M S Sridhar July 3, 2010 Mahatma Vidyalaya School Muthanalluru Listening Skills
May 06, 2015
M S SridharJuly 3, 2010
Mahatma Vidyalaya SchoolMuthanalluru
Listening Skills
Time is life. It is irreversible and irreplaceable
In a 168 hour week you spendover 30% in sleeping
If you don’t sleep adequately…
Another 25% is spent in classeshearing teachers
M S sridhar 2Listening skills
Listening and hearing are not the same
Listening is conscious, active process with the
mind
Hearing is with the senses
So Listening = Hearing
+ Focusing on the message
+ Comprehending and interpreting
+ Analyzing and Evaluating to
Understand
Judge
Respond
Remember
Hearing vs. Listening
M S sridhar 3Listening skills
Some Facts
7 out of every 10 minutes we are communicating
45% of time is spent on listening
30% of time on talking
16% spent on reading and
9% spent on writing
M S sridhar Listening skills 4
Some Quotes• Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of
listening when you'd have preferred to
talk ~Doug Larson
• Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
courage is also what it takes to sit down and
listen ~Winston Churchill
• The most important thing in communication is to
hear what isn't being said ~Peter F. Drucker
• Don't worry that children never listen to you;
worry that they are always watching you ~Robert
Fulghum
• A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat
- Katharine Whitehorn
M S sridhar Listening skills 5
Fallacies about Listening
• Listening is not my problem!
• Listening and hearing are the same
• Good readers are good listeners
• Smarter people are better listeners
• Listening improves with age
M S Sridhar Listening skills 6
Learning• A meaningful change in the behaviour
• We acquire knowledge about the world
• Has to be selective to focus and excel
• Closely linked to memory
• Learning and memory through behavioural change establish a person’s personality
M S sridhar Listening skills 7
We listen to learn and listening skills
are part of overall learning skills
Learning Skills
• Brain, the most complex organ on the earth, does not come with operating instructions
• Our educational system teaches us how to be taught rather than how to learn
• We are passive rather than self-directing learners
• To learn and move forward, we need both intrinsic and extrinsic motivation backed by energy, enthusiasm and persistence
M S sridhar Listening skills 8
We were given two
ears but only one
mouth, as God
knew that listening
was twice as hard
as talking
Listening skills are
most difficult to
learn
M S sridhar 9Listening skills
The opposite of talking is
not listening. The opposite
of talking is waiting
- Fran Lebowitz
Six Sins in Interactions
1. Negative remark
2. Accusing
3. Assumptions
4. Directive or Advice
5. Clichés
6. Judging values
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Unless you shut your only mouth, you can‟t
even hear, forget about listening
Don’t interrupt, let the speaker finish before
you begin to talk
A good listener is a good talker with a sore
throat - Katharine Whitehorn
M S sridhar 11Listening skills
Talking when we should be listening is
wrong
You hardly listen if you are …
Day dreaming
Not paying attention,
preoccupied
Tuning out with
thoughts somewhere else
M S sridhar 12Listening skills
It is hard to listen with a big stinking ego
M S sridhar 13Listening skills
“I know what will be said” attitude
Busy thinking about what you want to say next
Hearing only what you expect to hear and not what is
actually said
Not listening from the perspective of the speaker due
to prejudice, self-centeredness or stereo-type
Meaning is in the receiver’s mind
Meaning cannot be transmitted like a tangible substance by the speaker
It must also be stimulated or aroused in the receiver
The receiver must be an active participant for the transmission to be completed
M S sridhar Listening skills 14
Physical/ Environmental barriers:Distracted by sights or activity
Combat external distractions:
• Avoid place, people & situation
• Dress normal, more appropriately to the room
temperature
• When you find yourself drifting away during a
listening session, change your body position and
concentrate (use listening skills/ strategies)
• If you are really listening intently, you should feel
tired after your speaker has finishedM S sridhar Listening skills 15
Psychological/ Personal barriersConcentrating on something else
Selective listening: We tend to hear what we
want to hear and not what is actually being
said
Negative listening attitude
Personal reactions
Poor motivation
Combat internal distractions …M S sridhar Listening skills 16
Psychological/ Personal barriersCombat internal distractions:
• Eliminate the source
• Try to remain objective and open-minded
• Treat listening as a challenging mental task
• Maintain eye contact with the instructor
• Focus on content, not delivery
• Avoid excessive emotional involvement
• Stay active by asking mental questions: What is
the key point? How does this fit with what we
know from previous lectures? How is this lecture
organized?
• Anticipate what is going to be said as a way to
keep your mind from strayingM S sridhar Listening skills 17
Thinking is nearly four times faster than
speaking
Processing speed of brain = 500 wpm
Speaking speed = 150 wpm
Unused mental capacity = 350 wpm
lead to wandering of mind or tuning out called
„Route 350‟
Thus while listening you will be able to think
about what you are hearing, really understand
it, and give feedback to the speakerM S sridhar 18Listening skills
Use Route 350 (the gap between the rate
of speech and rate of thought)
Tuning Out? (Route 350)
M S sridhar Listening skills 19
May be because you
• have heard it before
• are preoccupied
• find it difficult to
understand
• have a differing opinion
Like a satellite dish antenna
your face contains most of
the receptive equipment in
your bodies
Your body position defines
whether you will have the
chance of being a good listener or a good deflector
M S sridhar 20Listening skills
Your face is the dish antenna
Good listeners are like poor
boxers: they lead with their
faces
Face the speaker directly
Have an open and receptive
posture (open arms, not
crossed, not defensive)
Lean towards speaker to
indicate involvement and
interest
Maintain direct eye contact
Give your full attention; Make
sure your mind is focused M S sridhar 21Listening skills
Lead with your face
Following Skills• Do not interrupt the speaker: Allow the speaker
time to reflect and prepare the next dialogue
• Do not divert the speaker by asking too many
questions or with) too many statements/
observations
• Do not „fill in‟ words or complete sentences (let
the speaker finish)
• Pay special attention to statements that begin
with phrases such as "My point is..." or "The
thing to remember is..."
• Ask questions & give feedback
M S sridhar Listening skills 22
Following Skills
• Encourage the speaker to tell his own story
(Remember, you listen with your face as well as
your ears!)
Use prompters like ‟yes‟, „go on‟, and „I
understand‟
Nod your head, show subtle signs of you
understand and are attentive
At appropriate points smile, frown, laugh, or
be silent
• Allow time for silence
M S sridhar Listening skills 23
Reflective Skills
• Paraphrasing
Accurately restate the speaker‟s message
Use your own language to convey factual
information only
• Reflection of Feeling: Accurately restate your
perception of the emotion of the speaker
• Focusing: Keep the flow of the conversation
goal directed and specific (what are your
options to move forward in this situation?)
• Clarifying: Attempt to understand vague,
confusing or unclear communication
M S sridhar Listening skills 24
Still Distracted ?
M S sridhar Listening skills 25
Practice Listening
skills
Sit up
Look interested
Lean forward
Listen
Act interested
Nod your head to
show that you are
tuned in
Track the speaker
with your eyes
Follow Active
Listening Strategies
1. Review
2. Question yourself
& instructor
3. Concentrate/ focus
4. Connect and listen
Listening in the class room
• Come prepared
• Be on time
• Take copious notes
• Listen for main ideas
• Ask questions - state what you understood
• Think ahead - implications of the things
M S sridhar Listening skills 26
Recapitulate & Remember !
• We spend most of our time in hearing
• Listening is conscious active process
• Practice listening skills
• Position your face which has all receptive equipment; make eye contact with speaker
• Do not talk while listening
• Take corrective steps to overcome physical barriers like place, people, dress, situation, body position, etc.
M S sridhar Listening skills 27
Recapitulate & Remember !
• Take care of ‘Route 350’ while listening
• Control your ego, excess emotion and other personal barriers; be objective and open-minded
• Keep away from six sins in interactions
• Listening skills are part of learning skills and closely linked to memory
• Ask questions & give feedback
• Act interested; Focus and prompt speakerM S sridhar Listening skills 28
Thank you
Make sure you have finished speaking
before your audience has finished listening
- Dorothy Sarnoff
Comments and questions are welcome