Manage Frustration

Manage Frustrationand Enjoy More Happy Chemicals

Loretta Graziano Breuning, PhDInner Mammal Institute

Brian is frustrated

He sees obstacles on the path to his goals

Brian thinks Ryan and Jain

are the obstacles

Brian can relieve his frustration by understanding his mammal brain

Our neurochemicalups and downsare controlled bybrain structures inherited from earlieranimals

Your mammal brain rewards you with a good-feeling chemical when you see a way to meet a survival need

It alarms you with a bad feeling when you see a survival threat

But it defines survival in a quirky way

It cares about the survival of your genes, and it relies on neural pathways you built in youth

You can end up feeling that your survival is threatened

A LOT

Brian can enjoymore happy chemicals Dopamine Serotonin Oxytocin Endorphin

and relieve the bad feeling ofcortisol

if he makes peace with his

inner mammal

Brian’s frustration #1The brain releases the great feeling of dopamine when you approach a reward

but your dopamine soon returns to neutral and you have to do more to get more

Brian’s frustration #2The mammal brain cares about your status as if your life depended on it.

It rewards you with serotonin each timeyou boost your status, but it alarms you with cortisol when you see a status threat.

Brian’s frustration #3The brain releases the nice calm feeling of oxytocin when you enjoy the safety of social support.

But your oxytocin droops with each step away from the herd, and that feels like a survival threat.

Brian’s frustration #4The brain releases the bad feeling of cortisol when you see an obstacle to meeting your needs.

A disappointment of expectations = cortisol = threat.

dopamine oxytocin endorphinserotonin

Happy chemicalsare not designed to flow all the time

They evolved to reward youwith a good feeling when you meet a need(physical or social)

Cortisol creates an

urgent sense of

survival threat

even when you don’t

consciously

think that.

Frustration is natural

• Rewards are unpredictable so our quest for happy chemicals is often disappointed.

• Disappointment triggers cortisol, which alerts your brain to recalibrate with new information.

• Frustration is your inner mammal’s way toredirect energy to best meet survival needs.

The neurochemical roller coaster does not mean something is wrong with your or your world

It means your brain isdoing the job it evolved for

It helps to know that monkeys had the same frustrations 50 million years ago

How can Brian rewire himself to feel good with a brain so

inclined to frustration?

1. Self- acceptance

2. Focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want

3. Build a frustration plan

1. Self- acceptanceHappy chemicals evolved to promote survival,

not to make you happy all the time

The brain evolved to make tough choices

• When you step towardgreener pasture (dopamine),you move away from the safety of social bonds (oxytocin).

• When you step toward social importance (serotonin)you may get disappointment (cortisol)or a strain on social bonds (oxytocin).

• Expecting these recalibration is more realistic than expecting a steady surge of happy chemicals.

You are doing it

You areusing

your brainfor the tough job

it was designed for.

If Brian accepts his inner mammal,he remembers that he’s safe,even while feeling threatened

Survival rates are low in the state of nature, yet your ancestors did what it took to keep their genes alive.

Celebrate yourinner survivor.

2. Focus on what you want

instead of what you don’t want

It’s natural to focus onwhat you don’t want because past cortisol builds huge neural circuits

The electricity in your brainflows like water in a storm,

finding the paths of least resistance

You were born withbillions of neurons and

very few connections between them

You built connectionsfrom experience

Each time something felt good or bad, your brain made a connection

Good and bad feelings are brain chemicalsthat pave neural pathways.

We all get wired to

feel good in ways that felt good

before

Andfeel badin ways that felt bad before

Anything that hurt you in the pastbuilt a big pathway that turns on your

cortisol when you see something similar

Your electricity will keep flowing down your old paths unless you build new ones

You can build a new path by repeating a new behavior for 45 days

You can see a world of opportunity instead of a world

of threat

Your electricity will flow toward what you want instead of

what you don’t want

3. Plan for frustrationa. realistic expectationsb. varietyc. focus

a. realistic expectations

I can survivewithout that expected reward; it just feels urgent because my brain evolved to work that way.

b. variety

Wire in many different happy chemical stimulators so no one is used to excess.

c. focus

You can train yourinner mammal tofocus on the rewardsyou have instead ofthe rewards you lack

Now Brian knows that Ryan and Jain

are not his problem

He enjoys his power to buildnew neural pathways based on

realistic expectations

When his expectations are disappointed,his inner mammal feels threatened

but he knows that’s not necessarily a threat

He helps hisinner mammal feel good

Dopamine Serotonin Oxytocin Endorphin

free resources from the Inner Mammal Institute

learn more aboutyour happy chemicals

podcastsvideosinfographicstraining certificationslide shows (incl this)5-day Happy-Chemical Jumpstart

www.InnerMammalInstitute.org

Habits of a Happy BrainRetrain your brain to boost your serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin and endorphin

Beyond CynicalTranscend Your Mammalian Negativity

I, MammalWhy Your Brain Links Status and Happiness

Books by L. Breuning, PhD

[email protected] me

one more thing

Don’t compare yourself to others

Don’t compare yourself to others

Don’t compare yourself to others

Don’t compare yourself to others

Don’t compare yourself to others

Don’t compare yourself to others

Don’t compare yourself to others