian immigrants to Australia. My father and mother spoke

only English to us because, when they first came to Australia, they were bullied

and even beat up by locals, even though Australia is known for its huge im-

migrant population.

Kanae and I had both been put down at times for being “foreigners,” so we

never put each other down. Instead we laughed and felt closer because of that

shared experience.

sPArks To fLAmes

After the initial struggle of just trying to clear the deck of confusion and en-

tanglements, and even though there was often a great distance between us,

Kanae and I had a wonderful courtship.

The courting or dating period should be the time when you learn more

about each other. We are all made up of many layers based on our experiences.

As someone with such evident physical disabilities, I obviously have insecurities

that go beyond any trouble I have with the English language. In hours of con-

versation, I came to understand that Kanae had her own insecurities that sprang

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66

L o v e W i t h o u t L i m i t s

from being the “China girl” in her Mexican community, about her parents’

divorce, and having few resources growing up.

Insecurities can make it difficult to bond into a loving relationship, or they

can become sources for bonding. How does that work? Kanae and I shared

certain insecurities, and so we understood each other on a deeper level. A relation-

ship suffers when one person’s actions and words trigger insecurities and

heighten anxiety and stress. If, instead, you understand and ease your partner’s

insecurities and fears, your relationship will grow stronger.

I quickly realized that Kanae was so tuned into the feelings of those around

her. Her empathy levels were off the charts. I have had many years of practice

in putting others at ease about my lack of limbs. I make jokes and demonstrate

how I can do most things for myself, but I still have my insecurities. She in-

stinctively understood the things that I was sensitive about.

It was even more amazing to me how she stepped into our relationship

and adapted to my physical disabilities with such grace and ease. She acted as

if it was the most natural thing for her boyfriend to be in a wheelchair and

unable to do things that others take for granted. People think I’m joking

when I say that Kanae scratches my back before I know there is an itch, but

it’s true!

The more I got to know her and her background, the better I understood

Kanae and who she is. Many of her qualities are a result of taking on adult re-

sponsibilities at a very young age because of her parents’ divorce and then her

father’s illness. She became the rock of strength for her younger brother Kenzi.

She is a super nurturer.

While I was insecure about my lack of limbs and whether she could love

me as I am, Kanae would eventually tell me that she was more focused on her

own feelings of insecurity. She was more worried about the fact that I had been

traveling the world as a speaker and evangelist while she was still in school and

trying to figure out exactly what she wanted to do with her life. Because I’d

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D a r i n g t o Tr u s t t h e H e a r t

67

seen so much more of the world already, she wondered if it might be hard for

her to catch up.

Kanae summed it up in this way: “You are a speaker and preacher who has

traveled the world, and I haven’t even started my career yet.” I told her that I

looked forward to having her travel with me and sharing my life and ministry

experiences. I wanted her to be with me as much as possible. I felt God would

direct our paths and that someday she could resume her efforts to become a

nurse.

There was another hurdle for Kanae to overcome. My family and friends

are very protective of me. In my single days, those closest to me were always

very watchful about the women I talked about or took out to dinner. Whenever

I talked to my father about girls I was interested in or showed him their photo-

graph, he would express negative opinions about them. I’d get angry because

he’d usually say these girls weren’t right for me or they didn’t love me enough.

I’d ask him how he knew, and he’d say, “I just know.”

Looking back, I have to admit that he was always right. It’s also interesting

that when I first showed him a photograph of Kanae, he had nothing negative

to say at all!

By the time I met Kanae, I was fairly well known thanks to all of the speak-

ing I’d done and, especially, thanks to the many views my videos had received

on YouTube and other Internet sites. Because of that public exposure, my par-

ents were concerned about women being drawn to me for the wrong reasons.

They didn’t think they were bad people, but there were women who wanted to

“take care” of me or come to my rescue or, in some cases, serve God by marry-

ing me.

I didn’t want a woman with that frame of mind. I wanted a woman who

loved me. Isn’t that what every man wants? I felt Kanae could love me just as I

wanted to be loved, but frankly, I’d been wrong before. I’d been hurt more than

once because I had misread someone’s motives, had misjudged someone’s

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