Life Skills Set New _ English & Kannada

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Life Skills Curriculum

Introduction to Life Skills ................................................................................................... 2

Developing Decision Making Skills ................................................................................... 10

Importance of Communication Skills ................................................................................ 16

Practicing Assertiveness Attack and Avoid .................................................................... 23

Passive, Assertive and Aggressive .................................................................................... 28

Personal Relationships ..................................................................................................... 35

Dreams as Inspirations .................................................................................................... 43

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Introduction to Life Skills This session helps kickstart the Life Skills module with a creative way to define life skills. Mentees first understand through a role play some of the risks they face as young people. They then identify the skills necessary to lead a healthy and successful life. Goals

By the end of the session Mentees will: Be able to identify key life skills

Be able to list some risks that might be faced by young people in the

community

Be able to identify the link between information and behaviour change.

Materials

Art materials

Pens

Paper

Copies of the bridge model

Schedule

Time required for activity: 90 minutes

People Mentor & Mentee pairs

Lets get active Bridge Model Roleplay (40 minutes)

Invite the mentees to either read or even perform the role play given in this handout. The situation given here could be very similar to what mentees find in their communities. Kannada version follows the

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English version.

Nita dropped out of school at 16 to get married to her boyfriend. She has been advising her friend, Meena, to stay in school and to avoid getting involved with boys and so on, till she finishes her education Despite her friends warning, Meena became involved with a boy and has eloped and got married. She comes to break the news to her friend. Nita is sitting outside her house. She is rocking her baby in her arms. As she sits alone with the baby, she talks about how tired she has been taking care of the baby. She says, Oh, my babyhow troublesome you are! Keeping me up all night! Wont you ever settle down? Nita sees Meena approaching and welcomes her warmly. Meena sits down and enquires about the health of the baby. Nita tells her that the baby has been sick and has yet to sleep through the night. The friends chat for a moment before Nita comments that it is odd to see Meena like this during a school day. Nita asks Meena why she is not in school, but Meena avoids the topic by asking Nita about Nitas husband, Raju. Nita responds by saying that she has not heard from him since the birth of their baby. She has heard that he has now gone to Bangalore for work, but he has never come to see her or the baby. Nita reminisces that she too could have gone to the Bangalore for her higher studiesher marks in exams were so high. She reminds Meena of how important it is to avoid these boys and stay in school. Now she has a baby and no proper education even, to support herself and the baby. Nita asks again why Meena is here on a school day. Meena says, Do you remember the advice that you are always giving me? Nita responds: Dont make the same mistakes I madeforget these boys until you are finished with your studies. I told you that if you do become involved with any boy, do not get married till you have finished with your studies.

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Referring back to the role play, ask leading questions to invite the participants to explore the situation. Some examples might be:

1. Is this a realistic situation? Have you seen this happen in our community?

2. Do you think Meena understood the risks of getting married with Venu?

3. If she understood what could happen and had all of the information, why did she get married anyway?

4. What were some of the things Venu said to pressure Meena?

5. Did Meena have good reasons for not listening to the advice Nita gave her?

6. What will happen to Meena now? What do you think will happen between her and Venu?

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Nita becomes suspicious and says in agitation: Ah! But come on, my friend, what are you really doing here? Are you in trouble? What is it? Meena, now in tears, confesses that she has gotten married to Venu, a boy who used to hang around outside her college a lot. Nita becomes angry. She reminds Meena of all the advice she has given her; she reminds Meena of the example of her own life. Meena says in protest, But he loves me! He has promised never to leave me ever! Nita reminds Meena that Raju had promised her the same thing. Nita asks Meena why she got married despite all her warnings. Meena says that Venu threatened to leave her if she did not get married immediately. He said it was the only way to show him that she loved him. She did not know what to do.

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Lets learn discussing risks(20 minutes) Mentors and mentees should sit together and discuss what other risks young people face in their community.

Lets get active creating bridges (20 minutes) Using the poster paper and creative materials, mentors and mentees

What are risks? Risks or risky behaviours are those actions that young people may become involved in that will prevent them from going on to live a happy, healthy and fulfilling life. Young people frequently find themselves facing a variety of risky situations including stealing, forming bad company, misuse of drugs and alcohol and placing themselves at risk from sexually transmitted diseases. These risks will vary from community to community, so it is important for young people to identify risks that are specific to their youth group

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should draw a picture of a river, with two banks on either side. On the right hand bank write Positive, healthy life

Place the risks that you have identified in the water of the river.

Once the picture has been drawn and the risks identified, mentors and mentees should think about what knowledge young people already have to help them tackle risks. Try to think beyond school knowledge and think about community and cultural beliefs and practices. Put any ideas mentors and mentees think of into the left hand bank.

Now mentors and mentees should discuss how they plan to cross the river of risks.

Currently the poster shows that mentees have identified the risks in their community and that they have the knowledge to set them on their way to a successful and happy life. But even though people know the risk and have the knowledge about these dangers, that does not mean that they do not engage in risky behaviors. Ask mentees to think about what skills we need to put our knowledge into practice? How do we need to get across the water safely? Every skill identified should be written down between the two banks of the river.

Lets Remember - Life Skills: The Tools to a Happy Life (10 minutes)

Mentors and mentees should discuss if they know what a life skill is. If mentees are unable to identify what a life skill is, mentors should explain that these are the skills that we have identified that helped them to cross the river of risks safely and the skills that we need to bring about behavioural change and achieve the goal of a positive and happy life.

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References: Peace Corps, Life Skills Manual, Publication M0063. 2001. Accessed online at http://multimedia.peacecorps.gov/multimedia/pdf/library/M0063_lifeskillscomplete.pdf

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Developing Decision Making Skills This session is an introduction to decisionmaking skills. The exercise invites mentees to create one possible framework to explore when making decisions. Mentees will step into the shoes of individuals facing different situations, and think about how they will use this framework to make decisions. Finally, they will identify situations in their own lives where they can make better decisions.

Goals

By the end of the session Mentees will: Have understood the processes involved in decision making.

Have understood the importance of good decision making skills and the consequences of actions taken.

Have practised decision making and problem solving skills.

Materials

Video clipping

Scenario Cards

Pens and rough paper

Schedule


Lets share experiences (10 minutes)

Mentors encourage mentees to share experiences of decisions that they have taken in the past, decisions that were made for them in the past, any decisions they are taking currently and any decisions they plan to make in the future

Mentees write them down on a sheet of paper for later reference

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Lets watch a video (15 minutes)

Mentors and mentees watch the video clipping at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSnPjiLEA2Y&feature=em-share_video_user

After the video , mentees

o identify the circumstances where decisions were made o deliberate on those decisions and discuss both positive

and negative consequences

Lets learn (20 minutes) Process of decision-making

Mentors introduce the topic of process of decision-making. Mentors provide a 1-line explanation for each step. Mentees then identify whether each decision making process step was followed by characters in the video. The steps are as follows:

o Take some time out. o Define the problem. Think about the situation. o Seek advice from others. o Listen to the advice given. o Consider family values and personal values. o Consider cultural practices and religious beliefs. o Consider all of the options or alternatives available. o Imagine the consequences and possible outcomes of each

option. o Consider the impact of actions on other people. o Choose the best alternatives. o Make the decision. o Act on the decision. o Accept responsibility for your actions.

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Mentors bring up the experiences shared by mentees in the first

activity and ask them to explain which of the steps they used and which they think they should have used to improve their decisions. Mentors help mentees understand that following these steps are the key to making good decisions

Lets get active case study on decision-making (20 minutes)

Mentors and mentees choose one of the scenarios presented below as a case study

Mentees think critically about what they would do in such a situation. They are encouraged to follow the steps learned. Mentees take 10 minutes to think about the situation. They must then share their decision and the process they followed.

Mentors use the flip card for the same scenario to discuss some of the positive and negative consequences for the decisions. Mentors can focus on what mentees had not thought about

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during the role-play.

1. One day Gita is walking home from school with her friends. One

of her friends tells her that she has a copy of the answers for the upcoming grade 10 class exam. She offers a copy to Gita. What should Gita do and why?

2. Veena is a 15yearold girl living in a small town. Veena is taking care of four younger siblings, and cannot find money for food. Veena has a friend near the market who has been offering her nice gifts and buying some food for her. Recently, he has suggested that Veena should meet him alone. What should Veena do and why?

3. Sarah is an 18 year old girl. She has just completed her studies at school and wants to continue on to pursue her studies at college. One day she dreams of being a secretary in a large office in town. However the other day her parents approached her with an offer of marriage from a boy in the village. Sarah doesnt want to upset her parents, but she is also scared that getting married will mean that she is unable to continue her studies. What should she do and why?

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Lets Remember (10 minutes)

1. Mentors emphasize the point that is important to accept responsibility for your actions.

Young people should learn early that each of their actions comes with a consequence; and that, after being given the opportunity to make a decision and choose, they must accept responsibility for the choices they make. This is the very essence of what it means to be an adult.

2. Mentors emphasize that very often there is no clear right or

wrong answer. It is important to be aware of the fact that each decision will have its positive and negative consequences.

3. Mentors emphaize that the key to good decision-making is to follow right decision-making process.


Mentors share any experiences of decision making that they made in the past, what process they followed, and what they learned

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Step 5

Lets pledge 20 minutes) Practicing in life

Mentors briefly explain how everyday decisions in the personal, academic or professional life can shape the path of one's life.

Mentors ask mentees to identify 3-5 decision areas for themselves across personal, academic and professional life.

Mentees write down 2-3 line statements on where they would like to take different decisions. They name one more person who can keep them accountable .

o I would like to take better decisions A. In my Personal life, in the areas of ________

like hobbies, personal habits (grooming, sleeping, eating, exercising etc), friends, personal relationships (caring, jealousy, fight, possessive etc)

B. In my Academic life, in the areas of ________

like study habits, study interests (favourite subject, participating in competitions etc), spoken English, future academic choices, homework, exams

C. In my Professional life, in the areas of ________

(to be dealt minimally as mentees will not understand) like career choices, preparation to accomplish the chosen career, building competency

Mentors must keep the mentees responses for future follow-up with them


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Importance of Communication Skills This session is useful as an introduction to the idea of good communication. Mentees will learn about good and bad listening skills and can then move onto exercises that practice the good communication skills they have discussed.

Objectives

By the end of the session Mentees will: Have known the need of public speaking.

Have realised that communication is more than just speech.

Have identified what is effective communication and why it is important to communicate effectively both as a speaker and listener.

Materials

Video clipping


Match sticks

Schedule


People Mentor and Mentee/s


Mentors encourage mentees to talk about what they know about

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communication skills

Mentees write them down on a sheet of paper for later reference


Mentors and mentees watch the video clipping at

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiQ1t3iRLu8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZnhz1pnlM8.

Discuss

o What could have been the outcome if there was an effective communication

o What emotions could be inferred from the body language

Lets get active speak listen - draw game (25 minutes)

Mentors think of two figures (each of them should be able to be drawn with max. 10 match-sticks)

Mentors then describe to the mentees the way to draw the figure without looking at how they are doing it

Mentees listen and use the match sticks to draw the figure.

Mentors can use below example as food for thought.

o Attempt 1 A. Mentor describes the first figure.

B. Mentees do what is told and are not allowed to ask questions during the activity.

o Attempt 2 A. Mentor describes the other figure

B. This time mentees get the opportunity to ask

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questions whilst they are working

Once complete, repeat the activity after reversing roles so that both partners get a chance to listen as well as to instruct.

When the game is over, sit down in your mentor-mentee groups and think about what the game meant using the following questions as prompts:

1. Consider the drawing: which way was easiest to draw the picture, the first or second time

2. How did it feel to try following directions when you couldnt ask questions about them?

3. How did it feel to give directions to people and not know whether they were understood?

4. What difference did it make to be able to talk to each other while the drawings were being made?

5. What difference did it make to have a little more time to work on the drawings?

6. What are some examples from real life of why its impossible to communicate if one person is doing all the talking and the other person cant say anything?

This exercise demonstrates

o The importance of good communication and also the two way process of communication.

o It is important to listen when communicating and whilst speakers need to be clear in what they are stating, listeners also need to be able to concentrate in order to effectively respond to what is being said.

Lets get active Jabber-Jabber game (15 minutes)

Mentors consider the emotions below:

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Mentors write these emotions onto separate pieces of paper and place them in a pile upside down. Mentors and mentees must express these emotions to one another. However, they can only use the words Jabber Jabber and must try to express these statements through their body language only.

Mentees spend ten minutes or so acting out these emotions and any others they can think of to one another. The other partners in the group should try to work out what emotion the actor is trying to enact.

After mentees have finished acting out the emotions, consider what the exercise meant. In particular:

Was it easy to understand what emotion the person was trying to get across, even though they could only use the words Jabber Jabber?

If yes, why?

What did the exercise show about communication?

After having completed these two exercises, why do you feel that communication is such an important life skill?

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This exercise helps to understand

o importance of body language in communication o emotions can be expressed through body language

Lets learn - Public Speaking (15 minutes)

Public Speaking is face-to-face speaking between individuals or a group of people. For e.g., giving a job interview, TV / chat shows, media interviews, debates in college

To be a successful person, one needs to improve his/her public speaking skills. Mentors explain the tips to give effective public speeches with proper body language. Mentors and mentees go through them thoroughly.

Tips to incorporate appropriate body language into your speeches 1. Start with eye contact - try on an individual listener for five

to ten seconds. 2. Smile! 3. Express emotion with your facial muscles. 4. Avoid distracting mannerisms like lip biting, key jingling,

and hands in pockets or behind the back. 5. Telling a story? Highlight the action verbs and look for ways

to act out one or more parts. Speaking about marathon running? Run a few steps.

6. Stay true to your personality. Dont copy gestures from a book or other speaker, but respond naturally to what you feel and say.

7. Make gestures convincing. Every hand gesture should be total body movement that starts from the shoulder never from the elbow. Half-hearted gestures look artificial.

8. Vary your speaking position by moving from one spot on the stage to another. For example, walk to the other side of the stage as you move to a new topic or move toward the audience as you ask a question.

(Source: http://www.toastmasters.org/MainMenuCategories/FreeResources/NeedHelpGivingaSpeech/TipsTechniques/GesturesGetMovin

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g.aspx)

Tips for Public Speaking

Being nervous before giving a speech is natural and even beneficial, but too much nervousness can be damaging.

1. Know your material. Pick a topic you are interested in. Know more about it than you include in your speech. Use humour, personal stories and conversational language that way you wont easily forget what to say.

2. Practice. Practice. Practice! Rehearse out loud with all equipment you plan on using. Revise as necessary. Work to control filler words; Practice, pause and breathe. Practice with a timer and allow time for the unexpected.

3. Know the audience. Greet some of the audience members as they arrive. Its easier to speak to a group of friends than to strangers.

4. Know the room. Arrive early, walk around the speaking area and practice using the microphone and any visual aids.

5. Relax. Begin by addressing the audience. It buys you time and calms your nerves. Pause, smile and count to three before saying anything. ("One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand. Pause. Begin.) Transform nervous energy into enthusiasm.

6. Visualize yourself giving your speech. Imagine yourself speaking, your voice loud, clear and confident. Visualize the audience clapping it will boost your confidence.

7. Realize that people want you to succeed. Audiences want you to be interesting, stimulating, informative and entertaining. Theyre rooting for you.

8. Dont apologize for any nervousness or problem the audience probably never noticed it.

9. Concentrate on the message not the medium. Focus your attention away from your own anxieties and concentrate on your message and your audience.

10. Gain experience. Mainly, your speech should represent you as an authority and as a person. Experience builds confidence, which is the key to effective speaking. A Toastmasters club can provide the experience you need in a safe and friendly environment.

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(Source: http://www.toastmasters.org/tips.asp)

Lets get active speech (15 minutes)

Mentees prepare and give a 3-minute speech on a chosen topic. They can take up to 10 minutes for preparation. Speech can be in a language mentees are comfortable with. Few samples for topics -

o What do I like about the place I live in? o I am a popular film star. Today on TV, I have to say few

words about my journey in the film industry.

Post speech, mentors appreciate mentees for their effort and give feedback on how it could have been improved. Criteria for feedback can be chosen from the above tips.

Lets Remember (10 minutes)

4. It is important to listen when communicating and whilst speakers need to be clear in what they are stating, listeners also need to be able to concentrate in order to effectively respond to what is being said

5. The body language is also a part of communication

6. Public speaking skill helps to communicate effectively irrespective of the size of audience

Lets pledge

Mentors give topics for subsequent speeches. Topics that require information gathering by mentees is suggested. Mentees prepare and give speech in the following meetings (minimum of 3 speeches, one speech per meeting, duration 5-minutes each).


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Practicing Assertiveness Attack and Avoid This session can be used as an introduction to the idea of assertiveness. This concept may be foreign to most mentees, so it may be necessary to spend a few sessions simply focusing on defining the terms assertive, aggressive, and passive. This session is the beginning of the creation of these definitions.

Goals

By the end of the session mentees will: Be able to identify the differences between attacking and avoiding

behaviour.

Be able to identify behaviour that indicates attacking and avoiding behaviour.

Have identified attacking and avoiding aspects of their own behaviour.

Have realized how good communication skills can help to protect us from engaging in risky behaviours.

Materials

Video clipping at


Bindi stickers (3 colours)

Chart paper

Schedule


Lets share experiences (20 minutes) Sharing experiences involves an activity called "Statues of Power". Note for Mentors: The exercise may inspire strong reactions, so you should monitor the mentees closely and be aware of this possibility. You may need to speak to mentees who display strong reactions separately.

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Statues of Power: This exercise is meant to stimulate some of the emotions associated with power and how these emotions affect us.

Mentors encourage mentees to think of a past experiences where

they felt powerless or saw someone powerless .

The mentee/s must produce a tableau (frozen image) showing one person in a position of power and the other in a powerless position. Allow the mentee/s a few minutes to prepare their first tableau (If you have only one mentee, let them show the two roles in succession). Then ask the mentee/s to change roles so that the powerful figure becomes the powerless one and vice versa and prepare a second tableau.

Mentors ask mentees to express what they are feeling about each statue/tableau (powerless and poweful) in one word. (Hint - words like proud, scared, humble, and so forth)

Mentors ask mentees which of the two positions felt more familiar to them?

Lets watch a video (15 minutes) Mentors and mentees watch the video clipping at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4iEdMMjqdA And discuss

o Who was powerful and powerless in the video? o The emotions associated with power (powerful and powerless).

How do these emotions affect us?

Lets get active Attack and Avoid game (40 minutes) This exercise shows how different reactions can be understood as attacking or avoiding behaviour.

It also helps mentees in identifying attacking and avoiding aspects of their own behaviour.

Mentors read out actions to mentees. Mentees can write it out on their individual sheets of paper.

Mentees listen to the actions read out.

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o If they think they do this action often, they should stick a green sticker in front of the word or phrase.

o If they think they do this action sometimes, they should stick orange sticker in front of the word or phrase.

o If they think they never do an action you mention, they should stick red sticker in front of the word or phrase.

NOTE: Do not mention that these actions come under two categories of behaviour. Just read the words out in a list.

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Attacking Behaviours Avoiding Behaviours

Nagging Withdrawal

Shouting Sulking in silence

Persisting (I am right!) Saying that you are being unfairly treated

Revenge (Ill get back at you) Talking behind someones back

Warning (If you dont) Feeling ill

Interrupting Being polite but feeling angry

Exploding Feeling low and depressed

Sarcastic Not wanting to hurt the other person

Insulting Trying to forget about the problem

Correcting

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Once the activity is done, mentors now point out that the behaviours here come under two categories. Mentors list out which words come under which category. Mentees also arrange the actions as mentors list out the categories.

Mentees then reflect on which set of behaviours they engage in more often than others.

Mentors brainstorm on the word attack and then the word avoid. Mentees call out what each word means for them. There may be good and bad feelings expressed about each word. These can be noted on the chart or board. Mentors ask mentees to think of one personal reason why they would behave in an attacking or avoiding way.

Mentees think about how attacking or avoiding could be expressed. What would they say? How would they say it? How would they say it with their bodies? Note some of these ideas on the chart or board.

Lets learn changing behaviours (15 minutes)

Body language, facial expression and voice/tone is essential to changing how our behaviour is interpreted.

An example of avoiding behaviour might be, Where are you going? said in a soft, uncertain way. This indicates that the person is expecting an angry answer. The body language while saying this might be hunching the shoulders

Mentors ask mentees how the same phrase could be said in an

attacking way

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If mentees are unable to answer, suggest that Where are you going? said while looking straight at the person with a big smile and speaking with a strong, certain voice, will be interpreted more positively.

Try other examples, like What time are you coming back? or What are you doing? and so forth

Lets remember (15 minutes)

Mentors ask mentees to point out what can help recognize and predict the behaviour of others (as warning signs)?

Answer: Tone of voice, body language, gestures.

Mentors ask mentees to explain the warning signs to recognize that they are embarking on attacking or avoiding behaviours?

Answer: Actions from Attack & Avoid game

Allow mentees to think and respond to how one can alter their pattern of reacting and begin to learn a new response?

Answer: Change body structure, tone of voice, facial expressions.

Lets pledge (10 minutes)

For the next week mentees must record instances when they used attacking or avoiding behaviour.

Mentees must also note down where they were able to change things.

Stress that these situations should be written out authentically. Mentees must have a friend vouch for their behaviour.


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Passive, Assertive and Aggressive This session focuses on more specific definitions for passive, assertive, and aggressive. Mentees practice assertive behaviours in role-plays.

Goal

By the end of the session Mentees will: Be able to understand the words passive, assertive, and

aggressive. Be able to identify passive, assertive, and aggressive behaviours. Be able to practice assertive behaviours.

Materials

Video

Pen and paper

Schedule

Time required for the activity: 90 minutes


Mentors encourage mentees to reflect on the follow-up exercise given to mentees in the last activity.

Mentee share the attacking and avoiding aspects of their own behaviour, which they identified through the week.

Mentees also share if they were able to change such behaviours after they noticed it. How did they change it?


Mentees watch the video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=PyG2jtA_rd8#t=24s

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Mentees point out attacking and avoiding behaviours displayed by the characters.

Step 1

Lets learn Passive, Aggressive & Assertive behaviour (30 minutes)

Mentors review the description of attacking behaviour. Mentors ask mentees to recount examples of attacking behaviour.

Mentors explain that such attacking behaviour is called Aggressive.

When mentees have understands the connection between attacking and aggressive, mentors review the description of avoiding behaviour. Mentors ask mentees to recount examples of avoiding behaviour.

Mentors explain that avoiding behaviour is called passive behaviour.

Mentors ask mentees which type of behaviour is better:

o Are either of them the best type of behaviour? o Is there another way to act? o What would be a better approach for interactions with

each other?

Mentors allow the answers to these questions to lead to the idea of assertiveness. Mentors ask probing, open-ended questions to take the exploration to the maximum length possible before supplying any answer.

Mentors tell mentees that it is not necessary for someone to be in the powerful or powerless positionin other words, it is not necessary to attack or avoid. Instead, it is possible to reach a balance between those two behaviours. This type of behaviour assertive.

Mentors ask mentees to define assertive behaviour.

At the end, mentors go over the formal definition of the words:

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Passive Behaviour Giving in to the will of others; hoping to get what you want

without actually having to say it; leaving it to others to guess or letting them decide for you

Taking no action to assert your own rights Putting others first at your expense Giving in to what others want Remaining silent when something bothers you Apologizing a lot Acting submissivefor example: talking quietly, laughing

nervously, sagging shoulders, avoiding disagreement, Hiding face with hands

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Czs0iAz Uz, Ez sdU, zP QPgz Assertive Behaviour

Telling someone exactly what you want in a way that does not seem rude or threatening to them

Standing up for your own rights without putting down the rights of others

Respecting yourself as well as the other person Listening and talking Expressing positive and negative feelings Being confident, but not pushy Staying balancedknowing what you want to say; saying I

feel not I think; being specific; using I statements; talking facetoface with the person; using

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body language that shows you are standing your ground

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Aggressive Behaviour

Expressing your feelings, opinions, or desires in a way that threatens or punishes the other person

Standing up for your own rights with no thought for the other person

Putting yourself first at the expense of others Overpowering others Reaching your own goals, but at the sake of others Dominating behavioursfor example: shouting, demanding,

not listening to others; saying others are wrong; leaning forward; looking down on others; wagging or pointing finger at others; threatening; fighting.

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vg U vPrPz Cx aAwz v PUUV gzz

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EvgjU vAzg GAli v Uj Pz CPg Z qP- GzguU; PUqz, Evgg

ivU Dgz, P P J s; Evggz v J s;AzP Uz;Evgg PV qz;Evggv g izz; zjz; qzlP E0iz

Lets get active assertiveness role-plays (45 minutes)

Mentees act out role plays based on the scenario cards. Mentees first read and understand the scenario. Mentee/s assign themselves roles and practice acting out a 3-5 minute scene.

When preparing for this, mentors ask mentees to think back to the definitions of passive, aggressive and assertive and how body language can be used to communicate these behaviours.

There are two role plays. Each mentee should take the role of the person who responds assertively in atleast one.

Mentors help mentees understand the situation being spoken about in the role play and help them come up with dialogues.

Case 1

Sheila and Rani are best friends in the Sardar Patel Vidyalaya.. They both study in Std 10. They have been put in-charge of managing the budget for their annual class picnic. They have to use this money to buy food and drinks for the students for the day. Sheila has been wanting to buy the new song cassette for the latest Hindi movie . She suggests to Rani that they take out Rs.50 from the money they collected and go purchase that cassette. She tells Rani that no one will know that less money has been spent for the picnic, because they can lie and put higher prices for the items they buy in their accounts. Rani does not want to steal money this way.

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How should she respond to Sheila?

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avz r Pm PPAz UAz D qwz. PPU AUz tAz g. 50 vUzPAq Pm PtAz gtU av. v Evg zyUUV RZ iq tz, U 0i a P vjzg, g. 50 Pr0iUgz 0iijU w0i JAz gtU v. Dzg F jw t P0iz gtU E. C U/iwU U wQP?

Arjun and Meera are good friends. Arjun is a very friendly boy and is popular with all the girls in the college. He has been paying special attention to Meera over the last one week. He approaches Meera with the suggestion that they bunk class and go for a movie, and then go spend sometime in the park near the movie theatre. Meera knows that Arjun has started smoking in the last one month, and does that frequently after school. Arjun keeps telling Meera that it is cool to break the law in college and to smoke.Meera doesnt feel comfortable going with Arjun. How should she respond?

Cd U g M0i vg. Cg 1 0i P Nzwzg. Cd, qU v Pf J qV0igAU d0iVz. Pz MAz gAz C g U U Pqwz. vgUwU ZPg qz av q Ut, g y0ilg Eg P v PP0it JAz C gU av.Pz MAz wAUAz Cd Ugm z DgAgz v Pd Vz Avg z z zz gU Uwz. Pf 0iU GAX zs

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iqzg e Ez JAz Cd gU v. Cd ev U gU EUw. C U wQP?

After mentees act out the role plays, mentors identify the behaviours that were coming across.

Mentor give ideas for improvement while appreciating what mentees have done. If necessary, mentees redo the role-play until assertive behaviour is clearly seen.

Lets remember (5 minutes)

A powerful way to reinforce the ideas from this session is for mentees to get back into the Statues of Power pairs and to position themselves into their attacking or avoiding roles.

When mentees are ready, suggest that each pair move from the attacking or avoiding stance to a more assertive posture.

Point out the transformation from positions of powerlessness and power to positions of equality and mutual empowerment.

\


For the next week mentees try out 2 instances when they used assertive behaviour.

Stress that these situations should be practiced authentically. Mentees must have a friend vouch for their behaviour.


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Personal Relationships Realizing ones self-worth and the value of personal relationships is critical to our success. In this module, the mentees will be encouraged to think about and share the strengths and challenges of their personality, value their personal relationships and identify their role models. It involves encouraging the mentees to imbibe the positive traits and deal with the challenging ones to enhance their self-esteem. Mentees will also be guided to create their network map of family members and friends that they can access as and when required. Goal

By the end of the session mentees will: Have identified their strengths and challenges

Have learned the value of building relationships that can lead to success in personal and professional life.

Have learned how to manage their personal relationships

Have learned how to create personal connections and circles

Materials

Video clipping at

Pens and paper

Schedule

Activity time: 90 minutes


o Mentors and mentees should watch the video at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opWmN14nNKI

o Mentors must ask mentees what positive and challenging qualities they observed in the video.

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Lets get active - fill the Bucket of qualities (30 minutes)

Mentor encourage mentees to think about the positive and challenging qualities in themselves and others.

Mentees list the qualities inside 3 Buckets of Qualities listed in the Appendix

o What I like in others? Circle which of these qualities you would like to emulate.

o What I dislike in others? o The strength and challenges of my personality

Mentors might have to help mentees in identifying their strengths and challenges. Mentors can use the following examples from everyday life to help mentees identify strengths and challenges:

o Do you get up on time for school each morning? (Based on the response, punctuality can be listed a strength or challenge.)

o Do you help your friends or family members in their tasks? (Based on the response, helpful attitude can be listed a strength or challenge.)

o Do you boast too much about help you may have offered? (Based on the response, humility can be listed a strength or challenge.)

o Do you listen or get angry when people give you advice? (Based on the response, accommodation and flexibility can be listed a strength or challenge.)

o Do you make time for doing your homework? (Based on the response, commitment can be listed a strength or challenge.)

o Add any others

Mentors make mentees aware that each one has strengths and challenges in themselves. It is important to value people despite these. It is important to value family members and people in ones social circle as each connections has something to offer.

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Mentors talk to mentees about the importance of developing a sense of honor in their personal qualities. Emphasize that with these qualities mentees can contribute a lot to their families and community. Also mention that since mentees are now aware of the challenges in their personality they can work on addressing them. Mentees should not see the challenges as obstacles but merely as traits that they can manage with some degree of awareness and effort.

Lets get active finding common qualities (30 minutes)

After the mentees have listed their strengths and weaknesses ask them to look for common traits among the three buckets. Help the mentees to understand that like themselves, their friends and family members possess both positive and challenging qualities. Make them understand that it is important to realize this, learn from the strengths of others and accept their weaknesses.

Ask the mentees to list the names of people (some of their friends, and family members) who according to them have positive and challenging qualities. What would they like to learn in particular from those people?

Make them aware that one can realize the worth of a relationship, only when he/she thinks of what to contribute to a relationship rather than thinking of getting benefitted from it.

TIP FOR MENTOR Note: Mentees may not be very comfortable in building relationships and sometimes may suffer from low self-esteem. This segment will help to create relatedness and trust through communication. Emphasize that each of us brings something unique to the table; dont always think about how you can benefit from a relationship but see what you can contribute. This will help to build self-esteem. Creating relationship, a network, a community helps individuals to be happy and successful. Its like a safety net created not for any specific purpose but one can always fall back on it if required. Communications skills from the life skills curriculum can be used here.

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Lets learn : Building a network of relationships (5 minutes)

Mentors talk about the importance of building, improving and sustaining good network of relationships.

Mentees can view these connections as a safety net that they can fall back on when required.

Mentees should not see the network as a source of only receiving advice and help but should also contribute based on their individual strengths.

The network of relationships can be on personal, education, career and friendship fronts.

Lets get active: network pie (30 minutes)

Mentors explain the network of relationships in Appendix 2. Mentors explain what the different name and qualities mean.

Mentees draw out a blank picture with similar headings. They add names of friends, family, community (including mentors!) to this picture according to what they want to learn from each person. And what quality they will learn from.

Mentees also write what quality of theirs they will share with their network in each aspect.


Mentees must approach atleast 2-3 people they have identified in their network in the coming week. They must start working on building the skill they admire through this relationship/person. They should narrate their efforts to mentors in the following meeting.

APPENDIX 1

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APPENDIX 2

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Dreams as Inspirations There can be no greater inspiration than the opportunity to pursue ones dream. In this session, mentees will be encouraged to think about and share their dreams. Dream is defined here as goal that is very dear to the mentee; something that they may consider challenging but is still inspiring for them. This could be an ongoing activity, with a timely guidance from the mentor to the mentees. Goal

By the end of the session mentees will: Have thought about his/her dreams and will have shared it with

the mentor

Have learned to identify actionable goals and activities to achieve these dreams

Materials

Video clipping

Pens, markers and paper

Blank chart paper

Schedule

Activity time: 90 minutes


o Mentors and mentees should watch the video at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRRKJmQtzVg (watch maybe 4-5 minutes of the entire thing you can fast forward to the end when Nik Wallenda completes the task)

o Mentors ask mentees to share their thoughts after watching the video.

o After mentees share initial thoughts, prompt them: Did you think this was possible?, Why do you think Nik was able to do this?.

o Help mentees identify that the sky is the limit (in this case

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literally!) when we set up mind to do something. It is having a dream which inspires and drives us that is most important.

o Ask mentees to speak about their understanding of the word dreams. Let them brainstorm and share. Your input can be on the lines that : Dreams are an individuals inspiration to accomplish some goals in his/her life. The dream can be related to personal, academic or professional goals.

o Help them understand the importance of using a mentees dreams as an anchor during the course of the mentorship. The mentor can refer to the mentees dream to inspire and encourage him/her to undertake or avoid certain actions.

Lets share (15 minutes)

Ask mentees to take 5 minutes to think about their dreams, and then share it with you. Allow them to share it uninterruptedly, in whatever form/way they are able to. Mentors can ask mentees why these dreams are dear to them, and what inspired them to value such a dream. TIP: For many mentees the opportunity to think about and express their dream may be new. This could possibly be the first time that someone has asked them about their dreams. Their first response may be that they have never thought about it. Some mentees may also provide a general response, that they have not really thought about achieving (E.g I want to be a doctor/IAS officer/police officer). At this stage, DO NOT counter the mentee saying these not achievable or vague. Through the session, we will help them make the aspirations more actionable, realistic and time-bound.

After the mentees share their dreams, tell mentees that dreams

are closely linked to the future. Prompt them to think more about the future, by answering some/all of these questions:

Where do you see yourself 5 years from now describe your life?

If anything were possible, what would you ask for?

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If a genie grants you a wish what would that be?

What is something that you find exciting and look forward to?

What achievement will enhance your sense of accomplishment in life?

Wrap up this discussion by reinforcing the importance of defining our dreams. Tell mentees that verbalizing and sharing dreams will make mentees own their dreams. We tend to identify with and commit to our dreams more closely if we have an opportunity to talk about it

Lets learn how to make my dreams a reality? (20 minutes) Prompt mentees to discuss how their dreams can be made true.

They may share some general thoughts like I have to work hard, I must stay focused, I should not give up.

Validate all of the mentees ideas. Tell them these are all true. In addition, share with mentees that dreams can become a reality

when we break it down into goals. This may be a new word for mentees. Ask them what they understand by a Goal.

Lead them to understand that a GOAL is something an outcome or a result, that we try to achieve, which will helps us move closer to realizing our dreams.

A dream, though inspiring, may also appear challenging and intimidating. Nik Wallenda would have been simulataneously inspired and frightened by the thought of crossing the Grand Canyon using a tightrope! Ask mentees to brainstorm What goals did Nik Wallenda set-up to achieve his dream? E.g: Understand the geography of the Grand Canyon, Build balance in windy weather.

After mentees have identified goals, introduce them to the idea of SMART goals. How will we know if a Goal will help us achieve our dream? A Goal should have the following features to be effective

S Specific A goal should be clear, not vague

o I want to study well o I want to pass 9th standard with a distinction in every

subject

Ask mentees which of these goals is specific? Translate it into the

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relevant language orally if necessary.

M Measurable How will we know if we have achieved a goal? A goal should have some clear way of measuring it

o I want to improve myself o I want to get angry or shout at others fewer than 2 times

a week

Ask mentees which of these goals is measurable?

A Attainable realistic. This does not mean we choose goals that are easy, or that we dont push ourselves, but we must also not choose something that is impossible/illegal/harms others

o I want to be able to speak atleast 5 sentences in English to describe myself by 6 months

o I want to be able to build a big house by the end of the year

Ask mentees which of these goals is attainable?

R Relevant does the goal matter? Sometimes we can choose goals that are specific, measurable and attainable. But they do not help us improve or grow in life.

o I want to have 5 career options by the end of the year o I want to be the fastest person in having a bath in my

Home

Ask mentees which of these goals is relevant?

T Timebound there should be a timeline/calendar or deadline by which the goal should be achieved.

o I want to be able to spell longer words by the end of 5 months

o I want to improve English Ask mentees which of these goals is time-bound?

Wrap-up the discussion by asking mentees to state what they understand by Goals, why Goals are important according to them and also what characterizes good goals.

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Lets get active - creating goals (20 minutes) Having understood dreams and goals, now mentees should select

some dreams and set out actionable goals for those dreams.

Mentors help mentees to identify, prioritize and choose some dreams from their dream chart.

Now encourage them to set 3-5 goals to achieve those dreams. E.g if their dream is I want to be able to take care of my family when I finish my education, encourage them to think of the smaller goals they need to achieve to make this happen. These could include

Goal 1 - Completing secondary school with distinction

Goal 2 Being able to independently write a resume in English and speak in a job interview in English

Goal 3 Securing a job after graduation that helps me take care of my mother and father, and provide for my sisters education

As much possible, leave mentees to come up with goals themselves. Do not make the goals for them. When they set-up goals, use the framework of SMART goals to help them improve their goals.

Lets get active activities to achieve my goals (20 minutes) With the goal set, now encourage mentees to think through

specific activities that they will do regularly to achieve atleast 1 or 2 most immediate goals.

Following with the example, the most immediate goal could be on academic performance. Make the mentee brainstorm all the activities they are committing to doing for this goal. Activities should also follow the SMART rule. Make them also write out activities for all their remaining goals.

To get this to stick/remain with the mentee for long, use the simple goal and activity planner at the end of the session to make the mentee write out their final goals and activities, with

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timelines.

Once they complete a goal and ready to move to the next one, they can join the in between path with a thick line.

Imagining taste of success As a last step, ask the mentees to think of how they will

celebrate their achievement of goals and dreams. This will help them start with a positive mindset!

References: Ongoing trainings for mentors - Twelve Interactive Sessions for U.S Department of Education Mentoring Programs (2006), Mentoring Resource Centre

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References: Ongoing trainings for mentors - Twelve Interactive Sessions for U.S Department of Education Mentoring Programs (2006), Mentoring Resource Centre

Life Skills Set New _ English & Kannada

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