Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work Relationships Prepared For Montana State University January 2012 Suzanne McCorkle, Ph.D.
Managing Conflict & Strengthening Work Relationships
Prepared ForMontana State University
January 2012
Suzanne McCorkle, Ph.D.
What happens when conflicts
are not managed well? To the work group
?
?
?
To the individual
?
?
?
Causes of Conflict
Emotions
StyleInformation
Relationships
Substance
Values
Information Conflicts
• About data
• Misinformation
• Having different information
• Which data to use
• Not having enough information
• Withholding information
Emotion conflicts • About feelings, ego, self-esteem,
feelings of entitlement
• Arise when other conflicts get too ripe
• Lead to exceptionally narrow thinking
• Emotions short-circuit the ability to reason and to listen
Value
conflicts
• About deeply rooted beliefs and feelings
• Religion, politics, work ethics
• In some ways, easiest to manage in work context
• About who we are to each other• Boss/subordinate, working relationships• Who has what authority?• Are we friends?• Can co-workers, students/professors have
deep relationships?• Do we have the same goals about our
relationship?
Relationship conflicts
Substance conflicts
• About real or perceived scarce resources
• Money, time, space, equipment ….
• Amenable to regular problem solving once the issue is isolated
• About how to do things, how to communicate, which way to act is best
• Common with strong personalities• Frequent cause of annoyances• Causes conflict when style difference is seen
as obstruction Style
conflicts
Quick Chat
What about other people’s communication really irritates you?
When styles clash, conflict often results.
Common Style Differences• Meeting management style
• Single-taskers vs. multi-taskers
• Verbal conversational style
Dialect
Rapport vs. Report
Pause Gap
• Personality style
• Conflict style
Escalators/Fractionators
General Conflict Style
• Cultural style
Collaborators
Competitors
Avoiders
What’s Your Conflict Style?
What are the Problems with Relying on One Style?
?
?
?
?
What is the First Response to Types of Conflict?
• Information• Emotion• Substantive• Values• Relationship• Style
Check Perception Differences
Perceptionis not
objective
What do you see?
In Stress or Conflict…..• People revert to their basic style.
• Make Self-Serving evaluations.
“I am thoughtful; you take all day
and can’t make a decision.”
Recognizing Perception Differences is a Skill
Perception Differences Cause Misunderstandings: Make Negotiation Harder
Moral =
Quick Quiz: What’s Your Decision-Making Preference?
Long Term Short Term
Fact Gut
By the Book Just Do It
Slow Fast
What’s Your Work Preference? Social Task-Oriented
Agenda Free-form
Agreeable Argumentative
Critical Creative
Mark Your Style of Expression
Loud Soft-spoken
Passionate Controlled
Confront Indirect
Say What You Think Concern for
Other’s Feelings
Go back and mark the style of your boss (or a co-worker).
Are there style differences?
If unrecognized, do these differences make negotiation harder?
Quick Chat1. Do you have a significant style difference
with a boss or co-worker?2. What can you do (mentally or in discussion
with the other) to prevent the style difference from hindering work happiness, productivity, or making negotiations more difficult?
Smart Negotiation #2: Always Work From Interests
26
Positions and demands are on the Surface
Interests or needs lurk under the waterline
Working at the “position” level is inefficient and may
harm relationships.
Conflict itself is normal.It is what we choose to do during conflict that leads to beneficial or
harmful results.
Apply McCorle’s Three Laws of Humane Responses to People Problems
The First Law: Save Yourself
The Second Law
Give the Other Person Every Chance
Photo by MichaelMarcol
The Third Law
Care About the Future More than The Past
For Further General Reading
Personal Conflict Management: Theory and Practice (textbook)
Edition: 1stAuthors: McCorkle, Suzanne; Reese, Melanie J.ISBN10: 0205499880ISBN13: 9780205499885Format: PaperbackPub. Date: 1/1/2010Publisher: Allyn & Bacon
Available at your personal favorite on-line book purchasing site.