NEWCOMER S BOOKLET - PatO's Place€¦ · more that can be gained by “working the steps.” The Twelve Steps are a pathway to a “spiritual awakening” that helps free us of behaviors

THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS, NOT YET CONFERENCE APPROVED

(Last revision - March 24, 2012)

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NEWCOMER,S BOOKLET

___________________

Gain freedom from nicotine

with

the Twelve Steps of Nicotine Anonymous

and

the mutual support of its members.

“Together, we find the courage to change ...

one day at a time”

[THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS, NOT YET CONFERENCE APPROVED]



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NEWCOMER’S WELCOME It doesn’t matter in what form you have used nicotine or how many times you may have tried to quit, if you have a desire to live nicotine free you are welcomed in our Fellowship. We have found that as we attend meetings regularly, we come to believe in the shared experience of our fellow members. Sharing together creates hope and helps us to keep an open mind to make the personal changes we need to succeed. We suggest newcomers attend a number of meetings to discover for themselves how the caring support of others and the daily practice of Nicotine Anonymous principles has helped us experience the gift of freedom from nicotine. Changes occur over time using this program of recovery to abstain from nicotine. Physically, we achieve better health; emotionally, we become more serene; spiritually, we find hope and courage where there was doubt and fear. Newcomers can work this gentle program at their own pace. Our respect for each other is evident in our commitment to not criticize, gossip, or offer unsolicited advice. Through mutual support we help each other and ourselves. Welcome to Nicotine Anonymous.

The only requirement for Nicotine Anonymous membership

is a desire to stop using nicotine. (Tradition Three)

Have you quit many times, but always start again?

Do you have doubts about your ability to stop using nicotine?

Have you never stopped smoking before?

Have you already quit, but worried you will probably relapse?

Do you wish you could quit smoking, and still keep smoking . . . somehow?

Do you want to stop using some form of smokeless tobacco?

Are you having trouble ending your use of nicotine gum?

Do you also want to be able to have some form of medical or professional assistance in addition to Nicotine Anonymous to help you gain freedom from nicotine?

Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired about quitting smoking?

Whether or not you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, we welcome you. Again, the only requirement for Nicotine Anonymous membership is a desire to stop using nicotine (or remain stopped). We understand the doubts and concerns, because we’ve been there, done that. You do not need to have already stopped before joining Nicotine Anonymous. Bringing whatever amount of desire to stop using nicotine you have and attending meetings can help it grow. Our primary purpose is to offer support to those who are trying to gain freedom from nicotine (and/or maintain that freedom).

This booklet is a compilation of experiences, thoughts, and feelings contributed by grateful members of Nicotine Anonymous in the hope that our experiences may help you gain freedom from this powerful addiction.



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Table of Contents YOU MAY ASK . . . MEMBERS’ SHORT SHARES HOPE COMES FROM ACTION MEMBERS’ SHARE BENEFITS SPONSORSHIP IN NICOTINE ANONYMOUS STEP BY STEP: A DISCUSSION OF THE TWELVE STEPS OF NICOTINE ANONYMOUS “GRAB BAG OF GOODIES” What About Unmanageability? A Reflection From a New Member Who Smoked Cigarettes Additional Suggestions from Members When Letting Go of Nicotine Alternatives: Tapering Off or Cutting Down on Your Nicotine Use Careful About Relapse Worksheet Members’ Shore Shares One Member’s Experience and Thoughts About Recovery Memorial to My Cigarettes NICOTINE ANONYMOUS CONFERENCE APPROVED PRAYERS START YOUR OWN NICOTINE ANONYMOUS MEETING Other meeting Options NICOTINE ANONYMOUS PUBLICATIONS NOTES YOU MAY ASK . . . What is Nicotine Anonymous?

Nicotine Anonymous (aka NicA) is a program of recovery from nicotine that is based on the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous2. The Twelve Steps of Nicotine Anonymous2 were adapted with permission from Alcoholics Anonymous and have been used successfully by our members to gain and maintain freedom from nicotine.

The Nicotine Anonymous program may not suit everyone. It is not unusual for newcomers to have doubts or reservations regarding some aspects of the program. Many of us arrived as newcomers with doubts that anything would work. However, members who have gone through this experience have discovered the value of keeping an open mind. How is NicA different from a smoking cessation program?

Our literature includes a number of the usual tips that many cessation programs use, Nicotine Anonymous has basic spiritual principles as its foundation. These principles strengthen the support and sincerity of the process to change and heal. By spiritual, we do not mean religious. Our references to “God” or a “Higher Power” in our literature are among words members use to represent a power greater than ourselves in our recovery process.

For many members, their group is that power greater than themselves that provides support, understanding, and inspiration to recover from this addiction. Each person comes to his or her own understanding of a power greater than themselves. Our fellowship accepts that if we had been able to quit nicotine on our own, we would have done so, and likely long before we did.

Members, especially newcomers, can ask another member to be his or her sponsor. A sponsor is an experienced member who is willing to offer another member individual support and guidance about the program.



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What are the Twelve Steps about? Working the steps towards the solution of getting free of nicotine begins with admitting we have a problem.

The steps proceed through a process of honest self-discovery, guided by universal spiritual principles that allow for the help and support of a Power greater than ourselves.

Some members may only use our program to gain freedom from nicotine. However, if one chooses, there is more that can be gained by “working the steps.” The Twelve Steps are a pathway to a “spiritual awakening” that helps free us of behaviors and attitudes that we come to recognize as no longer working for us. Working the steps can develop and enhance those behaviors and attitudes that do work. Members find that they live more joyous with the clarity, humility, and gratitude the step process provides. Will being a member cost me any money? (Is NicA membership really free?)

Our seventh Tradition states: “There are no dues or fees for Nicotine Anonymous membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions.” For groups, intergroups, and World Services to cover expenses and remain viable for each other and future newcomers, members voluntarily donate money and service. This is a responsibility and an opportunity for each member to determine for him/herself. What if I am ambivalent about “quitting”?

We have found that it is not unusual for nicotine addicts to feel ambivalent about quitting. They want to quit on the one hand, but on the other hand may wish they could go on using forever. A powerful love-hate relationship may develop when the comfortable familiarity of a long standing behavior (driven by nicotine) is up against the reality of consequences to our health, finances, relationships, jobs, or other aspect of our lives.

It may be helpful to get clear about your specific reasons as to why you want to stop using nicotine, as well as why you think you would want to continue to use nicotine. Writing down both “sides” may make it easier to be aware and compare your thinking.

The important fact to know about this ambivalence is that it is not necessary to be totally rid of the desire to use nicotine before stopping. To begin with, all that matters is that you have even a small desire to stop using nicotine. What you experience at meetings can increase that desire. How do I start?

How does one start to stop using nicotine? We each start from where we are. Some members have never quit nicotine before, or may never have even tried to quit. Others may have quit several times and have been unable to stay off nicotine. There are no guarantees, but our experience is- people who keep showing up at meetings to listen and share, who use the steps and tools that have worked for others, do find their way to a wonderful new freedom. We seek to make progress, not expecting to be perfect- simply to do our best “one day at a time.”

There are many aspects to our program. It may take time to understand how it works, and works for you. We offer this booklet (along with our other literature) in an effort to help you “get” our program. Proceed at your own pace. We like to say that “if at first you don’t get the program,” just keep coming back to meetings because eventually “the program will get you.”

So although we will provide you with a lot of information, we want you to remember one of our most basic guides- “Keep It Simple.” The most important thing is to “Keep Showing Up” at meetings. If you feel like you can’t do anything else, do that. Know you can ask other members for help and explanations.

When should I stop using nicotine?

Each member makes her/his own decisions. No member tells another what they “should” do. Members can ask for advice, can listen to what has worked for others, but each member follows his or her own path.



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However, our experience tells us to beware of procrastination that waits for the “perfect time.” This may be little more than an excuse to keep on using under the guise of good intentions. And yet, as nicotine addicts, we are also aware of our drive for instant gratification. Some members may rush the process with little or no preparation or plan, and fail in the hurried attempts to feel successful. Rushing may be like using nicotine, it avoids uncomfortable feelings rather than facing certain realities.

Experienced members often share that working Steps One, Two, and Three was a valuable part of their initial focus. There can be movement from denial, discouragement, and isolation toward finding honesty, hope, and care. What happens at a meeting? Although each group can determine their own format, generally a chairperson will read aloud some of the basic principles of the program and how the meeting will be conducted. Members may take turns reading from parts of our literature. Then members will have an opportunity to share their thoughts or refrain from sharing as time or group rules permits. Groups may conduct anniversary meetings when a member is celebrating a certain time period of abstinence from nicotine. There may be Speaker meetings when one member is the main speaker. Again, each group determines what works for them, as long as they follow the guidance provided in the Twelve Traditions of Nicotine Anonymous.1

Do I have to speak at meetings?

No one is required to speak. If they want, newcomers can simply listen to experience members and choose not to speak. As members take turns sharing, you can take your turn or you can simply choose to say something such as “I pass” or “I’d like to just listen.” What do people say at meetings? You will most likely hear that members “share their experience, strength, and hope.” In general, members may chose to talk about their current struggles with nicotine, while others share their recovery experience since getting free of nicotine. Sharing their strength often reveals what is working for them. They may choose to share about the hope that recovery has given them and the positive changes in their life. Often members express their gratitude for the group, the fellowship, for the support they have received and the freedom from nicotine they enjoy. Typically a meeting will have a topic or be based on reading some part of Nicotine Anonymous approved literature. Members can then choose to focus on that topic or they can talk about what they need to say in the moment. The wisdom of the program guides us to focus on the solution rather than the problem. What is “cross talk”? When a member is sharing, we do not “cross talk.” When members are taking turns sharing, the other members do not interrupt, criticize, or offer unsolicited advice to each other. When a member is sharing he or she does not enter into a one-to-one conversation with another member. We practice respect for one another and let each member be heard. A member may ask for suggestions, and then speak with other members before or after the meeting. As one of our five tools, groups will also have a Phone and Email List for members to communicate between meeting times. How long do people keep coming to meetings? How long a time or how often someone attends meetings is entirely up to them. Your meeting may have members who have been coming to meetings for years, long after their last use of nicotine. This is likely because the members enjoy coming, do not want to take their freedom for granted, and mostly want to give back to newcomers the support they received when they were newcomers.



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MEMBERS’ SHORT SHARES:

“As I learned to use my Nicotine Anonymous group for support and strength, my need to use nicotine has gradually disappeared.”

“As time goes by, the obsession disappeared, but the desire remained for quite some time. I had to be careful to take care of myself by attending NicA meetings regularly.”

“I ran into an old friend today, and she gave me a hug. The smell of cigarettes wafted up to me and all but made me sick. Her hair, her clothes, everything smelled so foul! I realized suddenly how happy I am not to smell like that anymore, and not to feel ashamed around other people, wondering if they can smell the cigarettes on me.”

“My daughter and I were talking on the phone yesterday, and I was making amends to her, for all the years I smoked around her, and all the second-hand smoke she endured from me. She said, ‘Mom, I’m so proud of you for quitting. I can’t believe you actually did it!’ It made me cry, I was so happy, and so proud.”

“I never realized how I used nicotine as a kind of “smoke screen” to hide from anything unpleasant, and even my own emotions. Now I really feel things, and I find I’m dealing with things differently, instead of just putting them off or avoiding them. It’s great!” HOPE COMES FROM ACTION

Whatever the size of your desire to stop using nicotine, showing up at meetings regularly can increase that desire. As you practice the principles, work the Steps, and use the tools of Nicotine Anonymous you will show yourself that you have a willingness to act. This can encourage that desire to grow “one day at a time.”

Getting free and staying free is a process of change. Our experience has been that as we continue to attend meetings eventually our desire to use nicotine lessened and our desire to live free and clean increased.

If there is no face-to-face meeting in your area you have other meeting options. There are telephone meetings and meetings online (both “type share” and “voice share”). We also offer a free Meeting Starter Kit that is a guide to how someone can get a new meeting organized. Another way to connect with people wanting to work on their recovery is using our Email Pal List.

Reading this booklet, along with our other books and pamphlets, may help you gain a new perspective. Using the phone or email list between meetings keeps you connected with members and the spirit of recovery. Asking experienced members whether one would be your sponsor provides one-to-one assistance. Offering service to your group is not only met with appreciation but it enhances your connection and gives expression to your gratitude.

Everything is this booklet is suggested. We are sharing what has worked for us. We have learned that we cannot keep what we have unless we give it away. We are trying to make gaining freedom easier for others by talking about what we have learned. Take what you need and leave the rest (or better yet, file it for future reference—you never know when you might use it).

You may want to read our pamphlet, Nicotine Anonymous: The Program and the Tools. Members whose primary nicotine delivery systems are those other than smoking, we suggest you to look at To the Dipper or Chewer.

Our pamphlet Tips for Gaining Freedom from Nicotine has 55 tips that are divided into three sections- Prior to Quitting, Your First Days of Freedom, and Remaining Free. The Serenity Prayer for Nicotine Users pamphlet



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explains about accepting the cravings we cannot change during withdrawal and asking for the courage to abstain until the cravings pass.

On other pages of this booklet we provide additional information, work sheets, and quotes from members’ experience to help you prepare to let go of nicotine and to live nicotine free. The Twelve Steps are the heart of our recovery process and we have found that working these steps has helped us to quit and remain nicotine free. MEMBER’S SHARE BENEFITS: “The self-esteem that comes from knowing I am not poisoning myself 50 to 80 times a day.” “The gift of connecting with the fellowship of Nicotine Anonymous.” “Learning that I have options in my life.” “Knowing that I can go anywhere with no restrictions.” “Knowing that I can go on a plane or train for hours at a time and not go into a panic.” “I am only in my first 2 weeks of clean-time but I like feeling my body: after hiking, in the bathtub, at rest. I feel protected by my Higher Power.”

“I don’t have to hide my smoking from my spouse and my friends; I don’t have to run to the store to be sure I’m stocked up on smokes; I don’t ever have to go through withdrawal again!” “I can sing without running out of breath, and my voice sounds better, too!” “Now I see how my smoking wasted countless hours at my job and in my personal life. Now I can sit at my desk and work through a project. I can concentrate on what needs to get done and then go into action and complete the job. As a smoker, every hurdle or step along the way ‘deserved a cigarette’. Minutes, hours, and days were spent outside “thinking.” All the while nothing was getting done. As I spent less time getting my projects done and more time smoking, the pressure to get the job done would make me want to smoke more. I am grateful to be able to do things in my life without the chains of cigarettes.”

SPONSORSHIP IN NICOTINE ANONYMOUS Our primary purpose is to offer support to those who are trying to gain freedom from nicotine. Members get support at meetings, through reading our literature, and using a group’s member contact list. However, one of the most valued ways members receive support is through sponsorship. Sponsorship in Nicotine Anonymous is one of our five tools in recovery. Sponsorship is how one member, especially a newcomer, receives the individual support and guidance from another experienced member. Seeking out a sponsor is not ‘required’ but we encourage it.

Who Is a Sponsor? A sponsor is a member who has successfully let go of nicotine, and is willing and available to share his or

her experience with you on a one-to-one basis. Becoming someone’s sponsor is a voluntary service. As an experienced member, he or she has first-hand knowledge and understanding of what you are going

through. A sponsor is someone who can explain and guide you through the Twelve Steps of Nicotine Anonymous2 and other aspects of the program. In particular, a sponsor can be a trusted person who listens as you work Step Five (more on that later).



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Why Have a Sponsor? For most nicotine users, getting free from nicotine and staying free is no easy task. We found it best to

have all the help we can. A sponsor can explain how the Twelve Steps work, in order, one step at a time. He or she can answer questions you may have, help prepare a plan for a quit date, and remind you to use the suggestions in the pamphlet Tips For Gaining Freedom From Nicotine.

During withdrawal it is good to have a clear-minded and compassionate sponsor. Even after enjoying some “free-time” it is important to be guided past the temptations and typical triggers that can occur and lead to a dreaded relapse.

When Should You Get a Sponsor? It is suggested that you get a sponsor as soon as possible, whether you have quit using nicotine yet or not.

As you begin to attend meetings and listen to other members share, consider who you think would be a “good fit” as your sponsor. You can then approach and ask that member before or after a meeting (or use the phone or email) to see if they are available and willing to be a sponsor.

You can also announce during your time to share in a meeting that you are seeking a sponsor and request that if anyone is willing- to please speak to you after the meeting or to contact you. Know that the decision to accept someone as your sponsor remains yours to make.

The availability and choice of a sponsor may depend on the size and make up of any one group or whether a member is already a sponsor and unable to take on more. You may also consider traveling to a group outside your immediate area to find a sponsor. You may then use the phone and /or email, with occasional visits, to gain the valued support of a sponsor.

Also, sponsors are not just for newcomers. The strength of sponsorship can help a member’s program tremendously at any stage. Having someone to talk to can be quite useful, even for long standing members.

Can You Have More Than One Sponsor? Yes. Sometimes a sponsor may not be available when you need him/her. By having more than one sponsor

or a back-up sponsor, you’ll be prepared. You may also find you are incompatible with your sponsor. It is okay to change sponsors, but be sure to inform your first sponsor that you are going to work with someone else.

Why Would a Member Be a Sponsor? By being a sponsor, a member has an opportunity to work the Twelfth Step and practice the tool of service.

The member offers what he or she has gained, which is one of the best ways to keep (or help) one’s own recovery. Working with a sponsee, a sponsor will often be reminded of what it was like when he or she was quitting.

This helps a sponsor to maintain respect for this powerful drug and gratitude for the gift he or she was given.

The pamphlet, To the Newcomer and Sponsorship in Nicotine Anonymous, also contains information about sponsorship. MEMBERS’ SHORT SHARES:

“When I was bored, I thought of having some nicotine. I am now learning new ways to relieve boredom, more healthy activities to stimulate my mind and my body. As I grow in Nicotine Anonymous, I find that I am too busy to be bored.”



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“I took a hike up a hill today. Before I quit smoking, I would have sat on the rock at the bottom of the hill and smoked a cigarette, looking up at the trail and never even considering actually walking it. Today, I walked up it—EASILY! It was a great feeling!”

“When I went to the doctor’s office last Tuesday for my checkup he told me my lungs were already improving, and that in time they will be as good as if I had never smoked! I couldn’t believe it, but I can feel it already. I wake up without the headache, the foul-tasting mouth, and I can take a DEEP breath again!”

“While I was visiting in New York, I noticed all the smokers standing around out in the rain in doorways, smoking. They looked so lost and miserable, and embarrassed, and I was so relieved that I don’t have to do that anymore. It made me feel really good.”

“I’m beginning to experience the other side of all this emotional stuff. At first it was hard, because I was so sensitive and the negative emotions—anger, fear, sadness—were really overwhelming. But I weathered that, and now I’m finding that the positive emotions are overwhelming, too, and I feel so alive I can’t believe it. It’s like I’ve only been half alive all these years, kind of hiding from life.” STEP BY STEP: A DISCUSSION OF THE TWELVE STEPS

Nicotine Anonymous follows an adaptation of the Twelve Steps from Alcoholics Anonymous2. Anyone can use the Twelve Steps for nicotine addiction. Previous experience with a 12-Step program is not necessary. When “working the Steps,” some members choose to read and study the text of each Step in Nicotine Anonymous: The Book

Again, each member takes things at his or her own pace. As you work each Step, try to see how it fits into your life. If at first a Step seems confusing or not appropriate for you personally, try not to reject the Step outright. Although working the Steps can be challenging, the process can help you feel better and be better. Your sponsor will be a useful guide here. Recovery from this addiction is a process and it is important to keep an open mind. Consider this saying- “Nothing changes, if nothing changes.”

and share their responses with their sponsor. Newcomers may only want to get familiar with Steps One, Two, and Three for now.

The first three Steps create a foundation to take the actions of the Steps that follow. We suggest that the Steps be practiced or worked in their sequential order. Members also continue to re-work the Steps over time to deepen their understanding of their value and to continually improve their lives.

STEP ONE

We admitted we were powerless over nicotine- that our lives had become unmanageable.

For some of us it was hard to admit to ourselves that we were powerlessness over, well, anything. We are taught from childhood that all things are possible if we work hard enough . . . that willpower is what it takes! The exercise of willpower has been the typical message for what it takes to quit smoking, to stop using nicotine. We hear that if we can’t stop, we must be weak, lack willpower, or not want to enough. To be asked to admit we are “powerless over nicotine” may strike some as only to confirm that insult. Not at all.

As newcomers, many of us also did not truly understand what it meant to be powerless, or what advantage there was in admitting it. It can be difficult to admit to ourselves (and certainly to other people) that we may have any shortcoming at all. To understand and admit that we are powerless over our nicotine use—or any compulsive behavior for that matter—may not be a simple thing to do.



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One way to consider the reality about being powerless over nicotine is scientific. Research has clearly shown that nicotine is among the most addictive drugs commonly used by people, especially when inhaled in smoke. The inhaled nicotine goes directly to the lungs, to the heart, to the brain in seconds- BAM! The fast high concentration increases the grip of addiction. Many people who use even a small amount of nicotine become addicted.

So, we are powerless to change the fact that nicotine ingested into the human body will nearly always cause a progressive addiction and the compulsive use of nicotine. Once we understood this aspect of being powerless we can stop wasting our efforts of trying to control or fight nicotine’s powerful effect. We can stop blaming ourselves for being a weak person who “can’t quit.” However, we can admit, “I am addicted to nicotine.” Getting "clean" involves getting honest with ourselves.

At first, some of us did not fully understand just how unmanageable our lives were because of our nicotine use. After all, we had once believed that nicotine actually made our lives manageable. Most of us have tried many times to quit nicotine without success. We tried to control our use by limiting the times or places we used nicotine, the quantity we used, by using off-brands, etc. When we had to control the use of a substance by such extreme methods we realized just how unmanageable our lives had become.

When we work Step One we face and admit the truth- by using nicotine “our lives had become unmanageable.” This addiction and its unmanageability can affect us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There can be consequences to our finances, our relationships, our job, and in many aspects of our lives.

We will explore these issues in more depth as we work through the steps. For now, consider identifying some of the ways your life has become unmanageable, and the main reasons you want to live your

• burning holes in clothes, rugs, furniture, skin, etc.

life free of nicotine. Be specific about your statements. Consider items such as:

• getting tooth and gum decay, sore throats, coughing fits, bronchitis, pneumonia, emphysema, chest pains • upsetting your family and friends who want you to stop • causing others to get sick from your secondhand smoke • wasting money you need to pay bills • being ashamed standing outside doorways to smoke or seen spitting tobacco juice • feeling you are betraying your spiritual beliefs.

When you have finished your list, “admit” them out loud. __________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________ The other vital aspect of understanding we are powerless over nicotine is spiritual in nature. By humbly

accepting we are powerless over nicotine, we surrender the agonizing and frustrating battle to control nicotine that we have been waging on our own. This surrender is a great relief! This surrender is not a “giving up”- it is an opening up. Among other things, it is an opening up to the “we” of the fellowship. This surrender could be disturbing and lonely if it did not lead us to seek help. That leads us to Step Two.



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STEP TWO Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

People arrive at Nicotine Anonymous meetings with all sorts of beliefs, spiritual and otherwise. Some beliefs serve us well, others do not (such as believing we cannot live without nicotine). Keeping an open mind to these steps and to what you hear at meetings can help you develop positive beliefs that truly work for you.

You could consider the wording of Step Two in several parts of a process. Having accepted our powerlessness and the unmanageability in Step One, we came to Nicotine Anonymous meetings to seek help. One might say we “came to” our senses that we were willing to accept help. This help we came to believe in is “a power greater than ourselves.” As a whole, Step Two tells us that we come to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Step Two is the Hope Step. It is our experience that when we take the action to come, and come to believe, we can be restored to sanity and to accept the reality of living without nicotine. As we came to meetings, we gradually came out of an isolation from behind the “smoke screen.” We began to connect with other members who understood what we were going through, who accepted us without judgment, and who had begun to live without nicotine and with gratitude.

Step Two has worked for others and it can work for you. You don’t have to be religious. You can believe in the many sources of power at work in Nicotine Anonymous.

First there is the group itself, the members who have gone through similar experiences that you are going through. The group will support you, encourage you, and be there for you. The hope and strength of the group is a power greater than one individual. As you listen to members’ stories of how this program has worked for them, keep an open mind. You can take in their hope and their strength, both have come from their experience. Whenever you struggle to feel hope, come to believe, and borrow the hope of your fellow members, including your sponsor.

Reading and studying Nicotine Anonymous literature offers you the power of words approved by delegates at our World Services Conferences.

Perhaps the most important source of power you can avail yourself of is a spiritual belief in a Higher Power. Higher Power may mean God, Buddha, Yahweh, Allah, et al. Higher Power can also be the spirit of your group, the inspiration from nature, or some special object that connects you spiritually- anything outside of yourself that gives you hope and/or serenity.

The more you throw yourself into this program with all your enthusiasm and dedication the more you will get out of it. If you feel hesitant, act as if you can until you are sure. Some members say, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” This can also be a way to practice coming to believe.

The last part of Step Two, “restore us to sanity,” might bother some people. Does that mean we have been insane? Well, is it sane to go out in bad weather or late at night because we’re out of our nicotine delivery system? Is it sane to keep buying tobacco when you are struggling to pay your bills? Is it sane to use nicotine when advised by a doctor to quit? Is it sane to smoke when you have a sore throat, bad cold or toothache, or worse yet- when a family member has already died from the effects of smoking? Is it sane to chew when your mouth is aching from the lesions caused by your drug? Is it sane to believe in nicotine, as a solution, as a friend, as a love, as a higher power when it compels you to use it and can destroy your health and kill you?

In our addiction, we believed in nicotine and it ruled and ruined our lives. Now we look to believe in a power that is life-affirming. When we come to believe that a true caring power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity, we then need to let that Power into our lives to guide and care for us. The next step is about making that decision.



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STEP THREE Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God

as we understood Him.

Because we are powerless over nicotine (Step One) and we believe that a power greater than ourselves can help us (Step Two), then it makes sense that we let that power guide and care for us (Step Three).

As you begin to accept Step Three, your life can become easier. You can begin let go of the confusion, uncertainty, fear, and disappointment as you accept that trying to stop using nicotine on your own just has not worked.

You might feel that Step Three is asking too much. You may think it’s too much of a change from how you acted during your entire life. Many of us had similar concerns, but over time we found that this program works best when we make this decision. What we had been doing clearly had not worked to set us free.

We realized that our own will was only used to saying “I will

You don’t have to make this decision “forever,” you may just make it for today. You will hear it said many times that members work this program “one day at a time.” However, if a day seems too long, you can make the decision for an hour, or even a minute. Practice makes progress.

have a cigarette” (or nicotine in some form). So, turning our will over to a power greater than ourselves made sense. Instead of being compelled to use more nicotine, we chose to be guided by the care of a Higher Power of our own understanding.

To become willing to attend meetings, to listen to what works for others, to share your own experience, is a form of “turning it over.” Instead of listening to your will that says you can deal with a craving by lighting another cigarette or put another dip between your cheeks and gums, you can turn your will over and be guided by the care of your Higher Power. Again, practice makes progress.

Those of us who pray may find a simple prayer is the most helpful thing to guide us in a good orderly direction and simply do “the next right thing.” It could be phrased like this: “Higher Power, please keep me from using ... I need your help!” Or, try a mantra or affirmation: “My Higher Power will carry my burden.”

You will find our Third Step Prayer in Part III of Nicotine Anonymous: The Book in the chapter for Step Three. Members find that repeating this prayer regularly does wonders.

When we turn our will and our lives over to our Higher Power, we find that we are more free, less burdened; we feel more courageous, less fearful. Developing a caring connection with our fellow members, our sponsor, and a Higher Power is most helpful as we continue to truly look at who we have been, and embrace the hope of who we want to be. For that, we move on to Step Four.

[Note-:A newcomer may hear from an experienced member that focusing on only the first three steps is enough for now. ]

STEP FOUR Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.

In Step Three we made a decision to be guided with care by a power greater than ourselves in order to make changes in our lives and stop using nicotine. We found that to reach our goal we needed to take a good look at ourselves. To begin with, we can ask ourselves (as you can ask yourself) questions such as:

What were my reasons for starting to use nicotine (e.g. start smoking)?



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What have been my reasons for continuing to use nicotine?

What are my reasons for stopping the use of nicotine?

What are the strong points about my character do I like?

What are the weaknesses or faults of my character?

What about my behavior and attitudes is working?

What about my behavior and attitudes is not working?

How do I interact with others?

You will find more questions in Nicotine Anonymous: The Book

We find it best to actually write down our answers. Be as honest as you can. As you continue to attend meetings you will likely add further insights and edit your perspective. You may hear other members describe the process like peeling back “layers of an onion.” This work can be challenging, but know it is about healing, not hurting. Even though part of the process is to be aware of our faults, our shortcomings, we do this to get better, not to feel bad about ourselves.

, Part II.

You may want to do this Step Four work in private. You may choose to do some of it with your sponsor or a trained counselor. Choose a method that is comfortable for you, whatever helps you to be as honest as you can. If we don’t fully assess our strengths and weaknesses, it is difficult to know what needs changing in order to truly do better and feel better.

How does Step Four apply to nicotine? We once may have thought that using nicotine made us “feel better.” Who doesn’t want to feel better? The problem with nicotine is it may provide a brief chemical illusion of “better”. . . until withdrawal always sets in. The withdrawal symptoms cause stress reactions that drive us to relieve that stress with yet another dose, after dose, after dose . . . with the very real direction toward illness, even death. Many of us realized that nicotine deadened our feelings which we mistook for relief. Some of us didn’t allow our feelings to show because we believed it wasn’t okay. Our views were not true, our feelings not clear, our lives were unmanageable. If we want to “clear the air” we found it essential to get clear about ourselves. Working Step Four and getting our insights written out in front of us is a way that works. There are various methods suggested in the chapter about Step Four in Nicotine Anonymous: The Book. Once you have made a good effort with your personal inventory you are ready to take the next step.

STEP FIVE Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

After you have made your honest inventory, this next step further develops your humility. When we admit to our Higher Power and ourselves what we have hidden due to awkwardness, fear, or shame, the humility that comes opens us to receive the help we need to succeed and recover.

When you share what you have learned with another human being, let it be someone you trust. Your Nicotine Anonymous group may be a good place to begin to share parts of your inventory at a pace with which you are comfortable. Or, you might want to start by sharing with your sponsor, minister, therapist, or a close friend you can trust.



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As we listen and share at meetings, we find that we are not unique, weird, or bad. This is because many of us have similar thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. What a relief to find common bonds with others! For many of us that bond is what we were looking for as kids when we gathered and smoked together. At that awkward age, smoking may have provided a common behavior and a sense of belonging.

Step Five is referred to by some as “putting down the hundred-pound sack of garbage that I’ve carried around all these years,” or “hauling the garbage to the dump.” However you describe it, Step Five is like a housecleaning of the mind, sorting out the junk to be rid of, putting the valuables neatly in place to see. This way you can devote your energy to becoming healthier and happier. You can build up your strong points and work on changing old behaviors.

You are preparing yourself to be freed from things in your past that may have nagged at you, like nicotine. With honesty and humility you can become ever more ready to let go of behaviors and attitudes that no longer serve your best interests.

STEP SIX Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

The key words in this step are “entirely ready.” “Entirely” does not mean perfection. We seek progress, not perfection. “Entirely” is more about a commitment, a complete acceptance to receive help and a willingness to let go of character traits that do not serve us or intentionally harm others.

We also entirely accept that the only person we can truly change and control is ourself. We empower ourselves by entirely taking responsibility for our behavior and attitudes. Although we have been influenced both positively and negatively by other people and events in our lives, our actions and reactions for today are our responsibility, i.e. our response-ability to life.

It can be very challenging to let go of certain long held behaviors and attitudes, even those that have injured or diminished our lives. Maybe they once served us in some manner, but the step work we have done has shown us that they no longer do. We found that this process of self improvement is best done with our humble willingness to accept the guidance and care of a power greater than ourselves.

Our Promises begins with: “On our path to freedom, joy, and serenity, we are guided by the Twelve Steps of Nicotine Anonymous, which allow us to successfully steer the treacherous curves of craving, emotionality, turmoil, and unmanageability. Our spiritual life is not a theory; we have to live it.” Step Six seeks positive change and a reminder that “our spiritual life is not a theory; we have to live it.”

It is continually important to remind ourselves that we work this program one day at a time. We may become “entirely ready” just for today, or just for the next decision or event in our lives. We may work this step several times in any given day.

For example, we may use this step when we might face whether or not to succumb to a craving to use nicotine. We can choose to seek help to accept the craving and wait for the craving to pass, rather than repeating the lie, “I need a cigarette,” that gives us permission again to suck down nicotine. You can read more about this in the pamphlet, The Serenity Prayer for Nicotine Users. Becoming entirely ready to have our “defects of character” removed brings us to the next step.

STEP SEVEN

Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Step Seven begins with the word, “Humbly” and this is the attitude with which this step starts. Here, with honesty and gentleness, we are mindful of our humanness, accepting our normal human limitations. Having



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humility is not about accepting humiliation that would mean you are less human than anyone. Humility eases our ability to accept the helpful support and inspiration from a power greater than ourselves.

We have found it helpful to work this step by saying a prayer. Write one for yourself or use Our Seventh Step Prayer:

“My Higher Power, I place myself in your hands and humbly ask that my character defects be lifted from me so that I may help others. Please grant me willingness, courage, and strength so that through my actions I may reflect your love and wisdom. Amen.”

Our recovery experience has shown us to say a prayer often. Doing so increases our conscious contact with the Higher Power that we each determine for ourselves. We can communicate aloud or silently. We can include other prayers, affirmations, and meditations. Members may regularly have this conscious contact with their Higher Power as they work this step upon waking each day or at anytime.

Prayer and practicing this step reminds us of our powerlessness and that help is there if we ask for it. Humility can allow us to move closer to our Higher Power and can bring us serenity. Humility is accepting that our Higher Power is our guiding and caring force that can help us clean up our lives and live more happy, joyous, and free.

The process to clean up of our lives also involves reviewing our past interactions with people, even places, to consider whether there is a situation that deserves our attention. In order to move forward in a good orderly direction, we need to consider what messes we have left behind. We begin this process with Step Eight.

STEP EIGHT Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

Step Eight is once again practicing honesty, humility, willingness, and even courage- to face our self rather

than continuing to hide from or deny our past actions. Many members realize that they used nicotine to numb their uncomfortable feelings and hide behind a “smokescreen.”

Step Eight is not about punishing ourselves, or to make us feel guilty or ashamed. Working the steps is about healing ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Working the steps is not about hurting ourselves. Yet we accept that there can be painful moments when recalling past events and when taking an honest look at transgressions in our lives. Again, here is another benefit of a relationship with a Higher Power, a sponsor, and our fellow members.

To begin making such a list you may want to review what you wrote down during your fourth step work. You may have included names or situations that apply to Step Eight. In reviewing the shortcomings you included, you may be able to connect them to people and situations in your past.

You might start by just making a list of names that you realize you harmed in some manner. You might want to consider places you harmed such as where you discarded butts or spit tobacco juice. You might then go back and fill in how you specifically harmed that person or place.

Remember, this work is not about what that person may have done to us. We are simply looking at what actions for which we are responsible. Step Eight is also not meant to be a courtroom where cases are argued and debated. It is not looking for explanations or excuses. The focus is on our self, the only person we can change, and heal.

You may find that making the list of people is easy, but becoming willing to make amends to them may be far more challenging. Your sponsor can be very helpful with this step. He or she can help you better understand who you owe amends to and how to go about making them when appropriate, and when the time comes to do so.



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Of all the people we have harmed, certainly consider putting yourself on your list. Some of those harms due to tobacco use may be easy to identify, but other behaviors and attitudes may require deeper reflection and insight. Here again your sponsor can be helpful.

When we look at our harmful behavior with nicotine consider secondhand smoke. Do you know that secondhand smoke is harmful to others, especially children?

Among the over 4,000 chemicals that are in tobacco smoke, more than 200 are poisons, more than 60 can cause cancer. All of the people and pets you ever smoked near may have been harmed to some degree, or at least offended by the smell. Also, do you know that the tar in smoke sticks those toxins to all the surfaces inside a home or car that others touch with their skin? How about other forms of tobacco, like dipping or chewing; in what ways was your behavior harmful?

Again, this step is not meant to be a guilt trip, but it’s important to be aware of all the realities related to our nicotine use. You cannot go back and change what happened. Punishing yourself for your nicotine use is not the answer. You have punished yourself enough by the harm you did to yourself while using nicotine. However, once you become willing to make amends, you can move to the next step in “getting clean” by actually making the amends to those people (and places) you had harmed.

STEP NINE Made direct amends to such people wherever possible,

except when to do so would injure them or others.

This is the step that follows through on the process begun in Step Eight. Making amends requires common sense, tactfulness, and courage. Even when making amends is to yourself, try to do this gently and with care. We suggest that you discuss the amends you plan to make with another person such as your sponsor, or someone in the program who has a lot of time.

If we have harmed someone financially, then under most circumstances it would be appropriate to pay them back. If we have taken something, we can return it. If we have over-reacted to someone, we can admit it and apologize. Whatever we may have done to harm another, whether intentionally or not, we can offer an apology, and make every effort not to do so again. A true amends means there is a sincere effort to change our behavior in the present. When you are able to make amends, you will usually be rewarded with forgiveness and possibly much more.

However, sometimes the person to whom you are making amends will be angry and will not accept your apology. If this happens, remember you cannot control that person’s response. Maybe the harm you caused is more than that person can “get over” with just an initial apology. Maybe that will change over time, as you continue to change your behavior. But all you can do is change yourself.

Possibly an amends was not an appropriate choice, and has again injured them or others. If our mistaken decision was a sincere and thoughtful effort, we can only apologize and then forgive ourselves. With humility we accept our human limitations.

Great care and thought are necessary to follow the guidance “except when to do so would injure them or others.” In certain cases it might not be appropriate to make direct amends to a specific person. You might make a silent amends, possibly in some sort of ritual you create for this purpose.

You could also look for ways to make an indirect amends that simply focuses on improving the particular behavior that harmed someone with how you now act toward others in general, yet mindful for who it is for. Another way to make indirect amends is to write a letter that won’t be mailed. In it you can honestly say what is in your heart and then put the letter away or destroy it if you choose.



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Sometimes the person may have died or can’t be located. Again, in these cases it may be more appropriate to make general amends (volunteer at a nursing home, mentor a child, clean up cigarette butts out in nature, environmental or other service work, etc.), in a way that is meaningful to you.

Sometimes it is just not possible to make amends at all. When this is the case, you may need to let the desire to make amends be enough.

The main purpose of Step Nine is to come to terms with your part of an interaction and let it go. You may find that you no longer carry guilt feelings as a burden that you had covered over with nicotine. Coming to terms with misbehavior, you may be less likely to repeat it.

If your making the amends helps another feel better, that’s a good thing, but that’s not the main purpose of Step Nine. You can only control your effort, not the outcome. And we honor our amends by how we behave today. Being human, we will make mistakes, we will act imperfectly, and we may still harm others. That is why we have Step Ten.

STEP TEN

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

Step Ten guides us to remain vigilant and humble about our behavior in the present moment and whenever we are wrong to promptly admit it. We take comfort knowing we can ask our Higher Power for the courage to change the things we can. We need not struggle to cover up our wrongs, be defensive, or keep carrying a collection of guilt. Working Step Ten reduces uncomfortable feelings we once carried around and numbed with nicotine.

There are various ways you can work this step in the course of a day. One standard tip for checking on yourself as it relates to self care. That is to pause and practice H.A.L.T.. You ask yourself whether you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired and promptly take care of any of those basic needs. Doing so may also prevent acting poorly toward others.

You can privately spend some time every day quietly reflecting on your life and your relationships with others. You might have a check list with some typical questions such as:

• Am I slipping back into old behaviors?

• Am I trying to control others?

• Have I gotten angry and stuffed the feeling instead of addressing a situation appropriately?

• Am I being judgmental?

• Am I being a perfectionist?

• Have I been blaming others for situations I created? If you find there is something to change in your behavior you can correct it.

If you begin to feel the need for a nicotine fix, it’s important to stop and pay attention to what you’re doing. Old behaviors can come back so fast it’s as if they were never gone. A way to begin to work on these is to simply notice and be aware of them.

You might want to write every morning or evening in a journal. Watch for the feelings of resentment, bitterness, hostility, depression, self-pity, or any feeling you may have used nicotine to ignore or stuff away by puffing away.

Be honest and open one day at a time with the people you live with, work with, and see at Nicotine Anonymous meetings. Stay current with yourself. If you act inappropriately in some way, own up to it, and go about correcting it. Talk to your sponsor and report feelings so that they are not stuffed or carried around like so much garbage.



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When we find ourselves struggling with one of our defects of character, many members “turn it over” or give their defect to their Higher Power. This is a spiritual way to detach from it and re-center ourselves in the principles of our program. We have found that our relationship with a Higher Power of our own understanding is so important to maintain and to continually develop. Step Eleven guides us to do just that.

STEP ELEVEN Sought through prayer and meditation

to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Prayer and meditation are terms we use for how we make conscious contact with our Higher Power. Each member comes to his or her own understanding of what prayer and meditation means. For some prayer and meditation may involve a more formal ritual, while for others this can be as simple as when they ask and listen.

We have our established prayers, the Serenity Prayer, Third Step Prayer, and Seventh Step Prayer. Certainly members can use their own words to ask for spiritual guidance and care as they develop their own personal relationship with a Higher Power. We seek to fulfill a higher purpose with our precious life that does not involve using nicotine, putting toxins in our bodies, clouding our minds, numbing our feelings, and dishonoring our spirits.

You are engaged in a process of recovery. Remember, your will got you into this addiction and made your life unmanageable. To regain the life of your full potential, this step suggests that you pray for the knowledge of a power greater than yourself. Take faith in the fact that this is what our members have been doing. At meetings you hear them share this experience.

Meditation can quiet your mind so that you can hear your Higher Power’s knowledge. As with still waters, in a state of peace, there is clarity. From clarity, there is strength. From strength, there comes faith. From faith, there is hope, and from hope there is progress.

Yes, our goal is to gain freedom from nicotine, but we can gain so much more in this recovery process. Working the Twelve Steps is a spiritual journey, which brings us to Step Twelve.

STEP TWELVE Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message

to nicotine users and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Quitting smoking or chewing may have been many members’ only goal when they first joined Nicotine

Anonymous. Yet most of us discover the program offers us so much more. Working the steps, being part of a fellowship, and developing a relationship with a power greater than ourselves can become an ongoing profound experience. Members have an opportunity to realize they have a higher purpose than they may have thought previously or possible for themselves.

What we have learned about ourselves, how our behavior has become more meaningful, and the way our beliefs have evolved – all are part of a “spiritual awakening.” For this and our freedom from nicotine we feel a deep gratitude.

Through this process of growth and change in Nicotine Anonymous, we find we want to share our happiness and serenity with others. Offering service to other members, our group, intergroup, or World Services is one of the five tools we use in our own recovery process. We want other suffering nicotine addicts to have the opportunity to recover and discover. And so, we carry the message of Nicotine Anonymous to other nicotine users who seek help.

There are many ways to carry the message. Some examples are as follows: Distribute NicA meeting schedules and pamphlets at the offices of your doctors, dentist, other health professionals in hospitals and clinics, and local Lung Association, Heart Association, and Cancer Society. If you are comfortable speaking in front of



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groups you can volunteer to speak at local “quit smoking” programs, mental health agencies, or drug rehabilitation facilities. You can simply tell your story and let staff and clients know about Nicotine Anonymous.

You can also join your local intergroup and help local groups feel connected to a larger whole. You can become a delegate and attend the annual Nicotine Anonymous World Services Conferences. Supporting the fellowship organization so that it can better carry the message is a way all members can serve.

Through service we transform the negative experience of our addiction into helping others. We recover self-esteem and gain a new sense of our value. As we practice the principles of Nicotine Anonymous in all our affairs (such as honesty, humility, and helping others) we feel better about ourselves and find that we fulfill a higher purpose for our lives. We fill an emptiness we once treated with nicotine. This is how we recover (together). This is how we live more happy, joyous, and free lives.

“GRAB BAG of Goodies” Offerings from members: Take what you want and leave the rest.

What About “Unmanageability”? The second part of Step One has to do with how unmanageable our lives have become due to our addiction to

nicotine. Careful and reflective thought may provide new insight and increase your desire to do something about your addiction. Here are a few questions to help you consider how using nicotine causes difficulties and stress in your life.

1. Do you need a cigarette, pipe, cigar, chew, dip, snuff, nicotine gum or patch to help you carry on a conversation with another person, to talk on the phone?

2. How do you feel emotionally when you have run out of your nicotine delivery system? 3. Can you choose not to use nicotine in a particular situation or time and be comfortable about it? 4. Do you buy your nicotine even when you need money for more important things? 5. How do you feel when someone comments on the amount of nicotine you use? 6. Are there particular times or activities when you feel you just have to have a cigarette or other form of nicotine? 7. What is the difference in your feelings or thoughts right after you open a new package of your nicotine delivery

system compared to how you feel when the package is almost empty? 8. Do you expose children or pets to your secondhand smoke? How do you feel about the harm you are doing to them? 9. How do you feel about your children using nicotine? What responsibility do you have for their addiction? 10. How do you react to the medical facts now available on the dangers of using tobacco in any form? 11. How do you feel about yourself being addicted to a drug?

These may not be yes or no, true or false, or easily answered questions. Until joining Nicotine Anonymous, many of our members avoided taking an honest look at how being a nicotine addict impacts their lives and the lives of others. We kept dismissing our concerns, especially when a nicotine burst reached our brains and cut off our common sense. Many of us were led to believe that nicotine was actually “our friend”…even our “best friend.”

Why do we use nicotine? Nicotine is a stimulant similar to cocaine and amphetamines. Also present in cigarettes is acetaldehyde, the

first metabolic product of alcohol, which is much stronger than alcohol and has strong sedative properties. Low doses of nicotine cause release of acetylcholine. High doses of nicotine block the flow of acetylcholine. So we can manipulate our moods by how we smoke (shallow puffs for alertness, deep drags to relax), how deeply we suck in the drug. We are self-medicating every time we use nicotine.



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Nicotine affects the brain and central nervous system, stimulating the production of various mood-altering

chemicals. It makes us feel good—or think we feel good—and can act as a calming or a stimulating agent. And, it’s also addictive. We begin to need more and more in order to maintain the same effect. Withdrawal is often very difficult, especially without the help and support of a program like Nicotine Anonymous.

The relapse rate among smokers is high. Many of our members who are recovering from addiction to other

substances share that nicotine is the hardest drug to stop using, and to stay stopped. In spite of the known health hazards, more than one billion people in the world smoke (World Health Organization, 2010).

Is this not insanity? According to statistics compiled by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, tobacco kills more

Americans each year than alcohol, drugs, car accidents, homicide, suicide, fires, and AIDS COMBINED! A Reflection From a New Member Who Smoked Cigarettes

“-Perhaps at one time I could have said to myself with ego-assured conviction that I could quit if I really wanted to. I don’t believe that now. I do, in fact, have an immediate and desperate life-threatening condition which requires elimination of smoking to have any chance at all for a few more years of life. Three months ago I had part of a lung removed because it was cancerous. I lit up a cigarette just after leaving the hospital. This is not a sane act! I am absolutely and terminally addicted to tobacco. I am powerless! My only hope is that some power greater than myself can (and will) remove this obsession and restore me to sanity. I truly believe such a higher power exists. I want access to this power.”

Some of us may question the presence of such a power. Through experience in this program of recovery, members come to believe in some form of a power greater than them. Such a belief is of each member’s own understanding. For many members, their NicA group comes to be, or represents, this higher power. As members share their experience strength, and hope and offer understanding, acceptance, and support to each other, newcomers can experience a power greater than themselves. Such sharing is a two-way street, from which all members gain. Even when newcomers who are still using share, it serves to remind all of the powerlessness of people still actively addicted to nicotine.

Additional Suggestions From Members When Letting Go of Nicotine These are some of the things that some of our members have found useful. See what works for you. Please

remember: take what you like and leave the rest. We also have a pamphlet: Tips for Gaining Freedom from Nicotine. Another of our helpful pamphlets is, Slogans to Help Us Be Happy, Joyous and Free Living Without Nicotine. Our Choice

We are making a choice to stop smoking or using some form of nicotine. We chose to be healthier. We have decided to stop poisoning our bodies. We prefer smelling good, rather than reeking of tobacco. We want to feel better about ourselves. We want to live longer. This is all our choice.



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Prepare with a plan: Just Before Quitting Stock up on fruit juice, chewing gum, cinnamon sticks, hard candy, cloves, licorice root, or other devices to

help you with your oral needs. Have your Nicotine Anonymous literature close by for support anytime. Have your list of phone numbers with you so you can call when you get the urge. Keep a list of your reasons to get free of nicotine with you and decide to read it as a reminder before you use nicotine. What else can you do?

_______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ Alternatives: Tapering Off or Cutting Down on Your Nicotine Use

You can restrict or change the way you have used nicotine. Here are some suggestions: • Do one of the alternative activities first to delay your next use • Decide how many times a day you will use nicotine, and gradually reduce that number over time • Decide you can only use nicotine at certain times of the day, and/or in certain places • Use the opposite hand when smoking, or put your nicotine in an unfamiliar location • Switch brands to one you may “like less.” • Have a fireball candy, cinnamon flavor, or milk (considered incompatible taste with smoking) • Look in a mirror before using, you may decide you don’t want it, now • Don’t empty your ashtrays or spit cup right away, save the contents in a large glass jar to remind yourself

of how much nicotine you have used that day/week. Open the jar and take a sniff before using again. What other ideas can you come up with to change your behavior patterns with your nicotine use? _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________

Practice Makes Progress 1. Delay times to use: • One hour after waking in the morning • One hour after each meal • One mile after you start to drive

• One minute after answering the phone 2. Practice not using when: • In the car • On the telephone • Eating or drinking • In the bathroom • Reading • Watching TV • Getting ready to go to bed 3. Stay aware when you are using, do nothing else—just do that 4. Practice taking regular “deep breath breaks” throughout the day 5. Include walking and/or sensible exercise in a weekly plan 6. Drink liquids (e.g., water, fruit juice) and reduce/avoid intake of any caffeine or alcohol products (this may

make it easier to stay quit in the first week or two)



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7. Maintain a sufficient amount of sleep 8. Write a diary of your progress toward quitting (becoming free) 9. Include spiritual time each morning and evening, (you can ask to be released from your obsession to use

nicotine) 10. Say the Serenity Prayer frequently throughout the day 11. Call members in Nicotine Anonymous 12. Talk to your sponsor every day Write a “Dear Me” letter

Write a “Dear Me” letter to yourself about how your smoking (or however you use nicotine) impacts your life and the lives of loved ones. Include the reasons why you want to start living free of nicotine. How does smoking conflict with goals you have? This is a “Dear Me” letter, not a “Woe is Me” letter. Be as honest and sincere as you can when you write. Then read it out loud, rather than just silently go over it. This is important. How does it feel to read it out loud? What does this experience tell you about yourself? Share this information with your sponsor. Consider your abilities or talents

Even if you have serious doubts about whether you can actually stop using nicotine, consider the abilities or talents you have developed in your life. Whatever they are they probably took patience and persistence to get good at them. Keep in my mind the strengths you have and what it took it have them. Getting free and staying free of nicotine can take patience and persistence. The work of the recovery process can improve these strengths. Quitting: The First Days

In addition to throwing out or destroying your nicotine delivery system, throw away all paraphernalia, including lighters, matches, and ashtrays. As soon as you can, visit the dentist to have the tobacco stains cleaned from your teeth. Notice how nice they look and resolve to keep them that way. Start saving your “nicotine money” and notice how quickly it adds up.

Keep very busy during the first week. Go to as many NicA meetings as you can. Go to the movies, exercise, take long walks, go bike-riding or spend time in museums, galleries, or other non-smoking environments (theaters, libraries, department stores and churches). Talk about what you are feeling with a support person rather than numb your feelings with nicotine. To keep your hands busy, play with a pencil, paper clip, or marble. If you miss having something in your mouth, try sugarless mints/chewing gum, toothpick, licorice root, cinnamon stick, or a cut-off plastic straw. Hold onto a spiritual object you choose for comfort. Call members in Nicotine Anonymous. We are your support group. Stay in close touch with your sponsor. What other ideas do you have?

The Value of Gratitude Nicotine Anonymous members come to feel deep gratitude for freedom from nicotine. We learn to nourish and

experience our gratitude by offering service. When we are in our gratitude, we do not use nicotine.

One of the best ways to stay clean is to become involved doing service in our meetings or Intergroup. Our Promises state: “Gradually, our interest is focusing on Nicotine Anonymous rather than nicotine.” This can be done by offering to prepare refreshments, set up chairs, handle the literature and celebration chips, welcome newcomers, or serve a stint as the group secretary, treasurer, or chairperson. Group members can participate in Intergroup meetings and activities. Find some way to be of service that you feel comfortable with. Service helps you stay abstinent and free. We believe: “Service is Gratitude in Action.” Careful About Relapse Worksheet

Sometimes after we have not used nicotine for a while, delusion sets in and we begin to think in crazy ways, i.e., “I feel sorry for myself because I had to give up something I really enjoyed: using nicotine was one of my few



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pleasures.” “It isn’t fair, why should I suffer like this? I feel deprived.” These are examples of how a slip or relapse starts in our heads even before nicotine gets in our hands. To dig more deeply into these ideas, we can answer the following questions. Feel free to expand on them on an additional sheet of paper.

What are the pleasures you are being deprived of?

1. ______________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________________

What are the negative consequences of using nicotine that you are now free of?

1. ______________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________

4. ______________________________________________________________

“It was relatively easy to quit. I’ve got that licked. I can handle nicotine now. I can smoke once in a while now.” Explain why this is deluded thinking.

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

As time accumulates, the pain of quitting lessens and lessens, and soon you will be able to spend hours, days, and even weeks without thinking about nicotine.

Remember, try not to think in terms of quitting forever, think in terms of quitting one day at a time. One day at a time is enough of a commitment! We do not want to overwhelm ourselves by thinking we will never use nicotine again. Sometimes saying never is self-defeating. If you need to, say, “I will not take nicotine for one minute, two minutes ... three minutes ... one hour ...” etc. Just keep adding a little bit of time together and you’ll make it through the day. You can do whatever it takes to gain more time free of nicotine.

If you smoked you may find after some time you may begin to wonder if a cigarette will taste as good as you remembered. This is the phenomenon is called “euphoric recall” which occurs after some time free from nicotine. For some, this may trigger their thinking this is a return of cravings, but this is only the mind’s memory- certainly not a command one must obey.

If you experience euphoric recall, it is wise to remember the reasons you quit in the first place: the hacking smoker’s cough, the tight chest, the sore throat, the awful taste in your mouth, the smell of stale smoke on your body and belongings, the cigarette burns in the furniture, clothing and your body, the anger and fear of loved ones, and the ultimate threat of impending cancer, heart disease and/or emphysema. The fact that nicotine can create euphoric recall in our brains, separate from the area of our brain’s that keep track of the real serious consequences, is another example of how we are powerless over nicotine. With this awareness we remain humble, and continue to practice Nicotine Anonymous principles to maintain our sanity and freedom.



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If you find yourself getting into self-pity, saying “Why did I have to quit?” you might want to review your reasons for quitting: • Write a gratitude list • Call someone who is still struggling with nicotine • Share about your feelings at a meeting MEMBERS’ SHORT SHARES:

“I like coming home to a house that doesn’t stink from stale tobacco. I like not having that foul taste in my mouth. My mouth will begin to heal. I like not having to worry about offending others with my smoke. I am no longer swallowing nicotine juice or spitting it into the environment. My body will soon clean, clean, clean!”

“After abusing my body with nicotine for all those years, I am so happy that I have been able to stop using. I hope that I will always recall how difficult it was to quit so that I will never be tempted to try smoking again.”

“There is no such thing as having just one cigarette. Don’t fall into the trap of deluded thinking that you can handle just one. One cigarette is too many and a thousand are never enough.”

“When I felt anxious, I wanted my nicotine to fix me.” Deep breathing and/or meditation exercises are much healthier fixes.

“Because I am very shaky in the beginning days of quitting, I want to spend as much time as possible in Nicotine Anonymous.” Some members attend every day to keep the nicotine away. Nicotine Anonymous members will be honest with you when you’re engaged in “deluded thinking.” If there aren’t enough meetings in your area there are plenty of online meetings and phone meetings to allow you to attend a meeting every day.

One Member’s Experience and Thoughts About Recovery What a paradox! I’ve quit smoking and I’m supposed to feel better ... but I don’t [yet].

I was in pretty good health before I quit nicotine. So what’s going on? I was healthy before and now I’m sick. I was experiencing shortness of breath. I was anxious. I suddenly become a workaholic. I had to trust the process ... these physical symptoms gradually diminished. While I was recovering, I practiced my illegible handwriting—with those hands that I didn’t know what to do with—by writing in my journal.

Once I had gotten through the physical side of giving up nicotine, the emotional symptoms of recovery started to kick in. I experienced emotions I didn’t know I had, in intensities I never knew existed (They didn’t say it was easy, they just said that it was worth it!).

We’ve given up something that has been with us most of our adult lives and, even though our logic says “Jeez it’s about time!” our emotions take over with “Gimme back my nicotine! Now!” When we don’t take back our nicotine, we become enraged, and angry, (bordering on violence sometimes), we’re resentful (especially toward other nicotine users!) we pout because no one is pinning the Purple Heart to our jackets. We become anxious and lonely (where is my best friend, nicotine?). We’re envious (craving other people’s nicotine), we blame others (if I feel like a victim, why can’t I act like one?). And we are sooo sensitive. Our feelings are so very fragile now. It’s best to let your family and friends know what’s going on. We told people that we’re hurting, or that we needed to be alone—whatever worked best.

Hey, I didn’t know you cried! Now, it seems, that’s all you do. Sound familiar? Some of us are afraid to be alone (back to that old question, where is my best friend, nicotine?). Some of us are afraid to admit to quitting for



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fear of failure. Some of us are depressed, some suicidal. We came to a meeting and share our feelings. We can all help each other.

A lot of nicotine addicts’ experience dreams in which they’re using again ... and the sense of relief upon awakening to find out it was just a dream! We spend so much time focusing on not using nicotine that it even enters our dream life! Phew! The mind is a funny machine. The thoughts of holding, or buying our drug just to hold it, are common notions that whiz through brains that have been using a powerful drug for years. We nicotine addicts are a devious lot and we can rationalize anything to anybody, even “nicotine will fix it!” But it doesn’t.

During our recovery, many of us probably felt the need to slow down a little. Then months later, we might have felt a little nervous about this quitting thing! We tried to convince ourselves that we could handle things now, that we were under control and nicotine will just be a hobby, not like before. Guess what? We were a puff (or chew) away from a pack a day!

Some of the real jittery times (other than the first days) were between three and six months and just before our year anniversary. A lot of us have talked about programming ourselves for failure for a lot of years, and wouldn’t having some nicotine on your 364th day be appropriate behavior? [Not!]

There are so many good things about quitting: physically we got to breathe again, run again, climb stairs, forget that wheeze, maybe we’ll even get that sudden burst of energy. Emotionally, we get to know ourselves. We get to find out who we’ve been hiding behind that veil for all these years.

We’re glad you’re recovering. We’ve all shared many of these symptoms, and together we can all survive them and win back the rest of our lives ... to be lived! Memorial to My Cigarettes (A Lifetime’s Trust Misplaced)

You were closer to me than any living creature. I held you here in my pocket, near my heart, and my lips caressed you more than they did my -family! When I awoke, my thoughts turned to you and remained there all day as I worshipped at your shrine. At home, at work, on the go, relaxing, the fires seldom went out on your altar. I breathed your incense of smoke into the faces of women, children, and even babies. I scattered your ashes wherever I went.

I used you to hide from life, to stuff and deny my emotions, good and bad. I hid from other people and myself behind your smoke screen, and called you my best friend! I called on you for help more than I called upon my Higher Power!

I paid more money for you than I gave to any church or charity. I even risked my life for you! I took one chance in eight of having lung cancer, and three times the chance of death from heart attack, to say nothing of emphysema, chronic bronchitis, etc. I took no such risks for any person, country, or religion!

The marks of my devotion to you I displayed like so many gold medals: a constant cough, stained fingertips and teeth, foul breath, and a body so soaked with nicotine that when I perspired, people turned their heads and walked away. My home, the rugs, drapes, furniture, my clothes and even my car all bore evidence of my devotion.

A new light has dawned! Your appearance, so smart, trim, neat, white and innocent, was tricky and deceiving. I began to realize that you are no hero. Indeed, you are a villain in thin disguise! And I had become more than a smoker; by my own choice I had become your slave!

But now, I can say good-bye to you and all forms of nicotine. I no longer need or want to be your slave. I’m turning to my Higher Power; I’m looking at life and participating in it. I look forward to giving to others. I look forward to better health and a happier, serene, nicotine-free life.

Welcome to Nicotine Anonymous



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NICOTINE ANONYMOUS CONFERENCE APPROVED PRAYERS

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

The Serenity Prayer

Third Step Prayer

Relieve me of the bondage of self.

Help me abandon myself to the spirit.

Move me to do good in this world and show kindness.

Help me to overcome and avoid anger, resentment, jealousy and any other kind of negative thinking today.

Help me to help those who suffer. Keep me alert with courage to face life and not withdraw from it, not to insulate myself from

all pain whereby I insulate myself from love as well.

Free me from fantasy and fear. Inspire and direct my thinking today; let it be divorced from self-pity, dishonesty and self-seeking motives.

Show me the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love.

I pray for all those to whom I’ve been unkind and ask that they are granted the same peace I seek.

Seventh Step Prayer

My Higher Power,

I place myself in your hands and humbly ask

that my character defects be lifted from me so that I may help others.

Please grant me willingness, courage, and strength

so that through my actions I may reflect your love and wisdom.



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START YOUR OWN NICOTINE ANONYMOUS MEETING One of the best insurance plans against return to nicotine use is to throw yourself into involvement with your

own meeting, or volunteering service to existing meetings. You will find nothing quite as effective a deterrent as involvement. By starting your own meeting you keep your initial resolve to remain nicotine-free.

Check with Nicotine Anonymous World Services. They can send you a free starter packet that will include a sample meeting format. Find out from them what other meetings are available in your area and if there is a local intergroup. The Starter Kit is also available for downloading on our Web site. At the home page, click “Meetings” tab in top bar, then select “Start A Meeting.” The web site also makes available an Outreach Booklet with guidance and suggestion to attract new members. Other Meeting Options

In addition to the face-to-face meetings posted on our Web site, some members meet via our Internet Meetings or Phone Meetings. Again, click on the “Meetings” tab and select the options to obtain the information about these types of meetings. For further assistance contact:

Nicotine Anonymous World Services 6333 East Mockingbird Lane, Suite 147-817

Dallas, TX USA 75214 Office: 469-737-9304, Fax: 888-390-5873

Web Site: www.nicotine-anonymous.org E-mail: [email protected]

NICOTINE ANONYMOUS PUBLICATIONS Books Nicotine Anonymous The Book (Fourth Edition) Our Path to Freedom: Twelve Stories of Recovery The Twelve Traditions of Nicotine Anonymous (extended version) 90 Days, 90 Ways, (90 daily meditations) A Year of Miracles, (366 daily meditations) Pamphlets Introducing Nicotine Anonymous To the Newcomer and Sponsorship in Nicotine Anonymous How Nicotine Anonymous Works Nicotine Anonymous, the Program and the Tools A Nicotine User’s View of the Twelve Steps The Serenity Prayer for Nicotine Users Slogans to Help Use Be Happy, Joyous and Free Living Without Nicotine Tips for Gaining Freedom from Nicotine Facing the Fatal Attraction To the Dipper or Chewer: The Smokeless Tobacco User Our Promises What do Nicotine Anonymous World Services and Intergroups Offer Me and My Group? Introducing Nicotine Anonymous to the Medical Profession Are You Concerned About Someone Who Smokes or Chews Tobacco? Quarterly newsletter Seven Minutes: Fellowship news and members’ stories



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NOTES

1. Twelve Traditions of Nicotine Anonymous, the extended version are in Nicotine Anonymous: The Book

, Part IV.

2. Twelve Steps of Nicotine Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over nicotine--that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or

others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood

Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other

nicotine users and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

The Twelve Steps reprinted and adapted with permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc. Permission to reprint and adapt the Twelve Steps does not mean that AA is affiliated with this program. AA is a program of recovery from alcoholism - use of the Twelve Steps in connection with programs and activities which are patterned after AA, but which address other problems does not imply otherwise.

Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge

of His will for us and the power to carry it out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other alcoholics and to practice these

principles in all our affairs.

NEWCOMER S BOOKLET - PatO's Place€¦ · more that can be gained by “working the steps.” The Twelve Steps are a pathway to a “spiritual awakening” that helps free us of behaviors

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