Love Sex And Commitment 1

Resources for Series

• Drs. Les & Drs. Les & Leslie Parrot Leslie ParrotBook and onBook and online assessment of your line assessment of your Love Style is a great tool.Love Style is a great tool.Their book is used for Their book is used for much of these lessons.much of these lessons.

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• Hayley andHayley andMichael Michael DiMarco’s DiMarco’s book is a great resource too. Whether book is a great resource too. Whether you’re single and wondering where you’re single and wondering where your “one” could be hiding; head your “one” could be hiding; head over heels in a new relationship and over heels in a new relationship and vowing that vowing that thisthis time it’ll work; or time it’ll work; or finding that married life isn’t the finding that married life isn’t the thrilling adventure you’d once thrilling adventure you’d once anticipated this book is a great tool.anticipated this book is a great tool.

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• "In this groundbreaking "In this groundbreaking book, Mike and Harriet book, Mike and Harriet McManus dispel the myth that McManus dispel the myth that living together before marriage living together before marriage leads to "happily ever after" leads to "happily ever after" and give the secrets for making and give the secrets for making marriages succeed. marriages succeed.

Resources for Series

• In this practical guidebook filled In this practical guidebook filled with straight talk, psychologist with straight talk, psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Les and best-selling author Dr. Les Parrott shares six secrets that can Parrott shares six secrets that can enhance a couple’s sexual enhance a couple’s sexual intimacy. Parrott offers crucial intimacy. Parrott offers crucial facts and practical insights to help facts and practical insights to help men and their wives experience men and their wives experience the best sex they’ve ever had.the best sex they’ve ever had.

Background Text for Series

1 Peter 3:71 Peter 3:7““Husbands in the Husbands in the same way, live with same way, live with your wives with your wives with understanding.”understanding.”

Background Text for Series

Song of Solomon 2:7Song of Solomon 2:777 Young women of Young women of Jerusalem, I charge Jerusalem, I charge you, by the gazelles you, by the gazelles and the wild does of and the wild does of the field: do not stir the field: do not stir up or awaken love up or awaken love until the appropriate until the appropriate time.time.

• Humans have about 99.9% of our DNA in Common.

• Only 0.1% of our DNA is Different than other humans……

• The 0.1% difference in your genome and anyone else’s accounts for more than 300 million differences between you and anyone else….

• Sources of genetic information make your personality exceptional.

• This means that you are 300 million ways different than your SPOUSE!

W. Clemant StoneW. Clemant Stone• “ There is little

difference in people, but that little difference

makes a big difference.”

George Bernard George Bernard ShawShaw

• “ Marriage is an alliance entered

into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a women who can’t

sleep with the window open.”

• “For two people in a marriage to live together day after

day is unquestionably the

one miracle the Vatican has

overlooked.”

““Husbands in the same Husbands in the same way, live with your way, live with your

wives with wives with understanding.”understanding.”

“ “ I know that you believe I know that you believe you understand what you you understand what you think I said, but I’m not think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what sure you realize that what you heard is not what I you heard is not what I meant.”meant.”

“Every marriage, regardless of its stage, has specific domains that can become sticking points between a husband and wife.”

“Every marriage, regardless of its stage, has specific domains that can become sticking points between a husband and wife.”

• Goal OrientedYour activity almost always has a purpose because you are result-oriented by nature. You like to close the loop. Check it off you list. Get things done.

• FocusedSome people can’t seem to cut through the clutter. You can. You set your sights on something and beeline straight to it, regardless of distractions.

• Self-ConfidentYou are hardwired for confidence. When you’re at your best, your self-confidence inspires and encourages others, including your spouse.

• VisionaryYou have a picture of your future. You can see it, even when you spouse doesn’t quite it with you. You are not just dreaming, but you are backing it up with hard work.

• HardworkingYou are always ready to roll up you sleeves and work. Your mental engine is always running. Even when you are not working on a project, you are working on a project.

Peter Drucker once said, “Plans are only good intentions, unless they immediately degenerate into hard work.” You understand this very well!

• StubbornEvery marriage needs a little give and take. Unfortunately, that doesn’t come easily for you. You have a strong will and can become obstinate.

“The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one often comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won’t.” Henry Ward Beecher

• Stubborn…– Sometimes you choose to dig in your

heels and cling to you position no matter the cost. This leaves little room for negotiating, which leaves you spouse in the cold. Thankfully, this occurs only occasionally for you, but it happens more with you than it does with other styles.

• Insensitive– You have an inclination to put down

anyone who doesn’t move fast enough or think like you do. When pointing out faults doesn’t work, you may resort to snide comments or direct insults. At your worst, you tend to be tactless, rude, and insensitive…Are you Crying yet.. OUCH!

• Easily Annoyed– You have a low threshold for annoyance.

What others shrug off, you take to heart. You’re easily aggravated. It’s a weakness fueled by impatience. This makes your spouse feel inadequate.

• Hot Tempered–One of the scariest parts of you personality

is found when your irritation becomes full-blown anger. Just the possible unleashing of you rage has probably become enough for you spouse to back off in those moments when it begins to flare. Your anger can become a tool of control.

• Domineering– It has been said that love does not

dominate, it cultivates. Meaning, that a loving approach is to create an environment in which others can become themselves and flourish. You may agree with this sentiment, but you have a tough time living it out!

• Your Approach To Communication–Direct and to the point. You are not

designed for conversations that have endless rabbit trail. Your goal in conversation is to gather the essential information you need to convey information that you believe your spouse needs to know! That’s it! Enough said!

• Your Approach To Communication– Your communication can have a sharp

point to it, whether you mean it or not. You can also be an impatient listener. In other words, you probably figure out what your spouse is trying to say long before you spouse has finished, and you are ready to fix his or her perception as soon as given a chance.

• Your Approach To Conflict–When your spouse disagrees with you, it

only fortifies your determination to win. As a person that doesn’t struggle with self-confidence, humility is one of your biggest hurdles. Add to your predilection toward anger, you are bound to have some intense marital conflicts

• Your Approach To Sex and Intimacy –Because of your no-nonsense style, you are

likely to be upfront with your sexual needs. You are likely to initiate sex whenever you desire. You are necessarily inclined to draw it out, either. The proverbial “quickie” was designed with you in mind (especially if you are a man).

• Your Approach To Sex and Intimacy –Of all the love styles, yours is the one that

is most likely to use sex as tension relief. You sometimes view sex as something you need to do to get you life back in balance. On occasion, “intimate moments” are more about relieving stress than building connection.

• Your Approach To Finances– You love a challenge—especially a financial

challenge. It may cause you anxiety, but you are willing to deal with it. You tend to see yourself as the banker in the relationship, determining how much your spouse should spend.

• Your Approach To Free Time– This is tough for you, because you don’t

have free time. You don’t have a minute to spare. You are so busy being productive that you often find it excruciatingly difficult to simply do nothing! As a result you fall into two patterns:

• Your Approach To Free Time1. You over structure, planning out each

minute. Even what appears to be “relaxation” for you is likely to serve a productive purpose.

2. You Tend to crash rather than rest. Retreating like a grumpy grizzly bear to you cave where you don’t want to be bothered! OTCH!

• Devise Some Marital Reminders1. You need some

mechanisms built into your life to remind you that you are married.

• Cultivate Patience

– Patience is a loving response to frustration. 1. Corinthians 13:4 “Love suffers long and is kind.” Patience is measured by our ability to endure something we’d rather not!

• Slow Down

– It’s in you DNA to move faster than most. You do everything with expediency and efficiency. The only time you slow down is when you decide to.

• Put A Lid On Your Anger– It is essential that you get a grip on your

anger. Anger is a momentary madness,” said the Roman poet.

1. Know that you are not responsible for being angry, only for how you respond to it.

2. Curb anger by knowing your trigger (s)3. Don’t make your spouse your

scapegoat.

• Lean Into Grace– Truth without grace is judgment. Grace

comes from the Greek word “charis.” It means gift. It’s not earned. It’s not deserved. That’s way grace is so valuable in marriage. It is the most valuable gift you can give your spouse!