Nice Things You Need to Say More Often

Slide 1Overview
How many words do you speak during an average day? No, I am not talking about text
messages, emails, or slang chatroom words, I am talking about words that actually
come out of your mouth.
The average figure is 16,000 words. Even then, much of what we say can be
meaningless chit-chat, brisk, necessary exchanges or even angry rants. Here are some
things that we could all do with saying more often. While reading, you believe the list
is pretty simplistic. However, the positive impact they will have on your mood and
your day is pretty dramatic.
Hello
How often do you sit silently next to someone on a train, or in a waiting room? How
often do you stand tapping your foot in a line at the post office or bank? Just saying a
simple “Hello” or “Hi” to the person next to you, and offering them a smile, could give
you an instant mood-boost. And you might even get into a conversation to pass the
time while you’re waiting.
Thank
you
It’s hard to say “thank you” too often. Even when you feel someone’s performing a
service that they should do by the nature of their job, thanking them will make both of
you feel good. How about saying “thank you” to your employees or subordinates when
they carry out a task for you, “thank you” to the girl at the checkout when she packs
your bags for you, “thank you” to the waiter who brings your meals… Those two small
words of gratitude can mean a lot.
Please
A word which we often associate with “thank you”, perhaps because we were taught to
say both as young children, is “please”. Using this little word turns a demand into a
request – and makes people much happier about fulfilling it. When you queue up for a
coffee at Starbucks, don’t just bark “Venti Mocha Frappuccino” at the barista – add a
“please”. When asking your partner to pass the salt at dinner, put in that “please”. It
doesn’t just set a great example for your kids, it sets a tone of politeness and mutual
respect.
Here,
seat
Most of us are lucky enough to be fairly able-bodied and can easily stand on trains and
buses without risking falling over. If you see someone elderly, pregnant or struggling
in any way (perhaps a mother with a small child), offer them your seat. If you’re
worried you’ll accidentally offend them, add a “I’m getting off soon” or something
slightly jokey like “I could do with stretching my legs.”
Excuse
me
Listen: We hate slow walkers, people who stand in front of the train doors, and
oblivious people who pause at the top of a staircase as much as you do. But instead of
barreling past people and slamming your elbows in to their sides, use this phrase. Who
even knows?! You may wake these sleepy people up to their own impolite behavior.
How can
I help
you?
If you see someone struggling, even in the slightest bit, offer a helping hand. Heck, the
person doesn’t even have to be lifting a heavy box! Just helping someone organize their
papers, research a project, or clean their living room will make you feel better and
become a kinder friend.
your
pardon?
When you don’t hear someone the first time, don’t just bark “What?” Instead, say “I
beg your pardon?” or “Excuse me?” to get the same message across while seeming far
less demanding.
I understand
Whether you’re confirming the receipt of a message or you’re letting a friend in
need know that you get what they’re going through, this simple phrase really can go
a long way.
you to…
When making an introduction, don’t be afraid to go a little more formal than you
typically would. Just saying “This is so-and-so” will do, but this phrase will make the
person you’re introducing feel more important, special, and at ease.
I’m
sorry
Don’t over-apologize, but it’s important to own up to your own mistakes. When
you’ve made a mistake in your relationship or at work, apologize and then move on.
Don’t dwell on it.
Ma’am”
and “Sir
Some people feel that “ma’am” and “sir” are titles best reserved for the elderly. Once
kids start referring to you as such, it may as well be time to move into the old folks’
home, right? Wrong! These words are actually signs of respect for others and are the
epitome of proper language. However, if someone kindly asks you not to refer to them
as “ma’am” or “sir,” then please do oblige them.
May I…?
First off, asking “May I?” is how one asks permission. (“Can I?” indicates ability.) Before
you leave a table, make a phone call in a public space, or move in front of someone in
line, ask politely with “May I?”
Mr. and
Ms. (or
Miss and
Mrs.)
Being formal is a big part of using nice, polite language. Like using “sir” and “ma’am,”
when addressing someone older than you, use these phrases and their last name until
they ask you to use their first name.
Nothing
Listen instead. Part of being a good conversationalist is knowing how to be a good
listener. Pay attention when someone is talking to you and pay them respect with
your silent acknowledgment that you hear them.
Tell me
about
yourself
People love talking about themselves, so it’s nice to take a general interest in the
people that you meet. You don’t have to be so blunt as this phrase suggests, but make
small talk with those around you and ask engaging questions (and follow ups) about
their lives. You may just make a new friend!
You’re
welcome
These days, when someone says “thank you,” a common way to respond is “no
problem.” While there’s no real issue with acting as though the favor you’d just done
or compliment you gave was no biggie, it’s best to accept the thanks with this good,
old-fashioned phrase. It shows your appreciation for the “thank you" and proves that
you are not a rude person.
This
me
Out for drinks with a friend or acquaintance? Rather than insisting on splitting the
bill straight down the middle, offer to buy for both of you. It’s nice to feel generous,
and to feel that you’re receiving a gift – and your friend can reciprocate next time, if
s/he wants. A note of caution: if you are a lot better off financially than your drinking
partner, be sensitive about this.
I don’t
met
Many of us aren’t great at introducing ourselves. If you meet someone new, don’t just
mumble about the weather or say nothing but “hi”; tell them your name, and ask
theirs. It’s awkward to talk to someone for ten minutes before having to say “Sorry, I
didn’t catch your name,” so be confident and upfront when meeting new people.
Have a
great
day!
Although phrases like “have a nice day” can be overused by shopworkers and telesales
staff, it’s still worth wishing people a good day, evening or weekend when you part.
Speak with genuine enthusiasm, and you’ll almost certainly get a smile and a “thanks,
you too!” in response – a great way to end a conversation on a high note.
What I’m
is…
So often, conversations revolve around matters of little consequence to both the
speaker and the listener. If you feel that most of what you say is just small talk, try
going deeper. Obviously, this doesn’t mean boring the person next to you on the bus
with your entire life story – but when you’re getting to know someone, share some of
your hobbies and interests, or tell them about your big life plans. You never know, you
might have found a kindred spirit.
I love you
Lastly, those three most important words; “I love you.” Do you say these enough to the
people who you love? Don’t just think about your partner here – how about your
kids, your parents, your grandma? It’s easy to assume that people “just know” we love
them, but sometimes hearing those little words can really make someone’s day.
Conclusion
We say a lot. Through our looks, our acts, and most importantly, through our words.
What we say reflects so much about ourselves, and how we respond to our daily life.
By using curt language, informal phrases, and ignoring the people in your
presence, you’re actually being really rude without even realizing it! Luckily, adopting
some nice, polite language is one of the easiest ways to improve your manners and
become a better person.