Memo-TrainersListserv-Conquering Communication Styleslegacy.cuna.org/training/trainers/download/2666-099_Conquering_Co… · 1=Not at all like me 2=Somewhat like me 3=Occasionally

MEMO

To: Trainers Listserv Users

From: Lara Loucks, CPLP Director, Training & Development South Florida Educational Federal Credit Union 7800 SW 117 Ave Kendall, FL 33183 v: 305-270-6617 f: 305-270-6584 [email protected] www.sfefcu.org

Date: Friday, January 29, 2010

Re: Conquering Communication Styles material

Hello. Please contact me via email or phone for the editable versions of these files (DOC, PPT, XLS). Thanks and happy training!

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1=Not at all like me 2=Somewhat like me 3=Occasionally like me 4=Usually like me 5=Very much like me A=5 B=1

Q Statement #1 When in a group, I tend to speak and act as a representative of that group.2 I am seldom quiet when I am with other people.3 When faced with a leadership position, I tend to actively accept that role rather than diffuse it among others.4 I would rather meet new people than read a good book.5 Sometimes I ask more from my friends or family than they can accomplish.6 I enjoy going out frequently.7 It's important to me that people follow the advice that I give them.8 I like to entertain guests.9 When I am in charge of a situation, I am comfortable assigning others to specific tasks.

10 I often go out of my way to meet new people.11 In social settings, I find myself asking more questions of others than they ask of me.12 I truly enjoy mixing in a crowd.13 Other people usually think of me as being energetic.14 I make friends very easily.15 I am a verbal person.16 I try to be supportive of my friends no matter what they do.17 If I see it's not going smoothly in a group, I usually take the lead and try to bring some structure to the situation.18 I seldom find it hard to really enjoy myself at a lively party.19 When in a leadership position, I like to clearly define my role and let follows know what is expected.20 I consider myself to be good at small talk.21 I am very good at persuading others to see things my way.22 I can usually let myself go and have fun with friends.23 I often find myself playing the role of leader and taking charge of the situation.24 I do not prefer the simple, quiet life.

25

You are in a conversation with more than one person. Someone makes a statement that you know is incorrect,but you are sure the others didn't catch it. Do you let the others know? A) Yes B) No

26After a hard day's work I prefer to: A) Get together with friends and do something active. B) Relax at home and either watch TV or read.

27When planning a social outing with a small group, I am most likely to: A) Be the first to suggest some plans and try to get the others to make a decision quickly. B) Make sure that everyone has a say in the planning and go along with what the group decides.

28

You have just finished a three-month project for which you have sacrificed a great deal of your free time andenergy. To celebrate, are you more likely to: A) Invite some of your friends over and throw a party. B) Spend a quiet, peaceful weekend doing whatever you wish, either by yourself or with a special friend.

29If I feel that I am underpaid for my work, I am most likely to: A) Confront the boss and demand a raise. B) do nothing and hope the situation improves.

30I think those around me see me as primarily: A) Gregarious and outgoing. B) Introspective and thoughtful.

Directive total 0Affiliative total 0

My Color, My Character Icebreaker Materials: None Estimated Time: 2 minute per participant Purpose: Allows participants to define their own personality and the personality of others which enables them to compare their perceived descriptions with the results of their SELF Profile evaluations. Number of People: max. 20, min.6 (Groups of 2)

1. Allow students to pair up into groups of 2. 2. Have each participant chooses a color that they feel adequately defines their

personality and an explanation for their choice. 3. Each participant will share colors and their reasoning with their partner.

4. The partners will then introduce one another. (This allows each participant to

define their own personality while analyzing how others defined themselves.) 5. Proceed with completion of SELF profile. After participants have completed and

interpreted each of the following styles, have them compare their beginning definitions of themselves with those of the SELF profile results.

07/16/200707/16/2007 11

Conquering Conquering CommunicationCommunicationStyles Styles

Presented by Lara Loucks & Shaquila WilliamsPresented by Lara Loucks & Shaquila Williams

07/16/200707/16/2007 22

ObjectivesObjectives

Explain the purpose and benefits of the SELF Explain the purpose and benefits of the SELF profileprofileComplete a SELF profile and interpret the Complete a SELF profile and interpret the resultsresultsEvaluate how the profile results apply to real Evaluate how the profile results apply to real life situationslife situationsIdentify common characteristics of the four Identify common characteristics of the four profilesprofilesUse the SELF profile in conflict resolutionUse the SELF profile in conflict resolution

07/16/200707/16/2007 33

The SELF ProfileThe SELF Profile

helps you learn about personal helps you learn about personal characteristicscharacteristicsuse it to recognize both your and otheruse it to recognize both your and other’’s s communication styles communication styles interact more effectively in relationships interact more effectively in relationships simply a guidelinesimply a guidelinepeople flex between the different stylespeople flex between the different styles

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What It All Means: What It All Means: AffiliativeAffiliative

Measures your needs and desires for being around Measures your needs and desires for being around

other people.other people.

High means you enjoy working with other people. High means you enjoy working with other people.

Low means you probably are not as outgoing and Low means you probably are not as outgoing and

prefer to work alone.prefer to work alone.

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What It All Means: DirectiveWhat It All Means: Directive

Measures your needs and tendencies to direct and Measures your needs and tendencies to direct and

control situations. control situations.

High means you tend to be comfortable meeting High means you tend to be comfortable meeting

others and controlling situations. others and controlling situations.

Low means that you are less comfortable directing.Low means that you are less comfortable directing.

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The The SS Quadrant: the Quadrant: the SocializerSocializer

6

5

4

3

2

1

6 5 4 3 2 1

Affiliative

Dire

ctiv

e

SHigh need

to direct

Need people more

Need people less

Low need to direct

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SocializerSocializer’’ss StrengthsStrengthsS

PersuasiveRisk-TakerCompetitive

Pursues ChangeConfident

Socially SkilledInspiring

OpenDirect

Outgoing

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SocializerSocializer’’ss WeaknessesWeaknesses

SPushy

IntimidatingOverbearing

RestlessImpatient

ManipulativeAbrasiveReactive

Dominating

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SocializerSocializer’’ss TurnTurn--OnsOns

SAttention

AchievementRecognitionAdventureExcitementSpontaneity

07/16/200707/16/2007 1010

SocializerSocializer’’ss TurnTurn--Offs Offs

SLack of Enthusiasm

WaitingIndecision

Convention

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The The EE Quadrant: theQuadrant: the EstablisherEstablisher

6

5

4

3

2

1

6 5 4 3 2 1

Affiliative

Dire

ctiv

e

EHigh need to direct

Need people more

Need people less

Low need to direct

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EstablisherEstablisher’’ss StrengthsStrengths

EPracticalOrderly

Very DirectSelf-Determined

OrganizedTraditional

Goal-OrientedDependableEconomicalAmbitious

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EstablisherEstablisher’’ss WeaknessesWeaknesses

EDogmaticStubborn

RigidUnapproachable

DistantCritical

Insensitive

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EstablisherEstablisher’’ss TurnTurn--OnsOns

EControl

ResponsibilityMasteryLoyalty

Fast Pace

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EstablisherEstablisher’’ss TurnTurn--OffsOffs

EAmbiguityIrreverence

LazinessShowing Emotions

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The L Quadrant: the The L Quadrant: the LoverLover

6

5

4

3

2

1

6 5 4 3 2 1

Affiliative

Dire

ctiv

e

L

High need

to direct

Need people more

Need people less

Low need to direct

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LoverLover’’ss StrengthsStrengths

LTeam-Oriented

CaringDevoted

EnthusiasticTrustingSensitive

Likes VarietyGregariousPeacemaker

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LoverLover’’s s WeaknessesWeaknesses

LToo other-oriented

IndecisiveImpracticalVulnerable

HesitantSubjective

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LoverLover’’ss TurnTurn--OnsOns

LPopularityCloseness

AffirmationKindness

Caring

07/16/200707/16/2007 2020

LoverLover’’ss TurnTurn--OffSOffS

LInsensitivityDissensionInsincerityEgotism

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The The FF Quadrant: the Quadrant: the FactualizerFactualizer

6

5

4

3

2

1

6 5 4 3 2 1

Affiliative

Dire

ctiv

e

F

High need

to direct

Need people more

Need people less

Low need to direct

07/16/200707/16/2007 2222

FactualizerFactualizer’’ss StrengthsStrengths

FExactingThoroughFactual

ReservedMeticulous

PracticalCalm

High StandardsRisk Avoid

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FactualizerFactualizer’’ss WeaknessesWeaknesses

FSlow to get things done

PerfectionisticWithdrawn

Dull SullenShy

Passive

07/16/200707/16/2007 2424

FactualizerFactualizer’’ss TurnTurn--OnsOns

FPerfectionAutonomy

ConsistencyPractical Things

Information

07/16/200707/16/2007 2525

FOver-assertiveness

CarelessnessArrogance

Fakes

FactualizerFactualizer’’ss TurnTurn--Offs Offs

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SELF Profile GraphSELF Profile Graph

6

5

4

3

2

1

6 5 4 3 2 1

Affiliative

Dire

ctiv

e

S E

L F

High need

to direct

Need people more

Need people less

Low need to direct

07/16/200707/16/2007 2727

Identifying The Four SELF Styles Exercise (1 of 2)Identifying The Four SELF Styles Exercise (1 of 2)

To help you identify the different communication To help you identify the different communication styles in your office, you have been given four styles in your office, you have been given four different descriptions of communication different descriptions of communication TanikaTanika, Jose, , Jose, Larry, & Maria. Identify which style applies to those Larry, & Maria. Identify which style applies to those descriptions.descriptions.

07/16/200707/16/2007 2828

Correct Answers to the Communication StylesCorrect Answers to the Communication StylesTanikaTanika is an L personalityis an L personalityJose is an S personalityJose is an S personalityLarry is an F personalityLarry is an F personalityMaria is an E personalityMaria is an E personality

Identifying The Four SELF Styles Exercise (2 of 2)Identifying The Four SELF Styles Exercise (2 of 2)

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Positive Actions to Take With the Positive Actions to Take With the SocializerSocializer

Show energy and enthusiasmShow energy and enthusiasm

Show interest in what they are doingShow interest in what they are doing

Allow spontaneityAllow spontaneity

Yield to their need for attentionYield to their need for attention

Agree with them as often as possibleAgree with them as often as possible

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Positive Actions to Take With the Positive Actions to Take With the EstablisherEstablisher

Show respect for their position/rankShow respect for their position/rank

Plan on doing most of the talkingPlan on doing most of the talking

Yield to their need to be in controlYield to their need to be in control

Avoid disagreements in areas of common Avoid disagreements in areas of common expertiseexpertise

Engage in activities that donEngage in activities that don’’t require much t require much verbal interactionverbal interaction

07/16/200707/16/2007 3131

Positive Actions to Take With the Positive Actions to Take With the LoverLover

Show sincere interest in them as individualsShow sincere interest in them as individuals

Listen; be caring and sensitiveListen; be caring and sensitive

Be expressiveBe expressive

Be casual and informalBe casual and informal

ConverseConverse

07/16/200707/16/2007 3232

Positive Actions to Take With the Positive Actions to Take With the FactualizerFactualizer

Listen CarefullyListen Carefully

Be friendly, unassuming and entertainingBe friendly, unassuming and entertaining

Be lowBe low--key and supportivekey and supportive

Be the initiatorBe the initiator

Ask their opinion Ask their opinion

07/16/200707/16/2007 3333

The Style of the The Style of the SocializerSocializer

The office of anThe office of an S is a mess, but a well S is a mess, but a well organized room to the S.organized room to the S.Ss are often flamboyant in their dress. Being Ss are often flamboyant in their dress. Being risk takers, they will pull together outfits that risk takers, they will pull together outfits that others wouldnothers wouldn’’t dream of putting togethert dream of putting together--and and they will look good.they will look good.Ss are full of energy. They are in perpetual Ss are full of energy. They are in perpetual motion.motion.Change is important to Ss. Change is important to Ss.

07/16/200707/16/2007 3434

The Style of the The Style of the EstablisherEstablisher

The office of an E is wellThe office of an E is well--organized, although there organized, although there may be some semblances of chaosmay be some semblances of chaosEs tend to dress conservatively. They are Es tend to dress conservatively. They are traditionalist.traditionalist.The homes of Es are wellThe homes of Es are well--organized.organized.

07/16/200707/16/2007 3535

The Style of the The Style of the LoverLover

The office of an L will also be wellThe office of an L will also be well--organized, but organized, but there will be some half finished projects sitting there will be some half finished projects sitting around. Their offices are also comfortable. You might around. Their offices are also comfortable. You might see employees going in and out of the office see employees going in and out of the office regularly.regularly.They are the ones who suggest company picnics and They are the ones who suggest company picnics and get togethers outside the office.get togethers outside the office.

07/16/200707/16/2007 3636

The Style of the The Style of the FactualizerFactualizer

There are file cabinets lining the walls of an F office. There are file cabinets lining the walls of an F office. The office of an F is meticulously neat. The office of an F is meticulously neat. Fs tend to dress conservatively. They arenFs tend to dress conservatively. They aren’’t risk t risk takers.takers.The home of an F is wellThe home of an F is well--organized, tastefully organized, tastefully decorated, but conservative. decorated, but conservative.

07/16/200707/16/2007 3737

Actions to Avoid with the Actions to Avoid with the SocializerSocializer

Avoid boring themAvoid boring themAvoid being indifferentAvoid being indifferentDonDon’’t let them bowl you overt let them bowl you over

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Actions to Avoid with the Actions to Avoid with the EstablisherEstablisher

DonDon’’t expect a lot of warm emotionst expect a lot of warm emotions

DonDon’’t expect praise or thankst expect praise or thanks

DonDon’’t expound on your differencest expound on your differences

DonDon’’t be afraid if they are distantt be afraid if they are distant

07/16/200707/16/2007 3939

Actions to Avoid with the Actions to Avoid with the LoverLover

Avoid taking advantage of their willingness to helpAvoid taking advantage of their willingness to helpAvoid being distant and unapproachableAvoid being distant and unapproachableAvoid being unappreciative or forgetting their Avoid being unappreciative or forgetting their effortseffortsDonDon’’t forget to return their favorst forget to return their favors

07/16/200707/16/2007 4040

Actions to Avoid with the Actions to Avoid with the FactualizerFactualizer

Avoid being arrogant or boastfulAvoid being arrogant or boastful

Avoid being loud or pushyAvoid being loud or pushy

If you donIf you don’’t know about something, dont know about something, don’’t act like t act like you doyou do

DonDon’’t take overt take over

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Working with the Working with the SocializerSocializer

Allow an S the flexibility to be creativeAllow an S the flexibility to be creativeReward an SReward an S’’s efforts with your enthusiasms efforts with your enthusiasmChannel their energy in appropriate Channel their energy in appropriate directionsdirectionsMake sure Ss get lots of creditMake sure Ss get lots of credit

07/16/200707/16/2007 4242

Working with the Working with the EstablisherEstablisher

Give Es the reins whenever possibleGive Es the reins whenever possibleTake advantage of their need to clear up Take advantage of their need to clear up messesmessesShow respect for their traditional values and Show respect for their traditional values and ways of thinkingways of thinkingDonDon’’t be passivet be passive

07/16/200707/16/2007 4343

Working with the LoverWorking with the Lover

Use the peacemaking skills of an L to your Use the peacemaking skills of an L to your advantageadvantageTreat them fairly, supportively and openlyTreat them fairly, supportively and openlyAllow them opportunities to interact with Allow them opportunities to interact with othersothersAvoid harsh criticismAvoid harsh criticism

07/16/200707/16/2007 4444

Successful Working Strategies with the Successful Working Strategies with the FactualizerFactualizer

The The FFactualizeractualizerListen carefullyListen carefullyRecognize that they are practicalRecognize that they are practicalDonDon’’t pressure their careful, exacting naturet pressure their careful, exacting nature

07/16/200707/16/2007 4545

Using the Profile in Conflict ResolutionUsing the Profile in Conflict Resolution

Ask yourself how are you contributing to Ask yourself how are you contributing to the situationthe situationThree Ways to Resolve ConflictThree Ways to Resolve Conflict

Mirror the other personMirror the other person’’s behaviors behaviorBe a modelBe a modelBe clearBe clear

07/16/200707/16/2007 4646

Conflict Resolution Conflict Resolution RoleplayRoleplay

Conflict is normally caused by a lack of Conflict is normally caused by a lack of communication. Conflict is seldom the result of two communication. Conflict is seldom the result of two people who just want to be difficult. people who just want to be difficult.

You have been given a conflict to resolve. Your You have been given a conflict to resolve. Your group will read the narrative and have two people act group will read the narrative and have two people act out the roleout the role--play as it is written. Analyze how the play as it is written. Analyze how the SELF Communication styles can resolve these SELF Communication styles can resolve these conflicts. Rewrite the resolution to the conflict. conflicts. Rewrite the resolution to the conflict.

07/16/200707/16/2007 4747

SummarySummary

Explain the purpose and benefits of the SELF Explain the purpose and benefits of the SELF profileprofileComplete a SELF profile and interpret the Complete a SELF profile and interpret the resultsresultsEvaluate how the profile results apply to real Evaluate how the profile results apply to real life situationslife situationsIdentify common characteristics of the four Identify common characteristics of the four profilesprofilesUse the SELF profile in conflict resolutionUse the SELF profile in conflict resolution

Conquering Communication Styles

SW Page 1 1/29/2010

Overview The SELF is a questionnaire that helps you learn about your personal characteristics. It consists of 30 questions describing how an individual might act in given situations. Based on an individual’s answers, the respondent is then placed in one of four quadrants which indicate personality styles. By carefully studying this information, you can use it to recognize both your and others’ personality styles to interact more effectively in relationships.

Audience All Staff

Length 2 hours

Objectives After this class participants will be able to: • Complete SELF profiles and interpret results • Explain the purpose and benefits of the SELF profile • Identify common characteristics of the four profiles • Use the SELF profile in conflict resolution


SW Page 2 1/29/2010

Completing the SELF Profile

1. Using the scoring chart below, convert your Directive and Affiliative totals from the previous page. Then record your converted directive and affiliative score (one through six) in the space provided just below the scoring chart.

If you scored from: Give yourself a: 15-21 1 22-33 2 34-44 3 45-56 4 57-68 5 69-75 6 Converted Directive Score______ Converted Affiliative Score______

2. On the graph below put a dot on the vertical (dotted) line next to the number that is the same as your Converted Directive Score. 3. Put a dot on the horizontal (broken) line next to the number that is the same as your Converted Affiliative Score. 4. Connect the two dots with a straight line. Now shade in the area of the triangle you've created.

6 5 4

6 5 4 3 2 1 3 2 1

Dire

ctiv

e

Affiliative

Need people less

High need to direct

Need people more

S E

L F Low need to direct


SW Page 3 07/17/2007

The Four Communication Styles

1. _____________________________________

• Scores high on _______________ & _______________ scales

• Natural ______________

• People want to _________

• Not a ____________ - _______________ person

• _________________ whenever possible

• Likely to find at _______________________________

• At parties they usually attract the most ________________________

2. _____________________________________

• Scores low on_________________________________________

• Scores high on_________________________________________

• Has good ideas, but tends to be___________________________

• Has lots of ____________ and are dependable

• Not a real _______________ - _______________

• ______________ - ____________ oriented 3. _____________________________________

• Scores high on________________________________________ • Scores low on_________________________________________

• A _______________ player

• Seen as the __________________________________________

• Sometimes becomes _________ and allows others to

_________________________________________________________


SW Page 4 07/17/2007

The Four Communication Styles

4. _____________________________________

• Scored low on____________________&________________________

• _________________________________________________________

• Has ________ standards for__________________________________

• _________________________________________________________

• Comfortable with___________________________________________

• Biggest fear is_____________________________________________


SW Page 5 07/17/2007

Identifying the Four Communication Styles EXERCISE 1

To help you identify the different communication styles in your office, you have been given four different descriptions of communication styles. Identify which style applies to those descriptions.

o Tanika is an _______ personality o Jose is an ______ personality

o Larry is an______ personality

o Maria is an______ personality


SW Page 6 07/17/2007

Conflict Resolution

Conflict is normally caused by a lack of communication. Conflict is seldom the result of two people who just want to be difficult.

• Ask yourself how are you contributing to the situation? • Three Ways to Resolve Conflict

1. _____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

3. _____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________


SW Page 7 07/17/2007

EXERCISE 2

You have been given a conflict to resolve. Your group will read the narrative and have two people act out the role-play as it is written. Analyze how the SELF Communication styles can resolve these conflicts. Rewrite the resolution to the conflict.

Teller Therapy ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Growing Pains ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________


SW Page 8 07/17/2007

EXERCISE 2

Christmas Party Chaos ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

SW Page 1 07/17/2007

Exercise 1: Identifying the Different Communication Styles in the Office

Tanika is the teller manager at Community Credit Union. She maintains an open-door policy and encourages her staff to come in and talk whenever they need to. In fact, she often spends a good deal of her day talking with her staff and the members. Paperwork is always the last thing she does, and she often must take it home to complete it. Tanika considers her staff a team. They have daily meetings to discuss member satisfaction. Every year at Christmas she invites her entire staff to her home for a holiday party. Although Tanika's office is small, it is warm and inviting. She has a coffee pot with extra mugs and a jar of candy on her desk. A big rubber tree plant sits in the corner, and next to it on the credenza is a picture of her husband and children Tanika’s infectious laugh makes everyone marvel at how she can be so "up" all the time. In reality, however, she is frustrated with the administration at the credit union. Sometimes she thinks maybe it's time to move on, but she likes the people she works with and feels that her staff and the members need her. Tanika is an_____ personality.

SW Page 2 07/17/2007


Jose is a member services representative for Community Credit Union. He has a good working relationship with the members and the people outside the office with whom he must work. He is confident of his skills and has developed personal friendships with many members. Members trust Jose. He seldom has a member turn down proposal he makes for financial decision. Occasionally, he is too direct and has, on a couple of occasions, made members angry. For example, Jose is quick to make decisions. One member asked him, "But wouldn't it be better if we did it this way?" Jose's answer was immediate and sharp. "No way," he said "that would never work." The member asked to be assigned to another representative. Jose has lots of friends and enjoys going out. He is at his best in a social situation, and he often finds new members on the golf course, at service club meetings or even at a ball game. Even though most people think Jose has it all, deep down inside he worries about losing his social image. He works hard to keep his job because he believes a lot of his self-worth is tied to his position. Jose is an_____ personality.

SW Page 3 07/17/2007


Larry is a researcher for Community Credit Union. His office is in the library and his job is to research whatever issues he is assigned. He spends the entire day either behind his computer or poring over the manuals in his office or the library. Larry works on one project at a time. He refuses to be rushed. He never turns in an assignment until he is absolutely sure the information is 100 percent correct. When his co-workers ask Larry to go to lunch with them, he always turns them down. He pretends to eat a sandwich in his office alone while reading the latest journal. Everyone in the office knows that if they have a question about anything, Larry is the one to go to. But Larry often gets annoyed when they walk into his office and ask him a question when he is in the middle of another research project. Lately, Larry's boss has been telling him that he is taking too long to get projects finished. Larry is annoyed with his boss's attitude--he can't believe he wants him to rush through things that Larry feels are important. Larry's wife is also becoming annoyed. Larry is putting in more and more time at the office, and when he is home, he has his nose buried in work that he brought home from the office. Larry is an_____ personality.

SW Page 4 07/17/2007


Maria is the member services manager of the member services department of a Community Credit Union. She sets goals for her department on a regular basis. She has never missed a day's work since she started working for the company five years ago. Behind her back, Maria's staff laughs about her "uniform." Maria wears a dark blue or black suit to the office daily. Many of her staff doesn’t really care to work for her because they consider her to be overly critical. If one of her staff suggests doing something a different way, she immediately snaps and says, "No." Maria takes her monthly quotas seriously. She develops action plans to ensure that they are reached. If her staff doesn't achieve their quotas, she pushes them even harder the next month. Maria wants to become member services manager for the division. She has made it clear to her staff that it is her goal and that no one will get in her way. She tells her staff, "If you can't carry your load, leave now." Maria's department has a great deal of turnover. Because Maria's department always reaches its goals, her boss can't figure out the problem. Maria is an_____ personality.

7/17/07 SW

Exercise 2: Conflict Resolution Role-Play

Teller Therapy Let’s look at Deborah and David, who both work at Community Credit Union. David is the teller manager. He is an E personality. Deborah, an L, is a teller and is responsible for many significant transactions throughout the day. Deborah and David are constantly arguing. David says Deborah is disorganized. She never seems to complete everything in the time she has. Deborah, on the other hand, says David is too formal and that he really doesn’t care about the members, only about his next promotion. Here is a typical conversation between Deborah and David. David: “Deborah, have you explained to Mrs. Byers how to cashier’s check works

and that she must have all information when coming to receive one?” Deborah: “Not yet. I just told her not to worry about it and I was here if she needed

assistance.” David: “You’ve gone through that with her numerous times. She should know the

procedures by now. Why didn’t you tell her?” Deborah: “When I was processing her transaction she seemed flustered and upset. I

asked her if she had a bad day and began to comfort her.” David: “That’s not your job. If she is having problems, tell her to call a therapist.

Just do your job.”

7/17/07 SW


Growing Pains Let’s look at co-workers Anita and Alex. Alex, an F, has been at the credit union for 20 years. She spends most of her day conversing with the older members. She is detail-oriented. The older members always consult her when making personal financial decisions. Anita, a new hire, is an S personality. She is young and energetic. She sometimes makes the older members uncomfortable with her overbearing personality. One of the older members approaches Alex to discuss their discomfort with Anita. Alex angrily tells Anita that she needs to grow up and should start respecting members and tone down her personality. Anita can’t believe Alex reacted that way. Alex: “Anita, Mrs. Brown has discussed that she was uncomfortable with your

behavior when you were helping her with her account. It would be appreciated if you could tone it down and respect our members.”

Anita: “This is unbelievable. You’re asking me to change my personality because

an old woman was upset just because I was being friendly and energetic.” Alex: “Just do it. You must respect the members.” Anita: “The only reason you’re acknowledging this silly incident is because she’s

old and has been with you since you’ve been working here.” Alex: “It is your job to treat customers with respect and a personality that will

not make them uncomfortable. Do your job.” Anita: “Well excuse me for not being old. Next time I won’t even smile.”

7/17/07 SW


Christmas Party Chaos Let’s examine the case of Eric and Carlos. They have been assigned by their boss to plan the credit union’s Christmas party. Carlos is an L. Being team-oriented, Carlos feels they should ask the others in the office what they would like to do. He suggests polling the other employees to see if they would rather have a catered luncheon in the office or a less extravagant buffet dinner in the evening with spouses. Eric is an E. He is not married, so he thinks the idea of a dinner with spouses isn’t necessary. When the two sit down to talk, here’s what happens: Carlos: “Let’s go ask the others what they would like.” Eric: “Nah. That would be a waste of time. Let’s just have a lunch here; it would be a

lot easier. Here is a list of caterers. Call them and get prices. We’ll want to have turkey, ham, a cranberry salad, mashed potatoes and rolls.”

Carlos: “I don’t agree. I don’t think its right for us to plan this without asking the others

what they think.” Eric: “Oh, you’re just sore because you want to bring your wife.” Carlos: “I don’t want to argue. We’ll do it your way.”

7/17/07 SW


No Lounging in the Lounge At the Community Credit Union, the employees have the luxury of having a large fancy lounge area for lunch and break times. Many of the employees make use of this luxury, but Tony takes advantage of it by spending most of the day in the lounge and not at his desk working. Jacob, the lounge manager of the week, is an F. He has a tough time being in control and didn’t want the responsibility in the first place. He’d rather sit in his office and research for his current assignment. Tony is an S. He spends most of the workday in the lounge, speaking to whoever walks through the door. Jacob is confused about what to do because he knows that Tony is taking advantage of lounge privileges. He confronts Tony, but gets nowhere. Jacob: “Hey, Tony. You must have a lot of work to get done.” Tony: “Nah. That’s why I’m in the lounge...to lounge around. I needed some kind of

entertainment. There’s nothing like water cooler entertainment.” Jacob: “I think you should get back to work, someone might walk in and see you

messing around.” Tony: “Who? The weekly lounge manager? Now I’m definitely scared.” Jacob: “Yeah I know. Hey, I think I left something important in my office. I’m going

to head over there and see you around.” (Jacob walks away, upset that he had been assigned the position in the first place. )

Persuasive Risk-Taker Pushy IntimidatingCompetitive Pursues Change Overbearing RestlessConfident Inspiring Impatient ManipulativeOpen Outgoing Abrasive Reactive

Attention Achievement Lack of Enthusiasm WaitingRecognition Adventure Indecision ConventionExcitement Spontaneity

Practical Orderly Dogmatic StubbornVery Direct Organized Unapproachable RigidTraditional Goal-Oriented Distant CriticalDependable Ambitious Insensitive

Control Responsibility Ambiguity IrreverenceMastery Loyalty Showing Emotions LazinessFast Pace

Caring Team-Oriented Too Other Oriented IndecisiveDevoted Enthusiastic Impractical VulnerableTrusting Sensitive Hesitant SubjectiveLikes Variety Gregarious Insensitive

Popularity Closeness Insensitivity DissensionAffirmation Kindness Insincerity EgotismCaring

Exacting Thorough Perfectionistic WithdrawnFactual Reserved Dull SullenMeticulous Practical Shy PassiveCalm High Standards

Perfection Autonomy Ambiguity IrreverenceConsistency Information Showing Emotions Laziness

The EstablisherStrengths Weaknesses

Turn Ons

Turn Ons

The Lover

Strengths Weaknesses

Strengths Weaknesses

Turn Offs

Communication Styles At-A-Glance

Turn Ons Turn Offs

Turn Offs

The SocializerStrengths Weaknesses

Turn Ons Turn Offs

The Factualizer

SW 1/29/2010

Memo-TrainersListserv-Conquering Communication Styleslegacy.cuna.org/training/trainers/download/2666-099_Conquering_Co… · 1=Not at all like me 2=Somewhat like me 3=Occasionally

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